Pat Hatt's Blog, page 21

The Gutter Goes Name Ever So Tame!

We are going to visit some businesses today. The cat will take you from bay to bay. They are all real names too. That just makes you want to stop and view. Enjoy each place. I'm sure they have some table space.

Time to travel.
Can't unravel.
Visiting is the goal.
First stop, The Glory Hole.

Now that was fun.
What was done?
Beats little old me.
Call the Threeway Express to take thee.

My, what a trip.
Be sure to leave a good tip.
Then we'll do to Curl Up & Dye.
Damn, you may surely fry.

The next is all yours.
We aren't allowed any tours.
For they don't allow felines.
Enjoy Doggie Style Designs.

I hear they have great selections.
As does Unlimited Erections.
Hmm do they go hand in hand?
Something will sure stand.

Time to go to Booty's Hole of Crabs.
I hear they run tabs.
I could hear wrong.
You may be too busy itching to play along.

Could always go rowing.
But we may need Camel Towing.
Hey, you could get stuck.
They come with a big truck.

While the old couple bickers,
We'll stop at STD Wines & Liquors.
You can drink your cares away.
And kills germs just in case at your bay.

No, we aren't playing Donkey Kong.
Next we are going to A-Dong.
I'll let you discover what's there.
I'm snip snip, so what do I care?

Next we'll fish for some gators.
Have to stop at Master Baiter's.
Then we'll finish with something true.
Fuku Sushi will be on you.

Did you like your trip? Don't you now feel hip? We should go into vacation planning at our sea. No? Geez, how rude of thee. Have you seen any weird company names out and about? Maybe not weird, but dirty when thought out. Or just when spied. Could be taken that way when tried. I'm sure you'll want to write a travel log after your vacation pass, so I'll let you get to it and rest my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Make Tries Not To Break!

Retired people must all be dead. They are ghosts that just need to go in their diaper and get fed. Stay at home parents must be too. Along with the bums in Mommy's basement without a clue. Why do I say that? Just follow the cat.

Stupid questions abound.Like in 5 years where will you be found.Hopefully not hearing such a stupid thing.Whoops, did from my lips that spring?
The background passes.You appease the dumb masses.As in the dumb question shit.While lying maybe more than a bit.
And there you go.A 9-5 in tow.Or whatever the hours.A lackey with no powers.
Aren't you grand?Hey, above the land.That is a win.So take it all in.
You are the living.The 9-5 is giving.So that makes it so.Get $200 for passing go.
A bit of a flip.Let's repeat that trip.Let's repeat it right.You work day and/or night.
So you aren't dead.Above water you tread.Or at least you try.There's light in your eye.
Why is that?Simple and flat.That flat fee your employer is giving.For you are out making a living.
You aren't home making umm death.You aren't taking your last breath.You are making a living.Something to be thankful for at Thanksgiving.
What about the rest?The retired, the bums, the parents, and the pest?They are making their death.They all breathe fake breath.
So what are you doing if you aren't working? Are you death clerking? If not making a living do you die? Some retired folks are rather spry. I guess that doesn't work. What if you aren't making anything while being a Walmart clerk? Not making but getting paid. Is that a fair trade? Would it just be living with a little giving? Good thing the cat doesn't have to bother with such stuff like many a lad or lass. Hmm, then again, that could make me a dead little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

We're On A Roll With This Stroll!

We were comfortable as can be when Pat left our sea. He asked if we wanted to go. Of course we said, "Hell No!" Who wants to go where it's cold. On a comfy warm spot we'll stay sold.


It is my it ain't happening face.Going out we do not embrace.I'll stay here and rest.It is for the best.

Nope, not going to work.A snowy giant litter box isn't a perk.We won't be able to bury it.Then humans will whine when they step in our shit.

A tree across the road.Yeah, now that is a load.That makes us want to go.Right! We don't want to see the giant that gave it the heave ho.

A swamp or trees?It comes with a breeze?No thank you.Rather cook a dog stew.

Trying to make me run.I'll laser eye each bun.Even letting this guy in won't work.Outside is not a perk.

What is that?Sure not a cat.Is one a lass?Damn, it's a double ass.

There it is in view.This time one, not two.Pat isn't as grand at shots though.We'll leave that to Snow.

Bah, another tree.Giants so aren't for me.What? The wind did it?Bah, the wind can't hit.

Still not going.Especially after that showing.But now I'll chase the furball away.Go and enjoy your day.

This is my I told you so face.Outdoors is not fun to embrace.You look kinda cold too.Sorry, bed is still mine and not for you.
Do you like the outdoors? We would rather do chores. Not that we cats have any of those. Do you like my I told you so pose? Ever get trapped behind a fallen tree? That sure wouldn't be fun to come to be. Especially if it is on TV. Then it is obviously a trap to capture thee. Now I'll go back to my resting pass. That outdoors stuff is far too outdoorsy for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Poor Does Pour With This Tour!

The cat hears it all the time. You have even dropped a dime. Or maybe a nickel. Are those things still around and fickle? We saw it in a yard the other day. Maybe they wanted to have visitors pay? Anyway, on with the task before wtf is he going on about you ask. Too late? Such is my fate.

