Pat Hatt's Blog, page 18

The Glitch Dwell For A Spell!

Not going all Halloween Nazi with her voodoo. She can take her spells and go boo hoo. Or maybe boo boo? Both sound rather kiddie of you. That could be a glitch. Does it make you itch?

Whether mate or batter,
What does it matter?
When it comes to switches,
There will always be glitches.

A swing and a miss.
That sure ain't bliss.
My use of ain't.
Some may faint.

Or just stare.
Or maybe glare.
Or maybe both.
That shows growth.

Growth of a wrinkle.
Not down where you tinkle.
Hey, it rhymed.
A glitch that's timed.

The timing was on.
The glitch ain't gone.
Ain't and timing.
At least I'm not rhyming.

Or talking about the weather.
Hey, brings all together.
Maybe that's why I'm apart.
There's no weather in my heart.

Hmm a post there.
The weather to care.
Or maybe just stare.
Are we going with glare?

Off topic a bit.
Bah, I can handle it.
Handle without touching.
That could be hard muching.

Muching to suching.
A nerve I'm touching.
Touching without reaching.
Do you get what I'm teaching?

Or maybe what's taught.
For I hit the spot.
Hit without hitting.
Like standing while sitting.

Did you catch that? A glitch or three by the cat. Does the cat dwell? Nah, he just gives a what the hell. Or if kids are around he uses heck. Have many a thing in our deck. Of course it may slip. Whoops, a glitch trip. Still no worry here. No need to peer. Another for glare and stare. When glitches happen do you care? Do you dwell and dwell and dwell? So you fell. Get up after a quick roll in the grass. It works wonders for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Not Really Embrace Of The Race!

There is a race going on. One that has to start at the crack of dawn. If dawn even has a crack. But we did that at our shack. We did a race or two too. Damn, what are we to do?

Catsetory.com has it all.You'll now stand tall.Tall and fat and wide.In your blah blah blah take pride.
Damn, wrong channel.Next I'll be selling flannel. Flannel with a little cat hair.Could be a hit at my lair.
Hmm, the idea stuck.Come and spend a buck.Buy it now now now.It will really wow.
Sorry, can't ship yet.Don't blame this pet.You ordered the thing.You'll get it long after the cha-ching.
I just wanted to sell.Sell and be ever swell.You bought and I win.That sure isn't a sin.
Go do yoga and stay calm.Come on, move that palm.Now bend that tush.Breath in and push.
Hmm mixed up there?Damn that cat hair.It got in your face.But continue the yoga race.
Do Warrior Three.Faster, faster for me.I have to beat thee.I beat you to Tree.
Let's watch the movie soon.Let's watch it at noon.You and I in the same spot.We'll sit on the same cot.
I'm watching it faster.You're slower than drying plaster.Does plaster even dry?Bah, I won the race on the first try.
Do you race when there is no race? Do you watch a movie faster with any embrace? Can that actually be done? Fast forward doesn't actually count as watching what's spun. Doesn't yoga and race kinda not mix? Is that an oxymoron playing tricks? I'll let you humans race the stupid things that come to pass. So much better just to relax my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Bubble Of First Just May Burst!

The cat is the first to do this rhyme. Maybe another will do it sometime. Heck, maybe I'll remake it one day. Yeah, and I'll become a rhyming dog that always wants to play.

First out of the gate.
A fine horse racing fate.
But still may not matter.
Especially if your horse is fatter.

Just had to say it.
It popped in for bit.
And so it shall flow.
I may be the first, you know.

First is the best.
It beats all the rest.
No one ever won coming latter.
Who wants to be the second batter?

That's latter not later.
Don't be some kind of rater.
But if you must quench such thirst,
You could be some kind of first.

The kind is up to you.
The some comes with it too.
That is just so you know.
Must reap what you sow.

Sew me a line.
Works for the feline.
A cheat rhyme and word play.
I'll get damned to Hell today.

Won't be the first time.
My, that's just a crime.
But would it be worse than first?
Depends on the outburst.

