Never Split the Difference Quotes

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Never Split the Difference Quotes
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“She felt trapped. My advice for her was simple: I told her to engage them in a conversation where she summarized the situation and then asked, “How am I supposed to do that?”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Asking for help in this manner, after you’ve already been engaged in a dialogue, is an incredibly powerful negotiating technique for transforming encounters from confrontational showdowns into joint problem-solving sessions. And calibrated questions are the best tool.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Instead of asking some closed-ended question with a single correct answer, he’d asked an open-ended, yet calibrated one that forced the other guy to pause and actually think about how to solve the problem. I thought to myself, This is perfect! It’s a natural and normal question, not a request for a fact. It’s a “how” question, and “how” engages because “how” asks for help.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“our one-dimensional mindset.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“If the hostages’ deaths were going to mean something, we would have to find a new way to negotiate, communicate, listen, and speak, both with our enemies and with our friends. Not for communication’s sake, though. No. We had to do it to win.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“suggest you let the other side anchor monetary negotiations. The real issue is that neither side has perfect information going to the table. This often means you don’t know enough to open with confidence. That’s especially true anytime you don’t know the market value of what you are buying or selling,”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“And then, once I’d anchored their emotions in a minefield of low expectations, I played on their loss aversion.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Early on in a negotiation, I say, “I want you to feel like you are being treated fairly at all times. So please stop me at any time if you feel I’m being unfair, and we’ll address it.” It’s simple and clear and sets me up as an honest dealer.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Emotion is a necessary element to decision making that we ignore at our own peril. Realizing that hits people hard between the eyes.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“So don’t settle and—here’s a simple rule—never split the difference. Creative solutions are almost always preceded by some degree of risk, annoyance, confusion, and conflict.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“The real problem with compromise is that it has come to be known as this great concept, in relationships and politics and everything else. Compromise, we are told quite”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Next time you want to compromise, remind yourself of those mismatched shoes.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“The win-win mindset pushed by so many negotiation experts is usually ineffective and often disastrous. At best, it satisfies neither side. And if you employ it with a counterpart who has a win-lose approach, you’re setting yourself up to be swindled. Of course, as we’ve noted previously, you need to keep the cooperative, rapport-building, empathetic approach, the kind that creates a dynamic in which deals can be made. But you have to get rid of that naïveté. Because compromise—“splitting the difference”—can lead to terrible outcomes.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“The power of getting to that understanding, and not to some simple “yes,” is revelatory in the art of negotiation. The moment you’ve convinced someone that you truly understand her dreams and feelings (the whole world that she inhabits), mental and behavioral change becomes possible, and the foundation for a breakthrough has been laid. Use these lessons to lay that foundation:”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Such is the recipe for bad marriages and bad negotiations. With each party having its own set of objectives, its own goals and motivations, the truth is that the conversational niceties—the socially lubricating “yeses” and “you’re rights” that get thrown out fast and furious early in any interaction—are not in any way a substitute for real understanding between you and your partner.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Sleeping in the same bed and dreaming different dreams” is an old Chinese expression that describes the intimacy of partnership (whether in marriage or in business) without the communication necessary to sustain it.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“6.Summarize:”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“5.Paraphrase:”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“2.Minimal Encouragers: Besides silence, we instructed using simple phrases, such as “Yes,” “OK,” “Uh-huh,” or “I see,”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“use nearly every tactic in the active listening arsenal: 1.Effective Pauses: Silence is powerful”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“the most famous negotiating book in the world, Getting to Yes, have ultimately discovered, you more than likely haven’t gotten there yet if what you’re hearing is the word “yes.” As you’ll soon learn, the sweetest two words in any negotiation are actually “That’s right.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“The model proposes five stages—active listening, empathy, rapport, influence, and behavioral change—that take any negotiator from listening to influencing behavior.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“There’s nothing more irritating than being ignored. Being turned down is bad, but getting no response at all is the pits. It makes you feel invisible, as if you don’t exist. And it’s a waste of your time.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“No”—or the lack thereof—also serves as a warning, the canary in the coal mine. If despite all your efforts, the other party won’t say “No,” you’re dealing with people who are indecisive or confused or who have a hidden agenda. In cases like that you have to end the negotiation and walk away.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“■I want something else; ■I need more information; or ■I want to talk it over with someone else. Then, after pausing, ask solution-based questions or simply label their effect: “What about this doesn’t work for you?” “What would you need to make it work?” “It seems like there’s something here that bothers you.” People have a need to say, “No.” So don’t just hope to hear it at some point; get them to say it early.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“When someone tells you “No,” you need to rethink the word in one of its alternative—and much more real—meanings: ■I am not yet ready to agree; ■You are making me feel uncomfortable; ■I do not understand; ■I don’t think I can afford it;”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“It comes down to the deep and universal human need for autonomy.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Jim Camp, in his excellent book, Start with NO,1 counsels the reader to give their adversary (his word for counterpart) permission to say “No” from the outset of a negotiation.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“A trap into which many fall is to take what other people say literally.”
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
― Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It