Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 3

How to Reach and Maintain the Submissive Mindset in BDSM

Getting into the submissive mindset can feel like chasing a moving target—blissful one moment, elusive the next. This article explores what the submissive mindset truly is, how to access it more consistently, and practical ways to sustain that feeling without burning out. Whether you crave a 24/7 headspace or just want to reconnect more often, this guide offers realistic advice, personal insight, and tools to help you find your way back to submission when you need it most.

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I want to be sexually submissive, but equal in day-to-day life. How to find a partner?

This may be easier than you think, dear s-type!  It is important to remember that finding the right Dominant or Top through dating or shopping around can sometimes feel challenging. I liken the vanilla dating pool to a bowl of cereal. Lots of individual options floating around. Now take a spoonful out and in there- […]

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Can you be a blend of different submissives?

Absolutely—yes. And honestly, most people are. It’s easy to think we have to choose just one kind of submissive to be: service sub, brat, pet, slave, babygirl, rope bunny. The list of labels goes on, and while those identities can help us understand ourselves and communicate with partners, they’re not rigid boxes we have to […]

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What should I be thinking about when learning about punishment?

Question: I am just starting out on my sub journey. I know very little. That being said, I have learnt loads in the last few weeks. I have met a Dom, and we’ve been chatting, etc., and he’s been amazing answering all my questions. He is a sadist.  We’ve just touched on punishment and he […]

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Start Here: Don’t Begin Exploring BDSM Until You’ve Read the Basics

New to BDSM? Start here. This beginner’s guide introduces you to the basics of kink, from roles and terminology to safety, consent, and finding your place in the lifestyle. Whether you're curious, cautious, or just starting out, this guide will help you take your first steps with confidence.

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What are the different types of Dominants?

Question: Can you please do a post naming the different types of Dominants? There are so many different types, so there’s a great deal of curiosity. Answer: It is important to break this down into each side of the slash, so here are the general descriptions for some of the more common Dominant types. (Disclaimer: […]

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Should you have boundaries with your Dominant, besides safe words?

Yes—absolutely, 100%, without a doubt—you need boundaries. With your Dominant. With your friends. With everyone you have a relationship with. A common misconception in BDSM is that safewords replace the need for boundaries. But the truth is, boundaries and safewords serve very different purposes, and both are necessary. Boundaries are personal. They’re your internal compass—what […]

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What is a princess submissive?

The “princess submissive” is a unique archetype in the D/s world—graceful, playful, and full of charm. She (or they) brings a sense of elegance and fantasy into submission, blending soft vulnerability with a desire for attention, care, and adoration. A princess submissive isn’t just about being spoiled. It’s about being cherished. These subs thrive on […]

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Solo Coaching: Embracing Your Shadow Side: A Submissive’s Journey to Self-Acceptance

What if the parts of yourself you try to hide are the exact keys to deeper, more authentic submission? In this article, we explore your shadow side—the emotions, traits, and desires you’ve labeled as “bad”—and how bringing them into the light can lead to personal growth, stronger D/s dynamics, and greater self-acceptance. You’ll also learn practical tools like journaling, self-reflection, and the Johari Window to guide you on this powerful journey of integration and healing.

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What are the different types of submissives?

I think it is important to break this down into each side of the slash, so here are the general descriptions for some of the more common s-types. (Disclaimer: there is no one right answer/definition, this is based on generalized experience; labels should always be the START of a discussion, not the end of one. […]

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