Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 13

How to Make a Guy Realize He’s Losing You

The Chase is On!

Sometimes, you need to know how to make a guy realize he’s losing you. Men can go rogue after the excitement fades. In other words, he starts taking you for granted. You give and he starts withdrawing. So, you give more, and he starts withdrawing more.

What’s the solution?

Put in as much effort into him as he does towards you!

This man needs to see signs that he might lose you so his chase DNA kicks back in and he starts to pursue again. Bring back the challenge and mystery.

How to Make a Guy Realize He’s Losing You | Tip #1: Resurrect Your Social Life Outside of His

Resurrect your social life!

This one is simple and its fun! Time to start spending a few Friday and Saturday nights with your friends and not your man. This instantly gets his attention and gets him thinking, “hmm, why doesn’t she want to be with me tonight?”

This is a positive development.

Oh, he might be excited for the first few nights to be able to join his friends, but that excitement will quickly turn to worry if he loves you.

How to Make a Guy Realize He is Losing You | Tip #2: Change Your Look

Change your look!

Another fun one. He has you labeled you. He thinks he knows everything about you. Time to strip that label and show him that you are very capable of change.

And if you can change your hair length, daily routine and clothes – then he will damn well think that you can change the guy you’re dating!

How to Make Him Chase You | Tip #3: Change it Up in the Bedroom

As soon as you rock his world with something new under the sheets (or in the elevator), his mind will think: “Where did she learn this move – from another guy?”

Boom! His days of taking you for granted will be over.

How to Make a Guy Realize He is Losing You | Tip #4: Change your Emotions

Remember how you snapped when he wanted to go out with the guys last Saturday night? This time smile and let him go. In fact, encourage him!

Don’t be sarcastic. Be nice. Just make sure he knows that you will be spending your night out too – looking hot with your girlfriends.

Really mess him with him by laying out his clothes for his upcoming night out!

How to Make Him Chase You Again | Tip #5: Prioritize You

Prioritize You and a little less him

Remember when he got DUI and you drove him everywhere for three months? How about the time when he was so sick that he could barely make it to the frig and you stayed with him for three days straight?

He has become accustomed to you caring about his needs over yours.

Yep, time to pull that plug too.

Book a trip for yourself. Say no to his petty needs a few times. Tell him that you would love to, but you and your friend Cheryl are dying to ride that Six Flags roller coaster this weekend.

How to Make a Guy Realize He is Losing You | Tip #6: Flirt

Be careful with this one. Guy’s are highly competitive and another man in his space rubs his fur the wrong way.

When you’re at a restaurant lock eyes with the hot waiter. Talk a little bit longer than you might normally with a stranger.

Your guy will quickly realize that he has become less of a priority in your life.

How to Make a Guy Realize He is Losing You | Tip #7: Kill it at the Gym

Did you that one of the first signs of an affair (or thoughts of leaving) is when one partner starts caring about his or her body again?

Kill it at the gym!

Hit the gym! Kill off those extra pounds and eat healthy while he is stuffing his face with the usual fried foods.

Watch as his “I will take you granted” grin fades off his face!

How to Make Him Worry about Losing You | Tip #8: Texting

You know how you respond in seconds after he texts you? You guessed it – stop!

Delay your responses a bit!

Respond an hour or two later. Make him sweat like he does to you. Again, the key is to stay nice and hold back your emotions when he gets irritated at your delay.

“I’m sorry, babe, I was doing crunches and I didn’t want to be interrupted.”

Or

“I was ordering drinks and I forgot to get back to you – won’t happen again.”

Then, do it again if his poor attitude doesn’t change.

How to Make a Guy Realize He’s Losing You | Conclusion

Don’t overdue these tips. Gauge his reactions and adjust your actions accordingly. Your man is like a dog – once he is trained to dig you again, you can back off and treat him like nothing ever happened.

Women will tell me that they don’t want to play games. I tell them to do it their way if they don’t like what they read.

They get back to me, single, and buy all my books!

Like it or not, guys have certain DNA traits built into them.  Yes, some of these traits suck and I wish we didn’t, but we do!  Play the game and win. If you do – the game will get played less and less.

The sheer fact that he knows what you are capable of will keep his ass in line!

The post How to Make a Guy Realize He’s Losing You appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

3 Powerful Texts to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Texts to Get Your Ex Back

Before I give you 3 powerful texts to get your ex-boyfriend back, let’s set the stage.

In my best-seller, How to Get Your Ex Back Fast, you learn how to send a powerful letter to your ex, wait a few days and then send a slip-in/slip-out text. These 3 powerful texts to get your ex-boyfriend back are written to fit right into that scene.

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Text #1: The “I’m Moving On” Text

You want to send this text about four or five days after he receives your good-bye letter.

You’re Moving On!

If you’ve already read the book, you know that your goal is to get your ex-boyfriend back indirectly, through things like the letter and breaking the no-contact rule, as you’re about to do!

Your friends, and your gut, are telling you that you should be texting him all of your angry emotions, making sure he knows every. single. thing. he’s done wrong, but I am here to tell you that won’t work.

IF he reads a text like that, he will roll his eyes and go back to what he was doing. He will also probably ignore your future communications.

This is not what you want him to do!

Instead of whining, begging and blaming, you are saying, “Okay buddy. You wanna break up? I’m good with that.” You’ve begun this process by sending him the good-bye letter.

Now, we’re delivering a second gut punch with this text.

Toy with the male psyche!

He will be confused and intrigued.

Remember, this breakup was his idea. He wanted his freedom or an ex or some other intangible he thought he would gain by setting you aside.

He was sure you would sit there, crying into your big bowl of ice cream, waiting for him to grace you with his presence in your life again.

Your letter and these texts tell him otherwise!

By the time you’re done with him, he will no longer be thinking of you as his fall-back girl. He will be hoping like heck you’re still available and that you still want to date him!

The messages he receives from you don’t say, “I’m angry, bitter and binge-eating”.

They say, “I’m moving on, pal”.

He will begin to question whether or not breaking up with you was such a good idea after all.

The Moving On Text:

“Hey Jeff. I’m going surfing next month and I need my board. Please stick it on the porch so I can grab it. Thanks!”

This text works because you’ve now got him wondering who you’re going surfing with. Is it another guy?

“But that was our thing!” is running through his head, along with “Why isn’t she all torn and sad about me leaving her?”

The language of that text is important.

You are telling him you are picking up your board. You’re not asking.

This is the behavior of a confident woman who knows what she wants!

The behavior of a low-confidence woman goes more like this:

“Please! I miss you!!! Maybe we can grab a drink soon??”

The text also doesn’t set a day or time. You’re not giving him the opportunity to ‘happen to be home’ when you stop by. In other words, you’re saying “I’ll come get it when I feel like it, and I’m not coming to see you!”

To use this text, all you need to do is fit a favorite activity from your relationship into the text.

“Hi Joe! What was the name of that apple orchard we visited last year? I’m going in a couple weeks and I can’t remember”

“What was the name of that hotel in Aruba? I am getting ready to plan another trip there and I can’t seem to recall”

These texts all accomplish the same thing – a swift punch in the gut.

Texts to Get your Ex Boyfriend Back Text #2: The “Remember” Text

You’ll want to save this text for a little later in your breakup.

The “Remember When” Text!

This comes after you’ve sent the good-bye letter and the slip-in/slip-out text from above.

You’ve allowed two or three weeks to go by and he has not contacted you, or he’s been less than excited to talk or reconcile.

For this text, you’re going to leverage something very powerful – positive memories. I like to call these pennies in the jar. If you loved one another and did things together, there are probably quite a few pennies in your jar!

Pennies come from vacations you took together or small outings, like trips to the orchard, pumpkin farm or to cut down a Christmas tree.

They come from great date-nights or weekend getaways. They can even come from a trip to the home improvement store to choose paint for the kitchen if you had fun doing it.

This text is meant to give him a jolt of endorphins by reminding him of one of those great things you did together.

“Gregg! It’s apple season again! I stopped by Lind’s Farm yesterday and picked up some cider for my Mom. It brought a smile to my face and a laugh!”

This works because the timing is spot on!

Two or three weeks out is the perfect time to send this text. He’s had enough time to miss you but you haven’t been so far out of his thoughts that he’s forgotten about you yet.

He’s had some time to be single and test out those greener pastures. The reality he is facing is that those greener pastures are full of piles of…well you know.

If he is a player, he wants to remain single but you’re a confident woman who doesn’t date players and you certainly wouldn’t chase one back into your life!

This text puts a pit in his stomach!

Tossing one of those shiny pennies back at him at this point in the breakup hits him hard. He’s been thinking about you and you just hit him, out of the blue, with one of your treasured memories together.

Job well done!

Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Text #3: The “Help Me” Text

This is a text you use later, perhaps as long as three months after your breakup. Don’t worry, it will still work!

He will want to help you still!

One key to understanding men is to realize that the thing we like to do most is to fix stuff. In fact, we like to fix things in other people’s lives better than we like to fix them in our own lives!

It’s one of the ways a man shows you he loves you, in fact.

Knowing this, it’s easy to understand why fixing something for you will be an intriguing idea for him. In fact, it will have him rethinking the idea of breaking up with you in the first place! POWERFUL!

This is something your ex knows he can do right. He might be thinking he’s screwed up everything else in your relationship, but if he’s able to do what you ask, he’s willing and ready!

“Justin, Long time, huh? Question. I’m trying to hook up a new printer and I have no clue how to connect my laptop with the router thing. You are good with this kinda’ thing. Can I call you with a few questions?”

This text works because he may be feeling guilty about how things have gone. He feels guilty for breaking up.

Asking him to help you with something gives him the chance to ‘fix things’.

If he can fix whatever you ask him to, he most likely will.

