Pat Hatt's Blog, page 148
September 10, 2015
Rules To Date And Confuse Your Mate!
A while back, the rules of dating were brought up at my shack. As in there are so many damn rules because there are so many dating fools. The cat had to give that a go, not sorry if I sink low.
Dating is the name of the game.
A game that is far from sane.
It can be anything but tame.
But you could be singing in the rain.
There are those who take it slow.
They might date once a week.
There are those who want it to grow,
And are certainly not for the meek.
There are those who love you on first contact,
In which case you may want to run away fast.
There are those who take a year to come to that fact,
In which case if you wait that long it may last.
There are those that want a thrill.
The old humpity hump fits the bill.
There are those who wait until they get the ring,
Not up for a single fling.
There are those who want friends first.
Friends they have up the ass.
There are those who have a big thirst.
Wanting a buddy to drink with in mass.
There are those who want your dough.
A gold digger with their shovel all ready.
There are those who would rather love grow,
And be poor with no income that is steady.
There are those that date two at at time,
Maybe they will even get up to five.
There are those who dating one is a crime,
Alone is how they really want to survive.
There are those who lie to your face.
They think you ever the fool.
There are those who are truthful with every embrace.
They must have caught hell in school.
There are those who want to procreate the next day,
In which case run faster far far away.
There are those who want none come what may,
No tie downs so they can travel and play.
Dating is the name of the game.
A game that is far from sane.
It can be anything but tame.
Did I mention it's a pain?
Only rule is there are no stuck rules. There will be so many fools. It can really be a mess. Date more not less? Is that a rule? Beats this fool. The cat is glad he's snip snip because then I can just give lip. I will sit back and watch the dating class. Much less painful to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Dating is the name of the game.
A game that is far from sane.
It can be anything but tame.
But you could be singing in the rain.
There are those who take it slow.
They might date once a week.
There are those who want it to grow,
And are certainly not for the meek.
There are those who love you on first contact,
In which case you may want to run away fast.
There are those who take a year to come to that fact,
In which case if you wait that long it may last.
There are those that want a thrill.
The old humpity hump fits the bill.
There are those who wait until they get the ring,
Not up for a single fling.
There are those who want friends first.
Friends they have up the ass.
There are those who have a big thirst.
Wanting a buddy to drink with in mass.
There are those who want your dough.
A gold digger with their shovel all ready.
There are those who would rather love grow,
And be poor with no income that is steady.
There are those that date two at at time,
Maybe they will even get up to five.
There are those who dating one is a crime,
Alone is how they really want to survive.
There are those who lie to your face.
They think you ever the fool.
There are those who are truthful with every embrace.
They must have caught hell in school.
There are those who want to procreate the next day,
In which case run faster far far away.
There are those who want none come what may,
No tie downs so they can travel and play.
Dating is the name of the game.
A game that is far from sane.
It can be anything but tame.
Did I mention it's a pain?
Only rule is there are no stuck rules. There will be so many fools. It can really be a mess. Date more not less? Is that a rule? Beats this fool. The cat is glad he's snip snip because then I can just give lip. I will sit back and watch the dating class. Much less painful to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 9, 2015
Travel Far To This Sand Bar!
Want to go on a fun trip? The cat has another place for you that you can zip. Just follow along with me and you'll be planning your next trip by the sea. Hmm, don't trust the cat? There may be something to that.
In this place you will have plenty to see.There is many a huge tree.There are green leaves too.Oh yeah, the other thing in view.
There are dolls hanging from many a tree.It is rather creepy if you ask me.But if you love dolls a ton,Go to Isla de las Munecas for some fun.
Some who have been there have a claim.It is far from tame.They claim the dolls have whispered in their ear,When they have gotten near.
Chucky for real?That is a sweet deal.Could star in your own horror movie.Wouldn't that be groovy?
A girl supposedly drowned there,And the dolls came by the pair.Her spirit possesses them all.That is a lot of possessing at ones stall.
But the dolls aren't just naked as can be.Nope! They have decapitated heads for all to see. They are missing limbs and eyes too.Don't you want to go for a view?
