Double Entendre Quotes

“Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.”
― Mae West, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said

“Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila.”
― Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

“Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.”
― L. Frank Baum

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.”
― Zsa Zsa Gabor

“She leaned into him to soak up his warmth.
"You are so hot," she said.
"It's about time you noticed," he teased.”
― C.C. Hunter, Awake at Dawn

“The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.”
― Mel Brooks

“I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.”
― Craig Ferguson

“He's the sort of guy that gets a laugh out of people.”
― Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

“Tis better to have love and lust
Than to let our apparatus rust.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

“You’re terrible at this whole ‘tell me whatever I want to know’ thing.” My hand goes to the crossbow, but I don’t pick it up.

He sighs. “Just ask me something. Ask about my tail. Don’t you want to see it?” He raises his brows.”
― Holly Black, The Cruel Prince

“Why don't you and I have a nice penetrating man-to-man conversation?”
― Sanami Matoh, Fake, Volume 04

“He nodded to my fiddle case. "Why didn't you come play with me?" Immediately he rolled his eyes at himself. "That's not what I meant."
I didn't point out that if he was constantly hearing double entendres in his own words, he had a dirtier mind than he wanted to let on. Sam having a dirty mind was okay with me. It was adorable, actually, as long as his mind was on me.”
― Jennifer Echols, Dirty Little Secret

“Ye Gods and Little Fishes," said Sir Henry, "can it be? George, it's my own particular, one and only four starred Pussy. The super Pussy of all old Pussies...”
― Agatha Christie, A Murder Is Announced

“Fuck you.”

Finn glanced her over, once, leisurely, and when his eyes returned to her flushed and angry face, he said, “You certainly did.”
― Nenia Campbell, Star Crossed

“With a low sound, he moved against her so that her backside was flush with his hips and she could feel every inch of him through his boxers.

There were a lot of inches.”
― Nenia Campbell, Star Crossed

“If someone says to you, “you’re a sight for sore eyes”—make sure it’s a compliment.”
― Clifford Cohen

“You heard Alanna. Someone’s got to be on you at all times.” His dark eyes glinted with a hot sort of mischief, his double entendre clear as day.”
― Katherine McIntyre, Waking for Winter

“I cleared my throat and tried to sound casual, like this was no big deal. “I don’t even get cheesy seduction music?”
Jack shook his head. “I usually do this a cappella.”
“You mean unaccompanied?”
“No, I haven’t done this unaccompanied since I was fourteen.”

-Ella & Jack”
― Lisa Kleypas, Smooth Talking Stranger

“He, as he told his tale, did not look her in the face, but sat with his eyes fixed upon her muff.”
― Anthony Trollope, The Last Chronicle of Barset

“Get down off ‘at cross;
Somebody needs the wood!”
― Dolly Parton

“Nay, many a maiden has loved me,
Thou may of the glittering armlet:
For I've tricks of the tongue to beguile them
And turn them from handsomer lads.”
― William Gershom Collingwood, The Life and Death of Cormac the Skald

“Lorraine"Goldie Showers"Showalter was past her prime.Once a fair skinned Las Vegas showgirl,now a lonely and love starved woman.The years of relentless sunshine discolored her previous lovely skin from pink to saddle-back orange.Her hair color came from a bottle as did her sharp tongue.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
"Wilbur will when nobody will”
― Marc M. Minnick

“What’s a blow job?” Trevor asked, looking at both of us and setting the pumpkin down.

“Um,” I said. Having never dealt with children, I decided to let the seasoned expert handle this one.

“Bryce was talking about them but he didn’t seem to really know either,” Trevor added.
“It’s a … joke,” Faisal said. “Just a joke.”
“Like a gag?”
Faisal opened his mouth to say something but just nodded for a second before saying, “That’s definitely one way of looking at it, yes.”
“I heard a pretty good blow job earlier,” Trevor said.”
― Tyler James Smith, Unstoppable Moses

“When most of the football players had left the closet, it was safe enough to pick my material.”
― Jason June, Jay's Gay Agenda

“He was HOT. I sometimes forgot that since I'd been careful to shove him in the "boss box".”
― Ella Frank, Bad Intentions

“How does it feel to be the one us kitchen guys sweat over?"
I parsed through his question, trying to decide if the double entendre had been intentional. But one look at his face---full-on man smolder---and I realized that it had.”
― Hillary Manton Lodge, A Table by the Window

“Bridge. Ha!.."
"Have you ever played?"
"I don't play anyone's games, especially hers...”
― Brooke Lea Foster, Summer Darlings

“No Throat So Deep by Stewart Stafford

“I'd like you to meet Mrs Koch-Gobbelaar,”
I weighed up the overture long and hard,
"I'm licking my lips without drool!" I replied,
“Amazeballs!” he said, “Tonight, you'll meet.”

We came early, but she didn’t take umbrage,
“Spread out all over my ballroom,” she said,
She told us how the rooms were hanging,
Up the elevator shaft to the top floor and left.

Mrs Koch-Gobbelaar made vegetarian claims,
But we found her smuggled stash of beef jerky,
Her ex-husband split and became a eunuch,
He died bone-tired with limp alibis on his urn.

© Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“Mr Grant, who did not understand his cousin's peculiar devotion to this form of mental stimulus, was ready enough to ride on a cock two or three times, but felt a distinct uneasiness at the form of half a crown's worth of this exercise. However Delia looked so happy and so pretty, with the flush of excitement on her face, that he determined to endure as long as possible.”
― Angela Thirkell, The Brandons