Pat Hatt's Blog, page 20

A Fake Report May Hit Abort!

The cat was snooping here and there and then some news came that you need to be made aware. Well maybe not need, but it still must take seed. The cat likes to share. At least today at our lair.

There is a land.
A land ever so grand.
At least it thinks so.
As do those in tow.

They toe the line
Right idiom by the feline.
Look at that.
Actually, they don't do such scat.

Glimmer and glamour.
Smash them with a hammer.
Speaking of which,
The Ghostbusters will return to fight a court glitch.

Howard The Duck is at play.
Nothing to Lose 2 will be on display.
Along with Big Momma's House 4.
5 will then take a back to back tour.

A remake of three.
Most worst than cat pee.
But they will be given a go.
Like Mo' Money...more Mo?

Brewster's Millions is spending.
First Knight may be out lending.
Bourne the remake camera shake.
Turner and Hooch stop an earthquake.

Double Dragon the return.
Bonus coins you can earn.
As in keep them and don't go.
Bonus and a win, you know.

Vice Versa 3.
Two never came to be.
So they skipped it.
Like Beverly Hills Cop 4 or some shit.

Predator vs Alien 3.
They never skipped two at any sea.
Brain melts from watching it.
That really is shit.

That Damn Cat 56.
Up to the same old tricks.
And we saved the best for last.
Back to The Future The Remake with lookalikes of the cast.

Now aren't you glad you are in the know? The cat sure went to great lengths to get these to show. Do you even believe the cat? Any you'd actually watch where you are at? Yeah, we'd probably skip them all. Beverly Hills Cop 4 might make our disgust stall. But we doubt that will come to pass. I continue to be a sharing little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

To Infinity Upside Down At Our Town!

Or would that be 90 degrees? I'll have to ask the fleas. I have some saved to send to your knees. I can even ship them over seas. I haven't made that threat in a while. It is good that it never goes out of style. What is the cat going on about that for? I guess memory lane has come ashore.

Can memories have a lane?
Did I cause your brain pain?
You should be used to it.
Every day I tend to do that shit.

I may even swear.
Whoopsy, at my lair.
Not really though.
I just wanted to give whoopsy a go.

Different than Whoopdi Friggin Doo.
That stars all of you.
Different than pound sand as well.
That just wouldn't be swell.

Differences abound.
They can be found.
They were and are.
Like drunks at a bar.

Hmm, bad one there.
They are dumb to spare.
Did we say that?
Such a bad cat.

What about the title?
Don't like it when idle?
Was that a bad rhyme?
Bah, beats becoming a mime.

I guess I'm whelmed.
Yeah. Yeah. The title that's helmed.
Don't rush me.
I'm in memory lane, you see.

Can you see it?
Who makes up this shit?
I swore twice in one go.
Damn, is that a no no?

I guess I should stick with wanker.
Unless one is a planker.
Do they even do that any more?
Probably moved on to another dumb thing at their shore.

I'm taking a pee while typing this.
I really am, and didn't miss.
First time I said that at our sea.
See? I can still surprise after 8 years of rhyming to thee.

Did you see where my memory lane ended? No need for anything to be amended. The cat has hit 8 years at his spot. 8 years since I started this rhyming plot. Two to go for a perfect ten. I think I'll make it at our den. Unless we go boom or just croak. But then I am probably already on typing 9 years before this was spoke. Should that be a spoken pass? Bah, don't mind my 8 years of blogging little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Wonder Of It Takes A Hit!

The wonder is around. I guess it can be found. It can make the cat wonder with ease. I wonder when I feel that breeze. I wonder about you. Not really, better things to do. Like take a nap. I won't fall for the trap.

A winter wonderland.
Isn't it grand?
White and more white.
Racist at my site.

Whoops, damn you snow.
Not letting me give PC a go.
That is just so rude.
No wonder you get attitude.

No, we don't wonder.
I know the no is a plunder.
Which is which?
I know the no's got a glitch.

Blame the snow.
It's wondrous glow.
What happened to the E?
Damn, the snow is stealing letters from me.

Must have stole the meese.
Can't blame the geese.
I wonder if that's true.
Not really, between me and you.

A wonderland before us all.
White upon white at every hall.
Except the upside side of Earth.
There sweaty things are giving birth.

Hmm that could be taken wrong.
The snow will have bee banned before long.
Its wonderous way is here.
Pffft I took the E back for my rhyming rear.

I'm overtaking the snow.
I will make it get up and go.
All I have to do is get up and go.
Not sorry to turn you yellow, snow.

Is the land talking?
That must be some squawking.
What is the land wondering?
Is our thoughts it plundering?

A wonderous snow and a pirate land.
We have a full on uprising at hand.
But I got back the E.
No snow can beat me.

