Pat Hatt's Blog, page 23

Big Big Big Dances A Jig!

That is a lot of bigs at play. I guess they just have something big to say. Or maybe they have an ego problem that needs to get looked at. Don't ask me, I'm not a shrink cat.

Today it's new.
A Tuesday too.
I've never seen that before.
Nope, never ever at our shore.

Wednesday and Friday, yep.
At least one has pep.
But not Tuesday.
Never ever. No way.

Do I protest too much?
Maybe just a touch.
But I tried to channel you.
I want it to be oh so new.

I guess reality kicked in.
Does it take longer for humans as they spin?
Maybe they just have nothing in their head.
Would that make them undead?

Can you answer that with nothing up there?
Oh, big big big questions at my lair.
You may be overloaded on the first day.
Are you a baby at your bay?

No? Then does it count?
Isn't it another in the long amount?
Do you hate mathematical stuff?
Is that why getting rid of new is tough?

Oh, but big big big wants to play.
Damn, like herpes it never goes away.
Hey, maybe they'll cure it one day.
Then you can go out to play.

That would be big big big news.
But the first would get the blues.
Can't figure out why?
Geez, you humans aren't very spry.

For it won't, probably, most likely, next to never, happen on this day.
Nope, no magic will come to play.
Damn, I ruined it two days in a row.
I'm such a downer at my show.

But then up or down,
It shall come to town.
This day or that day.
Big big big won't magically come to play.

Do you think your life changed today? Wowee, you are so special at your bay. I want to shake your germy hand. Yeah, if you believe that, I have this parcel of land. I swear it is big big big. You'll buy it and dance a jig. Big changes never come when you least expect them or you make the change or you put effort in. Nope, they come from giving a Tuesday a spin. Damn, I mean the number 1. Wait. Is that why so much whining is done? Do you revert back to a newborn mass? Wow, world issue solved by my not so magical, unless you count the gas, little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Magic Number While You Slumber!

The time will magically change tonight. That will make everything all right. Yep, it surely will. Go to bed and dream of your next thrill. Oh, was that a pill? Damn, you had to pay another bill.

2018 is nearly through.
Did a good year come due?
Did it rather suck?
Ready to pass the buck?

2019 is nearly new.
Did a good year come due?
Did it rather suck?
Ready to pass the buck.

A repeat rhyme.
Done for a time.
Done for a point.
As always at my joint.

Or maybe not all the time.
But hey, went with the rhyme.
But still got a point.
Magic shall soon anoint.

There you go.
Poof, a rhyme show.
It was magically done.
And what have you won?

The exact same crap.
Sorry there, chap.
18 or 19 or 55,
All the same kinda dive.

You won't magically be better.
You won't magically get some winning letter.
You won't magically have a better year.
You won't magically find cheer.

It could even be worse.
You may even curse.
Not like a curse though,
For they are bs, you know.

Just like your magic.
My, how tragic.
Things can't magically be.
Hold on....I had to pee.

Now I'm back.
Magic I lack.
I had to let it flow.
Oh look, a new low.

Did the cat spoil your mood? The cat loves to give the magic day attitude. For humans are rather pathetic as can be. Yeah, things will magically change because a new number came to view for thee. And I have a bridge to sell you too. It comes with its own loo. Get it while supplies last. It will magically get there fast. Nothing will change unless you want it done and no magic day will make it be spun. Yep, you'll even still have to mow the grass. Not sorry to say, from my not so magical little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Guiding Light Takes Flight!

The cat will guide you today. It will be easy as can be at our bay. I'll guide you right to that spot. That spot that is hard to be caught. It just must be done. So begins the fun.

The cat is here.
Look and peer.
I'm straight ahead.
Use the eyes in your head.

See the words?
Forget the birds.
See what I typed?
Nothing was Skyped.

Now move one down.
Don't go to crazy town.
Rubber rooms have no internet.
At least that is a safe bet.

Don't quote me on that though.
I can't say I really know.
You just lost your right to sue.
It's not my fault you haven't a clue.

Now continue down the line.
Read the words of the feline.
Use your brain and eyes.
DO NOT look to the skies.

Look straight ahead.
Ten will be said.
That's ten times four.
We are half way over the tour.

Now read the send off below.
It is something you know.
It always comes to pass.
It involves a rhyming ass.

Oh, don't get alarmed.
No donkeys were harmed.
Wrong type of ass.
They eat the grass.

Then click the box.
No need to wear socks.
Click it and type.
Lay it on thick with comment hype.

Tell how the guide did.
Did it have your bid?
Did you learn everything needed?
Oh, and make sure post is deeded.

Now wasn't that grand? You got a guide to use my land. Don't you love such things? Next maybe a guide will come to flings. Wouldn't you love that? Can be done even by a snip snip cat. Ever have any useless guides come to pass? At least I proved I can guide people with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Tweeting Spirit Makes You Fear It!

This will make you think the new year is grand. I'll give your so called magic a hand. People say such magical things after all. On Twitter they just never stall.

