Connie R. Clay's Blog, page 10

Mean Girls in the Corner Office

 

In my first several jobs, I met women who wanted me to succeed. Whether or not they were assigned to supervise or mentor me, they stood with me, made sure I learned company culture and showed me how to excel at my work. As far as they were concerned, if I did well, it was a win for all women in the office.

In 2011, I met my first “mean girl” at work. She had been assigned to mentor me in a new position. She would leave 2-3 messages about the same topic before I could get into the office in the morning. She made a point of leaving her coffee mug on my desk before I arrived so that I knew that she had been looking for me. She bombarded me with “urgent” assignments. One day, I just left and drove around for about an hour. I spoke to a friend who helped me to calm down and go back to work. When I returned, I prepared a detailed email to the managers over this woman and gave them examples of her behavior. Do you know what happened? Nothing. I eventually resigned from the position primarily to get out of her line of fire.

A few days ago, a coworker said to me, “I don’t know what I did, she just won’t leave me alone.” This coworker was referring to a manager in my office who makes a career of hazing and harassing employees for sport. The only way to avoid her unprofessional treatment is to bring her lunch or to decorate her office for her birthday.

I asked my female Facebook friends if they had this problem. One said her female bosses were usually jealous of her and tried to compete with her. Another friend said that her female bosses often lacked professionalism and questioned her integrity.

Here is what you need to know to work with a mean girl at work:

1. Many women who are promoted into management are not leaders. They foolishly believe that having received the title means they are qualified to lead. When they find themselves overwhelmed, they are too embarrassed to ask for help. They attempt to cover their incompetence by micromanaging the few pieces of their jobs that they understand.

2. Mean girls are unhappy. They have no social life and an unsatisfying home life. Their worlds revolve around the office. They resent those who have varied interests outside of the workplace.

3. They don’t understand why their subordinates don’t want what they have. If your mean girl works 12-16 hours a day and rarely sees her family, she doesn’t understand why you won’t come into the office and work overtime on Saturday. Her world view is so small that she actually feels insulted that you don’t want to be in the workplace a second longer than your 40-hour week.

4. They are starved for attention. Like a naughty child, a mean girl craves attention even if it’s negative. You must learn to ignore her most of the time. The mean girl at work is the queen of the snide comment. Act like you don’t hear her. If you get upset or respond in any other way, you’ve encouraged more of the bad behavior.

5. They will test you to see if you’re a good victim. In my office, the resident bully demanded that I take leave for time that I actually worked. I refused. The bully tried this tactic with at least two other employees. One of them refused to take leave. The other one, hoping to keep the peace, took leave as instructed. Guess which one is still being bullied?

6. They are convinced that the business will always defend them. The business will back them up until they aggravate the wrong person (someone well connected) or until defending union grievances and EEOC complaints becomes too expensive.

7. You have to decide if taking legal action, contacting human resources or leaving the workplace is your best option. The Workplace Bullying Institute at www.workplacebullying.org is an excellent place to start for information about this problem and possible solutions.

Perhaps this post lets you know that you are not alone. It’s not in your head. If you can’t discuss these problems at work, talk through these issues with a trusted friend or relative. You should also consider counseling either through your health insurance or through your employer’s Employee Assistance Program.

 

Your Exit Strategy

Last week we talked about your job, which includes the hours you invest to do it, the salary you receive and whether the position brings you joy. In answering some simple questions about your work, maybe you felt the need to consider making changes. Well change is hard. You’re in a routine. You know where you’re going five days a week and what you’re expected to do. You’ve grown accustomed to the foolishness at your current workplace. However, there are risk-free actions that you can take as you evaluate your work life.

1. Accept that you have choices. Perhaps you have not refreshed your skills or you can’t imagine looking for another job. Whatever your situation, you have choices, and you must constantly remind yourself of that fact. For example, if you are an attorney, but you’ve always dreamed of owning a restaurant, you have the choice to consult with restaurant owners or you can get a part time job working at a restaurant to sample your idea.

2. What are you good at doing? What do you love doing? That intersection is the sweet spot. Maybe you’re really good with children and you love taking care of children. Perhaps you are an efficient administrative assistant, and you are delighted when your work makes your boss look great. This is a good time to do a spiritual gifts inventory. Visit http://www.lifeway.com/Article/Women-Leadership-Spiritual-gifts-growth-service for a free test. It takes about 45 minutes to thoughtfully complete the assessment. More than likely your results will confirm what you already know.