Did you follow that? We went wondering in the winter at our land. Isn't that what it means? I see it on a few screens. Can the land wonder about us? I bet every other word is a cuss. Do you wonder about the cat? I'll blame this crazy one on Pat. Or maybe I'll wander over to Cass. Either way, it's okay to wonder about my wandering little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

I Used To Be Comes To Umm Be!

The used to be comes on out. It is a thing every human gives a shout. At least the ones with rings on the tree. That is a nice way of saying super old from me. Hmm did that cancel it out? Damn, I used to be good getting those about.

I used to be, I used to be.
A thinking back from little old thee.
A thought to thought about the plot,
It comes on back not so hot.

I used to be, I used to be.
Yes, we've heard your double spree.
Say it once, say it twice,
Either way you pay the same price.

You used to be this, you used to be that.
You used to be able to keep up with the cat.
If that were the case, I'd be toast.
So I'll move ahead before I boast.

You used to be this, you used to be that.
Now you've turned me into a repeat cat.
I used to ignore much much better.
I now repeat the same damn letter.

I used to be faster and on the ball.
But it was made of plaster and broke down the hall.
Is that how it works with the I used to be?
The used to sure beats little old me.

I used to be, I used to be.
Can you spit it out already for me?
You used to be pretty and young?
Maybe stop rolling in cow dung.

You used to be neat, you used to be wise.
Maybe the couch you should delete and hope no one dies.
You used to be able and oh so fit?
Maybe get up from the table and do shit.

You used to be tallest in your eighth grade class.
And I used to be able to hold onto my gas.
I slipped in an I when all about you.
I used to be quicker at that at my zoo.

I used to be ready and able to play.
I used to be as springy as the month of May.
I used to be able to cook and clean.
I used to be able to beat all on my screen.

I used to be, I used to be.
Then I got lazy and grew like a tree.
Never able to move and stuck in one spot.
Means the same thing, at least that you caught.

Newsflash too. A cover reveal at the IWSG zoo.
Click here to view more at their shore.
Are you an I used to be user? Are you an I used to be abuser? Some of those used to bes are full of crap. Many could still do them if they didn't be a lazy arse and allow such a gap. Getting young and pretty again though, you may be shit out of luck giving that a go. But you never know what a mad scientist may have cooking. You should be cautious though when booking. I used to be far more mouthy with my sass. I guess I better work on that with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

I've Returned But Never Learned!

The odd time there is a return. They come back to earn. Earn what you have at your sea. The lazy way it usually comes to be. Then that return comes up short. But why is usually the retort.

Hello blogland.
Life has been grand.
I've been a busy bee.
But I'm back to see thee.

I've been away.
I'm back to play.
I still have nothing to say.
So I'll repeat each day.

Hello blogland.
Life is still grand.
It's been a day.
I'm here to stay.

I enjoy seeing you.
I made a post or two.
Great post from you.
I read it all the way through.

It was so great.
None can relate.
Now come visit me.
Follow back my sea.

Here is the link.
I want to know what you think.
Actually, I want you to buy.
So give the link a try.

Hello blogland.
This is so grand.
Can you give me a hand?
Listen to my band.

Buy what we sell.
It sure is swell.
Come read my book.
I dare you to take a look.

Hello blogland.
This isn't grand.
This blogging thing is so hard.
I have to go mow the yard.

I have nothing to say.
I may come back one day.
But my stuff you can still buy.
You'll make me one happy girl or guy.

Ever run into any of those? I'm sure you have as they strike a pose. Come back all big and bad only to sell crap at their pad. But those Great Post comments are so swell. They should sell, sell, sell. Pffft and I'm a rhyming squirrel lass. Such bloggers won't be fooling my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

And That Makes 3000 Rhymes Done 3000 Times!

So today a big number comes due. 3000 rhymes have shined through. From the scary version one rhymes of the past to this one which will soon be in the past. I'll probably be near 3500 when this goes. But what should we do for our 3000th pose?

Look back at the past?
Drazin, Tarsier Man, and the cast?
That buffoon would come to play.
We don't have time for him today.

Make fun of a saying.
Time gets a replaying.
How can we even have time?
Did we kidnap it with the help of a mime?

Make fun of mimes.
Such grand times.
Until they shoot you.
Killer mimes sniff glue.

That would be headline news.
With news you can't lose.
At least until you do.
Clickbait through and through.

PORNO PUSSY DELIGHTS.
Clickbait in big neon lights.
What? We had to do it.
Just fit in with our 3000th fit.

Like stats to all of you.
Pull from ass and put in view.
Believe and quote.
Now the fake are of note.

Live and Let Live.
Go ahead and forgive.
Or some other crap.
Yeah, let's do a quote recap.