This can be the opening he needs to warm to the idea of reconciling.

This type of text creates challenge.

Not in what you said, but in what you didn’t say.

You didn’t say “Oh Justin, I miss you so much!”

You didn’t say, “Hey Justin, let’s get together”

You didn’t say, “Can you come over and fix it for me?”

You just asked him for the information on how you could fix it and you move on.

Conclusion: Texts to Get your Ex Boyfriend Back

Timing is everything! Your good-bye letter was timed just right.

Try these powerful texts!

Your slip-in/slip-out text was timed just a few days later.

The other texts are also timed out, just right.

In between the messages you’re sending your ex, you’re working on yourself. You’re looking at what happened in the relationship through true lenses and rebuilding your confidence.

Without making positive changes in your life, any reconciliation will end with the same result – another breakup. That’s not what you want!

You have what you need to get started! 3 powerful texts to get your ex-boyfriend back! Right here in black and white!

To download my great “How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back” Infographic, click here.

The post 3 Powerful Texts to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him

“I Can’t Stop Thinking About Him”

Whether you’re obsessing about a great guy you saw at the bar last week or your ex, who you dated for three years, it doesn’t much matter. The end result is the same – you can’t stop thinking about him.

“Dam, I can’t stop thinking about him!”

As annoying as this can be, there are some psychological and physical reasons for this guy to be stuck in your head.

As with much of what goes on in your life, it’s in large part, a matter of recognizing what’s going on in your mind and body to help you begin to work through the problem.

Along with obsessing usually comes compulsive behaviors.

If your mind is stuck on your ex, you may be engaging in compulsive behaviors such as texting him non-stop with whatever ramblings are running through your mind or trying to apologize and woo him back.

These compulsive behaviors may seem to be out of your control, but in reality, nothing is out of your control.

Learning that control can be challenging, but I know you’re not the type of woman to shy away from a challenge!

If you’re stuck on a guy you met a few weeks ago, you might have begun to imagine him in your life already.

Many times, women place a man on an undeserved pedestal, making them blind to any faults he may have.

Regardless of the reason, not only is your mind playing tricks on you, but your hormones are as well! Your body is getting an enjoyable high from the love chemicals it emits when you feel this way.

Your mind can quickly become addicted to these and coerce you into behaviors that will keep those chemical levels high.

In order to understand what’s causing these things to happen, we need to dig a little bit deeper so let’s get rolling!

You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him – Reason #1: Your RAS

Learn what is happening inside you

Your Reticular Activating System, or RAS, is a bundle of nerves whose job it is to filter out the unnecessary information our brain receives and only keep what we need.

Some scientific models indicate that our minds receive more than two million pieces of information every second. Only about seven of those are stored for use later.

Your RAS is kind of like using Google® to search for something. Last week, you searched for ‘best apple pie recipes’.

Now, you go back and enter ‘best’ into the search bar. Before you can finish, what pops up? “Best apple pie recipes”!

Meanwhile, your RAS has been at work in much the same way. You want an apple pie recipe so you suddenly see them everywhere. They’re on the bag of flour you bought; they’re on the cover of your favorite magazine; they’re turning up on Facebook and even on television commercials.

Your RAS created a filter, much like Google® does, for apple pie recipes.

While those two million bits of information are coming in, only those relating to apple pie are kept because you determined it to be important.

Let’s relate this back to your man problem of why you can’t stop thinking about him.

This guy has been placed in your mind as important.

He’s garnered a place in the RAS.

If you smell another guy who wears the same cologne, you’ll think of him. If you see a shirt similar to the one he was wearing, you’ll think of him.

Your RAS has created the guy filter and different inputs are reminding you of him all the time. If the guy is an ex, he already holds a place of importance in your life, so that filter was long ago put into place.

Crazy right?

You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him – Reason #2: Chemistry

This one, again, is all about your brain, except this time, we’re dealing with chemistry.

When you are in love or feel that instant flush of infatuation, your brain releases some chemicals – we’ll call them happy hormones.

Adrenaline, Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Vasopressin create a dangerous cocktail of hormones which go whirring around, making you feel all warm and fuzzy.

While this seems all well and good – I mean who doesn’t want to feel this way, right?

The truth is that your body can quickly become addicted to this feeling – the high of excess amounts of these hormones raging through your body.

Science tells us that your body’s addiction to these chemicals can be more difficult to overcome than an addiction to cocaine!

For that reason, your mind will begin to suggest behaviors which will keep these hormone levels higher. You will think about him and all of your good times.

Perhaps you will engage in some risky behavior like drinking too much, binge eating or going on a shopping spree.

Your hormones are raging!

All of these things bring you a temporary false high as you experience that same rush of hormones.

Of course, your brain doesn’t care that in the end, thinking about him isn’t good for you, it just wants those hormones and it will entice you to do anything to keep those levels up.

You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him – Reason #3: His Body Language

Often, you can learn a lot about someone by reading their body language.

This guy may have subconsciously been working to attract you to him with his body language. While he wasn’t intentionally sending you signals, you may have picked some up.

One such signal is whether or not he appears to be calm.

Someone who is nervous will be fidgety, have arms and hands flailing all over and may even stand with arms crossed.

Someone who is calm will have relaxed arms and won’t appear to be nervous or fidgety.

Women tend to find this lower-stress man more attractive. He may be more at ease talking to you, which puts you more at ease as well.

Another body language cue might be manspreading. I know, it’s annoying and I even heard some subway systems have signs up asking men not to do this.

But the truth is, if he’s manspreading, he is asserting his dominance over the space you’re both occupying.

This position, which may include him sitting back in his seat with his arm resting on the seat back beside him, is a very open and inviting position.

Some call this space maximizing instead of manspreading, which I have to admit, seems less offensive.

A third way in which his body language can draw you in is how he relates to the friends he’s with.

A man who is sullen, perhaps with drooped shoulders and not really engaging with his friends holds no attraction.

But, a man who is openly back-slapping his friends, maybe putting the occasional arm over another guy’s shoulder or giving the brief guy hug, is coming off as someone who shows social dominance.

This guy is upbeat, confident and happy. Who doesn’t want to be around that guy!?

You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him – Reason #4: Suppression

Have you ever tried to stop eating sugar? What do you think about 24/7?

Yup, that’s right. SUGAR!

It’s so annoying to want to get rid of something in your life and yet, all you can think about is that. one. thing. Give me a dozen Dunkin Donut’s glazed donuts and there gone!!

It consumes your thoughts, no matter how far down you try to stuff it.

The same thing is going on with this guy. You’re trying to suppress your thoughts of him but it’s having the opposite effect.

Some call suppression ‘thought stopping’. The problem with thought stopping is that it leads to what they call ‘thought rebounding’.

What this means is that the more you try to suppress something, the more likely you are to think about it. Along with these thoughts can come anxiety and depression.

If it’s an ex boyfriend you’re trying to suppress, you may feel depressed at your inability to remove him from your life. If he was abusive or the relationship was particularly stressful, you may also feel anxious thinking about him.

Thought Stopping

With thought stopping, you may be able to suppress your thoughts for some period of time, like ten minutes, but when that time is up, the thoughts will be even more prevalent than they were before.

In other words, if you try to stop thinking about your ex for ten minutes, in the next moments after, you’ll think about him even more!

It defeats the whole purpose.

You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him – Reason #5: Grief

What?

This one pertains mainly to eliminating thoughts about your ex. When you grieve a relationship, it’s different than grieving the death of someone.

There are nine stages of grieving a relationship, which you can find in more detail in my best-selling He’s Gone, Now What? – Breakup book for women

Several of these stages can lead you to think obsessively of your ex. One of those is the Denial Stage.

In this stage, you are telling yourself that the breakup isn’t real. You have difficulty imagining your life without him and you believe, falsely, that he’s going through some sort of phase. He’ll be back soon.

All you need to do is wait.

Another stage of grieving your relationship that keeps your ex foremost in your thoughts is when you go on a hunt for answers.

Why did this breakup happen? You thought everything was great and now, you’re alone. Why? Why? Why?

This is an exercise in futility because it’s leading you to ultimately believe that knowing the why will help you resolve the problem. It’s an attempt to invalidate the breakup.

The truth is that knowing the why, if you can ever figure it out, won’t help with anything.

Internal and external bargaining, two additional stages of grieving, are perfect for keeping a man in your thoughts.

With external bargaining, you determine that you’ll do anything to get him back. You obsess over what was wrong and how you can make repairs.

When you engage in internal bargaining, you’re going the route of “If only I had done…” You begin to imagine a false reality where you acted differently and there was a different outcome – you’re still together.

With any of these stages of grief, your mind is playing tricks on you in an attempt to get those happy hormones we talked about earlier flowing again.

How to Stop Thinking About Him
Make Positive Changes

So, what’s the answer? How do you stop thinking about him?

Break your routine!

The trick is to retrain your brain with different thinking. This isn’t thought stopping, but rather, focusing your thoughts differently.

We are so afraid of change, and yet, change is what keeps us growing and improving ourselves. We fear the unknown and this keeps us locked into the same life, day after day.

What if…stay with me now…

What if you decided that tomorrow, you were going to go to a different coffee shop?! Your ex always seems to show up at your usual haunt and it just brings you down.

What if you decided to take a cooking class, a class on blowing glass or a class on learning to kayak? Hmm?

Or, what if you opted to take some classes to advance your career?

What if you took up dancing, playing the piano or painting?

Change Your Friendships

Maybe your friends are positive, happy people but perhaps they aren’t. At least not all of them.

Change up your friendships

When we surround ourselves with negative people, we focus on the negatives in our lives – the things we don’t have versus what we do have.

Friends who are always making those positive changes in their own lives inspire us to do the same.