Some think they are threatening in their stance.I suppose that could be true upon first glance.But unless they really go all Chucky,You'll be just fine and ducky.
And if you don't hang a doll up,You may suffer a hiccup.The spirit may haunt you,Until you add a creepy doll for all to view.
Creepy doll land.Come, put your toes in the sand.Who needs Bora Bora anyway.Here with creepy dolls you can play.
Ready to take that trip?Board a bus, plane or ship?You may never return though,Just so you know.
Is Isla de las Munecas your next destination spot? Don't you want to see creepy dolls rot? They only have eyes for you. What? I'm sure it is true. If they have eyes that is. Otherwise you may have to settle for nose biz. At least they can smell your gas. Report back how it goes to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
In this place you will have plenty to see.There is many a huge tree.There are green leaves too.Oh yeah, the other thing in view.
There are dolls hanging from many a tree.It is rather creepy if you ask me.But if you love dolls a ton,Go to Isla de las Munecas for some fun.
Some who have been there have a claim.It is far from tame.They claim the dolls have whispered in their ear,When they have gotten near.
Chucky for real?That is a sweet deal.Could star in your own horror movie.Wouldn't that be groovy?
A girl supposedly drowned there,And the dolls came by the pair.Her spirit possesses them all.That is a lot of possessing at ones stall.
But the dolls aren't just naked as can be.Nope! They have decapitated heads for all to see. They are missing limbs and eyes too.Don't you want to go for a view?
Some think they are threatening in their stance.I suppose that could be true upon first glance.But unless they really go all Chucky,You'll be just fine and ducky.
And if you don't hang a doll up,You may suffer a hiccup.The spirit may haunt you,Until you add a creepy doll for all to view.
Creepy doll land.Come, put your toes in the sand.Who needs Bora Bora anyway.Here with creepy dolls you can play.
Ready to take that trip?Board a bus, plane or ship?You may never return though,Just so you know.
Is Isla de las Munecas your next destination spot? Don't you want to see creepy dolls rot? They only have eyes for you. What? I'm sure it is true. If they have eyes that is. Otherwise you may have to settle for nose biz. At least they can smell your gas. Report back how it goes to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 8, 2015
We Go Absurd With Anatomy Of A Word!
The cat watches you humans get wordy every day. Hell, I use your words at my bay. But that doesn't mean I don't see what you do. You go all body part at your zoo. Don't believe me? Just sit back and see.
That's a load of crap.
He got a bum rap.
Bum in a wrapper?
Diaper instead of crapper?
It will never fail.
Give me a cocktail.
Should I go there?
Might lead to cock fighting at my lair.
If you want this to cease,
Add in some elbow grease.
Damn that says my OCD.
Grease on an elbow is just nasty.
He had such good will,
That he was able to foot the bill.
He stomped on the bill?
That sure isn't goodwill.
No need to beg,
I was just pulling your leg.
Umm, I would have noticed that.
I am a four legged cat.
You get the crown.
You win, hands down.
Wouldn't you want to cheer?
Hands up would be more clear.
You never should have lingered,
As you just got fingered.
Hmm, was it enjoyable at least?
Nature of the beast.
I bet they are never numb,
Just look at that beach bum.
So you have a sandy ass?
Damn, hope a cat doesn't trespass.
Seen with the naked eye,
Something that was a me, oh my.
So eyes have clothes too?
Damn, no fashion sense at my zoo.
Whether far or near,
You can have someone's ear.
Did you chop it off?
That someone may scoff.
Does anatomy get a bum rap? I could go on all day with your anatomy trap. But I won't bend your ear. That may give you a bottoms up rear. We may not see eye to eye. I blame the tall or short guy. I just hope you have enough class that you never finger my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
That's a load of crap.
He got a bum rap.
Bum in a wrapper?
Diaper instead of crapper?
It will never fail.
Give me a cocktail.
Should I go there?
Might lead to cock fighting at my lair.
If you want this to cease,
Add in some elbow grease.
