Tony Fahkry's Blog, page 37

This Is How To Get Unstuck And Make Necessary Changes To Empower Your Life

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“Twenty years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain

The Smallest Step Forward

The reason people tend to stay stuck in their circumstances, is because they expect change to come from outside of them, rather than from within.

It is as though they are waiting for permission to move forward when they must first take action themselves.

As the saying goes: Nothing changes, if nothing changes.

While some people have good intentions, their actions don’t line up to support them. Granted, they may have goals they’re pursuing, yet years later those goals remain in the distance because they didn’t act on them.

“Doing nothing while the world around us changes makes us an inevitable victim to outside forces,” writes author Scott Sonenshein in Stretch: Unlock the Power of Less -and Achieve More Than You Ever Imagined.

I understand sometimes it’s easy to settle for the status quo by way of:

Living pay cheque to pay cheque, instead of taking real action towards your goals.
Being in a toxic relationship because you don’t want to be alone or hurt your partner.
Working a job you loathe because looking for another one requires effort and change.
The pain associated with negativity is comforting because it validates the misery.

Most people are committed to change, but can’t get past the hurdles that inhibit their progress. They may begin with great momentum, though a month later they are back to a familiar routine.

Change must come from within; even the smallest step forward is enough to propel you in the right direction.

Change must come from within; even the smallest step forward is enough to propel you in the right…
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This step can create the greatest change in your life, but must be accompanied by well-intentioned objectives.

“When you change your language from balancing to prioritizing, you see your choices more clearly and open the door to changing your destiny,” state authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in their book The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results.

Change Your Thinking

Change requires EFFORT. Stepping out of your comfort zone, digging deep, stirring up passion, and going for it with all you have.

Have you considered why some people are successful and others are not? Successful people work towards their goals and understand that hard work (and wisdom) pays off.

Staying in your comfort zone is not conducive to your long term success. You must venture into uncharted territory if you wish to experience something new.

Inspired action is the result of empowering thoughts. So, to change your circumstances you must change your thinking.

At this point, change is often permanent once the individual has transformed their sabotaging thoughts. This is foreshadowed by a deeper realisation which gives way to real progress.

I am drawn to the passage by author Robert Maurer in his book One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way: “Radical change is like charging up a steep hill — you may run out of wind before you reach the crest, or the thought of all the work ahead makes you give up no sooner than you’ve begun.”

Change requires courage and faith, yet has a ripple effect in our lives.

It can include a change in living conditions without having to move places. Sometimes, something as simple as rearranging your living conditions leads to a change in thought patterns due to the metaphysical relationship.

Similarly, a change in direction can trigger a shift in your career and is likely to reap benefits down the line.

Create Clear Goals

The change cycle reveals the six stages of change. Beginning with Loss, which is characterised by feelings of fear and being paralysed. It concludes with Integration, highlighting the satisfaction one experiences when settled into a new environment.

A new life is possible when you take consistent action, in spite of your fears and doubts. In this way, you make incremental changes without speeding up towards your future in haste.

Authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan remind us once more that “Getting extraordinary results is all about creating a domino effect in your life.”

“If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’re getting. You want change, make some. ”— Courtney C. Stevens

It is important to embrace transformation because the knowledge gained is vital to your new way of life.

Without stating the obvious, life isn’t about ‘success’ alone. However, most people want to be successful without devoting themselves to the hard work to get there. If we’re not experiencing success (or accomplishing our goals and desires), something has to change.

Without stating the obvious, life isn’t about ‘success’ alone. However, most people want to be…
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Working with a leadership coach will help you get past the hurdles to create clear goals. An action plan to achieve them, and accountability are the keys to making progress.

Accountability is a motivating factor for those who seek change but don’t know how to go about it. You are inspired to work towards definable goals since you have someone to guide and motivate you.

“If you ever feel yourself dreading the activity or making excuses for not performing it, it’s time to cut back on the size of the step,” affirms author Robert Maurer.

What about you? Where do you stand in relation to your goals for the year?

Are you on target to reach them?

Are you moving forward towards them consistently?

Are you happy with your progress?

What would you like to be different?

What does your optimal life look like?

So many questions to consider. Yet, if you don’t examine them, you are likely to be drawn off-course by distractions and find yourself in a place not of your choosing, doing meaningless tasks.

I wish to leave you with a delightful passage from motivational author Brendon Burchard in his book The Motivation Manifesto: “We have forgotten that courage is a choice, and that permission to move forward with boldness is never given by the fearful masses. Most have forgotten that seeking change always requires a touch of insanity. If taking action before the perfect conditions arise, or before we receive permission, is unreasonable or reckless, then we must be unreasonable and reckless.”

It is the sense of reckless adventure we must embark upon to bring fulfillment, passion and joy to our lives. Regret and resentment cannot dwell in the heart and mind of a person committed to their work.

Abandon your pain and disillusionment and reach beyond the comforts of your armchair to seek a life of wonder where dreams come true.

Dare to be exceptional. Dare to be bold. Awaken your inner spirit and alight the radiance of your highest self that summons you to create a life of passion.

