Pat Hatt's Blog, page 30

And Then I'll Post At My Coast!

The cat will get to you soon. It may be now or before noon. I'm not sure when it will be. I may post, I may not at my sea. Why is that? Just follow the cat.

You want a post.
I'm your host.
I have to post.
I have to the most.

The most because me.
Who else at our sea?
Cassie or Pat?
Pfft, they'd fall flat.

But  I just can't.
There is a slant.
A slant needs to be fixed.
And then can't can be nixed.

But there is more.
There is an encore.
I must fix the door.
And then I'll post at my shore.

Nope, still have can't.
Comes back like an ant.
I have to kill that ant.
And then I'll rid myself of can't.

Can't stop now.
Can't came back somehow.
It is here to stay.
Maybe I'll post later on today.

First I have to run.
And then I have to meet a nun.
And then I have to eat.
And then I have to walk the street.

And then I have to run.
And then...whoops, used that one.
And then I need to fly.
And then I need to cry.

And then I have fish to fry.
And then I have to fix the well that is dry.
And then I have to call Lassie.
And then I may have to settle for Cassie.

And then I have to use the loo.
And then a nap must come due.
And then I have to think up new excuses for you.
And then a post still won't shine through.

And then sure gets thrown around a lot. Sometimes one can't do things on the spot, but you humans complicate a lot. Way more of a no than not. And then you can't even say no. And then the excuses flow. And then you never do what you say will come to pass. And then can go in the place where I relieve my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Time To Process...More Or Less!

I will give you time to think. That will drive you right to drink. It may also drive you to eat. Can thinking drive you for a treat? Yes? No? Maybe so? Process that while I go all rhyming cat.

Let's start the process.
More or less.
I repeated the mess.
Like a move in chess.

What kind of process?
Food that is a mess?
Paperwork that takes more not less?
Should I start to digress?

Nothing to that process.
But there is little stress.
Stress more not less.
Hmm, flip that stress.

Should we take a recess?
Kid or court to impress?
Is this going to excess?
That may be the process.

Good we have easy access.
That makes for success.
Like some kind of dress.
They say it brings success.

The cat is nude, we confess.
Does that end the recess?
Does it put a stop to the process?
Are we back to more and not less?

It is okay to profess.
That brings progress.
Or maybe even confess.
Can you do it with finesse?

Should you really undress?
Make sure you're at the right address.
Some may then obsess.
They may even try to outguess.

The stalker may caress.
Watch that weird process.
Now I may need to digress.
Can we take a recess?

Publish I soon need to press.
Hey, I press it more or less.
Just nod and say yes.
That is today's process.

Did you process all of that? Are you in the process of processing the words of the cat? You may be processing for a while. I think that is what they call the government's style. I have now processed through my process sass, so off I'll go and process the next rhyme from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

You Should Be At Your Sea!

The cat heard yapping the other day, and then the nut came our way. She yapped and yapped and yapped some more. She started yapping about nuts we would never ever invite into our shore.

What's with you?
They're a fine crew.
They are great.
Can't you relate?

No friggin way?
But they'll come and play.
They'll mooch and steal.
Isn't that a good deal?

You need to lighten up.
Let them fill their cup.
They are just the best.
Hey, don't call me a pest.

Listen and learn.
It is my turn.
Now I'm telling you.
This advice is true.

Be nice to all.
Don't let hate fall.
You never know when you'll need them.
Did I just see you cough up phlegm?

How dare you mock me?
I gave great advice to thee.
Let them walk over you.
My advice still holds true.

You may need them one day,
Long after they are done stealing your pay.
They may then come to your aid.
Isn't that such a fair trade?

Are you walking away?
Didn't you hear what I had to say?
Don't call me crazy.
Your view is the one that's hazy.

You'll know when you are in need.
You will know indeed.
You just wait.
There will come a date.

Did you just say that?
Well I never where I'm at.
You just aren't nice.
Come back when you want my advice.

Pfffffffffffffft the cat had to say. Actually it may have been much more colorful at our bay. This nut was determined I'd need moochers one day. All because we are far and between related at our bay. Pffffffffffffft once more says the cat. I'm more related to Pat. Are you nice to all and let them walk over you at your hall? Wasn't that the best advice? You never know when you may need them so be nice. Yeah, that is a reason to be nice. Pffffffffffft needs to be said more than twice. Pound sand is what such people can do in mass. I know, I'm so not a very nice little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Come And Hire With My Flyer!

The cat is going lazy today. We will hire it out at our bay. We just don't want to work. Lazing back is a perk. So we shall see what they do. They seem to think they can make it come due.