3. Know what you don’t know. Maybe you think that the only way to earn a living is by going and punching a clock five days a week. I challenge you to learn about other options. I recommend that you read The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. There are strategies and case studies in this book that will show you that the 9-5 model is only one way to get paid. Even if you have no interest in entrepreneurship, this book will show you several methods to be a more valuable employee.

I’m listening to the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown. When I first heard about this book, I thought it would teach me how to produce more work. I’m about three quarters of the way through this book, and it is actually teaching me how to relentlessly choose the great things in life over the good or average. After listening to this book in the car for a few days, I realized that I needed to be more diligent about taking care of my temple and taking time to sit and do nothing.

4. Sit and do nothing. Begin this habit on a day when you don’t have to go to work. Choose a quiet place to just sit and think for 30 minutes. This means no reading, listening to music or urging offspring to do homework. Perhaps you will need to sit in the parking lot at work before or after your business day. When your brain is bombarded with billboards, the radio, and other background noise, it is not as effective at tackling the more important issues. When you sit and do nothing, you are giving your brain the opportunity to be creative and to solve problems.

5. Seek validation. If you don’t receive professional validation in your current position, you need to seek it from other sources. Chair a committee at your church. Volunteer in your community. Everyone needs an external pat on the back. I also recommend Toastmasters, which is an organization that helps individuals to improve their speaking and leadership skills. Most cities have several clubs that meet before work, midday, after work and on weekends. I tried several clubs before I joined one. Visit www.Toastmasters.org for additional information. Membership fees are about $70 a year depending on the club. If you’re in the Jacksonville, Florida area, I would welcome the opportunity to have you as my guest at a meeting. Email me or message me on Facebook, and we’ll set up a time.

There are dozens of things to do to prepare for a job change. These five steps prepare you to obtain a better job, tolerate your current position a little longer or consider starting your own business.

5 Questions to Ask about Your Job

Do you like your job? Do you have a good salary and good benefits? If you became independently wealthy tomorrow and all of your current and future expenses were covered, would you continue going to that job? Do you look forward to getting up and going to work every morning or do you dread it? If you’re still reading, my bet is that you don’t like your job, but for some reason, you feel stuck. Maybe your job is stable. Maybe the money is fabulous. Maybe you don’t have to do much work. Maybe you have a health problem and you’re not willing to walk away from good health insurance. Today, I want to challenge you to reconsider staying in a position that doesn’t fill you with joy. Think about these things:

1. Time. If you work from 8am-5pm Monday through Friday, and you spend two hours in the morning getting dressed and getting to work and one hour in the afternoon getting home, you’re investing 60 hours a week into that position. However, there are 168 hours in every week. Assuming you sleep eight hours a night, you have 112 waking hours a week. So, you’re spending more than 50% of your waking hours working and getting to and from work.

2. Well-being. When you’re at work, do you feel good about what you’re doing? Do you believe in the cause? Do you like your coworkers? How does your boss make you feel? Thinking about the fact that you spend over 50% of your waking hours at work, do you like feeling this way half the time that you’re awake?

3. Your example. How do you behave around your family in the morning as you’re preparing for work? What work related stories are you sharing with your loved ones? How’s your Sunday afternoon? Does your mood turn sour as you think about Monday morning?

4. Your legacy. Would you sit down with your son or daughter and encourage the child to do what you do? Children pay close attention to what you do, more so than what you say. Several years ago, a pediatrician asked my oldest daughter if she wanted to be a lawyer like her mom. My daughter said, no, because my mom complains too much.

5. Your money. Are you being paid what you’re worth? Are you able to meet your current obligations, save for your future and spend money on some luxuries? Do you have to work overtime or a second job to make ends meet?

I want you to ask yourself these questions and consider whether you like the answers. Discuss these topics with your spouse or your best friend. If you don’t like your answers or the whole discussion makes you uneasy, tune in next week, and I’ll give you some suggestions for creating an exit strategy.

