Pat Hatt's Blog, page 153

Have A Drink From The Sink!

So are you a nasty sink drinker? Have the fluoride heads got you hook, line and sinker? My you humans make a nice fish. If I reel you in do I get to make a wish? I want a pot of gold. Waiting, waiting, nope, that's cold.

Drink from the sink,
Find the missing link.
It tickles you pink,
The germ ridden rink.

Liquified chlorine went into you.
That is so tasty at your zoo.
Next time you're at the swimming pool,
Take a drink and don't be a fool.

Aluminum sulphate.
A fine fate.
Suck it back.
Go all tin man at your shack.

Calcium hydroxide.
Quite the ride.
Prepare for something great.
Another added trait.

Sodium silicofluoride,
Will change the tide.
It will help your body rot,
Or seize up like a robot.

Fluorosilicic acid,
Drained from Lake Placid.
Those gators won't like that.
They may squash you flat.

Enough with the big names,
Let's add fuel to the flames,
That go on within,
There at your sink drinking bin.

The show stopper,
Have some copper,
And as a topper,
Have a mercury hopper.

Pesticides may give way.
Yummy, I say.
Arsenic is grand.
Poison from feet to hand.

Hormones are there,
Such a fun affair.
The just fly wild,
And so help your growing child.

Don't you just want to take a tasty drink of tap water now? I mean that stuff in that can really make you wow. I suppose it's better to be a fluoride head than get some bacteria and be right away dead. But I bet that stuff causes more than gas. It needs to be filtered for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Spam Free, Spam Like Me!

Thankfully with anonymous comments off at my sea spammers mostly leave me be. But there are a few that get through. They are pretty determined spammers at my zoo. Blogger catches most, still annoying at ones coast. So let's have fun with a spammer run.

"Your site is great, here's mine!"
Said many a time to the feline.
Like I believe anything that is said by you.
Hit you with a hammer until your finger turns blue.

"Such great information, my product can do just that."
Wow, Viagra is useful to a cat?
I talk about hairballs and they bring Viagra?
Will that make things flow like Niagara?

"I have a great reward for you."
Yep, and I've got two.
Are you ready for them to come due?
Ones an f and the other is a u.

"What I saw today made me think of this."
Yep, again with the Viagra bliss.
Maybe they are trying to tell Pat something?
Can't tell me as I'm snip snip with nothing to cling.

"Dogs and cat supplies at a cheap rate."
Great, I'll get a crate.
Then I'll lock you in.
Push you in the river for the win.

"Fountain of youth has been found."
And I'm a blue three legged hound.
Pffft take you rat feces pill and shove it.
Maybe you'll choke on it, just a bit.

"Diet wonders like the stars."
What? You mean throwing up outside cars?
Not eating anything at all?
Or maybe giving liposuction a call?

"My battle against gloal warming."
It must have been storming.
You can't even spell.
Maybe stick to search engine hell.

"I love your site, it's just like mine."
Again, pfffft says the feline.
But I may click it one day,
When I'm out of scat at my bay.

"Followed you, follow me here!"
Kiss my little rhyming rear.
If that is all you can say.
Pfffft is the best you'll get on a good day.

I kept a few of the dirty spammers off. Their language could make any scoff. Many get caught thankfully. I think one should pitch them all in the sea. But then they just have a program that posts to 10,000 blogs at once anyway. Yep, they do that for pay. Maybe fill their computer with gas. Then all can watch it explode all thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Round Thirty Six With More Crazies In The Mix!

So we are back, as you know at my shack. But I like to say it anyway even if I am back every day. Now the search engine crazies are here and some really get mouthy today as they draw near.

close the gates you must close the gates walk slowly

So no dogs allowed? The mailman may be proud.

draw a pat and write about it. it's....it can...and.....it can.....

You want to draw Pat? Umm err ... may ... be scary when done with ...that.

snowman with pants dropped showing crack

The wrong time of year unless in the arctic I fear.

mike recommends his guests special dishes in the evening

Really, wtf is that about? I think you were searching for Gloria and he cook out.

hermoprodite biggest boobs hard porn

Umm disappointed you were. Unless you get thrilled by cat fur.

makes me want to hide

Yeah, I'll hide with you. Some scaries love my zoo.

yes its kinky wieny and dinky

You you admit to it? Maybe call it Blinky and you'll be a rhyming hit.

animated snow man jerking off

You get a thrill from ice? Blinky may pay the hypothermia price.

itsrhymetime pat hatt

Searching for Pat and not me? Well screw thee.

what the cat can do?

The cat can eat,
To his own beat.
The cat can shit,
And watch you step in it.

why do cats like mouse burgers

Umm err are you that dumb? Why do humans suck their thumb?

ass rhyming

I have gas
In my little rhyming ass.
The gas will pass,
Out my little rhyming ass.

i am not sure. it seems to me, the bird remember the rhyme at all

A bird can't remember a rhyme? Pffft it won't when the cat eats it in its prime.

what's going on in this pic? reply if you know what it is - a random winner will get a pdn dvd!