The post This Is How To Get Unstuck And Make Necessary Changes To Empower Your Life appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

How To Step Up And Stand Out To Create A Life Full Of Meaning

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“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Take Action NOW

A life of meaning becomes apparent by stepping up to play a greater version of your life.

Commitment and passion are essential to living a complete life. One calls you to honour your path and the other to embrace the challenges that lie ahead.

To play big in the game of life, one must take bold risks without retreating into the comforts of the known.

Many people prefer the path less trodden. They work in jobs they dislike to pay the bills and do what’s required of them while living ordinary lives. However, this way of life suffocates your magnificence by conforming to societal norms.

You are meant to achieve more.

Your limiting beliefs hold you back from claiming your greatness and purpose because you question your unworthiness.

“We experience the greatest richness in our lives when we invest in some task or value and it returns to us by way of satisfaction or meaning,” writes James Hollis in What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life.

I invite you to go all out and not hold back. A life of regret is not a life of meaning but one of guilt and misery.

I invite you to go all out and not hold back. A life of regret is not a life of meaning but one of…
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There is no joy in lamenting the past, for the best time to take action is NOW.

Meaning is found when you venture into the unknown. There, your greatest accomplishments arise when you draw on your inner resources.

It is not enough to survive, you must thrive in all areas of life to realise your full potential.

To stand out means to live boldly, to impact your life and the lives of others.

It’s no coincidence that you are endowed with precious gifts and talents. Perhaps you are still discovering them, yet the common thread is not withholding them due to fear.

Fear keeps you trapped in a self-imposed prison and stifles your genius if you buy into its narrative.

“As soon as you believe that a label you’ve put on yourself is true, you’ve limited something that is literally limitless, you’ve limited who you are into nothing more than a thought,” affirms the spiritual leader Adyashanti in Falling into Grace.

A Journey of Inner Discovery

Life is replete in meaning when you step up. In those moments your true calling is known, for you have dared to venture into the depths of your greater self.

You cannot go back to your former life once you’ve awakened your talents and genius, for you evolve to a higher state of consciousness.

There is nothing satisfying in pursuing the ideals society lays out for you. These are the norms rather than the rules. You must become the exception – the trailblazer destined to embark on a heartfelt journey of inner discovery.

“Let success mean only that you’re committed, and failure only that you’ve made insufficient progress,” writes Alex Lickerman in The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self.

You may have an inner calling, yet contemplate whether to turn this into a viable career.

Here’s my one minute wisdom: I don’t know the answer and neither do you.

The only way to find out is to try. Lay it on the line and take a risk, however small or big. You won’t know until you keep trying. Yes, you will fail. You will also fall and not want to get up.

However, your efforts may pay off and you will be rewarded. On the other hand, it may not work out initially.

Nevertheless, follow your impulses and try again.

It is a deeper sense of meaning that summons you to give it all you’ve got until you succeed.

Author Victor J. Strecher writes in his book Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything: “So let your purpose be big, lofty, even outrageous! I want to wake up in the morning with my purpose foremost in mind and go to bed at night knowing that I worked toward it.”

Life will kick you hard when you’re down and insist you to stay there. But when you play big, falling down is your lesson and getting back up becomes your journey of self-discovery.

“Like shining stars, every one of us has the potential to light up the darkness with our own particular brilliance.” — Unknown

As often stated, it is not how many times you fall, but how often you rise. In those moments, your inner resolve, passion, and commitment to stepping up counts.

My fascination with authenticity has grown in recent times to such a degree that I devoted an entire book to it titled, Awaken Your Authentic Self.

Authenticity means aligning with the essence of your greater self. It is the higher mind, not the scared and anxious small self which convinces you of your unworthiness.

Authenticity means aligning with the essence of your greater self. It is the higher mind, not the…
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As you merge with your authentic self, you awaken your inner powers and step into the life destined for you.

It’s not enough to read inspirational posts on Instagram or Facebook, hoping to feed your soul and go back to living a conventional life. You must take bold action, even in the face of fear and doubt.

“It’s never too late to start. It’s always too late to wait,” states author Jeff Olson in The Slight Edge.

The magic comes at a price and is the tantalising fruit dangling at the end of a branch. For you must climb out of your comfort zone to seize it, and only then will the spoils be awarded to you.

What do you have to lose?

Your pride? Your sense of security?

Consider what you will gain when you step into a life of greatness. To focus on your shortfalls means missing out on the rewards.

Step out on a limb if you wish to realise your hopes and dreams. No one will do it for you. No one will care if you don’t take risks, but many will if you succeed.

“The three killers of dreams are detail-itis, excuse-itis, and the hesitation virus. And they all stem from doubt,” says author Larry Weidel in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success.

A Life of Greatness

It does not serve you to blend in with the masses, to be popular one day and discarded the next. The unpopular and nonconformists are those who make a dent in the world.

If you want to create an impression in your life and the lives of others, dare to be different. Dare to expose your uniqueness. Dare to be someone you’ve never been before.

Take risks, small ones – big ones. Who cares, just take them for goodness’ sake. Stop hiding behind your pride or wallowing in your sense of entitlement. You are not entitled to anything other than hard work, perseverance and grit.