The rich and the poor.
Opposite forevermore.
No matter the scenario.
House them in Ontario.

Those poor rich.
Damn, there's a glitch.
Rich and poor?
A line divided no more?

You poor cat.
Confused where you are at.
But I don't need money.
You humans are funny.

Poor, poor mankind.
Aliens probe your behind.
Hey, we get it from the vet.
Maybe they think needs must be met.

But the rich got probed.
They got nailed and globed.
Yep, that's a word.
Poor you, not absurd.

But you have dough?
Damned if I know.
You just need to be poor.
That is what is in store.

A poor pitiful me.
Those annoy we.
They are so poor.
Whoops, I locked the door.

Poor, poor pitiful mes.
Can't pay their fees.
Can't come here to whine.
Can't hurt the poor ears of the feline.

So now my ears need money?
Is the money funny?
Does it have earwax?
Do I have to pay tax?

Your poor head.
Damn, had to be said.
Now you're poor all over.
Could go bum from poor rover.

Do you use that? Did you ever say poor cat? Do cats somehow need money? Aren't we in charge while the humans let their bank accounts get all runny? I thought so. So no poor will show. Poor, poor you for not knowing that. Hmm did we just get flagged for not being PC to the poor where we are at? Poor, poor us. Damn, this poor thing makes me cuss. Is your comment going to be a poor pass? Don't worry, you'll get no sass, probably, from my not so poor little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wouldn't Want To As A Home Comes Due!

The cat was out the other day, more like Pat was at our bay, and saw a place that was rather scary. It probably would rot a ripe berry. It was way way back in no rat land. But one thought it grand.

Here we are.
Door not ajar.
Door stays shut.
Could be a nut.

Murder shack a plenty.
This makes twenty.
Oh, a cellar door.
Go down there and be lost forevermore.

Smell the sea air.
Sorry, can't at our lair.
The window's down a crack.
Hmm look to frail to attack.

Get out and do.
Then they trap you.
Try to turn and run.
At least there's no gun.

At least not yet.
Loaded in the house a safe bet.
Don't piss off the crazy.
Life may get hazy.

Isn't life grand?
No, I won't shake your germy hand.
But sure, it is grand.
I don't want to know what's buried in that sand.

I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
Not even if you could study celss.
Yeah, I looked that up.
Aliens fixed that hiccup.

Nope. This place is the best.
It beats all the rest.
Never have I or would I want to go anywhere.
This is my murder shack lair.

How would you know?
Never you did go.
So you just nod and agree?
Does sheep live with thee?

I live alone.
Not even a phone.
It's just the best.
Like a bird in a nest.

Do you never want to live anywhere else at your sea? How do you know if you never left or experienced anything else in the life of thee? Maybe having no desire to live anywhere else is a better way. But never? Does that really come into play? Do you have a desire to live in a murder shack two hours away from anything resembling civilization at your sea? We'll pass and quickly, very quickly, flee. That is too much hermit in mass. We'll stick with being a one horse town little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Little By Little To Stave Off Brittle!

The cat has heard it a time or two. I'm sure you have too. But does it hold? Does it win gold? We think not. It has a backwards plot. At least a bit. Who'd even sweat with it?

Here we go.
A new rhyming show.
A brand new day.
Same all the way.

But we'll pretend.
Take new around the bend.
New for me and you.
Now what's in view?

Something big, something small.
We just can't do it all.
So don't sweat the small things.
Leave that to the dingalings.

Forget the trash.
Have a bash.
Forget the cleaning.
Go watch a movie screening,

Forget the grass.
Sit on your ass.
Forget the leak.
Go swim in the creek.

Forget the bills.
Go play in the hills.
Forget the car.
It will still get you far.

Forget the paperwork.
That boss is a jerk.
Forget the weather.
We can drive fast in the snow together.

Forget the laundry pile.
We have people to dial.
Forget a call home.
We have to get drunk at the Dirty Dome.

Forget a post.
Let's go to the coast.
Forget the taxes.
My brain relaxes.

What has happened here?
Why aren't things clear?
My life has been sucked away.
But I didn't sweat the small things like they say.

Did the cat just prove that a bit wrong? Whoops, guess you humans will have to sing a new song. Unless you want to be a nudist on the street. Go ahead and avoid the small things if you find that sweet. Does any of that make you sweat? Hmm mowing the grass some sweat may be met. The rest, not so much. If in the Dirty Dome, never ever reach out and touch. Just some info to pass along. Did you think not sweating the small stuff could go so wrong? Have to do the small things, sweat or not, when they require a pass. On that you can trust my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Which Is Which With The Least Glitch?

The cat likes to win. We take a winning spin. I get those toys and chase those intruders away. I even whack the mutt on display. But what of each beast? Who becomes least? Can't follow me? You will at my sea.

To come in first,
Sure beats worst.
Or would that be least?
You won't get the feast.

Or the toy.
Or maybe no joy.
But you may learn.
Get better upon your return.

Then you can glow.
That we know.
But there may be a snag.
It could be a drag.

Whether one or fifty.
It may not be nifty.
No matter the number.
May get you as you slumber.