Damn that says my OCD.
Grease on an elbow is just nasty.
He had such good will,
That he was able to foot the bill.
He stomped on the bill?
That sure isn't goodwill.
No need to beg,
I was just pulling your leg.
Umm, I would have noticed that.
I am a four legged cat.
You get the crown.
You win, hands down.
Wouldn't you want to cheer?
Hands up would be more clear.
You never should have lingered,
As you just got fingered.
Hmm, was it enjoyable at least?
Nature of the beast.
I bet they are never numb,
Just look at that beach bum.
So you have a sandy ass?
Damn, hope a cat doesn't trespass.
Seen with the naked eye,
Something that was a me, oh my.
So eyes have clothes too?
Damn, no fashion sense at my zoo.
Whether far or near,
You can have someone's ear.
Did you chop it off?
That someone may scoff.
Does anatomy get a bum rap? I could go on all day with your anatomy trap. But I won't bend your ear. That may give you a bottoms up rear. We may not see eye to eye. I blame the tall or short guy. I just hope you have enough class that you never finger my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 7, 2015
Microaggressions At Play Here Today!
Humans are pathetic as can be. Boo hoo he or she said a bad thing to me. Get the hell over it. No need to throw a fit. Do such people really matter in the end? Nope! So don't be a moron and go around the bend.
Microaggressions are new.
They will protect me and you.
They will keep you from being sad.
Now poor, poor you won't get mad.
"Where were you born?"
Oopsy, I tooted the wrong horn.
That is a microaggression from me.
Damn, I better turn and flee.
"What is that you got there?"
Oh no, it was like I said a swear.
Now I'm in deep microaggression shit.
How will I ever get out of it?
"I like your shoes."
Wow, I made the news.
I shunned another persons shoes.
My microaggression gave them the blues.
"How old are you?"
Damn it to hell at my zoo.
That could be a microaggression as well.
I'm going straight to hell.
"Did you exercise today?"
Whoops, that I can't say.
A microaggression is now near.
Fat shaming maybe also kick into gear.
"Is that cat hair on your shirt?"
Oh no, a microaggression flirt.
It might have been dog hair.
Damn, I'm doomed at my lair.
"What did you say?"
I wasn't paying attention at my bay.
That is a microaggression indeed.
Damn me for making you repeat yourself at your feed.
"Do you have a job?"
I turned the wrong door knob.
A microaggression is at play.
Oh the humanity and dismay.
"Why don't you kiss my ass?"
Now I'm offensive to the class.
Well at least it was meant to be.
On this microaggression nonsense and moronic humans that need to be babied I take a big fat pee.
Hear of microaggression at your sea? Better watch out, any question may lead you on an offending spree. Those poor, poor emotionally strung out humans can't take that. Pfffffft is what they get from the cat. If you take offense to everything from everyone no matter who you are then you are the moron by far. Not everyone is trying to offend little old you. Most people have much, much better things to do. So get a grip and stop the poor pitiful me whiny trip. Now I am through with my sass and passing microaggressions out my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Microaggressions are new.
They will protect me and you.
They will keep you from being sad.
Now poor, poor you won't get mad.
"Where were you born?"
Oopsy, I tooted the wrong horn.
That is a microaggression from me.
Damn, I better turn and flee.
"What is that you got there?"
Oh no, it was like I said a swear.
Now I'm in deep microaggression shit.
How will I ever get out of it?
"I like your shoes."
Wow, I made the news.
I shunned another persons shoes.
My microaggression gave them the blues.
"How old are you?"
Damn it to hell at my zoo.
That could be a microaggression as well.
I'm going straight to hell.
"Did you exercise today?"
Whoops, that I can't say.
A microaggression is now near.
Fat shaming maybe also kick into gear.
"Is that cat hair on your shirt?"
Oh no, a microaggression flirt.
It might have been dog hair.
Damn, I'm doomed at my lair.
"What did you say?"
I wasn't paying attention at my bay.
That is a microaggression indeed.
