Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 20

Quickie Workouts for Women at Home

Hi, Tiffany here to talk with you about some recent statistics I discovered. Did you know the #1 New Years Resolution is to lose weight? This is closely followed by goals like getting organized, enjoying life to the fullest, and falling in love. This shouldn’t surprise anyone. Especially after learning the average person gains anywhere from 5 to 20 pounds over the holidays. Why? Because with an abundance of joy that comes with the season there is also:

An abundance of stress
An abundance parties
An abundance of really yummy food

What can you do if you want to shed those extra holiday pounds? It’s a bit cold outside to go for a run or ride a bike. Of course, you could always bundle up, but all those bulky layers can really slow you down. Besides, you are probably SUPER busy now that the New Year has begun. I know I am! Is it even possible to sneak in a workout during what little down time you have?

Surprisingly, there are quite a few effective workouts for women at home. All of them are simple and painless, and a few may be even fun! Best of all, they each can be done 10 minutes or less. Since experts recommend at least 30 minutes of physical activity a day, strive for 3 or 4 mini workouts spaced throughout the day, or go for the long haul and do a few consecutively in the morning or in the evening after work. It’s true, you don’t have to devote hours at the gym to see results!

Best Workouts For Women at Home

com offers the 10-Minute-Trainer, a total body workout that activates all your muscles groups in just one move — perfect for anyone with a busy schedule. But be prepared to sweat! This workout focuses on your upper body, lower body, and your core, plus cardio, all at the same time. FYI, did you know that best selling author and relationship coach Gregg Michaelsen is also a Team Beachbody coach?
If you have a garage or enough space at home, jumping rope is an awesome workout which increases your heart rate and tones your whole body, plus it can really make you feel like a kid again! Skip yourself slim with the 10-Minute Jump Rope Workout from Fitness Magazine, including the basics to get you started. This workout burns 135 calories fast, and sculpts your shoulders, chest, arms and legs.
Speaking of feeling like a kid again, a mini trampoline takes up very little space, and some can even be folded in half and stored away when not in use. This low stress, high impact workout lets you burn calories the fun way, right in the comfort of your own living room. Some mini trampoline manufacturers like Urban Rebounder even provide their own workout videos.
Of course, you don’t need fancy equipment to get a good workout at home. Simple exercises like push-ups, planks and sit-ups use your own bodyweight as resistance training, and can easily be done on the floor while you watch TV at night. Streaming workouts like The Daily Burn let you watch workout videos on your computer, tablet, TV, or smartphone.

Of course, it’s always more fun to workout with a friend, or boyfriend. Exercising together keeps you motivated and makes things more fun. Of course, sex is also a great way to sneak in some extra cardio! According to Women’s Health Magazine, sex burns anywhere from 85 to 250 calories, depending on how long you spend in the sack. Plus you can also tone your back, butt, abs, and thighs by working up a sweat with your man.

Regardless of what you choose, pick something which matches your physical and time limitations and go for it! Putting it off until there is a good time to exercise means you’ll be stepping on the scale to even bigger numbers – and more weight to lose than you have right now.

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The Top 5 First Date Do’s and Don’ts for 2016

It’s the start of a new year, and the perfect time to talk about first dates. Going out with a totally new guy can be both exciting and nerve wracking at the same time! You can’t wait to hang out with him one-on-one, but all the while, your mind is full of what-ifs and worry. It’s Tiffany today with some helpful advice in this department. I’m here to help you stop stressing with the top five first date do’s and don’ts for 2016!

DO: Be Yourself

The best way to ensure a second date, and possibly a successful relationship in the future, is to be real. Trying to be something you are not, in the way you act AND in the way you present yourself, will only backfire and lead to disaster. Don’t wear a fancy dress and heels if you’re a jeans and boots kind of girl, and don’t say you love skydiving if you’re not prepared to jump out of a plane. It’s as simple as that. If he doesn’t like you for who you are, he’s not the right guy for you.

DO: Be On Time

There’s no such thing as fashionably late. If you are meeting him at 8PM, it does not mean leave the house at 8PM. It means be there at 8PM, or slightly earlier. After 30 minutes, he will probably think you’re a no-show and take off. If he does wait for you, at the least, you’ve been just plain inconsiderate. If it normally takes you two hours to do your hair and get ready, plan accordingly.

