Gregg Michaelsen's Blog, page 6

Woman Brain vs Man Brain as They Apply to Relationships

If you think I am going to give you some expanded Stanford study on woman brain vs man brain you would be wrong.

This is a dumbed down version of the REAL differences in our two brains when it comes to dating and relationships, and it comes from a man-brained dating coach. These conclusions aren���t backed up by any science, just personal experience.

Men���s Brains are Small, Think Squirrel or Small Rodent

The woman brain vs the man brain is large and complex, and yet, women treat men as if they have the same large and complex brain as your girlfriends have. That, my friend, is where you go wrong.

Men don���t pick up on subtle cues. They communicate differently, love differently and have out-of-control egos. There���s a great video on YouTube by Mark Gungor, who describes the male brain as containing a bunch of boxes, one of which is an empty box. No box can comingle with another box in the male brain.

Woman Brain vs Man Brain and Flirting

Women come to me saying, ���Gregg, I flirt and flirt with men and they ignore me! What am I doing wrong?���

You aren���t doing anything wrong. Men aren���t ignoring you; their brains are too small to realize what���s happening, especially if they���re drinking beer and downing chicken wings while watching sports on TV. Food is one box and cannot be combined with an outside influence like you flirting with them.

The solution, short of grabbing his ass and screaming, ���HEY! I like you!��� is to double your efforts so he gets the message. Look at him and smile, then look away. Then, a few moments later, look his way again and smile, then look away. Next, walk by him on your way to the restroom or bar and gently brush against him. Do it again a little while later.

In this instance, the woman brain vs the man brain is definitely in play. Use this double-down effort to get his attention and he���ll be more likely to pick up on your cues.

Communication

When it comes to woman brain vs man brain, communication is one of the biggest discrepancies. Men text with two to three sentences at the most, more likely it���s two to three words.

Women, however, text paragraphs. A man won���t read these texts because he doesn���t have the patience and he���s not interested in the emotional rant that is probably contained in that paragraph.

Instead, text a man like he texts his friends. Lose all the emotion and extra stuff and get to the point. If you want to meet him for lunch, text him something like 2:00 lunch? That���s all he needs. Don���t give him fifteen choices for where to go. Just get to the point.

Men also communicate more through actions than words. Think about two little boys playing in a sandbox. They aren���t talking. They���re pushing their cars and trucks into the others and saying things like ���BAM!��� and ���Gotcha!��� They grunt and throw sand at each other, then try to steal their trucks.

When little girls play, they use tons of language. They use their voices to mimic the voices of their Barbies or baby dolls. They use language to build and maintain relationships.

This is not a dynamic that changes as boys and girls get older, which is why it���s so important for you to understand.

Woman Brain vs Man Brain and Love

This is another area in which there is a huge divide in the quest to understand woman brain vs man brain. Some of the discrepancy goes back to the communication issue you just read. A woman uses words to communicate love while a man uses actions.

So many times, women come to me upset and ask why their guy isn���t telling them that he loves them. They���re upset and think their guy doesn���t really love them. But, when I dig into the story, I find out that the man is showing her how much he loves her through his actions.

Men fix things and solve your problems, all in an attempt to show you how much he loves you. They take out the trash, take your car for an oil change and buy you the desk you need to make your work at home go more smoothly.

If you look at the actions of a man, you will see dozens of signs that he loves you, but if you���re waiting for the words, you might be waiting a while. He���ll say them, but not as often as you���d like to hear them.

Egos

For some men, ego plays a large role, so if you learn how to deal with the male ego, you���ll be all set. It doesn���t take much to do this either, in fact, some of it boils down to common courtesy. When he does things for you, be sure to appreciate his effort. Even the smallest things to you, like taking out the trash or doing the dishes after dinner deserve a compliment now and then.

If you really want to stroke his ego, be sure to tell him how much you appreciate him in the bedroom. Most good men want to please you in bed, so let him know he���s hitting the mark, so to speak, even if his performance wasn���t quite up to par.

Woman Brain vs Man Brain and Multi-Tasking

In the world of woman brain vs man brain, multitasking is a big deal. Women can cook dinner, feed a toddler, help an older child with homework and fold laundry all at the same time.

Men aren���t capable of this. Not even close. A man generally can���t do two things at once, and this includes listening to you and driving, listening to you and watching television or really���any two things at once.

It���s evolutionary and don���t get upset with me for saying so. Cavewoman Cathy and Caveman Carl each had their role to play. Cavewoman Cathy was responsible for keeping the cave straightened, cooking the food Caveman Carl killed and taking care of the kids. Caveman Carl had two jobs ��� procure food for the family, and possibly grow it, and protect his family.

Even though evolution now has woman holding as many, if not more high-power jobs than men, the power of a woman���s ability to multitask still exists and men still can���t do it.

Men Exaggerate Profusely

Men exaggerate, a lot. This goes back to the paragraphs above on ego. While everyone exaggerates to some extent, a man will exaggerate many things at the beginning of a relationship. He���ll suggest he earns more than he does and that he���s a better tennis player.

He���ll say there are few skeletons in his closet when the truth might be that the door is about to bust open from all the skeletons that are actually there.

Woman Brain Vs Man Brain Summary

All kidding aside, when it comes to woman brain vs man brain and relationships, there can be disappointing outcomes. Relationships fail because neither understands how the other���s brain works. Therefore, we all assume that your brain works like mine and that���s a huge mistake.

This isn���t an article about you changing who you are. It���s an article about understanding the differences between men and women so you can modify how you act toward the men in your life. This will help them better understand you and your intentions and it will keep many arguments and disappointments from ever happening.

The post Woman Brain vs Man Brain as They Apply to Relationships appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

How to Not be Nervous for a Date

We���ve all been there and it���s very nerve-wracking, but today I���d like to share with you 12 tips to show you how to not be nervous for a date.

Your gut is seizing and nausea is roiling and you���re thinking about shooting him a text with an excuse to postpone the date, but did you know he might be feeling the same way? Date nervousness isn���t exclusive to women. Men experience it too!

Still, dates can be great experiences with the right mindset. Instead of worrying about what to wear, how to fix your hair and makeup and whether he���ll like you, focus on the twelve tips below. They���ll help you know how to not be nervous for a date.

Right now, you���re placing too much importance on this date. You���re making it seem as if your entire future hinges on this one date, but it doesn���t. Dating isn���t about getting married or even making a commitment, not the first few dates anyway. It���s about seeing how well you might fit. Can you have fun together? Is he someone you enjoy spending time with? Is he an interesting guy?

This is how men look at dating. They don���t look at dating as taking steps toward the alter. They have fun. They enjoy the challenge of getting to know you and the mystery behind who you are.

