Pat Hatt's Blog, page 150

To The Mutts With No Nuts!

The cat has to give it up to mutts today. Not that he wants to at his bay. But when ripping off Mary, who has three, the cat has to give the butt sniffers a go at his sea.

You may recall she is bendy.I guess the sniffing is trendy.It has caught on far and wide.In her acts, Mary can take pride.
The butt for scent.Time well spent?Maybe for some,With a nose up a bum.

But a leg humping too?That just won't do.You have no nuts.Such crazy mutts.

No nut mutts sniff butts.That's some kind of ruts.Say it three times fast.Think it's a blast?

Blast of something I suppose,That may perk up a nose.Can't even jump.But they leg hump. See? Can't even get up there.  The cat can do it with time to spare.But they just sit and look.Such needy creatures at every nook.
And they come smaller than a cat.A fluffy hairball cat at that. That's what I call lunch.But they'd make a rather loud crunch.
 Plus they fear a cat.Just watching Cassie do that.Ready to run away,Should Cassie make him pay.
 And they need to fight as a pair. Pffft, I'll just yank the big ones hair.That will sure make him run.Then lunch can be well done.
 One good thing though,About the canine foe,They are well versed in playing dead. But I'll still whack them on the head.
Hmm, was that a rip off or a poke at the mutt? Bah, whatever works we say at our hut. Mary got to show her bendy skills once more. Geez, teaching dogs everywhere how to sniff butts at her shore. That is just crass. But they can sniff my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Round Thirty Seven Plops Out Of Search Engine Heaven!

So we interrupt the rip off chimes for another search engine find from mimes. I mean who else would type such long crap? The cat would want to take a nap.

i go up and never come down as i go higher wrinkles come on your face

A wrinkly face? Hmmm, are you looking at the right place?

cat in snow saying this snow is getting ridiculous

With that we agree. But summer, so no snow near me.

i am not sure. it seems to me, the bird remember the rhyme at all

A bird that can rhyme? The cat will eat it in its prime.

it's always better to be pissed off, than pissed on.

With that we agree, even had a song at our sea.

close the gates you must close the gates walk slowly

What gates would that be? You sound desperate at your sea.

does glitch rhyme with six

Not unless you are Blabber and trying to make things rhyme. You and her are such a crime.

boy railway current wire exident bokaro news

Hmm, that would end bad. Maybe more than a tad.

"furry art" "pee"

All three are nasty to me. Go somewhere else for your art of pee.

to pat the eyes

You want Pat's eyes? That may not be wise.

piss off 2014

Is it better to piss off in that year? Come, tell my rhyming rear.

jugs that jiggle a lot

Do they make things wiggle and wag? You found a cat, what a drag.

Fling pick in spring on a beach

I think such flings would stay hidden as they do other things so urges are ridden.

Special of the today at taco bell

Do I look like a rat dog? You lost in the fog?

My little head can't play

You are telling me this why? Get a blue pill from a Dr. guy.

And the winner of this bunch is sure out to lunch. Maybe literally I suppose. Could have been from his Taco Bell woes. He could not find that so he made due where he is at.

Munching on spotted dick and spooning
I don't even want to think of that. Even if just food, so nasty to the cat. Maybe the cat should just call them a wanker and they'll be on their way? Why would any type that at their bay? Beats the heck out of me. I guess they wanted their spotted dick to fly free. So ends another search engine pass of those who find my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Make A List So Nothing Is Missed!

Time to rip off Blabber and her lists. Has to be ten or her OCD will get pissed. Or she'll just make up some excuse why it wasn't ten. She is good at that at her den. Maybe it's all that shampoo. Anyway, now the top ten list of making top ten lists at my zoo.

1. Don't go on and on like some long con.That means get to the point or it's bye bye readers from your joint.
2.  Make it easy to read there at your feed.So don't whine and go all over the place. You'll get a sad face.
3. Off topic click bait words can get views but you won't make the news.On a beauty blog name dropping Batman won't get you many a new fan.
4. Use the same number scheme and don't change mid stream.One and 2 and C...See how confusing that could be?
5. Stay on task in the topic that you bask.You may really love Batman still. But don't add him when talking about a happy pill.
6. Keep the same design or go clunk your head on a stop sign.Changing color and set up every post will make readers want to give your weenie a roast.
7. Don't add filler, like a video of Thriller.If you can't think of ten do a quick search at your den.
8. Don't copy and paste. That is just a time waste.Plus called plagiarism I think, unless you're Shia or the missing link.
9. Don't be a drone at the sound of the tone.If you are boring you may soon hear snoring.
10. Make sure your facts are right, as right as they can be in the daylight.Don't just pull them from your ass. Although some of those can hold quite the mass.
11. Don't add an extra one. When done, be done.Whoops! I failed that rule. Does Blabber's OCD think it cool?
There you are. Aren't I so great at my sand bar? You got a top ten list with eleven. That has to be some kind of heaven. Blabber may not think so. But the cat will let her hot air blow. Whoops, did I type that? I'm such a mean cat. The cat can take any sass. It is loved by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Back In Time With This Rip Off Chime!