So, fail often. Fail fast. Embrace your failures and stop hiding behind your doubts because they’re killing you, one breath at a time.

Learn quickly and embrace the opportunities that come your way. Expect nothing other than gratitude to play your hand as you see fit.

Some cards will fall your way, other won’t. That’s life. Try again.

When you’re consumed by tiredness, go deeper into yourself. That’s the 1% where the magic happens.

Author Larry Weidel says: “Winners know that if you don’t figure out what you want, you’ll get whatever life hands you.”

Don’t settle for second best. Second best is life of mediocrity. A life of mental and emotional torment. A life of doubt and resentment. Don’t be that person. The fire in your belly is there for a reason, don’t extinguish it before it burns brightly.

Laugh at your mistakes and cry at your setbacks. Be as human as you openly can be and enjoy your frailties and shortcomings.

Embrace the person you are today because like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, you will be a different person tomorrow when you step up and stand out.

I wish to leave you with a passage from author Vishen Lakhiani’s book The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On Your Own Terms: “What if life was not meant to be safe? Instead, what if it was meant to be a beautiful joyride, with ups and downs as we take off the training wheels of the culturescape and try out things outside what is practical or realistic?”

So, strap yourself in for a wondrous exploration to the core of your being; the centre of your universe.

When you arrive, you will unite with the essence of your greater self, the timeless being who has survived many setbacks.

The person to scale the greatest summit in their quest to create a life of meaning, not regret.

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How to Embrace Vulnerability as Your Greatest Strength

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“Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.” — Brené Brown

Born Vulnerable

What do you associate with vulnerability?

Perhaps it’s weakness, fear, hurt or betrayal.

These are the deep-seated emotions people experience when they reveal aspects of themselves.

Let’s be clear. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness and can be your greatest strength.

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage,” affirms research professor and author Brené Brown in Rising Strong.

Vulnerability is a double-edged sword. Those who protect themselves to avoid getting hurt, fail to appreciate intimacy and close relationships.

Everyone is vulnerable, no matter how much they try to avoid it. We are born vulnerable and stay that way for our entire childhood. Our relationship with vulnerability is something we are acquainted with, yet abandon as we merge into adulthood.

Your association with vulnerability requires a shift in awareness in order to strengthen your emotional well-being.

It is no use erecting barricades around you while hoping at the same time others will see the blossoming flower within.

It is no use erecting barricades around you while hoping at the same time others will see the…
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The wall you construct prevents your true nature from being known to others.

It was Rumi who said: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

You must accept your vulnerability if you wish to live a wholesome life. Even the smallest act of letting down your guard is a commitment to your personal growth.

“When we experience a great loss or hurt that feels like ‘broken heartedness’, we now realize that our heart is not broken. It’s actually the heart’s protective shell of defences breaking open to allow us to feel all emotions fully,” writes author Loch Kelly in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness.

Your Fractured Parts

Vulnerability is an act of courage because you merge with your authentic self, instead of hiding behind a facade to appease others.

It is within the unknown where your greatest potential lies. Human nature is imperfect, yet the paradox is that we are whole within that sphere of imperfection.

To embrace vulnerability as your greatest strength, you’ll need to become aware of your pain points. Retaliation leads to suffering, since you are likely to defend your pain like a wounded animal.

Neuropsychologist Mario Martinez writes in his book: The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success, “The wound you choose in order to interpret your pain becomes a shield of protection against forgiving, because releasing your grudge means being vulnerable again.”

Vulnerability involves healing your fractured parts by merging with the wholeness of your being.

“What happens when people open their hearts? They get better.” — Haruki Murakami

Consider it akin to a jigsaw puzzle strewn across the floor. Some might say the puzzle is incomplete given the pieces are lying on the floor. However, by gathering them together you create the entire picture once more.

That is the heart of your life story. You have disowned your fractured parts, instead of trying to piece them together.

You are a masterpiece; a Rembrandt replete with perfection. Yet, you focus on your brokenness in the same way as a cracked oil painting when exposed to the elements.

The painting is no less beautiful because of its flaws. It is upon examining it up close you recognise the defects, while ignoring the complete picture.

“Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging,” affirms Brené Brown.

Heal the Pain

To heal your pain requires undertaking a process of self-examination. You must become curious as to why you react when your pain buttons are triggered.

Every person has pain thresholds. If left unchecked, they become inflamed and dominate your emotional landscape, not to mention your physical health.

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The moment you heal the pain, you reintegrate it into the wholeness of your being.

“Make your heart as vast as space, so big that nothing can harm it. When our hearts are that wide, it is as if the judgments are ripples on water, flowing away and leaving no trace. This is what vulnerability makes possible. It allows the natural strength of the heart to emerge,” writes author Mark Coleman in Make Peace with Your Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You from Your Inner Critic.

Suffering ensues when you focus on your sorrow, instead of appreciating the beauty and richness of your complete self.

It is as though you are looking through a magnifying glass on your shattered parts. You give them more attention than they deserve, so others are made aware of your weaknesses too.

Your shadows are one aspect of your character. When healed, you come to realise the completeness of your being.

Therefore, become a student of vulnerability by taking small risks. This act of self-renewal shines a light on your fractured parts, and is brought to your awareness and seen for what they are; a smokescreen.

