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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss
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Never Split the Difference Quotes Showing 751-780 of 1,068
“They are reserved problem solvers, and information aggregators, and are hypersensitive to reciprocity. They will give you a piece, but if they don’t get a piece in return within a certain period of time, they lose trust and will disengage”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Classic analysts prefer to work on their own and rarely deviate from their goals. They rarely show emotion, and they often use what is very close to the FM DJ Voice I talked about in Chapter 3, slow and measured with a downward inflection. However, Analysts often speak in a way that is distant and cold instead of soothing.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“ANALYST Analysts are methodical and diligent. They are not in a big rush. Instead, they believe that as long as they are working toward the best result in a thorough and systematic way, time is of little consequence. Their self-image is linked to minimizing mistakes. Their motto: As much time as it takes to get it right.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Blunt assertion is actually counterproductive most of the time.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“psychological tool that works most effectively with assertive guys like me: the mirror.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Use your own name to make yourself a real person to the other side and even get your own personal discount. Humor and humanity are the best ways to break the ice and remove roadblocks.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Humanize yourself. Use your name to introduce yourself. Say it in a fun, friendly way. Let them enjoy the interaction, too. And get your own special price.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“liars use more words than truth tellers and use far more third-person pronouns. They start talking about him, her, it, one, they, and their rather than I, in order to put some distance between themselves and the lie.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“body language and tone of voice—not words—are our most powerful assessment tools.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Follow up by summarizing what they have said to get a “That’s right.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“On the flip side, be wary of two telling signs that your counterpart doesn’t believe the idea is theirs. As I’ve noted, when they say, “You’re right,” it’s often a good indicator they are not vested in what is being discussed. And when you push for implementation and they say, “I’ll try,” you should get a sinking feeling in your stomach. Because this really means, “I plan to fail.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“People always make more effort to implement a solution when they think it’s theirs. That is simply human nature.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“How am I supposed to do that?” (for example, “How can we raise that much?”). Your tone of voice is critical as this phrase can be delivered as either an accusation or a request for assistance. So pay attention to your voice.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“You just have to have an idea of where you want the conversation to go when you’re devising your questions.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Questions, always questions.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Bite your tongue. When you’re attacked in a negotiation, pause and avoid angry emotional reactions.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Avoid questions that can be answered with “Yes” or tiny pieces of information. These require little thought and inspire the human need for reciprocity; you will be expected to give something back.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Don’t try to force your opponent to admit that you are right. Aggressive confrontation is the enemy of constructive negotiation.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Who has control in a conversation, the guy listening or the guy talking? The listener, of course. That’s because the talker is revealing information while the listener, if he’s trained well, is directing the conversation toward his own goals.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“The first and most basic rule of keeping your emotional cool is to bite your tongue. Not literally, of course. But you have to keep away from knee-jerk, passionate reactions. Pause. Think. Let the passion dissipate. That allows you to collect your thoughts and be more circumspect in what you say. It also lowers your chance of saying more than you want to.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Even with all the best techniques and strategy, you need to regulate your emotions if you want to have any hope of coming out on top.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“What is the biggest challenge you face?” is one of those questions. It just gets the other side to teach you something about themselves, which is critical to any negotiation because all negotiation is an information-gathering process.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Does this look like something you would like?” can become “How does this look to you?” or “What about this works for you?” You can even ask, “What about this doesn’t work for you?” and you’ll probably trigger quite a bit of useful information from your counterpart.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Why would your company ever change from your long-standing vendor and choose our company?” is another. As always, tone of voice, respectful and deferential, is critical. Otherwise, treat “why” like a burner on a hot stove—don’t touch it.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Regardless of what language the word “why” is translated into, it’s accusatory. There are very rare moments when this is to your advantage.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“But let me cut the list even further: it’s best to start with “what,” “how,” and sometimes “why.” Nothing else. “Who,” “when,” and “where” will often just get your counterpart to share a fact without thinking. And “why” can backfire.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“But calibrated questions are not just random requests for comment. They have a direction: once you figure out where you want a conversation to go, you have to design the questions that will ease the conversation in that direction while letting the other guy think it’s his choice to take you there.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Calibrated questions have the power to educate your counterpart on what the problem is rather than causing conflict by telling them what the problem is.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“As long as she stayed cool, they would hear it as a problem to be solved.”
Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It