Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 15

How to Stop Attracting Losers into Your Life

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How to Stop Attracting Losers into Your Life

One of the most popular blog posts on this site is 5 Tell-Tale Signs You’re Being Used by a Man. Sadly, I’m not surprised by this. There are men, and women, out there whose sole purpose in life is to see how many people they can pick up – and subsequently dump. Why dump? Because they aren’t in this for a relationship. It’s all about the quest.

Oh, sure, some do think they’re in it to find a relationship. That’s why I have two categories for these types of men – losers and users. The users are what many call players and they are just in it for the sport of picking up women. Losers genuinely think they want a relationship but for one reason or another, are incapable of truly committing.

Why are you attracting these men into your life?
You Attract People Similar to Yourself

This goes against the old cliché, opposites attract. A confident, happy man will seek out a happy, confident woman. An unhappy man with low self-esteem and low confidence will seek out a similar woman. A confident man will never purposefully seek out a woman with low self-esteem and confidence. People don’t want to be around others who bring them down.

Your Body Language Screams Date Me (to a low-Confidence Man)

How can a man tell you’ve got low confidence? It’s in how you dress. Your clothing probably is not flattering to your body. You may feel self-conscious about that little bit of belly you have from becoming a mom so you wear baggy clothing. It might be in how you walk. Do you keep your head up, smiling at others when they walk by or do you spend your time looking at the floor? Do you take time to make your hair look like you care? Are your shoulders slouched or do you walk tall? All of this, plus how you act, tell a guy all about your self-confidence without him even saying a word to you.

You Don’t Have Boundaries

If you do meet a loser or a user, you will allow him to walk all over you. You will probably cave to his desire to have sex with you way too soon in the relationship. You completely cave to anything he wants without any regard for your own values.

You drop Everything when He Calls

Mr. Supposedly Wonderful calls and asks you out for a date that night. You’ve got plans but you drop them in an instant to be with him. Let me tell you something. If Mr. Supposedly Wonderful is calling you at the last minute, he either had other plans that got cancelled and he’s looking for a last-minute hookup or he doesn’t value you or your time and assumes you’re always available to him.

How do You STOP Attracting Losers?
Take a Dating Break

If you feel like the only guys you attract are losers and users, it’s time for a dating break. You’re just on a hamster wheel of dating right now where you date a loser, get dumped and find another. You’re frustrated and stuck on an endless cycle of dating the wrong men. It’s time to re-evaluate and recharge.

Get Your Confidence Back Up

Life beats us down. Dating loser after loser beats us down further. You begin to feel like a failure. Many women I coach tell me they feel a high level of confidence professionally but low confidence when it comes to dating. This is due to all of the negative experiences you’ve had and the verbal or mental abuse you’ve received from these losers throughout the years.

I have a great tool for you to build your confidence back up! Comfortable in Your Own Shoes is my confidence book for women. It’s written just for you to help you dig out of the rut of negativity you’ve got in your life.

Decide What Type of Guy You REALLY Want

Rather than accepting every date request that comes along, be discerning. Choose men carefully. It’s okay to date a guy once or twice to figure out what kind of man he is but this doesn’t mean you’ve committed to a relationship.

Women get frustrated when men flake after a couple of dates but what is happening is that the man simply decides he’s not interested. Since you’re not in a relationship yet, he doesn’t feel he owes you anything, including an explanation. You are free to do the same.

Don’t Get Invested too Fast

Women tend to go all-in when they meet a man. One date where you feel chemistry and you’re buying copies of The Knot and looking for a wedding dress. Slow down and get to know him. This means no sex for a while. A player will want one thing out of you – sex. While all men want to have sex with the women they date, they do value you more if you make them wait and earn it. Only you know how long is long enough, but I can tell you it’s not in the first 10 dates. It takes this long to truly figure out whether this is a man who is worthy of you allowing sex.

Slow things down

Look at dating not as steps to the altar but as a process to learn more about a man. Likewise, don’t share your entire life’s story in 3 minutes or less. Reveal new things about yourself each time you get together. This keeps things interesting and exciting.