Whereas friends who sit around every night drinking and lamenting over their crappy lives bring us down.

It’s time to lift yourself up with positive friends.

Remove Him from His Pedestal

You thought I forgot that you’d put him on that pedestal didn’t you? Nope.

I remembered.

Even if you only met him briefly, you could have placed him on that imaginary pedestal.

He was handsome – his first few inches up the pedestal.

This man’s eyes were incredible – he creeps up a little more.

He was funny – he skyrocketed up quite a bit.

This guy said all of the right things – he’s now inching up even more.

He touched you and you nearly fainted – boy oh boy is this guy moving up!

And he asked for your number and even texted you good night (before he faded into the woodwork forever) – now he’s sitting squarely on top of a pedestal he didn’t really earn.

Take his ass down!

You have glorified his actions and turned him into some undeserving superhero.

For all you know, this guy hates his mother, never flosses and purposely runs over squirrels!

His clothes are torn t-shirts he’s had since 1995 that walk themselves to the washer because he’s a lazy slob.

I don’t care who he is, never place a guy on a pedestal like that. We don’t want to be up there. It makes us uncomfortable.

A man feels your expectations of him are too high when he’s atop his perch. He doesn’t want you to think of him as some god. He wants to be equal to you, not high up in your clouded vision.

Yes, you can appreciate a man for his good traits. In fact, he would enjoy hearing a little appreciation once in a while, but make him earn it!

Take him down from his pedestal!

“Wow John! It’s really great of you to remember that I love Italian!” That, we like to hear!

Go No Contact

This one can be difficult but, if you don’t want him back in your life, why are you still talking to him?

I get it if he’s an ex and you have property or kids together. Even then, you can keep your conversations only on those subjects.

The problem is that your obsession with a guy often leads to the compulsion to talk to him. This is where you need to dig into that hobby or find a book to read.

Distract your mind from him – don’t try to stop the thoughts – try to shift their focus to something else.

Forgive Him

If this man you can’t stop thinking about has hurt you in some way, you need to forgive him.

Forgiveness isn’t for the person you’re forgiving, it’s for you.

Forgiveness also isn’t you saying that what happened was okay.

It’s your way of letting go of the anger. People we remain angry with often don’t even realize we’re still angry.

While they are consuming your every thought, chances are, it’s not mutual.

Anger is often called allowing someone to live rent-free in your head. They occupy space something else could occupy – something wonderful.

Holding anger gives others power over you. Break the cycle!

What’s a Girl to do?

Forgiving opens up that space and boots out that squatter who’s been holding that rent-free spot. It also opens up space in your heart for new love!

What’s a Girl to Do?

When you find that you can’t stop thinking about him, consider why he’s stuck there and begin to work through the solutions I have given you.

It’s not impossible to change your thinking, but it does take a conscious effort, day in and day out.

Yes, it’s hard, but it’s worth it because, in the end, you will find yourself at peace with not having him around.

It’s in that peaceful existence that you will find yourself happy and ready to move forward with your life!

The post Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

How To Get Over A Guy You Never Really Dated

Getting Over a Guy You Liked But Never Dated Sucks!

Why is it so difficult to get over a guy you never actually had? At least breakups have reasons behind them. You didn’t get along. Your values weren’t the same or you grew apart.

But getting over a guy you liked but never really dated hurts. Why?

We take things personally and when people we like discard us, they drive a sword right through our self-esteem.

Isn’t that exactly how you feel? Discarded? Cast off?

I thought he liked me!

This can be especially true if you got to know that person and you thought you made a great impression. You really thought things were clicking and he was into you.

Ouch!

You begin to feel like damaged goods. Your impression of the relationship was that you were a great match for one another but then, you find out you were wrong.

If you’re such a poor judge, why bother to try again?

You must be flawed in some way. Isn’t that how you feel right now?

You are wrong.

Here are a few ways to get over a guy you liked who flakes on you.

How to Get Over a Guy | Realize He Never Gave You A Chance

Look realistically at the time you spent together. How much time was it really? One date? Two dates with a hookup?

Did you just talk on the phone and text for two weeks or email back and forth online?

In that short amount of time, did he really get to know you?

If all your communication was through technology, he never even got to meet the real you.

Love takes time, infatuation takes minutes. To understand the difference is to begin to understand what really happened.

Recognize That You Never Got To Know Him

Take a moment now to be really honest with yourself. What is it that you truly liked about this guy? Was it his eyes or the way he stood out in the crowd?

Displace him with someone new!

Did he make you laugh or did his really buff body make you swoon?

That’s not enough to declare what you had was love. That’s attraction.

There could be multiple reasons for his behavior like:

He was married, on a business trip and wanted a fling
Your crush didn’t want kids and you told him you wanted a few
He told you a ton of lies to make him look good and he knew he couldn’t ever see you again

The truth is you don’t know why he flaked on you but now, you’re starting to internalize it and that’s no good!

Ask Yourself – Did Things Click For Both Of You?

In the time you spent with him, things for you clicked. You felt attracted to him and wanted to see him more. For him, nothing clicked. He wasn’t attracted to you.

This doesn’t mean you’re ugly, too fat or anything else. It just means you’re not his type.

On more than one occasion, I’ve experienced this. A woman was totally into me for a reason I couldn’t understand.

Love can’t happen virtually

She was attractive, and had I been single, I might have dated her. Something about me clicked for her.

I’m sure it’s happened to you as well. More than likely, you’ve experienced a time when a man was more into you than you were into him.

Chances are you might not really recall this because we tend to discard people from our memory bank if we’re not into them.

I’ve had many times where I was much more into a woman than she was with me. Sometimes they never even knew how into them I was because it wasn’t reciprocated.

When a relationship has potential, it’s because both parties are into one another. Things click for both of you! You can’t wait to see him again and the same goes for him.

This time realize that he wasn’t or couldn’t continue to see you and take solace in the fact that you have been in the same position.

Get Right Back Out There And Quickly Displace This Memory

If you really want to get over a guy you barely even dated, I’ll tell you the secret! It’s as simple as getting right back out there and finding a new guy.

Boot this last guy from your memory bank with fun new memories with a new guy.

Forget pouting and spending long nights wondering what went wrong. Stop blaming yourself and digging up all of your perceived flaws.

Pull yourself up by your sandal straps and get right back out there in the dating world.

Could the same thing happen again? Heck yeah, we fail and that’s fine! Chalk these experiences up to learning and move forward.

What Can You Change In the Future?
Look At First Dates Differently

Instead of looking at a first date as a chance to fall instantly in love, look at it as a fun expedition. You’re going to uncover new and uncharted territory.

You’re going to meet someone new who has a different perspective on life from yours. He may even be from a different culture.

The first few dates should be about having fun together doing things you enjoy. Just about the worst first date is sitting across the table from a stranger with dead air separating you.

Make first dates about going and doing exciting things. Go jetsking. Hit an amusement park. Go for a walk in a public park.

DO something that is fun. Even an informal pizza date is a better first date than a dinner at some swanky restaurant.

Now, he sees the real you and you get to vet him. This gives you a much better chance of never being in this position again.

This is your time to get to know one another. This is the time to observe how he treats other people. Learn who he is.

Watch his behavior when you’re alone versus when you’re around others. Is it the same?

Don’t Look For Milestones

Women date for milestones. When does he reach out to hold your hand? When does he lean in to kiss you? How soon does he take you to meet his mother?

Guys have no idea you’re looking for those milestones. We are simply living in the moment, getting to know you and having fun!

We are in chase mode.

You’re intriguing to us. You present two things we crave. Challenge and mystery.

Rather than stressing out when you’re on a date about whether or not he’ll kiss you or hold your hand, just go have fun! You’re missing out on the fun by setting yourself up for disappointment.

Those things don’t mean nearly as much to a guy as they do to you!

How to Get Over a Guy | Wrapping Up

The truth is that, while you were totally into him, for some reason, there was no mutual attraction. This doesn’t mean you’re flawed or broken in any way, don’t let this circumstance tell you things it shouldn’t.

Don’t let the evil voices in your head turn this into some big drama and failure on your part. It’s as simple as he wasn’t into you. Period. You did nothing wrong. You are not flawed.

Get yourself back out there and just have fun! Live in the moment and show him your crazy side. Not every man you meet will be Mr. Right but your odds increase significantly if you recover quicker and keep trying!

The post How To Get Over A Guy You Never Really Dated appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Do Emotionally Unavailable Men Change?

Dating Men Who Can’t Love

You’ve asked the question that led you here for a reason – you suspect you’re dating or married to an emotionally unavailable man who can’t love.

You’ve twirled your hair into circles, chewed your nails and cried to your friends until they’ve stopped talking to you about him.

Still. The answer is elusive. Will your emotionally unavailable man change?

The truth is that unless he wants to change, the odds are against you.

Why tell you this so early on in the article?

Because, I want you to understand more about an emotionally unavailable man so you can make the necessary changes in your own life moving forward.

I know you firmly believe that if you change something, he will be motivated to change.

How many times have you said this, to yourself or someone else, “If I could just…”. Fill in the blank:

If I could just make him see how great we are together
If I could just understand why he’s closed off to me
If I could just dig into that sensitive brain of his

And, perhaps the most dangerous,

If I could just change him

You can’t teach him to love!

This man is an adult, he is not a child. And change does not come easy to an adult. When you see an emotionally unavailable man, you often immediately perceive him as childlike. Perhaps he is, but this shouldn’t be your automatic assumption.

And so what if he is. Do you really want to date a man-child? Don’t you deserve a man who acts like an adult?

Of course you do!

Let’s dig into emotionally unavailable men and see what we can unearth in our expedition.

It’s Different in Men and Women

Since boys and girls are raised differently when it comes to emotions, it stands to reason that emotionally unavailable men and women have different characteristics.

