Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 6

How to Not Date a Jerk

Have you ever wondered how to not date a jerk? They seem to be everywhere. No matter how hard you try to avoid them, they seem to ooze out of the woodwork like roaches waiting to pounce.

To be clear, today, we���re talking about lazy, unmotivated, broke, selfish guys who put on a heck of a show for the first few dates and then show their true colors.

Slow Your Roll

Take the time to get to know the man you���re dating, especially if he���s pushing you. Screen him with a phone or zoom call. If he checks out, schedule a daytime date in public.

Daytime dates offer him little chance to have sex with you and help reveal his true character. Don���t have sex with him or you���ll be blinded by your emotions. Hold off until he has proven himself to be worthy of you.

How to Not Date a Jerk: Watch for Patterns to Emerge

Dating is like a marketing exercise. You both want to show your best side to the other person, so you try to hide any baggage and stay on your best behavior.

You won���t hear about the rash around his balls or his drinking problem, and you won���t have a clue that his ex is poking a look-alike voodoo doll of his face with sewing needles.

His true colors usually arrive near the three-month mark of your relationship. The curtain falls and the real man steps forward. He begins to feel comfortable with you and you haven���t dumped him yet, so he feels a little safer showing more of his true colors.

Until you reach this milestone, keep your emotions in check and try not to sleep with him yet. If he respects you, he���ll wait and so far, he hasn���t yet fully proven himself worthy of you. If he���s pushing for sex and trying to crash your boundaries, it might be time to let him go.

Don���t let this guy meet your kids until you���re sure he���s not just another jerk. This keeps them safe from harm and keeps them from falling for him, only to suffer disappointment later���again.

Date Multiple Men

Before you protest, know that he���s dating other women while you���re still in this early phase of getting to know one another. I recommend you do the same. This keeps you from falling too hard for him and allows you to keep your options open.

If you only date one guy at a time, you believe you can mold him into the guy you want. You don���t see that you have other options, and you fall too hard, too fast. You also don���t get a chance to compare different types of men with clarity.

You will never change this guy! Knowing how to not date a jerk means dating more than one guy!

How to Not Date a Jerk | Know What You Want in a Man

Write down what it is you want from a good man. Think back to other men you���ve dated. What did you like about them? What did you dislike? Form a list of those criteria and look for men who have some of them. You���ll never find the perfect guy. All you need is the guy who���s perfect for you.

Know what your dealbreakers are. For example, do you want to date someone who drinks to excess? Would you rather not date someone in a dangerous job? This is a good exercise, as long as you don���t make the list so strict that no guy will ever qualify. Then, you���re just avoiding a commitment.

Embrace Being Single

After you exit a relationship, remain single for at least four months, preferably longer. I know you might feel lonely and all your friends are dating, blah blah blah. Knowing how to not date a jerk means taking time to reestablish yourself as an independent single woman first.

Doing this gives you time to get to know yourself again, rebuild your confidence, get a handle on the current dating scene and reconnect with friends, hobbies and passions that may have been set aside during that last relationship.

This break from dating also allows you to get over your last relationship fully so you aren���t carrying old relationship baggage into a new, potentially great relationship.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman.��Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are��not jerks.

BUY NOW How to Not Date a Jerk | Meet His Friends

Spend an evening hanging out with his friends and watch how they treat him. Do they show him respect? Does anyone pull you aside and warn you about him? How does he treat them and any other women in the room?

Meeting his friends helps you know more about what he���s really like. What type of guys are they? Are they players? If so, so is he. Guaranteed. If they seem like upstanding guys who have steady girlfriends and jobs, then he���s an upstanding guy too.

Does he get drunk? If so, how does he act then? Does he become someone else entirely? Is he rude, discourteous, angry, jealous, and so on? This isn���t normal behavior for someone who���s drunk, so don���t let him tell you it was the alcohol. Many people can get drunk and be perfectly nice, funny people who never verbally or physically assault anyone.

Conversely, let him meet your friends. They will be bulldogs for you. They can ask him questions you either can���t or won���t. They can dig into his past and are better able to ask him embarrassing questions that might draw out those true colors of his.

The only caveat is that if they give you an opinion you don���t like or even a warning, you should resolve to listen. They aren���t wearing your rose-colored glasses and they have your best interest at heart. If they���re seeing a problem, there is one and you���re choosing to close your eyes to it.

Use Your Intuition

Your intuition is a very powerful tool and yet, you probably ignore it sometimes. We all do if our intuition is telling us something we don���t want to hear. Your gut may be telling you something with this guy is off. Listen to that gut instinct.

Take some time to honestly look at what���s giving you that gut feeling. Is it his behavior or something he said? Did someone else say something to you that���s niggling at the back of your mind?

How to Not Date a Jerk | Look at Your Patterns

Humans are creatures of habit and tend to repeat failures, rather than stop and examine them for potential lessons.

Take some time to look at the past men you���ve dated, especially the ones who squarely fall into the jerk category. What is it about these guys that attracts you? Do you like the feeling of rescuing someone? Is it that you somehow are afraid you aren���t worthy of great guys or you don���t feel as if you can attract men other than these guys?

Take that exercise from above and look at the bad qualities in the men you���ve dated. What about those qualities seems to keep drawing you in? The excitement of dating a bad boy? Are you trying to prove something to someone? Really take the time to examine the why behind finding these guys datable.

Form a list of those negative qualities and immediately dismiss any man who shows even one of them.

Last week, I sat down with a woman named Jennifer who also wondered how not to date a jerk. As we talked, she discovered that she chose broken men ever time. She sought them out. Even if a better guy was sitting right in front of her, she chose the fixer-upper guy instead.

This is a low-confidence, low self-esteem, and low self-worth move. This need to fix others is a way of avoiding fixing yourself. It places you squarely in a co-dependent relationship and those never work long-term.

What Jennifer needs to do is embrace being single, learn to become a confident, independent woman and then seek out a great guy who deserves her. She needs a dating time-out to find herself again and rebuild from the damage of her dating past.

This is called a co-dependent relationship and it will always fail. Her fix? Embrace being single and take my confidence courses along with understanding men. The result? Now she is killing it!

Wrapping it Up

Knowing how to not date a jerk is easy, once you know what to do:

Slow your rollLook for patternsDate multiple menKnow what you wantEmbrace being singleMeet his friendsLook at your dating patternsTrust your intuition

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Is He Moving Too Fast? How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

Is he moving too fast? Can you control the pace of a relationship?

You���ve known this guy for fourteen days. He texts every day, makes future dates and even talks about a trip to Italy. You���ve already met his kids and you���re concerned that it���s a bit too early for him to meet yours.

You like him. You think. But he���s moving too fast in your opinion.

What do you do?

Here���s what most women do and why their new relationship subsequently fails. They allow a man to dictate the pace of the relationship.

Unfortunately, men���s mouths get ahead of their intentions.

I���m guilty of this myself. I think I really like a woman, so I go all in. Then, I realize suddenly that I���m headed for a serious relationship with someone I hardly know. Deep down, I know I���ve been selling her my best self and she���s never seen the not-so-great side of me.

