Pat Hatt's Blog, page 31

Oh Me, Oh My You Can't Count High!

The cat can do this with ease. Even a dog finds it to be a breeze. Okay, maybe I give too much credit to the mutt. But I'm sure they can when they view many a butt. What is it? Just count to three and then sit.

One, two, three.Do it for me.Do it today.Do it come what may.
One, two, three.I'm counting for thee.What happened to four?Doesn't want to tour.
One, two, three.Do it for me.Do it and do it right.Do it day or night.
One, two, three.I'm warning thee.I've warned and warned.Don't leave me scorned.
One, two, three.Listen to me.I've counted for you.Three has come due.
One, two, three.It is scary for thee.Do you know what's coming?No four will start humming.
One, two, three.Count with me.But do as I say.There is no other way.
One, two, three.I'm coming for thee.Get to your task.Do what I ask.
ONE...TWO...THREE!I screamed this spree.That means you do it.Don't give me any shit.
Do what I want.Those numbers will haunt.They'll forever come after you.One...sigh....two....
Is there magic in three? Does it give you humans glee? Not sure it would. You swing at balls with wood. Three strikes and you're out. That kind of three we wouldn't want about. But just three to say? Hmmm, do you do it in a scary way? One, two, three. Nope, still doesn't do it for me. Are you a one, two, three-er in mass? Sorry, it won't work on my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

A Moving Fresh Tries To Mesh!

No one is moving here. At least not that I know of with my rhyming rear. This is about a year ahead, so we could have put our 19th move to bed. Only 8 for Cassie and 4 for me. Right. On with it at our sea.

Life is great.
Life is grand.
Always first rate.
It gives a hand.

A hand for me.
A hand for you.
No need to flee.
Everything is true.

Life is okay.
Like is pretty good.
I get some pay.
I stack some wood.

Wood to burn.
None to use.
No need to learn.
I just amuse.

Life is crappy.
Life is stinky.
People are yappy.
I cut my pinky.

The finger hurts.
The hand tingles.
Blood comes in spurts.
I hate places for singles.

Time to stop.
Time to move.
Life is a flop.
I need to find my groove.

I'm moving away.
I'm going far.
A brand new foray.
Sure high above par.

Smell that air.
Smell that stench.
A fresh start to spare.
No monkey with a wrench.

So fresh it stinks.
Life is great...grand...sucks.
Where is the missing links?
I'll go and feed the ducks.

Think a fresh start is really fresh? Do you and a shower mesh? If not, you'll still really stink. Not going to change life if you keep going down the drink. A fresh start can only work if you don't stink and make changes to you. Otherwise, back down the drink you may go at your zoo. Moving may change things as well. But won't always where you dwell. Can't always count on that green grass. I'll now go pass some fresh gas from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Time For The Allure of Sure!

The cat has heard this one a time or two. I don't think I've said it at my zoo. It sounds kind of dumb to say. But then we could have had an off day. Or maybe we just wanted one to go away. That could make it come out and play.

You grumble and growl.
You may even howl.
What is that pain?
Did you get hit by a train?

You ask and seek.
No hide at your creek.
But the solution may hide.
You get taken for a ride.

Not the fun kind.
Don't go gutter mind.
Not the gas kind either.
Sorry, you get neither.

Instead you get this.
This little bit of bliss.
From educated to dumb,
They all pull it out their bum.

I'm sure it is nothing, pal.
That is the wise words of Al.
No, not the repeat Penwasser guy.
I just used it as it rhymed on the fly.

I'm sure it is nothing, bub.
Maybe you just need some grub.
Umm, nothing but you may need to eat?
Contradicting is its own treat.

I'm sure it is nothing, you.
Don't even know your name at your zoo.
But I'm sure nothing is it.
No need to have a fit.

And so it goes.
Pain in the toes.
Sure it is nothing at all.
Follow the bouncing ball.

And not just health.
Can go to this, that, and wealth.
My gut is telling me something.
I'm sure it is nothing says the fling.

Out of dough.
Whoops, gotta go.
STD left behind.
I'm sure it is nothing of some kind.

Don't you just love that dumb saying? It seems to have the power of staying. Are you sure nothing was said? Are you sure I got it in your head? Sure it is nothing at all. Are you a doctor at your hall? Are you all wise and knowing? Damn, I'm sure I must be going. And look at what came to pass. My sure came due with the final words of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

This Is How Purple Cow!

Have you ever seen a purple cow? Now that would really wow. Maybe it would be an alien one. They have supposedly gone after cows a ton. Or could just dye it. I don't think that would be a hit.

This is how you rhyme.
I do it all the time.
This much I surely know.
Can wrap it for you in a bow.

This is how you sell a car.
You take it out somewhere far.
You drive it in a ditch.
Sold to insurance with a switch.

This is how you run a work place.
You go around and embrace.
Embrace everyone for fun.
Let the sexual harassment cases run.

This is how you become champ.
You rub a magic genie lamp.
You wish your team was great.
Then winning will be your fate.

This is how you operate.
You open them up like a floodgate.
You watch as the blood drains.
That will cure their aches and pains.

