Pat Hatt's Blog, page 19

The Sense Shows The Dense!

The cat shakes his head day by day. The humans sure do stupid things from whenever to May. That is every day, if you didn't guess. I can confuse, I confess. Now on with the show. The dumb have to go do something stupid, you know.

Common sense isn't sense.
Do you need extra cents?
I can give about ten.
That's all you get at our den.

Common is squat.
That's said a lot.
Sense is all that remains.
That too boards trains.

Then left with blank.
No gas in the tank.
A dead end street.
A fool in defeat.

No sense is had.
Not good or bad.
Just brain dead acts.
Now there are facts.

No facts to be had.
Damn, that makes nuts mad.
15% of nuts are bad for you.
See? Ass pulled stats at our zoo.

Take it as truth.
Go jump a toll booth.
Can that be done?
Sure it was tried by someone.

But back we go.
A mixing show.
A matching one.
No, the TV wasn't spun.

Some are so slow.
That we sure know.
But some are fast.
Still in the same cast.

So make the switch.
Scratch that itch.
From common sense at play,
To common acts day by day.

That sure is it.
Common acts followed by a fit.
The dumb cry and cry.
The even sit and wonder why.

So is common acts better? Seems to fit to the letter. For stupid things are done a ton. People believe whatever the internet has spun. So it is as common as can be. They are acts done by such nuts at each sea. There are plenty of them out there. Follow the logic at my lair? If not you may be part of the common act class. That could leave you in the cross hairs of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Favorite Stop Sure Not To Flop!

Will a favorite post come due? Is this it at our zoo? Well you just never know. Do you though? Can no and never mix? Do they do weird tricks? Beats the heck out of me. It isn't a favorite of we.

Time to go.
Time to play.
Make a show.
What the hey.

Hey or hay?
Beats little old we.
I like hey.
A favorite of me.

So that is right.
Right all the way.
Like a towing sight.
Tow the line, okay?

Whoops, it's wrong.
But it's a favorite thing.
Toe can't play along.
Send it to fling in spring.

This is the best.
This movie tops all.
It has such zest.
A favorite call.

You hated it?
That can't be.
It is the shit.
You have to agree with me.

Favorite = right.
That is so true.
I mean soooooooooo with spite.
So give it another view.

Show it's the best.
It is top notch.
Say it with zest.
Say it or I'll kick your crotch.

A favorite thing to do.
So it should be allowed.
Don't stick it in view.
I'll make sure you draw a crowd.

Your drawing skills suck.
I have a favorite color scheme.
Yours is like some odd fluck.
Favorite only works in my mind's stream.

Are you one of those? Do you strike a favorite pose? Do you deny all else because it isn't your favorite thing? Know any favorite dingaling? Either or is bad. Just so you know from our pad. At least the dingaling we can push out onto the grass. I'll then hope they step in something from my favorite little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Should I Care At My Lair?

The cat rolls his eyes more than a bit. You humans sure talk about such stupid umm err well shit. The weather is one that we've done before. Over and over and over you talk about that crap at every shore. But what about more? Trust me, it's there galore.

Go out and do.
Run into a few.
A few becomes many.
Can't avoid any.

Always something to say.
Said many a way.
The weather is...who cares.
Rather have blank stares.

My wire is broke.
Like I care, bloke.
My house got hit.
Like I give a umm spit.

My lawn won't grow.
Why do I need to know?
My house is old.
And I need to be told?

My leg hurts a bit.
Maybe stand where you sit.
Or sit where you stand.
Bah, who cares in my land.

My door bell is busted.
In door bells you trusted?
Bah, stop asking.
Can't fall for stupid tasking.

My dog likes to play.
I can see the landmine foray.
My window is scratched.
Add some more so they're batched.

I put this here sign up yesterday.
Their is something about its display.
Yeah, and I just repeated what that something is there.
Did you figure it out with time to spare?

Now I'm doing it.
I added a question bit.
Did you really care?
This is like some strange affair.

I remember you.
Umm good for you.
I even cheat rhymed.
The end has chimed.

Do you avoid certain people who are near? Do you pretend to seem interested when they are bending your ear? The cat starts to back away. I have no time to see that you chopped down a tree at your bay. Woweee, it is impressive though. As impressive as a remake of some old show. That equals nothing at all. Which way did it fall? Ugg, I don't want to know any answer to this question mass. I need to hide under the bed with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Go Figure It Out With This Shout!

The cat will give you math today. That is what you humans say. Or it comes from it. One plus one equals such shit. Did you think I'd say two? Go figure at your zoo.

Time to shine.
Time to win.
Things shall align.
Sure not a sin.