As you will see, there are overlapping traits, but for the most part, men and women are different.

While a woman can be open with someone and still be emotionally unavailable, for men, it is the openness that is part of the problem.

Yes, being emotionally unavailable is about not being able to engage emotionally, but a man is more likely to shy away from the discomfort of emotions he isn’t familiar with or make him uncomfortable.

It impedes his ability to connect and grow a relationship into deeper and deeper intimacy.

A healthy relationship continues to build emotional depth but if one or both parties are emotionally unavailable, there is no emotional depth.

Emotionally Unavailable Men Characteristics

He Doesn’t Like to Talk About Deep Topics

An emotionally unavailable man doesn’t want to engage in any conversation where feelings are involved. This not only applies to his feelings of love for you, but also to his feelings of pain, shame or guilt, to name a few.

In fact, this guy has become the master of ignoring his negative emotions. When you might expect him to feel sad, as in the death of a loved one, he is stoic and seems unengaged.

When he does show emotion is when someone tries to climb over or dig under the emotional wall he has built. He won’t tolerate intruders.

An emotionally unavailable man exhibiting this characteristic can be tricky to spot. He might show you glimpses of emotion from time to time, but rest assured, he will pull back quickly enough!

He’s Hot and Cold

emotionally unavailable men blow hot and cold

Emotionally unavailable men will sometimes text you, all day, every day for a few weeks. You get the feeling he’s totally into you.

Sex is great and everything seems hunky dory.

Then, like a tidal wave, the silence hits.

You can’t get him to respond, even if you tease him with a sexy text. He seems to be MIA.

Of course, just when you’re about to give up, Mr. Hot and Cold will return, hotter than ever, reassuring you (in your own mind) that everything is fine. This was all your imagination.

This pattern will continue infinitely.

As frustrating as it is, I beg you not to blame yourself. He isn’t dashing away because of anything you’re doing. He’s just had as much display of emotion as he can handle for a few weeks.

He’s Suffering a Loss

A man who has recently suffered a devastating loss is going to be emotionally unavailable. The good news is that this reason may pass with time, if he was emotionally available before.

Most of the time.

Loss is difficult for men to deal with and it comes in all shapes and sizes.

Men feel a sense of loss if they lose a job, don’t get a promotion, get demoted, lose a loved one (including a pet) or even lose a prized possession like that Corvette he had to get rid of because he can’t afford the insurance, now that he has a family.

A man needs to crawl into his man cave and deal with these things on his own. He will come out, eventually, ready to love again, if he is able to deal with the loss.

He’s Married or in a Committed Relationship

A man may be looking for a hookup, but he doesn’t want to come off as that guy, so he fakes his feelings to woo you in.

While this is totally scumbag material and I make no excuses for my gender, it’s still true.

Is he married and you don’t know it?

A married or committed guy will be emotionally unavailable when he is not.

Oh, he might say he wants to be with you, but things never come to be.

He is guarding his emotions because he’s already in a committed relationship. You are something he has, on the side, to feel like he’s in chase mode again or to find challenge.

When a man won’t reveal his relationship status to you or seems to be evasive when it comes to meeting family or friends, you might want to do some digging.

Men Who Can’t Love | He is Conveniently Missing during Your Times of Need

Where was Mr. Wonderful when your grandma died?

When you had to take your 15 year old dog to the vet to be put down, where was he?

When you’re experiencing highly emotional times, is he there?

No?

That’s because he doesn’t want to deal with your emotional moments any more than he wants to deal with his own.

Other times this guy will be unavailable include the time you need someone to change your flat tire or put together your new bookshelves.

I often tell women men show their love. A man who loves you will not only change your tire for you, he’ll drive your car to the dealership to get a new one.

The same guy will put your shelf together, fix your plumbing leak or do anything else to help you.

Is He the Master of Excuses?

Does he make plans with you, only to flake and not show up?

Then, after you spend hours trying to text and call him, you finally give up, deciding he’s dead on the side of the road somewhere.

Oh, he’s dead alright. Emotionally dead.

This guy disappears but, when he resurfaces, there is always some elaborate excuse. Not only did his dog die but Fido did it in glorious fashion.

emotionally broken men make excuses!

Or his best friend’s ex wife showed up on his doorstep and he just had to be there for him.

Perhaps his kid had an emergency that required his undivided attention…but for hours, days or weeks?

No. This guy panicked and flaked on you. Period.

Things got too close, he started feeling something and BAM he needed to get out of it and fast!

Is He Quick to Blame or Anger?

Blaming is the emotionally unavailable man’s game. Nothing is his fault.

You expect too much of him – it isn’t that he can’t give. It’s your fault.

You shouldn’t have asked him to help you. You know he’s super busy. You’re disappointment is your own fault.

Nothing he does is his own responsibility.

This includes his angry outbursts when someone tries to permeate the wall he has built around himself.

Why am I Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Men

You too are Emotionally Unavailable

The painful truth you may need to face is that you too might be emotionally unavailable. Likes attract likes. We attract into our lives those who are most like us.

A relationship between two emotionally unavailable people is just about as dysfunctional as it can be. The good news for you is that it’s also rare.

Your intentions may be honorable. You may truly love him and he you, but if neither of you is emotionally unavailable, the love doesn’t matter. You will never connect deeply.

How do you respond to these questions:

Do you shy away from conflict?
Does your life feel as if it’s in a constant state of chaos?
Are you a workaholic?
Do you, yourself, avoid commitment?
Do you feel as if you don’t even know who you are any longer?
Do you develop bonds with people? Do you invest your emotions in someone else?
Do you love yourself?
Have you just exited a relationship?
Do you use perfectionism to cut people out of your life? They just don’t hit the mark so they’re out…
Do you behave elusively? You drop out of plans last minute, refuse to commit until the last minute? Are you known as the one nobody can count on to show up?

If you responded “Yes” to a few of these, you may have your answer.

You are an Emotional Chaser

Do you find yourself chasing this type of man?

An emotional chaser is someone who chases love and affection from men who can’t love and never finds it. You invest time and energy in men who are only partially interested or capable of a real relationship.

When you are an emotional chaser, you:

Fall for men who will cheat on you, won’t commit and refuse to settle down
Are emotionally committed to the relationship while he is not, regardless of how hard you try
Believe the men you date are more desirable than you are
Live in a constant state of fear that he will leave you so you work twice as hard to keep him interested in you
Morph into who you think he wants you to be, completely casting aside your own values and beliefs

You are looking for the Wrong Things in a Man

Women too often fall for the good-looking guy with the smooth lines.

When said smooth-talker focuses his attention on you, you feel lucky to have been chosen by him. All intelligence and reason flows out of you.

The problem is this guy is a player. He’s smooth because he’s practiced a lot.

He wants to sleep with you and use you for whatever he can but he does not want and cannot make an emotional connection with you.

When you are looking for a man, your better bet is to look for traits like kindness, reliability and emotional stability.

Look for someone who brings out the best in you and vice versa. You should complement one another and make each other feel stronger.

You Don’t Believe You Deserve a Great Man

If you have low self-worth, the idea of dating someone who thinks you’re wonderful scares the daylights out of you.

How can you be with someone who thinks you’re all that if you don’t believe it yourself? You would never believe anything this guy told you and, in fact, it would make you really uncomfortable.

Having low self-worth comes with a lot of anxiety and fear.

You always fear you won’t measure up to someone’s expectations.

Because of this, it’s easier for you to seek a man who is also emotionally broken. He won’t be puffing you up and you don’t need to invest more than you can.

Fixing others is easier than Fixing Yourself

It’s always easier to see the flaws in someone else. Likes attract likes, but we don’t often recognize this in ourselves.

Fix the things you can control

You like emotionally unavailable men because it gives you a project to work on that isn’t yourself.

You can focus your energy on his flaws, rather than on your own. It’s easier to point out what he should do to fix himself than to turn that finger back on yourself.

To face our perceived inadequacies is scary to say the least. Our minds will help us avoid this, thus keeping everything intact.

All of the negativity you’ve heard others say to you, along with what you’ve said to yourself is deeply seated in your unconscious mind – buried deep. Only through reprogramming will this change.

You must change your own narrative and avoid those who put you down.

There are many Emotionally Unavailable Men to choose from

Sadly, the concentration of emotionally unavailable people on the dating market is pretty high.

This type of person is often the relationship ender and they quickly are able to rejoin the dating scene because they had nothing invested in the relationship.

When an emotionally unavailable person divorces and remarries, their odds of getting divorced a second time are very high. Not to worry, they’ll be right back out there, looking for you!

An emotionally unavailable man will be looking for a woman who craves closeness, which can be a form of anxiety.

Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men Reinforces Your Insecurities

Let’s take a brief detour into some Attachment Theory.

Your childhood holds clues

According to Attachment Theory, our relationships with our parents help to shape our expectations about our romantic partners later in life. This is a changeable expectation.

Here’s where this comes into play for you. If, in your childhood, being close and connected to someone brought you pain and neglect.

You crave the closeness you never received, but what happens is you make too many sacrifices with a disappointing end result.

You commit to the relationship and draw closer but the emotionally unavailable person reacts by putting you down or telling you you’re needy.

Now, you believe the problem is all yours and down goes your self-esteem…again.

This emotionally unavailable man confirmed your beliefs about yourself, which were formed in your youth. Being close and connected brings pain and neglect.

You Miss the cues of Healthy Love

Emotionally unavailable men who can’t love are often quick to sex and tend to be real firecrackers in the beginning of a relationship. This is how they can draw you in.

Their high energy and focus on the relationship leads you to believe they’re all in, 1000%.

The problem is that if you’re accustomed to dating this type of guy and you meet an emotionally healthy man, you might miss the cues.