DO: Keep Comfort in Mind

On a first date, or any subsequent date for that matter, you want to be able to focus on the conversation, and spend your time enjoying his company and getting to know him better. You don’t want to be distracted by shoes that pinch your feet, no matter how sexy they are. Avoid worrying about things popping out that shouldn’t by choosing your wardrobe wisely. You can look great and still be somewhat comfortable. Remember, you need to be able to walk, talk and breathe.

DON’T: Be Wishy-Washy

If he asks you what you want to do, be decisive and involved. Don’t say. “I don’t know, whatever you want to do is fine.” You may just end up at some freaky movie that scares the crap out of you and eating sushi when you’re allergic to fish. You’ll both end up feeling bad about how the date went if you let him make all the decisions and things go awry. How long can you really keep up appearances? Wishy-washy can get old real fast for everyone involved. Guys tend to like a girl who speaks up.

DON’T: Starve

If he orders steak and you want steak, order steak. If you love pasta, order pasta. Don’t just poke around a side salad and pretend that’s all you need. Guys will tell you there’s nothing more uncomfortable than a girl who won’t eat on a date. Besides, you may end up “hangry” (hungry/angry) if you starve yourself, and that’s probably not the best way to make a good first impression. If you’re worried about a goodnight kiss, keep some gum or mints in your pocket for later.

DON’T: Overshare

Some of us tend to talk a lot when we’re nervous. Let him get to know you, but don’t over share or monopolize the conversation. He does not need to know every last messy detail about your life on a first date. Ask him questions about his job, his friends and family, his hobbies, and favorite bands or TV shows to keep the conversation naturally flowing back and forth between the two of you. Don’t interrupt what he is saying, even if something awesome and relatable pops in your head, it can wait until he’s done.

More First Date Do’s and Don’ts

DO: Put your phone away — status updates can wait
DON’T: Run to the bathroom every five minutes to check your hair and makeup
DO: Pay attention and be a good listener
DON’T: Mention other guys
DO: Offer To Pay or Split the Bill. If he declines, at least leave the tip or pay for the popcorn. If he accepts, be prepared to actually pay
DON’T: Drink too much
DO: Send a quick and casual, “Had a great time, thanks again!” text afterwards
DON’T: Send him a long and intense, “I had the best time, you are the perfect guy for me, I can’t wait to see you again and introduce you to my family and BFFs, how does tomorrow sound XOXOX?” text afterwards and stalk him until he responds

Here’s To A Happy (and Romantic) New Year!

The post The Top 5 First Date Do’s and Don’ts for 2016 appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Taking Personal Responsibility to Find Love in 2016!

I have decided to make 2016 the year for taking personal responsibility! Here’s the thing, though. I need you to join me! It’s never fun to do something like this alone. Just so you know how committed I am to dragging you along, let me show you what I did! I wrapped my truck! Can you believe it? I can’t believe the response I’ve gotten! I park at the mall and when I come out, someone is always waiting to talk to me!

But, I digress…

Big things are in store for us in 2016, I hope you are as excited about this New Year as I am! This is your year to stop the insanity! No more excuses! It’s time to find love – find that one great partner! Are you ready? No? Well, get ready because I’m about to get tough! (And I don’t get tough often!)

You need to make a decision. Do you want to find love or not? I mean really – you have all the tools. I have twelve of the best books on the market covering almost everything you need to know. So why are you not applying my tactics? Nevermind, I know…

“Gregg, it’s hard.”
“I don’t have the time.”
“Online dating sucks, they are all creeps.”
“I’m overweight so I never get chosen.”

Excuses! All of them!

I have a close friend, Peter, who can’t lose weight. I usually stay out of “Gregg the life coach mode”, with my close friends unless they ask but I stepped in the poo last week. Peter is 40 pounds overweight and complains daily about how the gym sucks. He tried another gym and he said the same thing to me.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I said, “Peter, it’s not the gyms – it’s you. The gym is just a big space with weights and machines which just sit there. They have no personality. You need to do something with them. The refrigerator is very similar – a machine that you need to stock with foods which will keep you thin – but you need to stock it with food which will keep you thin!”

Yeah, I pissed him off – wasn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last.

But do you understand my message? I am holding you accountable this year! I want you to find love, but you need to give it more than just a half-ass effort. Online dating doesn’t suck if you know what you are doing.

Are you screening multiple guys as I describe in Love is in The Mouse?
Are you asking the right questions?
Are you rotating your pics and visiting the site every day so you stay at the top?
Are you casting your net wide?
Are you presenting your best side, both with your profile and your pics?
Did you take my confidence course before you started dating?

