Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 10
November 9, 2019
Should I Tell Him How I Feel?
I get the “Should I Tell Him How I Feel?” question all the time from women who are scared to share their feelings with a man they like.
They ask:
“What about the game Gregg?”
“What about the challenge and keeping the mystery you always talk about?”
Or
“Shouldn’t he make the first move?”
I get it. And, yes, I have said those things – so let’s clear things up now.
It’s how you act after you make it clear that matters! If you tell a man you have feelings for him and start texting him to death, lining up dates, and stalking his ex, yes you will chase the horse out of the barn.
BUT,
If you say, “Jim, I’m starting to like your shapely ass”, and back off, amazing things could happen. He will expect you to start texting him a million times and, instead, he is shocked that the opposite happens – you go back to your amazing fun-filled life where you are happy with or without his shapely ass.
Do you see the difference? You bulldoze through the friendship crap and you open the door to love while you create challenge and mystery.
You put the ball in his court to do what he wants with it. If he does nothing, then you try one more time two weeks later, or you move on without any hurt.
Then, you do it again with another man who gets your attention.
Should I Tell Him How I Feel?
The key is developing a vibrant social life so you have these opportunities. Next, have the confidence to tell men how you feel without taking a hit if you don’t get your desired outcome.
Put these two things in place and the rest is easy!
How?
Get your confidence here.
Get your social life here.
The alternative? Wait, wonder and hope he makes the first move.
Flirt endlessly.
Both suck! Get it over with.
Tell him how you feel. I guarantee you will be shocked by the outcome. You’ll find that the guy you thought wanted nothing to do with you wants to grab a pizza this weekend.
And, you’ll feel great about yourself for doing what few women dare try!
Oh, and what’s the worst outcome? He smiles and you never hear from him again? Big friggin’ deal. Stop allowing yourself to imagine the worst outcome and start envisioning the best outcome. In fact, do this with any decision you make.
So, should I tell him how I feel?
The answer is a resounding yes!
The post Should I Tell Him How I Feel? appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
October 7, 2019
The Ultimate Collection of Fall Date Night Ideas for Married Couples
I don���t know about where you live, but in New England, fall is a beautiful time of year and it can also be a very romantic time as fireplaces begin to blaze and the beautiful colors of autumn dance across the landscape.
It���s a great time to get back into the date night habit or start one if you haven���t put one in place. I���ve compiled this list of date night ideas for you and, I���ve even got a free bucket list printable for you to jot down the ideas you���d like to use!
Spend Time Outdoors Together
Find your way through a corn maze together ��� no maps allowed
Date night idea – Go through a haunted house together
Find a local harvest festival or county fair
Make a bonfire and snuggle under a blanket ��� don���t forget the s���mores
Have a pumpkin carving contest
Rake a big pile of leaves and jump into it
Get or make Halloween costumes for a famous pair or couple
Attend a local high school football game on Homecoming night
Go on a hayride ��� evening if possible, for added romance
Visit a local farmer���s market
Camp out in the backyard on a clear night and do some star gazing
Take an autumn walk in the woods
Have a scary movie marathon on Halloween
Do a pumpkin beer tasting night
Find a local Renaissance Festival, dress up and go
Go apple picking
Find a local pumpkin patch and pick your own pumpkins
Have a fall picnic
Three words ��� bob for apples
Make scarecrows out of old clothing or thrift store duds
Have a drive-in movie date
Go on a bike ride together on a local trail
Take a cool night dip in the hot tub
Hire a photographer or ask a friend to do some outdoor fall photos of the two of you
Take a walk in the woods and gather some fall flowers and leaves for an arrangement at home
Go tailgating with friends at a local sporting event
Gather friends for a fun, fall flag football game
Take a hot air balloon ride together
Start a Giving Plate tradition ��� fill a plate with goodies and a note for the recipient to keep the treats, refill the plate and pass it on to someone else
Fly kites
Go to an outdoor adventure park and embark in some risk-taking adventures
Play mini golf before the cold weather sets in (if you get cold weather, that is)
Download your FREE Fall Bucket List Worksheet
Spend Time Indoors Together Date Night Ideas
Go to a used bookstore and find books you can read together during the cooler weather
Stay in and cook a cozy meal together
Bake your favorite gooey baked treat together
Gather some friends and go bowling
Make a Halloween Haunted House with candy (like a gingerbread house)
Start a gratitude journal
Find a hobby you can share or combine hobbies you both have and spend that time together
Set up a hot chocolate bar and invite friends over
Decorate for fall together
Invite friends over and host a chili cook-off
Take a class together ��� photography, cooking, etc.
Light a fire, put on the cozy socks and snuggle with a movie binge and some popcorn
Great date night idea! Breakfast in bed ��� pumpkin donuts and warm apple cider
Create your own fall cocktail together
Learn how to brew your own autumn beer
Host a Halloween costume party for your friends
Pass out Halloween candy to Trick or Treaters���in costume (but don���t scare the little ones)
Find an autumn theme puzzle and spend a chilly weekend in putting it together
Have a Michael Jackson���s Thriller dance move competition
Stay in and watch favorite seasonal cartoons ��� The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, etc.
Invite friends over for a board game night or play with just the two of you
Go to a local comedy club together
Visit a local roller-skating rink
Make your own pizzas together
Cook through a recipe book together
Learn more about wines with weekly wine tasting
Go to the theater or opera
Go to a live music venue and hang out with friends
Have friends over for a trivia night
Hang out at a local arcade and play games
Find an area of your lives you want to improve and watch TED talks on the subject
Learn a foreign language together ��� then plan a trip to that country
Have a fondue dinner together
Go rock climbing together
Plan a weekly ethnic food tour with different regions each week
Do a progressive dinner night with friends ��� have a different course at each home
Get your FREE Fall Bucket List Worksheet
Road Trippin���
Take an autumn scenic drive when the leaves are in full color
Do a tour of covered bridges
Tour local wineries
Take a tour of local ghost sites in your area
Visit the Kentucky Bourbon trail and warm up with some great bourbon
Tour an historic town
Find a romantic bed and breakfast and spend the weekend by the fire relaxing
Head to the mountains and watch the sunrise together
Go camping or find a cabin in the woods for the weekend
Revisit your high school or college alma mater and go to a football game
Visit a neighboring town and go antiquing
Oktoberfest ��� local or ��� what the heck, go to Germany!