“This feeling of rawness is key to working with vulnerability. They often feel like one and the same thing. The challenge is to find a way to be comfortable feeling the innate vulnerability of being human. If we can hold our vulnerability with a loving attention, the painful feelings can unfold and slowly move through us,” affirms author Mark Coleman once more.

Similarly, be wary of the ego and its aversion to being vulnerable. The ego likes to protect its image and vulnerability is a crack in its armour.

It signifies weakness and will do everything to defend itself.

Your greatest triumph will arise when you lean in to your vulnerabilities with openness and compassion.

There is nothing to defend nor protect, for the egoic voice has merely taken command and insisted on protecting you from getting hurt.

I wish to leave you with a passage from Brené Brown’s book Rising Strong in which she writes: “I was reminded that shame is a liar and a story-stealer. I have to trust myself and the people I care about more than the gremlins, even if that means risking being hurt.”

The gremlins she speaks of is the small self preventing your magnificence being known. Trust your heart’s wisdom and its real essence, not the voice in your head.

It is only then you will appreciate how vulnerability is a commanding act of strength and courage.

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Stop Struggling and Let Life Surprise You

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“Life is full of challenges and surprises.”— Jil Sander

Life Is Full Of Surprises

The struggle with life results from trying to control conditions beyond your capacity.

We feel we are in control because it gives us command over our lives. Yet, unseen forces are at work in the background which include: karma, conscious and unconscious thoughts and free will.

Struggling is pointless because it doesn’t change outside circumstances, it makes matters worse. You get caught up in negative emotions instead of cooperating with life.

“When we look deeply into our fears, we see that, at base, every fear is a fear of not having control,” writes author and psychotherapist David Richo in: The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them.

It’s no secret; life is full of surprises when you least expect it.

Some thrive in these conditions, yet others need to maintain control since they cannot cope with what life throws up.

Think back to a time when something unexpected left an indelible mark on your life.

Perhaps it was a chance meeting with someone who later became a romantic interest or landing your dream job through a series of unforeseen circumstances.

Whatever the case, as the late John Lennon sang in Beautiful Boy: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

I worked in the fashion industry over a decade ago, having graduated with a degree in fashion design. Three years prior to that, my ambitions were to work for a fashion house in my city.

I recall sending countless letters enquiring about work opportunities. I was happy to volunteer my time to be amongst the people and products the company was known for. They were the Google of the time for whom everyone wanted to work.

Regrettably, I received numerous replies stating there were no available positions, thanking me for my interest.

Years later, following my graduation, a letter from the marketing manager arrived asking if I was still interested in working there.

An assistant position had been created, and she felt I was perfect for it. I jumped at the opportunity and was offered the job at once.

This transpired following my degree, just when I was looking for employment.

I did not expect the circumstances to develop as they did and it was a wonderful surprise.

I remained at the company for six years. In that time, the marketing manager resigned following the birth of her daughter and I was offered her position since I knew the job well.

Create Space for Wonder

I enjoy this passage by authors Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom in their book: The Power of Flow: Practical Ways to Transform Your Life with Meaningful Coincidence, “Flow is effortless because when we learn to swim with it, its currents move us easily, smoothly and gently through life. Our stress, struggle, and uncertainty drop away, and our joy, peace, satisfaction, happiness, and effectiveness increase.”

Struggle ensues when you expect life to develop in a particular way.
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Life will surprise you if are open to possibilities, without knowing how things will occur.

Whilst expectations are good to have, don’t be bound by them since something better could unfold in the background.

Struggle ensues when you expect life to develop in a particular way.

Suffering results from your resistance to what “IS” happening.

“I like the serendipitous surprises of reality.”— Lawrence Wright

That doesn’t mean you are ambivalent or do not care. Rather you are less attached to outcomes, given your passive state of anticipation.

Here’s something illuminating. No one knows what they’re doing.

We’re all making it up as we go along. There’s no roadmap revealing the future. All we can do is make informed choices based on our level of awareness and hope it lays the foundations for what will unfold.

“Wanting life to be other than it is seems to be the most basic form of resistance,” states author Ezra Bayda in: The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom for Living Free from Complacency and Fear.

Many complain of being stuck in a dead-end job or an unfulfilled relationship. Yet, the moment life brings a surprise, they are unhappy because it was not what they expected.

What I’m proposing is to create space for wonder. Don’t be attached to how it will occur but consider it as a possibility.

The Obstacle is the Way

As long as you are making informed choices, you are guided by universal intelligence and your greater self.

As long as you are making informed choices, you are guided by universal intelligence and your…
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So, you needn’t run away from your life and day-to-day living. There are surprises in every moment that will transform your life if you dare to peak behind them.

“Saying yes to reality — to the things we cannot change — is like choosing to turn around and sit in the saddle in the direction the horse is going,” avows author David Richo.

It took an unfortunate illness long ago and losing my father to wake up to life’s hidden wonders. Up til then, I was holding on to unrealistic expectations of how life should be and those events proved to be shattering and life affirming.