But away you spin.
Away you pluck.
Can't do it in.
What the fluck?

Figures you'd fail.
Figures you'd faint.
So hit the trail.
A winner you ain't.

Bad grammar award.
Did I just win?
I'll have it bronzed and stored.
Eat your heart out Rin Tin Tin.

Not literally though.
Better off eating crap.
Go figure Mr. Crow.
You're such a sap.

Figured that out?
You're up on me.
I have no idea what it's about.
Of course I can lie to thee.

Or maybe lay or laid.
Go figure my shout.
The gutter may trade.
Had to be let out.

Go figure is it.
Or some other shit.
Don't hiss and spit.
Just go figure it.

Add and subtract.
Multiply and divide.
Get in on the act.
Stand and show pride.

Random thoughts pop.
Or they just fade.
So ends this crop.
Go figure the trade.

Did you go figure yet? Are you a user of it and many an other figure set? Go figure, figures, figure it out, figuring things out, and so much more to shout. I figure I'll end there though. I don't want you to figure out things and go. A backwards play. Figuring sure throws one in disarray. Do you have a calculator for life's sass? If not, I figure you'll get plenty from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Forgotten Thing Has A Fling!

Out we go.In we come.Both in tow.A familiar drum.
Things stay in.Things stay out.Lose to win.Win to shout.
Lost in out.Lost in mind.What's that about?What a find.
Something created.Something found.Stand quite elated.Stand quite profound.
Forgot to do.Forgot to say.Both hold true.Both have sway.
Used an old.Old became new.A tale to be told.A new work in view.
New from old.That took place.So stand bold.No need to pace.
Pace the mind.Let it stop.Now you find.Now you top.
Top of the heap.Top of the pile.That same kinda leap.So turn that dial.
Forgotten at last.Remembered at play.A thing of the past.A future type way.

Did you think I forgot which pic to use? That would probably amuse. Nope, just showing that even forgetting can get things done. Or pretend forgetting with my run. So you forget at your sea. So you remember later what had to come to be. Don't fret in the middle. Get in there and fiddle. Or maybe just diddle. Hey, never said which middle. Do you forget and then fret for hours on end? That isn't a good trend. We'll continue on with each pass. So much better for my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Crap From Crap Across The Map!

This will be a real ass opener today. Hmm that sounds so bad to say. We won't go there with this show. Maybe that is how so many heads get up there though. Could be. Right. On with it at our sea.

You feel the urge.
The need to purge.
Oh my...insert curse.
Hey, we've done worse.

We're going there.
A flow with hair.
Unless you shave.
We hear it's the rave.

Smooth as a baby.
Impressive...maybe?
We don't want to know.
But back it will grow.

Where were we?
Right, not the need to pee.
Of course that can come.
Like walking and chewing gum.

So you do.
More than two.
Nope, don't count.
Doesn't matter the amount.

You just do and do.
The point of the loo.
And then it comes.
The addition to bums.

The ass wipe is ready.
You wipe it steady.
You may get it all.
You may not at your hall.

But that's on you.
Or cheap ass wipe too.
But it might be better.
Does that make you a fretter?

Nope, not a word.
But we made it be heard.
Unlike the chemicals in your ass wipe.
There are actually many a type.

Who knew that?
Sure not that cat.
Can lead to health crap for some people too.
My, what are humans to do?

Did you know that? You can poison yourself with what you use to wipe your scat? There is a murder technique for a serial killer in a book. Just be sure and quote my nook. There are actually chemicals in some brands that give people rashes, bladder infections, and the like. For years they wouldn't take a hike. Then they switched the ass wipe and poof, no more rashes of any type. Turns out the sneaky sob companies put stuff in there. Were you aware? Now you are thanks to the cat. Remember that if you get an itchy ass wiping your scat. Don't say the cat never helped you with a rhyme pass. I'm so glad I don't have to wipe what comes out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Make It Clear And Appear!

Can you appear with a poof at your sea? That would like to be seen by me. Or maybe not. I could suffer from eye rot. Depends what one has on. Hey, could poof at the crack of dawn. Since when did dawn get a crack? Is the sun mooning every shack? I guess we better go and make a rhyme appear before we confuse all far and near.

Grab a few beers.
Start the appears.
Maybe blurry sight.
Maybe after midnight.

You may need a nap.
You may be a sap.
Hey, we'll let you choose.
How can you lose?

That's lose not loose.
Don't be a silly goose.
It appears you wanted that.
Damn, I'm a great cat.

It appears I'm whelmed.
That is always helmed.
Get tougher with it.
Come on, work that shit.

