Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 34

Enough to Make You Blush – SubGuide Book Club Week 1: Ch 1-3

Welcome to Week 1: Today through February 11th

Read and discuss Chapters 1-3

If you’re here, you have read the first part, or are currently reading it!

Please go ahead and start (or continue) the conversation! Remember to come back to continue to respond to others who comment throughout the week (and month)! Write as much or as little as you please, and don’t forget to link your own blog if you have one!

Some thoughts and questions to help you while you read:

How much do you know about this kink?
What are you curious to learn?
How do you hope this book will help you explore erotic humiliation?
What do you need from the author to understand this kink?

Only post about Chapters 1-3, please! Spoilers totally allowed for those chapters, but no spoilers for the remainder of the book, please! Save those for the later posts.

Haven’t finished this week’s reading yet? Come back when you’re done and join in the conversation!

Next week: Ch 4-7

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on February 05, 2016 08:00

Ask lunaKM – Are Dominants Supposed to Act This Way?

Thank you so Kayla Lords for answering this question from a reader!

Hello lunaKM , I have recently met a very dominant man. I have always been a bit submissive and love the idea of worshipping a man fully. The first night we were together I got pregnant I am keeping the baby and he is thrilled. But he tells me I need to research in order to be a true submissive and says that if I don’t get this lifestyle we can’t further our relationship meaning he doesn’t care if I raise this baby alone.

Everything I’ve read tells me a true dominant is supposed to be kind, caring, loving, and patient. I am so new to this and scared. He calls me pet and I do mostly everything he asks of me. But he will ignore my texts and go and do drugs and get drunk with friends. It’s not that I want to stop him from having fun but it’s the fact that he has told me he will sleep with whomever he wants whenever he wants but he wants me to be his and his only unless he says otherwise.

Everything I have read does not say this is OK in a true Sub Dom relationship respect has to go both ways right? He will do things against my wishes and at times messes with my head which again I have read a Dominant should never mess with the emotions of his sub or get involved with her at times he is not in the right frame of mind. If you could please help me and explain to me how I’m supposed to cope with this I would appreciate it so much thank you.

Sincerely,
Scared, Pregnant, and Confused

Dear Scared, Pregnant, and Confused,

First, let me send you ((HUGS)) on the unplanned for (but celebrated) pregnancy.

Second, I don’t tend to give advice this harshly, and I try to look at both sides to every situation, but in your case I only have one thing to say.

Run from this relationship as fast as you can.

He’s the father of your baby so you now have a link to him forever, but that doesn’t mean he should be or even deserves to be your Dominant.

Every action you’ve mentioned is a red flag in the BDSM community of a very uneducated Dominant or someone pretending to be a Dominant.

Not all D/s relationships are a love match or long-term, and yes, some Dominants have multiple partners. But everything is negotiated and agreed to before it happens. What you’ve described sounds like something much, much different.

Let me start at the beginning and go down point-by-point.

“…he tells me I need to research in order to be a true submissive and says that if I don’t get this lifestyle we can’t further our relationship meaning he doesn’t care if I raise this baby alone…”

There is no such thing as a “true submissive” – first and foremost. How you submit to your Dominant depends on a million factors including your personality, his personality, your kinks, his kinks, what you like or don’t like, his likes and dislikes, your health, your life, your family. You get what I’m saying? Yes, you can read and learn about D/s and submission, but there is no research that is going to tell you how to be a “true” submissive. It’s all part of a relationship and constant, on-going communication and negotiation. It’s unique to you as individuals and as a couple. Any Dominant worth his or her salt will help you learn about submission either by sharing what they know, pointing out resources to you, or learning by your side. The fact that you have to do it on your own or he walks is the first sign of a bad Dominant (or just a wannabe).

“…He calls me pet and I do mostly everything he asks of me. But he will ignore my texts and go and do drugs and get drunk with friends. It’s not that I want to stop him from having fun but it’s the fact that he has told me he will sleep with whomever he wants whenever he wants but he wants me to be his and his only unless he says otherwise.”

Ignoring you is a sign of disrespect. Doing drugs and getting drunk is a sign he doesn’t have control over himself. What a person puts in their body is their own business, but please don’t ever let him get kinky or have a scene with you while he’s under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

If the two of you discussed multiple partners and you agreed to be monogamous with him at the beginning of your relationship while also agreeing that he could have different partners, this might be okay – until the moment you’re no longer comfortable with it. But because you’re mentioning it in your question, I’m guessing that didn’t happen. This is yet another sign of a Dominant who thinks you’re there for his pleasure and he can do what he wants. No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

“…He will do things against my wishes and at times messes with my head…”

This is a huge problem. A mind-fuck as part of a negotiated scene or kinky fun is one thing – especially if he’s a sadist, and you’re a masochist. Going against what you want and messing with your head sounds like possible abuse, and at the very least isn’t what good Dominants do.