Become the Person You Want to Attract

If you want a man who values community, get involved in your community. P.S. this is probably where you’ll also meet him! If you want a man who’s into animal rights, get involved in that. If you want someone who is compassionate, be compassionate. Remember, earlier I said like attracts like. You need to become the man you want to date – except prettier and better-smelling!

Wrapping Up

If you’re reading this article, you needed the advice. While it’s difficult to look at ourselves in the mirror and examine what might be wrong with our approach, that’s what needs to be done. In order to improve your dating life, you need to take an honest look at what you’re doing to attract these losers. What positive changes do you need to make in your life in order to attract winners?

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How to Build Attraction with Text Towards a Guy You Like

How to build attraction with text

Destroy Boredom, Shatter All Things Conventional!

You: So, what’s going on with you these days?

Him: Not a lot. Just working, going to school.

I’m going to stop here. I could make that a long text conversation, but I felt repulsed by where it was going. You do know where it’s going right? To the relationship graveyard! It’s going nowhere. There’s nothing in that first comment that did anything to build mystery, challenge or attraction into the relationship.

There are two huge mistakes in this short conversation. First, mystery and challenge are simply not created by asking general questions. How was your day? What are you doing right now? What’s the weather like? These types of statements are not attraction makers, they’re attraction killers.

Your goal, when texting a man, is to keep things fun and fresh by using some of the techniques we’re discussing. You can’t do anything fun or fresh with “What are you doing right now?” If a man even bothers to answer this, it’s a cursory response and he rolled his eyes as he was typing. In other words, he responded to be nice, not because he’s actually interested in the conversation.

The second problem with this exchange is that nobody wants to answer a question like that in a text. Even if you have the most easy-to-use handheld on the planet, you’re going to get sick of typing out a response the size of Moby Dick pretty quickly. Keep it simple and stick with precise questions that he can answer without too much trouble.

You want short, fun and challenging interactions. You want to be bold, quirky, funny and direct! Forget the boring stuff and show him your flirty side. You have tons of time to figure out a response, so relax and wait for it to come to you!

You: How was traffic into Boston this morning? Still woozy from the CO2 fumes?

Him: Haha! Yep. Sucked in fumes for 2 hours.

There we go! This text is focused and you added in a bit of cheekiness as well.

Stick with the Mysterious, Avoid the Vague!

When it comes to men and relationships, mysterious is always good. The more you can make him wonder what you’re doing, the better. Mystery is invoked by staying partly aloof. You want him to think you’re busy doing lots of fun things, or maybe seeing other interesting people!

Him: What are we doing this weekend darling?

You: Dance class on Friday night. Wine tasting with Jennifer Sat. Crazy busy! Maybe Sunday, I’ll let you know.

Do you see what happened? This text creates mystery by avoiding some boring comment like “Not sure, what are you doing?” You’re obviously busy, and by the sound of it you’re meeting people who are not him at your dance class. Trust me, he’s going to see you as a serious challenge, adding to the attraction.

Responses like these, however, are completely unacceptable:

“Waiting to hear from you.”

“I’m up for anything, what do you want to do?”

“Kind of tired, long week. What’s up?”

Similarly, keep ugly vague words out of your texts. Maybe, kind of, perhaps, sort of – they’re all too vague! Stick to language that’s alive and bold, and you’ll become a master at texting in no time.

Try these two tips to build attraction with text to a guy you like and get results!

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Texting Pros and Cons for Women

Below are my top texting pros and cons for women. Texting is how the masses are communicating today. Many of my readers are just getting back into the dating world and they are intimidated texting with a new guy they just met and really like!