The two light hearted fools are back in another book at my shack. This time a Tarsier Man villain comes after the two. Another adventure, what else is new? The cat comes along and the artist is new for their trip back to the land of King Kong.


They sat with the spotted cat.He knew where it was at.Not sure they knew though,That it was a giant litter box where I go.

Then came the buffoon,From a bad Tarsier Man cartoon.I really hate that baboon.He couldn't defeat a spoon. 

The sun got bright.Maybe Truedessa's sparkly fart light?Or could be some sort of hole,Sending them back in time for a stroll.

Yep, back in time.Dinos give a chime.Those things are big.Rather deal with a triple snout pig.

They had to change,Match in with the rest on the range.Look at the Arnold wannabe.Maybe Tarzan wannabe? Beats me.

Super bugs came due.They are hated at my zoo.But these ones were as ugly as can be.They wouldn't be eaten by me.

And of course the loon.He has been in many a cartoon.Sometimes good, sometimes bad.Here Duke Drazin was obviously mad.

They had invaded his pad.Stopped his latest evil fad.He was not glad.Did I mention he was mad?

But he ran away.And left us to play.Play the Tarzan wannabe did.Umm no clothes did they rid.

And once more in sand,Got to love giant litter box land.Click here for a peer.Note, may be more to the story than told by my little rhyming rear.
And so that makes another kids books at my sea. I am getting very close to 50. One day that shall come to pass as the books continue to amass. Plus, unlike the novels of Pat, they have a rhyming class. That sure works for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Blue Balls And Cat Calls!

The cat has to go after the Blue Guy once more. It is just a necessity at my shore. When the cat was lurking at his place the other day, I saw a display. Hmmm, this may be a bit more than PG. If you were to go gutter at your sea.


 Do your balls hang low?Do they bounce as you go?Do they wiggle with a turn?Do they get a sun burn?
Do they speak to you?Do answers come through?Do they get a new view?Are your balls oh so blue?
 Blue as the sea.Blue as a Kree.Blue as a balloon,Or a smurf cartoon?
Are your balls blue?Have they forsaken you?Do they have a clue?Are your balls oh so blue?
 Do your balls hang high?Do they constantly die?Do they hide with a wink?Do they constantly blink?
Do they come as a set?Do they fear a furry pet?Do they stick like glue?Are your balls oh so blue?
Blue as a copper.Blue as a cake topper.Blue as a pen.Blue as other men.
Are your balls blue?Have you looked a time or two,To see if it is true?Are your balls oh so blue?
Do your balls hang in the middle?Do they fall when you fiddle? Do they break with a diddle?Do they remind you of a riddle?
Do they hide when you mingle,Or hear the sound of a jingle?Do they spread hope anew?Are your balls oh so blue?

Pfffft, what did you think the cat was talking about? Wait, don't answer that with a shout. The blue guy was just getting all ready for the Christmas season. He wanted to know whether your balls are blue for some reason. Noooo, this was not made up by the cat. I would never do that. Hmmm, maybe it has come to pass. I will never tell with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Facts For Score At My Shore!

A little fact for today as we rip off Adam's bay. Fact of the day? Hmm, still work with facts on display? Plural it is with the fact biz. I'll let you judge that. I'm too busy of a cat.

Floors can leave dirt on your feet.
My, isn't that oh so neat.
The litter box can smell.
Shhh, don't tell.

Dating is a pain.
Might pop a vein.
Dogs sniff butts.
Are they in ruts?

Food costs money.
Whether cloudy or sunny.
A drunk had to drink.
Unless they're the missing link.

What you see on TV is fake.
Damn, maybe not an earthquake.
The sun can shine.
Not news to the feline.

Water is wet.
Wow, a safe bet.
A window let's you see.
Not if one way or blocked from thee.

Doors open up.
So watch your cup.
A cup can break.
No need to hit it with a rake.

Raccoons steal stuff.
They do it in the buff.
A cat tree should be high.
No small ones for this guy.

This month has 31 days.
I'll wait while you gaze.
Waiting is a boredom maker.
So I won't be a partaker.

Cars need gas.
At least most of the mass.
A 9-5 job will suck.
Not all the time if you have any luck.

Luck is a made up human word.
As said, it's absurd.
Adam finds better ones.
Mine may give you the runs.

Aren't you in the know now? The cat is so helpful it is just, wow! Hmm, maybe not. Unless you suffer from brain rot. Then they may be news to you. Fact is, I was being a smart ass at my zoo. Did it shine through? Maybe a time or two? Either way, enjoy the fact mass from my fact finding little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Battle Encore At My Shore!

So the cat will join on in, err umm, rip off farawayeyes at his bin. For I may be late or early and make the rule people squirrely. But the cat doesn't follow rules. Anyway, time to rip off some band duels. Or maybe a pick of three at my sea. I cheat, but what else do you expect from me?

Do you know a dickhead?
They can cause dread.
While with this one,
You can have some fun.

Send it to them all.
Post it on your wall.
And they will get the hint.
They won't be blinded by tint.

A dickhead is what they are.
No need to hit them with your car.
Stay away from the slammer,
And put down the hammer.