Spend the day kayaking or canoeing
Visit an art museum, arboretum or science museum together
Travel to see a concert of your favorite group
Take a trip by train (be sure to get a sleeper car!)
Date Night Ideas for Married Couples that Give Back
Build a Habitat for Humanity project together
Volunteer for a local Meals on Wheels or soup kitchen together
Visit a local animal shelter and help with the pets
Go to a local nursing home and play games with the residents
Go to New York City for the Thanksgiving Day Parade
Don’t forget your FREE Fall Bucket List Worksheet
Bring the Romance Back with a Few Hot Date Night Ideas
Strip poker, or strip any game
Do movie night in bed
Get a couple���s massage ��� better yet, give one another a massage
Dance together at home or go out dancing
Plan your future
Start a couple���s journal together
Get all dressed up for a night on the town ��� order in
Read a romantic book together
Share a bubble bath together with candles, wine and lots of heat
Practice your kissing
Write love letters to each other
Snuggle under a blanket fort
Play truth or dare
Two cans of whipped cream = whipped cream fight! How you get it off is up to you!
Start writing to each other in a couples journal
Create a bucket list and start checking off your adventures!
A relationship takes work. But it can be fun work if you know how to go about it and my date night ideas are just what the therapist ordered! My relationship thrives because we make each other our priority. I want to share with you the secrets to bulletproof yours.
Careers, kids, and everyday stress can take its toll on the communication between you. That���s why you need these date night ideas for married couples and what better time to start then fall in America!
Download your FREE Fall Bucket List Worksheet
The post The Ultimate Collection of Fall Date Night Ideas for Married Couples appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
The Ultimate Collection of Fall Date Night Ideas for Couples
I don���t know about where you live, but in New England, fall is a beautiful time of year and it can also be a very romantic time as fireplaces begin to blaze and the beautiful colors of autumn dance across the landscape.
It���s a great time to get back into the date night habit or start one if you haven���t put one in place. I���ve compiled this list of ideas for you and, I���ve even got a free bucket list printable for you to jot down the ideas you���d like to use!
Spend Time Outdoors Together
Find your way through a corn maze together ��� no maps allowed
Date night idea – Go through a haunted house together
Find a local harvest festival or county fair
Make a bonfire and snuggle under a blanket ��� don���t forget the s���mores
Have a pumpkin carving contest
Rake a big pile of leaves and jump into it
Get or make Halloween costumes for a famous pair or couple
Attend a local high school football game on Homecoming night
Go on a hayride ��� evening if possible, for added romance
Visit a local farmer���s market
Camp out in the backyard on a clear night and do some star gazing
Take an autumn walk in the woods
Have a scary movie marathon on Halloween
Do a pumpkin beer tasting night
Find a local Renaissance Festival, dress up and go
Go apple picking
Find a local pumpkin patch and pick your own pumpkins
Have a fall picnic
Three words ��� bob for apples
Make scarecrows out of old clothing or thrift store duds
Have a drive-in movie date
Go on a bike ride together on a local trail
Take a cool night dip in the hot tub
Hire a photographer or ask a friend to do some outdoor fall photos of the two of you
Take a walk in the woods and gather some fall flowers and leaves for an arrangement at home
Go tailgating with friends at a local sporting event
Gather friends for a fun, fall flag football game
Take a hot air balloon ride together
Start a Giving Plate tradition ��� fill a plate with goodies and a note for the recipient to keep the treats, refill the plate and pass it on to someone else
Fly kites
Go to an outdoor adventure park and embark in some risk-taking adventures
Play mini golf before the cold weather sets in (if you get cold weather, that is)
Spend Time Indoors Together Date Night Ideas
Go to a used bookstore and find books you can read together during the cooler weather
Stay in and cook a cozy meal together
Bake your favorite gooey baked treat together
Gather some friends and go bowling
Make a Halloween Haunted House with candy (like a gingerbread house)
Start a gratitude journal
Find a hobby you can share or combine hobbies you both have and spend that time together
Set up a hot chocolate bar and invite friends over
Decorate for fall together
Invite friends over and host a chili cookoff
Take a class together ��� photography, cooking, etc.
Light a fire, put on the cozy socks and snuggle with a movie binge and some popcorn
Great date night idea! Breakfast in bed ��� pumpkin donuts and warm apple cider
Create your own fall cocktail together
Learn how to brew your own autumn beer
Host a Halloween costume party for your friends
Pass out Halloween candy to Trick or Treaters���in costume (but don���t scare the little ones)
Find an autumn theme puzzle and spend a chilly weekend in putting it together
Have a Michael Jackson���s Thriller dance move competition
Stay in and watch favorite seasonal cartoons ��� The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, etc.
Invite friends over for a board game night or play with just the two of you
Go to a local comedy club together
Visit a local roller-skating rink
Make your own pizzas together
Cook through a recipe book together
Learn more about wines with weekly wine tasting
Go to the theater or opera
Go to a live music venue and hang out with friends
Have friends over for a trivia night
Hang out at a local arcade and play games
Find an area of your lives you want to improve and watch TED talks on the subject
Learn a foreign language together ��� then plan a trip to that country
Have a fondue dinner together
Go rock climbing together
Plan a weekly ethnic food tour with different regions each week
Do a progressive dinner night with friends ��� have a different course at each home
Road Trippin���
Take an autumn scenic drive when the leaves are in full color
Do a tour of covered bridges
Tour local wineries
Take a tour of local ghost sites in your area
Visit the Kentucky Bourbon trail and warm up with some great bourbon
Tour an historic town
Find a romantic bed and breakfast and spend the weekend by the fire relaxing
Head to the mountains and watch the sunrise together
Go camping or find a cabin in the woods for the weekend
Revisit your high school or college alma mater and go to a football game
Visit a neighboring town and go antiquing
Oktoberfest ��� local or ��� what the heck, go to Germany!
