Tony Fahkry's Blog, page 40

The Secret To Living Life Without Regrets

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” — Jim Rohn 

Finding Your Motivation

Regret arises when you live a life less than what you are capable of.

It signifies going against the tide of your inner wisdom, essential to your personal growth.

Regret serves as a reminder your actions are not purposeful and a clearer intent is required.

“Regret is one of the most powerful emotional reminders that change and growth are necessary. In fact, I’ve come to believe that regret is a kind of package deal: A function of empathy, it’s a call to courage and a path toward wisdom,” affirms author Brené Brown in Rising Strong.

You must connect with a deeper motivation if you wish to live a life without regrets. This inner resource summons you to play better than what you have been.

Don’t hide behind excuses when life does not turn out as you hoped, since you are likely to become a victim instead of a victor.

Don’t hide behind excuses when life does not turn out as you hoped, since you are likely to become a…
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A popular saying is that life is unfair and events happen beyond our understanding. Whilst this may be true, everything happens within a purposeful order, leading to the unfolding of your personal evolution.

We cannot make sense of life because sometimes we don’t have access to certain information.

The father of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” He was affirming, there is no hidden meaning to events and things appear as they are. We add meaning to make sense of the world.

This does not mean life is unfair; rather we are unaware of the significance of those events.

Purposeful Action

That’s why you should be purposeful in your actions, instead of acting from a place of fear.

When you take inspired action, everything unfolds according to a greater plan. The pieces of the puzzle come together as they should, and not a moment sooner.

I am drawn to the guidance by author Robbie Vorhaus who states in One Less. One More: Follow Your Heart. Be Happy. Change Slowly, “Remember, regrets are not real, although they feel that way. Like fear, regrets are only thoughts in your mind, feedback that the ego is trying to control something it can’t.”

The secret to living without regrets is to act intentionally with what is of importance to you.

If you are dictated by what popular culture considers important, you are not honouring your deepest wisdom, but following the masses. This is likely to result in regrets and uninspired action.

Many of life’s problems result from following others, hoping they hold the key to your happiness.

This seldom works because these same people lead lives of quiet desperation, as the American essayist Henry David Thoreau affirmed.

One need only look to celebrities where fame is considered a measure of happiness. Just because they are adorned by millions, doesn’t mean their life is devoid of problems.

They pay a price for their fame that includes: unfulfilled lives, substance abuse, and psychological pain when trying to uphold a particular image.

“But it is clear that those who fail to risk being who they are, who shun diving into the journey, are the most fear-ridden, regretful, and recriminating. With such a compromised purchase on their own history, they blame others, castigate themselves, or live with debilitating regrets,” states author and Jungian analyst Dr. James Hollis in, What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life.

“Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend to and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.” — Henry David Thoreau

To live without regrets, pursue what you value most and fills your life with joy irrespective of what others consider.

This does not mean your actions should affect other people, though do not be dictated by what they consider important.

People will disapprove how you live your life because it does not conform to their opinions. It may jeopardise their self-esteem since they have not taken action to follow their goals or dreams.

This should not dissuade you from following your bliss as the American mystic, Joseph Campbell reminds us.

Similarly, people are afraid to try new things for fear of failure. When did failure embed itself in our psyche that it stopped us in our tracks?

Failure is merely feedback, alerting you to something that requires additional steps for completion. It should not impact your self-worth unless you allow it to.

Failure is merely feedback, alerting you to something that requires additional steps for completion.…
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Consider the advice from Dr. Alex Lickerman in The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self, “We can turn that hurt or regret into a catalyst for personal growth, into motivation for examining the reasons we made the choice in the first place and for asking ourselves how we might change to avoid making the same mistake again.”

A Compelling Why?

Regret rears its ugly head when your actions are not aligned with your why. This is your underlying motivation clothed in a deeper purpose.

Otherwise, you are likely to plod along and throw caution to the wind, hoping your efforts succeed. If it doesn’t, you experience regret and a blow to your self-esteem since you have not tied it with your intrinsic values.

Living in the present moment offers the opportunity to reconnect with what is important now.

You are constantly at the mercy of your thoughts, recalling the past or expecting the future to arrive as you hope for. Yet, you feel regret because the past does not match the mental image you expect.

Being present is not smooth sailing either because life has a way of pulling you into the future. Your friends, family or co-workers make plans for tomorrow or next week. Your diary is packed full of events months in advance.

It becomes natural to live this way, so your thoughts become fixed on being anywhere but now. Professor and psychologist Philip Zimbardo labels these people future-orientated.

Those who live in the now, experience a deep rapture and joy because they lose their connection to the past and future. They are attentive to the present moment, the source of their being.

Therefore, carve out time to reconnect with yourself and avoid getting caught up in the chaos of everyday life.

Life advances at a fast pace, it’s easy to lose sight of your inner needs until a major crisis appears. By then, it’s too late because the foundations that once held your life together have collapsed, taking your sense of purpose with it.

To reconnect with your inner intelligence, tune in to the voice of your inner self. This may be as: play, movement or any form of creative expression.

The child within wants to be heard. If you dismiss it because things out there distract you, you miss exploring what is vital to your joy and happiness.

I invite you to look unfavourably on regret and live an intentional life.

When you are aligned with something greater, there is no room for regret.

Instead, purposeful action commandeers the helm to lead you toward a life replete with fulfilment and bliss.

The post The Secret To Living Life Without Regrets appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

Stop Overanalysing Every Thought For Peace Of Mind

“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, “What else could this mean?” ― Shannon L. Alder

An Original Thought

A cascade of thoughts emerge from your mind with a life of their own. One minute everything is fine, the next you’re trapped in a web of destruction.

The thoughts lead you down a trail of nothingness, overwhelming you.

How does this happen and why do you allow yourself to get caught up in the anxiety?

It’s easy to become entangled in our thoughts because we experience them thousands of times a day.

Thoughts pass through our mind for no reason, and if we cling to them, they can cause emotional upheaval.

We give the most attention to thoughts related to our happiness and survival. Situations that disrupt our homeostasis are likely to result in overthinking.

However, overanalysing is a vicious cycle that doesn’t achieve much other than cause stress.

“Just like the child, we get lost in mental events…The more we fixate on and pay attention to these complex mental events, the more intricate the web of complexity that we generate,” states author and meditation master Orgyen Chowang in, Our Pristine Mind: A Practical Guide to Unconditional Happiness.

