Pat Hatt's Blog, page 158

A Third Host At Our Coast!

The cat has discovered the real thing. There is a third cat at our wing. It showed itself the other day while I was in the litter tray. This could be big to all. I could sell tickets at my hall.

There I was taking a crap,
While Cassie was having a nap.
Then we saw a light.
It didn't give a fright.

Should I be scared of blue?
Nope, not at my zoo.
Blue isn't very scary.
But the thing wasn't hairy.

It took that to heart.
I let out a fart.
I buried the crap,
Keeping an eye on the chap.

That takes some skill.
Then we went in for the kill.
Cassie and I slunk along.
This thing smelled all wrong.

Mainly because it did not smell.
Deodorant would be a tough sell.
Poor axe may go under,
If the smell this thing does plunder.

But with that aside,
We got ready to send it for a ride.
No other cats allowed here.
I am not a nice little rhyming rear.

Dogs are okay.
But cat's, no way.
Cassie just hates all.
Where was I at my hall?

Oh yes, the thing.
We gave a meow ring,
Then we hopped to it.
There it still did sit.

Bad grammar and all,
We hit the wall.
As in we went right through,
The thing and its blue.

So we got a picture of it.
Made sure it was well lit.
And now we have proven ghosts are real.
We are awaiting our movie deal.


Ever see a ghost like that? What, you don't believe the cat? The evidence is right in front of you. Next week we'll find big foot for you. At least the ghost cat won't eat any of our bass. That works for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

What Was That? Head Of A Cat?

The cat is back on the tune trail today. May curse me after hitting play. Not by what you see, unless you don't like the butt of me, but by what you hear. An ear worm may just come near.



What's in your head
What's in your head
This song is now stuck in your head

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head.

Not in your toes
Not in your feet
Bow down and admit defeat.

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head

Not in your shin,
Not in your knee.
Not even down where you pee.

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head

Not in your tummy
Not in your bum.
And you can't play dumb.

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head

Not in your arm.
Not in your hand.
I didn't even need a band.

Stuck in your head.
Stuck in your head.
This song is now stuck in your head.

Back behind the eyes,
In between the ears.
Let's give three cheers,

Stuck in your head
Stuck in your head
This song is now stuck in your head.
Did it get stuck? Did you la la la to avoid such luck? Betsy does that, she's on to the cat. The cat had to give that a go as it just popped in at my show. Who knows why, well maybe to annoy each girl and guy. The cat likes to do that in mass. So much fun for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Cartoony Name Game!

Have you ever taken a close look at the cartoon? Those who named some had to be a bit of a loon. But you know that is fine by me as the cat is as crazy as can be.

The cartoon name.
A name to fame.
Drawing on paper.
A name game caper.

The Great Gazoo,
Got called a time or two.
Maybe by dear Boo Boo.
Need a bandaid at your zoo?

The Fraggles rocked.
The humans they stalked.
Gumbi got, well, bent.
You know what I meant.

Puss in Boots took aim,
At some unspayed dame.
Fat Cat hated his name.
Cats not so tame.

Zipper is quite the fellow.
Zip up where things come out yellow.
Itchy may not inspire.
Itchy near the zipper is dire.

Does Bullwinkle wink?
Did I make you think?
Humpty Dumpty is just fun.
Figure out that one.

Elmer Fudd hunts Wabbit.
Can be a bad habit.
Squiddly Diddly sounds wrong.
Can he diddle and sing a song?

Mrs. Buttloaves has an issue.
She may drag along bathroom tissue.
Winnie the Pooh needs a loo.
I guess that is what tons of honey can do.

Meatwad is just strange.
A vegan would want it to change.
Foghorn Leghorn blows I guess.
Horns must leave ears everywhere in a mess.

Scooby Doo gets a nudge.
But who is the cat to judge.
We have a Bohlingaringding on call.
Hey, at least it's the longest of all.

Miss any with my rhyme? I know many have a weird name chime. But a lot seem to have to do with #1 or #2. Then again farts are great to the adolescent crew. So pull up your Zipper class. Don't say you weren't warned by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Let's Meet To The Beat!

The cat just attended one of the most boring things on Earth. How can they have anything of worth? You sit and stare at a wall. I can have much more fun tearing up and down the hall.

With this act,
You make a pact.
You repeat a fact,
And be exact.

Fact is though,
The fact you know.
That fact you do to.
Fiction may come due.