You deserve to be with someone who cares about you as a person first, and a submissive second. You deserve someone who wants to help you grow as a person and submissive, who wants to both take their pleasure and give you pleasure. You deserve a partner, not a power-hungry person calling himself a Dominant.

Every single part of your question is a red flag.

This isn’t about coping within this relationship. It’s about removing yourself from it. You may never completely have him out of your life because of the baby, but if he’s threatening to leave, let him. Help him out the door. Or run as far away from him as you can.

This is about more than your position as a submissive, this is about your well-being as a person.

If he becomes violent or threatens you in any way, please get help:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on February 03, 2016 07:00

Book Review: BDSM Mastery-Relationships by Robert Rubel and M. Jen Fairfield

I have wanted to read something by Dr. Robert Rubel for some time now. I have heard from various sources around the internet, especially after hearing his interview on Dan and dawn’s Erotic Awakening podcast and then reading lunaKM’s book review of BDSM Mastery-Your Guide to Play, Parties, and Scene Protocols. So, I picked up a copy of BDSM Mastery-A Guide for Creating Mindful Relationships for Dominants and Submissives. This is the second book in Rubel’s and Fairfield’s BDSM Mastery series. Like the first book in this series, this book is for those individuals who are beginning in the lifestyle. While this book is geared towards those who are new, anyone who is involved in the lifestyle can take something away from this book.

The authors cover a lot of really great and useful information in this book. While the main focus of the book is about relationships, in the first chapter, the authors talk about topics such as protecting your reputation, open-mindedness, how to explore the world of D/s safely, and most importantly, explaining that what one may see going on at a play party or much isn’t always going to be what you may think you’re seeing.

In the following chapters, this is when the topic of relationships begin. There are a lot of lists throughout the rest of the book, but they are some really awesome lists that cover vetting a future partner, thinking about what you’re looking for in a partner, the type of relationship you’re looking for, what a good partner looks like, red flag behaviors, and one of my personal favorites, a list for self-examination.

The authors also talk about new relationship energy and the importance of taking things slow in the beginning, roles within the relationship, specific characteristics that are in a D/s and M/s based relationships, sadist and masochist relationships, as well as a little bit about polyamorous relationships.

In the last two chapters of the books, he speaks about negotiations, contracts, and collars-all very important things that take place in a BDSM relationship as well as expanding on some key concepts that has been mentioned in previous chapters. At the end of the book, there are some fantastic resources that I highly suggest every reader checks out. Also through the book you will find quotes from well-respected educators and authors from within the BDSM community and these do add so much to the book.

While I was reading, I found myself highlighting and making notes from so many of the passages. There is so much pertinent information in this book that I highly suggest not skipping over any of the chapters. If you skip a chapter, there’s a lot you will be missing. After reading this book, I am really looking forward to reading more of Rubel’s work in the future.

You can purchase a copy of BDSM Mastery-Relationships: A Guide for Creating Mindful Relationships for Dominants and Submissives both in paperback and ebook form on Amazon.

Book Information:

Tequila R’s Rating: 10/10

Paperback: 186 Pages

Publisher: BDSM(December 31,2014)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0986352128

lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections

Hi folks,

I spent this week in between headaches and sinus issues, and hoping that I wouldn’t catch KnyghtMare’s horrible sinus infection that he’s had for weeks now. So far, so good, but only time will tell. And a little joy in my life, my 14 year old cat, Maximus is up playing and being frisky. For those that don’t know, he has Chronic Kidney Disease that, if age doesn’t take him, CKD will. So he’s been more of a sleeping kitty for a long time. To see him up and playing and snuggly is a joy and a wonder to see. I hope it lasts awhile.

This Friday is the start of the Subguide Book Club Event! We’ll be reading Enough to Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation by Princess Kali. Crack it open and start reading! Ms Kali has promised to be there in the comments if you want to ask her questions about the book and its topic too!