Don’t wait until tragedy strikes before you realise there’s more to life. Many glimpse at the beautiful moments only to be overshadowed by pain and suffering. Such moments unravel from your hands because you devote your attention to what is looming next.

I’m often asked, what were my greatest lessons since those two tragedies?

My reply: I awoke from my sleep and became intimate with life as though she were a romantic partner, instead of a friend I call on every once in a while.

So stop bemoaning your present conditions. The obstacle you fear is leading you to your greatest triumph if you drop your resistance to how life should be.

“When the mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best moment of your life,” states Ezra Bayda.

Untangle yourself from expectations, since this delays what is likely to evolve. Stop judging conditions as good or bad, and simply allow the pieces of the puzzle to emerge.

Be patient above all else.

It is only then you will realise life has been supporting you, though you’ve been pushing her away like a jealous lover.

Be open to what comes your way and use it to lay the foundations for each chapter of your life.

Soon enough, you will appreciate life is one big surprise and you’ve been covering your eyes all this time, unable to appreciate what has been given to you.

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How To Embrace Frustration As The Key To Creativity

“You’re frustrated because you keep waiting for the blooming of flowers of which you have yet to sow the seeds.” — Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You

Can Frustration Inhibit Creativity?

Frustration is the foundation to creativity and the birthplace of new insights.

You may try to ignore the struggle that frustration throws up, though if embraced, the battle allows you to form a new relationship with the creative process.

Resistance stifles creativity since you become embroiled in negative emotions that inhibit genius and wisdom.

In one way, you are enslaved to the emotion, but not the intoxicating highs that go with it.

Learn to live with tension to harness inspiration, as alternative medicine advocate Deepak Chopra states: “Be comfortable with and embrace paradox, contradiction, and ambiguity. It is the womb of creativity.”

It is important to reframe your relationship with frustration if you seek to move deeper into creativity.

It is important to reframe your relationship with frustration if you seek to move deeper into…
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This doesn’t mean you should enjoy it, though acceptance goes a long way to be able to benefit from its power.

Frustration is obvious in the countless rejection letters you receive in reply to your book submission or the “D” on your mid-term paper. Whilst you despise it, you accept there is something to be gained, otherwise you wouldn’t be frustrated.

Many people have an ambivalent relationship with frustration – in fact one that inhibits creativity. They welcome the inspiration that sparks new ideas. However, they feel frustrated when it does not play out according to plan.

“If you want to be an artist of any sort, it seemed to me, then handling your frustration is a fundamental aspect of the work — perhaps the single most fundamental aspect of the work. Frustration is not an interruption of your process; frustration is the process,” affirms the acclaimed author Gilbert Elizabeth in: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear.

Some people experience flashes of creativity and inspiration one day, and resistance the next.

The key to inspiration lies somewhere in the middle, when you are open to the unknown.

In the unconscious your greatest accomplishments emerge, since you are not bound by expectations other than the flow of inspiration.

Expand Your Horizons

Working with frustration requires being acquainted with its energy. You recognise how it occupies space in your body and the tension that arises. These are the boiling points for creative success.

“People need trouble — a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don’t mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy,” states the late American writer William Faulkner.

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plough your anger and your energy into something positive.” — Lee Iacocca

Collaborating with frustration means being aware of what is being called forth. If you exploit it correctly, you will channel creativity into the tip of a ballpoint pen.

Frustration is a sign you have reached a plateau. The subconscious mind advises you to step out of the known, to give creativity a home in which to flourish.

That’s why you should welcome frustration as a source of wisdom.

It is the intuitive part of you summoning to reach deeper into the abyss of your mind and expand your horizons.

Frustration invites you to be less invested in outcomes and to channel creativity through your core.

Frustration invites you to be less invested in outcomes and to channel creativity through your core.
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Rest if you must when you reach a sticking point and engage in something non-creative, meaningless and devoid of intent. A valve releases pressure for gas to escape and so should you.

The English economist Tim Harford states in a TED Talk titled: How Frustration Can Make Us More Creative : “These distractions were actually grists to their creative mill. They were able to think outside the box because their box was full of holes.”

Awaken Your Creative Impulses

As someone who has been involved in the arts my entire life, I recognise the call of frustration and use it wisely.

I enjoy being active and engage in exercise when frustration calls. Aside from the release of endorphins, I am receptive to new sources of inspiration and no longer attached to an idea whose time has passed.

In the same way, be mindful of your sleep and avoid burning the midnight oil to get more work completed.

Nutrition and hydration are important too. I have eliminated consumption of packaged and junk foods over time which helped my mind flourish with new ideas. I nurture my body and mind with the attentiveness it deserves. I am creating a home for creativity to reside so it feels welcomed.

Remember; frustration is a sign post calling you to examine parts of the creative process that require change. Think of travelling down a freeway that will take you so far, before having to choose a new road. You are only as good as your recent creative endeavour. Awaken your creative impulses and don’t allow yourself to become stagnant.

Above all else, welcome frustration as the spark of creativity and be acquainted with its temperament.

I leave you with something the British playwright Hanif Kureishi wrote in his book The Last Word: “It’s frustration which makes creativity possible.”

Embrace it. Exploit it. Let it be your servant and when you are done, you will have transformed it into a force that otherwise will have remained dormant.