Now we've got it.
First is always a hit.
Damn, were still wrong.
I need a search engine to play along.

Google, the biggest and best.
Didn't come first with its zest.
Amazon the store for one and all.
Sorry, wasn't in at first call.

Farcebook getting social with media and stuff.
Whoops, wasn't first to show such fluff.
First may just make you smart and poor.
Don't you just want that forevermore?

Doesn't always pay to be first out of the gate. Have you ever wanted to be first and found the same fate? First left you in second's dust? Or maybe in 50th people trust. You just never know what place will strike. Hey, if it is a blatant rip off a lawsuit can take a hike. That's take a hike in and not out. What was that about? Yeah, you aren't the first to ask that of my sass. And you probably won't be the last when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Time To Get Ready And Bring Along Steady!

I will time this at a steady pace. I can do it even with a one hand embrace. Been doing so for years, so it is rather simple. Kinda like making a dimple. Hey, it rhymed. Smile and prove what I chimed.

Fast and faster.
Holes in plaster.
Missing a link.
No time to think.

Thought and done.
Nope, wasn't spun.
Missed and missed.
No time for a list.

That's kinda fast.
Or so says last.
A pat on the back.
First they do lack.

So comes the slow.
That much you know.
Then you get ready.
Next comes the steady.

Now mix and match.
A duo you can hatch.
Take things that way.
Slow and steady at play.

It's surely be said.
Spoken and fed.
A giant that's sleeping.
In your head it goes creeping.

I'll get it done.
I'll make it spun.
I'll have it there.
In by a hair.

Or hare if you're a rabbit.
Don't make this a habit.
Stay on track and on pace.
Slow and steady you embrace.

Let the weeks tick.
Let the months stick.
Let the years flow.
Slow and steady I crow.

A duo that lost.
One has been tossed.
Slow forgot about steady.
You're dead and not ready.

Do you ever use the slow and steady as an excuse at your sea? I've heard it said many a time to me. But then they forget the steady part. They only take slow to heart. Then slow turns to never and they whine when they never finished their endeavor. Maybe the steady part has a part to play? That may be why the two things they say. Hey, I just wanted to point that out with this pass. Steady may give slow the shaft when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Drive To Worse May Bring A Curse!

The cat doesn't even have to leave the house. It can even be seen by the beady eyes of a mouse. There are many human drivers that suck. Doesn't matter if they are driving car, tank, or truck.

Idiots here, Idiots there.
I'm a cat, so I don't care.
But you sit and you swear.
You may even pull out a death glare.

A finger may flip.
You may run your lip.
Or lips if you have two.
Or you may sit and stew.

Stir that pot nice.
Throw in some spice.
How'd we get to cooking?
Sorry, we can't take your booking.

Now that that's clear,
We'll get back to your peer.
That is glance for those slow.
Wait! Glare, just so you know.

They are the worst.
You're about to burst.
Drivers behind and in front suck.
Those side ones drive like some fluck.

They are all it.
Here I sputter and spit.
All are the worst.
I really may burst.

A repeat in rhyme.
A spit and sputter time.
A repeat of that.
Chew the same fat.

Must sure be tender.
Does it have a gender?
Don't sit there and choke.
Still no bookings there, bloke.

Are you saying it's me?
I'm making things bad for thee?
I'm the worst at my sea?
My, you're on quite the spree.

Now what about you?
What did you just do?
Can you point to a driver that's better?
Oh, you'd rather write a hate-filled letter.

Have you ever noticed that? You humans sure can throw a spat. Yes, there are many bad drivers out there worse than you, but have you ever picked out the better ones in your view? Or do you just focus on the bad? Hmm is there a deeper meaning to be had? The cat will let you think that up in mass. I'll now go back to watching the cars zoom by the house of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Prove It Where You Sit!

Are you ready to prove things today? Seems many a human declare it at their bay. We only thought the tiny humans did it. Turns out, the big ones use it for a fit. Pffft says the cat. Pelt them with scat.