This is how you do the books.
You give numbers dirty looks.
Then they'll go where you want,
And you'll have cash to flaunt.

This is how you write a book.
You give another person's a look.
You change the place and names.
Then you can make author claims.

This is how you get pay.
You don't slave away all day.
You go and rob a bank.
That will fill any gas tank.

This is how you be a clown.
You walk in face paint through town.
Then you get hit by a truck.
People will laugh at a silly umm fluck.

This is how you mime.
You sit and write in rhyme.
You stick your hands in the air,
And act like you don't have hair.

And this is how I show in somethings many have no clue. But that doesn't stop the how to. Their opinions sure flow and they think they know. Yep, they know from working their welfare check what a sports team needs to do to stack the deck. They know how a doctor should operate from watching YouTube and staying up late. Do you know how to? Get many of the how to people talking to you? Do you think they have a clue? No would be the answer usually true. Now I will show you how to end with sass. Such how to people can pucker up to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Hell No We Go!

We don't want intruders in our lair. We just got done with plenty to spare. Or we could have been the intruders there. Either way, we'll pretend it's the former at our lair. But none can get in. What is it with you and your greeting spin?

We look and stare.
Yeah, we're aware.
We just don't care.
Get a dog at your lair.

Or care we may.
Depends on the day.
Meow and rub.
Unless you're a slub.

Then can scare.
Yep, we're aware.
Didn't you get that?
No? Well follow the cat.

You're not welcome at all.
Follow that bouncing ball?
We appreciate it indeed.
Whatever you did at your feed.

At least we'll fake that.
Ah, the life of the cat.
But no welcome mat.
Go away is where we're at.

No intruders allowed.
Three's a crowd.
Or would that be four?
Pat may count for this tour.

But not little old you.
Or you or you...got a clue?
Not welcome one bit.
What's with that shit?

You want intruders galore?
You want them to explore?
You're welcome to that.
So not for the cat.

We'll stick with thanks.
Unless you're with banks.
We won't thank a banker.
Who likes that wanker?

Now you've been told.
On you we may be sold.
At least on what you did.
But no you're welcome will get a bid.

Ever think about that? You're welcome to what as you chat? Welcome to come in? Welcome to take one for a spin? Gutter or car. Leave the door ajar. That you're welcome thing is just scary. You could see a back that's super hairy. Or maybe some feet. Hairy zombie feet are not a treat. Now you will think of it with each you're welcome pass. You are welcome to that and that's it from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Protest Is Set, Nothing But Net!

That is so true. The protest had come due. It is also nothing but net. Why? You must follow the pet. It will be the best thing ever. That and any other endeavor. The ways just roll. Soon we'll reach our whatever the hell we are after goal.

Protest! Protest! Protest!
We have such great zest.
Our way is the best.
Pffft take a knee can rest.

We wear nothing but net.
Even after our needs are met.
Hmm, it feels so good.
Net on umm wood.

Save the trees!
We wear suits of bees.
We buzz all day long.
Our protest is strong.

Oh No! Strong shaming.
Who is to get the blaming?
Oh No! Bad Grammar.
Down comes the hammer.

Tiny people with hammers in hand.
Isn't double protesting grand?
Tiny hammer people at play.
Mario may even come to stay.

Red hats are bad fashion.
The have too much passion.
We have to go bald to stop it.
We can't have that red hat shit.

Scratch your elbow when you have to go.
That will protest so and so and so.
We have no need for TP.
Scratch your elbow with me.

Joins hands with another.
Stranger, lover, mother.
Hopefully all aren't the same.
That would be a hillbilly claim.

Otherwise join hands.
Then do joined hand stands.
Look like a brainless monkey.
Whether your Funky or Chunky.

Bad name pickers.
They are box tickers.
Protest such things coming due.
From now, only call out, Hey You!

Don't you want to protest now? Can you do a double handstand and wow? Is that even a thing? Did you give scratching your elbow a ring? Can a ring fit? My, lots of shit. Oh, scratched my elbow there. That TP is so bad at ones lair. Maybe that is why I chew it in mass. Go ahead and protest my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

With This Ordeal We Finish Heal!

Why even go with start? You humans treat that like a fart. I suppose cats do as well. Dogs may even do it and not find it swell. Looks like most with a brain of some sort give it a no. I bet you thought I was going to say go.

To the finish.
Start will diminish.
Finish is first.
Start's the worst.

Got that now?
Learned somehow?
Nope. Had it.
Skipped that shit.

Time to skip.
Whoops, you trip.
Fall and wham.
Head goes bam.

Like 60's Batman.
Comic bubbles may need a tan.
They stay the same as the rest.
Oh yeah, finish is best.

Injured and beaten.
Some scratches to sweeten.
Sore and loose.
Nope, not in the umm caboose?

Did that make sense?
You jumped the fence.
Fell into the gutter.
There you sit and butter.

Back pain galore.
Ass pain in store.
Stored in the back?
My, hand that ice pack.

It didn't work.
Creator's a jerk.
Pulled and yanked.
Should have been banked.

Banked to save.
Not me in my grave.
I want it now.
Heal me somehow.