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How to Stay Positive When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan

“Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes heading in a new direction can be scary until you realize you’re headed toward a new and exciting destination.” — Susan Gale

Puppets in a Well-Orchestrated Drama

Reflect on a recent situation that did not turn out as planned. Imagine the details as best you can.

You might have expected a particular outcome or your well-laid plans did not come to pass as expected.

Though frustrating, life doesn’t always go according to plan and you can take comfort in not getting what you want at times.

Let me ask you:

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

Is it for your greatest good or merely a matter of life conspiring against you?

Your answers will indicate your perception of life and how you respond in those situations.

“Wanting life to be other than it is seems to be the most basic form of resistance,” states the American Zen teacher Ezra Bayda in: The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom for Living Free from Complacency and Fear.

All human suffering is rooted in the need for control.

In his book The Five Things We Cannot Change, author and psychotherapist David Richo affirms: “We do not let go of control; we let go of the belief we have control.”

Determinists and fatalists maintain that a greater force works in the backdrop of our lives, beyond our limited perspective. We are mere puppets in a well-orchestrated drama acting upon us. Whilst we have free will, we have little control once the die is cast.

To take another view, author Dan Millman states in his book Way of The Peaceful Warrior, “…once aim is taken, and the arrow is loosed from the bow, we can only wait in anticipation to see where it may land.”

Control vs Faith

To believe you are in control in an ever-changing universe is illogical and like chasing a stubborn cat. The harder you try, the less likely it is you’ll catch it.

To believe you are in control in an ever-changing universe is illogical and like chasing a stubborn…
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However, by yielding to external forces, you allow life to flow through you. Every experience, thought and emotion becomes an extension of universal intelligence.

Spiritual masters emphasise the difficulty faced by people connecting with their hearts. They believe we are too invested in our thoughts to identify with our core self.

You needn’t be spiritual to co-operate with universal forces, for everything in this world is spiritual. However, aligning with your heart invites you to become acquainted with the silent inner voice, instead of the egoic mind.

“Insights tend to arise as needed, and the next obvious step makes itself known. If not, we simply wait for further guidance. It is the ending of drama and the beginning of a deeper life,” affirms author John Prendergast PhD in In Touch: How to Tune in to the Inner Guidance of Your Body and Trust Yourself.

In the West, surrender is met with apathy and vulnerability. It is interpreted to mean inaction when it really means co-operation. It requires letting go how life should unfold and allowing infinite possibilities to emerge.

How could you know the limitless ways the universe can provide for your needs?

“The rain WILL stop, the night WILL end, and the hurt WILL fade. Hope is never so lost that it can’t be found.” — Mandy Hale

To co-operate with life requires faith and trust. Faith that your needs will be met. Trust that they will arrive at the right time.

Once more, how is it possible for a benevolent universe not to look after you? After all, if you’re reading this, you have made it this far given your past choices. You handled every problem, disappointment and dare I say tragedy, and will continue to do so.

Faith is akin to knowing your heart pumps oxygen-rich blood to your organs each day. You needn’t worry it will fail its job or oversupply the arteries. It delivers more blood to your working muscles when you exercise and less when you’re asleep. How does it sense the variation in activity? What is it connected to or receiving instructions from to manage these resources?

I enjoy the passage from author Robert Maurer in One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way: “When life gets scary and difficult, we tend to look for solutions in places where it is easy or at least familiar to do so, and not in the dark, uncomfortable places where real solutions might lie.”

Change and Impermanence

Life is replete with change given the law of impermanence. Nothing remains the same, even the cells in your body have a finite lifespan. With this in mind, rest assured that transformation is part of the human condition. Rather than oppose it, work with it. The more you resist what is taking place, the less control you have.

The essence of this principle is portrayed in the passage: “Life is like sand held in your hands. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers…”

Instead of holding on, yield to the forces of life. Go with the flow. This does not imply resignation nor indifference, but detachment.

Practice patience when things don’t go as planned. Do not mistake this for inactivity, but bide your time to allow the pieces of the puzzle to come together.

Practice patience when things don’t go as planned. Do not mistake this for inactivity, but bide your…
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Universal order sweeps through your life, so trust in this force. A greater plan is unfolding in the backdrop of your life which requires your trust and patience.

Contrast is apparent in all of life and is the framework of the entire universe. Focus on what is going right, however small by allowing it to be the focus of your attention until something better emerges.

I enjoy the quote by author Matt Kahn in his book Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You: “While so many people know that life has a bigger role for each of us, the only way to demonstrate, anchor, embody, and trust in life’s supreme plan is to be totally honest.”

If you are struggling with an unpleasant situation, release the need for a particular outcome. Yield to the forces of life and allow it to take you where it needs to. Create a new path. Try something new, while moving forward towards your goals and plans.

I wish to leave you with a passage from author Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear: “The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.”

Within that simple message is the realisation that your struggles, pain and disappointments are calling you to Awaken Your Authentic Self.

Sometimes, the wrong turn will bring you where you need to be, if you are willing to trust in the process of life.

