Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 4

Do you have tips to navigate play for subs who have depression/low self-esteem?

We know submission can be powerful, affirming, and deeply validating—but when you’re carrying the weight of depression or low self-worth, that same vulnerability can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone in this. If you’re not seeing a professional to help improve your mental health, you can find a list of kink-aware therapists at kapprofessionals.org. Navigating play […]

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Any ideas for Anticipatory Service (I’d like to do more without their asking me)?

Question: I want to do more for my Dom in terms of serving without him asking me. Do you have any ideas? Answer: That’s a wonderful instinct, and it speaks volumes about your desire to deepen your submission and connection. Serving without being asked is often called anticipatory service—and it’s all about tuning into your […]

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How to Share Feedback as a Submissive: Respectful and Honest Communication with Your Dominant

Struggling to speak up when something feels off in your dynamic? This article offers real talk and practical tips for submissives who want to give feedback to their Dominant without stepping out of their role.

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Am I obligated to answer questions about what humiliates me if it embarrasses me?

Question: Last week, in the introductory phase, I had a Domme ask me what humiliates me.  I hesitated to tell her because it also embarrassed me.  Hope that makes sense.   I ended up telling her, but it was very uncomfortable.    What are your thoughts on this question, and am I obligated to answer this? […]

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What are your favorite BDSM-related podcasts?

With so many great BDSM-related podcasts out there, it’s easier than ever to learn, grow, and feel connected to the community. Whether you’re looking for educational deep dives, personal stories, or just good conversations about kink, there’s something for everyone. Here are a few of the podcasts I’m currently listening to: Erotic Awakening Podcast is […]

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When Submissives Go Wild: Sub Frenzy

Originally published 4/3/2009, updated and expanded 4/22/2025 Submissive Frenzy, often simply referred to as “sub frenzy,” is a psychological state of overwhelming desire and need that can arise at any point in a submissive’s journey. While it is most commonly associated with those new to submission and BDSM, seasoned submissives are not immune. It may […]

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How Can I Stay Submissive While Running the Home?

Question:  My husband and I are in a D/s relationship. However, I’m the one who runs the house, takes care of the kids, and is always the one “in charge.” How can he and I maintain our dynamic? How do I stay in touch with my submissive side? Answer: Being the one who manages the […]

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Solo-Coaching: Nurture a Positive Point of View

Cultivating a positive mindset is essential for every submissive’s journey. Learn how to reframe negative thoughts, practice self-care, and embrace self-compassion to strengthen your submission and personal growth. Discover practical tools to shift your perspective and build confidence in yourself and your dynamic.

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Any tips for D/s dynamic with kids at home?

It is really easy to understand managing vanilla relationships around others (including kids living at home). It boils down to understanding one crucial concept: discretion.  Discretion: the quality of behaving or speaking in a way to avoid causing offence or (IMPORTANTLY) revealing confidential information.  We can mostly agree that kissing your spouse “bye” in front […]

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How do you know if I’ll enjoy submission if I’ve only been exposed through erotic novels?

Question: I’ve been a voracious reader of BDSM and D/S erotic novels for years and am not sure if I enjoy it just as entertainment or because I feel like something might be missing from my life.  How do you know if you are a submissive, and if you think you might be, how do […]

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