How to Not be Nervous for a Date: Treat it as a Meeting

The best way to ease your nervousness over a first date is to treat it as a meeting, which is what it is. You and this new guy are meeting to see if there is any spark or chemistry. If you know one another before, you���ve probably never dated until now so this is still a first date or meeting to consider becoming a couple.

Even the next few dates can be looked at in this way because that���s what you���re doing. You���re meeting up with a new friend to see if you can become a couple in the future.

Have some talking points

If you met him online or through friends, you might already know something about him. Use this to your advantage and have a few things you can talk about. If his pride and joy is his ���67 corvette, study up a little on them and show interest. If you love something he loves, he will transfer his love of that thing to you over time.

Men love to talk about themselves, so the more homework you do before your meeting, the more prepared you���ll be to feed him questions.

Understand that He���s a Hot Mess of Nerves Too

Any great guy worth having is probably a bundle of nerves before your first few dates too. If he isn���t, there���s a better than even chance that he���s a player who goes on a lot of dates and has his own system in place.

Assuming your guy is a great guy, he���s just as worried about saying the wrong thing or looking dumb in front of you. How you both survive one of you making some sort of goof will determine how your relationship will go, moving forward. If someone goofs, poke a little fun, in a nice way, maybe with a tad of humorous self-deprecation.

If you trip over your own feet or accidentally spill a little coffee, it���s fine. He���ll love it and it���ll make him feel better about anything that happened to him.

How to Not Be Nervous for a Date | Don���t ���Clear Your Day���

You���ve got a date with a great guy and you���re so nervous about getting ready that you take the day off and clear the schedule for the entire day so you have plenty of time to get ready.

I���ve done this myself. If I had a hot date planned for that evening, I���d clear the day to wash my car, plan my route and prepare myself for the date. The problem is that when it was time for the date, I was so nervous because I���d focused my entire day on it, that I could barely function.

Instead, stay busy with other plans. Go on with your day as normal and prepare yourself as you would for a girls��� night out. Slip on something comfortable, do your hair and makeup as you would for any other occasion and be yourself.

Stop With the Worst-Case Scenarios

Your anxiety is ratcheting up and the what-if���s are starting. Recognize this for what it is ��� date anxiety. It���s normal, but that doesn���t mean you need to feed it. When those what-if���s start showing up, stomp them down. What if he doesn���t show up? His loss! What if he hates you? His loss! What if he���s an axe murderer? What are the odds, really?

Anxiety creeps in and we don���t often recognize it for what it is. Take some deep breaths and gain control of your thoughts. Instead of allowing this anxious train of thought to continue, find something to watch on Netflix or turn on some music and start singing along. Do anything to change your train of thought.

Desensitize Yourself to Dating

The real issue with dating anxiety is fear. You���re doing something new and you���re afraid of the outcome. There are two things to do to eliminate this fear. One is to realize that just because this guy isn���t into you, or vice versa, doesn���t mean no guy will be into you. He simply isn���t the right one.

The second thing to realize is that the best way to eliminate a fear of something is to desensitize yourself to it. This means exposing yourself to more of what you���re afraid of until the fear dissipates.

What does all that mean? Go on more dates! Yes! The very thing that is striking fear in you now ��� dating ��� is the one thing you need to do more of.

But I hear you ��� ���Gregg, there aren���t that many great guys out there.��� And my response to you is ���Oh, but there are, you just don���t know where to look!���

How to find the man of your dreams

Date a few guys who rank in the so-so category if you must, just to get the exposure. At the least, maybe you come out of it with a new friend. Just make sure he understands that it���s just a friendship so there are no hurt feelings.

How to Not Be Nervous for a Date | Keep it Short

Don���t plan a date that will last for hours. Instead, plan a coffee date where you can meet someplace casual and relax into the comfy chairs. If things go well, you can certainly plan a longer date, but make any first meetings short.

If you���re looking for how to not be nervous for a date, this is a great one because a coffee date is, by nature, a more casual, laid-back experience.

Be Involved with Planning the Meeting

Get involved in planning your meeting so you have some say in what you do and where the meeting will happen. If you allow him to do it, he may be more inclined to either bail on the date or plan it someplace where he���s more comfortable, but you aren���t.

Give him a few suggestions and make them closer to your comfort zone. This not only feels more comfortable to you but it���s safer and will keep your anxiety at bay.

Relax����

One great tip for how to not be nervous for a date is to chill. Relax and remember not to place so much importance on this two hours of your life. Think about it ��� it���s two hours, if that, of your entire life and, as you recall, if he doesn���t like you, it���s his loss!

Use anxiety-busting tools like playing music or taking a short walk. Splash some cold water on your face before you do your makeup or take a few deep breaths. When you consider what to wear, go with something comfortable, rather than something new or something that makes you squirm because it���s too tight or doesn���t fit properly.

Keep It to Yourself

It isn���t necessary to share this meeting with your entire Facebook friends group or blast it on Instagram. In fact, I suggest you tell one close friend so someone knows where you are, but otherwise, keep it to yourself. Other people will try to be helpful, but they���ll only provide advice you don���t need to hear. Friends will push their own anxiety on you with stressors over what to wear and so on.

Make it Fun!

The worst date is sitting down to dinner with someone in some high-end, or even middle grade restaurant. All you have to entertain yourselves is one another. The stress of carrying on a conversation can become overwhelming, especially if one or both of you are introverts.

Instead, make your first dates and meetings fun. Go bowling or go prowl a farmer���s market. Go watch a sport you both enjoy together or go somewhere that relates to a hobby one or both of you have, like antiques or cars or photography. Even a museum or an art gallery is better than a dinner date because there are conversation starters all over the place.

Workout Prior to Your Date

When you workout, two things happen. One is that it alleviates any anxiety chemicals that are coursing through your veins. The other is that it produces endorphins, or happy hormones as some call them, and you get a lift.

This will help your confidence shine through, instead of your anxiety.

How to Not Be Nervous for a Date

Most long-lasting relationships start out as great friendships. Remember this as you head into your next date or first meeting with a guy. Work on building a great friendship and don���t worry about how long it will be before he buys you a ring.

Date to have fun and learn more about him, not to find milestones that you think show he wants to marry you. I guarantee you he���s oblivious to such milestones so don���t bother with them. Guys date to have fun and you should too! Use this time to determine not only if he���s a great guy, but also if he���s the right guy for you. Take your time and enjoy the process! Take the pressure off by not worrying about getting married after the first date!

Remember the tips you���ve read here and go have yourself a great time!

The post How to Not be Nervous for a Date appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Finding the Man of Your Dreams

Like some of my coaching clients, have you given up on finding the man of your dreams? I hope not, but in case you have, keep reading because I have some good news!

There is a way to find Mr. Wonderful. You���ve just been doing it wrong.