My Imperfect Mother

This is the time of year when there will be TV programs, articles and social media posts about saintly mothers who kept immaculate homes, started businesses and baked cookies in their spare time. For several years I had conflicting feelings surrounding Mother’s Day. My mother struggled with untreated depression, anxiety and alcoholism for most of her life. She didn’t live up to her potential, and she was not always a nice person to be around. On this first Mother’s Day as a motherless daughter, I choose to focus on what my mother did well. She taught me the following lessons by her example:

1. Don’t work as hard as you can.

My mother was a public school librarian for over 30 years. Although she could have made more money and advanced professionally, she rarely worked after school or during the summer. As a child and as a young woman, I thought my mother was lazy. Now, as I am deliberately redesigning my life, I applaud her for spending her summers reading, watching TV, tending to her house plants and maintaining one of the most beautiful lawns in her neighborhood.

2. Make an effort to look great on the outside regardless of how you feel on the inside.

My mother loved classic fashions. She insisted on only the best quality clothing. While she was often sad or angry about the hand that life dealt her, she was always impeccably dressed and groomed. She wore tailored suits to chemotherapy the last 18 months of her life. I think that liking the reflection in the mirror helped my mother to feel better about herself.

3. Discipline your children in public without embarrassing them.

My mother was the queen of the “evil eye.” Probably more than most mothers, she saw my brother and me as reflections of her parenting. If we were loud or unruly in public, there would be an admonishment in a conversational tone at the scene of the crime. The leather belt was only applied behind closed doors.

4. Accept help from trusted family and friends.

My parents divorced when my brother and I were six and four years old respectively. My mother took my brother and me to our grandparents’ home most weekends, and we spent most summers with my grandparents. This arrangement gave my mother a well-deserved break from single parenting, and it allowed my grandparents to shower us with their love and wisdom.

5. Forgive.

One of my first memories is of my parents arguing on Christmas Day when I was about six years old. For most of my childhood, my mother was sparring with my father and my stepmother. However, about six weeks before I graduated from law school, my mother, father and great aunt pooled their resources to buy my first car. At some point, my parents began conferring with each other on what was best for their children. They could not have worked together the last 20 years of their lives if my mother had not forgiven my father.

While some women may seem better equipped to nurture their offspring, all mothers teach lessons. Our job is to look past the mistakes, the disappointments and the hurt and focus on the lasting value gained from our imperfect mothers.

Summer Slim Down?

I’ve seen many social media posts about slimming down for summer. I believe that we should aim for wellness forever, not being slim for a season. When you aim for a certain weight by a certain time, you put yourself on a roller coaster. You diet, lose weight, return to your old habits and regain the weight. Continually doing this slows down your metabolism and makes it harder and harder to reach your fitness goals.

From the time that I was 12 years old until I was well into my 40’s, I tried diet pills, injections, and some of the programs that you see advertised on TV. I never maintained weight loss with any of these programs, and my health got worse and worse. Once I learned the truth and changed my thinking, I lost over 40 pounds, left the diabetes danger zone, conquered chronic insomnia, and began living a happy and healthy life. As I learned about the foods to eat and the things to do to get healthy and stay in shape, I created a doable program that has become habit. Last year, I wrote a book about my journey to wellness.

Quit Skinny! 7 Simple, Sane Steps to Wellness teaches you the best foods to eat, how to work exercise into your schedule and how to actually use your mouth to help yourself to fitness. To help you enjoy wellness for the rest of your life, I’m giving away the Kindle version of the book for a few days. No strings attached! From Monday, May 4, 2015 through and including Friday, May 8, 2015, you can download your copy right here. Please pass this no lose offer on to anyone you know who needs help with a reasonable wellness plan. Give the Quit Skinny! plan a couple of weeks. You will be feel better inside and out. Email me or post on my Facebook page and tell me about your successes and challenges. I’m for you. You can do this!

 

 

Depression and Anxiety

If your child has an earache, you’re going to make an appointment and take him to the
doctor.  If your husband is constantly complaining about back pain, you’re going to insist
that he see a chiropractor or another medical professional.  But when it comes to mental health, especially our own, we tend to accept the problem and suffer without treatment.

This week, I challenge you to make mental health treatment a priority.  The Lord created us in His image.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  However, we live in a fallen world. We were raised by imperfect parents.  For most of our waking hours, many of us spend our time in hostile, ungodly work environments.  All of these factors can create or magnify anxiety, depression and other mental ailments.  There is no shame in getting help.  Having an occasional melt down or blue day is not cause for concern. However, if you are regularly crying at work or about work, it’s time to get help.  If thinking about work or a coworker makes your heart beat fast, you must address the problem.  Begin by scheduling an appointment with your primary care provider.  She may prescribe an anti-depressant which will help you sleep and help control depression and anxiety.  Your primary provider may refer you to a psychiatrist and or a therapist.