Contemplate this, when was the last time you had an original thought?

You may find it was weeks or months when you last encountered one. This is because you’re accustomed to reacting to outside events, so your thoughts reflect what’s taking place in reality.

Overthinking can lead to stress because our thoughts generate destructive emotions which affect our long-term health.

Overthinking can lead to stress because our thoughts generate destructive emotions which affect our…
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Our thoughts are harmful if we overanalyse them, instead of allowing them to pass through the mind unattached.

Recycled Thoughts

We’re notorious for recycling thoughts, so much that it blemishes the present moment.

We’re not really present but caught up in our minds.

Orgyen Chowang affirms, “The first step is to perceive that your mind is naturally pristine, and that your mental events are just passing through. You must deeply realize this.”

Remember back to a time when you were engaged in a leisure activity such as: a sport, a hobby or spending time with friends. Recall how time passed by and you’re absorbed in the present moment, not contemplating the future.

It’s possible to experience more of these “flow moments” according to Hungarian psychology professor, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Being in the flow means to be in the zone. It involves being immersed in your activity, so your thoughts are present instead of stuck in the past or future.

To avoid overanalysing thoughts, first recognise that it’s a natural process you must work with.

To accept we cannot stop negative thoughts means detaching ourselves from being invested in them. We don’t get involved in the mental drama and allow thoughts to flow through the mind, unopposed.

I appreciate Orgyen Chowang’s advice to practice meditation with our eyes open. He outlines three effective ways to bring our thoughts back to the present moment using the Pristine Mind meditation:

Don’t follow the past.
Don’t anticipate the future.
Stay in the present moment.

So, if we are overanalysing thoughts, we simply draw our awareness to the habit. This slows our overactive mind, so we become aware of what is taking place.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but you thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.” — Eckhart Tolle

“If we want peace of mind and better self-control, we need to accept that it is impossible to control what comes into our minds. All we can do is choose what we believe and what we act on,” affirms author Kelly McGonigal in The Willpower Instinct.

When driven by our impulses alone, we respond to what’s taking place within. We experience runaway thoughts and emotions and wonder how we got there.

What if we identified we’re overthinking and leaned away from the thoughts?

By practicing this simple process, your mind becomes attuned to experiencing thoughts without overwhelming you.

Thoughts are like horses tied to a chariot and you are the driver. If they suddenly take off, there’s little you can do to slow the chariot. However, if you take the reins, you’re well equipped to steer it in the direction of your choosing.

To appreciate the nature of your thoughts it’s important we carve out time to relax in silence.

To appreciate the nature of your thoughts it’s important we carve out time to relax in silence.
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We’re inundated with noise in our modern lives, we find it difficult to be alone in silence.

Yet, at some point we must set aside our phones, tablets or TV to carry out other tasks. This means reconnecting with ourselves and the natural flow of the mind.

“If you want to lead a more peaceful life, the primary focus should shift from external events to the inner, as a general practice,” avows Jan Frazier in, The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is.

Many people say they have little time to meditate because their lives are too busy. It’s these very people that meditation must become a priority.

Just because we can’t see our thoughts doesn’t mean everything is alright. During a crisis, we may fall to pieces and find it difficult to regain peace and happiness. This is because we have allowed ourselves to get caught up in the stress cycle instead of seeing it coming.

A good way to stop overanalysing thoughts is to move your body via exercise, even a brisk walk. This harmonises the mind and body so we become present, rather then dwelling in the past or future.

Do Thoughts Cause Stress?

Movement involves breathing which calms the body by activating the parasympathetic nervous system.

When overanalysing thoughts, we’re caught in a sympathetic dominant state. This produces stress hormones that are catabolic. These stress hormones have an adverse effect on our long-term health if we stay in this state for too long.

The parasympathetic branch is the brake on your car whereas the sympathetic is the accelerator. If you accelerate for too long, you’re bound to run out of petrol and grind to a halt or worse, crash.

The biggest movement in the Western world nowadays is mindfulness, which is bringing our thoughts to the forefront of our mind.

Psychologist and author Dr. Daniel Siegel has devised a strategy to notice destructive thoughts he calls, name and tame. When toxic thoughts emerge such as fear or anger, we recognise them and name them silently. In doing so, we become mindful instead of unconscious to our thinking.

Otherwise, we are at the mercy of our thoughts dictating our bad moods. This is clear when your mood changes for no reason throughout the day. Upon closer examination, negative thoughts have been brewing in your mind for days and have pulled you into a negative emotional state.

I enjoy Michael Neill’s perspective in his book, The Space Within: Finding Your Way Back Home who states, “And the best thing about experiencing the peace of mind is that it’s always available, regardless of who’s disappointed in you, what they’re disappointed about, and what you happen to be thinking about it at the time.”

It’s possible to find peace of mind with tranquil thoughts. However, it involves changing habits that no longer serve you.

If you’re committed to reversing these habits, start by witnessing your thoughts more often.

Gradually, they will occupy less energy and you’ll find life pleasant, without the inner chaos that often accompanies it.

The post Stop Overanalysing Every Thought For Peace Of Mind appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

Why Hope Will Get You Through Anything

“The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveller than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination.” — Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Fall of Atlantis

Life is full of twists and turns, it’s easy to become despondent.

Obstacles and adversities show up unexpectedly and we find ourselves out of our comfort zone.

People say life is unfair?

I presume they’re referring to life being unfavourable when things don’t go as planned.

Surely, we’re intelligent enough to know, we don’t always get what we want. Sorry to rain on your parade.

Regardless, one thing that’s helped me remain optimistic, is that not everything will go as planned and that’s okay. In fact, not getting what I want is often a good thing, since there’s often something greater on the horizon to fill its place.

We must accept life will be full of: obstacles, road blocks, negative emotions and circumstances that will derail our best laid plans. Knowing this should remove the burden, life is not pure sailing, but an adventure full of valleys and victories.

If you fear, “what could go wrong next,” you place an unnecessary burden on your shoulders while dreading the worst.

If you adopt a hopeful and optimistic heart, you can breathe easier and expect a more pleasant future.

Hope Has What It Takes

Hope is more valuable than we give it credit for. It’s a soft burning flame, unable to be extinguished and capable of enduring any conditions.