If you are doing these things for real then you are tossing out the losers, the couch potatoes and the users! If you are committing to yourself and absorbing my information, then you are having success – you have no choice. The quality guys are there, but they need to see you. You need to rise above the others.

One of the biggest issues I’m seeing over and over is women are picking and hanging onto the wrong guy! STOP IT!

As a single woman who follows my advice, you are surrounding yourself with several men. This helps you avoid falling into a dangerous trap. When you only date one guy at a time, you can immediately latch onto him, thinking he should return the favor. The problem is, he shouldn’t, and why would he anyway? You don’t know enough about him or vice versa. You don’t know if he is emotionally available, dating and totally getting into someone else, or what’s going on in his life which may make him a wet kitten – all things which make him a wrong guy for you.

When a guy isn’t right for you, don’t take it personally, be glad you found out before too much time has passed. Timing is everything. This same thing applies to ex-boyfriends and husbands. If he won’t deal with his alcoholism, hasn’t supported himself for the last 12 years, and/or isn’t divorced yet, lose him! I don’t care if his penis is twelve feet long, you need to lose him and find the man who is right for you.

I say these things because I care for you. We need to step up – all of us! This includes me, in fact let’s make a promise to each other to try harder in 2016.  I am setting new goals and I am going to be there for more of you, more often, with the advice and the motivation you need, but you need to do your part. You need to absorb this information and apply it!

Deal? Awesome!

Hopefully, I am helping you today or maybe, like my friend, Peter, I am pissing you off – that’s your decision to make but my heart is in the right place.

Gregg…your Drill Sergeant.

P.S. If you see me in my truck in the Boston area, (above) give a shout out and say “Hi!”

The post Taking Personal Responsibility to Find Love in 2016! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Taking Personal Responsibility to Find Love in 2016!

Big things are in store for me and you in 2016. I hope you are as excited as I am about this new year! Are you? You’re not??? Why not? Ohhh, I know, you haven’t found a high value man yet. Why not? Nevermind, the reason doesn’t matter. That’s in the past. Today is the day I challenge you to join me in taking personal responsibility for the future. Are you ready?

First, let me share what I did for you – I wrapped my truck! Can you believe it? I must be the only dating coach brave enough (or stupid enough according to my guy friends) to drive around advertising my man-taming abilities to women!

I digress…enough of nice-guy Gregg – I’m going to get tough now!

You need to make a decision. Do you want to find love or don’t you? You have all the tools. I have twelve of the best books on the market covering almost everything you need to know.

I hear all kinds of excuses from women who say they can’t take the steps in my books:

“Gregg, it’s hard.”
“I don’t have the time.”
“ Online dating sucks, they are all creeps.”
“ I’m overweight so I never get chosen.”

Excuses!

I have a close friend who can’t lose weight. I usually stay out of Gregg the life coach mode, with my close friends unless they ask, but I stepped in the poo last week. We’ll call my friend Peter. Peter is 40 pounds overweight and complains daily about how the gym sucks. He tried another gym and he said the same thing to me.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I said, “Peter, it’s not the gyms – it’s you. The gym is just a big space with weights and machines which just sit there. They have no personality. You need to do something with them. The refrigerator is very similar – a machine that you need to stock with foods which will keep you thin – but you need to stock it with food which will actually keep you thin!”

Yeah, I pissed him off – wasn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last.

But do you understand my message? I am holding you accountable this year! I am asking you to take personal responsibility for your life! I want you to find love, but you need to give it more than just a half-ass effort.

Online dating doesn’t suck if you know what you are doing

Are you screening multiple guys as I describe in Love is in The Mouse?
Are you asking the right questions?
Are you rotating your pics and visiting the site every day so you stay at the top?
Are you casting your net wide?
Are you presenting your best side, both with your profile and your pics?
Did you take my confidence course before you started dating?

If you are doing these things for real then you are tossing out the losers, the couch potatoes and the users! If you are committing to yourself and absorbing my information, then you are having success – you have no choice. The quality guys are there, but they need to see you. You need to rise above the others.

Choosing Mr. Right

One of the biggest issues I’m seeing over and over is women are picking and hanging onto the wrong guy! STOP IT!

As a single woman who follows my advice, you are surrounding yourself with several men. This helps you avoid falling into a dangerous trap. When you only date one guy at a time, you can immediately latch onto him, thinking he should return the favor. The problem is, he shouldn’t, and why would he anyway? You don’t know enough about him or vice versa. You don’t know if he is emotionally available, dating and totally getting into someone else, or what’s going on in his life which may make him a wet kitten – all things which make him a wrong guy for you.