Depending on where you live and the insurance you have, you may have to wait a
few weeks before you are able to get professional help.  You should also check and see if your employer has an employee assistance program.  Most large employers including the federal government provide this service.  Although benefits vary, most employers will pay for up to six visits with a mental health professional.  Most employers will also provide you with a reasonable amount of leave to go to the appointments.

Nothing in this blog post is a substitute for medical advice and treatment. However, there are good habits that you can develop that will prevent or lessen the effects of depression and anxiety.


1.  Eat one or two ounces of dark chocolate a day.  Dark chocolate will help to raise your serotonin, which improves your mood. For more benefits of eating dark chocolate, read this short and informative article,
http://www.rd.com/health/healthy-eating/3-health-benefits-of-dark-chocolate/.

2.  Consume healthy carbs such as whole wheat pasta, brown rice, sweet potatoes, oranges, bananas, mangoes, and berries.  Healthy carbs will give you an extra boost of energy, which helps you to feel better.

3.  Play.  For me this means reading for 30 minutes before bed or watching an episode of Fresh Off the Boat or Blackish.  Schedule 30 minutes of play time a day.  Play gives you something to look forward to, and while you’re playing, you are getting a break from the problems at home and at work.


4.  Avoid social media.  On my Facebook feed, I see pictures of babies and grand babies, old friends having dinner, and weddings.  As I write this blog post, I have large curlers in my hair and hot pink slippers on my feet.  You’ll never see me looking like this on Facebook.  Instead, when I’m wearing a new dress, and my hair is perfect, I’ll upload a picture of myself grinning like a Cheshire cat.  When you’re feeling down about life, you don’t need an endless loop of pictures of people pretending to have perfect lives.   There are no social media emergencies.  If you take a break for a couple of weeks, anyone who really needs you will call, text or email you.  







5.  Cross some items off your to do list.  If you can complete the task in five minutes or less, do it.  If you can delegate it to someone who will get it done reasonably well, delegate it.  If it’s not that important, just decide you’re not going to do it.   No guilt.  

6.  Exercise.  Getting all sweaty and stinky is good for your heart, your joints and your brain.  While you’re exercising, feel good hormones are released that instantly improve how you feel.  For an excellent review of all the mental health benefits of exercise, click on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/27/mental-health-benefits-exercise_n_2956099.html.

7.  Control your thoughts.  If Susie Jones at work goes out of her way to belittle you, maybe you can’t avoid her at work, but you don’t have to think about her on your time. When she comes to mind, think about something pleasant.  My go to pleasant place is the beach in Ochos Rios, Jamaica.  I make myself remember the turquoise waters, the beachy smell and the warm breezes on my skin. I can go to that beach in my mind anytime I want to.  No passport required!  Find your happy place, and visit it often.




When you make  your mental health a priority, you are a better mom, friend, sister and
daughter because your emotions are under control.  When you are mentally healthy, you are a more effective employee because you’re not distracted by problems, and you’re more efficient.  The most important reason to address any mental health issues is you. The second most important reason is the people you love. They deserve the best you. To get help for yourself or someone you love, visit www.mentalhealth.gov. 

Insomnia Recovery

Last week, I told you the steps I take to sleep well. During the years that I suffered from insomnia, the days following a night of sleeplessness were awful. I was tired, grumpy and unfocused. Although nothing can substitute for restorative sleep, there are some things you can do to feel better and function well when you could not sleep the night before.

Morning

Get up at your regular time. Even if you can take the day off, try to maintain your usual schedule.
Have a breakfast that is high in protein and good carbs. Consider eggs, cheese, Canadian bacon, or yogurt for your protein. For your good carbs, have oatmeal, whole wheat toast, an orange, an apple or a mango. Drink green tea and caffeinated coffee before 10 am.
Do not consume any caffeine after 10 am or 12 hours before your regular bedtime.
Get 15-20 minutes of sunshine without sunscreen. If you’re fair skinned or have a personal or family history of skin cancer, check with your medical provider before using this tip.

Afternoon

For lunch, load up on good carbs such as whole wheat pasta, brown rice, and whole grain breads. Have plenty of fruits and veggies such as berries and sweet potatoes.
Get at least 30 minutes of heart pumping exercise, preferably outside.
Take a 10-30 minute nap at least six hours before your bedtime.

