Mormonism Quotes

Quotes tagged as "mormonism" Showing 1-30 of 41
Joseph Smith Jr.
“Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.”
Joseph Smith

Joseph Smith Jr.
“Whatever God requires is right, no matter what it is, although we may not see the reason there of until all of the events transpire.”
Joseph Smith

Douglas Adams
“Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City.”
Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

Laurence Moore
“Mormons invented themselves just as other religious and ethnic groups invented themselves. But Mormons did so in such a singularly impressive way that we will probably always remain baffled as to how exactly it happened.”
Laurence Moore

“Faith is more like being faithful to your husband or wife than it is like believing in magic. Fidelity is key. You may fall in love with someone because of how well they complement your story, but you’ll prove yourself faithful to them only when you care more for the flawed, difficult, and unplotted life you end up sharing with them. Faith isn’t the opposite of knowledge. Rather, like love, faith perfects knowledge by practicing fidelity to it.”
Adam S. Miller

Jon Krakauer
“…such criticism and mockery are largely beside the point. All religious belief is a function of nonrational faith. And faith, by its very definition, tends to be impervious to to intellectual argument or academic criticism. Polls routinely indicate, moreover, that nine out of ten Americans believe in God—most of us subscribe to one brand of religion or another. Those who would assail The Book of Mormon should bear in mind that its veracity is no more dubious than the veracity of the Bible, say, or the Qur'an, or the sacred texts of most other religions. The latter texts simply enjoy the considerable advantage of having made their public debut in the shadowy recesses of the ancient past, and are thus much harder to refute.”
Jon Krakauer, Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith

“No sex?" He looked at me in disbelief. "Well if you can't have ze sex, what can you do?"

For the sake of simplicity I took my left arm and lined it up just under my collarbones. "Nothing below here," I said. I took my right arm and lined it up to my knees. "Nothing above here."

"What about your armpit?" he asked. "Can your boyfriend do anything he wants to your armpit?"

I thought about it. Armpits seemed pretty harmless. "Yeah," I said optimistically. "My boyfriend can do anything he wants to my armpit."

"This is good," the Frenchman said. "He can stick his penis in and out of your armpit, and if you grow hair there it is almost like vagine."

Is it too late to change my answer? I wondered, pulling a cardigan over my bare shoulders and covering any hint of an invitation.”
Elna Baker, The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir

Will Advise
“I'll make a book on learning how to be a complete moron someday, and I'm sure no one will buy it, because everyone will have mastered that already by the time I gather enough moronism to process it into digestible upgrade instructions for your average village cyborg-idiot.”
Will Advise, Nothing is here...

“We should gather all the good and true principles in the world and treasure them up, or we shall not come out true Mormons.”
Joseph Smith, Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith

Martha N. Beck
“...they needed someone to explain, to spin, the parts of the tale that couldn't be suppressed. Someone reputable and educated. Someone brilliant yet absolutely committed to the faith. Someone like my father.”
Martha Beck

Mette Ivie Harrison
“Mormons have to have absurdly high standards. Other people try not to drink to excess. Mormons refuse to drink at all. Other people cut back on their coffee at Lent. Mormons drink neither coffee nor tea, ever, and I know plenty of Mormons who think it is wrong to drink hot chocolate, or herbal tea, or decaffeinated coffee. Or anything that could be mistaken for tea at a casual glance. Or anything coffee-flavored. Or rum-flavored. Or even vanilla extract.”
Mette Ivie Harrison, The Bishop’s Wife

Jim Whitefield
“As long as people want the Mormon Church to be true,
more than they are willing to face the possibility that it is not,
they will not entertain evidence or reason.
Delusion becomes a choice.”
Jim Whitefield

“At some point, God will ask you to sacrifice on his altar not only your stories about your own life but your version of his stories as well. Your softly lit watercolor felt-board version of scripture stories and church history must, like all your stories, be abandoned at his feet, and the messy, vibrant, and inconvenient truths that characterize God's real work with real people will have to take center stage. If they don't, then how will God's work in your hungry messy, and inconvenient life ever do the same?
When God knocks, don't creep to the door and look through the peephole to see if he looks like you thought he would. Rush to the door and throw it open.”
Adam S. Miller

Steven L. Peck
“Zoroastrianism? Oh, there’s never been but a few hundred thousand of them at any one time, mostly located in Iran and India, but that’s it. The one true faith. If you’re not a Zoroastrian, I’m afraid you are bound for Hell.”

The man looked stunned and shocked. "It's not fair."