Hope is more valuable than we give it credit for. It’s a soft burning flame, unable to be…
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Hope has what it takes to get you through anything.

“People usually consider hope among the most wondrous of gifts: it keeps us going when we want to quit and makes possible victories that seem unattainable,” affirms author Dr. Alex Lickerman in The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self.

Hope is the belief things will work, especially when it seems otherwise. It helps you stay calm and peaceful when something less than desirable emerges.

Hope believes you will get through it.

Hope remembers the times you made it through.

Hope teams with faith and believes in the impossible.

Emotional Upheaval

When times are tough, our emotions are intensified and not symbolic of who we are.

When the boss tells you the company is downsizing and your position is terminated, when your son gets expelled from school, your partner decides they don’t know if they want to spend the rest of their life with you, the doctor gives you an adverse health report or your dog’s gone missing, then your emotions are in for a roller-coaster ride.

But with hope, your thoughts gravitate toward optimism.

We cannot expect life to be smooth sailing. Unexpected conditions arise, not to overwhelm us but to test our inner resolve and awaken us to our true power.

Our emotional response in such times, is not indicative of our true self. That’s because we respond to our external environment instead of staying composed.

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Lessons To Be Learned

Sometimes when a situation is bleak, you’re invited to master a lesson greater than you expect. This is when hope will get you through. If you lose your job, there might be a series of experiences during your transition of looking for another job.

You may realise you loathed your previous job and are now more determined to find a career path that makes you happy. Maybe you realise, you want to start your own business instead of working for someone. Consider this something to learn from instead of dwelling on the unfortunate setbacks.

Assuredly, there’s a lesson and inner growth contained within your circumstances, even if you can’t see it yet.

I appreciate the advice from author Jan Frazier in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is, “The reality is that in the interval between the start of hope and when the outcome occurs, you don’t know what’s going to happen. The ego-mind dislikes not knowing. Feeling hope is a way of avoiding the discomfort of uncertainty.”

Visualise A Positive Future

During hard times, do your best to envision a positive future. In fact, what you dwell upon is what you likely will get. Call it positive thinking, though what you hold in your mind is what you will receive.

Call it positive thinking, though what you hold in your mind is what you will receive.
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We’re the product of our emotions, given that we feel our way through life. If your emotions are fixed on negative aspects, you’re likely to attract those situations because of your predominant reactions.

The universe reflects what you put out into the ether.

As an example, if I entertain negative thoughts related to not having enough money to pay my bills, I’ll see evidence of this echoed in reality. I might notice a TV commercial discussing debt prevention or perhaps someone mentions their financial difficulties. If I’m aware, I recognise the warning signs that my thoughts are out of alignment. If I persist with these thoughts, it’s likely to materialise because I’ve willed it into existence, whether I like it or not.

“Scientists have repeatedly demonstrated that changing our perspective and focusing on aspects of the situation that are in our control can have a hugely beneficial impact on our hope, motivation, and self-esteem,” states author Guy Winch in Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries.

How do you see your future developing?

Close your eyes for a moment and visualise an optimistic path.

It requires work and discipline to create an intentional future and it can’t be achieved overnight. This is because you’re likely to slip into your old ways if you’re not mindful of your thoughts.

Unattached To Outcomes

The world is full of people who have overcome incredible hurdles and failures to become successful and happy. They’re unattached to outcomes because they appreciate that not everything goes as planned. When one door closes, another opens at the right time, as long as their thoughts are in alignment.

Allow life to weave her mysterious ways by being detaching from outcomes. What appears detrimental at first may simply be laying the groundwork for something greater later on.

Commit to a life of optimism, irrespective of the circumstances and raise the beacon of hope when times are tough. You can become confident through your willingness to see life from a different viewpoint.

The next time something doesn’t go as planned, draw on hope and declare, “It’ll be alright, I trust for the best in this situation” and chances are it will turn out as you intend.

Hope will get you through anything, but first you must create the circumstances for it to flourish, before it sets your world alight.

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How To Gain The Confidence To Live A Remarkable Life

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.” — Mark Twain

On A Wing And Prayer

A remarkable life begins with the intention to cast away the bowline on your former life, in exchange for new beginnings.

Whilst you may not know the steps required, you recognise your current experience is not what you want.

Once you state your intention to change your circumstances, the pieces of the puzzle will come together.

Most journeys are lined with detours, dead ends and eventual success. Our voyage comprises peaks and turning points where we confront our demons, only to rise above them.

“Your attitude and how you respond to both opportunity and setbacks are critical to pivoting. You need to develop habits that help you foster a positive mind-set, help you understand yourself, and increase your sense of control over your life,” affirms author Adam Markel in Pivot: The Art and Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life.

We must assume responsibility for our future which means accepting everything that arises along the way.

Nothing is gained overnight. Where success comes fast, it can be easily squandered, so don’t be in a haste to upgrade your life sooner. It’s not how fast you reach your destination, but the lessons and experiences that matter.

The Value Of Connections

We cannot create a remarkable life without the help of others. As social creatures, valued relationships can propel us to new heights.

We cannot create a remarkable life without the help of others. As social creatures, valued…
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My greatest life experiences resulted from connecting with people whom I thought had little to offer. However, they imparted precious wisdom and knowledge when I needed it most.

Similarly, it’s vital you surround yourself with people who sympathise with your cause and don’t sabotage your plans.

The world is full of detractors and cynics, unable to pursue their dreams. They may have failed and will insist you cannot succeed either.

Steer clear away from them. Grave diggers, as I call them, will find every excuse to convince you it can’t be done.

“The truth, in spite of what we might believe about remarkable people, is that you cannot master a skill on your own. Finding your calling will not happen without the aid and assistance of others. Every story of success is, in fact, a story of community,” states author Jeff Goins in The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do.

Humility and kindness will take you far because you never know when your circumstances will change. To repay the services of those who help you or by paying it forward, is something we must take into account.

Unearth your innate confidence, irrespective of the reality you face. This leads to a resolute conviction because you discover the essence of your nature in moments of determination.

Failure and rejection become your allies since anything of value requires: commitment, dedication and time.

Fear vs Faith

Don’t allow your fears and insecurities to cripple you.

Ninety percent of the world’s population don’t take action on their dreams because their fears overpower them. Gradually, the years slip away and they’ve achieved little, much to their regret.

