Pat Hatt's Blog, page 154

July 12, 2015

Out To Get Her As The Lines Blur!

So after the hairball day, I bet you are waiting for more at my bay. Yep, Rosey gave the cat more ammo to use. Hey, the cat can abuse and amuse. Conspiracy nuts give her the heebie jeebies she said. Now let's fill her with dread.

Two by two they come.
Or maybe three by three.
Tinfoil on their head and bum.
The aliens they surely see.

They swear they were probed.
If and where, are fuzzy though.
Must suck to get disrobed,
Giving aliens a peep show.

But that isn't all.
They have a message to send.
They yell from hall to hall,
That we are nearing the end.

The sky will fall.
Chicken Little was right.
Boom goes this spinning ball,
Some day or some night.

Rosey better lock her door,
Get a bomb shelter made.
The aliens are coming to explore,
And they don't like fair trade.

Those beeps in the night,
Sounds of the end.
We abductees are right.
It is a growing trend.

666 had it right.
Oops, let that one fly.
She may want to fight.
Oh me, oh my.

Wait, there is a cause.
One that we don't see.
Stop and pause,
Rosey is at the center of the conspiracy.

She hates them because they are true.
The heebie jeebies come due.
She knows more than a few.
She is an alien through and through.

All that paper she hoards away,
Has come into play.
It has he secrets on display.
She will bring about doomsday.

There you go everyone. Blame Rosey when you have to run. The conspiracy is all around her. They really make her purr. No heebie jeebies come due. She lied at my zoo. Do you believe the cat? No? Well how about that. Maybe I have a bad case of gas? Beats my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 12, 2015 03:00

July 11, 2015

What Luck When It Gets Stuck!

The cat was doing his thing and then heard some human sing. The stupid song then got stuck in the cat's head. Even when I tried to rest in bed. Such songs should be outlawed says the cat. Thankfully it wasn't The Brady Bunch or some other strat.

Mind on matter,
Avoiding the chatter.
Then it strikes.
A song with lots of likes.

One that all knows.
One that flows.
Remembrance is easy,
It is rather cheesy.

In your head while you rest.
In your head with zest.
In your head while you pee.
It won't leave your head be.

Hum it and pass it on.
Finally comes dawn.
It leaves your head.
So you get out of bed.

Then the passee hums it.
You repeat the fit.
One circle that never ends,
Driving all around bends.

Stuck there forever.
Unless you are clever.
Hum a new one.
Do it a ton.

Then the new one gets stuck.
Just keep passing the buck.
Until you end the loop.
Maybe watch Goof Troop?

Dated myself there?
Old cat at our lair?
Maybe just do a new rhyme?
Stuck in the head is such a crime.

Need some scrubbing done,
Pat's brain could use a ton.
Humming and making the cat mad.
That sure isn't rad.

Stuck in the head,
Stuck in the head in bed.
Stuck in the head until dead.
Oh the dread.

How do you get rid of ones that get stuck? Have any luck? Thankfully they usually go away. But some sure like to hit replay. There they will stay all through the day. At least I didn't hear it from a singing bass. That would have further annoyed my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 11, 2015 03:00

July 10, 2015

You Must Be There At Your Sea!

The cat has come across a few that asks what I do. I tend to tell them Pat writes so my rhyming won't keep them up nights. Let's face it, to some people rhyming is scary, umm, shit. Isn't that right? Hmm, maybe that will be another post that takes flight.

You write books?
They give strange looks.
You must be rich.
They say in a high pitch.

No one can do that.
Err umm see a rhyming cat.
It must be so hard.
Yep, like mowing the yard.

How do I get that job?
Go ask farmer Bob.
I got ideas to write.
Boy, they sound tight.

Is it easy to do?
Probably not for you.
Can I do it?
Didn't I answer that bit?

Do I need an idea from the start?
Err umm, no wonder you work at Wal-Mart.
What if I get stuck?
Paddle like a duck.

Can I use other ideas from others?
Sorry, no rip offs, even from mothers.
How can I write?
Err umm, keyboards don't bite.

Will it take a while?
Depends on the style.
How long will it take?
Longer than baking a cake.

Will it need to be long?
Longer than a song.
Can I write anything?
Even about a fling.

Why should I write?
Beats me at my site.
Is writing easy to do?
Repeating yourself at my zoo.

Will you write my idea for me?
Yep, right after the cat fills your shoe with pee.
I have one line and need more.
Hopefully your one line doesn't bore.

The cat has given such smart arse remarks to a few, as they are a tad slow at their zoo. I'm sure you have too. Get rich? Who knew? Certainty not my bank account with its measly amount. Now I am through with any sass from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 10, 2015 03:00

July 9, 2015

Don't Stress, It Isn't Chess!

The cat has noticed for a long time how humans are no longer in their prime. Pathetic is now high on the bar. Hell, on top of the the bar is par. Excellent, great, etc, are no longer there. Mediocrity is all it takes at any lair.

Why try and do?
Instead sit and stare.
No one is after you.
No reason to beware.

Mediocre is tops.
There is no stress.
If something flops,
Wash your hands of the mess.