When a guy isn’t right for you, don’t take it personally, be glad you found out before too much time has passed. Timing is everything.

This same thing applies to ex-boyfriends and husbands. If he won’t deal with his alcoholism, hasn’t supported himself for the last 12 years, and/or isn’t divorced yet, lose him! I don’t care if his penis is twelve feet long, you need to lose him and find the man who is right for you.

Today is the Day for Taking Personal Responsibility

I say these things because I care for you. We need to step up – all of us! This includes me, in fact let’s make a promise to each other to try harder in 2016.  I am setting new goals and I am going to be there for more of you, more often, with the advice and the motivation you need, but you need to do your part. You need to absorb this information and apply it!

Deal? Awesome!

Hopefully, I am helping you today or maybe, like my friend, Peter, I am pissing you off – that’s your decision to make but my heart is in the right place.

Gregg…your Drill Sergeant.

P.S. If you see me in my truck, shown here, in the Boston area, give a shout out and say “Hi!” This has been a huge success! Now, when I walk out of the mall, I have people who want to speak to me!

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What is Love All About?

Happy New Year! It’s Kirbie today to share with you about a podcast I was listening to recently. It was on a topic many people misunderstand – love. In the coaching Gregg and I do, love is always a huge factor. We are all in one of these phases – I just lost someone I love, I have someone I love and I want to keep him, or I want to find someone to love. Most of our coaching deals with the first – I just lost someone I love. It was this, combined with the podcast, which inspired me to write to you today about this burning question – what is love all about?

You Choose to Love

Love isn’t going to land in your lap. As much as I would like it to happen, love isn’t going to just land in my life. When we meet a new man, something either clicks between you or it doesn’t, but this isn’t love. It’s excitement or infatuation, maybe lust. You can make a choice, though, to learn more about this person, and over time, you build intimacy together and begin showing one another your love.

We all know someone we would describe as being ‘incapable of loving’. A person who can be described in this way is someone who is choosing another emotion, like anger, instead of love. Your emotions are a choice you make, but many don’t realize this. We often coach women to begin listening to the voice in their heads – to hear the negative thoughts and insert positive replacements. This is the beginning of controlling your own emotions.

Think of it this way. You’re driving down the highway, minding your own business until someone cuts you off, causing you to slam on your breaks or swerve. What you do next is your choice. You can choose to be grateful you didn’t get into an accident or you can choose to rant and rave, flip them off, and generally have a hissy fit. Whether you realize it or not, you make a choice.

Your Actions Show Your Love

When you are in a committed relationship, love is something you do, something you show your partner. Love isn’t something you just feel. You choose to love someone by being there for him. If your spouse is up in the middle of the night ill, you choose to love him when you get up with him, to comfort him and meet any immediate needs he may have. This is an act of love. A choice you made to love him by caring for him.

By the same token, you can show someone you don’t love them by your inaction. I have a very close relative who has major medical issues which often land him in the emergency room. His (now ex) wife wouldn’t even lift a finger to help him. He either had to call a rescue squad or ask another family member to take him to the ER. His wife never missed a beat in her life. She showed him she didn’t love him by her lack of action.

When You Love, You make a Commitment

For those of you who are parents, you may understand this better than anyone. You love your children, and you, as a good parent, know that showing your love to your children means supporting them, disciplining them when necessary, encouraging them to learn and grow, and taking on their feeding and daily care. This isn’t something you do because you’re required to. I have seen the results of parents who don’t love their children. It does happen and with devastating results. You make a choice to love them, and with that choice, you make a commitment to their care and well-being.

The same goes for a relationship. When you choose to love someone, you make a commitment to them – to be supportive of their dreams, to care for them when they are ill or injured, to be honest and open with them.

Recognize Love

With all of that said, do you recognize love, or a lack of it, when it is in your life? Gregg spends a lot of time in his books explaining how men love, and much of this fits how men love. We both hear many women tell us “he doesn’t love me”, then they go on to explain how the man in question came over and fixed their car, garbage disposal, garage door or leaky toilet. Maybe he came and hung a shelf, dug a new garden, mowed your lawn or took out your trash.

His actions showed you his love. He chose to do those things instead of hanging with his buddies or watching sports. He made a commitment to you to help you.

On the other hand, does your man only provide lip service? Be careful of a man who only says he loves you without putting actions behind his words. Especially a man who is treating you poorly, hurting you more often than he helps you. He makes many promises, delivers on few, if any. He says he loves you, but he chooses to work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, spending day 7 in front of the television or out playing golf. He says he loves you, but instead of spending time with you on your one night off, he chooses to go to the bar with the same buddies he was just with 2 nights prior.