Pros:

Texting does not require you to be fast on your feet with responses – wittiness can come because you have time to respond, whereas face-to-face, you are left with a dry conversation if the wit doesn’t come
Nervousness doesn’t come through in a text, so sweaty palms, shaky hands, a quivering voice can go unnoticed when you type out a message
When you practice ‘texting similarity’ with a guy, he perceives you as being in sync and your relationship is more harmonious
You can be flirtatious in between dates, keeping things a little hot
A quick “I love you” or “Just thinking about you” text during the day can remind someone you care about them
Texting can be a quick response if you cannot talk to someone at that moment but want them to know you’re aware they’re trying to contact you
When you’re separated by distance, texting can be an inexpensive and quick way to stay in touch
Women use texting to apologize, work out problems or bring up issues to be dealt with later

Cons:

You might find yourself in relationship texting maintenance mode – the more texts sent, the more that are expected
You cannot decipher the mood of the text, misunderstandings occur easily
Texting can replace face-to-face contact if it is more comfortable, leading to a lack of true time spent together
Heavy texting is associated with both men and women feeling dissatisfied with their relationship
You can find chemistry in texting that then does not exist in person
It is easy to over analyze both the texts you send and those you receive – putting more than necessary weight on the placement or use of exclamation points, capital letters, etc.
You don’t have the advantage of the use of body language to accentuate your message
Your own texting behavior can place labels on you – you’re too needy, you’re too quick or slow to respond, you can’t spell, your language skills are lacking, etc.
You can get caught up in an endless cycle wondering when it will end and who will finally end it
You can stay at a level of casualness in a relationship where it neither declines or advances but just remains status quo
Relationships which rely heavily on texting can be easier to end quickly because there is a lack of intimacy you would only gain spending time together in person
Overuse of technology is leading people to be unable to express emotions in person – they don’t know how because they spend all of their time in emotionless texts and emails versus one-on-one communications where you can see the outcome of what you say or do to someone
Men use texting to distance themselves in a relationship or disengage from deeper intimacy
Texting is a written form of communication which can be recalled later, including in legal battles
Texting is not a good way to deepen a relationship – that requires face-to-face time where intimacy can be built
Too much texting can make you look needy or clingy – stalkerish even
Texts can be edited and therefore can be modified from the original thought – whereas a phone call is out there – you can’t take your words back – so texts can be ‘false’ messages, not true from the heart
You don’t get to know the ‘real’ person, but the version of themselves that they want to send via text – i.e. they can be funnier, seem more relaxed than they are in person

At the core of every amazing relationship (and every great text!) is a conversation built out of challenging the other person. In your case, the guy you like.

That demands a bit of an explanation. To get this explanation, and get tons of examples, get my #1 best selling book called Power Texting Men today!

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Surviving a Breakup in Your 40s

I wanted to write a piece to help a lot of my readers. I chose the age of 40 because I wanted to make it clear that this article is for women who need help surviving a breakup of a long-term relationship.

All breakups hurt, but when you have been a part of a duo for decades it can be especially painful. The years when you took care of yourself are most likely distant memories. You gave and gave and gave.

And now you are alone.

Who do I turn to? What do I do right now? Where is any glimmer of hope?

Let me be your glimmer of hope. I have a few unorthodox ideas.

Ball your eyes out

I’m not kidding. Ball your friggin’ eyes out until you are out of tears. But I want you to do this with one catch: Set a specific time limit on this. Three days or one week, I don’t care, but no longer.

Stop and consider

In between crying you will have sudden points when you stop and act completely normal like nothing ever happened. Your mind is taking a break and not letting you think about him – kind of a self-defensive mechanism.

During one of these timeouts I want you to feel your pain and decide that it is beautiful. That what you are experiencing is a part of love – it’s just the opposite swing of the pendulum. Don’t fight it, embrace it and tell yourself you loved like only a human can and that you are better for it. Realize that the people who really should be crying are the ones that never loved. You did.

And then smile.

Write the letter

Tell him everything. What you loved about him, what you hated, the great times you remember and the shit that you couldn’t stand about him. Add anything else you want to say. Get angry. Yell and scream. Then cry again if you must.

Burn the letter

You didn’t think I was going to have you send it did you? No. This letter isn’t telling him you forgive it’s giving you permission to move on. Do it and feel the finality as you watch the letter burn.

Make a decision

While the letter is still smoldering, tell yourself there is a new and exciting life waiting and ready for you. And that you will love again soon. Tell yourself that it starts tomorrow.