You’re looking for the anxiousness of an unhealthy attachment and miss signals of a healthy one, which is calmer. There is no tension. There is no playing hard-to-get.

The man you’ve just met is secure in who he is and he has chosen you.

When you too are emotionally healthy, you choose men and you see healthy, not unhealthy men, as the goal of your pursuit.

How do I stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men?

Fix Yourself

It’s time to figure out why you keep attracting this type of man into your life.

I’ve given you a few reasons but you have to dig deep for your particular reason.

The truth is that, in all of those relationships, you are the common denominator. There is a reason you are choosing this same type of man, over and over.

What is common to most of the reasons for choosing emotionally unavailable men who can’t love is that your self-esteem is in the dumper.

Take a break from dating and work on your confidence:

Listen to and adjust your self-talk so it is positive
Set boundaries which stop people who abuse you in some way
Read some great books on building yourself, like these
Take a confidence course, perhaps something like Build Yourself and He Will Come

Recognize the Signs Early On

An emotionally unavailable man has some signals you can detect. In addition to those I’ve listed above, here are a few more:

Tethering – a man who texts but never wants to make plans with you – he’s happy with phone-dating you
He has no range of emotions – it’s normal to get angry or frustrated but someone who doesn’t show any emotion when he should is sending strong signals
He avoids commitment – any discussion on any form of commitment is met with resistance

Often, women fall hard and fast for a man. This, combined with the rocket-like start many emotionally unavailable men will give to a new relationship, is a bad combination.

By the time you realize there are signals, you think you’ve got too much time and energy invested.  Your new goal becomes wanting to fix him, which is probably what brought you here today.

Don’t Try to Rescue Men

Some women like to rescue others.

Your tendency to be a nurturer leads you here, and while your nurturing side is comforting to a child, it’s not to a man.

men who can’t love cannot be rescued!

Aside from that, you cannot fix someone else, regardless of his problem.

The problem is that it feels good to imagine you played a role in someone becoming a better person.

If you want to do rescue work, go to an animal shelter. You can feel good about walking a half-dozen cute pups around the yard to give them some exercise.

Leave men to rescue themselves.

Ask Yourself if You’re in a Good Place for a Relationship

Society tells us we need to be in a relationship. If you’re not in a relationship, there’s something obviously wrong with you. Right?

WRONG!

There are times in your life when you may not be ready for a relationship:

Just after you’ve gotten out of a long-term relationship
When your focus is on your career or education
When your confidence and self-esteem are low
When you notice a pattern of choosing broken men

There are others, but these are the times people most often do the opposite and seek a relationship.

Then, because they’re not in a good place to be a good partner, things go sour and confidence and self-esteem take a nosedive.

Make Change a High Priority in Your Life

The biggest thing you must do to change this pattern is to make change a high priority. Recognizing that you’ve got a problem in choosing men is just the start of fixing things.

Now, the hard work begins.

Not only do you need to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem, but you also need to make other changes as well.

You may need to change the friends you hang out with when you’re on the prowl. You may need to look for men in new places.

All of the activities you need to do to begin making positive choices require a commitment of time and energy.

You must prioritize this, just like you prioritized your education, career, children or developing any talents you may have.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask Questions

You can make positive change!

When you’re dating someone new, ask him questions. A great informative question is “How did your last relationship end?”

If he waves his hand and says something like, “Oh, she was a real bitch” or “She was too needy”, he’s telling you he exited.

If you find out he exited last week, chances are he wasn’t emotionally invested and he probably won’t be with you either.

Become Comfortable sharing Your Own Emotions

We often attract emotionally unavailable people because we don’t want them to ask us to share our emotions.

Childhood and early adult life has taught you that sharing your emotions results in pain and disappointment, therefore you don’t feel comfortable doing it any longer.

Start where it’s safe – with a good, trusted friend. Share with her an emotion you’ve struggled to share.

Feel the love that comes back to you and let it wash over you. Enjoy how great this feels.

Learning to share emotions comfortably is tricky but it leads you to healthy relationships where you can not only give love but receive it.

Right now, you’re finding men who don’t give it so you don’t have to feel uncomfortable receiving.

Remember, Love is a Verb

Think about it, in the sentence “I love you”, there are two nouns and one verb.

Love means you are all in!

To love someone is to care for them, to feel deep affection for them, to hold them very dear to you and to be devoted to them.

Infatuation is often mistaken for love. By definition, infatuation is short-lived passion or admiration for someone.

When you love someone, you want your life and theirs to be better together. You truly care if they experience a loss, have a bad day, get a great promotion or experience other landmark events in their life.

You grow together, emotionally, into a deeper, committed relationship because you take action toward one another that show caring, affection and devotion.

Set Boundaries

Boundaries define where you end and someone else begins. A boundary helps you define what is acceptable behavior by people in your life versus unacceptable.

Someone who always berates you breaks a boundary.

A man who demands sex too early in a relationship is breaking a boundary, or he should be.

Too often, we are afraid to set boundaries because we don’t want to hurt people. We don’t want someone to be angry with us.

Set boundaries and stick to them!

Here’s the deal. You cannot control how someone else will react to what you do. If a boundary crasher gets angry with you for setting a boundary, that’s on them!

Having healthy boundaries helps you recognize when someone isn’t treating you in the way you deserve to be treated. This person needs to be removed from your life, or at least have limited exposure to you.

How to Date (Temporary) Emotionally Unavailable Men

Poke His Emotions When He Should be showing Them

If your guy experiences a loss but is coming off as being pretty stoic, poke his emotions a little bit.

You can say something like, “I remember when my grandmother died. I was so sad. She meant so much to me. You seem to be handling this really well, but I wonder how you really feel about it.”

He still may not respond while you’re around, but with any luck, maybe he will at least feel something when he’s alone.

You may not know it, of course, but you might start to see some twinge of emotion from him.

Feed Him Information Anyway

Some men who can’t love are very self-centered. He couldn’t care less about how you feel about something so he’s not going to ask questions like “How did your presentation go?” or “How are you doing since your dog died?”

He simply does. Not. Care.

So, your alternative is to offer the information anyway.

“Hey honey, that presentation I did today went great! My boss loved it and I think the clients are on board!”

Or…

“I can’t believe it’s been a month since Rover died. I still miss him so much.”

Match His Self-Centered Nature

Your emotionally unavailable man might be a narcissist. They often are, and truth be told, if he is, you just need to exit.

Is he a narcissist?

Every time your guy shares something about his day, you match it.

Him: “Boy I had a terrible day. My boss is a real jerk. I never get credit for saving his ass”

You: “I know what you mean. I did that presentation today and barely got a response from my boss and the clients loved it!”

When he ignores the things you say, either by poking him or by matching what he says, he is most likely narcissistic, and you need to cut your losses.

Know When He Just Needs space and when He’s Completely Unengaged

Yes, a man needs space when he is dealing with something emotionally difficult.

All men do, but there is a difference between needing a few days to sort things out and needing forever to avoid dealing with the pain.

It’s fine to give a guy the space he requires, but within reason. Ask him how long he feels he needs to deal with his stuff.

If he’s still not coming around at that point, he’s not going to. It’s time to boot him to the curb!

Allow His Schedule to Prevail

To draw out an emotionally unavailable man who can’t love, you must allow the relationship to advance at his pace. This can be very difficult for you, because women like to prod men along but heed my advice!

Allow him to determine how fast things go:

Let him call you
Don’t try to touch him to get him to engage
Don’t send him sexy texts and photos to seduce him
Don’t invite him to places you know he loves to go

Your goal is to create a space in which he feels safe. He doesn’t see you as someone who is forcing him into something he doesn’t want.

when a man is in a temporarily emotionally distant be patient

This requires a level of patience that is difficult for many people, but it also requires you being open to his advances when they do come.

It also requires you to show your emotions, even if they’re negative, but in a way which tells him he can fix it and it’s not so bad.

If he’s late, for example, you can express your disappointment without making him feel horrible.

“Gee, Mike, since you got here so late, we’ve missed the 8:00 movie. Too bad because I really wanted to see it. What can we do instead?”

You’re giving him an option to make it up to you here by allowing him to choose another activity – hopefully one he knows you’ll enjoy.

Do Emotionally Unavailable Men Change?

The unfortunate truth I have to share with you is this – emotionally unavailable men can change, but it is only through their own efforts that they will accomplish this.

It is possible that an emotionally unavailable man is deeply in love with you but still, he is unable to connect on that deeper level you crave.

What underlies this unavailability is fear, plain and simple. Fear is what keeps us from making most of the changes we need to make in our lives.

For the emotionally unavailable man, it is fear of rejection, fear of getting hurt and fear of not being good enough.

Being emotionally unavailable is a protective measure we place in our lives. It keeps us feeling safe in the place we’ve existed in for most of our lives.

Whether you are the emotionally unavailable one or he is, or perhaps both, what you need to understand is that becoming emotionally available means facing many fears, sitting with many uncomfortable feelings and altering the self-talk that’s been used for a lifetime.

To be emotionally unavailable is to try and keep vulnerability at bay.

Vulnerability shows the soft underbelly most of us try to hide from others, again for fear of rejection, hurt or finding out we’re not good enough.

Someone who is emotionally unavailable can certainly change, but it isn’t an overnight change and there is little you can do to change someone else.

An emotionally unavailable man who can’t love must see his closed-off emotions as a problem and want to make a change. Men do it, and so do women, but not without extensive work.

If you are dating or married to an emotionally unavailable man, your best hope is that he sees the problem and seeks help. This may require him to pull back from your relationship while he works on himself. It may be the end of your relationship, but that is yet to be determined.

What he requires of you, when he decides to change, is patience and understanding. He needs acceptance and the knowledge that he is enough.

