Pat Hatt's Blog, page 15

The Way Out Isn't A Slippery Trout!

The cat has and many more have to. Heck, all alive has probably had it in view. But did you go all trout? What is that about? Slipping away will just make it stay.

Life has crap.
Each lass and chap.
Crapped on there.
Crapped on everywhere.

A closing of walls.
Shortening of halls.
Surrounding you.
What do you do?

Find the way out.
Slip away like a trout?
Figure out what it's about?
Find the way out.

What is the way?
From crap to okay.
How is it done?
Where is the fun?

A secret to crap.
Pull off this trap.
I have to know.
I can't even see my toe.

Buried to the head.
I'd rather be dead.
Exaggeration a bit.
But look at this shit.

Piles and piles.
Buried with files.
Or would that be flies?
Can't see any clear skies.

Where's the exit?
Must I hex it?
I slipped out today,
But it's still on display.

Does life hate me?
What did I do to thee?
Poor this and that.
I'm only another stat.

How do I get out?
I've tried to slip through like a trout.
Did you just give a clue?
The only way out is through.

Ever try to ignore or slip away when crap comes to play? Can sure not make for a very nice day. Can't sneak around it or ignore it many a time. Have to deal with it like an annoying mime. Of course it may be easier to punch a mime, then again, that's probably a crime. But most of the time the only way out of the crap is to push on through until you finish the lap. Then you'll learn for the next crap that comes to pass. No good to run and give it sass. Of course the crap just could be gas. I'll check if any needs to be passed out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

The Order Of Life To Scare Away Strife!

This is how this post is supposed to be. Today it was destined to come to thee. It just was supposed to be that way. These words just wanted to have their say. So out they came from the cat. What do you think of that?

Pop! You're born.
Okay, I'm torn.
Is it more of a scream?
We'll forget that stream.

Then you cry.
Then you die.
Hey, diddle, diddle.
I skipped the middle.

The diddle brought you.
I guess I skipped that too.
Hmm forwards and back.
Time travel at my shack.

Then you grow.
That you know.
Learn stuff too.
My, look at you.

Think you know it all.
Go to the mall.
Because it's cool.
Hey, don't skip school.

Out to life.
Free from strife.
School or work.
Student or clerk.

Seek and mate.
Then try and date.
Marry and mate.
Pop! After a 9 month wait.

Pop! Comes plenty.
Hopefully not twenty.
A cult isn't needed.
Snip snip should be heeded.

Raise and work.
Work not a perk.
Out goes the kids.
Take retirement bids.

Move to sun and sand.
Florida type land.
The grandkids wave.
Next step, your grave.

There you are. The order to life on par. Don't you love the order set? I didn't even throw in get a pet. That is a given though. Did you follow the order at your show? Is that a no? Wow, society must shame you. You did something different unlike more than a few. It just can't be that way. The horror at such an off play. You may now give all the stick up their butt types gas. I guess I'm just an out of order little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Buyer Fire Of The Liar!

Some would whine and say their bad. Others go nuts and find them not rad. Out to screw you in the end. That sure is a big trend. And no, not screw in a fun way. Hookers are what you want if that is your foray.

Time to buy.
That car is mine.
I won't tell a lie.
My credit is fine.

I make a ton.
I make it best.
Let's get it done.
I'm better than the rest.

Do you need this?
Do you need that?
Can this we miss?
What is this scat?

Okay, I'll fill it.
Fill it out later.
But I'm a hit.
Oops, fell in a crater.

Can't finance a go-kart.
But shhh don't tell.
I took spending to heart.
Those bill collectors can go to hell.

I'm sure I can pay.
Can't you try another.
At the end of the day,
I may just ask my mother.

She'll finance for me.
She has great credit.
I'll drive for free.
Did you see that story on Reddit?

Maybe co-sign is best.
That could get me there.
Then I wouldn't be such a pest.
She'd never see me sticking it to her lair.

Interest that high?
That's a rip off.
That sure won't fly.
To that I scoff.

I did nothing wrong.
Just didn't pay a bill.
I'll get credit in Hong Kong.
Yep, with my great job I will.

Are you one of those deluded nuts? They sure talk out their butts. And people say car salesmen are bad. Pfffft the buyers are crazier than a whole loony bin pad. They lie and think all is dandy. Maybe they had one too many a spiked Halloween candy. Pat dealt with many of those nuts. They talk out their butts. Did I say that times two? Sadly it is true. They really can go pound sand in mass. That's the ode to them from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Perfect Stance? Fat Chance!

The cat was going this way and that and then I was accosted by Pat. He wanted me to pose. I guess he has reached new lows. But then he did not specify, so I let many fly.


What do you want?Must you and that flashy thing taunt?Go bother Cass.She's a posing lass.

The cranky wake up.See? Fill your cup.I won't fall for your trap.I have to go get into crap.

Hmm. What's behind here.Yeah, look at my rear.That is all you shall see.Time to flee.

