Pat Hatt's Blog, page 147

An Easy Way To Cause Dismay!

The cat sees it everywhere as he sits and gives a glare. From NWO crap to cartoons, books and movies across the map. Some crazy nut job wants to take over the world, they give an evil laugh with their lips curled. But they always go big and in a deep hole they dig.

Let's take over.
Rule human and rover.
I'm so evil I deserve to win.
I will do all others in.

Just look at my big big big thing.
It is so threatening at every wing.
Run from my big big big thing.
Can't you hear the death toll ring?

The bigger I go the more I win.
So just bow down at your bin.
Don't stop and stare.
Succumb to my evil glare.

Apocalypse deserves respect.
Don't give Thanos any neglect.
Bowser wants it too.
So does James Bond Villain 52.

Hans Gruber will get his way.
Loki will come out to play.
Tempestra will hit the trail.
Moriarty sure won't fail.

All shall rule.
They are no fool.
Those good guys will lose,
As they all abuse.

Oh wait!
Losing is their fate.
How can that be?
We had a big big big thingy.

Hmm that sounds wrong,
But just follow along.
Or you could join them in jail,
If you give such a showing a sail.

Anyway, they all lose.
The good guys take a cruise.
They can't take over the world.
Their evil lips are no longer curled.

When all you have to do,
Is really get a clue.
Throw the big big big thingy away,
And just steal all the coffee from bay to bay.

There you have it all. If you want to rule each and every hall. Steal the coffee from all over the Earth. You will now own something of worth. Addicted humans everywhere will bow at your feet. No one will leave you in defeat. You will be ruler whether happy or crass. Well at least of 99% of the population like that Betsy lass, who drinks coffee in mass, unlike my non coffee drinking little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Only Sure Isn't Lonely!

The cat watches people throw that word around a ton. And guess what? They usually lie to everyone. That is right. The only people are liars day and night. Don't believe me? Just wait and see.

It will only take a few minutes to do.
Pffft, hour later at your zoo,
You are still doing whatever it is.
You fell for the only biz.

It only costs a little more.
Pffft, and you take it out the door.
Meanwhile the salesman just got richer.
Only was thrown out by the pitcher.

I only wanted to tell you...
Here it comes in view.
They want something,
With their only ring.

If only you'd listen to me.
Then my ears wouldn't be free.
I want to get away.
No more only dismay.

I only have eyes for you.
Says the cheater when your in view.
Then, whoopsy, eyes for another.
I only hope it's not your brother.

I only like it that way.
Means tough luck for you at your bay.
I won't take it like that.
I'm only a picky cat.

I only have one left.
Whether or not it has heft,
It means they will not share.
Sorry, not even if they care.

I only wish you well.
Pffft, turn around and they damn you to hell.
All about poor pitiful me.
And they were left by thee.

I only do this at this time.
A familiar chime.
Means they have ocd.
Like Pat and Cassie.

I only have a little time.
Means they'd rather hang with a mime.
They don't want to be there.
If only you were aware.

Do you think only is lonely? If only. Only gets a lot of play. I guess it is the only thing some can say. Am I only being cynical at my sea? Sure beats little old me. If only I could pass this gas, then I'd be a happy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

And Now Four Has Taken The Tour!

What's today? Is it something at my bay? Hmm, it could be. Can it be guessed by thee? If you are wrong the cat may rub it in. But you are used the that at my looney bin.

Could it be the birthday of the cat?
He would like that.
Chicken by the hunk.
Or steak could go kerplunk.

Maybe Cassie's birthday.
She doesn't care anyway.
Allergies keep her from getting chicken.
Don't want her allergy stricken.

Pat's you know it is not.
Or 24 posts a day would be the plot.
Maybe that you did not know.
If so, wait until March for the show.

A blogger that is out there,
Getting made fun of at my lair?
Do you see a name?
Not even a Gawker claim.

The anniversary of the blog,
When the cat cleared the fog,
And made it crystal clear,
That he had a rhyming rear?