Evening

Avoid stressful activities like paying bills or dealing with difficult people.
Have a light dinner like a grilled chicken salad or a sandwich.
Avoid watching TV and using cell phones and other electronics two hours before bedtime.
One hour before bed, chew two Tums to prevent heartburn.
30 minutes before bed have a small, protein based snack. Try yogurt, turkey, cheese or nuts.
Engage in a quiet, calming activity before bed.

You probably noticed that some of the evening activities are similar to the suggestions for getting a good night’s sleep.  You have to mentally and physically condition yourself for good sleep.  Good rest prevents ailments such as diabetes and heart disease.  When you sleep at least seven hours a night, you’re less likely to gain unwanted weight.  For more information on how to sleep well and the benefits of adequate rest, visit www.sleepfoundation.org.

 

 

 

 

7 Steps to a Good Night’s Sleep

 

For several years, I suffered with insomnia.  I would go to bed but not be able to get to sleep, or I’d go to sleep and wake up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep.  During those years, I had significant personal and professional problems.  Being sleep deprived, left me less equipped to address my issues.  Slowly, I learned a system that helps me sleep well most of the time.   One of these tips or a combination of these tips should help you to consistently sleep seven or eight hours every night.

Watch your mouth. Don’t call yourself an insomniac.  Don’t announce to yourself or to anyone else that you can’t sleep or that you can only sleep a few hours a night.  You can literally speak poor sleep into existence.  Start believing and speaking about good sleep.
Eliminate caffeine 12 hours before bed. Yes, you read 12 hours, not 2 hours.  Caffeine can affect you for up to 14 hours after you consume it.  This is not a permanent restriction, but you will need to regulate your consumption while you’re establishing a good sleep pattern.
Establish a bedtime ritual. If you raised a child, you had an evening ritual.  Dinner, bath, story, bed, etc.  Your child knew what to expect.  You must train your brain and your body.  Here is a suggested procedure:


45 minutes before bed, have a small, protein based snack such as yogurt, turkey, cheese or nuts (nothing chocolate covered)
30 minutes before bed, brush and floss your teeth, wash your face, turn your bed back
15 minutes before bed, turn the temperature down in your bedroom about two degrees lower than normal
10 minutes before bed, read, knit, practice yoga or do any other activity that is relaxing


Turn your bedroom into a sanctuary. Don’t pay bills or do any work in your bedroom.  If the unused treadmill is a source of stress, move it to another room.  Remove the TV from your bedroom.  Paint your walls soft, relaxing colors.  Choose calm colors for your linens.
Drink chamomile tea an hour or so before bed. Everyone’s body is different, but some studies suggest that this tea helps you to relax and sleep.
Try lavender essential oil. Rub some on your wrists and under your nose.  Inhale deeply as you’re going to sleep.
Turn off the electronics. Two hours before bed, turn off the TV, cell phone, and computer.  Yes, this one is probably tough, but the blue light in these devices, that you can’t see, can disrupt your natural sleep cycle.

If you consistently do these things, and you still are not able to sleep, discuss the issue with your medical provider.  Your problem could be health related.

 

5 Ways to Find Time for You

 

More and more, we are hearing that we need to put ourselves first, that we need to engage in “self-care.”  But if you work full time, manage a home and have a family, carving out a few hours to look after you can seem like another chore that will not get done.  Allow me to give you five suggestions for how to find some time to take care of yourself.

Take a day off

If your child, spouse or best friend needed a medical procedure, you would take the day off to be there.  If you were redoing the floors in your home, you’d probably need to take at least one day off, maybe a few more.  Use a day of leave just for you.  Let your family know that you’re taking the day off to pamper yourself.  Don’t accept any errands from them!  Use your day off to sleep late, get a massage, binge watch your favorite show or catch up on your reading.  When my children were young, I took a mental health day for me every three months.  I’d watch videos (this was pre-Netflix); go out to lunch, or even go to a movie.

Spread Saturday’s activities into the rest of the week

I have a bad habit of scheduling 30 hours’ worth of activities for Saturday.  I know better, but I do it anyway.  I’m betting that you do the same thing.  If I were going out of town on Saturday or had an all-day event, I would add Saturday’s tasks to the rest of the week.  I could do a load of laundry one week night, go to the grocery store another night and pay bills one night.  By moving these activities to weeknights, I open up my Saturday.  Having a Saturday off just for you is worth the sacrifice of doing some extra chores during the week.