Are you a Fan of Submissive Guide? Join the Ranks!
If you love what Submissive Guide provides, the site has helped you in some way or you just feel that you want to support a positive influence in the BDSM and D/s communities you can now become a fan of Submissive Guide through Patreon.com! For as little as $1 US a monthyou can show your support and help me reach goals to bring this site into the next level of service and content creation. In return you’ll get perks and rewards like discount codes for ebooks, freebies and one on one time with me!Check out my page on Patreon.com and become a fan of Submissive Guide!

Now for the week in review:
This Week on Submissive Guide

This section highlights the articles posted this week on Submissive Guide and other updates to the blog, if any.

Your Label – Submissive Meditation Monday
Alcohol and Kink Don’t Mix by Kayla Lords
Simply Service e-Zine: January 2005
[Video Post] Improving Your Submission – Your Support System

If you’d like to stay up to date with articles on Submissive Guide, please subscribe to the feed.

Ask Submissive Guide Advice Column

The advice column where I try my best to help you with your questions and personal situation challenges.

Ask Submissive Guide: Narcissistic Dominants by Mrs Darling

Dear Submissive Guide, Are most dominant men narcissistic as well?

Ask your question, anonymously, to get a chance for me to answer your question on the site.

This Week’s Discussion on Submissive Guide’s FetLife Group

Come join in the discussions on FetLife where you can find other readers and followers of Submissive Guide. Discussions hosted by MRs. Darling and myself.

Re-Entering the Lifestyle

Today’s question comes as a special request by somebody very dear to me:

Has anybody every taken a hiatus from the lifestyle and decided after some time to rejoin? What would you miss most about BDSM if you suddenly “went vanilla?” How can somebody ease back into submission, either with or without a partner?

Have you ever re-entered the lifestyle?

Thanks in advance for all of the good words and advice!

Join the FetLife group for more support and conversation.

Dug Out from the Archives

Let’s dig into the archives and reconsider some of the older articles on Submissive Guide that you may have missed.

In 2015: Book Review: 62Q: Sixty-Two Questions for Your Dominant by Michael Makai by tequilarose
In 2014: Book Review: Brie Embraces the Heart of Submission: After Graduation by tequilarose
In 2013: What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene
In 2012: Book Review: Living M/s
In 2011: Review: Conquer Me

Browse the categories to see what else is on the site.

Recent Journal Prompts

Submissive Journal Prompts is a thinking prompt and quote site that can help you with topics for your journal or your own thinking.

“I do not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death, your right to say it.” Voltaire
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince
Do you identify as submissive or slave or something entirely different? What is your definition for that identity?
Do you ever have submissive immersion where you have times that your role is more pronounced and you do things very structured and organized?
Subscribe to Submissive Journal Prompts to get them as they are released!

Featured Podcast of the Week – The Fearless Submissive

TFS- Episode 68

30 Jan 2016, 12:17am GMT

→ The Fearless Submissive

julieR’s thoughts on balancing your life and self care.

MP3 audio (30MB, 33min)

Podcast RSS

iTunes subscribe

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on January 31, 2016 07:00

[Video Post] Improving Your Submission – Your Support System

Welcome back to another post in the video series about improving your submission through setting goals and achieving personal milestones. We’ve covered how to make goals and if you’ve followed along you should be well on your way with your goals. How have your personal accountability meetings gone? Have you learned from your setbacks?

In this post I want to talk about your support system. A lot of the goals we set for ourselves can be reached without outside support, but others work so much better when we have people cheering us on, keeping us accountable and just being there when frustration comes up. Establishing a support system is in your best interest.

But how do you do that when some of the things you want to improve are submission-specific? You don’t want to tell your friends that you are working on your kneeling so you can do it longer, right? Well there are tricks you can employ if you don’t have kink-based friends and I’ll help you out with those ideas, in this post too.

But first things first; your kink-related support system.

Your Partner

After yourself, your partner is you best source of support, especially if the improvements you want to make will make your submission more unique, special and personal to the two of you. It always feels good to have a cheerleader that can keep you motivated and sees even the small progress as success. If you can talk to your partner about being your accountability partner, and what that will mean to you, then you are on your way to positive results. For those of us that don’t have partners yet, you have other choices though, so don’t despair.

Your Kink Friends

The friends you have that are in the know about your chosen lifestyle are a great choice for support. Friends are always there with unbiased opinions and a clear vision for you and your positive change. Becoming active in the local community will help you build your friend base and once you have friends you can rely on it makes a lot of things easier. Some of them may have already reached a similar goal and can help you get there through mentoring, advice and a more personal approach.