The post Do Emotionally Unavailable Men Change? appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

How to Ask a Guy Out | 5 Sure Fire Ways to Get a Yes!

Asking a Guy Out Can Be Fun with these 5 Tips!

For as long as I have been interested in women, I dreamed that just one would walk up and ask me out, “Gregg, you handsome devil, wanna go out with me?”

56 years later – I’m still waiting!

Ok maybe a few did but I sure as heck can’t remember when and, if a woman did, she probably was a hunch back with a tail.

Guys are rooting for you just like I was all my life!

My point being, is to ask a man out! We want you to. Men will root for you. We are more afraid than you are – that I can guarantee.

Add the #Metoo movement and now we think you will have us arrested if we even flirt with you.

It takes some degree of confidence in yourself to ask a guy out. I get that. That’s why my website for women has a slogan across the header that says, Build Yourself and He Will Come!

If you see yourself cringing at these five ways on how to ask a guy out then you need to hit the confidence button, on my homepage, and get some.

So what are the best ways to ask a guy out? The key is to put yourself in the position to ask a guy out so you can ask the question more comfortably.

The actual question is often the easy part. It takes confidence, but it’s easy.

How to ask a guy out:

#1: Pick something on your bucket list and go for it!

Let’s make asking a guy out easy by setting the stage.

Brainstorm 50 ideas (hobbies/passions/new adventures) narrow to 10. Pick 1 or 2, sign up and go! The goal here is to get exposure and join with guys that you have things in common with. This takes the pressure off from meeting a man while you are having fun!

Don’t join yoga unless you are asking women out.

Adventures with strangers make asking guys out so much easier!

After a couple of white water trips, for example, it’s a hell of a lot easier to look at the guy who paddled you down the river and say, “Jim, you saved my life from those class 5 rapids, let me take you out for a cocktail Saturday!”

Notice you are telling him and not really asking. This shows confidence!

If he says yes, then you are golden, if he says no, then pat yourself on your shoulder and paddle away.

#2: Use a corny pickup line

Guess what? Pick up lines suck if you’re a guy using them on a woman.

But, they work the bomb directed to guys from women! Why? Because we are a bunch of barely grown up third graders and crappy pickup lines were a part of our heritage. I still laugh at them with my friends.

So when you use them towards a man you are tickling his funny bone and that’s a good thing!

Here are a few:

Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by YOU.

OK I cheated and stole these here – https://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/cheesy.html?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss

Your goal is to get him laughing. You don’t even need to be smooth. If you mess up the punch line that’s even better!

How to Ask a Guy Out Tip #3: Study comedy and use it towards strangers

Getting him to laugh makes it easy to ask him out!

The best way to get to know someone is to make them laugh. I was gifted with funniness, (is that a word?) so I was lucky, but some women have nothing.

Change this by going to comedy shows and listening to comedians. Steal a few lines. Watch their deliveries. Practice on your friends. It works.

I have ten or so lines that I still use today and they are the perfect way break the ice so you can ask a guy out.

For example, when I go to my place in Delray Beach, I always eat at the same sushi bar. There are a lot of other people sitting next to me. I poke my raw tuna with my chopsticks and say in a loud voice, “A skilled veterinarian could bring this tuna back to life”

Is it stupid? Yes. Is it funny? Hell yea! Everyone laughs. A steak restaurant works too.

The sillier the better when it comes to lines. I was with a group of women in LA and one wanted to meet this guy. I told her to grab the guys little drink umbrella and put it in her hair, smile, say her friends challenged her to do it, and offer to buy him another drink.

He laughed his ass off and bought her a drink. It works.

I swear the more you act like a little kid, the more a man is drawn to you. If he’s not, then you never wanted to meet him in the first place!

How to Ask a Guy Out Tip #4: Walk up, hand him your phone number and leave

This tip comes with options!

Really? Yep. How much easier does it get? It even meets my act like a little kid requirement.

This tactic comes with many variations which is nice too:

You could strut back to your friends and see if he approaches
Tease him and say, “This is your lucky day my friend – I never come on the market” and leave.
You could say this line, grab his little umbrella and stick it in your hair and then walk back over to your friends!

The skies the limit.

#5: Have your friend approach him

Have your friends approach him for you!

I do this with my guy friends and it works great! Especially with John, my shy buddy. Have your friend walk over to a guy you like, grab his hand, and say, “my friend wants to meet you, she’s a bit shy so I am taking you to her.”

Perfect! Start talking, get to know each other and then ask him out like this:

Jim, we are all going to the wine tasting next Friday at the Seaport area in Boston. Are you busy? Grab some of your friends or come as my date and let’s crush some grapes! Here’s my number – bye!”

Then make a nice smooth exit. Now go somewhere else and rinse and repeat.

Like anything, it’s a numbers game. The more exposure you get the more potential dates you will get and the less you will care about any one of them.

Also, the more guys you talk to the more relaxed you will be asking guys out. This is called desensitization and its one of your tools in my confidence course book, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes.

Get it for the price of a cup of coffee – it may change your life.

How to get a guy to ask you out | 5 Sneaky Ways

So we covered how to ask a guy out but what if you are too shy? Are there ways to get the guy to ask you out instead?

There sure are!

Tip #1: Put your friend to work

Arrange for your potential suitor to join you and your friends (and his) for a get together. No pressure just request to get everyone together for the wine tasting on Friday night.

Then, when you are sipping wine together, have your extroverted friend walk up and say, “you two would make a great couple – Jim, ask her out will you?”

This might create an embarrassing moment but who cares! You didn’t create it.  And he just might ask you out on the spot or at least think about it in the future.

How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out Tip #2: Ask him for a favor

Ask him for a ride and get one on one time!

Guys love to fix things and help women. It makes us feel good to get our egos stroked. Look for a situation where you can use this to your advantage. If he has a truck you could ask him to move some furniture for you.

Or

Ask him to give you a ride somewhere that you know he is headed. This puts you in a one on one situation that could make him see you as a potential couple. Then, you can thank him by inviting him to join you for lunch or a cup of coffee.

Tip #3: Flirt using body language

Few women know how to effectively use body language. In my book Night Moves, I cover this in detail. You can get a guy to ask you out by giving him a huge dose of attention. Smile. Lock eyes with him for longer than you would normally.

Compliment him in front of his friends and yours. This will naturally draw him to you. Touch him too, by putting your hand on his shoulder.

One key tip: Gauge your attention towrds him. Don’t be too aggressive or he will be turned off. Go “in and out” with your compliments, touching and smiles. This will pique his curiosity! He won’t know if you like him or you don’t and that’s what you want!

Now, he will only concentrate on you and no other women. Clever as a fox!

Tip #4: Find his passion and get him to talk about it

Find his passion and talk to him about it!

If he loves surfing then ask him about it. Even better, learn about it and try it! When you share a guy’s passion, he starts to equate you with his love for his passion – in other words, you increase the chances of him wanting you in his life!

Now, when he mentions going surfing, you say “bring me, bring me!” as only a woman can say in her wonderful je ne sais quoi way.

Brilliant!

If you start asking me about writing books for women – you can damn well bet that I will give you my undivided attention.

How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out Tip #5: Ask him what he is doing this weekend – then tell a white lie!

This works well. Ask the guy what his plans are for the holiday weekend. When he tells you, tell him that you and your friend are going there too!

OK, you’re not but now you are. Then tell your friend that she is going whether she likes it or not and then buy her lunch.

When he sees you, this puts you in a great situation for him to ask you out in the future. It’s almost like you are having a first date without ever asking him out.

How to Ask  Guy Out Conclusion | Do not fear failure!

Never fear failure!

Do you know who fails more than anyone?

Yours truly!

I fail because I take risks to find out what works. I live outside my comfort zone. You see, you can’t succeed if you don’t fail. Do you think Thomas Edison got the lightbulb right on the first try? Nope. It took him over 1000 times!

Look at failure as the road to success, not as a judgement on you.

The real failures are the ones that complain how terrible their lives are and do nothing about it.

You are not that person! You are the women who is now procative in getting guys to the date.

So there you have it, my 5 sure-fire ways on How to Ask a Guy Out and my 5 ways on How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out.

The post How to Ask a Guy Out | 5 Sure Fire Ways to Get a Yes! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

100 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Man

Creative Ways to Say I Love You Info-graphic!

You did it! You landed the perfect guy!

Congratulations!

Now you need some creative ways to express your feelings without saying the three most overused words in the English dictionary.

I Love You.

Guys don’t even understand those three words. Oh, we will say them but most of the time we do because you’ll be angry if we don’t!

We love you when we fix things!

We show our love through actions. Men cut the lawn, stay home when you’re sick, fix things and protect you from the evils of the outside world.

Granted, repairing your car isn’t as romantic as saying I love you, but it’s our way.

So it makes sense for you to show your love with actions too, right? Yes, we like when you say I love you but you can do it better and I have 100 ways to help you!

Many are actions and do not even involve the moving of lips – well, most don’t!

Go ahead and print out 100 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Man and use it for a reference when you want to mix things up and show him new ways to tell him how much you truly love him.

Here are a few creative ways to say I love you:

Start his car on a cold morning
Mirror his behavior
Get up in the morning even if you don’t need to be up yet
Give him his own space in the house – he needs his own man cave!
Do that “freaky thing” he asked you for
Make a big deal out of his Birthday
Don’t fear the mixed CD – give him songs that mean something to him
Give him a massage – then give him sex!
Wear some sexy lingerie
And 91 more!

Pick from the list once a day or once a week and watch him reciprocate as your relationship flourishes!

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2 Different Kinds of Guys and How to Date Them!

Which Type of Man Should You Date?

Wouldn’t it be great to identify the different kinds of guys and know which is best for you? Get the pros and cons of two different types below!