Spend the day kayaking or canoeing
Visit an art museum, arboretum or science museum together
Travel to see a concert of your favorite group
Take a trip by train (be sure to get a sleeper car!)
Date Night Ideas that Give Back
Build a Habitat for Humanity project together
Volunteer for a local Meals on Wheels or soup kitchen together
Visit a local animal shelter and help with the pets
Go to a local nursing home and play games with the residents
Go to New York City for the Thanksgiving Day Parade
Bring the Romance Back
Strip poker, or strip any game
Do movie night in bed
Get a couple���s massage ��� better yet, give one another a massage
Dance together at home or go out dancing
Plan your future
Start a couple���s journal together
Get all dressed up for a night on the town ��� order in
Read a romantic book together
Share a bubble bath together with candles, wine and lots of heat
Practice your kissing
Write love letters to each other
Snuggle under a blanket fort
Play truth or dare
Two cans of whipped cream = whipped cream fight! How you get it off is up to you!
Start writing to each other in a couples journal
Create a bucket list and start checking off your adventures!
A relationship takes work. But it can be fun work if you know how to go about it and my date night ideas are just what the therapist ordered! My relationship thrives because we make each other our priority. I want to share with you the secrets to bulletproof yours.
Careers, kids, and everyday stress can take its toll on the communication between you. That���s why you need date night ideas and what better time to start then fall in America!
The post The Ultimate Collection of Fall Date Night Ideas for Couples appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
October 4, 2019
4 Ways to Bring Out the Hero Instinct in a Man
What the heck is hero instinct? Let me explain.
Many men long to be a hero in everyday life – we live vicariously through the super heroes of our past.�� The reality is that we are pretty safe these days so saving the world probably isn’t going to happen. But we would still like to be a real-life hero with the woman we love or might soon meet.
Have you noticed that almost all men have a hero? In high school, my hero was Bobby Orr, who played for the Boston Bruins. As a kid my hero was Batman, and there were many more throughout my youth.
Today I fantasize about being a hero in everyday life ��� taking out a terrorist or rescuing some elderly person from an attacker. The hero instinct resides in all men.
I sometimes think about what it would be like to be The Terminator!
Sure, the reality is that I might wet my pants and run, but I still want to believe I can be that hero.
It would make me feel great if I were to get treated as a hero sometimes, and if that someone was female, I would be very attracted to her.
How can you use this to your advantage and find a great guy?
Make him your hero!
But your instincts and upbringing say otherwise. You want to give everything to your man and ask for little. You want to take care of him.
I get it, but quite often this attracts the takers and not the heroes.
Find the Right Man by Triggering his Hero Instincts
Compliment Him
Hero instincts get fired-up by compliments, but you must choose the right compliments for them to be meaningful. Tell a carpenter he has great woodworking skills and he���ll think, ���Eh���I hear that all the time.��� Tell him you admire how considerate he is to the people he meets and BAM���hero instinct!
Like everything else I teach you, use compliments sparingly or they lose their impact.
Target your compliments in areas he might not otherwise receive them in, to ensure you���re the only person he���s hearing it from.
Challenge Him
Superman didn���t just show up for anything ��� he showed up when there was no one else who could save the world from evil!�� Do the same thing ��� well, in a 21st century way of course.
Challenge him to a game of racquetball or a hotdog eating contest. Make him ���put on his cape��� and defeat the enemy (the hotdog) or lose the girl.
Ask for Help
Women rarely ask for help, and I don���t understand why. Maybe it���s because you are so independent that you feel you���re all set in life. This may be true but, for the sake of Gotham City, ask him for help!
Guys fix things. It���s what we are built for. Kitchen sinks, moving furniture, mowing lawns, and bathing your dog are ways we show that we like you.
Yeah, it���s not as romantic as flowers and chocolate but it is our way of saving you from the evil world.
Let him help you and trigger his hero instinct so he stays with you and craves more!
Hero Instinct – Make Him Work for You
���Nothing worthwhile comes without a fight.��� These words should be on everyone���s mirror ��� they���re on mine!
Make him recognize that you���re not some ���placeholder girl��� until someone new and better comes along. You are a keeper and to keep you means he needs to stay on his toes!
Do this by keeping and returning to your vibrant social life outside of his.
Here are a few more ways to show that you are keeper:
Break your routine ��� when he zigs, you zag!
Change your look. It���s fun
Stay positive even when the world around you is in a constant state of misery
Be open to all ideas and be open to trying new things
Thrive outside your comfort zone
Take on new hobbies and adventures so you always have stories to tell!
Hero Instinct Conclusion
Most women don���t even understand the hero instinct inside men. If they did, they would lock onto it and keep it alive! The women who understand this concept are the keepers ��� you know, they are the women that always seem to get the guy.
When a man doesn���t feel the hero instinct stirred within, he might start to look elsewhere. And its so simple to stir! It���s almost comical like the marvel comics he still loves.
The post 4 Ways to Bring Out the Hero Instinct in a Man appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
September 7, 2019
Journaling Techniques That Work!
Whether it’s a couples journal or a personal one starting a journal is like starting a new workout ��� you need great journaling techniques! Otherwise, it���s great at first but fizzles out fast and before you know it, the excitement and consistency wane into more of a meh kind of feeling.
Well, there are too many benefits to both journaling and exercise to give up so quickly, so today I have some journaling techniques to keep you on track.
Journaling Technique #1: Don���t Make Your Journal Too Large
You���ll see why this is such a big deal in a minute. Your first journal doesn���t need to be a full-size notebook. The pages are larger to fill, and it takes up more space.