The Community

The BDSM community often has a main focus of education, teaching safe practices and supporting the people in the community. If any of your goals are to be more active in the community, overcome your shyness or get some experience in a specific activity then get to a munch group. The leaders of these groups can help you find the assistance you are looking for and will often know or can point you in the direction of safe players, more information, books and other resources as well as regional or national events that might bring you closer to your goals. And you could find a friend or two as well!

Vanilla Support

Now, on to the vanilla friends and family; how you can use them to help you with your goals. That’s right, they can help you too if you let them. Of course they are probably not the first choice for goals that would be related to sex or BDSM or overt submissive behaviors, but if your goals are more neutral like getting more exercise, setting a regular sleep schedule, learning and keeping a budget and more they can help you improve yourself without knowing it’s true purpose is to make you a better submissive person.

YOU!

Don’t discount yourself either. If you can’t find ways to stay motivated and keep on track then the largest support group in the world isn’t going to be able to help you reach your goals. So, keep that accountability journal and make those meetings with yourself that we’ve talked about before. Earn those rewards and learn from your slips. It’s going to take time but what do you have but time. Use it well and you can reach you goals over and over again.

How else can you find support to reach your goals and improve your submission? Let me know in the comments!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on January 29, 2016 07:00

Simply Service e-Zine: January 2005

One of the hidden jewels on this site is an e-Zine that ran on Yahoo Groups back when I first started exploring submission. It has since stopped production but the articles it contained are still valuable and worth a read so I thought I ‘d bring them back to the forefront. They’ve been archived here with the editor’s permission since the site was first created but I don’t think many of you know just how wonderful they are. I’d like to showcase one each month until we’ve run them all again.

From the newsletter’s description;

Current contributors are all slave or submissive identified, and in real time relationships where obedience and service are necessary, valued skills, achieved over time. I have been fortunate enough to meet these lovely people all over the country, and have delighted in great conversations, where we sometimes agree, and sometimes disagree, but are bound by a mutual respect of each other’s choices. Occasionally, words from the “other side” might be included as well, as many perspectives will be represented.

So here it is, the inaugural edition of Simply Service, produced by Bootpig all the way back in 2005.

Contents
Welcome from Linda ‘Bootpig’ Hall
Catherine Gross. Servants Retreat 2005
How does your service rank? Using the hospitality industry as a reference.
Obedience. A slave examines the development of obedience.
The Basics of Resistance Management
The differences between submissives and slaves. Is one deeper than the other or are they just different??
Master/slave is not another form of marriage
Beginning to serve tea

January 2005

Download Now!

You will need a PDF reader to view the newsletter and you can get it for free from Adobe.com.

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on January 28, 2016 07:00

Ask Submissive Guide: Narcissistic Dominants

Thank you Mrs. Darling for tackling this question!

Dear Submissive Guide, Are most dominant men narcissistic as well?

As a wife and submissive to a Dominant sadist (one who is very *ahem* demanding) this question certainly made me titter when I first read it. The more I turned it over in my mind though, the more I saw this as a troublesome question in the vein of, “Are most submissive women doormats?”

(Note: I will continue this discussion in the Male/female pronouns as it was presented; feel free to adjust to your own pronoun preferences.)

The short answer is, of course, no. I don’t think “most” dominant men are anything except for one simple characteristic: they consider themselves dominant.

With as many styles of leading a D/s dynamic, there are just as many unique traits of dominants. Some dominants, like mine, sit back and silently take in a room, allowing the submissive to be the social butterfly and keep up conversations and calendars with others. Outgoing and loud does not equal dominant, just like reserved and quiet does not equal submissive. It is whatever works for you as a person, and then whatever works for a relationship. I would drive many dominants crazy with my bold personality. Yet my husband would be so bored with anything else.

Now onto the longer answer, which is why this would even be a question that at first glance makes total sense.

A quick Google search into narcissistic personality traits comes back with some that apply to common stereotypical dominant traits: things his way or the highway, punishing behavior when things aren’t going well, world revolves around him, “do as I say”, big ego, enjoys admiration, believes they are superior to others.

Again, a big walking stereotype version of a dominant man.

Most I have encountered couldn’t be more different. Sure they like things their way, but it is not because there is any superiority on their part. It is simply because they have a submissive who likes to follow, and as a dominant they are comfortable leading in a direction that will be good for everybody involved.