When it comes to ideas I have quite a few.
No, I will not sit here and prove it to you.
Don't choke on your phlegm or that snot.
Both are probably from the same lot.

Probably comes with a whole can of worms.
That too can mean a few different terms.
But probably has so many different things.
Things sure tops it with many a flings.

A word can fling if you shout it out.
Don't sit there and think all about.
Now I have you in quite the mood.
With my lost it, you may feel quite nude.

Nude well clothed may be hard to swallow.
That too could turn out rather hollow.
But if it has heft and a distance to go,
Make sure you add ketchup or mustard or crow.

That last is more my wishful thinking each day.
Do I think? Hey, don't interrupt what I say.
Saying and thinking are two separate words.
Both get used as one though by brain dead turds.

Why I'm not stopping and still going on,
Could be because you are into a con.
Not short or long but kinda in the middle.
Hey, maybe you can stop there for a diddle.

Things could come and probably go.
Now the pair are together in tow.
A probably thing went out for a fling.
Together they thought maybe a dingaling.

Probably had a very long and hard day.
Things took that a whole other way.
Together they took and together they gave.
Probably things were done in a dark cave.

Now you've come to the final notation.
Or could it be that we have one more location.
That wasn't a question, just so you know.
Unlike, are you still stuck way back on the crow?

Now I really must hit delete or abort.
Either or may bring forth a final report.
By not doing or erasing I created today.
My, look what happens when ideas come to play.

Did you see the many ideas in there? Did it spur any at your lair? Some nut wanted me to prove I have ideas in my head. Yeah, they are rather brain dead. I don't need to prove it to anyone at all, but this post sure wanted to fly out here at our hall. So did you make sense of my little old sass? If no then it's just another day visiting my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Love In The Sky So Buy Buy Bye!

The cat loves this day. It is sooooo lovable at every bay. I know you believe every word I type. I just love all the hype. And if you believe any of that, you are clearly new to the blog of the cat.

Here we go.
Love to show.
Spread the love.
Free a dove.

Imprison first.
Quench that thirst.
Then release.
Try it with geese.

Whoops, lost an eye.
Oh me, oh my.
That is bad.
Can't love you, lad.

See ya never,
Says love's endeavor.
Whoops times two.
Blind and no love that's true.

But you got geese.
That beats fleece.
Although you may need some.
Time for another chum.

Buy buy buy.
Look at those flowers fly.
They last for days.
Then comes the death gaze.

Your thought died.
Your other cried.
Tears she sure shed.
You slipped and hit your head.

There goes eye two.
Love is blind to you.
Wait. Isn't that good?
Nope, bye bye at your hood.

Hit others with your stick.
You need that candy brick.
You grab and you rip.
Then, whoops, you trip.

Your lover let's you fall.
You're laughed at by all.
Then the candy stand falls on your head.
Buy, buy, bye, you are now dead.

Isn't love grand? You buy and do stupid shit across the land. All rather worthless in the end. The though that counts kinda trend? Bah, since when are doves pooping in a cage until you release great thoughts? So today candy is to be bought lots? As opposed to any other day that you can give it to a loved one at your bay? Give them teeth and gut rot. Yep, that is a mighty fine counting thought. Damn, the cat sure loved poking fun at you human mass. You always give plenty of material to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Slow Advance Has No High Chance!

The want to see and do can sure be out there to view. Movies just make crap up and let you fill your visual cup. But you want it now. You want things to wow. Whoops, screwed. Not sorry for the attitude.

Wake up today.
A surprise came your way.
You can now teleport.
It's right there on the news report.

Damn, that's grand.
Give me your hand.
Let's get reconstituted together.
Let's hope it we can weather.

But there is more.
Robots are out there galore.
They have replaced one and all.
They are plastered down every hall.

They teach and sing.
They sell the bling.
They shoot you in the head.
Skynet wants you dead.

The flying car.
It's not far.
As in it's today.
It came to play.

It flew and flew.
So come, buy two.
Maybe even three.
It is driverless just for thee.