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Life Is Not Happening To You, But Responding To You

“I believe that we can, in a deliberate way, articulate the kind of people we want to become. We can articulate the culture that we would want to exist in our family, and you can then, as the rest of life happens to you, you can utilize those things to help you become the kind of person you want to be.” — Clayton Christensen

Life Never Goes According to Plan.

Even though it was the Master’s Day of Silence, a traveller begged for a word of wisdom that would guide him through life’s journey.

The Master nodded affably, took a sheet of paper and wrote a single word on it: ‘Awareness’.

The visitor was perplexed. “That’s too brief. Please expand on it?”

The Master took the paper back and wrote: ‘Awareness, awareness, awareness’.

“But what do these words mean?” asked the stranger helplessly.

The Master reached out for the paper and wrote: ‘Awareness, awareness, awareness means AWARENESS’.

The delightful tale by Anthony de Mello highlights the power of awareness in your life’s journey.

Life is not separate to you, but flows through you as a guiding source.

This is meaningful since happiness is directly proportional to your level of freedom.

Your life results from your beliefs and past conditioning.

Research shows that as little as 10% of the external world influences your happiness.

“Your life is not a task or chore, but the endless discovery and expression of your true and essential nature,” states author Robbie Vorhaus in One Less. One More: Follow Your Heart. Be Happy. Change Slowly.

For example, you can endure suffering and still choose happiness. I know it may sound hard to believe, but stay with me as I make my point.

Happiness requires letting go of whatever competes for your peace of mind. It is not dependent on outside conditions matching your needs.

Happiness requires letting go of whatever competes for your peace of mind. It is not dependent on…
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Let’s be real shall we? Life never goes according to plan.

There is always something going on to disrupt your inner peace. For example, victims blame outside conditions for their discontent because they are certain life happens to them, not for them.

I’m not articulating something new, but conveying it so you can empower your life.

“We realize that our quality of life is not dependent on the experiences arising in the world or our minds, but on the level of mind they are rising to. We can feel good even when we do not feel good,” affirms author Loch Kelly in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness.

Negative Thoughts

If happiness is not dependent on external conditions, it must arise from within?

Indulge me for a moment and let’s consider this to be true.

If happiness is an inner event, you can choose it as a focal point irrespective of what is happening outside of you.

For example, your mood can suddenly change because you are accustomed to respond to an event out there.

Your feelings show the level of your thinking, in so far as they expose the truthfulness of your thoughts.

If you experience negative emotions, it’s certain they arise first from negative thoughts. So, attend to your thoughts if you wish to improve your emotional wellbeing.

I enjoy the quote by author Michael Neill in his book The Space Within: Finding Your Way Back Home, “But unrecognized thought demands our attention and fills our consciousness. And when we get caught up in thought, we lose our way.”

Conversely, you might consider yourself to be a positive person most of the time, but be dragged down by negative thoughts when something does not agree with you.

“Absolutely everything you experience in your life is a result of what you have given in your thoughts and feelings, whether you realize you have given them or not.” — Rhonda Byrne, The Power

You have the power to control your response when you refuse to allow external conditions to disrupt your emotional wellbeing.

There is power in knowing you are the master of your mind, when you can change your reaction to events outside of you.

“If I continue to give negative thoughts attention, then of course they grow in importance. If I stop giving them the time of day, then they have less room to take root and grow,” avows Mark Coleman in Make Peace with Your Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You from Your Inner Critic.

In contrast, the victim blames outside circumstances and remains stuck in this dilemma. They cannot find peace of mind because they presume they are powerless.

So, what can you do to become empowered as the creator of your life?

First, understand the essence of your true nature beyond your thoughts.

Many people identify with their thoughts to the degree of believing them to be true. Yet, those same people rarely venture into the silent expansive awareness deep within.

“Every problem we have in life is the result of losing our bearings and getting caught up in the content of our own thinking; the solution to every one of those problems is to find our way back home,” states author Michael Neill.

Oftentimes, it is easier to put up with negative thoughts than to notice your thinking. But it comes at a cost to your long-term happiness.

So what will you choose?

Gratitude as the Source of Happiness

Second, make happiness a regular feature of your life. This requires turning your attention to the prevailing goodness in your life.

Focus on gratitude, not for what it offers you but for who you become.

Life comprises dualities as the framework of the entire universe. There is night and day, hot and cold, male and female energies. Knowing this means recognising the opposing forces at play.

This is illuminating because you can choose happiness or the corresponding emotional states accompanying it.

It is said, you will see it when you believe it. The premise is to find within you what you wish to…
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“Try it. By consciously letting go of some form of daily negativity, and conversely, embracing something positive and heart-felt every day, your life will change as you become happy, move toward life mastery, and successfully fulfil your heart’s dreams, goals and desires,” affirms author Robbie Vorhaus in One Less. One More.

You might usually be happy unless something unexpected crops up, then you are pulled into a gloomy state.

Sometimes life tests you, not on whether you pass or fail, but to give you the experience of what you hold true as a belief.

So, you might be cut off in traffic when running late for work one day. Through the experience you are invited to respond in a positive or negative manner and test the power of your belief.

It is said, you will see it when you believe it. The premise is to find within you what you wish to experience and create the internal state to correspond with it.