It’s no secret – men are hard to classify. Each guy is a mixture of several characteristics, creating their unique personality. Men can change and move into different categories for brief periods of time.

The shy guy can have his outgoing moments, (think alcohol) and the short, over compensating guy can lay off the gym and turn into a momma’s boy for a short time.

Still, guys fall into several major classifications. Identified here are two of my ten different kinds of guys, their pros and cons, and whether or not they’re datable, as well as a few helpful tips on dating each kind of guy!

Ready to have some fun?!?

Different Kinds of Guys | The Over-Compensator

The Over-Compensator can be found at the gym!

This kind of guy fakes his low self-esteem better than most. The Over-Compensator tends to be short and he probably drives a big truck. He likely has larger than life, barbed wire tattoos covering his arms. His truck has a loud exhaust system – on purpose – so he can announce his low self-worth.

This guy will never cry, and he works out every day. He walks with great posture and looks as if he has beehives under his arm pits. Muscle shirts? Oh yeah, even in the winter. This guy smells good, albeit, a little too good. He wears lifts in his shoes but, if you ask him, he’ll say they’re orthotics.

The Over-Compensator eats extremely well, if you like protein. No chips or cookies for this guy – no way. Just a steroid shot in the ass and a power shake for good measure!

The Pros  

+ With proper care, this man can improve.

All kidding aside, the Over-Compensator can be a good guy. Many people have low self-esteem, but this man is doing something about it, unlike most of his counterparts.

This kind of guy should get credit for that. He works hard, not only at the gym, but at his job and in his relationships. The Over-Compensator tends to have a good job too. When his ego is stroked a little, he will stop showing off and get down to business.

+ He is a protector

The Over-Compensator will keep you safe. Leave the pit-bull at the animal shelter – you are dating one…no dog food needed (but don’t forget the protein shake)!

The Cons

– His attitude

The Over-Compensator can have an attitude if he doesn’t get his ego stroked. He will be quick to pick a fight with any man who insults or challenges him. This makes him a look a little immature compared to other guys.

– Jealousy

This type of guy tends to be jealous. He has difficulty coping with competition and will always have some shortcomings in this department.

Never make fun of his truck!

– Poor spending habits

This guy is a spender! He spends a lot on material items as part of his attempt to prove to the masses that he is just as good as the next guy. He does much better controlling this impulse when he is with a loving woman.

Is He Datable? How?

The Over-Compensator can be datable. The key is to never make fun of him or his truck until you really know him, and even then, be very careful. This is especially true in the bedroom.

One mention of his small penis and he’s doing more chin-ups and putting even bigger tires on his ’75 Bronco. He has limited funds to begin with, and know your birthday gift will be reduced to a Planet Fitness 5% off membership coupon.

To stroke the Over-Compensator’s ego, let him make the plans. He will be very good at it and very willing. When in public, do not even think of looking at other guys – especially tall guys. If you do, get ready for the street fight.

It’s important to know why this man is overcompensating. It may be based on harmless insecurities like his height, or it could be his limited bank account. It could also be more harmful insecurities like really low self-esteem and drug or alcohol addiction. These can cause anger issues.

He’s 5 foot 2 inches so don’t wear heels!

If you are okay with his reasons for overcompensating, you can begin to build his confidence by showing him that his shortcomings are no big deal to you. The Over-Compensator can be a good man. He is a sensitive man, he just has a few hot button issues that need to be understood and massaged by you.

My Top Pointers for dating the Over-Compensator

Never wear heels – he won’t even walk next to you;
Don’t ask him about the weights in his living room, bedroom, foyer, closet, dining room or bath;
Take advantage of his many mirrors – kneel down and feel free to fix your hair;
Don’t put your feet up on the dash – even if it IS a 75 Bronco – he will get angry;
Ask him daily how many chin-ups he did;
Understand why he is overcompensating and counter this with support.

Get My Best Seller: Manimals: Understanding Different Types of Men and How to Date Them!

Different Kinds of Guys |The Momma’s Boy

This kind of guy is smart, and he will be all in with you, but he will never mention that he lives in the basement of his mother’s house. He has money because, well, he lives in the basement of his mother’s house!

Yep. that was him 35 years ago. Still a Momma’s boy today!

Even if he moves in with you, mom comes with him in some way, shape or form. If you live in, or move to another state, mom will move close by. Decisions? Better check with mom. Kids? Only mom can babysit. Big argument? Mom and her boy will take sides against you.

The interesting thing is that he is a good man. This attachment is his baggage, but it also can be his strength.

The Pros

+ Chivalry

The Momma’s Boy is taught from a young age to treat a woman with respect. This comes from being taught to never disrespect his mom, but it also means that he won’t disrespect you or any other woman. You are very safe with this man. He will open doors for you and protect you from harm.

+ Emotional sharing

The Momma’s Boy is comfortable sharing his emotions and understands women better than other kinds of guys. This allows you talk more freely about your needs than you could with other men. Upset at work? He will want to hear why. Fender bender? He will be there to comfort you.

The Cons

– Privacy

There will be times when you will have very little privacy. Mom will stop by unannounced. She will have little regard for what you are doing and whether you are in the middle of something. Mom knows and takes advantage of the fact that she is number one with Junior.

No amount of locks will keep Mom from visiting!

Dinners and love making will be interrupted by text messages and phone calls and, if you get upset – watch out! You should also be aware that private and personal facts about you and your relationship are probably being shared with mom.

– Meeting her standards

Meeting mom’s high standards for her boy takes a woman with very high self-esteem. She is a master at beating down a lady with low self-esteem. She will be skeptical on almost every level until she feels you are worthy of dating her son.

Is He Datable? How?

The Momma’s Boy can be datable. You need to be prepared to date two people though – mom and Junior. When you ask him for a decision, understand that it will be made only after he talks to mom.

The key is to stay on mom’s good side. If you do, you will win over her heart and his too! As a bonus, all her money comes your way in the form of down payments for a house, luxury cars and anything the kids want.

On the down side, if you piss off mom, you are in trouble! A prenup is a given! She will always have a better lawyer than you and if she tells Junior to dump you – he will have to comply.

Momma’s Boy requires lots of attention

The Momma’s Boy needs love. He is accustomed to getting plenty from mom and trying to shift this responsibility over to you could be difficult. His attachment to his mom can be a huge point of contention between the two of you.

Love this guy, lavish him with attention daily, honor and recognize his bond with his mother and you could win him over for life.

A Momma’s Boy needs nurturing. He will ultimately date and marry a woman who reminds him of his mom. A Momma’s Boys generally date motherly types of women.

He is an emotional man, which means he is very sensitive and sympathetic to others. He might even cry when you cry.

My Top Pointers for dating the Momma’s Boy

Suck up to mom and stay on her good side;
Include mom at the beginning of any decision – you might even ask her first; try something like this: “What do you think your son would like, a Ferrari or a Porsche?”
Pick the most expensive house you can afford and then add 25%…Junior is worth it and mom will make up the difference – just avoid a duplex;
Give this man love daily;
Spend time alone with his mom – this will pay off big time.

Want to learn about all the different kinds of guys and how to date them? Go Here: Different Types of Men

Learn About the Other Kinds of Guys

I had some fun writing Manimals because I got to describe different types of men, whether they’re datable or not and how to date them when they are. Because that didn’t seem like enough, I then profiled several types of women and paired them up. Now, you can identify which type of woman you are and learn which type of man might be the best fit for you!

In addition to these different types of men and women, the second half of the book contains:

Explanations on why you are dating the wrong type of guy now
An in-depth study of what I like to call the Relationship Train To Failure
15 things every woman needs to know about men
My best-ever discussion on what challenge and mystery are, why they’re important and how to use both to your advantage!

The post 2 Different Kinds of Guys and How to Date Them! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

10 Questions To Answer Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend

Get Answers to these 10 Questions Before Moving in with Your Boyfriend

You’re here because you’ve started thinking that moving in with your boyfriend would be a great thing for your relationship. You’ve dated for a while now and you think he might be ‘the one’. Maybe he’s even sent you a few signals along the way to indicate he’s ready. Before we go there, I need to say one thing.

I don’t want to make your guy out to be a schmuck but let me explain one thing to you about men: a man will say and do just about anything to keep a woman and that includes moving in when he doesn’t want to or even buying an engagement ring for a woman he has no intention of marrying.

Pass my moving in with your boyfriend checklist and you will be happy!

I say it often, I’m not always proud of my male counterparts. We can be a lazy bunch and it is easier to say or do anything to keep a woman than it is to go out and find another one who will put up with all of our idiosyncrasies.

You could have a good guy on your hands so let’s examine whether or not you should move in with your boyfriend. Consider this your “moving in with your boyfriend checklist.” Here are ten questions you should ask yourself, or your boyfriend before taking the dive.

Why Do You Want To Move In Together?

This is perhaps the most important question to ask. Unless you’re planning on sharing a home but not a bed, the answer should not be ‘to save money’. Moving in together is a big step in a relationship. It is a commitment and not to be taken lightly.

Be honest about your reasons. Do you want to advance your relationship to the next level? Are you hoping to learn whether or not you want to get married? Think long and hard about your true reasons for taking this step and then have a discussion with your guy.

You’re making, at the least, a 12-month commitment with a lease so you need to be sure you’re both doing this for the right reason.

“Uh, ummm I’m doing it because you said you wanted to” isn’t acceptable.

Do You Want The Same Things?

Do you both want the same things?

The first question you need to ask yourself before moving in with your boyfriend is whether or not you want the same things. What do you expect to be the outcome of moving in together? Do you want marriage? Do you want children? Or, are you just in the market for someone to live with, without expectations of marriage?