The cure for everything.
It will make you sing.
Sing for your supper.
It is such an upper.

High on life.
For man and wife.
Or wife and man.
Forget how that ran.

Today a new tire took form.
The same as the norm.
Just a little more round.
It can easily be found.

Bah, back to teleportation.
Who needs safer transportation?
We can just zap and go.
Make one ho ho ho.

Do you expect things to magically appear overnight? And I'm a reindeer that can take flight. No surprises, mostly, will ever show with advancement anywhere. It will slowly creep out at some lair. Then creep out more and update at one's shore. Even your phone was once as big as a brick. Slowly got smaller to give the buttons a click. Notice it now big time, but not when slowly updating to a new chime. Slowly it shall come to pass. Guess I'll have to wait a few 100 years for them to teleport my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Hotline For You Here In View!

Are you ready for it? It is really the shit. It proves you are full of it. Yeah, like the already said shit. Geez, said that twice in a row. That is a no no. Bah! A crisis is in view. Umm...errr...time two!

Today was bad.
Today was had.
Stuff was done.
It was not fun.

I stubbed my toe.
That gets an oh no.
I need a hotline.
My toe isn't fine.

It's a crisis for me.
One that's easy to see.
Hello! Hello!
I ate bad jello.

It's a crisis I tell you.
It is soooo bad at our zoo.
Whoops, I meant mine.
I am single on the line.

That is awful too.
It just won't do.
A crisis of one.
What can be done?

Hello? Are you there?
Do you want me to swear?
I need you to give a fluck.
I was almost, sorta, maybe hit by a truck.

That was sooo bad.
No fun was surely had.
It is a crisis more than a tad.
Can't you tell that I'm really mad?

You hung up?
I spilled my cup.
It just released air.
A full blown crisis at my lair.

Did you catch that?
Didn't get my innuendo where I'm at?
Wait. Was it a pun?
Bah, a crisis in my fun.

What can I do?
I'm having more than a few.
Hello? Hello? Are you gone?
A blade of grass is out of place on my lawn.

Now isn't that a crisis or ten? Do you have such a crisis or three at your den? Do you ever use it when it is not? Some sure give it a go a lot. Sorry, a popped balloon isn't a crisis one bit. But you can dial 999 We Don't Give A Shit. Same goes for a crooked blade of grass. It isn't even a crisis, although maybe close, when Pat hasn't scooped what came out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Quiz So True That It's For You!

The cat has seen a few of these pop up. They sure could give one many a hiccup. They hide behind some nicey nice theme and then people fall for them on many a stream. What are they? Just sit and play.

First thing's first.
From best to worst.
Name this and that.
We want a stat.

Harmless for you.
So pick a few.
It's grand for me.
We'll know what ads to show thee.

Pick me! Pick me!
Let your friends see.
They want to know that you're a blank.
From unicorn to Star Wars character to tank.

What kind are you?
Just answer a few.
We'll surely tell.
Forget that you'll end up in ad hell.

There's no such place.
Fill in each space.
You're a super duper tanker.
Now no one will call you a wanker.

We've got you sucked.
Good and flucked.
So dig a little deeper.
Our happy faces make us not a creeper.

What's your middle name?
What's your claim to fame?
What's your mother's maiden name?
Who in life gets the blame?

What's your favorite food?
Tell your best moment and don't be rude.
What's your best skill?
Come on, this won't auto fill.

Where did you go to school?
First pet's name, you fool.
Put it in and show us all.
A few more things before we stall.

What's your...that's it.
We cracked that shit.
Your accounts are all ours now.
Thanks, and don't have a cow.

Have you ever seen any of those? They give a fake quiz pose. They ask questions that are meaningless as crap. They then add in some personal stuff about each lass or chap. They then use that for security question answers and password guessing. All from you doing a quiz or whatever and confessing. Don't you want to answer more quizzes today? You could be just like washed up celebrity of the week at your bay. Trust me, you're better off and safer sucking on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.