It appears you're alive.
Now you've taken a nosedive.
That can't really appear.
Maybe I'm dead with a worm in my ear?

It appears you said that.
Yep, said by the cat.
Come and tell me more.
Let's see if you can continue to bore.

It appears you have fur.
It appears that you can purr.
It appears you have a place to go.
It appears that you aren't a crow.

It appears with no appearing.
That is soooo endearing.
So come on over here.
You can just appear.

It appears you walked in sight.
It appears my appearing is right.
It appears that It didn't appear.
It appears hair people fear.

It appears we're done.
It appears this has been spun.
It appears sure is abundant.
It now appears that it appears is redundant.

Did you appear today? It appears that you have something to say. It appeared below. Magical, I know. It appears you are waiting for a question. It appears you want a suggestion. Have you used it appears before? Does anything ever truly appear at your shore? It appears you got all you need. It appears that a retort can take seed. It now appears that I may appear in glass. I just need to walk by it to appear away my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Time To Cheat The Defeat!

The cat always wins at our sea. Pat gives in to little old me. At least I see it that way. Hmm maybe I'm as bad as humans at play. Nah, that can never be. I have someone to scoop my pee.

Time to play.
Time to shout.
Same old day.
Same old out.

The out of one.
The out of all.
However its spun.
However its call.

You were defeated.
I am the winner.
No, you cheated.
You are a sinner.

You did this.
You did that.
No way I miss.
No way I fall flat.

It was you.
You, the cheater.
Admit it's true.
You never beat her.

Not in that way.
Don't go there.
A rhyme at play.
No need to swear.

Now I cheated?
Pfff to you.
You are defeated.
Go suck on some glue.

I hear it's swell.
That was it?
Damn me to hell?
The glue made me the shit?

Well what do you know.
Not a question for you.
This would be a blank show,
If from a "you cheat" it came due.

I cheated each time?
Damn that time.
I'm cheating this time?
Wow, poor old time.

The last one was real cheating, however fleeting. The other crap is all in your pretty little self-denial head. So go rest it in your winner bed. Are you one of those "you cheated" people when you lose? I hope not or the cat will make it news. Know any of them at your sea? On them we'd chuck cat pee. No need to cheat to beat the human mass. It is far too easy for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Get Some Satisfaction As We Get In On The Action!

The cat is typing today. That is an action at play. But not the kind you humans spout. My, action sure gets thrown out. Ever notice that? You will now thanks to the cat.

The stupid is said.
Stuck in the head?
The go to verse.
Could be worse.

Capturing the shit.
See? A worse hit.
Now back to the show.
Some action on the go.

Hello, folks.
Today I have no jokes.
Today we're going to the golf green.
It is quite the upbeat scene.

Look at those clothes.
Oh, he struck a pose.
Oh, she drank from a straw.
That ought to be against the law.

You heard it here first.
You saw that straw burst.
Don't turn to any other faction.
We are all about capturing the action.

That wasn't action at all?
Pffft don't write that on our wall.
Do you think this is Fast and Furious 59?
I bet I could get a nifty line.

We're capturing the action.
They may all be in traction,
But we are capturing it.
We'll free it in a bit.

What? We're 0 for 2?
Damn, damn, damn you.
And those Fast and Furious movies too.
They make golf look like a stinky loo.

But we are still here.
We are capturing the action without fear.
Oh look, a golf clap.
My, will he ever get out of that sand trap?

She sipped from the straw again.
That is worth watching in pen.
How dare you say we don't capture any action.
Go back to Toretto in traction.

Do you see how action gets thrown around? In golf is any action actually found? If you use it in the actions way, then yeah, they are swinging away. An action is being had. But if you capture people won't the FBI get mad? What if you are capturing nothing at all? What if action packed up and went to the ball? Oh, this action could give a cat gas. I better go may sure I get an equal and opposite reaction from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Splashes And Splishes And A Couple Of Fishes!

Remember this post? Way way way back at our coast. Okay, maybe not so way, but could be in cat years at our bay. You said it should be made into a book. Pat obeyed at our nook. Not the cat. Pffft to that obeying strat. And so comes another one with some splashes and splishes fun.





Click Here For A Peer!
If wishes were fishes and splashes were splishes would splashes be splishes and wishes be fishes? Could splishes be splashes and fishes be flashes with wishes as splishes and splashes as flashes? Or would splashes and splishes make wishes with fishes to stop fishes and wishes for splashes and splishes?
And there we are. Another at our sand bar. Are you ready for splashes and splishes and a couple of fishes? Did you know they make dishes and some sort of wishes? I think that's how it goes. Could cause your tongue woes. Or maybe it will just give you gas. Either way, sure fun to see for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.