In the morning

Exercise hard. This isn’t about slimming down, it’s about the chemicals that are released into your body that will make you feel stronger and more positive. You need these and they are easy to get by working out hard.

Connect with nature

Don’t ask why, just do it! Go snowshoeing, walk on a beach or get lost on some wonderful hiking trail. Nature cures. Google the why if you need to, I don’t care, but get out there and let your senses take it all in like you have never experienced before. Nature is Gods natural drug – get addicted!

Gather your entourage

This would be your closest friends and family members. Tell then you need them to keep you busy and upbeat. They will know what to do. Stay at their house for a few nights. Go out to eat. Shop. Buy yourself something. Encourage them to take on a new hobby with you. Be alone as little as possible.

Book a vacation

Do it now. You are feeling better and you won’t sulk in Cozumel while skinny dipping!

Embrace the change

Change your life. Change your daily coffee watering hole. Start creating your new and vibrant social life. Change your dress and change your hair – heck why not! Today is the day you get mad and break out. Your ex is dead to you and now you have entered the “You know, I can do a whole lot better than him” stage.

Contact me

You didn’t expect that one, did you? I am a dating and life coach who knows all about reversing the crappy thoughts that your conscious mind is feeding you subconscious. I talk to my readers. Go read my reviews on Amazon.

Surviving a Breakup in Your 40s just got a whole lot easier!

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2 Ways to Get Over Your Breakup Fast

When you get dumped or you dump him, you need a plan. A plan to get over your breakup fast!

#1: Establish Your Chick Retreat

Every guy has, or at least tries to have, his own Man Cave. We all get a chuckle out of this place, but the truth is this is a more powerful place than you may have imagined. The Man Cave is where a guy can be himself and have his fun – without you.

You, my dear, need a chick retreat! This setting will help you get over your breakup fast. You are welcome to call it something different. Your Chick Retreat is where you go to feel safe and calm. Much like the Man Cave, this is a place all yours. No Men Allowed! No negative thoughts about your ex are allowed in the Chick Retreat. Here, only good things take place. This is where healing and positive attitude advancement happens. This is where you re-set.

This retreat can exist in multiple places, but your main retreat should be in or very near your home. It should be somewhere close enough to go to in a pinch. Mine is in my indoor hot tub room because I live in the city. When I lived in the country, it was in my backyard, on top of a large boulder. Secondary spots can work too, like a friend’s house or even a table with your local masseuse.

Regardless of where it is, set it up. When I enter my hot tub room, I dim the lights, close the door, and settle into the tub. I take multiple deep breaths and play new age music in the background. This is my decompress mode. I clear my mind and meditate. Once I hear the slam of the door, there is a clear change inside me. I am relaxed. Nothing, I mean nothing, toxic comes through that door.

Yes, my mind wants to wander and think about what is bothering me, and there is always plenty, but I pull back into my zone. After ten to thirty minutes, I come out and relax in my chair, located in the same room. Sometimes at this point, I might brainstorm ideas for future books or I might just have a glass of wine and day dream.

Other times, I have friends over and we crank tunes and smoke cigars. This is your room, there are no rules except one – it is always a special and happy place. The power of your chick retreat is an incredible way to get over your breakup fast and until you set one up under these pretenses, you won’t what I’m talking about. It’s a powerful, and even spiritual place for you to advance your thinking. Life changes occur in this special retreat.

#2: You’re More Beautiful than You Think! Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

Here is my second way for you to get over your breakup fast.

I read a lot of crap every day and I’m sure you do too, but somedays, I come across something which makes a lasting impact on me and I feel the need to share it with you. This is one of those things!

I’m talking about a YouTube video that came out years ago and has over 66 million views! I saw it last year for the first time when it was brought to my attention. Since then, I have sent it to hundreds of my readers who couldn’t find the strength to get over their breakups. I base some of my coaching principles around this special video.

Before I disclose this video, I need to preface it by talking about the evil voices most of us have in our heads at one time or another, especially after a breakup. The more stories I hear from the women I coach, the more I’m convinced there is an evil person in the room…and his or her name is you!