Damn me for making you repeat yourself at your feed.
"Do you have a job?"
I turned the wrong door knob.
A microaggression is at play.
Oh the humanity and dismay.
"Why don't you kiss my ass?"
Now I'm offensive to the class.
Well at least it was meant to be.
On this microaggression nonsense and moronic humans that need to be babied I take a big fat pee.
Hear of microaggression at your sea? Better watch out, any question may lead you on an offending spree. Those poor, poor emotionally strung out humans can't take that. Pfffffft is what they get from the cat. If you take offense to everything from everyone no matter who you are then you are the moron by far. Not everyone is trying to offend little old you. Most people have much, much better things to do. So get a grip and stop the poor pitiful me whiny trip. Now I am through with my sass and passing microaggressions out my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 6, 2015
A Blast From The Last!
The cat had ordered Pat to go get food. We were down to half a bag, that is just rude. He got there and got our stuff, then there was a ranter in front of him who said they didn't carry enough. Oh, that was fun as now a blog post can be done.
Why is there none?
My bag is done.
My dog needs another.
I'll call your mother.
Give me a bag.
I raise my last minute flag.
But still, give it to me.
I know you got one at your sea.
A half sized bag?
That is a drag.
It costs more than a full sized one.
That is a rip off there, son.
Give me a discount.
A really high amount.
Just because I'm a schmuck,
Doesn't mean I should have to spend an extra buck.
What? Only 10% off?
That makes me scoff.
When will the truck be in?
My dog needs food in its tin.
Don't back talk me.
That polite stuff causes no glee.
I know what you are thinking.
Don't give me any blinking.
Just give me a full bag.
You have one with a normal price tag.
I know it is here.
So bring it near.
What about another store?
Can you go and explore?
I need it here now though.
Come on, give it a go.
None there at all?
What is this pet food hall?
A slacker joint.
Me waiting until the last minute isn't the point.
The blame is on you.
All your fault at your zoo.
Now I'll take this half sized bag.
I know you upped the price tag.
Ahh, the idiots who think everything revolves around them. They like to spit their phlegm. Then they shut up in the end and the extra money they have to spend. If last minute you are, you get no sympathy from my sand bar. Thankfully Pat keeps us stocked in mass. Two month slow shipping only happened once to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Why is there none?
My bag is done.
My dog needs another.
I'll call your mother.
Give me a bag.
I raise my last minute flag.
But still, give it to me.
I know you got one at your sea.
A half sized bag?
That is a drag.
It costs more than a full sized one.
That is a rip off there, son.
Give me a discount.
A really high amount.
Just because I'm a schmuck,
Doesn't mean I should have to spend an extra buck.
What? Only 10% off?
That makes me scoff.
When will the truck be in?
My dog needs food in its tin.
Don't back talk me.
That polite stuff causes no glee.
I know what you are thinking.
Don't give me any blinking.
Just give me a full bag.
You have one with a normal price tag.
I know it is here.
So bring it near.
What about another store?
Can you go and explore?
I need it here now though.
Come on, give it a go.
None there at all?
What is this pet food hall?
A slacker joint.
Me waiting until the last minute isn't the point.
The blame is on you.
All your fault at your zoo.
Now I'll take this half sized bag.
I know you upped the price tag.
Ahh, the idiots who think everything revolves around them. They like to spit their phlegm. Then they shut up in the end and the extra money they have to spend. If last minute you are, you get no sympathy from my sand bar. Thankfully Pat keeps us stocked in mass. Two month slow shipping only happened once to my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 5, 2015
Take A Whiff Of The What If!
The cat hears this almost everyday, what if this, what if that, at his bay. That seems to be all some humans can do at their zoo. Is that called denial or living in the past without a clue? Beats the heck out of me. But I'll show you the error of you ways at your sea.
What if it went that way.
What if that was on display.
What if I did that.
What if I were a cat.
What ifs do flow.
What ifs do show.
What ifs in the know.
What ifs you crow.
What if I turned.
What if I learned.
What if I flew.
What if that were true.
What ifs high.