Instead, go for a smaller journal. Most discount and drug stores carry notebooks in a variety of sizes. Go for one that���s big enough to write in but not so big that it feels intimidating.
Keep Your Journal with You
Now you see why I suggested a small journal. A small journal is easy to stuff into your handbag, bookbag or even a back pocket. You can easily carry it with you wherever you go, and I strongly recommend doing so.
You never know when a moment will pass by that you would like to remember. Writing about it in your journal can help you recall the memory.
Don���t Create Too Many Rules for Yourself
If you���re one who likes to make rules, pay attention to these journaling tips:
I will write in it every morning as soon as I wake up
I will write two pages every day
I won���t write negative things
I will only write about personal stuff, not work
The problem with ���rules��� like these is that once you break the rules you established, you���ll be less likely to continue.
It���s like eating a big piece of chocolate cake while you���re dieting. As soon as you���ve broken your no sugar rule, you figure the whole thing is a huge waste of time anyway and you give up.
Write in your journal when it fits each day. One day, it might be first thing while another day might be a lunchtime entry.
Setting a rule about how many pages to write can be a good thing, but it can also force you to give up if you feel you don���t have anything to say that day. Whatever length of journal entry you choose for that day is fine.
Review Your Journal Entries
Of all the journaling techniques here, this is one of my favorites.
Go over your entries at the end of the week and look for repeating words or themes. For example, if you find yourself writing a lot about being tired, you can look back on the week and see what may have happened to make you feel so tired. Perhaps there���s something you can fix.
You may find yourself using negative self-talk in a journal. This is something to observe and fix as soon as possible. If you���re writing it down, it���s also banging around in your head. Turning your negative self-talk into positive self-talk is key to mental health.
Another Key Journaling Tip: Create a Journaling Space
You can really write in your journal anywhere, but if possible, set aside a place where you can tune out the noises around you and focus on your thoughts. This is a great journaling technique for those who live in a busy household!
I had a friend who used her oversized closet for her journaling and meditation spot. She cleared out a corner and put a comfy chair inside. She was able to use the light already in the closet and made this space all about peaceful thoughtfulness.
If you prefer to be outdoors, find a spot where you can feel calm and peaceful. Wherever you decide to write is fine, as long as it���s a spot that is as isolated from distractions as possible.
Alternatively, you can journal at a time of day where you experience fewer distractions like first thing in the morning or after everyone else has gone to bed.
Redefine Journal to Fit Your Needs
This is an important journaling technique for people who struggle for topics! Your journal doesn���t need to be the same thing, day after day.
Use it as a brain dump space. Write lists of things you want to do. Write your goals or dreams. Today is my grandmother���s birthday, so when I wrote in my journal, I wrote about my fond memories of her.
There are truly no rules about journaling. Nobody needs to read what you write so write for you and you alone. Put down whatever is weighing on your mind at that moment.
Don���t Make It a Negativity Space
Of all the journaling techniques here, this one is probably the most important!
It���s fine to write about something bad that happens in a day, but your journal should not be a daily dose of what���s wrong with my life.
If you find yourself in this mode, shift gears and write some statements of gratitude. What can you be grateful for today?
Gratitude is very powerful for positive mental health. It helps you focus on the good things that are happening in your life. Even if you���re grateful for a box of tissues or a roll of toilet paper, be grateful!
There are days when your entries will be about something bad that happened and that���s fine, all I ask is that this journal doesn���t become a place to wallow in self-pity or complain continuously about everything that���s wrong in your life.
Find Writing Prompts
Pinterest is full of journal writing prompts for all types of occasions. It won���t take but a minute or two to find lists of 30 or more prompts you can use. I like to list them in my journal at the beginning of the month and then go through them, writing about a new one each day.
This not only helps me dig into topics I might otherwise avoid, but it also helps me avoid the plague of the blank page.
Make it a Judgment-Free Zone: Journaling Technique for Building Confidence
Your journal should be something you are free to write, draw or be creative in. You can make an entire entry by drawing a picture or writing and then painting over it with gesso.
Whatever you do in your journal, though, don���t sit back and judge it after. No, ���I never should have written that about Julie���s boyfriend. He���s not so bad.���
If it���s a thought you had and it was important enough to write it down, leave it and don���t sweat it. It���s not like your friend will read the entry.
Journaling Technique: Allow Your Thoughts to Go Where They Go
Sometimes, we try to avoid unpleasant thoughts, but if you start writing in a journal, your mind might just take off on a tangent. This mother of all journaling techniques is about letting your thoughts wander wherever they go without slamming on the brakes because it gets uncomfortable.
Something might be eating away at you and if you start writing, it just might pop out. It can be very freeing to write about things like that ��� things that are bothering you.
Sometimes, you don���t even know what is bothering you until you start writing and then, there it is, big as you please, staring back at you on the page.
That���s the point at which you just kind of say, ���Well hmm. So that���s where that is coming from!���
Important Journaling Technique for Those Who Don���t Like Mistakes: Use a Pen
It���s easy to erase things you wish you hadn���t written, but the truth is that if they came out while journaling, they needed to be said.
Therefore, use a pen or marker to write in your journal. Again, if you get on Pinterest, you will find tons of examples of journal pages done in a multitude of color.
This isn���t necessary, but if it helps you, go for it. Some people are more visual than others and they enjoy this type of thing.
Me? I���m a guy. Just give me a pen that writes and I���m all set.
How Can You Make a Habit out of Journaling?
You���ve got a few journaling tips under your belt so now let���s look at how you can make this a habit!
It can take up to two months or even a little longer to make something into a habit so how can you make a habit out of journaling?
Decorate the Cover
This is a great journaling technique for those who are creative ��� and even those who aren���t for that matter.
Make the journal fit you. Grab some decorative paper at the hobby store or some of that washi tape stuff (what the heck is washi tape anyway?) and decorate your journal. If it���s a plain cover, draw on it or glue pictures on it.