They entertain disempowering thoughts that keep them safe within their comfort zone.

Yet, a safe refuge will seldom award you a remarkable life. It’s the assurance of an average life which I’m sure is not what you want.

“Who we are and where we want to go determine what we do and what we accomplish. A life lived on purpose is the most powerful of all— and the happiest,” state authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in The One Thing: The surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results.

“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.” — Tony Robbins

An extraordinary life is created by conceding parts of our life that are not working while attaining something greater.

To discover your calling is essential if you seek to align with purpose. Hidden in these treasures lies your passion, instead of a career or a job you loathe.

Those who pursue their purpose have an unwavering commitment to serve others and are pulled by the exuberance for life.

“You’re either remarkable or invisible,” declares author Seth Godin in his bestselling book, Purple Cow.

Follow Your Calling

I appreciate the notion to answer our calling since it’s grounded in purpose and intention, key aspects of universal wisdom. A calling can be as minor as writing poetry for family and friends or as grand as humanitarian efforts in third world countries.

Don’t succumb to those who advocate your calling is less than glamorous because if it resonates with you, there’s a good chance you’re following it.

There’s talk nowadays of pursuing happiness, that it’s now become a first world problem. At least we’ve reached the consensus, material possessions do not equate to fulfillment.

The greatest source of happiness arises from a focused purpose. It entails attending to big picture issues instead of trivial ones that occupy your time and energy.

You must trade the familiar for the uncertain and be guided by the appeal of the journey. For when you jump, the net will appear, but not a moment sooner until you take the plunge.

The promise of a remarkable life is a journey of self-discovery. It sets the intention and the seed of opportunity for the next phase of your life. You won’t know what the imminent future holds until you start out on the path.

Author Michael Neill reminds us of a wonderful message in his book The Inside-Out Revolution: The Only Thing You Need to Know to Change Your Life Forever, “How things ultimately turn out isn’t up to us. It never was. But if we do our bit and play our part, it’s remarkable how far we can go.”

You Have What It Takes

Don’t despair, you’re well adapted to surmount any circumstances life presents. All your needs have served you from birth until now and will continue to serve you as long as you maintain trust.

It’s not important what a remarkable life looks like, however we must believe it’s attainable. We should allow life to show us how to merge into this future and be willing to embrace what arises.

Don’t become a bystander, waiting for circumstances to change or improve. Enter the arena as a gladiator and assuage your fears while silencing your doubts.

Don’t become a bystander, waiting for circumstances to change or improve. Enter the arena as a…
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To the victor goes the spoils.

Spectators are self-imposed critics who sit on the side-lines, while others take massive action to create extraordinary circumstances.

Life is too precious to be an onlooker.

Author Jeff Goins reminds us again that the luck is something we create, “What makes a person successful, then, is not the luck, but what he or she does with it. Opportunities come. The question is what will you do when they arrive? Successful people are just as “lucky” as the unsuccessful. The difference is they do something remarkable with their lucky moment while the rest of the world sits around, waiting for the next lucky streak to come.”

To live a remarkable life entails immense personal growth and self-improvement. The person you are now, is not the person you will become.

For success is a by-product of inspired action.

So, cast away the bowline and set your sail to navigate towards a prosperous future.

You never know where it will take you and that’s the greatest adventure we can embark on – trusting in ourselves and living to serve our needs.

The post How To Gain The Confidence To Live A Remarkable Life appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

The Most Significant Ways To Reclaim Your Life

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.” — Anne Lamott

How To Make Sense Of Chaos

You may believe your life is spinning out of control.

However, it’s a misguided perception because you’re invested in your circumstances and unable to see an alternative solution.

I’m drawn to the tale by Anthony de Mello which highlights our reaction to life:

Everyone was surprised by the Master’s updated metaphor: “Life is like a motor car.”

They waited in silence, knowing that an explanation would not be long in coming.

“Oh yes,” he said at length. “A motor car can be used to travel to the heights.”

Another silence.

“But most people lie in front of it and allow it to run over them and then blame it for the accident.”

Our greatest challenge in life is overcoming our sense of helplessness. However, this too is an illusion and not what’s taking place.

Our greatest challenge in life is overcoming our sense of helplessness. However, this too is an…
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“Circumstances are powerless, too. Your perception of outside events is solely dependent on your thinking and mind-set. And since your thinking and mind-set ebb and flow, it makes little sense to take the content of your thoughts as written in stone and requiring action,” affirms author and sports psychologist Garret Kramer in The Path of No Resistance: Why Overcoming is Simpler than You Think.

When we become invested in the drama around us, we cannot make sense of it and assume chaos is detrimental.

In fact, upheaval may be what we need to advance us to the next point in our life.

The most significant act we can undertake to reclaim our life, is to surrender. I realise this goes against every principle of setting your life on track. Nevertheless, what if this simple understanding propelled you to a new way of life?

Author Mary O’Malley states in What’s in the Way Is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life, “Opening to Life brings you into full engagement with what is happening rather than keeping you caught in a conversation about Life. We could call it surrender, but this doesn’t mean being defeated. It means finally giving up your war with what Life is bringing you.”

The Process Called Life

Surrender does not mean apathy, yet something more significant. It entails yielding to the process called life, by allowing what needs to transpire, irrespective of your thoughts and preconceived ideas.

Your ideas and beliefs about the world give meaning to what is taking place around you.

To reclaim your life, requires finding your own path and following the journey wherever it leads. It’s a rewarding adventure, given the many discoveries made along the way.

Thus, it pays to be vigilant and know what’s important to you.

It’s easy to be distracted by unimportant matters. Many people succumb to this way of living because they react to what happens before them, instead of focussing on what’s essential.

“Saying yes to reality—to the things we cannot change—is like choosing to turn around and sit in the saddle in the direction the horse is going. Sitting that way is mindfulness, an honouring of the here and now without the distractions of fear or desire,” avows author David Richo in The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them.

“Courage is reclaiming your life after a devastating event robs you of your confidence and self-esteem. It is facing tomorrow with a firm resolve to reach deep within yourself to find another strength, another talent. … It is taking yourself to another level of your own existence where you are once again whole, productive, special…” — Catherine Britton

It’s In Your Response

How you respond to life, reflects whether you’re pulled by situations or people that don’t relate with your deepest values.