Maybe Pat got a mutt,
Here at our hut.
The cat would tell you that,
And pelt it with scat.

Pat brought home a female?
That would be a fail.
The cat would run her out.
Can't have my trout.

We have to go to that other sea?
That would bring no glee.
Cats and dogs reside everywhere.
We hate that other lair.

Maybe I'm screwing with you?
Have you figured it out at your zoo?
It's been the same time every year.
This is the 4th time for my rhyming rear.

What could it be?
Should I tell thee?
It's four years in a row,
Without missing a post at my show.

Did you guess that? You can admit it to the cat. It is okay to guess the cat is moving to Timbuktu. Although that will never come due. One year to go and then met my goal at my show. Will I stick to everyday after that? We shall see at my blog mat. I will still have tons of sass, so you can count on my everyday little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Goal Has Been Foiled, You've Been Spoiled!

So the cat saw a person yapping the other day that they got spoiled at their bay. But it was for a thirty year old movie or so. Umm too bad that they didn't know?

Spoiled is a way of life.
Maybe some pampered wife.
Or spoiled husband I suppose.
Each can smell like a rose.

Spoiled that we have things.
Spoiled with a door bell that rings.
Spoiled that we have a car.
Spoiled having roads with tar.

Spoiled is a way of life.
Yet we still whine about the strife.
Live somewhere else and boom,
You'd realize not doom and gloom.

Spoiled with a light switch.
Spoiled we don't sleep in a ditch.
Well unless you are a rat.
But then they are used to that.

Spoiled near and far.
Spoiled by a corner bar.
Even with prices sky high,
Spoiled is the correct cry.

But that we don't see.
That stuff is free.
Now the good old TV,
Those spoilers are scary.

You know who done it.
You know every good bit.
Heck, just watch a trailer on Youtube,
And you can solve the Rubik's cube.

Something that is new,
I can see a boo hoo.
But who went online looking?
Sorry, only one pilot per booking.

Now to whine about 30 years ago,
Even if the fact/movie/whatever you don't know,
Gets a big whoopdi friggin doo,
Not everyone can bite their tongue around you.

Spoilers prove your spoiled.
For you have easily toiled.
Found the spoilers online.
Internet access is just divine.

Not sure how spoilers became spoiled today, but I went with it anyway. So do you think spoilers have an expiration date? Too bad if some want to give hate. 30 years in the past and you don't know? Well maybe your ducks aren't in a row. New can still be new if it has not be seen, but you can't expect everyone to keep a spoiler free forever scene. So if some spoilers come from my daily sass, tough luck says my spoiled little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Don't Be Lazy Instead Turn Up The Crazy!

Another tune got stuck in Pat's head and so we have another we needed to put to bed. This one isn't as long as our Whose Hairball Is It Anyway. Those take forever at our bay.


Rough day, slow night.
Not an end to it in sight.
Long year, short life,
Carved out with a dull knife.

The days are blending in and it looks like this is it.
I hope you don't just bow down and submit.

Turn up the crazy,
Drop the worry, drop the fear
Turn up the crazy,
Drop your baggage, shake your rear.
Turn up the crazy,
Drop the blues, shift the gear.

Stop sign, no way.
Nothings going to make you stay.
Rolled eyes, loose lips,
By those still following scripts.

Walking a new beat you finally hear your tune.
To their glares you are now immune.

Turn up the crazy,
Dance around with a spoon.
Turn up the crazy,
Howl at the moon
Turn up the crazy,
Shedding the constricting cocoon.

Great day, long night,
Not an end to it in sight.
Short year, full life,
Carved out with a sharp knife.

The days are speeding by and always bring something new.
All because you spread your wings and flew.

Turn up the crazy,
Who cares if they don't agree.
Turn up the crazy,
Find the joy, forget the decree.
Turn up the crazy,
Be the you you want to be.