Men panic and flake because it���s easier than backing out of the Italy trip. It happens all the time.

It���s not your fault. Your only mistake is letting him determine the pace of a relationship because you like him and you���re happy to be dating a descent guy.

The person who controls the pace of the relationship becomes the attracter. If you slow him down, he’ll be more into you because you hold power. You become a challenge and, as you know, men are competitors who strive to earn your love.

Controlling the pace of a relationship benefits you exponentially. It also becomes a test for him. If you slow things down and he gets angry at you, you just saved yourself months, maybe years, of dating a potential head case!

How Do You Slow Him Down?

Slowing him down is easy. You can use this exact template or add your own spin.

���Gregg, I���m having a ton of fun and I like you. I like the direction we are headed in, but I���ve learned that getting to know someone takes me time and I need to slow things down. Okay?���

They key element is that you tell him that you like him and that you like where you are headed and then you state your goal of slowing the pace of the relationship.

You could even kid about the psychology of guys by saying, ���Jim, I���ve dated guys before who were this eager only to realize their mouths got ahead of their brains. Let���s chill a bit and take our time. Now, what movie are we watching tonight?���

This example states what you know through your own experience, gives him a nice exit to cool his jets, is humorous, and then gets right back to the fun of dating!

Either example works. Just make sure you use one and use it as soon as you wonder if he is moving too fast.

What Happens After You Tell Him He is Moving Too Fast?

A good guy gets it. He talks with himself and realize he was shooting for the stars too soon. He respects you for telling him, and he wants to up his game to keep you in his life.

The best part is other women will pale in comparison to you! You are the only one who put the brakes on his pushiness and that increases his respect for you.

Let him take the reigns again. It���s okay. You���ve exercised your power and now you can let him continue making plans alongside you. If he still pushes to meet your kids, smile and let him know now is not the time, but maybe soon.

What are the stages of a relationship?

Summary | How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

This is one of the many attraction principles that reel in a guy like a cat to tuna. Few women realize that controlling the pace of the relationship helps attract the man into your life not out.

Controlling the dance is a way of expressing confidence and establishing boundaries with someone you���re interested in.

The next time a guys mouth gets ahead of his intentions, you know what to do!

Ultimately, the success of any relationship is excellent communication. Without it, you have nothing. Learning to control the pace of a relationship is all about using your communication skills.

In��The Power to Communicate, you learn these skills! This book isn’t written as a relationship building book, and yet, without great communication, no relationship can survive.

Improving your communication skills benefits all your relationships, at work, at home, with friends and family. If you’re going to read one book this month, make it this one!

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Six Steps to Save a Relationship

Many people try to recover from a failed relationship but what if you want to save a relationship before it fails? Your odds increase if you can recognize you���re losing him and intervene before he walks out the door.

But how? What can you do to save a relationship?

Many relationships fail because of poor communication, which usually results in arguing and name calling. Eventually, the damage is done and there is no path to recovery. Too many bad things were said, and contempt grew. As a dating and life coach I realize that this stems not from a lack of love but from not understanding where the other person is coming from.

Both parties place barriers around themselves that the other cannot penetrate and then it���s hello divorce court.

Here are six steps to save a relationship and reverse the damage before it���s too late.

How to Save a Relationship by Stepping Away

It can be very challenging to step away from one another during a disagreement, especially if you live together. And yet, stepping away allows you to take stock and ask the right questions to further understand what the other person is thinking. It allows you calm down and become less emotional so you can use rational thought to solve the problem.

Take a weekend by yourself, with your family or girlfriends. Ask yourself how things started to spiral downward and why? Don���t just place blame on him, take responsibility for your part too.

Plan to Fix it

In your opinion, your guy spends too much time with his friends. A great plan might to be to stop arguing about it and instead, support his desire to be with his friends and start hanging out more with your friends. This can be quite healthy. Many times, we feel jealous when our partner wants to spend time with his friends. This is a signal that you need to develop more independence and it���s independence that can save a relationship.

Maybe you don���t have friends like he has. This is your wakeup call to get some new friends. If you have no friends, you will tend to make him your hobby, and that is a recipe for disaster.

By nurturing your own friendships, you will find that he���ll enjoy his independence and subsequently want to spend more time with you. You give him the opportunity to miss you. This is a good thing.

Learn His Love Language

He might love touch and yet you never hold his hand. Gifts might be your thing but not his. Find out what his language is and deliver it to him. Ask him to do the same. Talk about it. It���s fun and it can really make a difference in knowing how to save a relationship.

Save a Relationship by Learning to Communicate Properly

Do you know how to argue? I bet you don���t. They don���t teach this stuff in school. Arguments start because one or both of you believe you���re right and there is no other alternative but yours.

Failure to understand where the other person is coming from can ruin a marriage. There are always two sides to an argument, and you find it by listening to your significant other.

For example, you may find that your man is not affectionate, not because he doesn���t love you, but because his dad never showed affection to his mom when he was growing up. And the few times he did, mom rejected him because he was drunk.

By listening, you discover you had the reason wrong to begin with. Your guy is jaded because of a childhood memory. This is how relationships fail and how you can save a relationship by understanding proper communication.

Learn the Importance of Timing

People fight when they get triggered. But the proper time to engage with grievances is when we are getting along and things are going well.

This can be difficult. No one wants to bring up the bad stuff when we are having fun picking apples, drinking cider and eating donuts.

But this is the exact time to ask your partner questions on how you can improve things between you!

Try it. Bring up things that are bothering with positive win/win solutions. You will be amazed!

Create a Win/Win
In my international best seller book, The Power to Communicate, I talk about a time I was pulled over speeding in Florida. I was doing 90 mph, top down, in my Jaguar.��

When I got pulled over, I could see that the trooper was not pleased. Before he could get to my car, I said, ���Sir, I���m an idiot, I just arrived from Boston, and I was giving my car a good run to shake the rust off. My exit is one mile ahead and I didn���t see any troopers ��� so I gunned it!���

He sat on the guardrail, turned away from me, and he appeared to be laughing.

He was.

He said, ���In my 25 years no one has ever been so fucking honest with me!���

I proved I lived in Boston, we chatted more, and he said, ���Have a good day.���

What happened? I provided a win/win for both of us. You see, police officers want respect, and they rarely get it. I gave him respect by being honest. Everyone denies speeding or doing anything wrong. I did the opposite. I admitted I was wrong, explained why, and he rewarded me with what I wanted ��� not getting a felony charge for driving to endanger.

Six Steps to Save a Relationship Summary

Apply these six steps to save a relationship. Step away and assess the constant arguments. Listen with respect and learn where he is coming from and then make a win/win plan to fix the situation.

If we all did this, the world would be a much better place. ��

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How to Help a Broken Heart | Getting Over a Guy

Is there anything worse than getting over a guy that you have been with for years? How do you help your broken heart?

The end is so sudden and it���s usually not very pretty. Science states that getting over a guy can be worse than breaking a cocaine addiction.

