Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 5

Is it ever okay to say no to your Dominant?

Question: Is there ever a time when it’s ok to tell your Dominant no when he tells you to do something? Answer: Absolutely. While submission involves obedience and trust, it doesn’t mean blind compliance. There are several situations where saying “no” is not only acceptable but necessary: A healthy D/s dynamic is built on mutual […]

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What to Do When a BDSM Scene Goes Wrong: Important Advice for Submissives

When a BDSM scene goes wrong, knowing how to respond can make all the difference. This guide for submissives explores common issues like ignored safewords, emotional triggers, injuries, and consent violations—plus practical steps to recover, protect yourself, and build resilience for future play. Stay safe, informed, and empowered in your BDSM journey.

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What kinds of punishments and rewards would you implement into a personal protocol as a single submissive?

Full Question: During my research on Submissive Guide, I’ve learned about personal protocol. I don’t have a dom currently and am looking to understand more about punishments and rewards for personal protocol. What kinds of punishments and rewards do you implement into your personal protocol, or would you recommend for a sub without a dom?  […]

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Should the non-kinky person make an effort to accommodate the kinky person’s needs and wants even if they are not interested?

Short answer: no. And the kinky person shouldn’t expect you to.  In any healthy relationship, whether kinky or not, communication, respect, and mutual understanding are key. If one partner has specific needs or desires, the other person needs to be open to listening and discussing them, even if they don’t share those interests. However, this […]

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Be a Cow! My Journey into Hucow Play

Curious about hucow play in BDSM? Discover a personal journey into embracing a playful, sensual cow identity. Learn how to explore your own hucow persona, build a unique "cow-tfit," create immersive scenes, and connect with a welcoming community. Perfect for beginners ready to moo-ve into this fun and empowering kink!

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Can Two Submissives Have a Relationship?

Full Question: Can two BDSM submissives have a regular vanilla relationship? What happens as the couple grows closer, and one person wants the other to change to a Top/Dom? Answer: Let’s start by saying there is no “normal relationship.” Can two submissives have a successful vanilla relationship together? The answer is “yes, two people can […]

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How Do I Reconnect with My Submission When I Feel Disconnected?

Full Question: I’ve been with Master for almost 9 months, and although I love our relationship, I feel there is a disconnect with my submission. Recently, I’ve been acting out and just messing up. It’s not all a conscious decision; I just do some of it without thought or plan. I don’t know how to […]

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Can you have different tolerances to pain over time?

Full Question: I’ve identified as a masochist for a fair bit now, but I have recently discovered that I can’t handle as much as I used to. I’m just wondering, can someone who once enjoyed pain not enjoy it as much anymore?  Answer: It’s absolutely possible for a masochist’s tolerance or preference for pain to […]

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How do I find a bedroom-only Dominant?

Full Question: I want to be submissive sexually but equal in day-to-day life. How to find a partner? Answer: The term you’re likely going to be using more readily while you search for a partner is “bedroom-only” submissive. And your partner would then be a “bedroom-only” Dominant. This type of relationship is more common than […]

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Advice for Newly Discovered Submission in a Committed Relationship

Full Question: Do you have any advice for someone already in a committed relationship (marriage, for example) who discovers that she is submissive or at least has submissive tendencies? Until this discovery, the sex was mostly vanilla with very light choking play occasionally (so my partner MIGHT have some interest). Answer: I have lived this […]

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