I’m talking about the one person who constantly harasses you – YOU! Every day, people are subjected to a constant onslaught of internal insults – stuff like “I’m not good enough”, or “I will never survive this breakup” or “he will never love me.”

Is this the voice inside of you? Do you say these things without even being aware of it? This evil person lies within, and you may not be able to control her without intervention.

Most people will go to their grave with this insulting person. Stop this evil voice today – start right now! Negative Nelly is slowly killing you, and when I say killing you I mean killing you! She will affect your health, your relationships, your career and everything else important to you. Kill her off and displace her with a new, positive voice, then watch the heavens open.

“But Gregg…how do I get rid of this voice? It sounds hard!”

You get rid of Negative Nelly with affirmations, and believe me, they work! You’ve heard of them and probably even made fun of them, but has anyone taught you how to do affirmations and why they work? Have you talked to someone who has broken through, changed their bad habit and accomplished great things?

No? Well, now you have! Every day I do them, and every day you can find me strongly urging one of my readers to use them. I too once thought this was hocus pocus nonsense. When my mentor started teaching me, I laughed. I’d look in the mirror and tell myself “I love you”, but I didn’t believe it.

The truth is, I hated myself and nobody was going to take that away from me. I was wrong. My mentor was persistent! He didn’t give up until I promised I would commit to saying my affirmations until I believed them. This, studies say, takes most people 66 days, on average. I did it in 35.

Life changing? Yes. Easy? Easier than I ever thought possible. The bottom line is this: most people are their own worst enemy. In this video, the most phenomenal video I’ve ever seen, you will see a powerful example of just what we’ve been talking about.

“Where’s the friggin’ video, Gregg?!” I thought you would never ask! Watch the video now click HERE

Take these 2 tips and use them. They will help you get over your breakup fast I promise! Oh, and if you need tests to find out if you dating a loser and need to break up click here: Am I Dating a Loser?

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3 Tips to Find a Man of Your Dreams

Happy Groundhog Day!

Groundhog Day got me thinking how sometimes women act like groundhogs when they are trying to find a man of their dreams.

How can I be so insulting you ask? Well, for instance, we only hear about groundhogs once a year when they pop their heads out to see if anyone sees their shadow or not.  I see many women doing the same thing.

You can’t find a man of your dreams if you only pop your head out once a year! In other words you need to pop out often so you make opportunities for yourself to find a man of your dreams.

Yeah, yeah, you tell me you just can’t find him and yet when I ask how many hours the past week you dedicated yourself to trying I get, “Ah, well, I popped my head out to go grocery shopping and saw a cute guy does that count?”

No, because you went out to get Cheerios and not to find a man of your dreams.

Finding a man of your dreams needs to be treated like a job. A fun job!

Here are my top 3 tips:

Take advantage of all the opportunities life gives you.

If you see a cute guy getting in the elevator, get in the elevator and follow him to his floor! Have a line ready to go. “I’m lost can you help me find the cafeteria?” “and are you hungry?” If you are at a local fair and you see a couple of guys eating cotton candy – go eat cotton candy!

Mix up your routine

I bet most of your days are like the movie Groundhog Day. I bet you drive through the same coffee joint and you eat at the same place for lunch and you work out at the same gym at the same time. I get it. People get into habits. Break the habit and change your routine so you get new exposure to different people. Go to a different Starbucks. Go inside if you normally do drive throughs. Quit your gym and join a different gym or go to your gym at different hours.

Study comedy

This is a weird yet great tip that I would use to meet women in my earlier years and now I still use it to meet new people. Train yourself to be  funny by watching comedians. Watch them on YouTube. Yes, you can make yourself a funnier person that people will love. Men are attracted  to women that are funny! Study how the pros get people to laugh with their lines and delivery and come up with your own personal style. You can be a funny, adorable, groundhog!

Furthermore, knowing that you can make a guy laugh will bring you the confidence to jump on that elevator, so you can ask him to lunch.

Are you getting my point?

I have about 20 or so set lines in my “get them to laugh arsenal” that always work. I just need to place myself in the situation or set up the situation to make use of them.

