Pat Hatt's Blog, page 32

The Do Or Die Not Gonna Fly!

 Done and go.Go and done.That we know.That beats none.
None to beat.None to claim.Oh, how sweet.Oh, how tame.
Or maybe not.That mind goes.Adds to the plot.Adds to the woes.
Around we go.Around and through.A brand new show.A brand new view.
Not that new.Not that old.It's got you.You've been told.
Mind to matter.Matter to mind.Up on a platter.Struck with a bind.
Given and taken.Taken and took.Can't go a flakin.Need that there book.
Miss a bit.Miss a lot.That's some shit.It's not so hot.
The do is done.The die is here.I can't have fun.I can't have cheer.
Note the middle.It was lost.Hey diddle diddle.You got bossed.
Ever listen to those voices in your head? The ones that cause you dread? They go all do or die. Guess what? Miss a day, death most likely won't fly. Do and try. That can fly. Will get it done and have fun. Unless fun is jumping in front of a train. Then you may need that brain pain. It will keep you from becoming a flattened mass. Trust me, not much do or die with writing near my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Little Whiff Of The It's Not If!

The cat is here to help you all. I will just have a ball. I may chew on it too. Then I'll give it to the dog when it gets eww. That is so nice of me. I'll do it unless he tries to eat my pee.

Can't do that.
Can't do this.
It is strat.
It isn't bliss.

It's not if this.
It's not if that.
Then it is bliss.
Then it isn't strat.

Confused by me.
Confused by you.
Quite the spree,
When one becomes two.

It's not if I explain.
It's not if you read.
For in a musical lane,
Strat doesn't = shit at your feed.

But if not jingle bells.
Or some other way.
Then away it still spells,
And strat shits away.

Can't do that.
Can't do this.
Chew that fat.
It sure won't miss.

Can do it if.
Can do it if.
Don't have a tiff.
I repeated like Biff.

Blue people stink.
They can't stand.
They crawl and wink.
They pee in their hand.

That is so racist of you.
That is so racist of me.
It's not if you're blue.
It's not if you pee.

Can't do it here.
Can't do it there.
Can do it near.
Strat I must swear.

Don't you love the little outs people use? They sure do amuse. That isn't bad if...insert excuse ever so swift. That is okay if....another excuse ever so swift. Otherwise it is ohhhhhhhhh soooo bad. Oh wait. Not if this is done at your pad. I'll post unless we croak and go beneath the grass. That is a fine excuse for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Coach Call For One And All!

The cat saw an ad the other day and rolled his eyes big time at our bay. As if life coaches weren't dumb enough, now we have coaches for plenty of other dumb stuff.

Sit and stare.
Yell and blare.
I don't care.
Just grow a pair.

Coach-y yell.
What the hell.
Works for all.
Whether pan or ball.

A cooking coach.
Watch that roach.
It doesn't go in.
Now take the spoon and spin.

A book coach.
Now there is an approach.
You'll surely write with someone in your ear,
Instead of typing while sitting on your rear.

A walking coach.
Did mommy have a poach?
Whoops, that would be pouch.
I take it you sat on the couch.

A drinking coach.
AA you better approach.
Take that coach too.
If not, neither have a clue.

A dressing coach.
My, you must have a broach.
Sure can't say you have nothing to wear.
Do they slap your ass when you are bare?

A working coach.
Don't be a roach.
They'll get you work.
It all then goes to that jerk.

An eating coach.
The best way to approach.
This is how you chew.
This little meat used to say mooo!

Sit and blare.
Grow a pair.
Be life's cockroach.
Err umm I mean coach.

Are you such a coach? Yeah, if so, you might not want to approach. The cat would surely make fun. How do you become a dressing coach under your sun? Who would even need one? Clearly all involved have stayed out too long in the sun. Maybe a weather coach would then be needed. To that some weather nut can be deeded. We'd rather them take their whistle and shove it up their coach-y mass. That would be much more productive for them and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Hidden Post At Our Coast!

Can you see this post today? I didn't blind you with white at my bay? Are you reading it now? Are you confused somehow? I don't know if you'll answer me. This post is hidden from thee.

Hidden from view.
Said it to you.
Oh, what a find.
Only if you're blind.

Hidden from view.
Is there a clue?
Does X mark the spot?
I probably think not.

Hidden from view.
My thoughts on stew.
Well that may be true.
Did such a post come due?

Hidden from view.
That improved with new.
Yeah, that's a fail.
Already hit that trail.

Hidden from view.
This post for you.
Blind you'll be.
You just can't see.

Hidden from view.
Does this need a clue?
Maybe you do too.
Because its hidden from view.

Oh, you can see it?
What's up with that shit?
Wait. We can fix that.
Don't go cursing the cat.