This rhyme rhymed.
It was well timed.
We just got lucky.
Yeah, luck can go flucky.

Nothing but fake.
A human need to partake.
Blew the mind once more.
Such a chance of an encore.

And with a whoopdi friggin doo,
We are now done through and through.
The 3000th post has been helmed.
Came in and stayed nice and whelmed.

Are you whelmed at your sea? Think any search engine nuts will find us with the clickbait from me? You just never know. If they do, we'll show. Have you reached 3000 posts yet? Do you think 10,000 will be reached by this pet? That would be a nice number to my OCD. But damn, another 22 years or so of blogging will have to come to be. Pat will be older than dirt and we'll be dead. I guess I better start to get 10 years ahead. Yeah, like that will come to pass. But here's to 3000 more from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

After Today Let's Tomorrow Replay!

The day is going and there comes a showing. What showing is that? Nothing where you are at. Can that be a showing? Oh, it can be as the days keep a growing. Nothing from not. Or some kind of trot.

Things to do.
Things to see.
Both are true.
Both apply to thee.

Apply but no.
That's the end.
Apply out the window.
Deny is the trend.

But can't admit.
Have to remain.
Forget that shit.
Just blame the rain.

For it's after today.
That's the key.
Come what may,
Just let it fly free.

After today I'll do it.
After today it will get done.
After today I'll take the hit.
After today I'll give it a run.

Today goes to today.
Or today to tomorrow.
Can be said either way,
As time you try to borrow.

Things still to do.
Things still to see.
Both are still true.
Both still apply to thee.

Apply but not.
No applying one's self.
After today is shot.
No elf on a shelf.

After today, I swear.
After today it will be done.
After today I'll care.
After today we'll give it a run.

After today and after today.
After today is all you can say.
After next month comes to play.
But it magically is still after today.

Are you an after today user? Does that make you an after today abuser? Or would that be a time abuser? Maybe a tomorrow amuser? Can you amuse tomorrow? Maybe time you wish to borrow? Sorry, can't have my watch. Continue to suck back the scotch. After today you may end your liver. After today you may want to be a forgiver. After today it may be too late as you're feeding the grass. After today a post will once again show from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Easy Like Takes A Hike!

This will be an easy post. I have it on good authority at our coast. Whose authority? Beats me. I think it came from some bird in a tree. Or maybe a message to me in my pee. Which is the better version to thee?

Easy is as easy does.
Easy comes just because.
Say it once, say it twice.
Be a dunce, pay the price.

If you love or if you like,
It becomes an easy hike.
Compare the task with another.
Suddenly you're one smart mother.

Take that mother as you will.
One way or another it fits the bill.
How it fits we still don't know.
So stop asking two days in a row.

How to stop before you start?
We've already taken to heart.
So how to stop after you start.
That is what needs to be taken apart.

It's easy to do for one and all.
There is the writing on the wall.
Close the stall and use the toilet.
There you go, words to foil it.

Just don't call or you'll find regret.
Or maybe some needs will be met.
Just watch out for an STD.
I hear those things stick with thee.

Easy like a worm to a bird.
Easy like saying your first word.
Easy like jumping from a bridge.
They stick easily more than a smidge.

Google easily denied that word.
They think it rather wrong and absurd.
But if I type it, does it apply?
I can easily let smidge fly.

We could also go back to the pigeon.
Then we could adapt it with smidgen.
It is easy like hamburgers to a large guy.
It is easy like answering a kid's why why why.

You have easily finished this rhyme.
It has easily taken up your time.
Or maybe it has taken down your time.
Either way, the clock easily gave a chime.

Wasn't that easy like whatever? Are you an it will be easy like kind of person with each endeavor? Do you compare before you even know? That is easy like easy like at any show. Did you get that? The cat easily chewed some repeat fat. Now I will easily pass some gas. You can compare yours easily to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Whoopdi Star From Afar!

Robbie Raisin is back. After all that syndication we are right on track. Now I can make one a star. They will be cheered from near and far. Let's see who will get their start on Whoopdi Friggin Doo. It could be you.

Who wants to go first? Tabbies, is your stardom about to burst?

orlin N cassie...cranberreez guyz, we waz hopin ta see sum oh yur...itz all in de mindz eye art gal o ree werk.... heer....☺☺♥♥

Some of litter art? Hank, please give us your best before they start.

#1

Are you still on that old thing? Birgit, care to show us how to rake in the bling?

If I screw in the sand
it's not just toes that get up in my land.
Itchy and Scratchy is all that comes to pass
drawing lines? I'm too busy getting sand out of my ass

Wow, now you may have something there. Sandra Cox, care to share?