Hello, friend.I won't offend.I'm here to work.Wood chopping or clerk.
I don't do early.I may get squirrely.I don't do late.Sorry, mate.
I don't do snow.That makes me go.I don't do rain.It causes me pain.
I don't do grass.It hurts my ass.I don't do sun.It makes me run.
I don't do heavy lifting.I don't do sifting.I don't do driving.I don't do bee hiving.
I don't work through lunch.I want to talk a bunch.I want to be on my phone.I want to answer it at the first tone.
I don't clean.I don't like it if you are mean.Don't tell me what to do.I don't like to hear from you.
I don't work every other day.I don't listen to what you say.I want lots and lots of pay.I probably won't stay.
I may even steal.So is it a deal?Just shake and say yes.Know that I may also do less.
Was that a no?How could you though?You are looking to hire.Come and re-read my flyer.
Hmm, the cat may skip this one. I guess I'll to back to getting the rhyming done. Do you want to hire such a chump? May turn into the next Trump. Just let them do nothing at all and pay them a ton. That is how "great" work gets done. I'm all done with my lazy person sass. I'd rather hire the singing bass or the gas that comes out my ever so sassy little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

The Detoured Way As That Family Comes Back To Play!

Pat has written another one. It doesn't even have a rhyming run. How rude is that? I guess it is the life of the cat. Have to let him have a few. I need to eat too.

Click Here For A Kindle Peer!
Click Here For A Print Peer!

After a battle for their family's survival, Emma and Martin decide to pack up their five kids and drive across country, each seeking the return of their normal life. Their wish quickly comes to fruition until on one dark night they are forced to take a detour. When an accident brings their trip to a halt, they quickly learn that the darkness within Follit's Cove runs deeper than any night.
Far from home with only each other, Emma and Martin must unravel the mystery of their accident,  survive a town that is dead set against seeing them and their kids leave, and realize the horrid truth of Follit's Cove if they ever wish to make it home alive. 
And there we go. Number 124 is here to show. Sound good to you? I'm sure there will be more in a few. Have to make it to 150 or so. Now I can go back to my flow. Enjoy 124 that has come to pass, even if it doesn't rhyme like the blog of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Is Stretch Like Fetch?

The cat has no idea why Pat had to move after a bit. He didn't pee like he usually does after for a while we sit. But I questioned him to find out. He said he needed to stretch his legs about.


Pffft to that.No need to move where one is at.Don't you see me stretching my legs?Round blocks may fit in those square pegs.

See? Easy as can be.Can even be done by she.Cassie just stood up.So simple can be done by a pup.

Can even stretch out the bed.Barely have to raise your head.Just stretch and sleep.No movement at your keep.

Or just ignore.Easy at any shore.Be a grump like Cass.That stretching need shall pass.

Unless you have to chase this guy.I need to make him fly.He's on top my tower.Soon he shall cower.

Or fill a box.No need for socks.Just stretch and fit.There you can still sit.

No. Not like that.Get off the tower of the cat.I'll claw you.I'll use both paws too.

See? Can't even get a drink.So leg stretching must sink.The old guy steals my water.I swear he's part otter.

Give a death beam.Turn and let it stream.Come on Cassie, do it.At least you can hiss and spit.

Why are you looking at me?Go away and flee.Don't look at me like that.I'm stretching my legs like Pat.
Do you see now? Can stretch your legs with ease thanks to my meow. Are you still looking at me? Don't you think it rude that Pat tried to flee? He should be able to sit for at least ten hours in mass. Then he can get up and leave my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A WEP Voodoo Right In View!

We slunk to the right, using the shadows that mocked the night. Pat quickly yanked us back. None of us knew how we appeared in this murder shack. Although when the godly mook started to yap, we figured he had something to do with this latest trap.

"Drazin is going to burn you alive." Drazin sure can glare. Maybe it was her blonde hair.

"Thy. I shall help the demon." Pat sprang away from us. We rolled our eyes as he clearly boarded the short bus. He used a candle stick like a sword. It sure is a wonder how in the past he won that WEP award.

"Voodoo on you!" Some cloaked figure flung its arms. Its weird melted man mask then glowed like a bowl of Lucky Charms.

"What has thy demon done to...rabbit...rabbit...rabbit..." Pat stood in one spot while he shrunk quite a lot.

"Is he saying rabbit? Others frogs may make fun if he makes that a habit."

"Shut up, Orlin. You take your little rhyming ass that way and I'll go the other." Cassie sure sounded like my mother, but I obeyed like a good brother.

We slunk around the murder shack while Blondie eyed Drazin like she wanted to have him for a snack.

"I want to do that. I want to maim him."

Drazin tugged at his binds. He hated being at the mercy of voodoo minds. "When Drazin breaks free, Drazin is going to burn this whole place to the ground."

"You will pay!" She turned to the masked nut, allowing it to grope her butt. "Teach me. Teach me!"