Hidden in plain sight.
Isn't that just all right.
So sight is now plain?
My, hard on the brain.

Plain, blind and not.
That's some evil plot.
Right there hidden in view.
I forgot the plain at our zoo.

Hidden in plain sight,
This post that took flight.
Hidden from view,
The nuts two by two.

Can you use hidden when really it is not? Is something really hidden when in sight it is caught? Even if you don't see it is there. So technically not hidden at your lair. Unless hidden in a box on the rooftop. Then that wouldn't be a flop. Is my rant hidden from the class? Don't worry, I'm a confusing little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Tiny Way With A Large Display!

Did the cat contradict himself there? Beats me at my lair. I do it all the time with my first and third person chime. So I'll do it some more. But this one is on the human shore.

This is better.
Read our letter.
It's gotten small.
But damn it all.

The paper is the same size.
Length, width, and height flies.
As in passes like before.
But we got thinner at our shore.

But we won't stop there.
New and improved comes to the fair.
Yeah, those two words together are total bullshit,
But shhhhhh, we don't have to spread it.

For it's the same great machine.
It is still shiny and clean.
It can still do the same.
But we shrunk it to make our claim.

And we didn't stop there.
We have another surprise to spare.
It is the best one yet.
The price is a safe bet.

It will stay the same.
Hey, we aren't to blame.
It may cost less to make,
But in marketing we still have to partake.

Yep, that is truly it.
The whole truth with no bullshit.
Actually the price may increase.
We'll blame it on the markets in Greece.

But for right now,
You and your friends can wow.
You'll get it for the same great price as before.
Smaller, but our ads are still large in store.

Oh, and we sell food too.
Same great product you knew,
But less in the package that you buy.
Same great price, that's no lie.

So enjoy the mini quest.
We give you our best.
It will never get taller.
In fact, next month it may get smaller.

Don't you love that? Same price for their shrinking, not so-shrinking, or other scat? Then they are all whelmed about it while they spurt their bullshit. The sheep lap it up too. Oh look, a mini machine thingy in view. Yep, that really impresses in mass. Much like a flea on my same-sized little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Do You Know What's Gonna Blow?

Suza may blow a gasket at her sea. I used gonna and now wanna came to be. I had to let that flow. I'm not going to repeat it though. At least not 50,000 times. That would be way too many rhymes.

The names change.
Some are strange.
Some are not.
Each the same plot.

Yet each the same say.
Yep, only so many a way.
But they say and say and say.
Like there's never been such a display.

Oh, it's coming for you.
Coming times two.
Or maybe times three.
That is a worse category.

Got it now?
Did my rhyme wow?
Wow as in rather bad?
Did it make you mad?

Same thing, different ways.
I can go on for days.
The questions sure arise.
They just come out like flies.

No sources needed.
Yesterday they were deeded.
This is just show and tell.
Use a green screen for a spell.

Or maybe can't spell.
But what the hell.
You can talk.
Also can squawk.

Squawk like a parrot.
Sheep follow the carrot.
Would that be a donkey?
Beats some old umm honkey?

Honkey Tonk Man may show.
Sorry, no fake sports going toe to toe.
We may use the name though.
That is just so you know.

For this one is called Bob.
He is one big arse slob.
Now let's all board the train.
Time to talk about the next hurricane.

Are you ready to go on and on? Another may surely dawn. And another and another and another. Better go and tell your friend's, wife's, dog's, kid's, uncle's mother. Yes, they are bad and kill and suck in every which way. But how many damn times does the news need to go on about the same damn thing on display? If no hurricanes happened the news would pass faster than my gas. Hurricane Orlin that may be called when it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Born A Rhyme That Way This Time!

The cat heard another really lame excuse the other day. Is there anything else you humans can say? You sure spurt them out a time or fifty. I guess you find them rather nifty.

They are great.
They are grand.
They can date.
They can stand.

They can talk.
They can win.
They can walk.
They can spin.

Their writing is tops.
Their abs are hard.
Their marketing pops.
They have an awesome yard.

They have 100 books.
They have so much more.
I give them dirty looks.
What about my shore?

I want that and that.
I want this and this.
I want to be better at that.
I want to be better at this.

I can't do it.
I can't even try.
I won't make a hit.
I can't tell a lie.

Besides, its not me.
It's all on the others.
The reason comes to be.
It stems from their mothers.

They were born that way.
I don't have their luck.
Listen to what I say.
I double passed the buck.

My logic makes no sense?
Are you that slow?
No, I'm not dense.
You just aren't in the know.

There is no reason to be torn.
I just have to sit and stare.
It's just the way we are born.
I haven't the ability to spare.