Life proceeds with its own agenda, directed through you. Yet, it’s derailed by trivial matters since we lose sight of what we value most.

I liken it to working on a computer and besieged with pop-up messages from a mail program.

If you’re like most people, they respond to the messages, texts or incoming calls as they arise because they’re habituated to do so, like Pavlovian Conditioning.

What if there’s a better reaction instead of plunging ourselves into unimportant issues?

The choice is not to allow external events to disrupt your inner stability.

We must be mindful of the excuses that keep us trapped in our comfort zone. This safe harbour is where we avoid confronting life’s pressing issues while delaying the inevitable.

Eventually, it overwhelms us because we’ve grown accustomed to running away from our problems instead of meeting them head-on.

“People automatically thrive when they stop making circumstantial excuses for their feelings. They find clarity, take judgment off the table, and then feel a connection with everything around them,” states Garret Kramer.

Life needn’t be a series of unfortunate events. You have the power to take affirmative action to reclaim your life. First, you must discover what’s important to you and let go of any distractions that don’t complete the picture.

I assure you, life will pull you in every direction not of your choosing. If you’re not resolute, you’ll find yourself in a place you care little for.

I assure you, life will pull you in every direction not of your choosing. If you’re not resolute,…
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This is why many people are unhappy in intimate relationships because they’re enticed by the initial spark that alights their interest. They respond like a child with new toys, believing the situation will stay the same. It seldom does and soon enough they find themselves stuck and unable to Navigate Life.

Life is not to blame for your circumstances. It results from your less than unwavering commitment to pursue what’s important.

If you’re in a position that does not benefit you, ask yourself, “What really matters?”

Continue to pose this question for thirty days until answers appear. What emerges will be insights giving you clues to what you value most.

Pursue it.

However, what arises, may go against your better judgement and force you out of your comfort zone – that’s okay, go with it.

Listen, for something to be of value, you must let go of fixed ideas not in alignment with a greater vision for your life.

Tune In To Your Inner Wisdom

There’s a place within you, a universal wisdom that knows your needs. You may not be aware of it as it’s drowned out by the incessant chatter in your mind.

This radio mind distracts you of what’s essential.

To live a spirited life, turn down the volume on your thoughts and tune in to the ever silent, infinite wisdom that lies deep within you.

I assure you it’s there.

People claim not to hear it or that it doesn’t exist because they can’t get quiet enough to perceive it.

It may take months or years to drown out the incessant chatter and allow the silent voice to direct you to the life you’re meant to live.

What’s the rush, anyway?

Your Instagram and Facebook friends will still be there, so set aside your communication devices for now.

Don’t go another minute living a complicated life, claiming it’s a series of trials and tribulations.

Be vigilant in your response to life and trust there’s a greater plan for you, beyond your understanding. You needn’t know the plan in its entirety right now.

Follow the trail, via your emotions to reclaim your life. Take one step at a time.

Everyday, life will show you what needs to be completed, who you need to meet with, what books you need to read and the resources you require.

As the opening tale proposes, step out of the way of the motor car and into the passenger seat to assume your role as creator and navigator of your life.

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Why Things Work Out In The End

Discover three key points in this video blog on why things have a way of working out in the end.

1. Things have a way of working out since our problems are temporary.

2. We must take a long-term view of life if we wish to find happiness.

3. Don’t judge life based on current circumstances.

Don’t forget to check out my latest course on http://www.curious.com titled, How to Build Powerful Relationships – A 10-part course

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6 Powerful Ways to Enhance Your Self-Esteem

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise L. Hay

Low self-esteem arises when we’re most vulnerable. Verbal cues are learned at a tender age and last well into a person’s adult life.

During these formative years, the child’s mind is impressionable. If subjected to emotional abuse, they’re likely to assume this role as their main identity.

Life is challenging and being exposed to criticism makes it unbearable, especially when one is in a state of anguish.

We’re unaware of what’s lurking beneath the surface of another person until it’s too late. We’re only exposed to their façade, so it makes sense we treat everyone with humility and respect.

According to Freud, The Iceberg Personality Principle states that 90% of a person’s constitution lies beneath the surface. Therefore, what takes place behind the scenes of others is beyond our awareness.

“Self-esteem is a concept developed by American psychologists to measure self-worthiness. Thus, we can conceive worthiness as the temperature and self-esteem as the thermometer,” states author Mario Martinez in, The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success.

The following principles should strengthen your self-esteem. We must embody them at a deeper level, past the conscious mind for it to be of any use.

As you carry them out, your wholeness will emerge beneath the rubble of a fragmented past. This is the essence of who you are and your low self-worth is merely a story you adopted against your better judgement.

You are not defined by your thoughts, your beliefs or values. These are qualities you possess and are changeable with time.

Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance means to embrace who you are, replete with your flaws and insecurities. There are two sides to your nature, so you cannot be imperfect. To draw attention to your inadequacies awards them energy and plays down other significant aspects of your character. Think of it akin to pain in the body. When you have a headache, your awareness is directed to the pain in your head. You are less aware of other body areas because of the intense pressure that commands your attention.

Similarly, to focus on your imperfections is to draw awareness to those areas while downplaying other enduring qualities. Despite low self-esteem, there’s equal balance in your ability to empathise with others. Harmony is upheld through other traits, but when we focus on the lesser ones, we weaken others.

Reinforce Your Self-Belief

Self-belief is a muscle that requires constant reinforcement. Those with an empowered self-worth attribute it to a strong self-belief. They’re aware of destructive thought patterns and on the occasion negative self-talk emerges, they avoid engaging with them.

Look for evidence in the past where you’ve excelled. Develop an inner dialogue of kindness and empathy. You’ve heard the expression, become your best friend. Treat yourself as you would a family member or a loved one. Current research in self-compassion shows we’re more likely to be happy and fulfilled if we nurture ourselves, instead of treating ourselves unkindly.

“You can learn to trust that there is a sane, wise, and nurturant resource within you. In fact, the more you know what you really want, the less desperately you need it. This happens because your self-esteem, confidence, and clarity grow,” affirms psychotherapist David Richo in, The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them.

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” — Mark Twain

Focus On The Present

Move your attention out of the past and refuse to focus on prior failures and mistakes. When you’re stuck in the past, you bring unhappy memories into the present moment. Come back to your present experience by staying engaged in your current surroundings. The past is a figment of your imagination because there’s no evidence to suggest it exists now.