While it might seem as if swiping left or right on a dating app will land you a great guy, there are better ways. The longer dating apps run, the more likely it is you���ll find a loser or someone who���s catfishing. Instead, try some of these ideas!

Know What You Want

Take a few sheets of paper and write the name of each man you���ve dated at the top of each piece. Each guy gets his own sheet of paper.

Next, write his positive qualities on one side and his negative qualities on the other. After you���ve done this for all the men of your past, start looking for patterns. If a positive quality repeats a few times, write it on a new piece of paper, starting a list of positive traits.

Do the same with the negative traits. Those that repeat need to go on a negative trait list.

Next, look at the positive traits. These are the most appealing to you because they show up most in the men you date. Find two or three that are requirements and make the rest possible, but not necessary.

Do the same with the negative traits. You���re gravitating to a certain type of guy who carries some negative traits too but it���s time to stop. Take the top three or so and make them non-negotiable. These traits can���t exist in your new guy. The rest of the negative traits are negotiable but not dealbreakers.

You���re now one step closer to finding the man of your dreams. You now know what your Mr. Wonderful looks like, kind of, and you can seek out men with these traits who lack the negative dealbreakers.

Finding the Man of Your Dreams: Deal with Any Baggage

We all have baggage. Some of it can be put on a cart and rolled out of your life. Baggage includes guilt, regret, fear, criticism, trust issues, being defensive, and trauma from past events. These things hold you back from having an honest, open, and healthy relationship.

When you bring that into a new relationship, it���s almost a guarantee that your effort at finding the man of your dreams will fail. Instead, change your outlook on life from one of gloom and doom to more of a glass half-full outlook.

You can also practice self-care. I have a great book on self-care that might help you get started.

Today you start taking care of you. If you don���t begin to take care of yourself, you won���t be 100% there to take care of those other important people in your life! Self-care isn���t the same as selfish. Self-care is essential for every single person, male or female, parent or not, laborer or white collar. None of that matters.

This self-love kit for women��takes you through six types of self-care, providing you with essential steps toward including each type of self-care into your life.

Each type of self-care has specific steps and benefits to your overall well-being. You���ll gradually ease in to including each type of self-care in your life.

Inside the book is a link to��download a free workbook and journal,��featuring helpful worksheets to help you proceed through the self-care journey, as well as journal pages like yearly, monthly, weekly and daily calendars, trackers and other helpful pages. Your journey to feeling less overwhelm and more power in your life begins today!

Another way to move past baggage is to get back out there and hang out with your friends, or make new ones. Just make sure that either way, they���re positive people, not negative.

The final way to deal with emotional baggage is to seek professional help. Sometimes the baggage is bigger than being happy and doing some self-care.

Convey the Image of a Confident Woman

Even if you don���t feel confident, start acting like a confident woman. Dress as if you care about your appearance. Fix your hair or get a fresh cut. Wear a little make up and take pride in your appearance. This sends a clear message to people who see you that you have self-esteem and self-worth.

When you put this kind of work into finding the man of your dreams, you���re sure to have success! Men can sniff out confident women without much effort. They look and act differently than low confidence women. So that means it���s time to get to work on that confidence and there are some great tools and resources for you here.

Finding the Man of Your Dreams by Re-Engaging with Life

Sometimes when confidence is down, you disengage with life, but it���s time to get back out there now. Make a list of fifty things you���d like to do. These can be daily activities like running or working out, team activities like volleyball or soccer, or even trips you���d like to take or occasional activities like scuba diving or hiking.

After you���ve made your list, set to work on accomplishing some of them. Join a team and play rec league soccer. Join a local group that shares an interest in the same things you���ve written down. You can often find them on Meetup.com.

When you get involved in groups and activities like this, finding the man of your dreams gets a whole lot easier. He���s doing those activities too so you���ll instantly have something in common! ��This makes for a great start to a relationship.

Begin to Believe

If you���re walking around with a negative attitude about finding a great guy, you never will. Instead, start to believe that you can find him. We tend to gravitate toward what we believe, so if your belief is that you won���t find a great guy, that���s what will happen.

Stay Positive

Living a life full of positivity instead of negativity sets you on a better course for success. Positivity stretches into all aspects of your life, not just dating. If your friends are negative, it���s time for new friends, which you can find in those activities you���re engaging in.

One thing you can do to focus on the positives is to start a gratitude journal. Find things every day to be grateful for and commit to finding new things every day. You can���t be grateful for your best friend every day. Be grateful for finding everything on your grocery list or for a warm sunny day.

Finding the Man of Your Dreams is a Mindset

Finding the man of your dreams is a lot, but not totally about your mindset, as you���ve read, but it���s also about getting out there in the right places.

Bars are great, but that���s not where many of the great guys hang out. You���re more likely to find them when you���re volunteering somewhere or engaging in an activity you enjoy.

The great men aren���t hiding, you just didn���t know where to look!

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How to Get Rid of an Ex

So you’re interested in learning how to get rid of an ex. There are two easy steps that will help you rid yourself of him for good!

It���s the same old story. You spend months, or even years in a crappy relationship until you finally summon the courage to get out. You dump him and enjoy your newfound freedom, but he just won���t go away.

He���s lonely and he wants you back. It���s an interesting twist of fate for most men who are usually the ones to break up. Still, there he is looking all pitiful and you actually give some consideration to taking him back.

Wait!

Before you cave in and add a few more months or years of misery to your life, read these tips on how to get rid of an ex.

What Made Him Want You Back?

Most likely, your ex saw you re-engaging with life. You may be working out, changing your hair or wardrobe, and generally making positive changes in your life. He���s intrigued and even challenged by this new you.

Without realizing it, you took the steps I often recommend for women who want their ex back. I���m not saying what you did was wrong, because it wasn���t. It was exactly right, but it had a positive impact on your ex. So now, what can you do?

How to Get Rid of an Ex: Make a List

Sit down and review your relationship with this guy. What was it that made you want to break up with him in the first place? What are the chances that he���s changed and those reasons would no longer exist?

People break up because something, or most often, someone is broken, usually both people. Your confidence has dipped. He���s a misogynist or a narcissist. Your communication was poor. One of you gained more confidence while the other stayed stuck with low confidence. The list is miles long.

Do you see any evidence of positive change? Sure, you���ve changed, but has he? A misogynist or a narcissist isn���t likely to change so you can forget it if that���s your ex.

Now, review the men you���ve dated and make a list of their positive traits. You can include your most recent ex in your evaluation. When you review these positive traits, how many does your ex have right now? Not when you started dating but when you broke up. Be honest.

Knowing how to get rid of an ex requires honesty with yourself about him and your relationship with him. Just because he came back and stirred some old chemistry doesn���t mean the two of you will work this time.