Hire some help

I’m a perfectionist.  A part of me believes that only I can do certain things well.  However, I’ve gotten better at farming out work.  Perfectionism is time consuming.  My youngest daughter can clean our entire house in two hours.  No, she does not get every spot.  It takes me three hours to get about half the house done.  Now and then, I will hire a housekeeper to clean the house the way I want it cleaned.  I will not take a Saturday to clean the house; it’s just not a good use of my time.   I’ve had my taxes done by a CPA for about 10 years now. Yep, I could do it myself with an online program, but I don’t want to spend one minute lying in bed wondering if I forgot something, nor do I want to invest the time in doing my taxes.  One more example, I had my house painted about 18 months ago.  I hired a church friend to put things back in place.  She was just starting her organizing business, and I needed help, so it was a good match.  It would have taken me several hours over a few weeks to get the house back in order without her help.

Trade with a friend or relative

If you have a friend or relative, whom you trust, ask her to fill in for your one afternoon.  Have her cook, tidy up and pick up the children from their practices while you have a little me time.  Make sure you agree in advance how you’re going to repay her.

 

 

Schedule medical appointments for midday or early afternoon

This only works if your medical provider is usually on time.  If you usually work until 5 or 6 in the evening, schedule your medical appointments for about 1 or 2 in the afternoon.  You should be finished by 3:00 p.m.   Don’t go back to work!  Take those extra two or three hours and have some well-deserved me time.  Last week, I was finished with my mammogram at 4:00 p.m.  I spent 30 minutes sitting outside and enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.  Next, I went and had an early dinner.  To top off my time with me, I went dress shopping.  Some women are into shoes, I love dresses!

Have a “me day” or at least a few me hours once a month.  By taking the time to love on yourself, you will be more loving and patient with your family and friends.  Taking time to refresh yourself will actually make you a more effective employee.  Everyone benefits when you take care of you.

Thriving in a Hostile Work Environment, Part 2

In this final installment of my series on working in a hostile work environment, I challenge you to shift your thinking. Instead of dreading going to work, I want you to consider why you go to work. If you go for the money and benefits, then own that reality. If you go because you would be bored sitting at home all day, that’s as good a reason as any to show up. The point is, you chose to go to work. We all know at least one person, who is not independently wealthy, but who chooses not to work. Somehow that person manages financially. Accept the fact that going to work is a choice.

Now, I want you to look at how you can gain the most from your employer.  Henry Kissinger said, “America has no permanent friends or enemies, only interests.” I want you to accept that jobs, clients and employers are temporary allies. Having benefits, making money, and developing skills are your permanent interests. Your employer pays you to show up. However, there are several more things that you can gain from work than money.

Contacts. While you’re at work, you can cultivate valuable relationships with coworkers, vendors and clients. Understand that most positions are not permanent. Assume that everyone you encounter can help you get to your next position or will bring you business when you get to the next position.  I worked for a government agency for 10 years before I opened a law practice. My former coworkers from that government agency hired me and referred their friends and family members to me. I made thousands of dollars from those contacts.


Skills. Maybe you dislike the work you’re currently doing. You dream of what you would do if only you could do anything else for a living. Consider the individual tasks that make up your job. If you’re a receptionist, decide to be the most pleasant and efficient receptionist who has ever greeted a customer. If you spend the day writing boring reports, use the opportunity to improve your grammar, punctuation and analysis of data.  Volunteer to coordinate an event so that you gain leadership experience. Ask your employer to pay for a class, training or coaching.  Decide that you’re going to get as much from your experience as possible.


Spiritual Development. We all have areas that need work. Have you noticed that the Lord gives you multiple opportunities to shore up your weaknesses? Let’s say that you’re impatient, and you work with people who annoy you. Humbly ask the Lord to help you to be tolerant of your coworkers. Perhaps you have a lazy spirit. Ask God to help you to do more than what is required at your job. Make it a daily goal to make spiritual improvements.

Consider your employer as your wealthy benefactor. While you’re cultivating contacts, sharpening your skills and developing spiritually, someone else is paying you money and providing benefits. When you start your own business or get the job you want, you’ll be ready to excel.