Rosey, are you trying to giveaway things here? Geez, and not even telling my little rhyming rear.

And now for your viewing pleasure something that no one can measure. It is so big your eyes may burst. So first go and quench your thirst. Are you ready for it? Here is the winner of this fit.

big heads stuck in big things like giant tiger
Umm err okay. You may not have your head any longer to umm play. Fight with a tiger and neither head will survive. You won't get out alive. What is that? Not dirty you are trying to tell the cat? I suppose could be a Giant Tiger clerk who is being a big headed jerk. But what is with the big head thing? Have you stuck your big head lately in anything? Wait, that may offend a singing bass. So no need to tell my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Magic Is Here, So Shed A Tear!

The cat declares this magic day. Let's all go with it I say. Get everything ready to go. Magic day is about to show. What, you don't believe me? Let's go on a magic day spree.

It's a magic day.
Just because, okay?
There is no reason.
There is no season.

It's just magic.
Is that tragic?
Well poo on you,
If yes came due.

Now where was I?
Oh yes, let the magic fly.
There will be sales by the ton.
Quick, elbow, stab, run.

You have to get two for one.
Your credit card needs to be done.
As in topped off.
Hey, don't scoff.

You need everyone together.
Forget the bad weather.
You all NEED to be there.
Even if you just sit and stare.

Spend money on each other.
Sister, mother, brother.
Oh yeah, dead uncle Ralph too.
He may need a new shoe.

Buy, buy, buy.
Hassle the $8 an hour guy.
That is what they are there for.
It's a magic day at your shore.

Go out and eat.
Get a tasty treat.
Spend $100 a plate.
It's a magic date.

Spend and enjoy.
There is no ploy.
Time together is swell,
No matter where you dwell.

You have to come as one.
It just must always be done.
It's a magic day.
Because I say so, okay?

See, the cat just proved you can do all the crap they want you to do on any day at your zoo. Oh no! I ruined the facade touted high and low. Damn, how rude of me. You mean you can't just get together on Christmas, Easter, Birthdays, etc. at ones sea? You can do that any time? Bah, that's just a crime. Let's wait for our magic day to come to pass. Pffffft says my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A dVerse Philosophy Of What At My Hut!

Been a while since I went the dVerse trail. I figured I don't want to have a Gawker sized fail. Can't be gone forever. Hmm, 5 months is forever an endeavor. What, it's not? Damn, there goes my plot.

Why I do what I do?
Umm, isn't that clear to you?
I'm a crazy nut.
At least I don't sniff a butt.

The voices in my head,
Have to always be fed.
If not I'll go into a rubber room.
Maybe become Dr. Doom?

Yeah, the accent would give me away.
Don't want to wear all that metal at my bay.
Could get rust.
That would be a bust.

Still here asking why?
Okay, I'll give it a try.
I'm a crazy nut.
Whoops, said that at my hut.

Am I on repeat like Al?
Maybe I pissed off HAL.
My computer may eat me.
Hey, it eats time at my sea.

That is philosophical, right?
It won't literally bite.
But it takes a bite out of life.
Hell, a computer can even find you a wife.

Although it may get scary.
She could turn out hairy.
In which case she could be a he.
I'll just leave that be.

Or maybe I won't.
You know I don't.
See? You know a lot.
I don't need to spoil the plot.

The plot of me.
I hang from a tree.
Maybe even upside down.
I'm from crazy town.

What? You didn't get that?
Hey, I'm a rhyming cat.
You must be rather slow.
But at least now you know.

Did that answer all? Hmm, did I stray at my hall? Why would I do that? Hey, I got a why in where I'm at. Am I deflecting at my sea? Am I really all boo hoo hanging from my tree? Wait, would that be shrink stuff? Hmm, this philosophy stuff is tough. I'll leave The Gawker to gawk and stalk. The cat will continue to mock. Why would I do that? I am a cat. But I was really told to by a singing bass. Don't lock away my crazy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Join Hoo Hoo For A Whoopdi Flippin Doo!

The cat is back once more with another at our shore. This time we incorporate a saying as well. Changed friggin with flippin so there is no PTA hell.

Hoo Hoo is wise.
The night he flies.
The day he sleeps.
Until night once more creeps.

Likes it that way.
Then a nuisance comes his way.
A tweet, tweet, tweet.
He just wants it to delete.

Whoopdi flippin doo,
Is said a time or two.
Whoopdi flippin dee,
Also comes to be.

Whoopdi all around.
He stands profound.
The tabbies or trout town may have a fit,
As birds are the star of it.

But whoopdi flippin doo,
Says old Hoo Hoo.
Time for one that is new.
That sure makes a few.









Click Here For A Peer!
Had to at my zoo.