Talk to Your Friends and Family

These folks were with you during the difficult time you and your ex experienced. They helped you think through your decision to break up with him and while you may be feeling that chemistry and focusing on only the good memories, they recall the tears and anguish he put you through before you finally decided to get out.

When you want to know how to get rid of an ex, you need to be prepared for your friends and family to take a tough stance. They don���t want to see you get hurt and they���ll be there to support you now as you try to stand strong with your decision.

How to Get Rid of an Ex | Stay Away From Mutual Friends

The friends you shared are usually the ones who are telling your ex how great you look and all the details of your new, confident life. They don���t intend harm, it���s just casual conversation. In fact, he may overhear it and not directly be part of the conversation.

If some of those friends were your friends to begin with, you can kindly remind them that you���re looking into how to get rid of an ex, not how to bring him back. They probably don���t even realize what they���re doing.

If those friends were his friends, it���s time to extricate yourself from the group. They might think they���re helping when they aren���t. They see how miserable he is and they don���t realize you don���t want him back, so they share news of your new life with him.

Block. Block. Block Him from Your New Life

Depending on how involved the two of you were, you may now share some aspects of your life, like bank accounts or other memberships.

It���s time to separate those accounts. If he added any money to the account, ask for a cashier���s check and mail it to him. Remove his name from the account or close it all together and open a new one.

For any other memberships, your best move is probably the same, close the account you share and open one that���s just yours. Let him know things are closed and if he wants to rejoin, he���ll need to do so on his own.

While you���re removing him from your life, block him on your social media and other accounts. If he���s bugging you by text or phone calls, you can block him. While he can still find out what you���re doing through friends, at least you���re making it more of a challenge for him to do so.

How to Get Rid of an Ex | Be Blunt

I know you don���t want to hurt him, even if he���s being a pain right now, but you���ve probably heard the saying, nice guys, or in your case, nice gals finish last.

Unfortunately, this isn���t a time for being nice. If all other attempts have failed, it���s time to be direct. This is the language he understands best. ���I���m sorry Bill, but I really am not interested in getting back together. Please stop trying to win me back.���

Shake Things Up

He knows your routines, so it���s time to change them. I know this is an annoying thing to do, but it reduces your chances of running into him. For example, if you both went to the same gym before, start a new membership somewhere else. Get your coffee somewhere else. Drive a different route to work. Shop for groceries someplace else. Move to a new home.

All these things help make you more difficult to find.

Of course, if you have a stalker on your hands, you need to take even more drastic measures, like moving to a new town, not just a new home, changing your phone number and other information he knows.

The Nuclear Option: Contacting His Family

In your quest for knowledge on how to get rid of an ex, you probably didn���t consider this one and the success of it will depend on not only his relationship with his family, but yours too.

If you had a good relationship with them, you might be able to go to them now and ask them to intervene on your behalf. Mothers are especially effective in these efforts, although if he���s closer to his father and you���re comfortable speaking with him, start there.

Without accusation or speaking anything negative about their son or loved one, share with them that you���ve been trying to get your ex to leave you alone. Ask them if they can help you by speaking with him and asking him to stop.

It���s possible they will be more effective than you���ve been.

How to Get Rid of an Ex

Exes have a way of noticing the positive changes you���re making in your life and it intrigues them, whether you want it to or not. They suddenly feel challenged by this new you. You���re mysterious to them again and their interest is piqued, especially if they���ve had little luck in moving forward themselves.

Try the steps above on how to get rid of an ex and hopefully, he will see the light and go away. Be kind and encourage him to move on without you.

Stay positive, but stand firm in your resolution to keep him out of your life and don���t offer up being friends as an alternative. He will only view this as another way to win you back. Tell him instead that if he can stop pursuing you for a relationship, maybe some day the two of you can be friends again.

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How to Not Date a Jerk

Have you ever wondered how to not date a jerk? They seem to be everywhere. No matter how hard you try to avoid them, they seem to ooze out of the woodwork like roaches waiting to pounce.

To be clear, today, we���re talking about lazy, unmotivated, broke, selfish guys who put on a heck of a show for the first few dates and then show their true colors.

Slow Your Roll

Take the time to get to know the man you���re dating, especially if he���s pushing you. Screen him with a phone or zoom call. If he checks out, schedule a daytime date in public.

Daytime dates offer him little chance to have sex with you and help reveal his true character. Don���t have sex with him or you���ll be blinded by your emotions. Hold off until he has proven himself to be worthy of you.

How to Not Date a Jerk: Watch for Patterns to Emerge

Dating is like a marketing exercise. You both want to show your best side to the other person, so you try to hide any baggage and stay on your best behavior.

You won���t hear about the rash around his balls or his drinking problem, and you won���t have a clue that his ex is poking a look-alike voodoo doll of his face with sewing needles.

His true colors usually arrive near the three-month mark of your relationship. The curtain falls and the real man steps forward. He begins to feel comfortable with you and you haven���t dumped him yet, so he feels a little safer showing more of his true colors.

Until you reach this milestone, keep your emotions in check and try not to sleep with him yet. If he respects you, he���ll wait and so far, he hasn���t yet fully proven himself worthy of you. If he���s pushing for sex and trying to crash your boundaries, it might be time to let him go.

Don���t let this guy meet your kids until you���re sure he���s not just another jerk. This keeps them safe from harm and keeps them from falling for him, only to suffer disappointment later���again.

Date Multiple Men

Before you protest, know that he���s dating other women while you���re still in this early phase of getting to know one another. I recommend you do the same. This keeps you from falling too hard for him and allows you to keep your options open.

If you only date one guy at a time, you believe you can mold him into the guy you want. You don���t see that you have other options, and you fall too hard, too fast. You also don���t get a chance to compare different types of men with clarity.

You will never change this guy! Knowing how to not date a jerk means dating more than one guy!

How to Not Date a Jerk | Know What You Want in a Man

Write down what it is you want from a good man. Think back to other men you���ve dated. What did you like about them? What did you dislike? Form a list of those criteria and look for men who have some of them. You���ll never find the perfect guy. All you need is the guy who���s perfect for you.

Know what your dealbreakers are. For example, do you want to date someone who drinks to excess? Would you rather not date someone in a dangerous job? This is a good exercise, as long as you don���t make the list so strict that no guy will ever qualify. Then, you���re just avoiding a commitment.

Embrace Being Single

After you exit a relationship, remain single for at least four months, preferably longer. I know you might feel lonely and all your friends are dating, blah blah blah. Knowing how to not date a jerk means taking time to reestablish yourself as an independent single woman first.

Doing this gives you time to get to know yourself again, rebuild your confidence, get a handle on the current dating scene and reconnect with friends, hobbies and passions that may have been set aside during that last relationship.

This break from dating also allows you to get over your last relationship fully so you aren���t carrying old relationship baggage into a new, potentially great relationship.