No need to own up to it.
Let it float into the sea.
Wade through the shit,
And just let it be.

Talent is of no need.
Let that go by the way side.
Show your ass on a blog feed,
And in that you can take pride.

Mediocrity is the best.
Why try any more?
I passed the test.
Excellent is only lore.

Slack off and show up late.
Wear nothing to Wal-Mart.
That is the mediocre fate,
Lots of useless crap in your cart.

Made in China is the way.
Who wants to work anyway?
Sit and watch a display.
With idiots at play.

Celebrity means fool.
Watch as they drool.
That is so cool.
Mediocrity will rule.

Have to know.
Have to see.
No lawn to mow.
After all I'm free.

Mediocrity is tops.
Excellent is a myth,
Watch ball drops,
Mediocrity is fun to be with.

Damn humans do nothing much anymore. Complacent as can be at their shore. Idiocracy is coming due. Things are now so much stupider in view. The cat just likes to prove it here and there. I think I can do that at my lair. To mediocrity I just pass gas from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 09, 2015 03:00

July 8, 2015

A Little Share By The Pair!

The cat will help you once more there at your shore. The cat will show you how to share. What? I am always willing to share a little cat hair.


See? Sharing is easy.Not at all cheesy.Big enough for all,Here at our hall.

Cassie shares a yawn.It had to be after dawn.Look at that big yap.Warning, it may be a trap.

I share a little space.See, a little bit you can embrace.I left some on the far side.Go ahead, take it with pride.

A shared a mat too.With a puffy ball at my zoo. Hey, it is sharing.I am very caring.

I let Cassie stick her nose in.That is sure a sharing win.But that was all.I shared a little at my hall.

I shared time with this.I even pretended to miss.It seemed to like that.Pffft, thought it could beat the cat.

Cassie sharing another yawn.She is such a sharing pawn.That is all she will share.So sharers beware.

I'll share with you though.No need to sit low.An ass cheek can fit.I like sharing a bit.

I would share with you,But you'd get stuck like glue.So by not sharing I'm sharing life.I'm preventing you strife.

Oops, you caught me.Not sharing the mat at my sea.The puffy ball has gone.Damn, sharing was all a con.
And there you go. Now you can share high and low. Or maybe left and right. Share day or night. If you share like me you may get nasty looks directed at thee. But oh well. I'm sure you can handle being told to go to hell. The cat will now share some gas from his little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 08, 2015 03:00

July 7, 2015

Ready to Play Here Today?

The cat is ready to play. But you know cats like it one way. So the cat will pick the games we play. I hope that is okay. If not, oh well. The cat can be damned to Hell.

Let's play hide with no seek.
Go jump in the creek.
The cat will then nap.
How's that, chap?

Monopoly is number two.
I'll play it with you.
But no Boardwalk on the board.
Does that strike a cord?

Red rover with no call.
That may just appall.
Wait! Didn't that get banned?
The PTA had it canned.

Clue with no clue.
Will you boo hoo?
Hint, I win.
That's not a sin.

Read a book with no pages.
That will save some wages.
But is that a game?
Hmm, okay that may be lame.

So Where's Waldo with no Waldo.
Sorry, not even if you are baldo.
I can make up words too,
As I screw you.

Err umm, I mean win.
Twister with no spin.
Would that be a sin?
Take it on the chin.

Any game with a ball,
With no ball on call.
Catch that air.
Oops, interception at my lair.

I suppose that could get dirty,
But hey, there was no penetration so it isn't dirty.
Watch football highlights if you wish that.
A game without a single stat.

Damn, the announcers would have nothing to say.
Nothing worthwhile anyway.
Now go watch a TV with no screen.
There is reality for you at your scene.

Don't you like my games? The cat is making all go down in flames. Can I just declare myself the winner and eat my dinner? Pffft, why am I asking humans that. Of course, winning always goes to the cat. But never fear, you can win a bit here. For there will never not be gas when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 07, 2015 03:00

July 6, 2015

Something New That May Offend A Few!

Today the cat has a new book. It is NOT a kids book at our nook. It does NOT rhyme. I know, that's a crime. And let's just say, the cat and Pat may be dead come the next day.

Profanity Granny came to be,
In the Imagine Hatt series written by me.
She has a rather rude mouth at her sea.
And I had to capitalize on Profanity Granny.

Why will the cat and Pat be dead?
Why may we get murdered in our bed?
Profanity Granny may do it.
She may not like our next hit.

Yep, she is based off of the real thing.
Whoopsy, did we say that at our wing?
Hey, she makes the cat put up with 10 cats when we go there.
So she is due at her Great Granny lair.

Payback is nice.
Comes at a cheap price.
But if Pat doesn't reply,
If could mean we did die.

Bad grammar there.
But what do I care.
Profanity Granny would just swear.
Pound sand up one's ass without a care.


 This one is true.Such a scary zoo.I stay away.Biting back isn't okay.


True too! At her zoo.Sold a barn.Hey, beats yarn.

 May have embellished here.But sure it is near.Then again she needs the bottle money,So she can fly places that are sunny.