Oh, I got an itch.Those can be a bitch.Look at my foot go.Enjoying the show?

I'll knock down your clothes.That ought to bring woes.Hmmm maybe the water thing.I could give that a fling.

Not looking at you.Nope. Not getting a view.Are you still there?Yep, I'm aware.

Go away!Hear what I say.Stop snapping the picsThat's one too many clicks.

I'll jump on your head.That will put it to bed.Would you like to see that?Go bother another cat.

Got my eye on you.Are we through?You sure don't listen well.This flashy thing isn't swell.

Are you happy now?I posed somehow,You got it out of me.I will get back at thee.
Ever get followed around by a camera nut? Pat sure was in a rut. He snapped and snapped away. I just wanted to play. Like make a big mess. More or less. But I couldn't do that with him on my butt. So I ended his rut. At least first I gave him plenty of sass. That always works well for me little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Little Could In The Hood!

The what if or what could or what ever comes to all. Although some go on and on and on about it at their hall. Then their what could turns to, Goodbye! All their what could-ing got nothing done and then they die.

A what could.
Is understood.
Likely or not.
Adds to the plot.

Stuck in motion.
Unlike the ocean.
No waves in and out.
Just a dead trout.

But there's no lack.
Sharp as a tack,
With the what could.
Maybe what would.

The could and would.
A hand in hand hood.
A hood that leads nowhere,
Unless acting on the pair.

What could if I...
Ends on the fly.
Nothing happens after.
Maybe hiding laziness in laughter.

The what could goes on.
A what would may dawn.
Many options come to be.
They grow out like a tree.

Damn, went nowhere.
But you developed a stare.
A stare that will go far.
Like maybe to the corner bar.

What could happen there?
Sit in your favorite chair.
Search for the what will.
Maybe something fits the bill.

Wow, what will is dirty.
It may get a little flirty.
What could leaves life,
With no life or strife.

So back to what could.
It is easily understood.
Can just think and chill.
So much easier than what will.

Are you stuck in the what could? Have you moved up to the what would? Hopefully you got passed the would and are on will. That is a much better climb even if it's a hill. Beats sitting on ground with a growing rump, doing nothing but what could and grump. More what will in a singing bass than some humans give a pass. But I guess they like their what could class. I will stick to what will-ing along with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Guest Err Umm Pest!

The cat whacks intruders when they come to play, except the old guy when in he does stray. Pat makes me leave him be. But then this isn't about me. We did that yesterday. Now it is about others who stray.

Hello all!
Where are you?
Down the hall?
In the loo?

I'm here.
I'll shout it clear.
Never fear.
I'll remain near.

I wish I knew.
Where did you go?
It can't be true.
You think me a foe?

I'm your friend.
I'm the best.
That we must amend.
After all, I'm your guest.

Shouldn't you be here?
Where are you?
I know you're near.
I'm turning blue.

That means I'm mad.
I want to see you.
I just entered your pad.
Come into my view.

I may block some.
I may stand tall.
I may be a thin chum.
I may shrink before all.

But I'm here.
I'm here to see.
I'm always near.
Come out to greet me.

I'll sit here.
Here I'll sit.
I know you're near.
Don't give me a fit.

Oh, there you are.
Out shopping I see.
My grocery bill is on par.
Oh...is that for me?

Would that be a guest or a pest? We'd toss them in the sea at no one's behest. We just would. Have any such "guests" at your hood? We've known a few but we stay out of their view. Otherwise we may be in jail because we'd chuck them out the window without fail. Or they may go through and break the glass. Yeah, to such guests, I'm not a nice little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Believe In The Cat Where You Are At!

Wherever you are, believe my sand bar. Why is that? Because I am a rhyming cat. Because I'm rhyming for you. Because I'm not spiky haired like Blue. Because...oh just because it's on the internet. That is always a safe bet.

An uber secret is here.
I discovered it in an ear.
It was moving right along.
I heard its merry song.

It wants to infect you all.
The short, fat, and tall.
The dead it didn't say.
That could go either way.

It has fangs and claws.
It doesn't obey laws.
It wants to suck your life.
Nope, not vampire strife.

It sucks your thoughts away.
It eats them ten times a day.
Then it and another mate.
You ideas open the flood gate.

They bang and flop.
Now 50,000 more drop.
In the blink of an eye.
Damn, they sure are spry.

Now they have you.
Your whole body is stew.
No clear thoughts for you.
If you even had a few.

Stuck like a stone.
They'll never leave you alone.
You are their host.
They won't even let you post.

They eat your very words.
They'll eat tweets from birds.
Soon all around you will be blank.
You are their gas tank.

They have you full up.
They even got the pup.
Your whole house is infected.
Nope, they can't be detected.

You are theirs forever.
Unless one is clever.
Their weakness is...we don't know.
I bet you could figure it out though.