So Then, What is Love?

Love is deliberate, not something that just happens. What we often call love is really emotions like euphoria, desire, excitement, happiness and maybe even lust. Those things come and go as quickly as the things which cause them. He says he loves you, you feel excited and happy. He chooses to date another woman, you feel devastation and heartbreak. Rather than listen to what he says, look at the choices he makes, the commitment he has to your relationship or his actions toward you.

The same goes for you. If he doesn’t feel loved, are you showing him you love him? Did you make a commitment to the relationship? Did your actions show him you love him? Did you choose him over an extra 3 hours of yoga class? Love goes both ways and requires a lot of effort.

For more ways to learn about strengthening your relationship through actions, commitment and choice, read Gregg’s latest book, for sale only on the Who Holds the Cards Website, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life.

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How to Dump a Guy Nicely

When it comes to calling it quits, are you naughty or nice? Breaking up is hard to do, especially if he’s a nice guy. You’ve probably been dumped a few times yourself, so you know it can really sting if not done carefully. You don’t want to crush his heart, but at the same time, you no longer want to be together as a couple. Is it possible to let him down gently and part on good terms? Actually, it is! Anna is here today with a few tips on how to dump a guy nicely.

The longer you wait, the harder it gets

The goal is to make the break up as painless as possible — for the both of you. Do yourself a favor, don’t drag things out and play the part of the happy girlfriend when your heart isn’t in it. I’m not saying rip the Band-Aid off, but rather, ease it off gently, as soon as possible, before it gets stuck and more difficult to remove. If you’re not into him, tell him you need to talk, and be crystal clear with your message. Be kind, but let him know, under no uncertain terms, it’s over. You may think you’re being nice, but don’t give him false hope by comforting him with one last hug or a goodbye kiss if you want his wounds to heal.

Make sure he hears it from you

I know it’s helpful to confide in your girlfriends when working up the courage to end a relationship, but be selective. The last thing you want to do is humiliate him. Out of respect, he should hear it from you before he hears it from someone else. Be brave and speak to him face to face. Do not break up with him by sending a text message or email! It may seem like the easy way out, but it’s certainly not cool. Would you want someone to treat you that way?

It’s Complicated

Before the advent of social media, it was much easier to make a clean break. Now, the situation is a little more awkward and uncomfortable thanks to social sites like Facebook. What happens when you are “friends” with your soon-to-be-old-flame? Do you just change your status to “Single” and hope for the best, then worry about his feelings when you post photos of his replacement? Or, do you unfriend him altogether and block him from your page? “It’s Complicated” is an understatement!

Fortunately, Facebook has recently come up with a new feature to help simplify an already sticky situation. “Take a Break” activates when mobile users change their relationship status, allowing you to fine-tune what your ex can and cannot see on your page. It also lets you choose to see less of what he is posting, without blocking or unfriending him. You can even edit old posts and remove tags from photos, giving you more options when a relationship ends, to keep things civil.

Time to Have the Talk

Keep your break-up speech short and sweet — 30 minutes max
On the other hand, don’t just say, “we’re done” and walk away, he deserves some sort of explanation
Be honest, just not brutally honest; lying to get out of a relationship will surely backfire, but you also don’t want to be cruel
It’s not you it’s me…. What does that even mean? Don’t blame yourself and don’t place the blame on him. Instead, tell him why you don’t feel like you are a good match
Hear him out – he may have questions, especially if you are blind-siding him
If he wants to just get up and go, let him. Don’t force him to talk to you if he doesn’t want to
If you are both happy with moving forward as just friends, that’s awesome, just be sure to leave the old relationship in the past, where it belongs
If your nice guy turns mean, don’t engage with him in any way – remain calm, let him say his peace and leave – time to move on

Sometimes boyfriends cheat on you, forget Valentine’s Day, or bail on your dinner date to watch a football game. In those cases, don’t worry too much about how to dump a guy nicely — a text message break up is perfectly understandable and acceptable.

Do you have a question for Gregg? Visit Gregg’s One Question  and ask your question for just $25! That’s right, you can get an answer to the pesky situation you have without full-price coaching! It’s quick, it’s private, and can help get your relationship back on its feet in no time. Gregg will personally answer your question within 24 hours (sometimes sooner) and will provide one follow up question for clarification.