What ifs don't die.
What ifs aplenty.
What ifs of 2020.
What if I fell.
What if there's hell.
What if I walk.
What if I talk.
What ifs north.
What ifs put forth.
What ifs south.
What ifs have lots of mouth.
What if-ed out?
What if I end my shout?
What if I stop right now?
Would you have a cow?
What if that were true.
That would hurt you.
Out pops a cow.
The world record book would wow.
Now what if you are in plot A,
Wishing for plot B at your bay.
Now what if you were in plot B,
Would you be wishing for plot A at your sea?
Did you grasp that?
What if I'm not really a cat.
What if I'm a dog.
What if I say pffft to that final log.
Do you get it now? All done what if-ing and having that cow? If you what if about situation B while in situation A, still following at my bay? Then you'd most likely, what if about situation A if you were in situation B. You humans are never satisfied at your sea. Now the deep thinking has come to pass from my what if-ing little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
What if it went that way.
What if that was on display.
What if I did that.
What if I were a cat.
What ifs do flow.
What ifs do show.
What ifs in the know.
What ifs you crow.
What if I turned.
What if I learned.
What if I flew.
What if that were true.
What ifs high.
What ifs don't die.
What ifs aplenty.
What ifs of 2020.
What if I fell.
What if there's hell.
What if I walk.
What if I talk.
What ifs north.
What ifs put forth.
What ifs south.
What ifs have lots of mouth.
What if-ed out?
What if I end my shout?
What if I stop right now?
Would you have a cow?
What if that were true.
That would hurt you.
Out pops a cow.
The world record book would wow.
Now what if you are in plot A,
Wishing for plot B at your bay.
Now what if you were in plot B,
Would you be wishing for plot A at your sea?
Did you grasp that?
What if I'm not really a cat.
What if I'm a dog.
What if I say pffft to that final log.
Do you get it now? All done what if-ing and having that cow? If you what if about situation B while in situation A, still following at my bay? Then you'd most likely, what if about situation A if you were in situation B. You humans are never satisfied at your sea. Now the deep thinking has come to pass from my what if-ing little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 4, 2015
Here I Type With Some Hype!
The cat has fallen for it a time or two, so it's not just a human view. Or maybe it is and the cat was just listening to Pat while I took a whiz. That is neither here nor there. Let's get all hyped up at our lair.
Hyper is not the word.
That can be absurd.
Kids running to and fro.
The cat just wants them to go.
Hype it is today.
About what may.
Like that movie or book,
Or some other thing at your nook.
Humans make everything grand.
Like it will be the best across the land.
They hype it up every day.
Whether it comes out tomorrow or next May.
To them, hype fits the bill.
Hype beats nil.
If they could make it a pill,
Glee in all they could fill.
And then the day comes.
They stop flapping their gums.
The hype train has come into the station.
Hype takes a little vacation.
They watch, they read, they do whatever.
They expect it to be a miracle endeavor.
Whoopsy, it sucks.
Go feed the ducks.
It was only okay.
Damn, what they say.
This wasn't that good.
Sue them we should.
It was pretty good.
But improve they could.
What was with the hype,
From Twitter to Skype?
It was great.
A hype worthy trait.
Err umm, maybe not.
But I liked it a lot.
The hype killed it.
Made it seem more like umm shit.
Because you made it into the best ever.
Ruined your own enjoyment with such an endeavor.
Ever hype something so much that you kind of lost touch? That it turned out to be crap because you fell for the hype trap? Oh what hyping things can do. But we know it's nothing new. Tomorrow there will be something new to hype up. Like the hype of a butt to a pup. Now I will go roll in the grass and not hype my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Hyper is not the word.
That can be absurd.
Kids running to and fro.
The cat just wants them to go.
Hype it is today.
About what may.
Like that movie or book,
Or some other thing at your nook.
Humans make everything grand.
Like it will be the best across the land.
They hype it up every day.
Whether it comes out tomorrow or next May.
To them, hype fits the bill.
Hype beats nil.