Knowing how to not date a jerk includes embracing your single life and taking the time to become a confident, independent woman.��Riding Solo, a book written specifically for women who want to do just that, walks you through overcoming the stigma of being single on to becoming that independent, confident woman. This places you in the best possible position to find and date wonderful, great men who are��not jerks.

BUY NOW How to Not Date a Jerk | Meet His Friends

Spend an evening hanging out with his friends and watch how they treat him. Do they show him respect? Does anyone pull you aside and warn you about him? How does he treat them and any other women in the room?

Meeting his friends helps you know more about what he���s really like. What type of guys are they? Are they players? If so, so is he. Guaranteed. If they seem like upstanding guys who have steady girlfriends and jobs, then he���s an upstanding guy too.

Does he get drunk? If so, how does he act then? Does he become someone else entirely? Is he rude, discourteous, angry, jealous, and so on? This isn���t normal behavior for someone who���s drunk, so don���t let him tell you it was the alcohol. Many people can get drunk and be perfectly nice, funny people who never verbally or physically assault anyone.

Conversely, let him meet your friends. They will be bulldogs for you. They can ask him questions you either can���t or won���t. They can dig into his past and are better able to ask him embarrassing questions that might draw out those true colors of his.

The only caveat is that if they give you an opinion you don���t like or even a warning, you should resolve to listen. They aren���t wearing your rose-colored glasses and they have your best interest at heart. If they���re seeing a problem, there is one and you���re choosing to close your eyes to it.

Use Your Intuition

Your intuition is a very powerful tool and yet, you probably ignore it sometimes. We all do if our intuition is telling us something we don���t want to hear. Your gut may be telling you something with this guy is off. Listen to that gut instinct.

Take some time to honestly look at what���s giving you that gut feeling. Is it his behavior or something he said? Did someone else say something to you that���s niggling at the back of your mind?

How to Not Date a Jerk | Look at Your Patterns

Humans are creatures of habit and tend to repeat failures, rather than stop and examine them for potential lessons.

Take some time to look at the past men you���ve dated, especially the ones who squarely fall into the jerk category. What is it about these guys that attracts you? Do you like the feeling of rescuing someone? Is it that you somehow are afraid you aren���t worthy of great guys or you don���t feel as if you can attract men other than these guys?

Take that exercise from above and look at the bad qualities in the men you���ve dated. What about those qualities seems to keep drawing you in? The excitement of dating a bad boy? Are you trying to prove something to someone? Really take the time to examine the why behind finding these guys datable.

Form a list of those negative qualities and immediately dismiss any man who shows even one of them.

Last week, I sat down with a woman named Jennifer who also wondered how not to date a jerk. As we talked, she discovered that she chose broken men ever time. She sought them out. Even if a better guy was sitting right in front of her, she chose the fixer-upper guy instead.

This is a low-confidence, low self-esteem, and low self-worth move. This need to fix others is a way of avoiding fixing yourself. It places you squarely in a co-dependent relationship and those never work long-term.

What Jennifer needs to do is embrace being single, learn to become a confident, independent woman and then seek out a great guy who deserves her. She needs a dating time-out to find herself again and rebuild from the damage of her dating past.

This is called a co-dependent relationship and it will always fail. Her fix? Embrace being single and take my confidence courses along with understanding men. The result? Now she is killing it!

Wrapping it Up

Knowing how to not date a jerk is easy, once you know what to do:

Slow your rollLook for patternsDate multiple menKnow what you wantEmbrace being singleMeet his friendsLook at your dating patternsTrust your intuition

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Is He Moving Too Fast? How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

Is he moving too fast? Can you control the pace of a relationship?

You���ve known this guy for fourteen days. He texts every day, makes future dates and even talks about a trip to Italy. You���ve already met his kids and you���re concerned that it���s a bit too early for him to meet yours.

You like him. You think. But he���s moving too fast in your opinion.

What do you do?

Here���s what most women do and why their new relationship subsequently fails. They allow a man to dictate the pace of the relationship.

Unfortunately, men���s mouths get ahead of their intentions.

I���m guilty of this myself. I think I really like a woman, so I go all in. Then, I realize suddenly that I���m headed for a serious relationship with someone I hardly know. Deep down, I know I���ve been selling her my best self and she���s never seen the not-so-great side of me.

Men panic and flake because it���s easier than backing out of the Italy trip. It happens all the time.

It���s not your fault. Your only mistake is letting him determine the pace of a relationship because you like him and you���re happy to be dating a descent guy.

The person who controls the pace of the relationship becomes the attracter. If you slow him down, he’ll be more into you because you hold power. You become a challenge and, as you know, men are competitors who strive to earn your love.

Controlling the pace of a relationship benefits you exponentially. It also becomes a test for him. If you slow things down and he gets angry at you, you just saved yourself months, maybe years, of dating a potential head case!

How Do You Slow Him Down?

Slowing him down is easy. You can use this exact template or add your own spin.

���Gregg, I���m having a ton of fun and I like you. I like the direction we are headed in, but I���ve learned that getting to know someone takes me time and I need to slow things down. Okay?���

They key element is that you tell him that you like him and that you like where you are headed and then you state your goal of slowing the pace of the relationship.

You could even kid about the psychology of guys by saying, ���Jim, I���ve dated guys before who were this eager only to realize their mouths got ahead of their brains. Let���s chill a bit and take our time. Now, what movie are we watching tonight?���

This example states what you know through your own experience, gives him a nice exit to cool his jets, is humorous, and then gets right back to the fun of dating!

Either example works. Just make sure you use one and use it as soon as you wonder if he is moving too fast.

What Happens After You Tell Him He is Moving Too Fast?

A good guy gets it. He talks with himself and realize he was shooting for the stars too soon. He respects you for telling him, and he wants to up his game to keep you in his life.

The best part is other women will pale in comparison to you! You are the only one who put the brakes on his pushiness and that increases his respect for you.

Let him take the reigns again. It���s okay. You���ve exercised your power and now you can let him continue making plans alongside you. If he still pushes to meet your kids, smile and let him know now is not the time, but maybe soon.

What are the stages of a relationship?

Summary | How to Control the Pace of a Relationship

This is one of the many attraction principles that reel in a guy like a cat to tuna. Few women realize that controlling the pace of the relationship helps attract the man into your life not out.

Controlling the dance is a way of expressing confidence and establishing boundaries with someone you���re interested in.

The next time a guys mouth gets ahead of his intentions, you know what to do!

Ultimately, the success of any relationship is excellent communication. Without it, you have nothing. Learning to control the pace of a relationship is all about using your communication skills.

In��The Power to Communicate, you learn these skills! This book isn’t written as a relationship building book, and yet, without great communication, no relationship can survive.

Improving your communication skills benefits all your relationships, at work, at home, with friends and family. If you’re going to read one book this month, make it this one!