What can you do to help your broken heart?

Grieve

You must let it all out. Instead of holding it all in or being afraid of losing control, let it all go. Yell and scream. Cry big ugly tears. Whatever it takes to get rid of the initial feelings of pain and grief, go for it.

Set a time limit for your grief. Give yourself x-number of days to be miserable and eat all the ice cream you desire. At the end of that day ��� go to the next step.

Make a List

At the top of a piece of paper, put your ex���s name. Then, form two columns. At the top of the first one write ���What I hate about John.��� At the top of the next column, write, ���More things I hate about John.�������

Then fill up the page! Grab more paper if you need it. Hopefully, you���ll start to laugh a little. Then, rip it to shreds and throw John in the trash.

How to Help a Broken Heart by Getting Busy

I���m serious. It���s called displacement. John is the water sitting in the glass. Fill the glass full of ice, which for this analogy means activities. Whenever you start thinking about your ex, find an activity to occupy your mind in a more productive way.

Call your friends. Tell them you need their help. Book a trip. Get to the gym. Get a massage. Go sing some karaoke. The busier you stay the better you will feel. Time will soon take care of the rest.

Love Thyself

I���m talking self-care here. Twenty twenty-two is the year for self-care and I have just what you need. Get my international best seller, The Little Self-Care Handbook. It will walk you through six different types of self-care and provide you with tons of ideas on how to implement each.

When you practice self-care, you���re saying you value yourself and you���re also helping to eliminate some of the negativity from your life. This is time you deserve to spend on yourself.

Break All Contact

When I say break all contact, I mean all. I���m assuming you don���t want him back so there is absolutely zero need to leave any communication avenues open. Block his number. Dump him on social media. And run over his cat.

Just kidding���I love cats. I���m just trying to make you smile.

Of course, the caveat to this is if you have children together. Then you need to limit your conversations to matters that involve the children and stay away from the topic of your relationship.

Build Your Confidence

Breakups do a number on your confidence. One or both of you may be placing the blame of the breakup on you, but a breakup is never about just one person!

Take some time to listen to your own self-talk and make improvements. Note where you���re talking down to yourself and then ask, what would I say to my best friend? That���s what you should say to yourself too. We���re always a lot harder on ourselves than we are on others.

Get out there and take some risks. Do something that scares the heck out of you. Try something new! These types of activities also help to build your confidence.

Get Back in the Game ASAP

This one is hard I know. But to help a broken heart, you need displace him too. Once your confidence is on the rise, work on getting your profile up online. Look at potential guys and read their profiles. Maybe go to a wine tasting or a charity event with a friend.

Then, ease into dating a bit. At first you will compare every guy to John and that���s okay. Just remind yourself of all the things you wrote on your list ��� the things that annoy you about your ex.

How to Help a Broken Heart with a Journal

Writing helps you process your grief and work through your pain. Write everyday about what happened and why. Write how you are feeling and what you can do better in the future. Let the words flow naturally and see where they take you. Surprising revelations can come from allowing your thoughts and feelings to come out in a journal.

Don���t be critical of yourself and don���t blame yourself. You���ll find your feelings will gyrate up and down. You���ll go through the nine stages of grieving.

Soon, you will feel better, but keep journaling and start setting goals for the future. What will your next man look like? How will he act? Where will you meet him. This sets the stage for your bright future!

Laugh and Dance

This is my personal cure! I have made a pact with myself to get crazy when I���m down and out. I crank my favorite tunes and dance around my living room. Then I laugh. I don���t want to hear music and I don���t want to dance but I make myself. It���s a game changer. It works every time.

Work Out as Hard as You Can

Another favorite of mine is to get in a good workout. Get angry during your workout. Go to CrossFit. Run on the beach. Bet the crap out of a punching bag with John���s face pinned to it. This produces something called a runner���s high as it sends chemicals coursing through your body. These chemicals, or endorphins, make you feel good.

What Not to Do to Help a Broken Heart

Do not self-medicate with alcohol. This will make you feel worse in the morning and will most certainly set you back. Promise yourself to proceed through this with a clear head.

Do not start sleeping with multiple guys. This is not the answer. This is your mind trying to play a trick on you by attempting to jump-start love hormones again. Don���t fall for it! I had a reader share that she did this for revenge and then she got herpes. She went from feeling terrible to wanting to jump off a cliff. Enough said.

Do not go through this alone. Men often stay home alone and wallow. Do not do this. Rally your friends and your family. You would do this for your friends, and they will be there for you too. Get a cat or puppy. Run. Move.

How to Help a Broken Heart | Getting Over a Guy Conclusion

Getting over a guy sucks! Take solace in the fact that every person on this huge spinning planet has gone through, or will go through, the same awful feelings you���re experiencing now! I know that doesn���t automatically make you feel better but remember that they���ve all survived this and you can too.

At first, it feels as if your entire world has come crashing down around you, but as you begin picking up the pieces, you will find the clarity you need to process the breakup more efficiently and begin to move forward with your life.

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Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man?

Email after email I receive asks, ���Gregg, why is it so hard to find a good man? Where are they?���

If you can even get a date with a guy you meet online, and if he happens to shows up, chances are he will underwhelm you. It���s becoming a problem.

Let���s explore why this might be the case.

13 Reasons Why it���s so Hard to Find a Good ManGetting Laid is Easier Than Ever

Long gone are the days of talking on the phone and setting up a date. Hookup sites have taken away the old ways and provided men and women instant gratification with a simple swipe to the left or right.

Guys can skip the dinner and go straight to dessert. Women who want the dinner find guys are too lazy and why would they? They don���t need to.

Modern dating has turned into casual dating. That sucks for recently divorced older women who desire the old fashion ways of dating.

Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man? Porn

Porn has flooded the internet. Guys can jerk-off without and any emotional involvement. They figure it doesn���t cost them a dime so why date a girl and go through all the emotion and trouble?

Guys are Intimidated by Successful Women

Our society has been dumbed down. Heck, kids get trophies simply for participating. Competition and success don���t get rewarded like the old days. If you grew up thinking average is the new goal, it becomes intimidating to attempt to date an above average woman. Instead, he shies away.

Women ask me if they should forego telling men how successful they are. Really? Is beginning a relationship with a lie really the answer?

Frustration Sets in

After twenty dates and meeting twenty losers, you can become frustrated. This makes the entire dating process a chore, and once it becomes a chore, everything starts to go downhill. You might even consider throwing in the towel. Many women do.

You Don���t Understand Men

Women don���t understand men. This is especially the case when all your dating tips come from your family and friends. If you don���t know how men think and what they like, how the heck are you going to attract a good man?

You aren���t. Do yourself a favor and consult the pros on this one and you will be much better off.

You Don���t Know Yourself

If you have been married for twenty years, your identity might be all wrapped up with your kids and ex-husband. If you don���t take the time to rediscover yourself, you���ll make poor choices when it comes to men.

Build yourself so he will come is a much better choice.