But the fiction you know.
Where is a foe?
I'd rather fight.
This takes all night.

Maybe even all day.
Waste your life away.
Can spin in a chair.
Passerby's beware.

Can click your pen.
Make all squawk like a hen.
At least it's new,
What they shout at you.

Maybe not after the first one.
Yeah, drags it on a ton.
So it's a gift and a curse.
It could always be worse.

Could be sitting in a gutter.
But I'll still mutter.
Grumble and growl.
The cat may howl.

Snip snip so no heat.
But can pretend on a seat.
That may discourage yapping.
The cat can start flapping.

I will scare them all away.
Then I can enjoy my day.
Or just give them fleas.
They'll get itchy knees.

Instead the facts I hear.
Facts already given an ear.
The fact is head against wall I'm beating.
That is the fact of the work meeting!

Are you a meeting lover at your zoo? Do the meetings just do it for you? I suppose if the meeting was just two and under or on the table you could ummm whoo. Hey, gutter is better than the same old facts. Can't they at least present new acts? But nope, the same thing in mass. It puts to sleep my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Bloggy Doo At My Zoo!

Robbie Raisin is back and we are here for another Whoopdi Friggin Doo attack. I heard the blog world had to get things off their chest. Whoopdi Friggin Doo does that the best. So Robbie Raisin will help out. Feel free to give anything a shout.

So Jax, what have you to say? Feel free to blab away.

He HOARDS them!!!!!!!!!!!!! He called me today to ask me if I like frogs because someone threw out a large collection of frog figurines. Or how about last week when he found the same birth control pescription I use not opened..and he had no idea whyyy I wouldn't want THAT. Oh, don't get me started, Cat!! You'll get a real blabbing rant out of me!

Damn, I think that is all the time we have for this show. Brian, care to have a free flow?

ha. kind of a freaky clown eh?
i used to be a traveling one at my bay
though i was in yellow
a kinda mellow fellow
now this one has a face like a cello
i like the hair though

You were a clown that likes hair? Betty, do you have something more rare?

Glad I'm not afraid of clowns
like some people can be
He was certainly a gleeful one
his laugh was fun to see!

Brian, you have a fan. Suza, care to take a kick at the can?

Do you know the loris?
Cute with BIG eyes
Makes me smile
They look very surprised

So you love big eyed apes? Mary, any revealing tapes?

Dolly Parton has always looked a bit like an alien to me with all her plastic surgery.

A Dolly fetish from you? Who knew? Beer guys, care for a few tries?

Oh, we laugh at Gary Busey now, but I bet those giant alien teeth can deflect lasers.

Off in make believe land? Terry, is life going grand?

You know my Hubs son I was telling you about with the toilet paper? We took him 5 lottery tickets too. We watched him scratch away. This is getting freaky with you posting my life. LOL

No tp is sure scary. Manzi, you got anything really hairy?

The annaknaki came looking for gold
They found wild ugly animals I'm told
They used parts of us, add to their own
Came out as humans and the brain was on loan

A mad scientist at your bay? Does it make much pay?  Adam, care to play with us today?

I used to have a neighbor who had more crap than Fred Sanford. His whole backyard was filled stuff that they didn't need nor want. 

Seems he has a gripe indeed. Tabbies o trout towne what takes seed?

de bass terd turkee burd that will be sittin round with stuffin in hiz azz two morow

Birds surely do eat seed. Betsy, have anything to reveal in need?

Trudy goes in
for the win!
No extra chatter
won her the platter!

Ummm err who is that? A make believe cat? Marg can you shed some light on her fright?

Sounds like a scary day at that zoo.

That sums it up swell. Hank, want to damn anyone to hell?

You think it is a free country so throw things everywhere
So no more littering
So a little thinking
So you can save the day be less bothersome if you may

Yeah, litterbugs suck. Susan, care to try your luck?

I'm the chucker at my house and every time my husband can't find something, he blames me for throwing it out. 

A good confession for the soul. Brian the cat, what is your goal?

Sometimes even our clutter has clutter!

Clean up aisle ten? Snowcatcher, care to throw in your pen?

A hoarding packeat I confess to be
Yarn and fabric as far as the eye can see
But that just means I get a pass
On Christmas shopping I find so crass!

Sorry, Santa has come and gone. Rosey, care to add to the con?

Ever see those fake ones that look so real?

Wow, that can go any which way. Gloria, are you ready to play?

