Never Split the Difference Quotes

“I’ve found the phrase “Look, I’m an asshole” to be an amazingly effective way to make problems go away.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Put a smile on your face. When people are in a positive frame of mind, they think more quickly, and are more likely to collaborate and problem-solve (instead of fight and resist). Positivity creates mental agility in both you and your counterpart.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“That’s why, if a corrections officer approaches an inmate expecting him to resist, he often will. But if he approaches exuding calm, the inmate will be much more likely to be peaceful. It”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Never forget that a loss stings at least twice as much as an equivalent gain.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“How does this fit into what the objective is?”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“What are we trying to accomplish? How is that worthwhile? What’s the core issue here? How does that affect things? What’s the biggest challenge you face?”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“You must accept the reality of other people. You think that reality is up for negotiation, that we think it’s whatever you say it is. You must accept that we are as real as you are; you must accept that you are not God.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Bottom line: People who expect more (and articulate it) get more. Here are the four steps for setting your goal: ■​Set an optimistic but reasonable goal and define it clearly. ■​Write it down. ■​Discuss your goal with a colleague (this makes it harder to wimp out). ■​Carry the written goal into the negotiation.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Get face time with your counterpart”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Exploit the similarity principle.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Review everything you hear from your counterpart. You will not hear everything the first time, so double-check.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Work to understand the other side’s “religion.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Black Swans are leverage multipliers. Remember the three types of leverage: positive (the ability to give someone what they want); negative (the ability to hurt someone); and normative (using your counterpart’s norms to bring them around).”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Let what you know—your known knowns—guide you but not blind you.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“One can only be an exceptional negotiator, and a great person, by both listening and speaking clearly and empathetically; by treating counterparts—and oneself—with dignity and respect; and most of all by being honest about what one wants and what one can—and cannot—do.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“And so I’m going to leave you with one request: Whether it’s in the office or around the family dinner table, don’t avoid honest, clear conflict. It will get you the best car price, the higher salary, and the largest donation. It will also save your marriage, your friendship, and your family.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“But if you are an honest, decent person looking for a reasonable outcome, you can ignore the amygdala.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Students often ask me whether Black Swans are specific kinds of information or any kind that helps. I always answer that they are anything that you don’t know that changes things.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“noticing whose cracks and how others respond verbally and nonverbally can reveal a gold mine.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“pay close attention to your counterpart during interruptions, odd exchanges, or anything that interrupts the flow. When someone breaks ranks, people’s façades crack just a little. Simply”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“the only way the process was going to move forward was through direct human interaction”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“people respond favorably to requests made in a reasonable tone of voice and followed with a “because” reason.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“in many cultures negotiators spend large amounts of time building rapport before they even think of offers.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“When our counterpart displays attitudes, beliefs, ideas—even modes of dress—that are similar to our own, we tend to like and trust them more.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“People trust those who are in their in-group. Belonging is a primal instinct.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“In other words: listen, listen again, and listen some more.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“Use backup listeners whose only job is to listen between the lines. They will hear things you miss.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“here are two tips for reading religion correctly: ■​Review everything you hear. You will not hear everything the first time, so double-check.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“we not only were listening, but that we had also heard him.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

“how deeply listening to understand your counterpart’s worldview can reveal a Black Swan that transforms a negotiation dynamic.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It