You���re Either Too Easy or Too Hard to Get

Men like a challenge and some women don���t deliver one because they have no boundaries. Other women play too hard to get with profiles that state their demands.

Again, this comes down to knowing how men think and how to read them. Different types of men require different responses. A shy guy will need more of a push from you, and a confident man might desire more of a chase.

Read his profile, read the man, and react accordingly with your emails and texts. ��

You Don���t Know How to Lead

Many women expect the guy to take the lead. But some men lack confidence too. Guys can feel awkward at the whole online dating thing, so they need a woman to take charge, in the beginning. I coach women to do this, at least at the start, and then suggest they back off a bit.

Your Expectations are Too High��������������������������������������������������������������������

Men can be awkward at the beginning, as you just read. What you first see might not be the real him because he���s a nervous wreck. He might stumble with his words or come across the wrong way. Give him a fighting chance by asking him questions.

Once he becomes comfortable, his traits will shine. If they don���t, move on.

Your Expectations are Too Low

If you had a sexless marriage for the last five years, you might take the first breathing man who favorites your profile. Beware of doing this. Take some time to settle into your singles life before you start dating so you won���t get hurt.

Are There Too Few Good Guys Out There?

I challenge this statement. There are tons of good guys out there. The issue is that there are ten times as many losers than there are good guys, so it appears there are no good men out there. You must weed them out. That can suck if you have no experience in the dating jungle.

If you are constantly dating the losers, your desire to keep dating wains. Consult the pros. Read everything you can from a dating coach you like who knows his or her trade.

You Think You Know What You Like

I see this a lot. He���s got to be six feet tall and wealthy. Okay, does this mean that a 5��� 10-inch guy is out? What if he has a great job that he loves but he makes an average income?

Too many women have these characteristic biases based on nothing. Try dating a guy who rides a motorcycle even if you hate how loud they are. Date a guy who���s average height and see if he���s a fit before excluding every average height man out there.

Yes, I understand there are non-starters, but relax the minor ones at least at first. You���ll be surprised.

You Aren���t Really Trying

Tell me, are you really trying? Or are you going about dating in a half-ass way? If your efforts are checking your profile once a week and rarely going out to get exposure, you aren���t trying very hard to find a man.

Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man? Summary

Finding a good guy takes effort. It���s a job, but it should be a fun job. If it���s the last thing you���re motivated to do, you won���t find your knight.

Get exposure online and offline. Pursue hobbies and passions where you will meet new men. This makes the dating process easy because you start off by having something in common.

Most players don���t partake in bettering themselves. They swim at bars and on sites like Tinder. Put in the time, make new friends, network, keep growing as a person, have fun, and you will find a great guy!

The post Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man? appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

How to be a Good Girlfriend

How to be a Good Girlfriend

I received an email from Mary the other day, and her question was how to be a good girlfriend. She and her boyfriend Ben have been together for three years and things are great but her question is a great one so let���s dig in and find the answer!

While it might not seem important to ask about being a good girlfriend or boyfriend when things are going well, the truth is that it���s the perfect time! Don���t allow your relationship to slide into autopilot. That���s when things can quickly decline!

How to be a Good Girlfriend | Like What He Likes

When you share a hobby your boyfriend has, a strange thing happens. He begins to equate his love of his hobby with his love for you. The love deepens.

You don���t need to show an interest in every hobby, just one or two. You don���t even need to be good at it, just learn about it and show you���re intrigued.

I���m really excited about my new RV. It���s my mobile office and is wrapped with one of my best-selling books. I call it the ���G-Rex.���

I tinker with the electronics and keep upgrading the lithium power. I installed new tables that I probably don���t need. What does my girlfriend do? She comes out, sits inside, and asks questions.

That excites me! I look forward to her visits and enjoy teaching her how the systems work, and I listen to her input on how we can make it better for when we travel.

This forms a bond between us and we grow together.

Now, are there activities that we do not share together? Of course, and that���s okay too.

Learn to Compromise

Man, I wish couples would do more of this. Instead, I see both sides holding their ground like it���s a competition. To be a good girlfriend, learn to compromise from time to time to avoid building contempt and bitterness.

Your guy loves watching football on Sunday. You hate it.�� Ask yourself why you hate it, and you���ll find your answer. I realized my girlfriend hated it because she didn���t understand it, so I broke out the laser pointer and explained it to her.

Guess what? Now, she loves it!

Maybe your reasons are different. You have separation anxiety and football Sunday means your guy is over his friend���s house. A reasonable compromise might be to encourage him to have his friends come to your house. Take interest. Learn the sport. Entice him with food!

If it���s still a no-go, he needs to learn compromise.

Pay Attention to How You Act in Public

One great way to be a good girlfriend is to avoid airing your dirty laundry in public.

I know a woman who finds pleasure airing her distain for her husband to her friends while they���re together in public. Really? How do you think he feels when this happens?

This is the fast lane to a breakup. We all have our gripes, but they should be discussed and resolved in private.�� Humiliating your guy in front of others or on social media is hurtful and will only lead to contempt.

 

Learn His Love Language

Gary Chapman gave us all a wonderful gift. Use it! If touch is his love language, then touch him more often. Give him massages out of the blue or grab his hand when you are walking.

This is an easy way to be a great girlfriend he���ll want to stay with!

I see couples who are constantly swimming upstream trying to get along when the answers are right in front of them. Ask yourself the most basic question ��� what does he like? What does he need? What is his love language?

Instead, women (and men) are fixated on what they need and not their partner. Stop this. Relationships only work when each person understands what the other person needs to feel happy and satisfied and takes steps to fulfill these needs.

How to Be a Good Girlfriend | Stand by Him

This one can get tricky when it comes to family. Uncle Joe might take issue with your boyfriend���s politics. How you react goes a long way towards being a good girlfriend.

I���ll argue that you probably spend a lot more time with your boyfriend than Uncle Joe so it would behoove you to support him while in Uncle Joe���s presence, even if you disagree with said politics.

Supporting him doesn���t mean that you need to always agree with him. Maintaining your own set of values is key to a healthy relationship. It���s when outsiders, even family, attempt to throw a wrench between you that you need to stand up for him.

That makes you a good girlfriend!

Give Him His Space

Let him go golfing. Let him go out with his friends. Too many women lock down their guy.

Why? They don���t trust! They need to be with their guy every free minute!

If you don���t have trust, you���re doomed anyway, so why bother. Let him have some fun away from you. He���ll appreciate you. He���ll be excited to get back to you AND he will have fun stories to tell you.

And this applies to you when you go have fun with your friends. Anticipation of seeing each other is a great feeling and adds layers and layers of positivity to your relationship!

How to be a Good Girlfriend Summary

There are so many ways to be a good girlfriend. Sit down and make your own list and have your guy make his how to be a good boyfriend list too. Make a date of it. Then, check things off each other���s list as he or she fulfills them.

You can even add to each other���s list ��� who better knows how they would like to be treated!

Learn His Love Language

Gary Chapman gave us all a wonderful gift. Use it! If touch is his love language, then touch him more often. Give him massages out of the blue or grab his hand when you are walking.