Punishment dynamics do exist, but in a healthy D/s dynamic the punishment fits the crime, is explained why it is being done, and serves as a learning tool. The submissive has consented to a punishment dynamic and has the word available to end it. Narcissists will emotionally abuse by means of making their partner a scapegoat and using the silent treatment. There is no explanation for the punishment, no consent, no way to turn it off, and no lesson to be learned. I believe “big ego” in dominants is often simply self-confidence misunderstood. While dominants may enjoy some type of attention and admiration from their submissive, it is power exchange. In a healthy exchange, the submissive is also receiving attention and admiration for what they do as well.

At the end of the day, narcissism is a personality disorder and a serious one at that. Just like somebody saying they are “oh my God, soooo OCD” because they like their bookcase orderly trivializes people diagnosed and struggling with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, not every person who thinks highly of themselves are narcissistic.

If you encounter dominants who have personality traits that don’t mesh with your preference, simply wish them well and continue your search.

Hope this is helpful!

Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on January 27, 2016 07:00

Alcohol and Kink Don’t Mix

Okay, so here I go again stepping into what may be a heated topic for many people, but I’m going to say it anyway.

Kink and alcohol (or drug use) don’t mix.

Now, let me clarify what I mean.

If you drink or smoke pot or do something else, more power to you. Me? I prefer a Jack and Coke or a margarita on the rocks (no salt). And I’m not into smoking anything, personally, but I don’t care much if other people do it.

But just like I won’t get in a car with someone who’s had too much to drink, I’m definitely not letting someone who’s intoxicated come at me with a flogger or tie me up, either.

For those who wonder what the big deal is, I’ll explain.

Judgment, Reflexes, and Decision-Making

In the United States, we have very specific legal blood alcohol limits that, if you drink enough to go over those limits, you can’t legally operate a car. Why? Because your judgment is impaired, your reflexes slow down, and you’re not able to make split-second decisions that you need to in order to safely drive a car.

When I get kinky with someone and let them spank me, tie me up, or do something to me where I’ve given up control, I need to trust that they are fully present in the moment and nothing impairs their judgement. Someone who’s had too much to drink or gotten high may not be able to respond to my safeword or judge the tightness of a knot or even realize they’re hitting too hard or in the wrong spot. On the other hand, if I’ve had too much to drink, I may not be able to give my safeword if things get too rough or painful.

Legal Consent

Let’s flip the coin. Maybe a Dominant isn’t the only one who’s had too much. Submissives can get drunk too. Well, now we have a different problem. It is possible to be too drunk to legally consent. Someone who is clearly intoxicated, unable to think clearly, speak well, or basically acts drunk (or high) is probably too drunk to give clear and obvious consent to play or sex.

If you play with someone who’s really drunk, and they cry foul the next day – which they may because in their drunken state they could have been confused or believed the scene was part of a dream – you’ll be the one who’s responsible, not them. Consent is such a key element of BDSM and kink, you should never put yourself in a position to wonder whether you really had consent or not – or as a submissive, to wonder if you really consented to what happened.

If you’re going to drink or get high, have at it and be safe when you do. But if you know you’re going to do a scene or get kinky later, ease off before you have too many or save the drinking for another night. Don’t put the safety of you or your partner at risk just for a few drinks. It’s not worth it.

Image via Kozzi.com

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on January 26, 2016 07:00

Your Label – Submissive Meditation Monday

I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me.

I want you to take a few minutes right now and write down the labels you use to define yourself in the lifestyle. Look at each of them carefully. Understanding that you can be any labels you wish to, we’re going to try to understand why these labels are the ones we desire. There are far more labels than those here so use and reflect on the labels that work for you.

Common definitions of Submissive Roles

A submissive is a person who submits or potentially submits to another, taking on the submissive role for the duration of a scene or is a submissive partner within a power exchange relationship. They are not necessarily submissive generally.

A slave has usually given the right for their owner to exercise authority over them in some sense, within a relationship that may extend to a full time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Connotatively it refers to a person who has surrendered their personal property and freedoms and become the property or chattel of their owner or Master. Strictly speaking, to be a slave, one must be owned but many people searching for an owner will call themselves “slave” as an indication of the position they are hoping to eventually have.

A bottom is a partner who takes the role of receiver in such acts as bondage, discipline, sadomasochism or humiliation in BDSM scenes or interactions. A ‘Top’ performs acts such as these upon the bottom.

A human pet is simply being a pet without including any specifically animal traits. So no barking or meowing, no ears or tails, treats that are human treats rather than animal treats. Animal pets are trained in the behaviors their Owner wants them to have. They often are taught tricks, have toys, typically a bed or small pet house and are punished if they misbehave.