Actually, I like that idea;)

Score a Birgit ass sand fan. Adam, are you the movie man?

Not #1

Are you lost or do you want some of Birgit's sand to be tossed? Joanne, what should be the cost?

indeed, I am very structured, so much depends on time
one false move and a day can be blown

Now you want the sand to blow? Robyn, are you bring sand in tow?

What others say,
I don't obey.
I stray, cuz
I'm not gonna play that way.

So you want to use it your own way? Blue, you always have something to say.

Who is THEY
At your THEY SAY bay...
Could it be US
Catching a bus?
Could it be WE
In the place to be?
I'm so confused
Just mentally abused
I might need a pill
Beats getting the bill HA!
Anyway, they say a lot 
At the Kitty Cat spot.

You we can't market to the masses. Alex, do you think Blue needs to teach new classes?

That's someone who needs some good mental drugs.

You heard it on Whoopdi Friggin Doo first. Rosey, anything to share before you burst?

I just found out that the 80-something year old lady in my condo unit was a nudist in her youth. Color me shocked, lol, she seems so proper! Ya' think ya' know a person. ;)

Damn, you could have a reality show there. Silver Fox, what do you want made aware?

And let's not even talk about the tendency for people to go out in public wearing pajama pants. As Bill Maher, said, "Americans would go out wearing a diaper if they could get away with it." And maybe someday soon, they'll be able to do just that.

At least you'd know who's full of shit. Theresa, care to add to it?

if I can't get it at the second hand store, I won't be wearing it. So, I guess that could potentially make me a nudist in the future?

Wow, you want second hand diapers to wear? Belva, do you have any to spare?

Let the waters come, oh hell
Clear and crystal as a bell
Interlopers and the squatter
Move heaven or hell and the water

So you just go wherever you are? Brian, let's get back to being a star.

Some humans have the drive to drive us nuts!

Can you show us which ones? Truedessa, do they give you the runs?

I guess I can be wordy some days
It depends on what I have to say...

We weren't talking about the mouth runs. L. Diane Wolfe, know any good puns?

Be funny to see a camel loaded down with drinking straws. LOL

Whatever amuses the masses. Bijoux, how would you describe our candidate classes?

These people make me shut down and go into sleep mode.

Harsh, but our viewers take top priority here. Mary Kirkland, anything to say as the end draws near?

I know a few that love to go on and on about the same subject and same the same thing 100 different ways.

Can you point out the few? Fundy Blue, hurry, we only have a second or two.

Our little hotel's internet was done in yesterday. We had bad thunderstorms, torrential rain, and flooding. The electricity went out, which took out our internet. The power came back on quickly, but we didn't get internet until late this morning. That's what I get for grousing about having to get in the water ~ LOL Now my comment is done!

She talked right through the commercial break. Our advertisers may do a double take. We should have had her go first. But then our time may burst. But that is all and all and all, is she truly done at her hall? I guess so. That is all for today's Whoopdi Friggin Doo show.

**********************
You sure gave it a go. Who knew so many bloggers wanted to be in the know. Stars of their own show. I suppose it could bring in lots of dough. Fundy Blue may need a full five hours. She sure has the comment powers. Feel free to give Robbie Raisin sass. Blame him and not my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Forward From Back Gets Some Flack!

This post will thrill. It fits the bill. How does it fit? I don't know that shit. You humans say such stuff. We don't have time to make fun of the fluff. Or make fun of the time. For the past must be given a chime. Yeah, it just must. Warning. May be dull like rust.

Here is our story.
From whatever to glory.
You've read and seen.
You know what I mean.

At least I hope.
If not, elope.
I hear it's fun.
Elvis will give you a run.

The fake one.
They are fun.
Pick one and go.
Enjoy that Vegas glow.

Now where was I?
Oh yes, giving this a try.
Here is our story.
Zombie feet may be gory.

But this goes back.
Back, back, back at our shack.
Back before a shack.
Back before a pack.

It combines the two.
Both here just for you.
What two is that?
Why the backstory of our blogmat.

Here it is.
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Damn, that's wrong.
Blame dear old Donkey Kong.

The one with no ass crack.
I guess number two he does lack.
Maybe number one too.
Unless it's one tiny view.

I hear that chime.
It's near the end of our rhyme.
That means it's backstory time.
We'll say a little more than a mime.

Here is the backstory.
Told in all it's glory.
What came before our lair?
Why there was lots of...wait for it....wait for it...air!

Wasn't that the greatest backstory ever? Don't you want to create a backstory endeavor? Don't you want to do it and beat a dead horse? At least I hope you show the horse some remorse. Ever see backstories that were as pointless as can be? We've seen one or three. But at least you now know what came to pass. There was air that didn't come out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.