Robot Quotes

“Goodbye, Hari, my love. Remember always--all you did for me.”
           
-I did nothing for you.”
           
-You loved me and your love made me--human.”
― Isaac Asimov, Forward the Foundation

“Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“I was tired of pretending to be human. I needed a break.”
― Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol

“It's hard to wipe your eyes when you have whirring buzzsaws for hands.”
― Daniel H. Wilson, How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion

“you're the dumbest smart person i know, you're the dumbest dumb person i know”
― Will Smith

“My own self-consciousness cries out to me coldly: how does one love zero?”
― Auguste Villiers de l'Isle-Adam, Tomorrow's Eve

“At the end of the day, I was still a virgin, all alone in a dark room, humping a lubed-up robot.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free.”
― Josh Lieb, I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President

“Some unspoken human communication is taking place on a hidden channel. I did not realize they communicated this much without words. I note that we machines are not the only species who share information silently, wreathed in codes.”
― Daniel H. Wilson, Robopocalypse

“We already have the Wooden Pillar, the Steel Pillar and the Plastic Pillar. In a moment we will have the Golden Bail....'
No, you won't.'
We will,' stated the robot simply.
No, you won't. It makes my ship work.'
In a moment,' repeated the robot patiently, 'we will have the Golden Bail....'
You will not,' said Zaphod.
And then we must go,' said the robot, in all seriousness, 'to a party.'
Oh,' said Zaphod, startled, 'can I come?'
No,' said the robot, 'we are going to shoot you.'
Oh, yeah?' said Zaphod, waggling his gun.
Yes,' said the robot, and they shot him.
Zaphod was so surprised that they had to shoot him again before he fell down. (85-86)”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“And you know what happened next in my dream? Dick Cheney and I said the same thing at the same time: "Well, we had a Cold War to win." And then I screamed at him: "I KNEW you would say that! You ALWAYS say that!" But then, since Cheney and I made the same remark at the same time, I realized he owed me a Coke. So I said, "Jinx! You owe me a Coke!" And Vice-President Dick Cheney smiled sheepishly. *Shudder*... I don't even DRINK coke. I tastes like robot sweat.”
― David Rees, Get Your War On II

“Hmmm? Oh, I hacked her onboard computer. Not a very advanced machine, unfortunately. I was hoping to discover another AI, so we could complain about organics together. Wouldn't that have been a fun time?'
'Fun time!' Doomslug said from where she'd climbed up onto the armrest of my seat.
I slipped into my cockpit. 'You really did that?' I asked.
'Complaining about organics? Yes, it's very easy.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Starsight

“You're so cynical," Tiny says, waving his hand at me.
"I'm not cynical, Tiny," I answer. "I'm practical."
"You're a robot," he says. Tiny thinks that I am incapable of what humans call emotion because I have not cried since my seventh birthday, when I saw the movie All Dogs Go to Heaven. I suppose I should have known from the title that it wouldn't end merrily, but in my defense, I was seven. Anyway, I haven't cried since then. I don't really understand the point of crying. Also, I feel that crying is almost--like, aside from deaths of relatives or whatever-- totally avoidable if you follow two very simple rules: 1. Don't care too much. 2. Shut up. Everything unfortunate that has ever happened to me has stemmed from failure to follow one of the rules.”
― John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

“The New or Future Eve is emptied of all inner life and turned into a shell. The bitter irony in this is that her perfection recalls nothing so much as a corpse.”
― Asti Hustvedt, The Decadent Reader: Fiction, Fantasy, and Perversion from Fin-de-Siècle France

“No Navigator, we are just going with the flow of it all.”
007 In The Navigator by Steve Merrick”
― Steve Merrick

“You’re not a human in a dog’s body,” Granny finally said, still watching the ice as it floated towards the ceiling.
“I am,” Red_Bati said.
“Humans have spirits,” Granny said. “You don’t.”
“I do,” Red_Bati said.
“You can’t,” Granny said.
“Why not? I’m aware of myself.”
― Dilman Dila, Dominion: An Anthology of Speculative Fiction from Africa and the African Diaspora

“Artificial intelligence (AI) will take over every job that could be done by a robot. Making work more human.”
― Richie Norton

“But what’s the difference how they act? How about how I feel? I love Robutt and that’s what counts.”
― Isaac Asimov, A Boy's Best Friend

“I, Stereotype: Detained in the Uncanny Valley”
― Seo-Young Chu, Techno-Orientalism: Imagining Asia in Speculative Fiction, History, and Media

“Powered by the literalization of lyric personification into narrative event, a humanoid robot may wake up fully sentient and human (only to decide, preferring reverie, to fall asleep again).”
― Seo-Young Chu

“We humans lost our freedom the first time we hung a badge on a machine.”
― Vincent H. O'Neil, A Pause in the Perpetual Rotation

“You'll never have to worry about dying.
You do realize that sound like the world's most insane helicopter parent right now?”
― Lee Bacon, Interview with the Robot

“But if I was a robot, if all of us were robots, and we were told we were human--that this is what humans looked like, wouldn't my hands appear human to me, even if they weren't?”
― K. Weikel, Sameness

“This was something our makers hadn’t calculated when they put fear into our programs. The horror had unleashed something that lurked in amongst those precise, complex equations. Something they call the will to live.”
― Ahmed Salah Al-Mahdi

“Thoughts of his future, and eventual death, have altered Jack22's perspective. And as I mentioned before, his intellect is aging rather rapidly. To gain extraordinary knowledge so quickly without personal experience makes his learning incomplete. You don't truly understand the word "burn" until your hand is over the flame.”
― Truant D. Memphis, Post Oh!pocalypto Poppycock

“আমি মানুষ। দীর্ঘদিনেও মানুষের ডিএনএতে একটা জিনিসের পরিবর্তন হয়নি। মানুষ এখনো অন্য কোনো মানুষের বা যন্ত্রের অতিরিক্ত আগ্রহকে, আন্তরিকতাকে ভালো চোখে দেখে না—সন্দেহ করে, খারাপ কিছুর আশঙ্কা করতে থাকে।”
― রুশদী শামস, ফিনিক্স প্রটোকল

“Un encadenamiento de razonamientosválidos sólo puede llevar a la determinación de la verdad.”
― Isaac Asimov, I, Robot

“You realize you're about to create a bunch of time traveling robots, don't you? Pretty sure that's how The Terminator started.”
― Nathan Van Coops, The Warp Clock

“I find writing a little like possession. I don't feel I make up the stories. My characters do and I just write them down”
― Edward F McKeown, Legacies

“The robot sat for a moment, considering. "I don't want to separate myself from other robots any more than I already have," it said. "I am having the most incredible experience out here. I've seen species of trees that don't live in my part of the world. I've been on a boat. I've played with domesticated cats. I have a satchel!" It gestured at the bag hanging at its side for emphasis. "A satchel for my belongings! I am doing things no robot has ever done, and while that's marvelous, I ... I don't want to become removed from tham. The aggregate differences I have are only going to increase as we continue along, Sibling Dex. It's very nice to be famous, but I don't know how I feel about it yet, and I'm beginning to wonder if it's a trait I'll have among my own kind as well. So, you see, it's enough that I'm experientialy different; I don't want to be physically different too." It paused. "Does that make sense?”
― Becky Chambers, A Prayer for the Crown-Shy