Whatever you do, make it something you like to look at. Make it feel more like it belongs to you.
One caution, however, would be to make sure your embellishments won���t get damaged when you carry your journal around.
Try to Journal at The Same Time Every Day
I know in the journaling techniques above, I said no rules and I don���t want you to make this a rule. It���s more about fitting journaling into your routine. Is this something you could wake up fifteen minutes early for? Is it something you can do as soon as you get to work, before everyone else gets there?
Try to figure out where in your daily routine journaling fits so it���s not so hard to make it part of your day.
Schedule an Appointment with Your Journal
Once you know where it fits into your daily routine, set an appointment on your phone calendar so you get a daily reminder.
If nothing else, it will be annoying enough to at least give it some consideration. After it becomes part of your daily routine, you won���t need the appointment any longer and you can delete it.
Give It Priority in Your Life
All the journaling techniques in the world won���t make a whit of difference if journaling isn���t a priority in your life, so make it a priority.
Know why you want to do it and what value it has to you. If this isn���t something that is important to you, you won���t do it. Know the why for you.
Make It for You
Don���t do this for anyone else but you. If you are journaling because someone told you to or because someone urged you for some reason or another, you won���t make it a week before you toss it aside.
Make this something you do for you ��� a form of self-care. If there is nothing else you do in your day for yourself, do this for you.
The post Journaling Techniques That Work! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
August 23, 2019
Bucket List Journal and Why You Need One!
The movie The Bucket List sort of brought forth this idea of making a list of things you want to experience before you die or kick the bucket. In the movie, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson play hospital roomies, both terminal. Nicholson���s very wealthy character decides he needs a bucket list and, with time, the much poorer (financially) Freeman secretly creates his own list.
The two break out of hospital and begin their adventure of ticking items off their lists. The fun part is that the items on their bucket lists aren���t the items many people put on their own lists today. Here���s a sampling of the bucket lists from the movie:
Witness something truly majestic
Help a complete stranger
Laugh until I cry
Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
Drive a Shelby Mustang
Get a tattoo
Skydiving
Visit Stonehenge
Find the joy in your life
Drive a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China
There were a few others, but this is most of the list. I show you this not to brag about some movie knowledge ��� heck I had to google this stuff. I show you this because several of the items on this list are truly remarkable experiences most of us won���t think to include.
Should You Create a Bucket List?
If you���re really asking me my opinion, then yes, I believe you should create a bucket list. However, having said that, I believe you should carefully consider what you put on your bucket list journal.
Creating a bucket list is another way of saying you are setting goals for yourself and this is never a bad thing.
When you set goals as an individual, you build your confidence and give your life purpose and direction.
When you set goals as a couple, you build lasting memories and intimacy.
There are other reasons to create a bucket list journal:
You begin to examine what you really want out of life
It helps you determine where you are today and where you want to be in the future
You become energized by the possibilities that lie before you
It allows you to look past your comfort zone and think outside your safe zone
You develop a sense of accomplishment as you tick off the items you���ve completed
It keeps you from becoming idle ��� there���s always something to work toward
You���re more interesting
What Should be On Your Bucket List?
What you put on your bucket list is entirely up to you, but I do have a few suggestions for you.
Rather than seeing how many outrageous trips to foreign places you can come up with, try to envision adventures that will truly add value to your life.
This may indeed be some trips to foreign countries or other states, but it might be things like you saw on the Bucket List movie list ��� things that are more meaningful and amazing.
If you didn���t see the movie, Jack Nicholson���s character accomplished kissing the most beautiful woman in the world by kissing his long-lost daughter. It wasn���t some celebrity or model ��� it was a healed relationship.
When you set goals, one characteristic they should have is that they���re attainable. The same goes for the items you place in your bucket list journal. Visiting the Louvre or riding a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China are fine if they���re attainable to you in the future and they are things you would really like to do!
The other ���rule��� of goal setting is that goals should be relevant to your life. Again, this should be true of your bucket list items. If you don���t really like airplanes that much, setting goals to fly all over the world seems like a waste of a dream.
Swim with the dolphins!
Now, overcoming your fear of flying is a mighty fine bucket list item, and maybe more relevant to your life, but that can be done at a local airport.
To create your list, imagine you have just weeks to live. Would you want to spend those weeks traveling? If so, go for it! If not, what would you like to do? Repair relationships? Make sure those closest to you know how much you care? Spend time with a loved one you don���t get to see very often?
How to Create Your Bucket List
There are as many ways to create a bucket list as there are people making them. My best tips for creating your own bucket list are:
Think about those people who are most important to you ��� how can you enrich those relationships?
Imagine your future. What do you dream of doing? Is it something you believe you will be able to do?
When you think about the legacy you would like to leave behind, what does that look like?
If you are in a relationship, how can the two of you build your foundation as a couple?
Find ten amazing things to do within an hour or two of your own home and consider doing them with either your partner or best friend or both
Are there relationships you���ve let slide over the years that you would like to rekindle? How can you do that?
Are there financial goals that will make your life easier, like zeroing your debt or building a savings?
Give yourself some time. A bucket list journal doesn���t form overnight. It will take time and introspection to come up with the list that���s right for you.
Bucket List Journal for Couples
If you���re in a relationship with someone, make your individual lists and make one together – a couples journal. There is no reason to give up on your own dreams just because you���ve got someone special in your life.
In fact, I encourage you to pursue your individual items separately. You can each schedule a week or two away at the same time, pursue one of your bucket list items and then return home to share your experiences!
This is a great way to keep the mystery and challenge of your relationship alive!
For the items you want to do together, prioritize and work together to accomplish those goals. It���s a great relationship-building activity!
Create that Bucket List and do it!
We humans have become robots. We wake up, go to work, come home and watch reality shows. Then we die.