If I asked you to show me your memories, you would be hard-pressed to do so. Instruct your mind to stay present when it stumbles into the past. Take regular walks in nature and observe your surroundings. Note the colour of the trees, the grass or something that grabs your attention. It might be momentary, yet it engages you in a present state of awareness.

Undertake Self-Improvement

Self-improvement helps you reframe failure by seeing it through the eyes of opportunity. You realise there are no mistakes, only ways to evolve. Together with mindfulness, self-improvement is a means for you to mature into a greater version of yourself. We’re constantly evolving, so who you were a year ago is not the same person you are today.

Your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs change, so you need to renew your commitment to self-development every day. Consider it taking care of your mind as you would your body. It requires work and discipline to become a person of character, so don’t take short-cuts or assume it’s not important. I assure you, if you don’t invest in yourself, you’ll see the consequences when life falls apart.

Develop Mindfulness

Be aware of your predominant thoughts by noting their themes and cycles. For example, are they self-sabotaging, negative or neutral? Reframe such thoughts as they arise and refuse to accept them as real. Thoughts are meaningless conversations that take place in the mind. You needn’t pay attention to the incessant chatter because the cycle of thoughts come and go.

To identify with thought forms is futile because your mind is an ever-changing oasis. Focus on the silent gaps in between your thoughts through meditation. As you become acquainted with this practice, you synchronise your thoughts with your breathing. This allows the mind and body to harmonise with one another, creating a peaceful physical state.

Create Empowering Beliefs

Examine any outdated beliefs and be willing to write a new script to enhance your self-esteem. Beliefs are formed long ago and may no longer be relevant, so revise them often.

Empowered individuals constantly review their beliefs and challenge their thoughts. They refuse to be drawn in to the inner dialogue taking place in their mind since they recognise it’s a battle they seldom win.

The process of enhancing self-esteem can be a slow, yet fulfilling journey. It may take years to become a person of strong character, so don’t be dissuaded by that. An aeroplane can go no faster to arrive at its destination. Wishing for more self-esteem without doing the work, will not draw you closer to the person you wish to become.

Be kind and gentle with yourself as you increase your self-esteem. Observe and make incremental changes when things don’t go as planned. This is a learning and discovery process as it is about self-development.

Author Guy Winch states in Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries, “Failure has an even greater impact on our self-esteem. Many of us respond to failures by drawing damaging conclusions about our character and abilities that seem incredibly compelling to us at the time even when they have no merit whatsoever.”

Instead of judging yourself, pay attention to what is taking place in your life. Avoid labelling thoughts since this has a negative effect on self-esteem.

View yourself through the eyes of equanimity and self-compassion, instead of criticism and guilt.

Afterall, you’re learning to develop a new inner dialogue that may have taken years to build, so be gentle with the process. The changes are subtle at first, but more concrete over time.

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4 Ways To Simplify Your Life Right Now

“Truth is ever to be found in the simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.” — Isaac Newton

In a period of information overload, there’s never been a better time to simplify life.

The raging struggle of modern existence can lead to inner turmoil if we’re unaware.

The key to living an inspired life is to simplify it. To gain clarity on what’s important, let go of unnecessary conditions and tune into what you value most. Most people chase material possessions believing they’ll be happy, only to realise it makes matters worse.

The more clutter in your life, the less capable you are of knowing what’s important to you since you are distracted by insignificant issues that vie for your attention. Naturally, you react to what is taking place before you instead of what’s essential.

Health, relationships, family and living my purpose are central aspects to my life nowadays. It’s taken an entire lifetime to reach this point, yet it’s well worth it. That which brings you joy and happiness require the least effort.

That which brings you joy and happiness require the least effort.
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I’m drawn to the quote by Henry David Thoreau who said, “As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”

The Law of Least Effort functions according to the principle of simplicity. Given that we evolve from nature, it makes sense to adopt this way of being in our life.

The following are four valuable points to implement right now. Apply them gradually and don’t be discouraged if you don’t see results at first. It requires patience and persistence for something of value to yield results. Akin to a plant, the initial stages begin with the seed sprouting beneath the soil, invisible to the naked eye. Yet, with nurturing and time, it grows into a healthy plant and so too with your habits.

Surround Yourself With Remarkable People

These include: friends, family, romantic partners, co-workers and those who offer you support and encouragement. Significant people are those who encourage your personal growth. They are your humble ambassadors in times of need and don’t desert you through crisis. The company of such people leads to simplified living because your needs are met through close connections.

Great people inspire and strengthen you, not drain your energy. Energy vampires rob you of your vital force, so be aware them. They want to gain something and are unwilling to offer anything in return. Steer away from them, they will deprive you of your long term happiness.

Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You

I’ve written about this in earlier articles. Letting go of what no longer serves you is essential to simplifying life because we free ourselves from what consumes our energy. This includes: people, things, places, relationships, travel, behaviours or habits. If it doesn’t bring you joy, remove it from your life or distance yourself from it. However, don’t fill the void with something else, simply allow it time to recede, so you have less to focus on. In doing so, you free up mental and emotional resources for more important matters. Create a space for something wonderful to appear and trust it will take its place, since Nature abhors a vacuum.

Focus On Experiences, Not Things

The lie that happiness comes from material possessions is one many fall victim to. Sure, it might offer happiness for a short while, although once it wears off you yearn for something more.

Newspapers are filled with stories of people who inherit millions of dollars, only to find themselves more miserable than before. This is not due to money per se, rather the stress associated with managing large sums of money. Accumulating material objects amplifies insecurities already present in a person.

Focus on experiences and surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones. Travel more, perform random acts of kindness, do charity work if that appeals to you. The key is to find fulfilling experiences that embody who you are. For example, I enjoy creative hobbies and feel lively when engaged in these endeavours. Find time for these activities and you’ll be happy and content.

“Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves.” — Edwin Way Teale

Be In Tune With Your Nature

When you’re in tune with your nature, you connect to your source. I’m not talking about religion or spirituality, yet something greater. You are the expression of Mother Nature in all her glory. Everything from your thoughts to your body reflects the infinite powers of universal intelligence. Stay connected to your source and you’ll feel the aliveness of the universe permeate through you.