If they could make it a pill,
Glee in all they could fill.
And then the day comes.
They stop flapping their gums.
The hype train has come into the station.
Hype takes a little vacation.
They watch, they read, they do whatever.
They expect it to be a miracle endeavor.
Whoopsy, it sucks.
Go feed the ducks.
It was only okay.
Damn, what they say.
This wasn't that good.
Sue them we should.
It was pretty good.
But improve they could.
What was with the hype,
From Twitter to Skype?
It was great.
A hype worthy trait.
Err umm, maybe not.
But I liked it a lot.
The hype killed it.
Made it seem more like umm shit.
Because you made it into the best ever.
Ruined your own enjoyment with such an endeavor.
Ever hype something so much that you kind of lost touch? That it turned out to be crap because you fell for the hype trap? Oh what hyping things can do. But we know it's nothing new. Tomorrow there will be something new to hype up. Like the hype of a butt to a pup. Now I will go roll in the grass and not hype my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 3, 2015
A Whoopdi Return To Try And Earn!
Robbie Raisin is back today. I want to have a new show to play. I need that ad revenue you know. Us raisins need money to stay clothed from head to toe. So on with the show. A Whoopdi Friggin Doo how does your dough blow.
Alex, start us off today. What did you blow dough on at your bay?
I once saw a display of large black and white photos of things placed in men's butts
Damn, creepy as can be. Manzi, where is your money tree?
Make a face with a flair
Now pose in your underwear
An underwear model are you? Bijoux, got some good tips at your zoo?
I saw some TV show once where they substituted modern art with toddlers' work and none of the visitors knew the difference.
So you are in favor of child labor at your sea? Betsy, any wise words from thee?
You must explain the header I see
with a crying baby and soap all bubbly.
A choking dog and vacuum cleaner.
Can't tell if the dog is a collie or weiner
Hmm, can't tell a weiner? Betty, can you be a little cleaner?
but sometimes when you look at some things
does it make one want to fart?
I guess looking can kill. Brian the cat, have any ideas at your litter hill?
Hey, I think I saw the Crap On a Stick Infomercial the other night.
So you do watch Whoopdi Friggin Doo. Anne, have a way to make dough come true?
When I was born God asked me "What superpower would you like to have little one?" And I answered "Holy Father, I'd really like to have the power to annoy people."
You annoy people so they pay you to go away? Birgit, have a way to make some pay?
I have seen male genitalia displayed in various ways on a TV screen-the best thing was watching an older couple go look at it and run out.
Scare old people to death and get their life insurance check? Mary Kirkland, would that make you hit the deck?
Just depends on who is doing it and with what.
Hmmm, a perfectionist peeper. Miss Caitlin S, got any advice that is a keeper?
I'm sure there's lots of people who would buy a picture of a book balancing on a head.
It takes a bit of skill at least. Theresa, ready to make enough dough for a feast?
Decided to write all over the room with droppings from her diaper.
I suppose the cleaners will like the bill. Tabbies of trout towne, ready for a thrill?
we haz been tryin ta tell everee one for like yeerz....well. oh kay may bee three postz.... if....that R
What did they try and say? Rosey, got a way to get lots of pay?
And the money people pay??? oy ai yai yai!! I could live off of it for a lifetime in some cases. ;)
Hookers get diseases you know. Snowcatcher, have anything not so umm low?
And keep on sharing lots and lots
I said not so low. Robyn, anything to make a wallet grow?
But I won't go near there
Good for you to stay away. Suza, ready to make some pay?
Reminds me of "artist" Millie Brown
Famous for vomiting soy-based dyes
She also puked on Lady Gaga in her video
Puking on famous people gets you rich? Dixie, can you scratch that itch?
I'm comment # 600 today.
Umm, so you can count? Stephanie Faris, can you add to the amount?
The cat always wins!
Let felines rule? Jax, what is cool?
I think the zebra thong should come out and play
Umm, sex does sell. Hank, any wise advice from where you dwell?
The Cat ready to gas out
With not even a shout
Gas is pricey. Just Keepin it Real Folks, care to make things dicey?