This is an easy way to be a great girlfriend he���ll want to stay with!

I see couples who are constantly swimming upstream trying to get along when the answers are right in front of them. Ask yourself the most basic question ��� what does he like? What does he need? What is his love language?

Instead, women (and men) are fixated on what they need and not their partner. Stop this. Relationships only work when each person understands what the other person needs to feel happy and satisfied and takes steps to fulfill these needs.

How to Be a Good Girlfriend | Stand by Him

This one can get tricky when it comes to family. Uncle Joe might take issue with your boyfriend���s politics. How you react goes a long way towards being a good girlfriend.

I���ll argue that you probably spend a lot more time with your boyfriend than Uncle Joe so it would behoove you to support him while in Uncle Joe���s presence, even if you disagree with said politics.

Supporting him doesn���t mean that you need to always agree with him. Maintaining your own set of values is key to a healthy relationship. It���s when outsiders, even family, attempt to throw a wrench between you that you need to stand up for him.

That makes you a good girlfriend!

Give Him His Space

Let him go golfing. Let him go out with his friends. Too many women lock down their guy.

Why? They don���t trust! They need to be with their guy every free minute!

If you don���t have trust, you���re doomed anyway, so why bother. Let him have some fun away from you. He���ll appreciate you. He���ll be excited to get back to you AND he will have fun stories to tell you.

And this applies to you when you go have fun with your friends. Anticipation of seeing each other is a great feeling and adds layers and layers of positivity to your relationship!

How to be a Good Girlfriend Summary

There are so many ways to be a good girlfriend. Sit down and make your own list and have your guy make his how to be a good boyfriend list too. Make a date of it. Then, check things off each other���s list as he or she fulfills them.

You can even add to each other���s list ��� who better knows how they would like to be treated!

The post How to be a Good Girlfriend appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Starting a Text Conversation with a Guy

You just met a new guy, and you need some text conversation starters that won���t send him running.

���How are you?��� just ain���t gonna fly.

A great text conversation with a guy begins when you first meet him. What is he in in to? Sixty-seven Mustangs? His German Shepard dog named Moe?

Maybe he is studying for a test he must take next week. These are the homerun texts that will get you responses. If you can���t remember squat, then secretly browse his social media pages.

You want to hit him with personal, pithy texts that only he could answer. Do this and he will want to answer even if he hasn���t been sold on your awesomeness yet. Remember, you probably just met so these texts need to keep him hooked.

Keep your texts short and fun. Ask some questions. Questions yield responses.

���Jim! This is Megan from Saturday night. You in the garage working on that blue ���67?���

���Hey, I���m walking my dog Larry ��� I think Moe and Larry would love to meet!��� ��

���Johnny! How the heck are you? How did your realtors test go on Monday?���

Notice I used his name. People love hearing their name so use it.

 

 

Confident Texts

These texts exude confidence. They show a man that you like him, but you only will like him as much as he likes you.

���Gregg! Hitting the gym after work, you up for joining me? I���ll teach you the right way to do crunches!���

This text has it all. It���s a question. It states his name. And it issues a challenge. Men love challenges and this one is a good one. This text also tells Gregg that you are going to the gym with or without him.

Notice what is not in this text. There are no ���maybes���, or ���if you have the time��� types of low confident words.

Timing Texts

Timing and spacing of your texts is critical too. Texting a guy you just met last night will sound a bit desperate if you text him later that night or first thing in the morning. Wait a day or two, but not three days.

Text him only as much as he texts you ��� actually, text him less. This keeps him chasing. Your goal is to get him off the phone and on a date, chit-chatting all day long on the phone.

Once he responds, delay an hour or so. This is a nice balance. Gone are the days of getting back days later. People won���t wait that long.

Obviously, there are exceptions. If he has tickets to a sports event that night, you need to respond quickly.

Never Double Text

If he doesn���t respond, then you are done. He needs to make the next move, or he is not interested. Repeating your text twenty minutes later will not get him to respond. You could try one more time two weeks later, but that is the last resort.

 

More Great Conversation Starting Texts

���You and I killed it at Sunday karaoke! Where did you get that voice?���

Compliment your guy on his singing passion while you include yourself. He combines his passion with you and BINGO���he is drawn to you.

���What do think of this sixty-three split window ���vette?���

OK, you cheated on this text. You knew he is a car lover, so you did a little bit of studying and you sent a pic. Later, you can admit to this, and he will be just as impressed, but for now let the text ride!

���Jimbo! I was thinking about getting a dog, what breed would you recommend that won���t chew on my neighbors leg?���

Funny. Short. You gave him a fun nickname which only close friends normally do, and you asked a question. Very nice.

���Lare Bare! (His name is Larry) Come join my friends and me at Ricco���s tonight! They have a great band, and I would love to see your smiling face again.���

���Today is the first day of the rest of your life! That���s all I have so let���s get crazy and get a pepperoni pizza at five. You in?���

This text is just silly and dumb. Guys like silly and dumb. It tells him that you are a unique character, which you are! Grab another phrase and start your text with something that strikes you.

���I woke up, looked in the mirror and I looked fantastic! I can���t wait for tomorrow ���� You around for dinner on Tuesday? My treat.���

Again, this is just silly. But it���s very confident and he will pickup on this. You���re calling yourself pretty ��� which you are and then you pivoted and asked him out in a cool, casual way. If it���s me, I���m scratching my head wondering who the heck is this woman and craving to get to dinner.

���Peter, this is Beth just checking in to see if you can repeat your incredible performance last night. If I don���t hear from you, I will take that as a no and I will look elsewhere for a boyfriend �������

This one is cocky but it���s great. He gets a compliment; you tease him about becoming your boyfriend, but you mellow it out with an emoji.

Conversation Starting Texts Summary

These text conversation starters are so powerful! I can go on forever with examples, but you get my point.

Think outside the boxMake your opener something that no one else would sayRisk it!

If this guy can���t laugh and jump in with his own funny response, lose his ass and move on! These texts become a test to see if he is worthy of you. If he can���t engage, you���ve saved yourself time and energy.

If you have read my stuff, I know you have multiple options of guys to date. Don���t let your text game be your weak link.

Get my international best seller today ��� Text Him This Not That.

The post Starting a Text Conversation with a Guy appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

What Turns on A Guy? 20 Turn ons That Will Drive Him Nuts

Ever wonder how some women just seem to turn on any man they���re around? They also seem to have the pick of the litter when it comes to guys.

I���ll bet they exude many of these turn ons for guys.

What Turns on a Guy You���re Trying to Meet?Giving Him Attention

Looking at a guy and making eye contact is a major turn on. Don���t just look at him. Look at him, smile, and hold the look longer than might seem comfortable.

He���ll look away and look back if he���s interested. You can also look away and look back again. It���s a very powerful move.

Approaching Him
Yep, I said it, walk right up to him and say, ���Hi.��� You don���t need any special line, just say hi with a smile, then say, ���My friends thought you were cute and made me walk up to you.��� Or something fun like that!