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How to Keep a Man Interested

You’re right in the middle of some of the worst stress right now – the holiday season. Wondering what to get your parents, who have everything they need, what to get your husband or boyfriend, who can be tricky to buy gifts for. Holiday parties, kids programs, it goes on and on. This time of year is stressful and stress takes a toll on your body and on your relationships. I know because I’m caught up in it too – holiday shoppers honking horns, cutting people off in parking lots and the whole mess. It’s Kirbie today to show you how to keep a man interested and get your relationship back on track.

In his new book, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man Interested for Life, Gregg takes you through many different ways in which you can keep a man interested. Some are more challenging than others, but one suggestion you shouldn’t ignore is taking a vacation together.

Sure, your stressors may still be there when you get home, but taking a vacation from all of the other stressors of life can serve to give you time to talk, reconnect and discuss those stressors. A man is much more likely to listen to you if you’re both getting along, and if he’s happy. Who’s not happy on a vacation!

How to Afford It

This could even turn into a great gift idea for the two of you to give one another. Rather than buying him another tie, dress shirt, widget for his hobby or ugly sweater (c’mon let’s face it, it’s ugly), pool your gift money into the beginnings of a trip away. If it’s in the budget, you could even consider a quick, romantic weekend getaway. Anything which gets the two of you away from the house for a couple of days to a relaxing place works!

If going away just isn’t in the budget at all, go for a staycation. See if grandma and grandpa can take the kids for a couple of nights. Look into the nooks and crannies of your community for things to do. There are usually unknown corners of any town to visit – cute shops or something connected to one or both of your hobbies. If you can’t afford to eat out, prepare a few meals ahead of time and pop them in the freezer, that way you’re just pulling something out and tossing it in the oven. Make sure to stop the mail and newspaper for a few days too so you’re not distracted by the stressors you’re trying to vacation from!

Vacation Rules

Establish some rules, like no cell phones except during designated times of the day like while the other person is in the shower or right after lunch before you head out to the ski slopes or antique shops. If you have kids at home, obviously you have to stay in touch, but having the phone with you while you’re trying to talk and connect can be a major distraction.

Agree not to disagree. Of course, things come up which you may not agree on, but if it’s which tour to take today versus tomorrow, toss a coin and agree to do both. If that’s not possible, someone will need to compromise. If your relationship is solid, compromise is not an issue. If you’re already on thin ice, this is good practice for you on learning how to compromise! How important is it really to visit one place over another? Are you just holding your ground for the sake of holding it?

How to Keep a Man Interested in Going on Vacation

If you’re having trouble convincing your man you two need a vacation, choose something which appeals to him. If he’s a football fan, head to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in my home state of Ohio. If he’s into skiing or snowboarding, head off to the lodge. If you’re not into it, take a few good books and maybe invite another couple to go along. The men can ski while the women do a spa day.

If your guy is into cars, I once visited The National Auto Museum on a trip to Reno. I’m not into cars but I truly enjoyed the visit. The point is to find something he will be interested in. This gives him fewer reasons to resist the idea. Next time, you can bargain for a trip focusing on something in which you’re interested.

Win a Romantic Getaway

Gregg is so into this idea, he is offering his readers the opportunity to win a romantic getaway to The Berry Manor Inn in Rockland Maine. You can check out the details of the contest here.

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Casual But Cool Christmas Gifts for A New Boyfriend

You have a new man in your life and he’s the perfect package. He gives you that warm holiday glow from the top of your head to the tips of your toes (and everywhere in between)! I bet right about now, you’re wondering what you should get him for Christmas. The relationship is still new, so you don’t want to go too extravagant. At the same time, you want to be thoughtful and let him know you care. You can’t just run to the drugstore and pick up any old thing. That won’t do. But what are appropriate “casual but cool” Christmas gifts for a new boyfriend?

Hi, Tiffany here. It’s the most wonderful time of year, and you have someone special to share it with. Your first Christmas together should be joyful, not stressful! We’re here to help with some gift ideas for your favorite guy (besides Santa Claus, of course). Keep this guide handy while you do your holiday shopping this year!

Top 10 Christmas Gifts For A New Boyfriend

In-Ear Headphones: You can’t go wrong with a good pair of earbuds, especially for the guy who loves music (or listening to podcasts). You can find them as cheap as $5, but for a nice pair, prices range from $30 to $300. High-performance earbuds are comfortable and lightweight, drown out external noise, and have amazing sound quality. Check out CNET’s list of Best Earbuds (In-Ear Headphones) of 2015.