I want to know who was taking the pics of the cat on your ass?
You think people would pay to see a hairy ass? Blue Guy, care to end this with class?
Flip that boss the bird
Beat him with your mat
Hmm, that won't get you rich. You may end up in a ditch. Robbie Raisin is now out. Whoopdi Friggin Doo I say to each shout. You weren't very helpful at all. Such strange people on this wall.
*****************
Well you all scared him away. I guess he'll have to find another way to get pay. Poor raisins must burn to a crisp in the sun. That can't be any fun. Some of you really have no class. That sure works for my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Alex, start us off today. What did you blow dough on at your bay?
I once saw a display of large black and white photos of things placed in men's butts
Damn, creepy as can be. Manzi, where is your money tree?
Make a face with a flair
Now pose in your underwear
An underwear model are you? Bijoux, got some good tips at your zoo?
I saw some TV show once where they substituted modern art with toddlers' work and none of the visitors knew the difference.
So you are in favor of child labor at your sea? Betsy, any wise words from thee?
You must explain the header I see
with a crying baby and soap all bubbly.
A choking dog and vacuum cleaner.
Can't tell if the dog is a collie or weiner
Hmm, can't tell a weiner? Betty, can you be a little cleaner?
but sometimes when you look at some things
does it make one want to fart?
I guess looking can kill. Brian the cat, have any ideas at your litter hill?
Hey, I think I saw the Crap On a Stick Infomercial the other night.
So you do watch Whoopdi Friggin Doo. Anne, have a way to make dough come true?
When I was born God asked me "What superpower would you like to have little one?" And I answered "Holy Father, I'd really like to have the power to annoy people."
You annoy people so they pay you to go away? Birgit, have a way to make some pay?
I have seen male genitalia displayed in various ways on a TV screen-the best thing was watching an older couple go look at it and run out.
Scare old people to death and get their life insurance check? Mary Kirkland, would that make you hit the deck?
Just depends on who is doing it and with what.
Hmmm, a perfectionist peeper. Miss Caitlin S, got any advice that is a keeper?
I'm sure there's lots of people who would buy a picture of a book balancing on a head.
It takes a bit of skill at least. Theresa, ready to make enough dough for a feast?
Decided to write all over the room with droppings from her diaper.
I suppose the cleaners will like the bill. Tabbies of trout towne, ready for a thrill?
we haz been tryin ta tell everee one for like yeerz....well. oh kay may bee three postz.... if....that R
What did they try and say? Rosey, got a way to get lots of pay?
And the money people pay??? oy ai yai yai!! I could live off of it for a lifetime in some cases. ;)
Hookers get diseases you know. Snowcatcher, have anything not so umm low?
And keep on sharing lots and lots
I said not so low. Robyn, anything to make a wallet grow?
But I won't go near there
Good for you to stay away. Suza, ready to make some pay?
Reminds me of "artist" Millie Brown
Famous for vomiting soy-based dyes
She also puked on Lady Gaga in her video
Puking on famous people gets you rich? Dixie, can you scratch that itch?
I'm comment # 600 today.
Umm, so you can count? Stephanie Faris, can you add to the amount?
The cat always wins!
Let felines rule? Jax, what is cool?
I think the zebra thong should come out and play
Umm, sex does sell. Hank, any wise advice from where you dwell?
The Cat ready to gas out
With not even a shout
Gas is pricey. Just Keepin it Real Folks, care to make things dicey?
I want to know who was taking the pics of the cat on your ass?
You think people would pay to see a hairy ass? Blue Guy, care to end this with class?
Flip that boss the bird
Beat him with your mat
Hmm, that won't get you rich. You may end up in a ditch. Robbie Raisin is now out. Whoopdi Friggin Doo I say to each shout. You weren't very helpful at all. Such strange people on this wall.
*****************
Well you all scared him away. I guess he'll have to find another way to get pay. Poor raisins must burn to a crisp in the sun. That can't be any fun. Some of you really have no class. That sure works for my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 2, 2015
Take A Smell Where You Dwell!