My goal for today was on time.
So it didn't get stopped by a mime?
Love is friendship that has caught fire.
Damn, dial 911 if things get dire.

pornomat: more...
No thanks at our shore.
It is national fruitcake day and I can't believe it.
My, the fruitcakes are sure coming out to twit.

The weene side.
Between a right and left ride?
Take a stand against crime.
Is that like the equivalent of a talking mime?

Men and women need to understand what makes each other trick.
Hmmm the coppers may then arrest you some slick.
I'm on the loan, okay?
I don't know, did you crush it at your bay?

This morning I started my second full week.
A baby genius just gave twitter a peek.
Stock fell and rose and where were you?
I think I was dropping something in the loo.

Cats talk with their nails.
Only when humanity fails.
My job is all jobbed out.
So can you still call it a job when about?

Meals take free.
Days old, so no fee?
Why must animals eat my grass?
Because you didn't have a sign saying do not trespass?

Can you hop and eat?
Wouldn't that ruin any treat?
Things can't go wrong for me.
And you are complaining why at your sea?

Boiled eggs and toast.
And you just wanted to boast?
Stylin with my rocking boots.
And we should give two hoots?

Don't take the wave, take the ocean.
My, that may cause a world-wide commotion.
With new years coming now is the time to get ready for the magic.
Another sucker has been born, how tragic.

And there you go. Don't you love a magic show? The words are so magical for you. Now you can go and tweet a few. Tweet the magic far and near. Be sure and let everyone hear. For it is oh so real. And pssst I'm really a rhyming wheel. Any magically dumb tweets that you've seen come to pass? Or maybe just a few funny ones in mass? Or a spambot lass? I don't need any pornomats to wipe my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Reject Way Here Today!

The cat will reject you today. Oops, now I have nothing else to say. I just rejected you and you ran away. I hope you didn't cry over what I had to say. That hurts the cat's ears. So you can keep the tears.

A simple rejection.
That is a detection.
It comes and it goes.
There are highs and lows.

Can't sit and neglect.
Always a reject.
Rejection for you.
Rejection times two.

May turn into a million.
Could stray toward a billion.
I am too lazy to count.
But it is a high amount.

See? I rejected counting.
Like Pat rejected me mounting.
How rude is that?
Making me a snip snip cat.

Are you back to neglected?
That I just detected.
Sorry, it's been rejected.
Keep the poor pitiful me infected.

What else is new?
I just rejected you.
No need to talk.
Did you just balk?

Oh rejected me?
Can I get a yippee?
You got rejection for that construction job?
I guess accountant you couldn't stand up to construction Bob.

You got rejected by the NBA?
And why? Because golf is what you play?
Damn, I feel rejected now.
I'm sure in the NBA with my litter box skills I could wow.

You got rejected for a loan?
You got rejected from a phone?
You got rejected from a date?
Maybe you better get one you can inflate?

You rejected my help?
You rejected my yelp?
Can you do that when it isn't done?
I'll reject you once more just for fun.

Do you feel rejected yet? Did you get rejected by this pet? Does rejection make you hiss and spit? Guess what? Learn not to give a shit. You reject things and people and whatever every day. You just rejected traveling to Timbuktu at your bay. Sometimes rejection also needs to come to pass. Sorry, not really, a golfer can't get into the NBA with my litter box skilled little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Only Needy Comes A Greedy!

I need to type this today. If I don't, I can't say. It is too tragic. I'll drain the world of magic. Damn, it was said. Off with my head. How can this be? I need to go climb a tree.

You are in need.
In need of a shower.
Forget about the greed,
You grow more rank by the hour.

You are in need.
In need of a car.
Yes, you are indeed.
Your new one can't go far.

You are in need.
In need of travel.
It must take seed.
If not, life will unravel.

You are in need.
In need of that sparkly rock.
If not, your eyes will bleed.
You'll then go into shock.

You are in need.
In need for a lottery win.
Rub my hands in greed,
If I lose I'll turn into Rin Tin Tin.

You are in need.
In need of a drink.
You just picked out a weed,
So you deserve a glass clink.

You are in need.
In need of a million dollar home.
You have two hamsters to feed.
They need a place to roam.

You are in need.
In need of a date.
You have built up seed.
You really need to mate.

You are in need.
In need of a switch.
Want is your deed.
Isn't deciphering between the two a bitch?

You are in need.
In need of a kick to the head.
Hey, then maybe the need will be freed,
And you can sleep tight in bed.

Do you need to say anything today? Do you need to come clean at your bay? Do you need to shower? If no, you either did, or that could be why dates barely last an hour. Hey, I needed to help you out with two. Damn, now I'm doing it too. I wanted to help you out with two. But did I really at my zoo? Maybe I just wanted to give the needy, who aren't really needy, some sass. That sounds more like it with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Ever So Swift Is The Return Gift!

Are you one of those? Those where the grass grows? You'll see rather fast. You may not want to tell the cat if you are part of the cast. He may make fun. Get ready...and...run!

We have to get out to the mall.
The mail may stall.
We have to get there.
Shoppers better beware.