Or maybe not.
Like a black balled plot.
You just never know.
Unless a rigged show.

For you could be it.
What's with that shit?
First and still it?
That's a wrong bit.

What was that?
Confused be the cat?
You're the last one.
Isn't last fun?

Oh, it's last but not least.
Better from this furry beast?
So if you're last and not least,
Who gets no feast?

Who is the least?
Who's full of yeast?
Blah, don't answer the latter.
That really doesn't matter.

Is a number drawn with magic?
Is least forever tragic?
Which of them is least?
Those that live west not east?

Ever think of that? Which of the participants is least where they are at? If last isn't least then someone else is and can't get the winning feast. Could first be least? Is that something they made up in the east? Where does least go? Does it just walk away with a no? Did I overthink it too much with this pass? I can do that with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Fan Should Is Never Understood!

Today we will go on and on and on. We will say what should dawn. We will say what should not. We will have an opinion on every plot. We will rant and rant. Yeah, and I'm a rhyming ant.

Here it comes.
Beat the drums.
It will be grand.
I'll give it a hand.

May chop it off.
No one should scoff.
I wanted this forever.
It will surely be clever.

Today's the day.
It's on display.
I'm first in line.
This will be fine.

Wow. Wow. Wow.
I just had a cow.
That was so bad.
Way more than a tad.

How could they do that?
How could it fall flat?
This should have been done.
This never should have been given a run.

Don't you agree?
You don't with me?
How could you like that?
It was so flat.

You hate it too?
That makes two.
But you liked that part?
You need to go play in the parking lot of Walmart.

How could you?
This should have came due.
That should not have occurred.
Your sight is blurred.

What? You're nuts.
Head up other butts.
That makes no sense.
You are so dense.

They never should have did it that way.
Those producers or whoever has to pay.
They ruined my vision and such.
Who cares if it was never mine to touch?

Don't you love the fanboy/girl/thing/whatevers that come out of the woodwork? They'll bash things to even a Walmart clerk. All because it never came out the way they wanted. Even if no bad quality taunted. Just didn't come out their way. The way of a million different ways at play. Yeah, like that will ever be the case. But oh no, it didn't embrace. I sure don't mind giving them sass. For unless you own it, make it, put the effort into it, and whatever else to make it comes to pass, you are no more going to get your "vision" than the singing bass. I'll continue to control the rhymes that come out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Nothing At All There At Your Hall!

Nothing is back to play. Nothing wants to have its say. Nothing in a whole other way. Like the say you humans let come out to play. Can play work with yapping? Who knows with your flapping.

What was that?
Stop it flat.
You can't do that.
You may go splat.

You want me?
Pffft, go and flee.
Flee from me.
Go. Leave me be.

Stop, don't pry.
I said go fly.
Oh me, oh my.
That would make me cry.

Get back.
I'm not in the pack.
I'll give you flack.
I'm off that track.

Won't you stop?
It's a flop.
I'm not in the crop.
I'll call a cop.

Why is that?
You're a dingbat.
I chew no more fat.
Nothing will ever get me to do that.

No million bucks.
No million ducks.
No super umm flucks.
No signed hockey pucks.

No mansion on a hill.
No zeroed out bill.
No cure for the ill.
No zillion dollar bill.

No super love.
No God above.
No poop from a dove.
No little or big shove.

Nothing at all.
No matter your call.
Nothing will make me do that.
Oh look, I put on the hat.

Do you humans exaggerate a bit or what? Nothing at all at your hut? I guarantee if many a domino decided to fall, your nothing would bounce away like a ball. Maybe not for 100% of things. But most would fly away on wings. But nothing at all would stop my rhyme. Oh look, a million dollars, see ya, my last rhyme. Nah, it would take two million to come to pass. The tax man would take a chuck from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Line That's Not Fine!

This post decided to align. Is that different than line? I'll leave grammar to you human ones. Such things can give me the runs. Not really though. Just so you know.

Away I walk.
Away I run.
No time to talk.
I'm having fun.

That's out of line?
Was I supposed to go straight?
Sorry, there was no sign.
I zig zagged to my plate.

That's out of line?
Go suck a lime.
I'm a zig zagging feline,
Not some rule following mime.

That's out of line.
You can't be a mime.
They can't even say mine.
Now go suck that lime.

That's out of line.
Oh, I get the meaning.
I am still going to dine.
No need for a repeat screening.

That's out of line.
I told you there was no lineup.
So suck on some pine.
Or maybe go get bit by a pup.

That's...we know, we know.
You are a straight arrow.
Do you also want me to go slow?
Are kiddies outside the window?

Would that be a school zone?
Are they learning to walk?
I think I hear that tone.
That's out of line you squawk.

Look, tons of people.
They are this way and that.
Not straight like a steeple.
That's out of line where they are at.

The group stayed still.
That is so bad.
Sooo run of the mill.
Lines aren't glad.

Are you out of line? Is the feline? Do you think I care? Nah, of that you are aware. How can you be out of line when there is no line? For lines do you sit at home and pine? Are you a line freak? Is that out of line at my creek? Out of line with no line in the grass, so I'll zig zag the line with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.