Lose the fear of rejection and just do it. No big deal. I���ll argue, a million people who should have met last night didn���t because one of them didn���t have the guts to say hi to other.

Placing a Note in His Hand
Walk by on your way to the lady���s room and place a note in his hand. ���I think you���re cute��� will work or ���Come say hi��� does the trick too.

No guy wants to get shot down in front of his buddies, so this move is powerful. It says you���re interested and puts him in a good position in front of his friends.

Keeping Great Posture

Don���t slouch. Ninety percent of all communication is non-verbal, so use it to your advantage. Stand up straight with your shoulders square to him. This tells him that you are confident, interested, and curious.

Squaring your shoulders toward him also sends a signal that he is the most important thing in the room, to you.

Use this body language tip to notice which men may be looking your way with their shoulders squared toward you. He���s interested!

Asking Questions

You know guys love talking about themselves, so ask questions that get to his passions. ���So, Jeff, what gets your juices flowing?���

He���ll go on and on and give you all kinds of new info to expand on. Show interest in his passions and he will start to equate you with what he loves.

Getting Him to Pursue You

If a guy doesn���t begin to pursue you, move on to the next guy. But, if you are doing the above, he���ll want to pursue you. Let him. It���s how men work best.

When he texts, delay a little. When he sets a date, show interest but change it to your time and your liking. Be kind and polite.

Learn How to Turn On a Guy Through Text

What���ll happen? He���ll want you even more because he now knows that you���re busy and he���s not yet a priority and now he wants to be.

What turns on a guy sexually

 

Giving Him a Massage

Man, if I get a massage from a woman, I go nuts! Foot massage, back massage, I don���t care. Touch is very important to guys whose love language is touch.

One key tip: do it without asking for reciprocation. Later, you���ll get your massage too.

Going Commando

When you���re out on a date with that slinky black dress, whisper in his ear and tell him you have nothing but bear skin down there. This will get his mind and other body parts excited!

Say this while you���re at the restaurant when he knows he has to wait until later discover more. The anticipation to get you on the couch will drive him nuts.

Doing Him in The Car

Do him in the car, against the wall, on the counter or on the piano. Anywhere that���s outside the bedroom is a huge turn on for a guy! We also like semi-public places too. My girl and I did it at 30K feet in a plane. We got scolded but we will always remember that awesome turn on.

Watching Porn Together

Porn watched together is a wonderful turn on for both of you. Even a sexy chick flick will get the job done for most men. Wear some sexy lingerie for bonus points.

Masturbating in Front of Him

I���m getting turned on just writing this stuff! You can even start in the bedroom without him. He���ll be joining you in no time.

Sending Him an Audio Recording of You Masturbating

This is better than sexting, in my opinion, and I know guys who would agree. This allows us to use our imaginations about you are doing.

Turn Ons for Guys Long Term

 

Let���s not just think about meeting and dating a man turn ons, there are key turn ons that guarantee that you keep your man for good.

Keeping an Active Social Life

Never make your guy your hobby like many women do. Instead, keep a social life outside your relationship. This keeps you happy and full of new stories to talk about with him. This also keeps the challenge going and helps you remain a little mysterious.

���Where is she right now and who is she with?��� Do this and you will always keep him hooked.

Changing Your Look

When you come home with a brand new haircut, he is going to shake his head in a good way. He���ll wonder what the heck you will do next. Why does this work? Guys fantasize about screwing different women and now you become that different woman.

Changing Your Routine

He thinks you are a Starbucks chick, and you start going to Dunkin Donuts. He thinks you hang with one group of friends and now you have a new bunch of girlfriends. You zig when he zags.

This becomes a turn on because he thinks he has you all figured out. Ask him this after you bring home four shelter cats to babysit for a week!

Giving Him Space

I call this perceived freedom. Allow him to go golfing for the weekend while you do the same with your friends.

Guys like to believe that they can survive without you and they like to show this to their friends. They���re wrong of course, but give him his perceived freedom once in a while.

This keeps him happy. My friend Ted was never allowed to even see his friends once he got married. Can you imagine? They got divorced last year. Give your guy some space.

Laying on Him

Odd huh? I have interviewed many men along my years and they like this one. They love when a woman lies on their back or falls asleep on their lap.

I���m not sure why. I guess we feel like we are protecting our gal from the outside evils ��� that nothing can come between us.

It just feels good.

Competing with Him

I like this one. Guys love competition so bring it into your relationship. Tell him that you will kick his ass in a sprint or at mini golf.

My girl and I compete when we go grocery shopping. We each have a separate cart and our own list and we see who can get it done and get to the register before the other.

It���s fun and I love it.

Oozing Confidence

If you read any of my international best sellers, you know that confidence comes first, then the man. By keeping your friends, hobbies and passions you grow your confidence.

This allows you to set boundaries that no one can touch ��� even your man. He knows that if he were to disrespect you, you���d be gone in a NY minute.

This also makes your time valuable. You don���t have time for people in your life who are Debbie downers, including him if he heads in that direction. You���re a team and you work together, not against.

Building Great Memories Together

This might sound obvious as a turn on, but you would be surprised at how many couples stop compiling memories. They start to fight over kids and money instead.

This is why I create date night ideas for couples. You must continue to grow as a couple, or you will be toast. Work together on your bucket list and he will be turned on forever!

Turn Ons for Guys Conclusion

From the very moment you see that cute guy in the corner to your 50th wedding anniversary years later ��� these are the things that keep your man turned on.

It���s easy to overlook them, if you do, you might start blaming yourself for your relationship failures. Don���t! Keep this list of how to turn a guy on in your head and start following through tonight.

The post What Turns on A Guy? 20 Turn ons That Will Drive Him Nuts appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

12 Love Letters for Him to Let Him Know How You Feel

12 Love Letters for Him to Let Him Know How You Feel

In today���s right now climate, you���re much more inclined to shoot a text to someone or type out an email than to sit down and hand-write love letters for him, and yet, there is nothing more personal than a hand-written note.

Recently, a friend posed a question on Facebook: What is something you treasure most from friends and family? The number one response was a hand-written note or letter. No joke!

Now, I can already hear you from here. You���re saying, ���But Gregg, I have no clue what to write in love letters for him. What can I say that won���t sound cheesy or made up?���

I���ve got you covered! Below are twelve (OK maybe fifteen) heart-felt love letters that will melt his heart.

Use them as they are, use them to get some ideas or modify them and put your own spin on them. How you use them is up to you, but they���re guaranteed to work!

Here are a few tips to get started.

Starter Tips for Love Letters for Him Don���t Apply too Much Pressure

It���s easy to psych yourself out over something like this but don���t. Don���t worry about sounding silly or about being embarrassed over what you write. If it truly comes from your heart, he will know, and he won���t think you���re silly at all.

Don���t Wait for a Reason

Sure, it���s nice to send a hand-written note on a birthday or anniversary, but you don���t need a special occasion to send love letters for him! Remember the last time you went to your mailbox and instead of a bill, you found a card or note from someone? Didn���t it immediately make you feel special?