Poor kids.Flip their lids.No candy there.Saves money at her lair. 
Click here for a peer!
And there you are. A few snippets at my sand bar. The idea just popped in and needed to be done. She will curse Pat a ton. I'll hide under the bed. I don't want her biting me on the head. Hey, who needs class? Not my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 06, 2015 03:00

July 5, 2015

Give It A Lick And A Stick!

So the cat saw the other day an ad dressed up as a window display. That is as common as can be. But then there was an ad on a bus in front of me. That is normal too. But then an ad on a bicycle came due.

Where does it end?
On ads we depend?
An ad here and there.
An ad everywhere.

Ads on a bike.
Ads that you like.
Ads that you hate.
Either or, a common trait.

Ads in the air.
Ads in ones hair.
Even ads on a forehead.
Bet they'd put ads on the dead.

Ads on the sidewalk,
On the ground with chalk.
Ads on a rump,
In shorts, but still plump.

Ads in a paper,
Is an old caper.
Ads on the TV,
We don't want to see.

Instead, ads on a tree,
Carved in just for thee.
Ads on a bill,
To make you more ill.

Let's tattoo an ad on an ape.
Maybe an ad filled grape,
As you chew on it,
Ads show up in your spit.

Ads on a bumper.
Ads on a leg humper.
Meaning ads on a dog leash,
Out of the gutter, geesh.

Ads on underwear,
For those times when you're bare.
Hey, ghosts and perverts buy things as well,
May as well ring that ad bell.

Ads in a bathroom stall,
Sure tops them all.
Their product must be such a hit,
That they want to relate it to shit.

Seen ads in any weird places at your sea? I bet you've seen a few daily with their ad spree. I bet ads would be on the dead if they were seen and not buried in the ground. Probably for some stinky smelly stuff that is oh so profound. Ads placement sure has little class. I'll never tattoo an ad on my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 05, 2015 03:00

July 4, 2015

A Little Extra Today Can Be At Play!

So with all out and about or sitting him eating trout, maybe eating fish? Eat whatever you wish. They have to celebrate the day. Canada already did that they say. But a long weekend is still had for some as they took the days off and sat on their bum. My, a run on sentence there. But I don't care. I'll celebrate it. Let's celebrate every bit.

Fireworks in the sky,
Oh me, oh my.
They too pretty to pity.
So go ahead, pollute a city.

Hmm redundant there,
As pollution is everywhere.
But back on task.
Celebrate what you ask?

That you can walk.
That you can talk.
That you can eat.
That you aren't dead meat.

That you can go.
I had to add that, you know.
That camels can spit.
Yep, celebrate it.

That cats can shed.
That you have a bed.
That the blue guy is blue.
Green as a tmnt just wouldn't do.

That the power isn't out.
If it is, feel free to shout.
That pigs fly.
Can to, give them a try.

Celebrate your name.
It isn't lame.
You aren't called IT.
So you are a hit.

Celebrate a dream,
Go jump in a stream.
Bare or not bare,
What do I care?

Celebrate a dog.
Maybe even a frog.
Yeah, I said a mutt.
Celebrate King Tut.

Celebrate ditches.
Maybe even witches.
I've put a spell on you.
So celebrate all at your zoo.

Anything else to had? Yeah, the cat is a little mad. But crazy is fun. You should give it a run. Celebrate the crazy. Then you'll never be lazy. So says a singing bass and my celebrating little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 04, 2015 03:00

July 3, 2015

Start It Off Right With Love Taking Flight!

So the cat will help you out once more. Maybe you need a date at your shore? With a long weekend coming due, hell, you might even want two. Here you are. Now you have no need to go to a bar.

Huckleberries and hounds.
Hmm raiding pounds?
Might want to scratch her,
Unless you like lots of fur.

Doors are made for walking.
What is she squawking?
Is the cat the only one concerned,
That doors she has burned?

Movies are for pussies. 
Is that the same as wussies?
Or did she really go R rated?
Either way, we aren't elated.

Be as actave as me and me as you.
Wow, was that the best she could do?
Oxford called and want their dictionary back.
Seems it was wasted at your shack.

I've two things to say and you've three things to learn.
So do you sit back and skip a turn?
That is just no fair at all.
Don't give this one a cat call.

Food is my passion, but you are number two
Wow, haven't even met me at my zoo.
But seems you met lots and lots of food.
Sorry, not really, was that rude?

420 and 360 friendly fellows.
So one causes brain rot and mellows,
And the other makes you dizzy?
My, won't guys be in a tizzy.

420 and 360 friendly fellows.
Sorry, not into deep bellows.
360 friendly guys can go the other way.
Yeah, that was so good had to do it twice at my bay.

My mother met her 3rd husband on here
That is great, now go have a beer.
Poor tracked record maybe?
Run in the family at your sea?

Cats n dogs n men luv my voice
I guess in you we should rejoice.
Maybe those 360 friendly fellows will come.
I bet that wouldn't make you glum.

Hmmm not sure I did you any favors. But then again, some like different umm flavors. And hey, there are some for all. At least the women who visit my hall. 360 friendly guys are on the prowl. Okay, I'll let that one go before you grump and growl. Now this weekend you to can have a lass. All thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
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Published on July 03, 2015 03:00

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