A “bratty” submissive has a reputation for talking back, being disrespectful or mildly disobedient. On the surface, this is a negative quality in a submissive; however, a certain amount of “brattiness” is enjoyed by some Dominants, and may in fact be a large component of a power exchange relationship.

How well do they fit you?
Why did you choose them?
What have you read about the labels you use that don’t sit well with you?
Is there controversy over your chosen labels?
What have you resolved about those controversies?
Related Posts:
Embracing Your Label – Submissive Meditation Monday
BDSM Basics: Am I Dominant or submissive?
Labels – Yet Another “L” Word
Igniting Sexual Desire – Submissive Mediation Monday
Overcoming a Limit (A Reflection)

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on January 25, 2016 07:00

lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections

Hi folks,

This week I decided to really knuckle down and organize, I think after last week’s inspiration of bullet journaling I’m going to try to implement more organization and productivity with Subguide work I do as well. Right now it feels all mish-mash and disorganized. How do you stay organized? What are your tips for a stress-free productive day?

I hope everyone impacted by the massive storm is safe! Stay warm!

Are you a Fan of Submissive Guide? Join the Ranks!
If you love what Submissive Guide provides, the site has helped you in some way or you just feel that you want to support a positive influence in the BDSM and D/s communities you can now become a fan of Submissive Guide through Patreon.com! For as little as $1 US a monthyou can show your support and help me reach goals to bring this site into the next level of service and content creation. In return you’ll get perks and rewards like discount codes for ebooks, freebies and one on one time with me!

Check out my page on Patreon.com and become a fan of Submissive Guide!

Now for the week in review:
This Week on Submissive Guide

This section highlights the articles posted this week on Submissive Guide and other updates to the blog, if any.

Enough to Make You Blush: SubGuide Book Club Begins Friday February 5th!
Power Exchange While in Recovery by Mrs. Darling
Busyness, Why Do We Think It Adds Value? by charmed blyss
Become a Patron: How Your Pledge Can Bring Big Change to Submissive Guide

If you’d like to stay up to date with articles on Submissive Guide, please subscribe to the feed.

Ask Submissive Guide Advice Column

The advice column where I try my best to help you with your questions and personal situation challenges.

Ask Submissive Guide – Needing permission to go out with family by Kayla Lords

I am not sure if this topic has been covered before, but I couldn’t find much info on it. I was hoping you could share some advice on balancing a d/s relationship and family. To be more specific, I’d like to know how to handle instances such as a family member wanting to do something with you, yet your dominant does not want you to go. Permission to go out is part of our d/s relationship. Nevertheless, my family is equally important to me, and I want to make them happy too.

Ask your question, anonymously, to get a chance for me to answer your question on the site.

This Week’s Discussion on Submissive Guide’s FetLife Group

Come join in the discussions on FetLife where you can find other readers and followers of Submissive Guide. Discussions hosted by MRs. Darling and myself.

Polyamory and Power Exchange

What unique complications can arise from mixing polyamory and power exchange? Do you have any stories or tips for other polyamorous submissives?

Join the FetLife group for more support and conversation.

Dug Out from the Archives

Let’s dig into the archives and reconsider some of the older articles on Submissive Guide that you may have missed.

In 2015: No Stupid (Sex Toy) Questions: Episode 2 – Butt Stretching by Rayne Millaray
In 2014: Road Trip: Taking your D/s Relationship to Fantastic Las Vegas! by pinksubgeek
In 2013: [Video Post] Ask lunaKM – What to do when your Dominant drops
In 2012: Keeping It Fresh – How to Spice Up Your Kinky Life
In 2011: Cooking for Master by nan{SL}

Browse the categories to see what else is on the site.

Recent Journal Prompts

Submissive Journal Prompts is a thinking prompt and quote site that can help you with topics for your journal or your own thinking.

“For me, D/s is a graded endeavor. There are definitive levels of achievement. There is an unacceptable level of performance. Effort is not enough to make the grade.” – Sir C
When do you feel the most at peace with your position?
What is your favorite thing about the person you serve?
Subscribe to Submissive Journal Prompts to get them as they are released!

Featured Podcast of the Week – The Big Little Podcast

Episode 115 ? Little Lady Sam Personal Interview

17 Jan 2016, 5:52pm GMT

→ The Big Little Podcast

Description: We’re pretty sure that one of the things Sam never every thought she would do is to be on a podcast about age play. Because she has a habit of doing things she thinks she’d never do, she joined us for a fun personal interview. Listen and maybe you’ll be adopting that same habit. […]

MP3 audio (59MB, 86min)

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Published on January 24, 2016 10:00