The figure stood Blondie straight and then pointed at our frenemie mate. "Voodoo is within." He groped her butt once more. I guess it was so cushy he needed an encore. "Now spin."

Blondie spun back toward her foe. Why Drazin was, I probably don't want to know.

I could see Cassie trying not to hack up a hairball as the thing thought he was at some fancy ball. He sure twirled. It was so bad that I may have hurled.

"Now you have your chance, so straighten up your stance. Picture the one you despise. Let the hatred fill your eyes."

"Like this?"

"Don't interrupt the rhyme or my flow won't keep time."

"Is this right?" She looked like a dead fish. One out in the sun on a paper dish.

"No need to take a shit. Since birth it has been lit. But time to light another. Picture who you want to smother."

"Got it."

"Now let the hatred fill. Think of your next kill. Find that flow within. Time to do him in."

"Drazin will do you stupid humans in." Drazin yanked some more. He then repeated the same not-so-threatening encore.

"I can't. Voodoo is too hard." She pouted like a cow. Those lips grew somehow.

"But your face is showing. The voodoo has started flowing. Your voodoo is now growing. Time to get to sowing."

It stepped away. No more prancing on display. Then its voice rang out all over. Why couldn't I just have to deal with a butt-sniffing rover?

"Time to voodoo this. Time to voodoo that. Voodoo sure can't miss. My, your bum is fat."

"What?" She turned to see but then voodoo flew free. "What is this?"

"Gross," Cassie mumbled.

Blondie's face began to melt away. It looked like soupy Lucky Charms on display. It then went down her throat. It came out of her not so rhyming ass like a hole in a boat. The thing sucked it into its mask. After that, I just had to ask.

"What's with the return loop? Do you enjoy the taste of poop?" I leaped to Pat's side, who still said "rabbit" with pride.

I then easily heard from Cass, "Stupid rhyming ass."

"Fleabags, what are you doing here? Did you bring Drazin to this...this..." Drazin's jaw dropped after Cassie whacked its mask and everything on it flopped.

It stood before us as naked as can be. It had nothing up or down to see. It was only grey and wanted to have its say. "Now you've seen me true. Now you've become wise. With a little voodoo, I'll pluck out all your eyes."

"Run, godly mook. I never thought I'd see you spook." I freed Drazin and he ducked. Then Pat he quickly plucked.

"Your stupid human is going to get stomped on, fleabags."

"Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit."

"Might serve him right." Drazin covered Pat. I never thought I'd see that.

"Voodoo over here. Voodoo over there. While you run in fear, I voodoo without a care."

"Why..." Blondie reached for it. Not sure how she even spoke that bit.

"Drazin has a plan, fleabags." Drazin spun around another voodoo beam and then his eyes began to steam.

"That is the way. Let your voodoo come to play." The thing began to suck away Drazin's face, but he forgot about Drazin's embrace.

Drazin shoved Pat in the air and Pat took in voodoo light between the pair.

"I think the words you are looking for is, I'm melting." Pat stepped on Blondie's goop. What remained of her looked worse than when I have runny poop.

"Voodoo for right. Voodoo for wrong. Time I take flight and voodoo along." It began to back away but we made it stay.

Cassie tripped him from behind. I then smothered its face with my behind. Drazin stomped it in the gut while Pat used the candle he had swung when he had become a nut.

"Allow Drazin." Drazin caught the wick on fire. "Now make this Voodoo expire."

"Voodoo will come and voodoo will go. This..."

"Shut up." Pat shoved the candle into its gut and it grew to be the size of a plump King Tut. "It's gonna blow."

Cassie and I took cover while Pat and Drazin both looked like they got...umm...emptied on by a giant lover. At least it wasn't sticky. That would have been more icky.

"Care to tell us what that was about, godly mook?"

"Drazin doesn't answer to you, fleabag. Although Drazin will say that Drazin thought all the Voodoos were dead. Drazin may have to look into that."

"And the..." Cassie rolled her eyes as we faded away, each of us once again glad we had survived the day.

"I got Voodoo in places where Voodoo shouldn't be." Pat stripped off and ran to the shower. He was sure going to need one with power.

"Do you think the thing was some alien creature? It did backwards probe that Playboy wannabe feature."

"If it was, maybe it will beam you up. I've been trying to get them to take you away for years." Cassie smirked and trotted away. The prissy thing would get a surprise the next time she went to the litter tray.

"This Voodoo won't come off. Rabbit. Damn it."

We laughed as Pat continued to shout, both hoping that he would get that annoying rabbit thing worked out.

***************************
And there we go. How was that for a voodoo show? Did you know Voodoos were real? What is their deal? Wouldn't some crap get on that rainbow stuff? That must go down tough. Do you think it was an alien showing? Let's hope the Voodoo trend doesn't start growing. Now I think I'll go rest with Cass and prevent any lights from coming out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

All Of A Sudden The Ideas Are Flood In!

