Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 2

Is having strong opinions a bad trait in a submissive?

One of the hardest things for me to learn is that TRAITS, such as personality traits, physical characteristics, and preferences in ideal dynamics, are not inherently good or bad, Dominant or submissive, right or wrong. Why is this true? Because there are just as many ways of doing WIITWD (what it is that we do) […]

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How do you bring up wanting to escalate your relationship with your current play partner into a full dynamic?

Question: How do you bring up wanting to escalate your relationship with your current play partner into a full dynamic? We have both expressed interest, but no concrete discussion has taken place. Answer: This is such a great question, because many of us find ourselves here at some point. Play partners can be wonderful, but […]

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Ask Subguide – How do you bring up wanting to escalate your relationship with your current play partner into a full dynamic?

Question: How do you bring up wanting to escalate your relationship with your current play partner into a full dynamic? We have both expressed interest, but no concrete discussion has taken place. Answer: This is such a great question, because many of us find ourselves here at some point. Play partners can be wonderful, but […]

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Why is it called serving a Dominant?

Question: Why is it called serving a Dominant? I don’t like that kind of phrasing and insinuation that I am somehow below the Dominant. Answer: It’s completely understandable that the word “serve” can rub you the wrong way. In everyday life, “service” often gets tangled up with ideas of being lesser, having lower status, or […]

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Ask Subguide – Why is it called serving a Dominant?

Question: Why is it called serving a Dominant? I don’t like that kind of phrasing and insinuation that I am somehow below the Dominant. Answer: It’s completely understandable that the word “serve” can rub you the wrong way. In everyday life, “service” often gets tangled up with ideas of being lesser, having lower status, or […]

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How Rules In a D/s Relationship Can Have a Positive Effect on Your Submission

Rules in a D/s relationship can be more than boundaries—they can be powerful tools for connection, growth, and maintaining the submissive mindset. In this article, I share how rules shape my submission, the emotional value they hold, and practical strategies any submissive can use to follow them with consistency and purpose.

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Is it fair for a Dom to not let a sub talk to other men, but have multiple subs himself?

The original question comes from a male Dominant/female submissive context, and the response reflects that framing. That said, the topic is relevant to D/s dynamics of all kinds, regardless of gender. “Fair” is such a complicated concept. “Fair” seems like a measurable emotion, like something to feel- a pea underneath the mattress where you know […]

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Writing Submissive Affirmations That Actually Work

Discover how to write affirmations that truly work for submissives. Learn to replace negative self-talk with empowering beliefs, strengthen your submissive mindset, and integrate affirmations into daily life. This guide offers practical steps, examples, and insight to help you grow into the submissive you aspire to be.

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How long should I talk with a Dom online before a face to face date?

Question: How long should I communicate with a potential dom on an online dating app? I’ve been speaking to this dom for a week, and he hasn’t initiated any coffee or drink meet-up yet. We are supposed to explore this dynamic in real life. Answer: There’s no hard rule for how long to chat before […]

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I don’t like the second sub my partner is considering, how can I tell them without losing my relationship with them?

Question: How would you express changes in your feelings over poly to your Master, when the second sub he is considering you do not like her, without losing your relationship with him? Answer: When we’re in a power exchange relationship, especially a poly one, expressing hard feelings can feel like walking a tightrope.  What if […]

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