How do you stay in tune with your nature? Here are steps to consider:

Be kind and compassionate to yourself and others
Think empowering thoughts
Live a healthy life
Eat whole food close to its original state
Balance your giving and receiving
Create fulfilling relationships
Be of value in your local community
Respect Mother Nature
Be of service to others
Be at peace with yourself
Think globally, act locally

We’re on the verge of a new way of life, uniting spirit and matter to become conscious creators of our destiny. The old paradigm is gradually falling away to make way for the new. This isn’t about a new world order, for it’s much simpler than that. It’s an expanding of consciousness and fading of primitive thinking, once dictated by our primal urges.

The changes herald a new way of perceiving the world via our sixth sense. People are harnessing their intuition to make sense of the world around them. Be willing to upgrade your model of reality to coincide with the change. Remove preconceived ideas about how life should play out since these concepts keep you trapped in the past.

Remove preconceived ideas about how life should play out since these concepts keep you trapped in…
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Simplifying life brings immense joy because we need little to make us happy. Economic studies in Australia suggest households on a combined income of $40k per annum are no happier at this threshold. In the US, the figure is $75k, which confirms we needn’t accumulate vast amounts of wealth to be happy.

Mother Nature is more intelligent than we give her credit for. She provides us with the inner wisdom to make sense of our lives, yet we’re controlled by our impulses instead of focusing on what’s meaningful. Don’t succumb to the out-there model that suggests your inner needs originate from outside circumstances.

Make a vow to simplify life and reduce your impact on the environment. Reduce your waste and non-renewable resources.

Strive to live a clean and uncluttered existence.

The reward is a conscious life imbued with simplicity, instead of what you believe will make you happy.

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How To Overcome Feeling Stuck In Life

“When we feel stuck, going nowhere—even starting to slip backward—we may actually be backing up to get a running start.” — Dan Millman

It’s All Perception

You’ve tried everything to improve your life, but nothing changes. Frustration develops and you’re disappointed because you’re unable to resolve the situation.

Allow me to put your mind at ease over the coming paragraphs.

Here’s the good news. Remaining stuck is only a perception and does not represent your actual reality.

Now the not-so-good news. Feeling stuck is a sign something needs to change in your life. You might have an intuitive impulse to make those changes, but resist doing so for fear of change.

The key to overcoming being stuck is to distance ourselves from the drama to gain a wider perspective. That’s why taking a break is useful because we perceive our problem with a new mindset.

Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.” He was referring to developing a higher perspective to solve a problem formed by outdated thinking.

We need a new paradigm to conquer being stuck, otherwise we approach our difficulties with obsolete thinking.

We need a new paradigm to conquer being stuck, otherwise we approach our difficulties with obsolete…
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The harder we try the less we see results, due to a change in conditions that have now progressed.

“Stuck on a problem? Step outside your head for a minute. How might your best friend approach the same problem? A scientist? A poet? A six-year-old? Your dog? A fresh solution — even a hilariously wrong one — might lead to a right one,” states author Victor J. Strecher in Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything.

Distance And Time Are The Antidote

Distance and time are two ingredients to transition from this state, since we gain clarity without being too invested in the outcome.

Journaling and talking to an unbiased person is beneficial to help you form a different opinion. What we consider stuck, is really a holding place to gather new information before embarking on a new adventure. Alternatively, it may be the seed of an opportunity fertilising itself for something better to transpire.

I enjoy the title quote by author Dan Millman who wrote, Way Of The Peaceful Warrior. He states that being stuck is an opportunity to gain a running start. What may have worked in the past is no longer useful to get us to the next point in our life.

“Remember, we get stuck because we’ve lost touch with a bigger sense of things. We forget that our stuck place is not an obstacle but rather our exact path to freedom. Yet this is only true if we’re willing to bring awareness to it,” affirms author Ezra Bayda in The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom for Living Free from Complacency and Fear.

Often, being stuck is life shepherding us to the next stage of our life.

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” — Henry Ford

As an example, consider a failed relationship where one partner cheats on the other. If the relationship dissolves, the person who instigated the cheating might be remorseful for their actions and reflect on what caused them to behave this way.

If they don’t learn the lesson, they are stuck in the same destructive cycle. Think of a mouse running on a mouse wheel not going anywhere.

However, if the person is sorry, they will use this time to contemplate their actions and make amends to heal their negative actions. With any luck, they will have gained the awareness to transform their behaviour in the next relationship.

I appreciate the advice from author Dennis Merritt Jones who states in Your Redefining Moments: Becoming Who You Were Born to Be, “When the next disappointment pops up on your pathway to the life of your dreams — and it will at some point — slow down and, rather than getting stuck, allow yourself time to dig deep and connect with that creative, tireless genius within who knows how to get past the brick wall.”

When we’re stuck, our judgement can be clouded by frustration. We try desperately to overcome our negative feelings, instead of gaining valuable insights minus the undesirable emotional states.

Excuses Keep You Stuck Further

To move forward, be honest with yourself and avoid hiding behind excuses. This creates a victim mindset and keeps you stuck further.

Based on my experience coaching individuals over the years, this is the hardest phase. To assume ownership of our choices means we’re held accountable for our actions.

This is empowering because accepting responsibility means we co-create our life’s story and change the cycle of destructive habits.

Embracing your circumstances is the first step to move beyond your current state. It doesn’t mean you like what’s happening, instead you’re accepting that it’s taking place through you.

“Despite how stuck you may feel, you are here to dissolve the veil of denial with the power of your own loving support,” avows author Matt Kahn in Whatever Arises, Love That.

Distance yourself from the chaos to impartially assess what your situation is. What could being stuck teach you? Be honest and avoid sugar-coating the answer to appease yourself.

I assure you, getting past the sense of being stuck pales into insignificance to feeling good about yourself. One is short lived while the other is a permanent resolution to your troubles. Power is attained when we rise above our challenges.

Power is attained when we rise above our challenges.
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Second, welcome your circumstances instead of expecting it to resolve itself. It seldom does, until you examine your actions and find a solution. A poor solution is better than running away from pain because at the very least, it’s a starting point towards self-empowerment.

Sometimes life forces our hand to help us gain a new level of understanding for our personal development.

Consider your current experience as an opportunity to a better way of life.