When I read the post name I know you were teasing us again:)))

Are you a psychic to? Truedessa, what comes from you?

I am a chucker with somethings at my bay
other things I may save to use another day

So you cancel yourself out? Theresa, care to give us a shout?

Clowns don't usually scare me, but that's one freaky clown in the video!

Watching strange videos again on youtube I see. Alex, how is this ended by the ninja wannabe?

I won't look at those people the same way now

Wow, you all scarred Alex for life. I guess he'll just have to be satisfied talking to his wife. That is the end of our show. Now you may know things you did not know. Thank you cards can be sent to Whoopdi Friggin Doo and money too.

*************************
Are you all better getting that off your chest? You sure can pass the crazy test. But that is fine by me. The cat is as crazy as can be. Not sure what Rosey was trying to fake in mass, but I won't go there with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

When Said You Get Dread!

The cat knows you humans must be nuts, or maybe you are taking cues from mutts. Either way, all you can do is say, hey. If you're lucky maybe talk about the weather when you all come together. But been there done that. There is one more you hide under your hat. The conversation starter that makes one go oh no! You can sometimes create a foe.

We have to talk!
Go, take a walk.
It is generally bad.
No fun will be had.

Promise not to get mad?
Means something bad was had.
If you promise you may lie.
But go ahead, give it a try.

Can I ask you something?
It has a familiar ring.
Meaning they are afraid to ask.
So might not be a fun task.

I have something to tell you.
Time for you to shoo.
It probably won't please.
Or could be a nice tease.

Can you follow me?
Run away, flee!
They either want to fire you,
Or go all Deliverance when out of view.

"Name" do you....
They want something new.
Run far far away.
To a new galaxy they say.

Are you busy?
Do I look dizzy?
But yes I am anyway.
I don't want to do what you say.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Something that won't bring me sorrow.
Unless I have to help you.
I know, so mean at my zoo.

Will you be around later?
See you, alligator.
But then again might not be so bad.
Things could go rather umm glad.

Would you mind doing such and such a thing?
Yep, but you knew that it would sting.
Yet you still want it done.
Aren't you're in trouble conversation starters fun?

The cat just rolls his eyes when these come due. I know something bad is going to come from you. Are you trying to soften the blow? Did I miss any with today's rhyming show? You humans sure have them in mass. You beat around the bush unlike my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Stopped Paying Rent And Away They Went!

So the cat was high on his blogroll the other day, meaning no more could be added at my bay, and some needed to hit delete. They had closed up their shop on the blogland street. Interesting to look back at some who stopped beating the blogging drum. I guess they got a life or their life filled with strife.

In the thick of it.
Some more than a bit.
Some with wit.
Others full of umm spit.

But then aren't we all?
Answer that with a cat call.
See, full of something there.
Okay, on with it at my lair.

A redneck was in view.
There may have even been two.
A few art ones were about.
I guess their ink ran out?

Blabber came and went.
Then she pitched a new tent.
Then she made a new blog.
Lost that one in a fog.

Yeah, the cat did not forget it.
I wonder if she'll still be around with this will hit?
A vacuum cleaner guy.
On vacuums he was not shy.

A beserk herc dude.
He sure had attitude.
Old one eye I'll count,
The slacker dropped her post amount.

Had to rub that in.
A waffle left his bin.
Some mind of a mad man got lost.
Maybe his mind was so mad it was tossed?

A satirical blog lost its satire.
Maybe they are looking to hire?
Slamdunks likes to hide.
His vacations must be one long ride.

A Van Helsing lost his way.
Or found it somewhere on display.
Some Twinkle Toes took a break.
But I bet their break is fake.

Many more there are.
Seems they run away near and far.
What is the cause?
Maybe they wanted an encore applause?

The cat knows life takes priority indeed. Hey, you have to have one first take seed. Ever wonder where old blogs went? The least they could do is put a final post saying, get bent. But you don't have to worry about that coming to pass with my ever so far ahead posting little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Screw You A Time Or Two!

Ever watch employers work? They can be weird whether you're a boss or a clerk. Not talking the big boss guy. They are usually a blowhard from upon high. So today let's aspire to hire.

Need an employee.
So kill a tree.
Send resume in and out.
Twist and shout.

Kiss ass and be polite.
Whether day or night.
Pucker up those lips.
Do back flips.

But in the end,
Comes a familiar trend.
One seen far and near.
The process is clear.

Got kids, you're out.
The one without has more clout.
Too slow? Oh no!
You lose to the fast foe.