Take Your Time

Don���t rush the process. Set aside some time when the rest of your life is quiet and begin writing. Remember, you have the letters here, plus the bonus letters, as examples to help you get started.

Once you start writing, be thoughtful and take your time.

Be Yourself

Don���t try to be someone you���re not, regardless of whether it���s in person or in a love letter. Don���t say things you don���t really mean. Give him the genuine article. Something about you attracted him so there���s no reason to start pretending you���re someone else now.

Let Your True Feelings Flow

This is a time to let those true feelings come pouring out. Let him know how you feel. Be spontaneous. This isn���t the time for an outline. Just start writing and let things come out as they will. You may even surprise yourself at what you put on paper.

Don���t Be so Serious

If you feel like being funny, go for it. If you want the letter to be more romantic or serious, then make it that way. There is no rule on what you can write about. Only you know your relationship and what lies between the two of you. You know best what will appeal to him.

Sometimes, I am asked to speak in online relationship seminars and the host usually provides some email content they want me to send you. Many, no, not many, most of the time, I modify those letters because they don���t align with how I talk to you. Write the letter that fits the circumstance, your mood, or your relationship.

Set Your Mind Fully on Him

Get out that photo of the two of you at the park last summer or the one you took together just before your favorite performer came on stage at a concert.

Next, ask yourself why you want to write to him today. Is he just on your mind and you want to share your thoughts? Is he away and you find yourself missing him? Is there something you want to say? Do you want to make him smile or laugh?

Keep it Short

Just like when you text a man, you want your letter to be short. This doesn���t mean it won���t pack a wallop because it probably will. Just don���t go on and on. Say what you want to say and close the letter.

Make Them Scarce

You don���t need to send him a love letter every week. Make this special by sending them occasionally. Anything done to excess loses its punch and takes the special out of it. Time your love letters for him to arrive when he���s feeling down or when you want to recall something special between you.

Leave a Little of Yourself Behind

After you write your letter, personalize it in some way. Spritz a little of the perfume he loves so much on it or include a photo that has meaning to the letter, or a photo of you. You can also include a few flower petals or something else that will have meaning to him. Each additional effort you put into it makes it that much more special to him.

What Men REALLY Think About Love Letters

I know you think men are big and tough and they don���t want to read sappy love letters, so let me dispel that myth for you right now.

While it���s true that no man wants his buddies to find him wiping away tears after reading a love letter from you, that doesn���t mean he won���t treasure it just the same.

The thing is that when you send a hand-written note, it tells a guy how special he is to you, special enough for you to sit down and take the time to write a note. Even a short love letter for him says, ���You���re special to me��� in a way nothing else can.

What to Include in Love Letters for Him

The first few sentences can be the most difficult. That���s true of any writing project, I think, to be honest, but once you have the questions above answered, that first sentence or two gets easier. You can say something like, ���Tim, I wanted to write to you today just to tell you how much I appreciate the extra time you spent helping me fix up my new house last week. It meant a lot to me that you took time off work to spend a couple days painting and fixing the plumbing under the sink.���

From there, you can transition into something else, like other things he does that you appreciate or how you���re so excited about your upcoming date to go to a concert or football game or whatever.

Don���t be afraid to be a little seductive too. That makes for a good close. Leave him wanting more!

12 Love Letters for HimThe Anniversary Love Letter

My Sweet Love,

I can���t believe another year has gone by so quickly. I feel like we���ve known one another all our lives. Having you in my life has brought the most incredible changes. It almost seems impossible, but I know our love grows deeper and richer with every passing day.

You���re the first person I want to share something great with and my rock when something bad happens. I know you���re there for me, to sweep me into your arms and remind me that everything will be okay.

You are my best friend, and I am so lucky to have you in my life. Not a day goes by that I don���t know that! I can���t imagine any other man who could even come close to being as perfect for me as you are, my love.

I just wanted to make sure you know how special you are to me on this, our anniversary, and I look forward to celebrating many more with you!

With love,

And another anniversary letter���

 

My Love,

Happy Anniversary to the most wonderful man a woman could ever ask for! I am so grateful to have you in my life and I am so excited for our future. You make me so happy. Not a day goes by that I don���t thank my lucky stars that you���re mine.

Our love story is unique to us and so special to me. Our friends have love stories too, but ours is my favorite because it includes you.

I love you to the moon and back!

Love Always,

Appreciation Love Letters for Him

My Best Friend,

I can���t imagine my life without you. You inspire me every day to be patient, kind and loving because those are some of the best parts of you.

Your focus is on what matters ��� our relationship.

You work so hard every day to provide a wonderful life for us and yet you still find time for the small things that matter so much, like playing with the kids, walking the dog or just being there to listen.

I appreciate you so much and want to be sure you know it!

Love,

And here���s another love letter to show appreciation���

Love of My Life,

I am so grateful to be able to spend my life with you. You���re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I drift off to sleep.

Not only are you the one I love, but you���re my best friend.

I love Netflix binging with you as much as I love exploring a new country or wandering around a new city.

Every day with you is like my wildest dream come true. I love exploring all those hidden nooks and crannies of your life, each new revelation making me fall more in love with you.

Thank you for being my best friend, my confidant, and my knight in shining armor!

Love,

Love Letters to Reminisce

Dear ,

I smile every time I remember our first date. I saw you first from a distance and your smile and sparkling blue eyes stole my breath away. It made me instantly fearful that I would freeze up when it was time to say ���Hello,��� but you made me feel so comfortable and instantly I knew you were special.

That day lives on in my mind as the years tick by and I wonder how it���s possible to still be so much in love with you. You���re always there to make me smile when I���m feeling a little down or to share the joys of our life together.

I can���t imagine a day without you and I treasure each memory we have made together so far. I look forward to making many more as we continue our journey together,

With all my heart,

And there���s this one���

My Love,

We have been through so much together, and whether good or bad, those memories have a special place in my heart.

Being with you makes my day brighter. Every day is an adventure with you, and I still feel a flutter in my stomach when I see you walk into the room.

It reminds me of the first time we met. I was so nervous, but you stole my breath and calmed my nervousness with your calm demeanor and gorgeous smile.

Those many things we���ve done together over the years like hiking in the Smokeys and going white water rafting are special to me and I look forward to a lifetime of exploring and taking risks together.

Thank you for being my best friend,

Another���

Dear ,

Today I looked back on the 5 years we have been together. And I thought how lucky I was to have you in my life. It���s funny, I feel the same butterflies when I see you as I did on our first date.
Let���s keep having those first dates!

Love,

Declaration of Love Letters for Him

[His Name],

I love you so completely that it scares me a little sometimes. Thoughts of you are in my heart every waking and sleeping moment of my life. You���re like a constant ray of light, brightening my day with your beautiful smile and generous heart.

I love you more than I did yesterday and I know I will love you more tomorrow than I do now. It���s difficult to put into words how I feel when I see you. I adore you and feel so fortunate to be the woman in your life.