The demon gave a mirthful laugh. “Well, it was fair when you were sending all the Chinese to Hell who had never heard of Jesus. Wasn’t it?”
Steven L. Peck

Steven L. Peck
“It took a couple of months before we were both convinced there were no rules about sexual activities in Hell and our spouses were not going to show up out of the blue. It was hard to start a sexual relationship in circumstances of such bizarre uncertainty, especially for an active Mormon and a good Christian, both lost in a Zoroastrian Hell. We were like virgin newlyweds. All my life I’d been raised to believe this kind of thing was wrong. All my life I had lived with a strong sense of morality. How do you give it up? How do you do things you thought you’d never do? Where do all the things you believed go, when all the supporting structure is found to be a myth? How do you know how or on what to take a moral stand, how do you behave when it turns out there are no cosmic rules, no categorical imperatives? It was difficult. So tricky to untangle.”
Steven L. Peck, A Short Stay in Hell

Fawn M. Brodie
“A man's memory is bound to be a distortion of his past in accordance with his present interests, and the most faithful autobiography is likely to mirror less what a man was than what he has become.”
Fawn M. Brodie

“It is, after all, far too easy to pinch and kick the bizarre Mormon Church; to say it's ripe for satire and parody is to say a Catholic schoolgirl is ripe for debauchery. It's like shooting polygamist fish in a barrel of coffee.”
Mark Morford

“Evil tries to hide, like God.”
John Draper, A Danger to God Himself

“It is one of the great ironies of Mormon history that Smith, who set the polygamous movement in motion, never experienced it in practical terms. He was content to marry the teenage women who lived in his home and then let them depart when Emma objected. And he was content to let his polyandrous wives live with their first husbands, so he never bore the responsibility of providing for them, financially or emotionally, on a day-to-day basis. He never witnessed the toll practical polygamy would take on an Eliza Partridge...”
Todd M. Compton, In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith

“And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”
Book of Mormon

“Let God grow in you. Hear his voice in your need. Let Jesus resurrect you right now, in this life, even before you’re done dying. Let him put your spirit back in your hungry body.”
Adam S. Miller

“To nineteenth-century leaders the principle was not just an optional revelation - they viewed it as the most important revelation in Joseph Smith's life, which is what he undoubtedly taught them. If they accepted him as an infallible prophet, and if they wanted full exaltation, they had no recourse but to marry many plural wives. Their devotion to Joseph the seer outweighed their experience of polygamy's impracticality and tragic consequences for women, which many men probably did not even recognize.

But it is worth noting that the women who suffered so much under polygamy gave it their unqualified support in public rallies and wrote impassioned defenses of it. They too were devoted to the idea that their church was led by practically infallible, authoritative prophets, especially Joseph Smith.”
Todd M. Compton, In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith

“Everything is subjective.”
Lord Hsieh the First of Lancastshire

“It is useless to judge nineteenth-century Mormons by late twentieth-century standards. Both men and women were given an impossible task and failed at it. All we can do today is sympathize with them in their tragedies and marvel at their heroism as they suffered.”
Todd M. Compton, In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith

Joanna Brooks
“No one says: I broke rules, I broke rules, I broke rules - I broke all the rules. That one. And that one. And that one too. Yes, I did.”
Joanna Brooks, The Book of Mormon Girl: Stories from an American Faith

Joanna Brooks
“No one says: when my family treated me as a stranger, I preferred the company of strangers, and I walked among strangers and what did I find but God in every one of their faces.”
Joanna Brooks, The Book of Mormon Girl: Stories from an American Faith

“When a writer is born into a family, Czesław Miłosz once famously said, the family is finished. You could forget about having any more secrets. You could forget about hiding what you didn’t want others to know. You were going to be exposed, hung out to air, and by a traitor from within. But later I wondered, Is it the family that’s really finished or simply the writer’s place within it? Could a family still be a family with parts missing?”
Judith Freeman, The Latter Days: A Memoir

Steven L. Peck
“What if the eternities are open? What if there is no set eternity to which we are heading? No teleology, as Bergson argued, to which life must aim. What if new emergences occur on the grandest scale of all and God Himself is participating in a dynamic and open existence?”
Steven L Peck, Gilda Trillim: Shepherdess of Rats

Steven L. Peck
“I cannot imagine God is up there following some rulebook (or cookbook) that maps out all that must or should happen.”
Steven L Peck, Gilda Trillim: Shepherdess of Rats

Avi Steinberg
“Happy people don't think about angels. And they certainly don't see them. As for holding extended conversations with angels, that's only for the truly, irretrievably miserable.”
Avi Steinberg, The Lost Book of Mormon: A Journey Through the Mythic Lands of Nephi, Zarahemla, and Kansas City, Missouri

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