Tomorrow, I challenge you to kill the routine! Brainstorm 100 bucket list items. Then, by the weekend, set goals towards a few and do them!
You will be amazed at what a bucket list will do for you!
The post Bucket List Journal and Why You Need One! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
August 1, 2019
Dating a Divorced Man? 10 Tips to Make it Work
You know the dangers of dating a divorced man from my last article, now let���s give you some tips on dating a divorced guy and making it last.
Some men need a second round to get it right
That means that timing is everything for you. Many of us get married too young and believe we have met our soulmate when, in fact, we were too young and immature to know what we wanted.
Now he does! So you need to be there. Not with some other version of you but you in all your glory.
Let him talk about his ex
Don���t feel challenged or threatened by his ex. Instead, listen to him, learn and apply what he says during his rants so you can be a better match for him than his ex was.
Of course, make sure your adaptations fit your values.
Stay incognito
Announcing your relationship to everyone might need to wait until he seals his divorce. He could have lawyers watching his every move to gain an advantage in custody battles and financials.
Also, his kids might be young, and he is not ready for you to meet them. Kids can become pawns and that is never fair. You would feel the same.
Appreciate his need for secrecy ��� it���s OK if you are on a steady path to becoming closer.
Lose the social media
We all love to show off our spectacular lives! But consider keeping things private between you by staying off social media until he has completely divorced both legally and emotionally.
Social media can have some unintended consequences. Friends and family might exaggerate the status of your relationship when this is not true.
He might feel like you are pushing him into something that he is not ready for even though it���s your peers on social media pushing the false narrative.
Post pics of you and your friends having fun instead. He will be watching!
Dating a divorced man | Don���t push marriage and kids
He���s been down that road and he might be a bit jaded to try again. This means he might not be your best choice if you want to get married and/or have kids.
This makes him a better candidate for a domestic partner. Accepting this going into the relationship will help align your expectations and make things successful.�� I see many successful relationships without the paper contract.
I also witness women thinking they can get a fifty-year-old divorced man to have more kids. Good luck.
Sure, some men are different and will remarry and have more kids. Just know that they are the exceptions in the bunch.
Be prepared to meet her
Yes, this might happen. Get ready for that possibility so you are not caught off guard.
This doesn���t have to be a bad experience, but it could be for her!
Make sure you treat her with dignity and respect and things should go fine. Remember, she might have been with your new man for years so cut her some slack if things get awkward. I have met my ex���s boyfriend and all was good.
Kids complicate things
Your kids might not accept him. His kids might not accept you. Talk about these things before the meet and greet so a plan can be made if things crash and burn.
By planning contingencies, the family dynamics can be figured out. In fact, they could be fun if you are both onboard!
Both of you may place priorities with your kids so discuss this too.
His apartment might have some of her memories
That���s OK to an extent. You don���t need to be throwing her shit into the trash because your jealous. That will only build contempt.
It���s normal for men to hold some things dear to them from their past ��� this doesn���t mean they are still in love. I still have pics of hiking Zion National Park with my ex. I don���t desire to be with her ��� I simply want to remember the experience in general.
When he is not looking, gradually throw her shit into the trash ����
Be you not her
You will learn what he loved about his ex ��� this could be difficult to handle. You may find that you want to emulate her to please him ��� Don���t!
As soon as you try to fulfill her shoes by acting like her you will be doomed. A confident woman never tries to be someone who she is not. She never compares herself to anyone either. She knows her value and she, not only stands by it, she flaunts it!
He chose you because you are different ��� not because he sees her inside you.
Live in the moment
I can���t express this enough. Forget reading the tea leaves of where the relationship is headed and live in the Power of Now!
Do this and the memories will start piling up and he will slowly start accepting you more and into his life. Simultaneously, he will start caring less for his ex.
I call these great memories Pennies in the Jar. The sooner you start making them the closer you will become.
Dating a divorced man
Most of us have had past relationships and that���s OK. In fact, it���s healthy. Dating a divorced man is no different. Just take your time with him. Slow your role. Let him replace her with you like ice cubes displace water in a glass and all will be well.
Push marriage, kids or get jealous out of the gate and you are going to have issues.
The post Dating a Divorced Man? 10 Tips to Make it Work appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
July 15, 2019
Dating a Recently Divorced Man? 4 Things you Should Know
You finally met a great guy after months of meeting frogs. This man showed up on time, smelled oh so good and holds a decent job. Congratulations! There is one small problem you didn���t know until now – you���re dating a recently divorced man.
You think, ���No big deal, he���s over her, he even says so.��� But a few dates pile up, and you start to realize that her name gets mentioned more often than it should from a man who is over her.
You begin to think maybe he isn���t quite over her, but you keep dating anyway.
The fact is that recently divorced or separated men cannot recover from their ex so quickly. Even if he hates her ��� he can���t be in the right frame of mind to see you. So how do you know if he���s ready to date?
Here are 4 things you need to know when dating a recently divorced man.
He isn���t looking at you through the proper lens
He doesn���t see you ��� he sees his ex and how you���re the same or different from her.
He���s still too close to his ex and instead of looking at you for who you are ��� he is comparing you to who he was with. That���s not fair to you.
You want him to see you so he can make a fair assessment of your compatibility, just as you���re doing with him. If he is newly divorced, you can bet that he is comparing your every move to his ex.
How you measure up to her in bed, eat your food, and dress all are all being compared to his ex. His head should be clear, so he looks at you without her involved.
Occasionally something will trigger a reaction that relates back to his ex, but you want these times to be few and far between.
When you���re dating a recently divorced man, the pendulum swings too far
A recently divorced man most often chooses someone who is the opposite of the last woman he was with. Not because he should, but because he thinks that will fix the issues he experienced in the relationship.
My friend just divorced after twelve years. His wife was a homebody. Once single, he immediately started dating a woman who was much wilder. He really thought that she was the answer.
She wasn���t. The pendulum had swung too far.