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Six Steps to Save a Relationship

Many people try to recover from a failed relationship but what if you want to save a relationship before it fails? Your odds increase if you can recognize you���re losing him and intervene before he walks out the door.

But how? What can you do to save a relationship?

Many relationships fail because of poor communication, which usually results in arguing and name calling. Eventually, the damage is done and there is no path to recovery. Too many bad things were said, and contempt grew. As a dating and life coach I realize that this stems not from a lack of love but from not understanding where the other person is coming from.

Both parties place barriers around themselves that the other cannot penetrate and then it���s hello divorce court.

Here are six steps to save a relationship and reverse the damage before it���s too late.

How to Save a Relationship by Stepping Away

It can be very challenging to step away from one another during a disagreement, especially if you live together. And yet, stepping away allows you to take stock and ask the right questions to further understand what the other person is thinking. It allows you calm down and become less emotional so you can use rational thought to solve the problem.

Take a weekend by yourself, with your family or girlfriends. Ask yourself how things started to spiral downward and why? Don���t just place blame on him, take responsibility for your part too.

Plan to Fix it

In your opinion, your guy spends too much time with his friends. A great plan might to be to stop arguing about it and instead, support his desire to be with his friends and start hanging out more with your friends. This can be quite healthy. Many times, we feel jealous when our partner wants to spend time with his friends. This is a signal that you need to develop more independence and it���s independence that can save a relationship.

Maybe you don���t have friends like he has. This is your wakeup call to get some new friends. If you have no friends, you will tend to make him your hobby, and that is a recipe for disaster.

By nurturing your own friendships, you will find that he���ll enjoy his independence and subsequently want to spend more time with you. You give him the opportunity to miss you. This is a good thing.

Learn His Love Language

He might love touch and yet you never hold his hand. Gifts might be your thing but not his. Find out what his language is and deliver it to him. Ask him to do the same. Talk about it. It���s fun and it can really make a difference in knowing how to save a relationship.

Save a Relationship by Learning to Communicate Properly

Do you know how to argue? I bet you don���t. They don���t teach this stuff in school. Arguments start because one or both of you believe you���re right and there is no other alternative but yours.

Failure to understand where the other person is coming from can ruin a marriage. There are always two sides to an argument, and you find it by listening to your significant other.

For example, you may find that your man is not affectionate, not because he doesn���t love you, but because his dad never showed affection to his mom when he was growing up. And the few times he did, mom rejected him because he was drunk.

By listening, you discover you had the reason wrong to begin with. Your guy is jaded because of a childhood memory. This is how relationships fail and how you can save a relationship by understanding proper communication.

Learn the Importance of Timing

People fight when they get triggered. But the proper time to engage with grievances is when we are getting along and things are going well.

This can be difficult. No one wants to bring up the bad stuff when we are having fun picking apples, drinking cider and eating donuts.

But this is the exact time to ask your partner questions on how you can improve things between you!

Try it. Bring up things that are bothering with positive win/win solutions. You will be amazed!

Create a Win/Win
In my international best seller book, The Power to Communicate, I talk about a time I was pulled over speeding in Florida. I was doing 90 mph, top down, in my Jaguar.��

When I got pulled over, I could see that the trooper was not pleased. Before he could get to my car, I said, ���Sir, I���m an idiot, I just arrived from Boston, and I was giving my car a good run to shake the rust off. My exit is one mile ahead and I didn���t see any troopers ��� so I gunned it!���

He sat on the guardrail, turned away from me, and he appeared to be laughing.

He was.

He said, ���In my 25 years no one has ever been so fucking honest with me!���

I proved I lived in Boston, we chatted more, and he said, ���Have a good day.���

What happened? I provided a win/win for both of us. You see, police officers want respect, and they rarely get it. I gave him respect by being honest. Everyone denies speeding or doing anything wrong. I did the opposite. I admitted I was wrong, explained why, and he rewarded me with what I wanted ��� not getting a felony charge for driving to endanger.

Six Steps to Save a Relationship Summary

Apply these six steps to save a relationship. Step away and assess the constant arguments. Listen with respect and learn where he is coming from and then make a win/win plan to fix the situation.

If we all did this, the world would be a much better place. ��

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How to Help a Broken Heart | Getting Over a Guy

Is there anything worse than getting over a guy that you have been with for years? How do you help your broken heart?

The end is so sudden and it���s usually not very pretty. Science states that getting over a guy can be worse than breaking a cocaine addiction.

What can you do to help your broken heart?

Grieve

You must let it all out. Instead of holding it all in or being afraid of losing control, let it all go. Yell and scream. Cry big ugly tears. Whatever it takes to get rid of the initial feelings of pain and grief, go for it.

Set a time limit for your grief. Give yourself x-number of days to be miserable and eat all the ice cream you desire. At the end of that day ��� go to the next step.

Make a List

At the top of a piece of paper, put your ex���s name. Then, form two columns. At the top of the first one write ���What I hate about John.��� At the top of the next column, write, ���More things I hate about John.�������

Then fill up the page! Grab more paper if you need it. Hopefully, you���ll start to laugh a little. Then, rip it to shreds and throw John in the trash.

How to Help a Broken Heart by Getting Busy

I���m serious. It���s called displacement. John is the water sitting in the glass. Fill the glass full of ice, which for this analogy means activities. Whenever you start thinking about your ex, find an activity to occupy your mind in a more productive way.

Call your friends. Tell them you need their help. Book a trip. Get to the gym. Get a massage. Go sing some karaoke. The busier you stay the better you will feel. Time will soon take care of the rest.

Love Thyself

I���m talking self-care here. Twenty twenty-two is the year for self-care and I have just what you need. Get my international best seller, The Little Self-Care Handbook. It will walk you through six different types of self-care and provide you with tons of ideas on how to implement each.

When you practice self-care, you���re saying you value yourself and you���re also helping to eliminate some of the negativity from your life. This is time you deserve to spend on yourself.

Break All Contact

When I say break all contact, I mean all. I���m assuming you don���t want him back so there is absolutely zero need to leave any communication avenues open. Block his number. Dump him on social media. And run over his cat.

Just kidding���I love cats. I���m just trying to make you smile.

Of course, the caveat to this is if you have children together. Then you need to limit your conversations to matters that involve the children and stay away from the topic of your relationship.

Build Your Confidence

Breakups do a number on your confidence. One or both of you may be placing the blame of the breakup on you, but a breakup is never about just one person!

Take some time to listen to your own self-talk and make improvements. Note where you���re talking down to yourself and then ask, what would I say to my best friend? That���s what you should say to yourself too. We���re always a lot harder on ourselves than we are on others.

Get out there and take some risks. Do something that scares the heck out of you. Try something new! These types of activities also help to build your confidence.