My love for you knows no boundaries. My heart beats wildly at the thought of spending time with you.

I���m so proud to be with you and to call you mine.

Love you forever,

And another letter to let him know how much you love him���

My Dear,

If we had never met, I wouldn���t know the meaning of true, unconditional love. Being able to call you the love of my life is like a dream come true for me. I never knew how breathtaking love could be until I met you.

You���re like the sun, shining brightly, even on the cloudiest of days. You lift my spirits and carry my fears away, replacing them with wonderful hopes and dreams of the wonderful years that lie before us.

Love Letters for Him

To My Sweet Love,

Lately, I���ve been stressed. I asked myself what is the best solution to calm myself and you know what the answer was?
YOU!
Frankly, I had forgotten about this method, maybe even overlooked this option. But no more. YOU are what makes me calm. You are what makes me happy. And you are my key to eliminating stress from now on. Never change my darling.

Love,

And this one���

Love of My Life,

A smile came over me today. Memories started jumping into my head ��� exceptional memories that I will never forget. Like apple picking at Stromberg���s Farm when I spilled wine all over you and our picnic blanket, and how you laughed when others would be angry.
The roller coaster ride at Old Orchard Beach. We were the only adults on the kiddie ride. I laughed and laughed as you held my hand and screamed while you raised your hands.
The surfing lessons we took together in Aruba. We both sucked so bad we almost drowned. But we didn���t. And then we laughed, started drinking, and toasted that we would never surf again!
Can���t wait to see you tomorrow and every day after.

With All My Love,

And another���

Dear ,

This morning I looked at our son. The son we created together. I was so proud. He asked me what was wrong as tears filled up my eyes.
I told him nothing���absolutely nothing.

Thank you being you,

A Love Letter for Him After You Fight

Darling,

I want you to know that our argument last night was not in vain. I learned about you and you about me. I now understand how you feel about the situation, and I will now do things differently going forward.
We won���t need to argue about this subject ever again! I feel even closer to you now.

Love you dearly���

When He���s Feeling Insecure

Honey,

I want you to know that getting laid off, in my opinion, was a good thing. You are so much better than that job and you were not happy. I���m looking forward to seeing what your next move will be! You are awesome and I will be by your side to support you in your time off or your pursuit of your next career.

With All My Heart,

When You���re Apart

My love,

I know it���s lonely where you are. I am lonely being at home without you. It���s okay because I simply check off the days until you���ll be home. Each checkmark makes me more excited. I have made some plans that I know you will love! Wanna know what they are? You will be receiving a box soon that will reveal our plans when you get home.

Until then,

When He���s Feeling Jealous

My Sweet Love,

I realize my profession has me working with many different men. I want you to know that no man compares to you! They are all a bunch of little boys, and you are my man and my rock. Please, never question my love for you as you are my one and only!

Truly Yours,

That���s a Wrap

When you write short love letters, or even longer ones, you���re sending more than the physical letter. You���re telling the person receiving the letter that they���re special enough for you to take the time to do something few people do today ��� to hand-write a letter.

Love letter writing isn���t a twentieth century thing, it goes way back in history and many famous people penned love letters.

While we have other, more immediate ways of communicating with our loved ones, nothing beats a hand-written love letter!

The post 12 Love Letters for Him to Let Him Know How You Feel appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

10 Advantages of Dating a Beta Male

For the right type of woman, a powerful and mainly dominant woman, dating a beta male makes the most sense. While you���ve probably gone after alpha men in the past, the truth is that those relationships aren���t working out for you. In this instance, you���re better off with the opposites attract clich��, rather than dating someone most like you.

There are many advantages of dating a beta male if you���re that dominant, powerful woman. Let���s check them out.

10 Advantages of Dating a Beta MaleBeta Men are Loyal

There���s no need to worry about your beta man having an affair on you. Beta men tend to be very loyal and want to earn your trust. He will work hard to make sure you understand that you���re his number one and only!

An alpha man will experience more temptations, but that doesn���t mean he���ll go through with them. He just needs that admiration in order to keep his ego boosted.

Betas Pay Attention to Details

The beta man has a great eye for the little details you want a guy to notice. If you ask him to work out the details of your upcoming apple-picking date, rest assured that he will have the whole thing planned out and taken care of.

Why? Because he cares about you and he wants you to know it.

Beta Men Aren���t Afraid of Commitment

Beta men don���t need the admiration of dozens of women in order to make them feel whole. Your beta is more likely to be ready to commit when you are. He���s all in for a life that includes settling in with you.

He���s All Ears

An alpha man will listen, but usually it���s because there���s something in it for him. Once he gets what he wants, he���ll ghost you for a few days.

The beta man is a great listener. He will patiently listen to whatever you have to say, give it a moment to process and then pick out what he feels is important and make helpful suggestions.

Love that guy!

He���s Flexible With You and Your Plans

The beta is flexible, mostly because he doesn���t care what he���s doing as long as it���s with you! If you want to stay in this weekend and binge watch something on Netflix, he���s all in. If you want a romantic weekend somewhere, just say the word and he���ll plan it.

He���s a Confident Soul

While many alpha men describe beta males as lacking confidence and manliness, the truth is the opposite. Beta men are confident in who they are and they don���t need that stroking of the ego that an alpha often requires.

This also means that he���ll be more willing to show his vulnerable underbelly to you than an alpha. The beta trusts his heart and soul to you and this is due to his confidence.

He���s Calm

The beta man can have a calming influence on you, especially when you get all worked up over something. This isn���t to say he doesn���t get excited about things, but he has a tendency to stay calm and analyze the situation first.

You are in Control

The reason that the beta man and the alpha woman work so well together is that the alpha woman has a need to be in control while the beta man will never fight you for that control.

Alpha women often think that they can only be happy with an alpha man, but this is like putting two bulls in a pen and letting them fight it out. It���s too much dominance and power in one space. There is a constant battle for who is in charge.

Your beta doesn���t want to be in control. He loves you because you want that control. He won���t��� fight you for it, but he will love you for it.

He���ll Make a Great Dad

For the reasons above and below, the beta man makes a great father for your kids. His calm demeanor, flexibility and attention to detail means he���ll be willing to step in and participate in parenting your kids.

His loyalty and commitment to your relationship are great examples and will show your kids how to be part of a healthy relationship.

He���s Not Going to Leave You

If your relationship comes to an end, it���ll most likely be your doing. A beta man is blissfully happy in his relationship with you, as long as you don���t expect him to be more like the alphas you���ve dated in the past.

Dating a Beta Male Summary

The advantages of dating a beta male are many, but only if you���re the right type of female. You should be a confident, dominant woman who likes being in control. If your past relationships with alpha men have ended in disaster, it may be time to try a beta.

While he wants you to be in control, it���s important to remember that he���s a human being who deserves your respect and consideration. In some relationships with beta men, they want to share some of the decision-making, while in others, they���re happy to turn over the reins to you. Like any other relationship, it���s important to have conversations about how those dynamics will work for you.

The post 10 Advantages of Dating a Beta Male appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.