The odds of him flaking are increased
I see this repeatedly. A man who is recently divorced or separated starts blowing hot and cold. His emotions are all over the place and boom ��� he���s gone. The woman blames herself for this roller coaster of emotions.
But the problem lies inside him. He either misses his ex or despises her and takes it out on the new girl. He might have good days, but the bad days come along a little too often.
You don���t need this. Building a healthy, mature relationship is tough enough without the influx of his ex hanging in the wings.
His mouth gets ahead of his intentions
Another problem of dating a recently divorced man is that he wants to prove to himself that he isn���t a failure, and that he can love. ��So, he quickly jumps into the relationship making promises that seem too soon and promises he ultimately won���t keep.
I want you to meet my kids
Let���s take off to Vegas
I haven���t met a woman like you before
Can I see you tomorrow night too?
You get my point. His mouth moves and he might come through with an action or two, but overall, he is an empty suit who isn���t ready for a relationship.
So, what���s a girl to do when she finds herself dating a recently divorced man?
Slow your roll!
Find out his true situation by asking – in your womanly way of course.
Test him:
Does he talk about her too much?
Does he blow hot and cold?
Is his mouth getting ahead of his intentions?
Keep dating other men
The last thing you should do is put all your chips down on this guy. Nope. Have other men in your koi pond. This way if this guy flakes, it���s no big deal.
I know your gut tells you that if you date other men, he will bolt. That���s okay. If he does, he wasn���t really in it to date you long-term anyway.
A great guy, when inspired by the competition of other men in your life, will step up his game and try harder.
Avoid dating a recently divorced guy altogether
This might be the best idea yet. You don���t need this extra layer of crap added to the mix. Tell him to hit you up in six months or so when he is in a better spot.
He���ll fight you on it and say, blah, blah, but don���t buy what he is selling!
Let him go if he asks
I have a friend who was divorced several years ago. A couple years ago, she began dating a man who was still in the process of getting his divorce, which was taking a while.
They got along great, but one day, he came to her and told her he wanted to break things off. It was a friendly split and, as it turned out, they remained in contact.
What happened?
The finalization of his divorce came up and he needed to focus on that. Several months later, she was scheduled to have surgery.
He offered to take her to the surgery and bring her back to his house for the first few days of her recovery.
They���re back together. Why? Because he went, settled stuff with his ex, got over the marriage and was ready to date. He had done much of his getting over the ex before the divorce occurred so once it was over, he was ready to go!
Dating a recently divorced man final thought
Finding a man is hard in today’s dating jungle. You don���t need the added pressure of a man���s ex still in the picture. Stand tall and ask him about his past ��� most men will be all too happy to discuss the breakup especially if it is recent.
If his emotions are still tender then run!
The post Dating a Recently Divorced Man? 4 Things you Should Know appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
June 27, 2019
Good Night Messages for Him That will Keep You on His Mind!
Did you know that a good night message to your guy might be his most powerful memory of the day? So why not use this opportunity to make him feel good about himself and tell him how you feel.
Guys are more sensitive than women think, and they respond to words of appreciation. The key is to shoot him a good night message every now and then ��� don���t overdo it.
Whether you just met, or you have been in love for twenty years a good night message will take away his stress and have him dreaming about you.
Send it to him from the other side of the world or from the next room ��� but send it. He will love you for it.
Good Night Messages for Him
Today reminded me why I keep you around. Good night sweetie.
Tonight may have changed everything. Sleep tight my love.
What you accomplished today was amazing ��� you deserve to sleep well tonight.
I look forward to seeing your smile in the morning. Good night sweet darling.
I am blessed to have you in my life. Goodnight sweet baby.
Have you figured it out yet? I have. Sleep tight my prince.
May all your dreams come true tonight. I know mine have. Sleep well.
Rest my love. You deserve it.
I love you. And I will love you forever. Happy dreams!
Lights out my love. Can���t wait to take on the world with you tomorrow!
You had me when you smiled in my direction. Sweet thoughts my love.
Do you know who I want to spend my life with? Yes you! Good night darling ����
You still make my knees weak and my heart skip a beat. Good night my love.
Saturday can���t come quick enough. Sweet dreams.
Yeah, you���re kinda cute ��� but it���s your confidence that makes my heart flutter. See you in the morning!
I had a bad day today. Then, I saw you. Amazing! Good night baby.
A funny thing happened on a date tonight ��� I fell in love. Night. Night.
Dream about me tonight.
If you can dream it I can do it ��� as long as I am with you.
Two hearts became one this evening. Sleep well my love.
Lights out until we meet again tomorrow.
Guess what? I���ve decided to keep you. Good night my love.
Everyday my friends say how lucky I am to be with you. They are right. Sweet dreams Punky. (insert nickname)
Who is better than you? No one. Good night my knight.
If you only you knew the impact you have had on my life. I���ll show you firsthand in the morning.
At the end of a grinding day I am so blessed to come home to you. I will never take that for granted. Sweet dreams Mr. Jeff.
My lover and my best friend���forever. Sweet dreams.
You get better looking every day. I can���t wait to see you tomorrow! See you in the mornin��� my love.
I will miss you for these next eight hours ���� Good night honey.
I think my dog loves you too! Sleep tight dear.
Sometimes I snuggle on your chest when you are asleep. Your beating heart puts me to sleep.
Did you know we hold hands when you are asleep :)?
You are an amazing father and husband. I am blessed that the stars aligned and placed us together. Goodnight my superhero.
Millions of men are sleeping right now – but only the one reading this message matter to me. Good night.
These Good Night Messages for Him are Simple and Delightful – Try a Few!
I hope this list gives you some ideas that will let him know how you feel. Remember, it���s the simple things that get overlooked because we are so busy with our bustling lives. Slow things down at the end of the day and send him a good night message by voice or text.
If you do he will love you for it!
The post Good Night Messages for Him That will Keep You on His Mind! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.