Turn up the crazy,
Drop the worry, drop the fear
Turn up the crazy,
Drop your baggage, shake your rear.
Turn up the crazy,
And look, a new life is here.
Ready to turn up the crazy at your sea? Are you already as crazy as me? That might be bad. You could get thrown in a rubber room pad. Hey, at least it's free rent. Although they may try and get you to repent. Can't have that. Turn up the crazy with the cat. Go and sing with a singing bass. That will make you crazy like my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Can Shock With The Clock!

So the cat was off doing this and that the other day when he ran into an argument at another bay. He took it in as it was sure going to get a blog spin. Plus it was soooo dumb. That I had to use it and then some.

What is that?
That's not a thing.
You fell flat.
Go have a fling.

Counter clockwise is a thing.
It is backwards around the clock.
No all have an alarm ring,
Or an iphone charging dock.

Digital clocks are all that is used,
Unless you have some antique clock.
So while I'm amused,
Clockwise is not a lock.

It is to a thing.
The clock goes around.
Don't be a dingaling.
Clocks everywhere are found.

Point to one ancient clock.
I dare you do to so.
Easier to find a holey sock.
Now let your fake thing go.

Clockwise is true.
Counterclockwise is too.
You have a loose screw.
With a brain in a loo.

Nope, not real.
You made it up.
What a sad ordeal.
I'd like what's in your cup.

You are stupid, you know that?
All that weed you smoke.
Stop being a dingbat.
Maybe hold back on a toke.

You are in the digital age.
Stop using fake words.
Turn the century page.
Otherwise, tell it to the birds.

Clockwise is true.
Counterclockwise is too.
Idiots can't learn nothing new,
As proven by you.

Yep, sadly the nut really acted like he believed there was no such thing. He must have had one too many joints at his wing. The idiot denied until he was blue in the face. I guess digital is truly his embrace. Seen an "ancient" clock come to pass? Humans are so stupid to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Another Book Crime Without Any Rhyme!

Pat is hijacking the cat's rhyming once more. He has yet another book that doesn't rhyme out at our shore. It is book 6 in his series that started the novel run. That sure is a ton.

Click Here For A Peer!
Jeremiah and Orlin's adventure continues in book six with A Not So Natural World. Things have become comfortable for the first time since the two sides collided. The odd squabble with the Nothing is all the pair have had to deal with. Until an old foe, who they thought had perished, resurfaces. Now the boundaries between good and evil get pushed for everyone as Jeremiah's super powered, music activated nanites get hijacked.
Through Jeremiah's actions a chain reaction is set in motion that no one can stop. With robotic forces on the rise, a world on the edge of being consumed and his friends not sure if they can save him, Jeremiah's fate and the fate of Earth's time fraction lie in his and Orlin's hands.
Unlikely heroes arise, old foes become allies, new foes are set upon them, secrets are revealed and the end of a long journey comes to a close, as Jeremiah and Orlin fight for themselves, their family and the fate of the entire human population left alive on Earth.
That is right.
The cat stars in this fight.
I have super powers too.
You can't find that at a zoo.

There is even a cannibal in there.
She sure does scare.
Damn Nothing are full of strat.
Bat strat crazy says the cat.

Now the non rhyme book promo is through and we can get back to the norm at our zoo. Pat and his non rhyme stuff can make rhyming tough. Pffft, for anyone but me. Okay, now I'm done at my sea. I will leave with no more sass. I'll just wiggle away with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Was Irish Air Right At My Site?

So a while ago in a comment below, Anne came up from her paint fume high and gave a comment cry. Obviously, since I said comment below. But I explained it all for those that are slow. What did she say? Something that made a post for today.

That way when people show up, you're still a bit of a novelty to them. Especially you, as you blog as the Cat. I mean really, who in the hell would be interested in that arsemonkey Pat?

Geez, the nicest thing she ever said to the cat.Who really cares about Pat?He is so boring.But at least, unlike the blue guy, there is no snoring.