Pill or cutting.
Don't start whating?
It's not even a word.
This start stuff is absurd.

Do you skip the start to heal? Rather get to the finish ordeal? Yeah, kinda doesn't work like that. Even pill poppers mask it at best where they are at. Have to start to get to the end. Could even be a while before one gets around the bend. But skipping brings on other crap in mass. Could be far worse than a bad case of gas. Ever had to heal longer than a song from a singing bass? Never any fun, but has to be done by even my impatient little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Right Of It All Has A Ball!

Did you ever notice the left? It has no heft. Like someone took left and ran a theft. Do you know what I mean? No at your scene? We'll fix that. We'll get right on it, stat!

The cat is right.
Right on sight.
Left or right.
Don't matter at night.

Don't matter at day.
During. Either way.
Still don't matter.
Left has left the platter.

Oh. Maybe not.
Left has a plot.
It leaves before showing.
Now the plot is going.

Going just right.
Right has bite.
Right on.
Left's a con.

I'm in the right.
The right track in sight.
Even the wrong track gets play.
Left doesn't have a say.

Right and wrong.
Left can't play along.
Damn right.
Damn left is a fright.

Left can't be whelmed.
It's barely helmed.
All back to right.
Right makes might?

In the right place at the right time.
Right found it sublime.
The left place at the left time.
That must have dropped a dime.

The price is right.
Spay and neuter in sight.
The left is right.
Going fancy free we might.

Maybe we should have left.
Then no vet ball theft.
That would be right up my alley.
Too bad left is lost in some valley.

Taken notice of that at your sea? Right is said and flies free. Left gets the shaft. I guess left is just daft. Maybe right paid to have it get the win. Or maybe all are right handed at their bin. At least that is for most. I'm right on at my coast. Maybe ambidexterity feels even more lop sided. Its time could be bided. Right. That's not right. See? Left can't even take a wrong flight. I guess I will have to get right on my next post that comes to pass. Or maybe I'll left on it with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Hurry Up And Wait Moves To A Later Date!

The cat can relax with ease. I get what I want and then I breeze. Then I don't want much at our sea. Maybe for Pat to stop hiding the TP. But you humans sure want a ton. Then you even want other humans to run.

I'm out! I'm out!
A familiar shout.
Whether in or out.
Or somewhere about.

It you can hear.
Like a backasswards cheer.
Or a bastardized one.
Hey, all in good fun.

Or maybe not.
The eyes say a lot.
As does the tone.
Go chew on a bone.

I want that now.
Get it here somehow.
And you better not be late.
Get it here now, mate.

I don't care.
I'm well aware.
I'm aware of snow.
I'm aware of how far you'll need to go.

I'm aware it's the middle of the night.
I'm aware you have bad eyesight.
I'm aware I let it go.
I'm aware that I should know.

But I want it now.
If not, I'll have a cow.
Do you hear my moo?
You better do it too.

Get it tonight.
Don't wait for the light.
Seconds are ticking by.
Get here like you can fly.

I'm not through yet.
On that you can bet.
....an hour later.
Did you leave me in a crater?

Where did you go?
I want you to show.
I'm aware I'm still yelling at you.
But you should drive and talk too.

Don't you love such nuts? They can't get off their lazy butts. Whoops, I'm out of oil or whatever it is and they blame others for the pop, pop, fizz, fizz. And then they want you there now while they have a cow. Are you such a nut in a lazy arse rut? Pffffft the cat would sure be telling them to choke on glass. So you may not want to tell my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Human Trait Of Nutty Bait!

You humans really are sad. The cat rolls his eyes plenty at our pad. But this clickbait title caught the eye. Not in a good way as away elsewhere we did fly.

You don't have to wait.
We'll share the clickbait.
We'll even share more at our lair.
But first, Celebrities In Their Underwear.

Go ahead and click.
You'll notice them from their flick.
Or maybe not.
No makeup or "additions" for any spot.

But that's not all.
Nope, there is such a call.
We've got so much more.
Celebrities at the shore.

What? That was lame?
But it has what's his name.
Has what's her name too.
Equal opportunity in view.

Celebrities on a roof.
Push them and poof.
No more to see.
Celebrities flattened like your TV.

Celebrities on a porch.
That has to lit your torch.
They may get splinters too.
Does that impress you?

Celebrities on the loo.
Now there is a view.
Watch your idol pee.
That deserves a yippeee.

Celebrities in a moat.
There they are on a boat.
They are humping a goat.
That ought to surely float.

Celebrities on a broom.
They just go zoom.
Can see a blur and nothing more.
Oh look, Jesus even came ashore.

Celebrities eating rocks.
Celebrities getting shocks.
Celebrities buying water.
Celebrities mating with an otter.

Pfffffffffft whoopdi friggin doo. That is what comes from my zoo. But don't you want to see all of that? Note, most were made up by the cat. But the celebrities in their underwear is real. Go click elsewhere if you want that ordeal. Do you fall for such clickbait crap at your sea? Underwear...ummm...yippeee? Pffft once more needs to come to pass. Such celebrity crap can kiss my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.