June 10, 2019
Fun Ways to Practice Self Care for Women
When you think of self care, what comes to mind is probably not representative of what self care truly means. You might think that when I mention self care, I���m talking about taking some time out to pamper or indulge yourself.
Self care for women is actually more about understanding that you have worth and value as a human being and treating yourself accordingly.
Women tend to be better at nurturing others than they are at nurturing themselves. You���ll fill two water bottles a piece for your family members and forget to grab your own on your way to the ballpark.
You���ll make sure your husband or boyfriend has a healthy lunch packed while zipping out the door with a promise to make your own healthy lunch next time.
I know I���m right. I���ve got three sisters and a mother!
What if I could find ways for you to enjoy self care? Read some of the ideas below to see if any of these pique your interest.
Practice Self Care by Creating Your Own Chick Retreat
Guys have man caves, but women don���t usually take the time to designate a space for peace and tranquility.
One fun thing you can do is create your own chick retreat. It doesn���t need to be an entire room of your house, it could just be a corner of a room, a special chair or an hour where you fill the bathtub with hot water and lock the door!
I know a woman who had a large walk-in closet she stole away to use as her chick retreat. Her husband was dying of cancer and she needed a place to use as a quiet place for rest, relaxation and reflection.
Your retreat can be whatever you want, as long as it is a place you can use to recharge your batteries.
Read
Reading can be a very entertaining way to relax and recharge, especially if you enjoy books of a humorous or light-hearted nature.
Reading can also be a way to facilitate personal growth or inspire you to try new things. You can experience personal, spiritual, financial and intellectual growth by reading.
Use your reading time to forget about the stressors around you, relax and let go of the pressures of the day. Allow yourself to escape into another world, if only for 30 minutes a day, and grow as a woman.
Take Your Dream Car for a Test Drive
If you could own any car, what would it be? Why not take it for a test drive? There���s no rule that states you must buy a car you test drive! Even if this gives you just fifteen minutes of fun, it���s a temporary escape into your dream.
Go ahead – drive it!
If you believe in the Law of Attraction, this could even be a step toward owning that dream car. You never know!
Meanwhile, drive it like a boss! Smell the leather. Feel the way the car handles. Lose yourself in the experience. Relax and enjoy the ride! More importantly, remind yourself that you deserve nice things in your life.
Even if you can never afford to buy this car, you can save up to buy something nice for yourself.
Find or Pursue Your Passion
This is good for you in so many ways, it could be its own blog post, but instead, I���ll try to summarize here.
Following your passion helps you focus your time and energy on something you love and it���s a great escape for you when your guy is out with his friends or off licking his wounds after a missed promotion or lost competition.
When you are passionate about something, you begin to build your story, which is interesting to any man worth having. It gives you something to share and talk about and it helps you build your confidence in new areas.
Take up Journaling as a Method of Self Care
Journaling and using a planner are very popular activities right now. When I was young, my sisters all had those padded diaries with the cheap little locks. They wrote their deepest, darkest secrets in those journals with those fun four-color pens everyone had.
Journaling today is a creative endeavor where some people write while others draw or cut out pictures from magazines, pieces of mail and recycled items.
It���s a great form of expression that you can either keep to yourself or share with your guy in the form of a couple���s journal.
Some people take a page of a journal, write whatever is troubling them, and then cover those thoughts with paint, gesso or other paper and embellishments.
Enjoy Nature
I love nature and I am fortunate to be able to enjoy it by simply looking out my back door. You can enjoy nature by talking a walk or going on a hike. If you enjoy the water, go kayaking, skiing or just lay by the beach.
Nature recharges you!
The outdoors can even be your chick retreat. Just walking around, enjoying the wonderful colors and smells can help you relax and recharge.
This can be a great thing to do first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed too. It is a nice, calming activity, providing a sense of peace and joy all at the same time.
Celebrate Victories
I am a big fan of conducting a weekly review in which I take note of my weekly accomplishments and challenges.
Reminding yourself of your accomplishments helps you shift your focus from things that didn���t get done or hiccups in your week to the things you did well.
This is a great way to boost your confidence and sense of self-worth. You have abilities you don���t even realize and taking the time to remind yourself of those abilities helps you grow.
Self Care for Women | Practice Gratitude
It is so easy to become bogged down with the heavier side of life and our natural inclination is to focus on the mistakes we make or the things we wish we���d done differently.
When you shift that focus onto things in your day or week that you can be grateful for, you change your outlook. It���s a great reminder that there are many things going right in your world and not just a world of wrong banging on your door.
Stretch Your Comfort Zone
For most people, staying within your comfort zone feels safe. The problem with safe is that there���s no growth in safe.
When you strive to stretch your comfort zone, you commit to growing as a person. It���s important to take a few risks in order to build your confidence and expand your horizons.
It is only when you push yourself in this way that you find your true self.
Great Self Care for Women Includes Taking Care of Yourself
Instead of staying up until midnight to finish the laundry, do the dishes and clean up after the kids, try going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting some good rest.
If you need to stay up that late to get things done, you���re not prioritizing your tasks, or you have too much on your plate.
Not only should you get plenty of rest, but you should eat healthy meals. While it might seem easy to hit the drive-thru on the way home from a late day at the office, it���s much better for you to go home and heat up some leftovers or make yourself a salad.
I know one young woman who utilizes her days off to do her grocery shopping and complete food prep for the work week ahead. With proper planning, you can accomplish the same and lower the stress in your life!
Self Care Enables You to Properly Care for Your Loved Ones
If you are running on empty 90% of the time, you���re no good for the people you���re trying to nurture. Being exhausted and cranky just leaves them wishing you���d retreat off to nature or go read a great book. What they want to do most is enjoy their time with you.
Facilitate that by practicing good self care. Remember that you can���t be 100% for them if you���re not 100% for yourself first. It isn���t selfish, it���s providing your loved ones with the best version of you, and it���s providing you with personal and positive feedback that you are worthy of being cared for!
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