As the saying goes, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Ultimately, the answer to rising above your situation lies in your response.

Will you stay stuck or step into a rewarding life?

Only you and the passage of time will tell.

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18 Life Principles For Greater Living

“It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.” – Alfred Adler

We all have a set of principles we abide by. Ask any person about their values and beliefs and they’ll respond according to what’s important to them.

I’ve noticed a central theme in my advice since first writing about: personal development, motivation and success. For the uninitiated, it can be summarised in the following eighteen points.

They are in no particular order and I urge you to identify with those you resonate with and incorporate them into your life.

Love More: Not just people or things, but yourself. Many of life’s problems result from a lack of self-love. To love more means to connect with the deeper intelligence that guides your being. You are the embodiment of love, irrespective of whether you’re hurt or betrayed. Set aside those feelings and know that you are the ocean swimming in a sea of love. Drown yourself in it.


Be Vigilant With Your Thoughts: Be mindful of your thoughts and don’t let them consume you. Do you think uplifting thoughts or are they filled with self-doubt and pessimism? Do you look for the silver lining in situations or do you consider what could go wrong? Do you have a fixed or growth-mindset? Despite people’s beliefs, our thoughts are not fixed. They’re shaped by being aware of them and not believing everything you think.


Practise Mindfulness: Bring your thoughts to the forefront of your mind and resist being a victim to unconscious behaviours. Mindfulness invites you to bring your attention to what’s taking place in your life instead of reliving past events. It means connecting with the present moment instead of being a victim to the past.


Regular Personal Development: Immerse yourself in inspiring material that encourages you to become someone of character. If we don’t shower, brush our teeth or exercise, we fall victim to destructive habits and pay the price as illness. People claim since they can’t see the benefits of personal development, everything is fine. I enjoy the quote from the late motivational speaker Zig Ziglar who said, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
Attitude Is Everything: Your attitude is more important than your outlook because it influences how you show up in life. How is a positive attitude developed? By overcoming life’s obstacles rather than retreating from them. As you approach life with courage, you overcome your fears that once crippled you.


Be Of Service To Others: We all have a purpose, some discover it early in life while sadly, others die with a song in their heart. You can be of service to others in the smallest way through your thoughts, words and actions. You needn’t lend your time to charities to be of service although it’s helpful. Give of your time and resources by enriching other people’s lives. Even sending peaceful thoughts to another person is a step in the right direction.


Character Is More Important Than Reputation: Your reputation can be destroyed in moments, while character takes a lifetime to build. Consider celebrities involved in scandals, who squander their character and reputation. Be mindful of who you’re becoming. Don’t forsake this for a reputation that lasts a fraction of the time to build good character.


Let Go Of Worry, Fear And Anxiety: Have you noticed what you worry about rarely happens? We’re notorious for fabricating stories to protect us in case such events transpire. Yet, if we continue down this path, we will attract these circumstances because of the energy devoted to it. Replace negativity with enriching thoughts that bring you closer to the life you wish to live.

“You can’t cross a sea by merely staring into the water.” — Rabindranath Tagore

Make Peace With The Past: I devoted an entire book to this titled, Reconstructing The Past To Create A Remarkable Future. To create this future we need to heal the past, to avoid excess baggage. You’ve heard it said, the past is a figment of your imagination and no longer exists. Reliving the past derails a bright future because your mind is stuck dwelling on something no longer relevant.


Happiness Comes From Within: The biggest fraud sold to mankind is that happiness is attained via: success, fame, wealth or a suitable partner. Yet, one need only look to people who have these things and are still unfulfilled, sometimes depressed. If you’re unhappy and gain wealth, you’ll continue to be unhappy because having more of these things amplifies what is lacking.


Surround Yourself With Great People: Especially those who bring out the best in you. If we lack self-esteem, we attract like-minded people. They are likely to notice the disowned parts within us we disapprove of. The other person will then reflect this through their interaction with us and we retaliate to prove them wrong. Surround yourself with people who see your greater qualities and don’t take you for granted.


Be Here And Now: Stop worrying about the future until it arrives. We worry about circumstances and miss out on the aliveness of the present moment. The future never arrives as we expect, so it’s pointless to worry about something that exists as thoughts. It’s wise to have: goals, dreams and ambitions. Yet, if we’re not aligned with the motivation to accomplish these things, when they arrive it will not be as we expect. This is how a midlife crisis ensues because our vision of the future does not match reality.


Practice Gratitude: Gratitude means to appreciate what you have in your life instead of what is lacking. We can focus on the negative or positive and either way we’re right. One brings unfavourable circumstances while the other carries positive aspects. Be grateful for the smallest things because somewhere, someone is longing for what you take for granted.


Forgive Yourself And Others: Forgiveness is a doorway to heal the past. Many people forgive others yet they’re unable to forgive themselves. I invite you to start with yourself first. Forgive yourself completely and open the window for love to heal. Remember, forgiveness does not mean to forget, it means to see the past in a new light.


Practice Acceptance And Detachment: Acceptance means not resisting what’s taking place in your life. Irrespective whether it’s an unfortunate situation, it can pave the way for something wonderful to transpire. Detachment means to distance ourselves from a desired outcome and allow circumstances to play out until the complete picture has emerged. Only then do we realise everything that takes place unfolds as it should, for our greater purpose.


Honour Your Feelings: Medical doctors now realise the harmful effects of toxic emotions which can lead to illness. Perhaps you were told not to express your emotions, apparent in cultures where it’s viewed as a sign of weakness. To connect with your emotions invites you to honour your feelings and express them in a healthy way. This doesn’t mean acting on your feelings of anger. Rather, investigate what the anger is seeking to represent.


Discover And Live Your Purpose: People who live their purpose lead healthier and robust lives. They’re happy pursuing that which makes their spirit come alive. There’s a purpose within you waiting to reveal itself. Dependent on your age, you may have realised it or are still discovering it. The key is to experiment until you find a purpose that resonates with you. Your purpose will bring joy to your life and those you serve.


Be Kind To Everyone You Meet: We’re often unaware how tough some people are doing it, until we get an insight in to their story. Don’t judge people like an oil painting because there’s greater depth to a person than you realise. We don’t get an impression of them until we really know them or walk in their shoes. Assume the best in everyone until they prove otherwise. Be kind and withhold judgement since that only defines you as a critic.

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