Mini Pro Lenses: Forget the selfie stick. Snap on wide angle and telephoto lenses are a great gift for the guy who loves to use his smartphone as a camera. Prices run about $25 each lens.

Portable Bluetooth Speaker: Lightweight and compact, portable Bluetooth speakers use vibrations to amplify sound. That means he can stream music wirelessly while in the shower, at work, or just about anywhere! Prices range from $40 to almost a thousand, but you don’t have to spend a fortune for a quality speaker. Shop around and find the best sound and features at a price you can afford.

E-Tip Gloves: Baby, it’s cold outside! Scarves, hats and gloves are always a nice gift this time of year. But if you want some thing a little more unusual, go for tech-friendly e-tip gloves. That way he can text you love notes while he’s braving the winter weather!

Sunglasses: Guys love sunglasses. And he will look hot enough to melt snow in a slick pair of aviators, so it’s a win-win! You can spend as little or as much as you want, depending on the brand.

Netflix: So a new flat screen might be a bit much, but a subscription to Netflix is just right for a new boyfriend. He will love snuggling on the couch with you and binge-watching movies and TV shows. Throw in a matching set of PJ’s and you’re good to go! A Netflix Streaming Plan is around $8 a month.

Digital Photo Frame: A digital photo frame would look so nice on his desk at work or bookshelf at home, and you could add some photos of the two of you together. It’s a great way to keep you on his mind. The price of a nice digital photo frame is around $50.

Craft Beer: Create a 6-pack just for him. Retailers like World Market allow you to mix and match unique craft beers from around the globe. Or visit your local microbrewery and pick up a few growlers in seasonal flavors. Prices vary, depending on the beer. Better yet, set him up with his own home brewing kit and make your own beer together!

Tickets: He will be filled with joy when you give him tickets to a sporting event, play, convention, or concert — especially because it is a gift he can share with you! Start planning an amazing date night now, just in time for Christmas!

Homemade Treats: Homemade treats take time, and are made with love. Besides, the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So bake up a batch of your famous brownies and you will have him melting in your hands (chocolate is an aphrodisiac after all)!

Looking for the ultimate Christmas gift? Enter our “Cutest Couple Photo Contest” and you could win a romantic getaway at Rockland Maine’s premiere luxury bed and breakfast, The Berry Manor Inn (awarded the 2015 Certificate of Excellence by Trip Advisor and named in the Top 10 Be and Breakfasts in the US by Yelp). Visit Gregg Michaelsen / Coach on Facebook for more info and to submit a photo!

The post Casual But Cool Christmas Gifts for A New Boyfriend appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

How to Know If A Guy Is Playing You

Maybe everything is perfect, or maybe your gut is telling you something is off. Either way, if a guy seems too good to be true, chances are he might just be. If you are questioning whether or not he’s for real, there’s probably a reason! It’s time to separate the men from the boys and learn how to know if a guy is playing you.

How To Know If He’s A Player

Tiffany here. Let’s start with the 3 basics and then delve in a little deeper:

Trust your instincts. They don’t call it woman’s intuition for nothing!
Be smart and keep your eyes open. Don’t be blinded by pretty words and good looks
Study his body language and learn the telltale signs of a liar

Trust Your Instincts

According to Psychology Today, women have a greater ability to pick up emotional cues than men. It’s like this innate sense, or even a super power, which has been there all along — we just need to listen and trust our intuition! I don’t care if he’s Brad Pitt and George Clooney rolled into one. If your gut is telling you something is off about him, pay attention!

Be Smart

Gregg Michaelsen tells us to beware of sharks. Don’t dip your toes in the dating pool before you heed his warning, otherwise you might get bitten! Sharks are far from authentic, and they’re easy to spot. Look for these signs:

He is dressed to impress
He is a master of conversation
He knows exactly what to say to make you swoon
He is charming and exciting
He is overly confident.

Sharks are pros! They say and do everything right because they’ve had a lot of practice! Be smart, and don’t be his next victim.

The Body Language of a Player

The face of a liar holds clues and can be a dead give-away. Watch for micro-expressions like rapid blinking, face twitching, flushed cheeks, flared nostrils, lip biting, increased swallowing, face touching, contracting of the pupils, or breaking eye contact. It may only take a split second, so watch closely!

Liars often keep their hands behind their backs or in their pockets, since fidgety fingers may give them away. Open palms mean openness, so watch his hands. His hands covering his mouth doesn’t mean he thinks he needs a breath mint either – he’s lying!

The body of a liar may be stiff with his arms and legs close to his side. Watch his movements – they may not match the story he is telling.