Love the celebrities at your sea?
While turn on your TV.
Or maybe just hit this one.
For it can give you some fun.

A reality tv nut?
Get off your but.
Watch it give them dread,
With everything that is said.

Some I didn't know.
I guess I'm slow.
Or have more to do,
Then watch idiots in view.


Filled with hate?
Such a bad fate.
But can be a trait,
That adds to your plate.

A big list,
Not to be missed.
Just keep adding away,
There at your bay.

Give a little hate.
Even if you just ate.
Let the hate flow.
It can easily grow.


So number one or two or three?
Which ones is tops for thee?
Do they all get hate?
Guess #3 is your fate.

Now the cat has ripped off the battle once more with this encore. Yeah, I'm a big fat cheater. At least I'm not an over eater. So bring the hate. I can sit and wait. Done with the Hate, Dickhead and Celebrity sass. Now I'm done battling with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Trapper For The Crapper?

Another rip off at my sea. She has a big name that may confuse thee. Manzanita sure could scare. Maybe it is that glare? It sure beats the cat but I'm sure there is something else to that.

Scary thoughts.
Can bring lots.
Here and there,
Without a care.

Or maybe with a care?
I'm not that aware.
At least I'll pretend,
With no need to amend.

That come with age?
Ask the bird cage.
Oh right I ate those.
Such crazy woes.

I went to the crapper,
After being a trapper.
A bird in a cage is a trap,
Right into my yap.

There they were,
Hanging off my fur.
They were given to me,
But little old thee.

Humans have more,
But they just ignore.
One thousand or two,
You've got a few.

They have their fill,
And live on your will.
Yummy, they say,
Come what may.

Feed and feed.
Those in need?
I guess that works,
As you feed the jerks.

The cat was warned by her,
They sure don't make you purr.
There they show like rice.
But no need to think twice.

Worms are in my rear.
Worms are coming near.
In the litter box they peer.
Those things can really leer.

At least you humans can flush yours away and pretend you don't have any at your bay. Guess what though? You do. But that I've already told you. No birds were harmed in the making of this rhyme. Thankfully it has been a while since worms dropped a dime. Then Pat has to clean the whole litter, that can make him bitter. So make them come out each lad and lass. The ten cents worth from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Creation To Your Elation?

The cat has to rip off Birgit at her sea. She likes to create with glee. So the cat thought he would create. Hmmm, art is not my fate. Stick people count, do they? I know what you are going to say. But it won't matter when I'm through. For you will like the creation at my zoo.


Stare into the eyes.They tell no lies.The truth you shall see.They are watching thee.
Nope, not the NSA.They watch every day.The eyes of rainbow twirl,Are watching every guy and girl.
They watch you when you sleep.They watch you in a laundry heap.They watch you at the park.They watch you leave your mark.
You can't escape their sight.They get you day or night.Even when you don't want them to.They see what you do.
So sit back and relax.They don't charge a tax.They are just a peeper.Even if you found a keeper.
Go to that happy place.Put a smile on your face.Get ready to see the best.It tops all the rest.
You will now be in awe.This is without a flaw.The cat can sure create.Come and take the bait.
Just a little longer.Let the power of the eyes get stronger.They need to suck you in.Take the eyes for one more spin.
Are you good and relaxed?Not too over taxed?Now, just keep it that way.And look at this wonderful display.

It is the great thingy! Isn't it so umm springy?Don't you love the thingy?I call it, Thingy in a Dingy!
See? The cat can create. Isn't that just top rate? What is that you say? The trippy image didn't make you like my thingy on display? How rude is that? Hmm, Birgit may be better at it than the cat. But my Thingy in a Dingy will live on. At least until a new post at dawn. This could be taken so crass. Oh well, says my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A That And This You Can't Miss!

Time for That and This. Saying it that way causes Betsy such bliss. Hmm, maybe reverse that? Bah, no need from the cat. A rip offing I will go with a That and This show.


Did you know, Boogers can grow,When humans glow?Avoid a booger foe.

Humans acting scary,Against things that are hairy,Will never ever work.Avoid that perk.

Eat too much fruit,Not only will you toot,But you'll turn into one.A big orange head is no fun.

Impress a pig,It will dance a jig.Then it will grow a nose or two.Doesn't that impress you?

A mutt is big and brave,It will rant and rave.Or bark and rave.Chasing toys to an early grave.

A troll can slam a door.It's their favorite chore.Slam it and hit you on the head.That ought to bring dread.

Cats stick together.Even in rough weather.Giant cat and human cat.What do you think of that?

Cats are very strong.Sometimes all can get along.Even with the bug eyed creep. Into a black hole they'll leap.

Goats tend to get grumpy,When rednecks get humpy.Oh wait, sorry about that.It's when you mock them like a cat.

And people stop and stare,When they become fully aware.Aware of what you ask? That fat ass you can't mask.
There is my that and this for today. Enjoy the that and this display? Was that a cheesy attempt at showing off books? Bah, I'm ripping off blog nooks. That is the main thing there. Bug a goat or troll if you dare. They may give you more than sass. Trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.