For example, I love to eat rare steak.  I have a place near Delray Beach Florida where it’s totally normal to eat alone at an outside bar. Lots of people eat alone. I make it a point to sit down next to a person I want to meet. Then, when my steak arrives I poke the thing with my fork and I say out loud, “A skilled veterinarian could bring this back to life!”

Everyone who has ever heard this has laughed profusely. If a woman said that to me I would love to talk to her. Try it!

So you see you are no match for a groundhog when it comes to finding the man of your dreams so pop out of your apartment/condo/house more often so us guys can see your shadow!

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He’s Gone Now What? How to Get Over a Breakup

How to get over a breakup just got a whole lot easier! Breakups are terrible, and they do their own kind of damage on your confidence and self-esteem. In most of my books, I am trying to help you learn how to attract or keep a man and confidence always plays a role in that process but you’re in a different place.

Your knee-jerk reaction might be to get right back out there and find another guy but I am going to ask you to hold off on that process for a while – at least until you read this book!

Why?

I know. Your friends and family are telling you to get back on the horse – not to be afraid – to forget that jerk and find a great guy. I agree with all of that, but I don’t agree with the timing. So much is going on in your mind and body right now that processing a new relationship would not end well.

Before you can get back out there, you need to process the breakup. There are many things going on in your mind and body right now that you need to address. As we are about to discover, both your mind and your body are impacted by a breakup in ways you can’t even imagine. Those effects are causing you to react to things in certain, sometimes counterproductive ways.

I’ll bet you didn’t know that there are scientifically proven physiological responses to a breakup. Not only does your body react to a breakup, but it does so in a big way. Science (Helen Fisher) tells us that your body goes through a legitimate withdrawal process after a breakup.

When you are happy and in love, you are producing higher than normal amounts of what we can call happy neurotransmitters: dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin. The research I just mentioned, conducted by my friend, Helen Fisher, indicates that recovering from this withdrawal is more difficult than withdrawal from a cocaine addiction – those chemicals are that powerful in your body.

When you suffer withdrawal from these chemicals, you feel physical pain more intensely and you may seek out activities which boost your dopamine levels, like binge eating, shopping or becoming sexually promiscuous. Without knowing why you’re doing those things, you still may engage in them because they make you feel better, even if temporarily.

Instead of binge eating, you could lose your appetite, which could indicate that you’ve slid into a depression. You may also have many restless or sleepless nights. This often happens when you’re fixating on the happy moments of the relationship or the breakup itself.

My next book called He’s Gone Now What? How to Get Over a Breakup is split into three phases. Phase 1 explains to you everything that’s going on in your mind and body and helps you understand the strategies you need to counter these things. Phase 2 takes you through the process of healing from the breakup. You’ll find strategies for proceeding through your pain into a healthier, more independent and ready for a relationship you. In Phase 3, you’re going to examine some new methods for finding Mr. Right. What you’ve done so far hasn’t worked out so well, so we want to be sure, throughout this process, that we uncover why that is and learn some new tools which will work for you.

Look for He’s Gone Now What? How to Get Over a Breakup in February.

As always if you have questions or thoughts on what you would like addressed in this book, please leave a comment below or email me at Gregg@WhoHoldsTheCardsNow.com and I will get it inside the book!

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Welcome in the New Year, Friends!

How will you welcome in the New Year? Will you do the same thing that didn’t work last year? That makes you insane I believe.

You’ve heard the definition or insanity right? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

So will you continue choosing and dating the wrong type of men? Will you take in strays that belong left outside? Will you let men decide your happiness?

Or will you welcome in the new year by saying enough is enough!

I think it’s time for you. Yes you. I’ve got 2 types of readers – the ones that do the work and the ones that read the work but don’t do anything different. Which will you be this year?

Stop the insanity!

Get to the gym. No, not for 1 month, for good!
Eat right. No, not for 1 month, forever!
Brainstorm new hobbies and join 1 or 2
De-clutter your life by getting rid of the people that bring you down!
De-clutter your home of the material things you never use
Get out into nature – there is nothing more calming and healing

These are the just the basics. Look at your job and your career. Is it time for a change?