The “Is He a Player” Quiz

Use these tips to test your guy and find out if he’s the real deal or too good to be true. Find your opportunity and see how he stacks up.

If something comes up in a conversation that makes you go hmmmm, make him elaborate with open-ended questions. The more he talks, the bigger his story will get until he gets trapped in his web of lies.

If you’re still not sure, have him tell his story again, backwards. Just say you missed a few details. Liars tend to talk quickly, so it won’t be a stretch and players are accustomed to women clinging to their every word – this is no different. Okay so it’s a little different, but he doesn’t know that.

Ask questions, but be sure not to interrogate him during the process. The goal is to gently and subtly unnerve him and throw him off his game. Whether he’s a player or a genuinely nice guy, it will show. You just need to play your cards right.

Eventually, he will feel challenged to keep his story straight. Watch carefully to see how his confidence changes. He wants you eating out of the palm of his hand. If he begins to lose control of the conversation, his true self will show.

Now, You’re Informed

Hopefully you are no longer wondering how to know if a guy is playing you. You should now be able to spot a liar no problem — just trust your instincts, keep your eyes and ears open, and be smart, ladies!

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A Girl Walks into a Bar…How to Navigate the Bar Scene

Tiffany here. I was never a big fan of the bar scene. There were always too many people crammed into a small, smoky space and the noise made it impossible to have a decent conversation. Any time a guy would approach me, he would be shouting cheesy pick up lines and I would inevitably get squished and bumped as I struggled to keep my drink from spilling. Then, when I’d hit the dance floor, it always ended with me sandwiched between two creeps as I struggled to break free from my “Nightmare” at the Roxbury. I’m probably dating myself here by referencing a silly movie from the 90s, but back then, that was pretty much how it was. If you wanted to meet men, you suffered through the sandwich dancing, the crowds, the noise and the spilled drinks. If you were smart, you kept a fake wedding ring in your pocket for emergencies — sorry, married.

Today’s Bar Scene

Fast forward almost 20 years and boy have times changed! Sure, you’ll find the occasional rowdy dive, but for the most part, bars have grown up. They are stylish and hip with room to breathe, designed with talking and mingling in mind. But, while the atmosphere has changed for the better, guys sadly remain the same. It’s finally time to face the facts ladies. Most guys who frequent bars want one thing, and you know what it is! The worst thing of all is they know how to get it. It’s scary, really — like being in a shark tank where he’s the predator and you’re the prey. You’ve been warned.

Plenty of (Good) Fish

What’s a single girl to do? Well, there are plenty of good fish in the sea – swimming around with those sharks. Bars are a great place to meet new people, but how do you avoid the sharks and find that good guy that’s worth dating? If you’ve read any of Gregg Michaelsen’s best dating books, you have learned how to be in charge. You are a confident, quality woman who can have her pick of men so choose wisely.

Learn to identify the real men from the predators and just keep swimming! Sharks are masters of conversation. They are confident. They come right up to you and ask you a lot of questions to make you believe they are interested in you as a person. They are charming and exciting and turn your brain to mush. They do everything right — but they are not authentic. They are pros.

Navigate the Bar Scene Wisely

Think about it. A guy who is that impressive — who knows how to look and act just right — has probably had a lot of practice. On the other hand, the guy who is nervous and stumbles over his words fails to impress because he does not do this often. He’s authentic. Ditch the shark, and give this guy a chance! Talk to him for a while and see what happens. He might be perfect for you once he’s comfortable and you get to know him better.

Catching Mr. Right

Now that you know how to weed out the sharks, how do you find those good guys that are worth dating? They are out there, but they may not approach you, and they may not be immediately obvious either. Maybe they are playing pool, or sitting at the bar with their buddies, but they notice you. They are just too nervous to approach you.

If you notice a guy who catches your attention and seems authentic watching you from across the room, don’t be afraid to make contact. It could be as simple as getting up and walking past his table, or following him up to the bar. As you pass, throw in a glance and a smile. Make eye contact. Make it easy for him to approach you without fear of being humiliated. Keep this in mind – men don’t always pick up on non-verbal cues so if he’s still not catching on, don’t give up. He is interested, but he may need an extra dose of confidence. Make it easy and make the first move. Approach him and strike up a conversation. If you’re not comfortable with that, just wave him over! Chances are, with encouragement from you, he will come.

Now that you know how to tell the good guys from the bad, you should be able to navigate the bar scene. Beat it sharks — it’s only smooth sailing from here in the dating pool!

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