The cat is suddenly going to post. Don't I do that every day at my coast? But today is as sudden as can be. Admit it, you didn't expect a post from me. Come on. Admit it so this post can dawn.

The sudden effect.
Gets no neglect.
Gets lots of play.
Like once upon a foray.

That may be time.
Hey, it didn't rhyme.
Admit that to yourself.
Good. You get a stuffed elf.

All of a sudden you don't.
What? You knew you won't?
Bad grammar there.
All of a sudden it left at my lair.

Did you re-read?
Damn, failed at my feed.
All of a sudden you go.
Sudden no longer will lie low.

Can sudden lie?
Beats this guy.
Why do you suddenly care?
Didn't you leave my lair?

All of a sudden I speak.
We're all up shit creek.
All of a sudden we win.
Nope. Still a shitty spin.

Suddenly all becomes aware.
It goes on a tear.
Or maybe a bender.
All gets mixed in a blender.

All of a day...
All of a play..
All of a head..
Suddenly all doesn't care what I said.

All of a sudden it returned.
It with sudden surely earned.
All alone never won.
All of a sudden that was spun.

All of a sudden I'm done.
All of a sudden I stop poking fun.
I must stop all of a sudden.
Suddenly the ideas aren't flood in.

Should that be flooding in? Bah, all of a sudden you ignored it at our bin. Do you go all of a sudden at your sea? Is it usually something you could see? Wouldn't all and sudden both fail then? Oh what some humans can say or pen. All of a sudden I have to go. I held it for a while though. All of a sudden didn't get a pass. All of a sudden I stopped typing after my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Milestone Day Comes To Play!

By that title you may think 3000 posts have come due. Nah, not yet at my zoo. I wouldn't be so subtle about that. I am a rather blatant cat. Or am I? Guess it depends on what decides to fly. Did I say that before? Who knows at my shore.

The milestone has come.
Don't stand and be glum.
It is year 63 for you.
What? Doesn't stick like glue?

The number too odd?
You have a fat bod?
Do I want to know?
Please, don't show.

The milestone has come.
Shake that bum.
100 years is here.
Do you still have a working rear?

100 years for you.
100 years for a clock too.
100 years for a fork.
100 years for some pork.

The last may go bad.
Death may be had.
Skip it for a 100 more.
100 sure likes to come ashore.

The milestone is here.
Don't you have any fear.
We'll announce to all.
Your day sure won't stall.

99.99% of people don't care.
But that 00.01% will be aware.
That sure is a real win.
Wait. They already knew at their bin.

Another milestone for you.
That makes two.
You may reach three.
That has to impress thee.

Like the 100 year spoon.
It and the fork went to the moon.
Like the 100 year floor.
Don't walk on that anymore.

The 100th making fun post.
Whoops, can't count at our coast.
Add a zero and a two.
Nope, still no milestone came due.

How come you don't celebrate odd milestones? Do you want to avoid big bills of phones? Isn't 63 better than 60 to come to pass? How come inanimate objects don't get them in mass? Many are older than you or I. You may make your poor computer cry. It gave you ten years of hard work. Okay, 2 before it really became a jerk. It may want to be celebrated in mass. This has been milestone 2870 from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Zombie In Disguise As The Dead Rise!

Those brain suckers are hiding everywhere. Today the cat will make you aware. I may put my life at risk though. Or you may need to bail me out with lots of dough. They may lock me away, but we can't have the brain suckers get their way.

Strolling along.
Singing a song.
What is that noise?
It brings no joys.

Humans are speaking.
Their brains are leaking.
Leaking common sense.
They have gone dense.

Dense in the head.
It's like they are dead.
Oh no, they got me.
How can this be?

They are walking and talking.
They sure are a squawking.
They are hard on the head.
I wish they were dead.

Normal state of mind.
I'm back and so unkind.
It just had to be done.
This tale needs to be spun.

Spun and weaved.
Don't get peeved.
Do something though.
It's like you're dead, you know.

Bah, caught once more.
I've lost brain cells galore.
How could that be?
The zombie must have got me.

The invisible kind.
It sucked out my mind.
That is so unkind.
I'm sure in a bind.

I can't move.
I now can't prove.
Prove what I said.
It's like I'm dead.

I must be.
I'm dead to thee.
Oh, that is okay.
Just means you're nuts at your bay.

Did you follow along? Did my dead go all wrong? Do you says such things at your sea? How can one be like they are dead when busy like a bee? Isn't dead...you know...dead? Can one be dead in your head? Would that make you nuts? I may have just created zombies at many huts. Head for the hills in mass. Zombies are dead to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.