We aren't here for the deals.
Nope, we made sure we never broke the seals.
All packed and set.
Make sure nothing gets wet.

Here we go.
Daylight on the go.
Bah, we left in the dark.
Wanted to get a place to park.

The vehicle is full.
It was rough to pull.
We have all of this stuff.
We can really get enough.

Now let's return.
Money we can earn.
A gift to us.
No muss, no fuss.

Whatever that means.
I see those TV screens.
I really want that.
Those ones are super duper flat.

But first the return.
These shoppers should learn.
Learn to get out of my way.
I have to return for pay.

Then I may spend.
I'll never lend.
But you can lend to me.
I'll even return it for thee.

Add to the pile.
Takes up many a floor tile.
I asked for it because it costs a ton.
I knew it would make a grand return run.

But, shhhh, don't tell.
Isn't returning swell?
Oh, off to the next store.
You better move aside as I come ashore.

Do you ask for expensive things just so you can take them back? Some surely do at their shack. Somethings don't fit, get two off, etc. and all that stuff, but some ask just to get cash from fluff. Why not just ask for money from the start? Did they suffer a brain fart? Would be less hassle than returning with all the nuts out in mass. Never fear, I'll return tomorrow with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Merry One More At Your Shore!

That day has come back. The one with plenty of boxes appearing at our shack. And other messes that allow me to play. Hey, I also want to have a merry day.


Hope a great one is had.All kinds of fun at your pad.And whatever else you do.Maybe you go to the zoo.
Maybe you itch.That may be a bitch.But they make pills for that.Makes the fleas and worms go splat.
Now that's a cheery thought.I guess it beats a killer robot.At least worms let you stay alive.Robots may make you take a nosedive.
A sex bot, you say?My, what a merry day.Not sure where or why.Hey, I just let it flow on the fly.
So Merry Christmas to one and all.Hopefully you don't have a great fall.And remember that if all you got was coal,At least this scary Santa didn't come by for a stroll.

Didn't you just want to see that once more? I gave you your Christmas wish at our shore. I'm just such a merry cat. Now I shall stop chewing the fat. I'll let you do that with your bird. Stuffing a bird's butt is so absurd. I really had to give that sass. Merry Christmas from Pat, Cass, and my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Rush On In For Today's Spin!

And so the day is near. The day when all are around and the mind is clear. They day when there is relaxation before the next few months of taxation. Damn, this isn't a summer beach day. I really need to watch what I say.

To and fro.Go, go, go.Never sit and stop.Can't be a flop.
The kids are coming.There's holiday humming.Have to stop and watch.I forgot the scotch.
That meant tape.But wine of grape.Now I have to go out.I may as well get trout.
We'll need this and that.I forgot the cat.He needs a gift.I will make it swift.
What's with the line?This isn't fine.I've got things to cook.I have to give that a look.
Where'd you get that?That's where it's at?I think I need it.It would be a hit.
The line is longer.My arms need to be stronger.This is a load.Slower than a toad.
Why are you all here?Where is the Christmas cheer?Don't give me that look.You should be home at your nook.
That's where I need to be.The cat knocked down the tree.Do you see what they sent?I'm going to put him in a tent.
I forgot camping gear.That store is near.50 presents just isn't enough.Damn it, I still have a turkey to stuff.
Are you one of those? Running around like a chicken with its head cut off and striking a pose? I think many a thing can wait. 50 presents is a fine rate. No need to go this way and that. But then I'm just a relaxed cat. I may need a nap after that though. You humans are supposed to be relaxing but still on the go go go. And, yep, you are still out in mass. Seen it plenty a time on this day with my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Worth Of Dough Gets A Go!

The cat can just relax. I don't even have to pay tax. I'll leave that to my slave. I'll just curl up in my cat cave. But you humans sure do a lot. Then things go to pot. Then you wonder why. Maybe the dollar sign in each eye?

Have to go.
Have to run.
Need that dough.
Can't have fun.

20 hour days.
6 days a week.
My eyes my glaze,
But I get the dough I seek.

The 7th day of rest?
Bah, who needs that?
I work 21 hours at best.
I'm not a lazy cat.

Sleep can wait.
It isn't needed.
Money is my fate.
Tons is seeded.

Look at my account?
It is so large.
The tax man takes their amount,
But I'm still in charge.

Months to years.
I've made that much more.
But I don't get cheers.
No one's at my door.

No one at all.
My body is toast.
But I won't stall.
I will just boast.

I've got it all.
All in my account.
It sits and won't stall.
It's so much I can't count.

Do you want to see?
Come and look.
I worked for my money tree.
I don't even have need for a nook.

Look at it there.
Just sitting in the account.
I have money to spare.
A cash mountain to mount.

Do you humans hear yourselves sometimes? My, what the chimes. One actually went on and on to me about it. He thought he was the shit. Broken with nothing but a tiny apartment at his sea. But he had all that money that never goes on any kind of shopping spree. He works, it sits. That would give me fits. What is the point in having a ton and nothing at all? Crappy health leaving one curled up in a ball? We'll take the middle of the grass. We don't want Pat not spending money on my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.