Is He Right For Me?
Gregg, I have a great 2 ½ year relationship going but I am worried, and I am hoping you can guide me and help me decide if he is right for me. I am 33 years old and he the same. My guy is awesome in many ways – he treats me well, he showers me with love and he has the same family goals and timing as I do. The sex is great and my family loves him too.
So what’s wrong, you ask?
I just don’t feel that he is my soulmate. We don’t “click” quite as well as I think we should. I have dated crappy men that were more compatible with me it seems. Our highs were higher, if you will, then they are with my current guy. Of course, our lows were terrible.
Am I making any sense? Is he right for me? Am I just getting cold feet? Is there a way that I can get him to work on this and “get me” more?
Your avid follower,
Ming
Hi Ming, thanks for your question. It’s a dandy!
As a dating coach who concentrates on women and their dealings with men, I have come to learn one thing: A woman needs to trust her intuition!
If you are asking me this question, then something is wrong. Granted you told me very little in those 150 words but they screamed that this is the wrong guy to spend the rest of your life with. He’s the wrong guy because if you are feeling this way now, then you won’t be spending the rest of your life with him.
Probably not the answer you wanted to hear but I must be honest. Compatibility is super important. Chemistry arrives on day one, and a woman should know that her guy is the right man to spend the rest of her life with soon thereafter.
I find many women just don’t want to let a guy go because they feel their man is such a great catch and they might not be able to find a better man. They don’t want some other woman to have him.
That’s not good enough.
That leads to a divorce and misery in, say, three years. Chemistry comes naturally and can’t be “fixed.” Sure, he could grow on you, but don’t you think he should have by now?
I would prefer that the sex be just fair – that is something that can be improved upon, compatibility less so.
Dig deep Ming. Really think things through and ask yourself, “Is he right for me?” before you walk down the aisle. There is no rush. I would highly recommend that you take some time out from this relationship and seek clarity from the outside looking in. If you do, I bet your situation will become clearer.
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