There you are another at my sand bar. Out they just flow and so away I go. That makes 48 kids books at my sea. Two more to hit my goal of fifty hanging from my tree. Now I am done with this pass and it's back to whoopdi friggin doo for my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

All About Self Today On The Shelf!

The cat has seen it far and wide. Humans everywhere take the ride. They are nuts in every way. Who wants to see their nose hair on display? Nasty even to a cat. So let's chew the fat.

Stick it to your eye,
Stick it to your face.
Give it many a try,
Each day's a new embrace.

Take on at work.
Take one of the street.
It is just a perk,
And oh so very neat.

You even get a stick,
For a longer view.
Careful as a brick,
May fall on you.

Little self worth,
Small attention span.
All over the Earth,
Another plight of man.

Even use a mirror,
It will surely shine.
Things can only be clearer,
Who needs to see a spine.

Send to one and all,
Send it to your mother.
Plaster it on every wall,
Get ready for another.

Spread it to a cat,
Spread it to a dog.
That sure it where it's at,
Hell, even use a frog.

Pose in front of this,
Pose in front of that.
Everything is bliss,
As you annoy like a gnat.

Now you must erase,
Now you must do more.
You need more space,
For your next encore.

Show your in your prime,
Show it every second of the day,
It sure is not a crime,
Put another selfie on display.

You humans sure like those things far too much. Far more than once in a blue moon and such. Is there really a point to 50,000,0000 selfies at every joint? Maybe I'll ask the singing bass. He may have an answer for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Little Trot With The I Do Not!

The cat watches humans lie all the time. They do it on a dime. Not sure why they would stand on a dime, but we will go with it for this rhyme. Is there a plot to the I do not?

I do not drive fast.
Like that will last.
You may still go the speed,
But if it says 100mph, that is fast indeed.

I do not eat that,
Unless you are Pat,
You just might.
So many things in one food to another take flight.

I do not walk.
Umm, you want people to gawk?
Do you stand in place and never move?
That has to be one tough groove.

I do not work.
Now that may be a perk.
But unless you sit all day,
Something work wise comes your way.

I do not drink.
Umm, you'd be dead I think.
May not drink liquor at your sea,
But a drinking sure comes to thee.

I do not quit.
Maybe not in a fit.
But if you succeed and are done,
Quitting is now given a run.

I do not read.
What's that at your feed?
You read the stop sign?
Whoops, lied again to the feline.

I do not kill.
Was that an ant hill?
Now you are a killer.
Poor ants became shoe filler.

I do not wait.
Hmm, got an important date?
I do not care.
But you wait every day at your lair.

I do not lie.
Whoops, care for another try?
I don't think that will fly.
Come now, don't cry.

Did the cat trip you up today?  Any more to add to my bay? Such liars humans are far and wide. Do you even know you lied? I am through with my do not sass from my ever so lying little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Gif That Keepings Giving To Those That Are Living!

So the cat had to deal with those small messy humans the other day. Do they really call digging in sand play? The cat has better things to do in sand. Hanging out with them you're likely to catch an ebola strand. Or would that be strain? Either way, the germs rain.


 When they come in view,And the germs won't do,This must be done.Especially if you can't run.
Although it may get hot.New clothes may need to be bought.Maybe take some learning,But no germs could be returning.

 This is a bad way to go.Germs from your own blow.Rubbing them all over your face.Not something you should embrace.
Plus yelling and pointing will make them cry.Then more germs rain from the sky.Or they may kick you.That can hurt too.

This might give a complex,But if you can really flex,It can help out.Flop like a trout.
Avoid the germs in the air.Don't get them in your hair,Or lack there of,As they come down from above.

Or avoid them altogether.Germs and zombies you can weather.Suit up and carry a big stick.Those germs you will lick.
Only take it off when they are gone,Trotting across some other lawn.Maybe your creepy look will scare.Either way, germs won't get in your hair.

See? He agrees.Bet it even stops fleas.Well maybe not,Those fleas can get caught.
So dress to the hilt.Have a suit built.And carry a big stick.Warning, you and the PTA may not click.
Aren't you glad the cat is here to help? Germs don't have to make you yelp. Cover up every place and the tiny humans can't germ you with their embrace. Now I just need something to protect my hair as they pull it with flair. Maybe I'll just pelt them with gas from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Moment Caught That I'll Use A Lot!

Now Pat doesn't usually show himself much, besides his author photo and such. But what the hell. This one was far too swell. I'll have to use it a ton. Nope, not a Photoshopping run. All true as to what's in view.









 
No rhyme?What a crime.Blame a mime,For such a chime.

Or the mutt,
And his smutt.
Where and why?
Damn, he's spry.

Pat did get a new author picture out of us. Cassie wasn't very happy with the fuss. You can tell she is miffed and ready to run. I found it fun. Any good caption's for that one? It had to be used for a full run. Yeah, it didn't rhyme. I was too busy ripping off many a movie chime. Got them all? They were easy ones to give a call. Now I'll go pick on Cass with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.