Pat Hatt's Blog, page 27

A Complex Post At Our Coast!

I'm not sure you will understand anything today. It is going to be sooooo out there at play. I can't even understand it myself. I may have to call on a Santa elf. I may need the whole batch. Maybe they can mix and match.

So many to do,
So little time.
That sure is true.
Oh look, a mime.

It is so scary.
It is so hairy.
A mime complex is born.
I watched it while eating corn.

A corn complex.
It came out with sex.
A sex complex.
It made a muscle flex.

A Superman complex.
Look at them pecs.
A superiority complex.
Like better than latex?

A glove complex.
Can't have those objects.
An objection complex.
Blame that on an ex.

A Judge Judy complex.
Who knows the subjects.
Just practice safe sex.
A safety complex.

A practicing complex too.
Two complexes came due.
Two from one.
A numbers complex, run!

A walking complex.
Can't climb that triplex.
A hilly complex.
Can I get those specs?

A instruction complex.
They could bring a hex.
A witch complex.
They sure can convex.

Oh, look a shoe.
A Cinderella complex for you.
Or would that be for me?
So complexing for thee.

Are you complexed now? Do you have a complexion somehow? Is it good or bad? Did the cat mix it up a tad? Did I give you a grammar complex? I guess that is better than one concerning sex. Get snip snip and that too goes away. I cured a complex at my bay. Would that give me a superiority complex now? I think I have one with each meow. Pat does tend to whatever need comes to pass, so it may fit my oh so complex little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Little Deceit Meet And Greet!

The cat will help you out today. I'll stick them all in one spot at my bay. Well I guess I lied. Damn, I already took you for a ride. Where did we go? Damned if I know. I better get going before I add more. I don't want to be a completely deceitful shore.

Easy to install.Already had a ball.It's filled with deceit.No need to repeat.
Luck is on your side.Deceit took you for a ride.Fake word and fake crap.Sorry that you lost your pants, chap.
It's fun to run.Yeah, and I'm a nun.They are both such a true fact.Didn't you see the cat in Sister Act?
Things will get better.Are you my volleyball setter?Can you get it in the air?I broke my leg, not fair.
Things can only go up.Umm, sure, right, yup.The house just went boom.I did climb a mushroom.
No knowledge necessary to apply.So a plane I can fly?Sign me up today.With those big things I want to play.
Makes life easier.Are you a pleasier?Now I have Grammar Nazis after me.I thought you said life would be easy?
A monkey could do it.Did they just throw shit?Did they just eat your ear?Damn, I so want a monkey near.
It can help you.And I can moo.Sorry, I don't.I can, but won't.
Knowledge is power.Wow, I just used up an hour.I learned that grass can grow.I'm so powerful at my show.
Know any more deceitful sayings at your shore? We could go on forever as there are plenty more. Most of them are just crap. Sometimes true when they take a lap. But more often than not, they have no bearing on the plot. Of course if you hired a man servant or some maid lass, you could make life easier like it is with a human slave for my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

It Doesn't Apply. Oh Me, Oh My!

The cat always seems to find the dumb. I guess they like their head up their bum. Beats the heck out of we. Yep, Pat brings in some to our sea. So we go with we. Or we could use we three. Yeah, we said it before but, according to some, we have to be careful with an encore.

The repeat craze.
A remake maze.
That you may think.
Nope, not today's link.

In fact, unlink.
Google's on the brink.
It hates the un.
It can confess to a nun.

You've answered a phone.
You listen at the tone.
You've done it a while.
You can even, oh my God, dial.

Sorry, that doesn't apply.
It just isn't going to fly.
This phone is umm dusty.
It may even be a little rusty.

You've dealt with a kid.
Didn't flip your lid.
Diapers and all that crap.
Literally, poor sap.

Sorry, that doesn't apply.
You may make them die.
You haven't changed a diaper in weeks.
You may forget the sight of cheeks.

You've driven a car.
You've driven it far.
You've driven it near.
You can even, oh my God, steer.

Sorry, that doesn't apply.
It is more like you try.
You just can't fathom it.
Brake to gas, or some shit.

You've repeated and done.
You've walked and run.
Or would that be ran?
Bah, a flash in the pan.

Can't do it once more.
Nope, not an encore.
For it just doesn't apply.
Go now, go home and cry.

Pfffffffffffffft idiots near and far. The three we used we actually heard people tell others at our sand bar. We rolled our eyes and walked away. A few we wanted to smack upside the head at our bay. But hmmm, we haven't done that before. Maybe if we did it it wouldn't apply at our shore. Do you think that would work? Have you ever heard that from some brain-dead jerk? The cat will let them suck on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Who Will Win With This Spin!

A lot of w's in that title there. I guess a lot of t's just came to spare. Which one won out? I'll let you figure out what that's about. For the cat has to win another fight. That interloper is back at our site.


He stole my spot.Thanks a lot.I'm talking to Cassie.She's such a lazy lassy.