This is a question you must discuss with him, but not before you answer it for yourself. Be honest with yourself. Don’t answer in the way you think will get you closer to him. Know going in what you want out of your relationship with him.

Once you’ve figured that out, make sure you both want the same things. Each of you need to be honest with yourselves and one another.

How Will You Handle The Finances?

Before moving in together, you need to determine who will handle the finances. Will you put all of the utilities and lease in both names or one? Will you create a joint checking account or divide things up between you?

Money can become a great divider in a relationship if you don’t sort things out. One of you will feel like you’re carrying more of the burden than the other. Make sure you know what you can afford and look into all of the expenses ahead of time so nobody is blindsided.

Another thing to keep in mind where finances are concerned is to make sure you’re not getting involved with someone whose credit score is in the toilet. Yours should already be in good shape because you know how important I’ve said finances are in a relationship.

How Will You Divide The Chores?

Where do you stand on household chores?

Who hasn’t seen The Break-Up with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston? What is her number one issue with him, other than his obvious immaturity? He doesn’t help with anything around their apartment. While she slaves away, he plays video games and forgets to get the lemons.

While it’s funny when we see it on the big screen, this is the stuff that causes plates to go airborne and cabinet doors to become unhinged. It can be a huge friction point.

You probably both work so be reasonable about what to expect from one another. Try making the chores fun instead of drudgery. When you talk about this, you may find that he doesn’t mind doing the dishes if you cook or vice versa. Just have the talk.

Where Do You Both Need To Compromise?

In any relationship, compromise is a big deal. Up until now, your biggest compromises were where to eat dinner and which movie to see. Now that you’re thinking about moving in together, there will be a lot more areas in which compromise will be necessary.

Where do you both stand on cleanliness?

I turn again to a movie, but an oldie. When Harry Met Sally, they had friends who ended up living together. If you’ve seen it, the wagon wheel table scene sticks in your mind for sure.

Billy Crystal losing his sh*t over a table is just classic!

Don’t let things get this far. Get a storage unit to store things you’re not quite ready to part with. Who has the couch you’ll use? Whose bed?

What of his are you willing to let in if he allows your entire shoe collection?

How Will You Handle Disagreements?

Now that you’ll be living together, you can’t each retreat to your own homes when you have a fight. You need to set up a plan ahead of time. I suggest that you each claim a space where you can retreat to cool off. If you’ve got the space available in the apartment, you can each choose a separate room to use.

Men need time after an argument to lick their wounds and you need time to cool your emotions. No productive conversation ever came out of highly emotional situations.

If you don’t have space in your apartment for both of you to retreat, make another plan like one of you will head out with friends, to the library, gym or spa. Give yourselves time and then sit down to discuss things calmly.

Are You Willing To Live With One Another’s Idiosyncrasies?

This is another biggie. You know there are things about him that bug you and I have no doubt there are things you do that drive him nuts. And these are the only things you know about!

What you need to determine now is whether or not you can live with those idiosyncrasies. If you can’t, you need to talk them through. There is nothing wrong with a conversation that starts out with, “Do you think you can set your phone aside during dinner?” or “I’d really appreciate it if you’d lower the toilet seat after you use it.”

I snore, so I get sent down the hall to sleep!

By the same token, when he asks you to change, you need to decide whether or not he’s worth you putting in the effort. Change happens because we want to change, not because someone wants us to.

Are You Both On The Same Page About What Clean Means?

If you’re a neat freak and he’s a Messy Marvin, you’re doomed for big arguments. Before you move in with your boyfriend, you need to determine what each of you thinks of as clean. This is another area where you both may need to compromise.

Be clear on what you define as clean and hear him out. If he’s OCD about having the kitchen counters clean, can you live with that? Can you struggle through a week of a dirty bathroom or does it need to be spot-cleaned? Does anyone have an allergy that needs to be addressed with cleaning?

When you each know what the other expects, there are no surprises. When all of his t-shirts are piled up at the end of the bed, remember that you agreed to step over them.

Moving In With Your Boyfriend | Cats or Dogs?

There are cat people. There are dog people and there are animal people. I don’t know why cat people and dog people can’t get along but, sadly, they can’t. You get together and you want to get a cute furry pet together. You’re thinking Yorkie, he’s thinking Siamese.

Is he a dog person?

Discuss your pet preferences. This is an important thing to do before you get a place together anyway because if you want a dog or a cat, it will limit your options. Some places only allow dogs up to 35 or 40 pounds.

Know what you both want in this area and, if you do get a pet, who will take responsibility for what? Who’s buying food? Which one is paying the vet bills? Who’s walking and picking up Fido’s poo?

What Night Is Reserved For Date Night?

People often give up their date nights when they get married or move in together. This is a huge mistake. Just because you live together doesn’t mean you’re spending that much more time together, and the time you do spend is now spent on chores more often than not.

Set aside one night a week for a date night. This night is untouchable. You don’t schedule Zumba and he doesn’t go out with his buddies on this night. This is a technology-free night where you sit down and talk, like you did when you weren’t living together.

Issues of the house are off-limits on date night, as is arguing. This is a time to connect, share your week, make plans and just enjoy one another.

There You Have It – Your Moving in with Your Boyfriend Checklist of Questions

Please, please, do you self a favor and get these 10 questions answered before moving in with your boyfriend. If the two of you can sit down and talk through these 10, you’ll be well on your way to a successful experience.

The biggest thing you need to remember as you talk is that compromise will be necessary, from both of you.

Be honest with yourself and with one another and talk things through. If an argument erupts, stop the conversation and save it for another day. Don’t do this if you can’t agree on the topics above. They will ultimately be deal breakers.

The post 10 Questions To Answer Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? 5 Guys Chime in with Your Answer

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? 5 Guys Chime in with Your Answer

Sally emailed me and asked this: “Gregg, lately I have noticed that the last two guys I dated, one I liked and one I really didn’t, seemed to ignore me. I’m not a chaser and I didn’t do anything creepy to scare them off. Why do guys ignore me?  -any thoughts?”

I decided to ask my personal male friends about this one and get their perspective.

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #1: He Is Trying To Play things Cool

We all agreed on this one. A guy will be hesitant to show his feelings for you, even though he likes you. Men are insecure too. A guy just hopes you will show him signs so he can reciprocate. What happens? You both think the other isn’t into you, so you each take this as rejection.

Another reason he may be trying to play it cool is because he may be experiencing emotions he’s uncomfortable with. He’s not really ignoring you – he’s processing these new emotions.

To move past this awkward stage, one of you needs to show clear interest. In the early stages of meeting a guy, I say go overboard so he gets it. Then, you can back off and let him pursue.

How To Crack The Code Of Men’s Feelings

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #2: His Ego Got Hurt

One negative statement can send a man off to his mancave! If you say something negative that pertains to his skills in the bedroom, physical features, lack of a good job, or motivation, it could send him reeling.

Why Do Men Hide Their Feelings?

Scold him and he will withdraw!

The funny thing is that you probably have no idea how easily a man’s feelings can be hurt. You don’t understand how fragile the male ego can be in these areas. You see men as being strong – they don’t get hurt like women do.

This is wrong. Men do get hurt and when they do, it takes them longer to recover because they aren’t comfortable processing those emotions. They don’t share these emotions with their male friends most of the time like you do.

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #3: I Thought She was Taken

My single friend, Glen came up with the answer to this question and we all agreed. When a man sees a woman with one man or a group of men, he assumes she is dating one of them.

You might think your flirting with him will tell him otherwise but the truth is that if you’re with another man, all other men in the room will think you’re trying to make the other guy jealous. He will ignore you and move on.

If you’re a woman who has a lot of male friends, you need to forget meeting Mr. Right when you’re all out together. The best solution is to out with your girlfriends and leave the guys back to watch sports and eat pizza!

Body Language That Says He Likes You

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #4: I’m To Afraid I’ll Get Shot Down In Front Of My Friends

Guys fear rejection so they will ignore women

While we all laughed at this answer, it’s true! A guy will ignore you because of his insecurities around his friends. The last thing a man wants to do is approach a woman he finds attractive and be rejected – especially around his friends.

A man wants a sure bet. He needs to know that when he approaches you, you will not ignore him. To do this, you need to make it obvious you like him by smiling, walking by him and leaving space near you so he can approach.

Men are not mind readers! What you think is obvious he thinks is directed to the guy next to him! Make it clear that you like him.

Men And Rejection

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #5: He Just Doesn’t Care About Your Shoes!

My friend Kevin was brutally honest – apologies to his wife if she’s reading! A man’s patience for listening to you talk about topics he doesn’t understand or care about is very limited.

I had an ex who went on and on about the shoes she bought and how the outfit matched the shoes and how the price was so great she just had to buy the whole deal. I couldn’t have cared less.

All I wanted her to do was wear the outfit and stop talking about it. I didn’t care that it all matched or that it was a great bargain.

A man cares that you look great but he doesn’t care how you got there. He wants to show off his great-looking girlfriend to his buddies, but he is clueless about matchy-matchy outfits.

8 Questions ALL Men Would Like Women To Answer

Why Do Guys Ignore Me? Reason #6: He Got Jealous

When asked why he ignores his girlfriend, my friend Chris said it’s because he’s competitive. He doesn’t like to see other men flirting with his girlfriend. This is true of all men. While he wants other men to be jealous of him because he has the best girl in the room, he does not want to feel that jealousy himself!

What a man wants is for you to say, “Sorry but I already have a great boyfriend” to the man who is flirting with her. An added bonus would be a kick in the groin, but he knows, deep down inside that you’re not going to do that.

At the same time, his jealousy tells you something important. Here are 15 Tell-Tale Signals To Tell You A Guy Likes You.

So Sally, I hope I have helped answer your question and you now have a better understanding of why guys ignore the women they like.

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