The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks Quotes

“I like my morning coffee so strong it will wake up the neighbors. And if that doesn't work, I'll start playing my tuba.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Before the blue of night meets the pink of sunrise, there is a transition of lavender. It's a gradient of color that stretches its fade through time, and that gives each moment a unique and exquisite existence.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“There is no romance if there is no fog. When everything is clear, there's no element of mystery. In The Ozarks, mystique is ubiquitous.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Cash rich is future poor. Back in 1913, I could have almost bought a mansion for the price of a cup of coffee today.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“A lot of wisdom goes to waste because people speak it openly into the air during conversations, and it dissipates into the atmosphere without raining back down in the form of written text to be read in the future.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“You might be asking yourself, "Jarod, why did you write something that maybe one person is going to read?" The answer is easy: Because that gives me a larger audience than The Washington Post.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“The song’s advice said, “Play that funky music, white boy.” So, I took up the xylophone.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Yesterday I played a round of golf. I just kept hitting the ball in circles, but never getting it in the circles they call holes.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“This is the Los Angeles Lakers of sunsets. Purple and yellow, it reminds me of Larry Bird.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Play your saxophone like a quacking duck. An electric guitar full of lightning doesn't even have that energy.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“I once saw a waterfall walk up a flight of stairs, when it could have easily taken the escalator. That's what I would have done, if I were composed of 40% more H2O.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“All my failures as a human being I blame on my father. Life is about accepting responsibility, and it’s time my father started being held accountable for my deficiencies.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“The truth is that the truth isn’t hiding. It’s out in the open—it’s the people that are hiding from the truth.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“By 2030 I won't need to carry any Portable Communication Device, because by then I will have mastered the art of telepathy. I've been practicing in the mirror.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“In a Lake of Clouds, there's only one thing you can fish for: Dreams. Mostly I catch mine, but sometimes I catch yours, and I must say I am flattered to always see myself as the co-star in your subconscious fantasies.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Only Bob Dylan knows which of his songs belong in the trash and which belong in the garbage. I’m so ignorant, I’d say either one works.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“I should design door handles made of flowing water. To open, pull like salmon swim.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“No matter which end of a hotdog you take your first bite from, I’ll tell you you’re eating it backwards. I’m serious, I think you may be dyslexic.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Francis Bacon has the most delicious last name ever, followed closely by Johnny Scrambledeggs. I golf like those two guys make breakfast out of family reunions.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Love makes the world go round. Too bad love doesn’t make the world go other shapes, like Table Rock Lake.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Can we go back to the way things were, before life got so complicated with the wheel and then the three other wheels?”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Turn the music down, and when you hit zero decibels—turn it down even more. Negative volume produces the most beautiful dancing.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Life is more romantic with soft piano music. I just wish those particular instruments were more portable, so my back wouldn't be so sore.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Water doesn’t shape like clay when you move it with your hands. I've spent a lot of time swimming, and none of my motion art stayed in place. All my aqua sculpting rippled into the future, never to be seen again.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Time is fluid, like the wide sky that fades into bright orange in a sunset in The Ozarks. Every moment is meant to be sipped and savored like a slow mimosa.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs to a foggy Ozarks morning.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“To blame me in the past is a very future me thing to do. But what am I supposed to do, scapegoat someone else for my mistakes? Somebody needs to be held accountable, and it certainly won’t be the version of me in that moment.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“I admire the flow of your dancing moves, and I'd love to bottle them up and sell them as windshield wiper fluid. I only wish they came in Ozarks Rain Flavor.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Of all the sports, golf is certainly one of them. Well, almost certainly, and I think that’s what I love most about it.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“Add some mystery to your morning coffee and stir in some mist. Or go full fog for that #MissMarpleFlavor. Then solve it sip by sip.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks