Dick Quotes

Quotes tagged as "dick" Showing 1-30 of 66
George Carlin
“I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's nothing wrong with suckin' dicks. Men do it, women do it; can't be all bad if everybody's doin' it. I say, Drop the pipe, and go to the dick! That's my advice. I'm here to help.”
George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Molly Harper
“I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian."
He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--"
I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends.”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“If looks could kill...well, Dick was already dead, so nothing would happen. But Gabriel was not laughing.
"See Dick," Dick said, pointing at his chest. He then swept his hand dangerously close to mind. "Jane. Dick and Jane. Come on, you humorless jackass. That's funny.”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad. "
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?"

"You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy.

"Oh, big deal, " Missy huffed. "It's the ugliest dog I've ever seen. "

"You tried to hurt my dog, " I said again.

"I would have been doing you a favor. " Missy sneered.

"Nobody. Screws. With. My. Dog. " I growled, punctuating each word with a punch to Missy's face. I gave an upper cut to the chin that sent her flying back into a pile on the ground.

Zeb grinned at Dick and Gabriel. "Told you. ”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair.
Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen."
"Maybe they'll get muddy," Dick said. "Please, Lord, let them get muddy.”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends."
"You're a twisted little man."
"Come on, Stretch, share with the class."
"No!" I laughed.
"Prude."
"Perv."
"Schoolmarm."
"Some other word that essentially means perv.”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered.”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile.
Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast.
"What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?
Too harsh?”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“Jane Jameson."
He grinned. "Like the porn star."
I gaped at him. "What? No, Jane Jameson."
"Oh, not as fun," he said, making disappointed clucking noises.”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple.”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Molly Harper
“Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad."
I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent.
Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?"
"You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy.”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Erin McCarthy
“Diesel better have a big dick, that's all she was saying.”
Erin McCarthy, Slow Ride
tags: big, dick, man

Robert Kirkman
“You sick fuck. Tear my pants off, prick. See what I got. I'll knock your fucking teeth out with my swinging dick! Last chance... you force yourself into that woman... and I'll force this knife into your dick hole!”
Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead, Vol. 26: Call to Arms

Robert Kirkman
“Your mouth says "No," but your eyes say, "Fuck me until your dick breaks off inside me and fuses into some kind of barbie doll crotch.”
Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead, Vol. 26: Call to Arms

M.F. Moonzajer
“A dick does not make you a man; so stop showing it around.”
M.F. Moonzajer

Philip K. Dick
“Era come se avessi tremato per tutta la vita, a causa di una cronica corrente sotterranea di paura. Tremare, scappare, finire nei guai, perdere le persone che amavo. Come un personaggio dei cartoni animati invece di una persona, mi resi conto. Un cartone animato degli anni Trenta, ammuffito. Dietro a tutto quello che avevo fatto c'era sempre stata la paura di spingermi.”
Philip K. Dick, VALIS

“Dieser Rock hat einen Dehnbund, das heißt, die Nudeln haben Platz!”
Ralf Kühler

Alan Semrow
“You’re literally driving me to my dick appointment right now. This is golden and I’ll never forget it.”
Alan Semrow, Ripe: Letters

Inio Asano
“I like your dick better than you.”
Inio Asano, A Girl on the Shore

Yoon Ha Lee
“Unless you have some archaic problem with being a womanform?”
“Shuos-zho,” Jedao said patiently, “I haven’t had a dick in four hundred years. I got over it fast, promise.”
Yoon Ha Lee, Raven Stratagem
tags: dick

“...I got the word. It's get out of town, and it wasn't even from Mel Torme.

"If Natalie were here, she'd say Torme has the best pipes in town," said Elena.

"Anyone else might say that. What Nat would say is he has the biggest pipe in town.”
Joyce Haber, The Users

Joshua Cohen
“David chopped and grimaced. “To be honest,” he said, “I never understood anything with a dick in it.”
Joshua Cohen, Moving Kings
tags: dick

“Since when do you have to go home to suck cock?" asked David.”
Joyce Haber, The Users

“Gasping, screaming, rocking sideways and back and forth, she came. She kept his prick inside her until she felt yet another surge of his fuck. She came. He had come three times, she twice. And Marina wanted to come again.”
Joyce Haber, The Users

Philip K. Dick
“But then one day, while lifting out an electric corn popper from under the sink, Arctor had hit his head on the corner of a kitchen cabinet directly above him. The pain, the cut in his scalp, so unexpected and undeserved, had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. It flashed on him instantly that he didn't hate the kitchen cabinet: he hated his wife, his two daughters, his whole house, the back yard with its power mower, the garage, the radiant heating system, the front yard, the fence, the whole fucking place and everyone in it.”
Philip K. Dick, A Scanner Darkly

Arthur Ransome
“P...U...D...D...I...N...G"
"Pudding," said Roger. "They've kept some for us."
"She hasn't finished the word," said Dick.
Titty was reading steadily on. "H...E...A...D...S...End of word”
Arthur Ransome, Pigeon Post

Steve Almond
“I remember he said, “if you had a dick you’d be dangerous." It’s the kind of comment that sticks with a woman”
Steve Almond, Which Brings Me to You

Steve Almond
“his dick, for example, was just that. It wasn’t odd or typical. It just was, by god. And isn’t that nice?”
Steve Almond, Which Brings Me to You

Melanie Harlow
“My dick might have been a little sad and lonely, but my heart was doing just fine.”
Melanie Harlow, Insatiable
tags: dick, heart, sad

Mark B. Borg Jr.
“The best way to avoid dicks: Don't be one.”
Mark B. Borg Jr., Don't Be A Dick: Change Yourself, Change Your World

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