Can you see?She just stares at me.Stares and stares.Life is hard when no one cares.

Now I'm stuck here.My disgust is clear.I can't be seen with that fluffy thing.I need to go chase a string.

Hmm what's that?What's up with that cat?He sees something there.Should I care?

Bah, he's got my string.He can't have that thing.He can't have it one bit.I need to get in on this shit.

Closer to me.That gets a yippeee.Stay over there or get a whack.I will go on the attack.

Don't inch closer like me.That isn't the way to be.Back off, shifty eyes,Or you'll be feeding the flies.

All mine now.That gets a meow.The string will stay with me.Shifty eyes can fly free.

And now I have to wait.Wait for Cassie to help guard the gate.Does she really need to scratch that itch?Can't she just let it twitch?

And there we go.Double the show.Now we can ward off any foe.We have double the laser eyes in tow.
Ever get an interloper trying to steal your string? That sure doesn't leave the cat whelmed at his wing. Hmm, maybe they stole something more from you. Put the run to them at your zoo? Laser eyes can do the trick. Or hit them with a brick. The cat heard the latter from the singing bass. So you can blame him and not my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Convincing Rhyme To Drop A Dime!

After today you'll all nod and agree. You'll nod and agree with even a flea. Why is that? Because I'm such a great cat. Don't think that? You will soon where you are at.

The cat is great.
The cat is grand.
I'm never second rate.
I have my own band.

But you may not.
But you may hate.
You may get eye rot,
If you take the latter bait.

Saved your eyes.
I'm so great.
They won't be food for flies.
You can stare at your date.

Found you one.
"I like animels, stuffed turkley, stuff and things,"
She sounds like fun.
I bet she likes diamond rings.

I gave you one.
And only one too.
No long dating run.
No brainless two by two.

Score another for me.
That's double the win.
I'm sure by now you can see.
I'm sure by now you are in.

Being in is best.
It passes any test.
You don't even need to be a guest.
Out is such a pest.

Thought on that?
Told you so.
You love the cat.
That I do know.

And now you do.
All because I shared.
You'll never use my loo,
But at least I cared.

Cared to show you.
Show one and all.
What I said was true.
Now go buy me something at the mall.

Still not buying it? What was that shit? My, you may have a brain. You didn't board the sheep train. Don't you love when convincing is had? Telling you everything you want to hear at your pad. Then you nod and agree. Like you just did for me. Oh, I know you agreed with me after my ohhhh so convincing pass. It is okay to tell my oh soooo convincing little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A No To Yes Button Press!

You humans can sure confuse. The exact opposite is what you use. When you want to say this, you say that. I'm supposed to be the only confusing cat. Guess I better up my game to keep my amused and confused claim.

That's a no.
A no to go.
Take it and run.
That's what is spun.

My brain says so.
It stays a no.
A no that is had.
I don't feel bad.

My lips flap.
They fall for the trap.
No turns to yes.
Oh, what a mess.

I wanted no.
I wanted it so.
I wanted it more.
More than anything at my shore.

Why did I flap?
Flap my dumb yap.
Why couldn't I say no?
I wanted it so.

See? I can repeat.
That sure is neat.
It means double the no.
But my lips are a foe.

No to yes.
More not less.
Stuck with more.
More with a yes encore.

Yes from no.
How does it go?
No in the head.
Yes gets said.

Flip and flop.
It won't stop.
Yes in the head.
Yes gets said.

What's with the lips?
They want free trips?
Maybe those hips?
Hmm those other lips?

Do you think no and then say yes? Come now, you can confess? Is that a no? Whoops, a comment below. Proved the cat right there with seconds to spare. No to yes. More not less. Then you humans wonder why you have so much to do. If only lips came with a no and a clue. Why did you say yes to that out of the grass? Beats me, it wasn't the lips of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Know The Score At Your Shore!

Time to play a game. A game that is ever so tame. Or a game that may not be. Beats the heck out of me. It could be an imaginary one, but if you hear thumping, run. Jumanji isn't fun. You could get crushed by a ton.

A game not played.
A fine fair trade.
Don't play and score.
Score forever more.

The opinion of one.
The opinion of done.
Then done to do.
All the score of you.

Performance report.
Use it to build a fort.
A small one if only one.
But you scored a ton.

Forwards and back.
Glee or flack.
Beats the heck out of me.
You scored at your sea.

Score up your date.
A very fine mate.
Magically add a number.
Think about it as you slumber.

Oh, there's a snore.
That lowers the score.
Or ups the score.
Maybe you like the snore.

A repeat rhyme.
Such a fun time.
An easy go to one.
What have I done?

I lowered my score.
Damn, what could be in store?
I used an idiom too.
Damn it, my score is few.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Like a doctor's room or some mating.
Bad mixture there.
I may have no points to spare.

My score is in.
Yours took a spin.
We have been scored.
Where's the cheering horde?