Pffffffffffffft is all the cat can say. Actually I can say much more at our bay. But then we'd be here all day. So I will just be on my way. Ever use the "they were born that way" excuse? Want me to prove it is obtuse? That guy has abs over there. He was born that way at his lair. So he was muscular when born? Damn, his mother must have had a very bad morn. Did you get that logic now? Did it suddenly go wow? Another excuse the born that way saying brings to pass. Of course I could have just be born that way to see such things with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Art Of More Than Fart Comes Apart!

The Art of The Sparkly Fart already came due. That is a plug for one of Pat's book in case you never knew. That is an art as well. Like the art of bs-ing to sell.

Let's sell away.We want pay.Comes to a head.Put it to bed.
Be a rich banker.The art of the wanker.The art of the deal.The art of the steal.
A three for one.My, what fun.Throw in a fart.Quadruple the art.
Hey, it rhymes.Used a few times.Like I use mimes,After a few chimes.
The art of rhyme.The art of a mime.Those two don't mix.A mime can't do tricks.
At least with talking.Defeats it with squawking.The art of one.Still an artsy run.
The art of the start.The art to a heart.Start and mend.A heartfelt trend.
Can you feel?May be a nasty ordeal.You may also be dead.So don't get it in your head.
The art of the dumb.The art of a dumb's flapping gum.The art of sucking their thumb.The art of making fun of the dumb.
The art given art.Can't find that at Wal-Mart.But you'll find many another trend.Much like the art of the end.
Did you know art was thrown around so much? Can anything be art that you touch? Damn, if everything is, then why even bother with the art biz? Art can't even exist by itself. Grab a rock and put it on a shelf. You can even spruce it up with some strands of grass. I'm just such an artful little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

The First To Say With This Display!

The cat has to get this out there. What? Just wait at your lair. Or wait wherever else you are. Like a store, work, or in a car. Traffic sure can suck. On that we pass the buck. Did we pass a deer? Hmm, that may not be clear.

Away we go.
High not low.
Low not high.
Either or we'll try.

Try and fail.
Fill a pail.
Try and succeed.
Do a fun deed.

Nope. Snip snip.
No gutter trip.
But if you stutter,
Go to the gutter.

In your head?
That's been said?
No, not today.
But maybe in another way.

We can't be worst.
We want to be first.
We can't be last.
So let's toss the cast.

Last and first.
Best and worst.
Worst and best.
All kinds of zest.

Now it's time.
Time for a chime.
A chime from me.
One you can't see.

Can't even hear.
Unless you say it clear.
But why would you speak?
Had to take a leak?

That would cause it.
No dribble bit by bit.
You needed in.
Hear that today at your bin?

That you may.
So let's have our say.
We've already had much though.
Pissy Blackboards reap what they sow!

Was I the first to say that? Come on, you can tell the cat. Why did that pop in? Don't ask me at my bin. It is loony after all. Bet you never heard that said at the mall. I said it first so I am the winner. Where is my chicken dinner? Are you one of those? Have to say things first while you strike a pose? Even though most things have been said before, you still act like it was magic at your shore. Sorry to say, not really, that there is more magic in the gas that comes out my mouthy little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Nothing Go Blind In Mankind?

Is nothing a magic word? Like abra kadabra, just not as absurd? At least the latter is fun to say. Nothing just has a meh display. But you say it a lot. And not just with an I have nothing to say plot. That we've done. But here is another nothing we have many a time heard spun.

Nothing comes and doesn't go.
It stays at each nothing show.
It comes without a show.
How? Damned if I know.

Nothing blinds the user.
That may make nothing an abuser.
Or maybe just a cheat.
Nothing sure can't delete.

The button is broken.
Can't stick in a token.
For nothing has won.
And you are just done.

Need to pay and pay.
But nothing will stay.
It will linger for a while,
Then nothing comes back in style.

The style of it.
Like this Nothing bit.
Goes around and comes.
It covers all bums.

Or maybe not.
There's a nude beach and a robot.
Neither of them may count.
Nothing sure can amount.

For I've got nothing to wear.
There are dozens of clothes right there.
If not hundreds in sight.
But nothing takes flights.

I'll have to go nude.
But that would be rude.
Oh well, I'm blind now.
I won't have a cow.

I may feel that.
Could come out rather fat.
But what do I care?
I've got nothing to wear.

Not even a towel.
Nope, can't buy a vowel.
I don't even have TP to spare.
I just have nothing to wear.

Don't you kinda roll your eyes at this? Nothing sure must have a whole other meaning and it isn't bliss. It gets thrown around with lots to say and it gets thrown around with plenty of clothes on display. Did the definition change? Maybe people find the word strange. Have you used it at your sea? Not a fan of going naked like me? I suppose you can't get away with it in front of a human mass. Oh well, nothing to wear doesn't stop my furry little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.