The Hotline For You Here In View!

Are you ready for it? It is really the shit. It proves you are full of it. Yeah, like the already said shit. Geez, said that twice in a row. That is a no no. Bah! A crisis is in view. Umm...errr...time two!

Today was bad.
Today was had.
Stuff was done.
It was not fun.

I stubbed my toe.
That gets an oh no.
I need a hotline.
My toe isn't fine.

It's a crisis for me.
One that's easy to see.
Hello! Hello!
I ate bad jello.

It's a crisis I tell you.
It is soooo bad at our zoo.
Whoops, I meant mine.
I am single on the line.

That is awful too.
It just won't do.
A crisis of one.
What can be done?

Hello? Are you there?
Do you want me to swear?
I need you to give a fluck.
I was almost, sorta, maybe hit by a truck.

That was sooo bad.
No fun was surely had.
It is a crisis more than a tad.
Can't you tell that I'm really mad?

You hung up?
I spilled my cup.
It just released air.
A full blown crisis at my lair.

Did you catch that?
Didn't get my innuendo where I'm at?
Wait. Was it a pun?
Bah, a crisis in my fun.

What can I do?
I'm having more than a few.
Hello? Hello? Are you gone?
A blade of grass is out of place on my lawn.

Now isn't that a crisis or ten? Do you have such a crisis or three at your den? Do you ever use it when it is not? Some sure give it a go a lot. Sorry, a popped balloon isn't a crisis one bit. But you can dial 999 We Don't Give A Shit. Same goes for a crooked blade of grass. It isn't even a crisis, although maybe close, when Pat hasn't scooped what came out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.