Don't you love random scoring crap? Say the right thing and you score higher with a lass or chap. Or maybe with a workplace thing. Pull points out their ass for a ding ding ding. When really you swap out the I. Dung then gets to have a try. Did I score well with this pass? I know you would score me quite the little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Significant Look Here At Our Nook!

The cat is still here alone. No one even picks up the phone. And yep, it's as nice as can be. We just make those intruders flee. We may do it in a significant way. That just makes our day. By we, I mean Cassie and I. She can be significant to this rhyming guy.

Some will come.
Some will go.
Big or small bum.
Tall or quite low.

Hey, it rhymed.
So it was said.
It was well timed.
So don't worry your pretty little head.

Some have an impact.
Some just walk by.
Some have little tact.
Some you make fly.

In the memories burn.
In the memories stay.
I guess that's how you learn.
And it gives you something to say.

But then stuck on one.
One only the case.
May have met a ton,
But stick it to only one face.

Slap it on there.
Take a big stamp.
But stamper beware,
Your leg may cramp.

That's the best option.
Others are worse.
You may end up for adoption,
Or just get a curse.

Significant others do that.
They may even get arrested.
So avoid this part of the chat.
Unless you are being tested.

But there it is more.
Nope, came out all wrong.
We'll give it an encore.
The significant other song.

So what are the others?
Do they have their own scale?
Like mothers, sisters, friends, enemies, brothers...
Do you rank them from pass to fail?

Do you have a significant other? Sounds so weird saying it is mother or brother. Unless one is a hillbilly and into that thing. Then ummm power to them at their wing. Or is it husband or wife? Do you give significant strife? Do you not use it at all? Maybe you are PC and give partner a call. In a Howdy Partner kinda way? That may not turn out okay. But aren't others significant too? Or are they just wonderful at their zoo? The cat will have to go ask the singing bass. He can significantly hurt the ears of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Cleaning We Go With Bills In Tow!

We are going to clean today. We don't even need any spray. We don't need much at all. So much easier than cleaning a toilet at your hall. Those are as nasty as can be. But, meh, so is where the cat goes to pee.

You've got no wealth.
But you've got your health.
Or so they say.
Then they come for pay.

Obvious as can be.
Obvious to you and me.
At least I hope so.
If not, check for an alien glow.

And you're even clean.
Clean and serene.
That has to make you happy.
Even if the bill makes you sappy.

You have a clean bill of health.
A little less wealth.
Or maybe a lot less.
But come now, confess.

Doesn't that sound grand?
Let's spread it across the land.
It is soooo great.
A clean bill of health is first rate.

Here's a clean bill of gas.
Not the kind you tend to pass.
The kind you use to fill the car.
It is so clean that you'll get...umm...just as far.

Here's a clean bill of food.
The store clerk was rude.
You stood in line all friggin day.
And you still got the food and we still took your pay.

Here's a clean bill of property tax.
Oh, sit back and relax.
There is no need to pay it.
We can always auction off your shit.

Here's a clean bill of Bob.
Yep, he brought corn on the cob.
He tracked dirt all over your floor.
He even put a hole in your door.

Doesn't it work wonders?
A clean bill as the government plunders.
That should be written into law.
A clean bill of health isn't all we saw.

Did you ever stop to think of that saying? Now I bet you are giving it a replaying. Is the bill clean if they touch it? Wouldn't it have germy hospital shit? How can your body give a clean bill? Does it pop out either end for a thrill? The cat may have given this too much thought and sass. But oh well, that's just the mind of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Buy It Because Of That Where You're At!

Don't you want to buy? Buy what? Bah, I lie. Nothing to buy here, so move along and peer. Yeah, peer over there. That is where you spend all you have to spare. That is so much better. Hmm, Pat may get a nasty letter.

Comparing to this.
Comparing to that.
One's always bliss,
That other always scat.

One has to win.
One has to lose.
Do the other in,
Win a free cruise.

Catch germs galore.
Puke over the edge.
Kiss the germy shore,
Unless you fall over the ledge.

So why do that?
It is just so wrong.
Forget that strat.
A resort is more strong.

Stronger than a ship.
Stronger than staying home.
But oh, its not stronger than this trip.
Go where the dinosaurs roam.

You'll love it there.
Back in time.
Stuck completely unaware.
But you'll never see a mime.

Speaking of which.
That was a glitch.
You may want to switch.
Dinosaurs are a bitch.

They just lose.
Stick to the cruise.
You get free booze.
Maybe some cool ooze.

Flipped back around?
Round and round we go?
Bah, a resort can be found.
That cruise is filled with you know.

I didn't say germs.
You just thought it.
You opened the can of worms.
We'll get back to you in a bit.

Don't you love the compare? They sell you it with comparing to spare. No matter what. Movie, book, trip, etc. at any hut. You are sold by comparing away. When really, they just want your pay. Then round and round it goes. Have you fallen for comparing highs and lows? I'm sure that one has shinier glass. On whatever that is you can surely, not really, trust my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.