Do you believe the cat? What can they be that are in you where you are at? Could they be alien gunk? Can gunk hump in a funk? That may be bad. But here it is at my pad. It's on the internet so it is true. Believe everything you see in view? Thanks, now you can believe my pass. I'll never let them invade my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Hit The Street And Treat And Treat And Treat!

The ands sure are piling up these days. I guess humans like their forever maze. That and spending their money. Not the kind that is funny. For belief they take. Or the easy way out they think they make. What is that? Follow the cat.

An issue is had.
Can drive one mad.
From ass to back.
In issues pack.

Can't move or do.
That isn't true.
Believe the nuts.
They talk out their butts.

This pill will do.
If it gets worse, take two.
May cause...we did that.
Not going to be a repeat cat.

But that's not all.
Read the flyer on the wall.
We can help.
We'll fix your yelp.

Come in and get treated.
No lollipop, but it will be defeated.
And by that we mean after a while.
And by that we mean when you smell vile.

You have to keep coming back.
This will always give you flack.
But we can make you feel better.
You will never have to write a letter.

Unless you want to hype us up.
Then go ahead and fill your cup.
We'll treat you for life.
Or at least until I retire with my wife.

Then you're on your own.
But don't be afraid to pick up the phone.
We will treat and treat and treat.
You can still sit at home and eat.

Doesn't that sound like a deal?
Bah, forget the word heal.
That isn't ever the case.
We can say it with a straight face.

Treatment is what you need.
We will treat and treat at your feed.
Well as long as you have the dough.
When you run out, we'll wave bye as you go.

Don't you love those that want you to come back and back and back? That is how they wallet attack. Treatment and never heal. Can't have that in the deal. If that came due, you would never come back. But people fall for it as they think there is some "magic" they themselves lack. Many of them have their place. But watch that smug smile on their face. You can then choose never to trespass. Or tell them to suck on the gas like the kind from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

We Have A Connection To Such And Such And Such An Election!

The cat never surely knew. We have a connection to something that's big, hairy, red, and blue. Now that is surely grand. It changes everything...err ummm...yeah right in our land.

We see and shake.
We do a triple take.
We search and search.
You rang, says Lurch.

I've said it too.
Copyright at my zoo?
Damn any of that.
Can't sue a cat.

Back on rhyme.
We left for a time.
A time you can't tell.
Could raise some hell.

The party or nutball kind.
Both annoy my behind.
But that's nothing new.
It's something dumb humans do.

Back to the start.
He took it to heart.
Poor guy went and cried.
He bummed a car ride.

Did his bum do the ringing?
Do farts end up singing?
Do we want to know?
The odds are probably low.

The car sent things in the air.
Like pollution that's not very rare.
The wind blew it near.
Woweee, it connected to my rhyming rear.

I feel so special now.
I just want to meow.
The connection came due.
It just can't be true.

My mind is a mess.
More and not less.
I just can't believe it.
I'm about to have a fit.

The guy won a shoe store election.
Now that is quite the connection.
I feel so honored that I found it.
On second thought, I don't give a shit.

Do you scour everything and anything for a connection to something out there? Or maybe someone at your lair? Does it make you any different in the end? Or are you just a crazy nut that's gone around the bend? Whoopi, you are connected to someone's car that gave off gas. Yeah, that will truly impress, not really, my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Link For You Or Maybe Two!

The cat loves when humans come to gawk. Five seconds and then they take a walk. Right to the contact page. They want to offer the cat a wage. Better off with kitty litter. Or bothering some nut on Twitter.

We've come and saw.
We like your paw.
We like your rhyme.
Ten seconds at a time.

So here we are.
We sure aren't far.
But we want to be near.
We want to be part of your rhyming rear.

Could you say rear?
Ass is hard to hear.
It may send customers away.
Just something we had to say.

As for our offer.
We aren't a cougher.
One of those guys spamming.
There will be no rambling jamming.

We would like a post at your sea.
I'm sure many of your readers would love it to come to be.
It can be on anything at all.
We have an army of writers at our hall.

We'll give you two premium backlinks on our site.
That will instantly take flight.
We'll also promote the page.
We could even give you a wage.

Just let us know what you'd like.
Then we can surely strike.
It will be a great deal to all.
We really think we deserve a spot on your wall.

So get back to us soon.
Like before high noon.
We'd love to hear your thoughts.
I'm sure you have lots.

....two days pass by.
We didn't hear from you, why?
Don't you want our deal?
We swear that is is real.

We'd love to set up a chat.
We could just chew the fat.
We know you'll love every bit.
After all, our army of 0.05 cents per word writers wrote it.

Do you ever get any of those emailing you? We've gotten quite a few. One even asked us not to end with ass. Pfffffffffffffffft like that will ever come to pass. Delete is all they get from me. On them we'd biff some pee. It does clump, you know. I'd rather let mutts run our show. But hey, they were good for some sass. That is always fun for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.