Get Back in the Game ASAP

This one is hard I know. But to help a broken heart, you need displace him too. Once your confidence is on the rise, work on getting your profile up online. Look at potential guys and read their profiles. Maybe go to a wine tasting or a charity event with a friend.

Then, ease into dating a bit. At first you will compare every guy to John and that���s okay. Just remind yourself of all the things you wrote on your list ��� the things that annoy you about your ex.

How to Help a Broken Heart with a Journal

Writing helps you process your grief and work through your pain. Write everyday about what happened and why. Write how you are feeling and what you can do better in the future. Let the words flow naturally and see where they take you. Surprising revelations can come from allowing your thoughts and feelings to come out in a journal.

Don���t be critical of yourself and don���t blame yourself. You���ll find your feelings will gyrate up and down. You���ll go through the nine stages of grieving.

Soon, you will feel better, but keep journaling and start setting goals for the future. What will your next man look like? How will he act? Where will you meet him. This sets the stage for your bright future!

Laugh and Dance

This is my personal cure! I have made a pact with myself to get crazy when I���m down and out. I crank my favorite tunes and dance around my living room. Then I laugh. I don���t want to hear music and I don���t want to dance but I make myself. It���s a game changer. It works every time.

Work Out as Hard as You Can

Another favorite of mine is to get in a good workout. Get angry during your workout. Go to CrossFit. Run on the beach. Bet the crap out of a punching bag with John���s face pinned to it. This produces something called a runner���s high as it sends chemicals coursing through your body. These chemicals, or endorphins, make you feel good.

What Not to Do to Help a Broken Heart

Do not self-medicate with alcohol. This will make you feel worse in the morning and will most certainly set you back. Promise yourself to proceed through this with a clear head.

Do not start sleeping with multiple guys. This is not the answer. This is your mind trying to play a trick on you by attempting to jump-start love hormones again. Don���t fall for it! I had a reader share that she did this for revenge and then she got herpes. She went from feeling terrible to wanting to jump off a cliff. Enough said.

Do not go through this alone. Men often stay home alone and wallow. Do not do this. Rally your friends and your family. You would do this for your friends, and they will be there for you too. Get a cat or puppy. Run. Move.

How to Help a Broken Heart | Getting Over a Guy Conclusion

Getting over a guy sucks! Take solace in the fact that every person on this huge spinning planet has gone through, or will go through, the same awful feelings you���re experiencing now! I know that doesn���t automatically make you feel better but remember that they���ve all survived this and you can too.

At first, it feels as if your entire world has come crashing down around you, but as you begin picking up the pieces, you will find the clarity you need to process the breakup more efficiently and begin to move forward with your life.

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Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man?

Email after email I receive asks, ���Gregg, why is it so hard to find a good man? Where are they?���

If you can even get a date with a guy you meet online, and if he happens to shows up, chances are he will underwhelm you. It���s becoming a problem.

Let���s explore why this might be the case.

13 Reasons Why it���s so Hard to Find a Good ManGetting Laid is Easier Than Ever

Long gone are the days of talking on the phone and setting up a date. Hookup sites have taken away the old ways and provided men and women instant gratification with a simple swipe to the left or right.

Guys can skip the dinner and go straight to dessert. Women who want the dinner find guys are too lazy and why would they? They don���t need to.

Modern dating has turned into casual dating. That sucks for recently divorced older women who desire the old fashion ways of dating.

Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man? Porn

Porn has flooded the internet. Guys can jerk-off without and any emotional involvement. They figure it doesn���t cost them a dime so why date a girl and go through all the emotion and trouble?

Guys are Intimidated by Successful Women

Our society has been dumbed down. Heck, kids get trophies simply for participating. Competition and success don���t get rewarded like the old days. If you grew up thinking average is the new goal, it becomes intimidating to attempt to date an above average woman. Instead, he shies away.

Women ask me if they should forego telling men how successful they are. Really? Is beginning a relationship with a lie really the answer?

Frustration Sets in

After twenty dates and meeting twenty losers, you can become frustrated. This makes the entire dating process a chore, and once it becomes a chore, everything starts to go downhill. You might even consider throwing in the towel. Many women do.

You Don���t Understand Men

Women don���t understand men. This is especially the case when all your dating tips come from your family and friends. If you don���t know how men think and what they like, how the heck are you going to attract a good man?

You aren���t. Do yourself a favor and consult the pros on this one and you will be much better off.

You Don���t Know Yourself

If you have been married for twenty years, your identity might be all wrapped up with your kids and ex-husband. If you don���t take the time to rediscover yourself, you���ll make poor choices when it comes to men.

Build yourself so he will come is a much better choice.

You���re Either Too Easy or Too Hard to Get

Men like a challenge and some women don���t deliver one because they have no boundaries. Other women play too hard to get with profiles that state their demands.

Again, this comes down to knowing how men think and how to read them. Different types of men require different responses. A shy guy will need more of a push from you, and a confident man might desire more of a chase.

Read his profile, read the man, and react accordingly with your emails and texts. ��

You Don���t Know How to Lead

Many women expect the guy to take the lead. But some men lack confidence too. Guys can feel awkward at the whole online dating thing, so they need a woman to take charge, in the beginning. I coach women to do this, at least at the start, and then suggest they back off a bit.

Your Expectations are Too High��������������������������������������������������������������������

Men can be awkward at the beginning, as you just read. What you first see might not be the real him because he���s a nervous wreck. He might stumble with his words or come across the wrong way. Give him a fighting chance by asking him questions.

Once he becomes comfortable, his traits will shine. If they don���t, move on.

Your Expectations are Too Low

If you had a sexless marriage for the last five years, you might take the first breathing man who favorites your profile. Beware of doing this. Take some time to settle into your singles life before you start dating so you won���t get hurt.

Are There Too Few Good Guys Out There?

I challenge this statement. There are tons of good guys out there. The issue is that there are ten times as many losers than there are good guys, so it appears there are no good men out there. You must weed them out. That can suck if you have no experience in the dating jungle.

If you are constantly dating the losers, your desire to keep dating wains. Consult the pros. Read everything you can from a dating coach you like who knows his or her trade.

You Think You Know What You Like

I see this a lot. He���s got to be six feet tall and wealthy. Okay, does this mean that a 5��� 10-inch guy is out? What if he has a great job that he loves but he makes an average income?

Too many women have these characteristic biases based on nothing. Try dating a guy who rides a motorcycle even if you hate how loud they are. Date a guy who���s average height and see if he���s a fit before excluding every average height man out there.

Yes, I understand there are non-starters, but relax the minor ones at least at first. You���ll be surprised.

You Aren���t Really Trying

Tell me, are you really trying? Or are you going about dating in a half-ass way? If your efforts are checking your profile once a week and rarely going out to get exposure, you aren���t trying very hard to find a man.

Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man? Summary

Finding a good guy takes effort. It���s a job, but it should be a fun job. If it���s the last thing you���re motivated to do, you won���t find your knight.

Get exposure online and offline. Pursue hobbies and passions where you will meet new men. This makes the dating process easy because you start off by having something in common.

Most players don���t partake in bettering themselves. They swim at bars and on sites like Tinder. Put in the time, make new friends, network, keep growing as a person, have fun, and you will find a great guy!

The post Why is it so Hard to Find a Good Man? appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

How to be a Good Girlfriend

How to be a Good Girlfriend

I received an email from Mary the other day, and her question was how to be a good girlfriend. She and her boyfriend Ben have been together for three years and things are great but her question is a great one so let���s dig in and find the answer!

While it might not seem important to ask about being a good girlfriend or boyfriend when things are going well, the truth is that it���s the perfect time! Don���t allow your relationship to slide into autopilot. That���s when things can quickly decline!

How to be a Good Girlfriend | Like What He Likes

When you share a hobby your boyfriend has, a strange thing happens. He begins to equate his love of his hobby with his love for you. The love deepens.

You don���t need to show an interest in every hobby, just one or two. You don���t even need to be good at it, just learn about it and show you���re intrigued.

I���m really excited about my new RV. It���s my mobile office and is wrapped with one of my best-selling books. I call it the ���G-Rex.���

I tinker with the electronics and keep upgrading the lithium power. I installed new tables that I probably don���t need. What does my girlfriend do? She comes out, sits inside, and asks questions.

That excites me! I look forward to her visits and enjoy teaching her how the systems work, and I listen to her input on how we can make it better for when we travel.

This forms a bond between us and we grow together.

Now, are there activities that we do not share together? Of course, and that���s okay too.

Learn to Compromise

Man, I wish couples would do more of this. Instead, I see both sides holding their ground like it���s a competition. To be a good girlfriend, learn to compromise from time to time to avoid building contempt and bitterness.

Your guy loves watching football on Sunday. You hate it.�� Ask yourself why you hate it, and you���ll find your answer. I realized my girlfriend hated it because she didn���t understand it, so I broke out the laser pointer and explained it to her.

Guess what? Now, she loves it!

Maybe your reasons are different. You have separation anxiety and football Sunday means your guy is over his friend���s house. A reasonable compromise might be to encourage him to have his friends come to your house. Take interest. Learn the sport. Entice him with food!

If it���s still a no-go, he needs to learn compromise.

Pay Attention to How You Act in Public

One great way to be a good girlfriend is to avoid airing your dirty laundry in public.

I know a woman who finds pleasure airing her distain for her husband to her friends while they���re together in public. Really? How do you think he feels when this happens?

This is the fast lane to a breakup. We all have our gripes, but they should be discussed and resolved in private.�� Humiliating your guy in front of others or on social media is hurtful and will only lead to contempt.

 

Learn His Love Language

Gary Chapman gave us all a wonderful gift. Use it! If touch is his love language, then touch him more often. Give him massages out of the blue or grab his hand when you are walking.

This is an easy way to be a great girlfriend he���ll want to stay with!

I see couples who are constantly swimming upstream trying to get along when the answers are right in front of them. Ask yourself the most basic question ��� what does he like? What does he need? What is his love language?

Instead, women (and men) are fixated on what they need and not their partner. Stop this. Relationships only work when each person understands what the other person needs to feel happy and satisfied and takes steps to fulfill these needs.

How to Be a Good Girlfriend | Stand by Him

This one can get tricky when it comes to family. Uncle Joe might take issue with your boyfriend���s politics. How you react goes a long way towards being a good girlfriend.

I���ll argue that you probably spend a lot more time with your boyfriend than Uncle Joe so it would behoove you to support him while in Uncle Joe���s presence, even if you disagree with said politics.

Supporting him doesn���t mean that you need to always agree with him. Maintaining your own set of values is key to a healthy relationship. It���s when outsiders, even family, attempt to throw a wrench between you that you need to stand up for him.

That makes you a good girlfriend!

Give Him His Space

Let him go golfing. Let him go out with his friends. Too many women lock down their guy.

Why? They don���t trust! They need to be with their guy every free minute!

If you don���t have trust, you���re doomed anyway, so why bother. Let him have some fun away from you. He���ll appreciate you. He���ll be excited to get back to you AND he will have fun stories to tell you.

And this applies to you when you go have fun with your friends. Anticipation of seeing each other is a great feeling and adds layers and layers of positivity to your relationship!

How to be a Good Girlfriend Summary

There are so many ways to be a good girlfriend. Sit down and make your own list and have your guy make his how to be a good boyfriend list too. Make a date of it. Then, check things off each other���s list as he or she fulfills them.

You can even add to each other���s list ��� who better knows how they would like to be treated!

Learn His Love Language

Gary Chapman gave us all a wonderful gift. Use it! If touch is his love language, then touch him more often. Give him massages out of the blue or grab his hand when you are walking.

This is an easy way to be a great girlfriend he���ll want to stay with!

I see couples who are constantly swimming upstream trying to get along when the answers are right in front of them. Ask yourself the most basic question ��� what does he like? What does he need? What is his love language?

Instead, women (and men) are fixated on what they need and not their partner. Stop this. Relationships only work when each person understands what the other person needs to feel happy and satisfied and takes steps to fulfill these needs.

How to Be a Good Girlfriend | Stand by Him

This one can get tricky when it comes to family. Uncle Joe might take issue with your boyfriend���s politics. How you react goes a long way towards being a good girlfriend.

I���ll argue that you probably spend a lot more time with your boyfriend than Uncle Joe so it would behoove you to support him while in Uncle Joe���s presence, even if you disagree with said politics.

Supporting him doesn���t mean that you need to always agree with him. Maintaining your own set of values is key to a healthy relationship. It���s when outsiders, even family, attempt to throw a wrench between you that you need to stand up for him.

That makes you a good girlfriend!

Give Him His Space

Let him go golfing. Let him go out with his friends. Too many women lock down their guy.

Why? They don���t trust! They need to be with their guy every free minute!

If you don���t have trust, you���re doomed anyway, so why bother. Let him have some fun away from you. He���ll appreciate you. He���ll be excited to get back to you AND he will have fun stories to tell you.

And this applies to you when you go have fun with your friends. Anticipation of seeing each other is a great feeling and adds layers and layers of positivity to your relationship!

How to be a Good Girlfriend Summary

There are so many ways to be a good girlfriend. Sit down and make your own list and have your guy make his how to be a good boyfriend list too. Make a date of it. Then, check things off each other���s list as he or she fulfills them.

You can even add to each other���s list ��� who better knows how they would like to be treated!

The post How to be a Good Girlfriend appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.