Back we are,To help near and far.I'll make that insecurity go away,So you can have a nice day.
No need to thank the cat.I'm just nice like that.Smell the BS in the air?Good for you at your lair.
Now smell this and that.Smell the door mat.Stick out your nose,And smell a rose.
Don't stick it up,That could be a hiccup.Might think you have an extra thing,Like a stick up your butt at your wing.
So smell away.All through the day.Smell everything nice,Maybe even spice.
You've stopped and smelled,Hopefully you never yelled.You've taken a break,With your smelling double take.
Found a rosy allure.Hopefully it is pure.Now as you can see,A little smelling set you free.
Take a walk now.Maybe near a cow.Do you smell it?Yep, it's shit.
Always bad with the good.At any neighborhood. But good is still there to smell,So no need for hell.
Do you smell what I'm cooking?Hint, don't go looking.Pat needs to scoop.Insecurity now thrown for a loop?
Smell anything good today? If you have no sense of smell it could be hard at your bay. But just pretend you do. Then no insecurity will come due. I smelt it and dealt it. Hopefully I didn't melt it. Can you smell that gas? It came from my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
September 1, 2015
The Whine Shall Now Align!
The rip offs are through. Back to the norm at my zoo. Wait, wasn't it the norm before? Stop that whining at your shore. Did you get the topic of today? Don't whine if not at your bay.
Whine about this,
Whine about that.
Whine for bliss.
A whiny little brat.
My back has pain.
But I walk in bad shoes.
I have to look pretty on a train,
So my back will lose.
I need to drop weight.
But I eat a lot and hate exercise.
I have to fill my plate,
Isn't this magic pill wise?
The ying of the whine,
The yang of the shit.
All would be fine,
It you weren't a dimwit.
My place is small,
But I don't want to work.
I need a bigger hall,
Why can't welfare have that perk?
I hate my work,
But I don't look for anything new.
I can't go and lurk,
New is such a scary view.
The yang of the whine,
The ying of the shit.
See the sign,
And don't be a dimwit.
My phone won't work,
I didn't pay the bill.
I blame that phone company jerk,
Had nothing to do with my will.
I hit a car,
But I had to talk.
My friend was waiting at a bar,
I had no time to gawk.
Whine about this,
Whine about that.
Whine and hiss,
Pfft to you says the cat.
If you won't do what needs to be done and instead need to give a whining run, then you won't get any sympathy from me. Whiners can go hang upside down in a tree. Maybe they'll fall on their head and the whining will no longer need to be fed. Was I too crass? Doesn't bother my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Whine about this,
Whine about that.
Whine for bliss.
A whiny little brat.
My back has pain.
But I walk in bad shoes.
I have to look pretty on a train,
So my back will lose.
I need to drop weight.
But I eat a lot and hate exercise.
I have to fill my plate,
Isn't this magic pill wise?
The ying of the whine,
The yang of the shit.
All would be fine,
It you weren't a dimwit.
My place is small,
But I don't want to work.
I need a bigger hall,
Why can't welfare have that perk?
I hate my work,
But I don't look for anything new.
I can't go and lurk,
New is such a scary view.
The yang of the whine,
The ying of the shit.
See the sign,
And don't be a dimwit.
My phone won't work,
I didn't pay the bill.
I blame that phone company jerk,
Had nothing to do with my will.
I hit a car,
But I had to talk.
My friend was waiting at a bar,
I had no time to gawk.
Whine about this,
Whine about that.
Whine and hiss,
Pfft to you says the cat.
If you won't do what needs to be done and instead need to give a whining run, then you won't get any sympathy from me. Whiners can go hang upside down in a tree. Maybe they'll fall on their head and the whining will no longer need to be fed. Was I too crass? Doesn't bother my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.
Pat Hatt's Blog
- Pat Hatt's profile
- 51 followers
Pat Hatt isn't a Goodreads Author
(yet),
but they
do have a blog,
so here are some recent posts imported from
their feed.