I make myself feel better, so easily, by changing my routine. Human nature gravitates towards routine. I say fight it! I sit on my ass writing in my chair. It ain’t happening today! As I write I am at my local Starbucks doing my emails and writing my blogposts. It’s different. The smells, the ambiance, and the people elevate my senses and give me new ideas.

For lunch, I am headed to Panera. Tonight, my work out videos change to dance moves. Heck, I might buy a shelter cat by weeks end!

This isn’t rocket science. I am not telling you anything new. I know that. But if only 1 person decides to listen to me, they will be rewarded for the rest of their life and I will be too if they tell me J

You have spoken and I am writing. How to handle a breakup is my next book on deck. Then, a new texting book designed for the older crowd will follow. Exciting stuff!

Oh and thank you for making Night Moves a best seller!

Happy New Year,

Gregg

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Thanks for Reading!

I write a lot of books and I answer a ton of questions. I thank some of you individually for reading my books and asking me questions. I try my best to make myself available to everyone. There is nothing worse than “feeling like a number” or feeling like someone is trying to take your money.

But I have never said thank you in a blog.

Thank you everyone!!!

I wake up in the morning, make my coffee, irritate my VA, and open my emails…and I get lots of emails! Some are happy emails, some sad emails, I get desperate emails, and I even get emails from people that are literally on the edge.

I answer them all!

I even answer emails (when I’m not supposed to) from women that are severely depressed. I do because I know that I can help. I also realize that I might be her only friend at the time.

If a woman can’t afford a book, I know she needs, I give it to her for free. I realize that it can potentially help her with her problem.

I love every minute of it.

Why?

There is simply no better feeling in the world than when one of you tell me that I changed your life for the better!

It makes it all worth it.

So for 2018 I say bring it on! Keep emailing me so I can keep writing and answering the personal questions that you want answered. Tell me when I’m spot on and correct me when I’m missing the point – it’s all good and its how I get better.

Remember, I learn as much from you as you learn from me and that’s what makes our relationship so awesome!

Let’s all start with a new affirmation for 2018 – “I am worthy of love.” I will say it every day and it would be great if you said it too.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and God bless you!!

Gregg

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Throw The Stick!

Male Behaviors are not as complex as women think

Yesterday, I had a reader ask me why men want what they can’t have. She asked me why I was telling her to stop the pursuit so her man would chase.

Let’s dig into male behaviors in relationships.

Chase lives in all men…it’s ingrained in our DNA. If you throw a stick for a dog he will go after it – he can’t help himself. If you have a lot to offer – you are his favorite “stick.”

In keeping with my analogy, the stick represents challenge and mystery. You are throwing challenge and mystery to the guy you desire. You can’t do this if you are constantly chasing him. He gets confused just as a dog would if you chased his stick.

When you are not available to him, he wonders where you are and what you are doing. He wonders why you are not interested in him. He starts thinking you have more important things in your life and he realizes that he must try harder if he is to see you.

Challenge and Mystery have been created. You have thrown him his stick!

Having a vibrant social life with a ton of things to do makes you mysterious to him and all these activities make you interesting by default. The fact that he can’t wave his magic smile and land you forces challenge upon him.

You can’t fake this and why would you want to?

Now, when he calls you last minute, you have a reason to say no. He subsequently realizes your time is important to you and he had better step up his game or he will be toast. The players won’t make the effort because they have easier prey to conquer so they stop pursuing you. This is GOOD! You now have the perfect self-defense mechanism against assholes.

See how this works?

It’s so simple it’s almost ridiculous and yet I spend countless hours trying to convince women that the key to getting any quality guy they want, without any games, lies right in front of them!

Pursue the hobbies you love so you enjoy life and watch how your confidence grows, your social life expands, and you become the favorite stick of every guy that meets you!!

Throw the stick!

And watch the magic happen:)

I can go on and on about male behaviors. It would behoove you to find out more in my book 10 Secrets You Need to Know About Men!

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