The cat can jump high.The cat can rhyme on every try.The cat can make Pat clean his shit.The cat is in control every bit.

Pat is just lame.Even with a rhyming name.Yep, just lame.He is far too tame.

He sleeps when it's dark.His claws can't leave a mark.You know a scar is a good reminder,Don't stick your arms in a kitty grinder.
I can sink to new lows,And still strike a pose.He has to pick up after me.I make him run like a busy bee.
He has to work.Sleeping during the day is my perk.I don't have to make a dime,And still I have huge cat towers I can climb.

Pat does numbers,While we're in our slumbers.Cassie isn't as lame.A little though as she is an ocd dame.

Wait, numbers and work is the same.Didn't I tell you he was lame?This makes it hard to rhyme.But at least he isn't a mime.

He even has to work out.I can just run about,Then my exercise is done.I have more time for fun.

So Anne was right.Good thing Pat doesn't run this site.Did I say Irish Air was right?Damn, did those paint fumes make their way to my site? 

Aren't you glad it isn't run by Pat? You'd get accounting at our blog mat. I suppose tax season it may be a perk. The cat is so glad he never has to work. I can just put up a rhyme and sleep for a time. Be glad you have the cat's sass and his little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Could Is Misunderstood!

So the cat heard another saying for the thousandth time the other day. Humans really like to use them with what they say. It is another reverse of what is true. Such lies you humans say at your zoo.

What was that?
Say it clear.
Come on, dingbat.
Perk up my ear.

Oh, that was it?
Why bother telling me?
Who needs that shit.
Now I set you free.

Why is that?
Because I'm through.
We chewed the fat,
Time for something new.

Simply put though,
In case I wasn't clear,
Listen to my flow,
Stick out your ear.

I couldn't care less.
No caring at all.
Who needs that mess?
Read the writing on the wall.

I couldn't care less,
About what you said.
I won't confess,
Even on my death bed.

I couldn't care less,
If you think I cared.
The off switch I press,
You have been spared.

I couldn't care less,
I'll say it one more time.
Just in case you didn't guess,
That I care more about a mime.

Couldn't = could?
Say it isn't so.
It's not misunderstood.
Who cares if I wanted to know.

I couldn't care less,
If couldn't = could.
This isn't some game of chess,
Knock on wood.

The cat even threw in another saying at the end. Superstitious crap may have been fed. But could I care less? Nope, I confess. Does that mean I care? I never asked you at my lair. Could you care less? Is this one big mind mess? It is okay to give sass to my caring, yeah right, little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Many Choices For You Sure Come Due!

Are you looking to move at your zoo? Do you hate town name changes that come due? Now you don't have to worry about that, all thanks to the cat.

If Springfield is your town,
There is no need to frown.
You have 41 you can live in.
Which of the 41 will win?

If Chester is so grand.
There are 24 across the land.
I added one close by.
Here, that is where you find the rich, no lie.

Milton has at least 21.
So you can have fun.
One an hour or two away from me.
Does Milton give you glee?

Madison is everywhere.
So run away from your lair.
25 choices to choose from.
I bet they all have rum.

Greenville is all around.
At least 22 can be found.
Do you want to live where it is green?
Think they all are a pretty scene?

Salem has them witches.
They scream at high pitches.
So if that is your thing.
21 places you can hear their ring.

Washington sounds so grand.
The windbags gather across the land.
Well at least for 1 of the 24.
Care to give the other 23 a tour?

George really gets around.
Maybe he humps like a hound?
For of Georgetown there are 21.
George just likes to have fun.

Franklin is another one,
That has tons of fun.
I guess that turtle can walk fast.
24 of him in the cast.

And the one you know got around,
So this won't really astound.
Clinton is the name of 26 spots.
Of course he got around lots.

This is just in the US alone. Sure many more have a similar tone. Like the few I knew were here. Ready to get moving into gear? Ever move to a town with the same name as your last one? That might be kind of fun. Could be confusing and give some gas, but that wouldn't bother my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.