Don't know? Poor you.
You can clean our loo?
No degree? Sorry to you.
Go milk things that moo.

Shh we are still equal opportunity hiring.
It's just you aren't aspiring.
Look at your age.
You could expire in a fit of rage.

What? That goes with it.
We are thinking of you every bit.
No way would we violate that.
Equal opportunity is where it is at.

The job you can do?
That we knew.
But you just look funny.
We want to make money.

Sit back and relax.
We pay the welfare tax.
Don't worry your pretty little head.
You will still get fed.

Equal opportunity for all.
Oh look, give her a cat call.
She is automatically in.
Hey, equal opportunity won't help you win.

So funny to watch sometimes. It is more amusing than mimes. But sadly a lot of times they are full of crap. Don't you love the hiring chap? Now of course some things you need skills for, but they may still show you the door. Leave them some bad gas. That is equal opportunity enough for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

More News You Can't Use!

The cat went into a trance and did a little dance. Or was that they other way around? Either way, some more headlines were found. Did you think I was through? I have to bring future news to you.

2019: The Blue Guy farts and causes a riot.
Damn, a fart like that means he needs a better diet.
2034: Marvel announces phase 6.
Old man Iron Man plays pick up sticks.

2054: Blabber still has tons of shampoo.
I guess one bottle will never do.
2073: Fish walk out of the sea.
Yeah, they walk right out and greet thee.

2036: A meteor brings little green beans.
Damn, alien beans must make scenes.
2048: Coconuts fall from the sky.
Those aliens are giving food a try.

2037: Lottery commission admits the lottery is rigged.
I knew things were re-jigged.
3038: The Earth gets renamed to Ground.
My, that is just oh so profound.

6069: Apes rule Ground.
They let cats stick around.
2222: Many marry on Feb. 22 at 22 hours 22 minutes and 22 seconds in the night.
Damn, the crazies humans and their long headlines that take flight.

5555: Robots kill many humans through love.
I guess they squash them when landing from above?
2026: The Walking Dead is still on.
Those zombies sure can spawn.

2029: Betsy stubs her toe.
I guess the news wanted everyone to know?
2030: Chips go in every humans head.
Pffft put a chip in me and you'll end up dead.

2043: Flying cars still aren't real.
That is good with all the nuts behind the wheel.
2057: Stargate SG1 comes back.
Must be a redo or a geriatric pack.

2038: A dam breaks and floods a town.
More info? Like where it went down?
2039: Name of flooded town found.
And still screwing us around.

2067: Americans are too fat to even run for cancer.
I guess they missed their calling as a sofa dancer?
2047: The Oxford Dictionary adds 500 new words to it.
Damn, do you think there is another way to say umm shit?

Bah, the cat isn't full of that. I just ducked down and left Pat some scat. Ready to live on Ground? That has to impress a hound. Some strange headlines you humans create. Some have an awful fate. There is stubbing a toe and some lethal gas. I am glad it does not happen to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

This Nut Sniffed Too Many A Butt!

There are just some people that should be locked away, or at least prevented from taking appts any which way. Up until now Pat has been fine. But then came a nut who even irritates the feline.

Appt is booked.
I even double looked.
Or would the be checked?
Either way, it's wrecked.

Now is the time given.
Apparently she's off livin.
It was another day.
Listen to what I say.

It was supposed to be tomorrow.
Don't worry there is no sorrow.
Just come back again.
I wrote it in pen.

Maybe a pencil looks like a pen?
Bet she can't count passed ten.
Not even with fingers and toes.
She might make five, but who knows.

Anyway, back on task.
Was she into the flask?
That might just be it.
Or she was related to that Flappy twit.

So next time comes.
Flaps her gums.
Nope, it was this time.
You once again got the wrong chime.

I said this day.
Shoo, go now and play.
Come back once more.
This appt is something of lore.

Maybe she should play in the street?
The cars she may defeat.
At least a tiny one.
Watching it may be fun.

And then comes the third try.
Whoops, a no show guy.
A call and a message at hand.
Late people she can't stand.

Pfffft is all I say,
And go on with my day.
Stick your pencil in your ear.
It will go right through I fear.

Ever have any nuts that can't keep it right? They really are a plight. I've heard of people getting it wrong here and there, but those who book them at their lair? Not once but twice? Maybe she was trained by mice? Three blind ones with a bad case of gas. It sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.