As you project the vibration, life responds accordingly. Opportunities and situations become an extension of your predominant thoughts.

But it must happen within you before outside conditions match your expectations, acknowledged as the outside—in response.

Author Robbie Vorhaus reaffirms this point: “Listen. Your heart is calling you to an adventure, a lifelong exploration of your true self, and the revelation of your life’s purpose. If you listen, truly listen, each and every moment is calling you to follow your heart and be happy. And once you acknowledge your heart’s calling, nothing will ever be the same.”

Appreciate that you are the master of your fate and outside conditions need not dominate your inner landscape.

You are a powerful being, capable of choosing any experience you want as the expression of universal energy. I know it may not seem obvious because you are convinced the energy is foreign to you.

It is what the Master conveyed to the traveller when he asked for wisdom.

A deep appreciation for life supporting you, given the power you seek is within you all this time.

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Awaken Your Authentic Self

Awaken Your Authentic Self

Awaken Your Authentic Self is a book to reconnect you with the core of your essential self. It is a move away from whom you should be espoused by popular culture. The book invites you to reconnect with the deepest part of your being, which knows who you are and how you should live.

The book foreword is written by the internationally acclaimed spiritual author, Dennis Merritt Jones.

Download a FREE chapter of the book in the pop up window or clicking on “Join Now!”.

It is now available from:

Thought Catalog Books

iBooks

Amazon

Website

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Why You Have Everything You Need To Thrive

“And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, ‘This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!’” And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.” — Iain Thomas

Being Grateful For What Is

While I know it may not seem apparent at times, you have everything you need to thrive.

It is a mistaken belief that having more will help you advance in life when you meaninglessly want more.

People think that if they had more money, better looks, a better job or lived in a better area of town, they would be happy.

I wish to remind you that everything comes with a price and having more money means being responsible for managing large sums. If you do not have the emotional intelligence to manage money, having lots of it can pose problems.

Thriving then is a state of mind.

“You have everything you need to thrive; you just have to plan for the race of your life. Each person’s journey and process is unique,” states author Jay Samit in Disrupt Yourself.

Appreciate what is in your life right now by recognising your gifts, talents and genius. It means knowing your life is bountiful as it is.

Appreciate what is in your life right now by recognising your gifts, talents and genius. It means…
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Though you have wants and needs, do not allow them to overshadow what is present.

This is the basis of this entire piece; being grateful for your goodness instead of focusing on what is lacking.

Why Sometimes It Isn’t Enough

I realise it is easy to focus on what is missing when your basic needs are met. For example, if you have a roof over your head, clothes to wear and food on the table, your basic survival needs are catered for. However, millions of people do without these luxuries.

One of the world’s leading business thinkers, Daniel H. Pink, states in his book Drive, “I don’t think it’s a Western thing to really talk about intrinsic motivation and the drive for autonomy, mastery and purpose. You have to not be struggling for survival. For people who don’t know where their next meal is coming, notions of finding inner motivation are comical.”

Perhaps necessities are not enough because you want more: money, fame, better relationships or a successful career.

History has shown people succeeded with the bare necessities. Several prominent companies nowadays began operations in less than desirable conditions in the garage of their parents’ house.

You have all you need to thrive, but you believe it isn’t enough compared to those with plentiful.

But if you look behind the scenes of those you consider rich, you will find emptiness and a longing for something deeper than material luxuries.

Whatever is plentiful in one area, will be lacking in other areas of your life.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.” — Maya Angelou

The root cause of suffering is not appreciating what is apparent in our lives and striving to fill the void.

“Fear causes you to contract rather than open, to protect rather than connect, to resist rather than respond, to survive rather than thrive,” affirms author Mary O’Malley in What’s in the Way Is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life.

Abundance and Prosperity

Underlying this want for more is the fear that someday your needs will no longer be met. Your partner will fall out of love, you will run out of money and be homeless or forced out of your job or worse still, death.

However, this is an illusion because your thoughts are turned towards fear instead of towards abundance and prosperity.

Abundance and prosperity does not mean being filthy rich, but recognising the abundant nature of your life. Having your basic needs met is abundance. Half the world’s population are without access to these luxuries and make do with less than optimal conditions.

One need only look to the current refugee crisis and see people’s homes and basic needs taken from them.

For many refugees, not having food, water and shelter constitutes a significant change in circumstances. Yet, for someone living in the United States, this is a basic necessity often overlooked.

Author Linda Graham MFT states in her book Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being: “Survive first, thrive later: that’s the motto of the lower brain. The well-documented tendency of our lower brain to encode negative, fear-based memories more readily into our unconscious memory than positive ones is referred to as negativity bias.”

You will continue to suffer if you believe the source of your happiness is outside of you.

If you hang your hopes on someone or something to provide for your happiness, you will always long for more.

The moment you move your awareness to what is bountiful, you shift to gratitude to what is available.

The moment you move your awareness to what is bountiful, you shift to gratitude to what is available.
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This doesn’t mean you should not have better things to enjoy. However, if your attention is fixed on what is lacking, you neglect to value if the goodness in your life.

The Source of Your Joy

Happiness must not be subject to constantly having your needs met. I assure you, not everything will go to plan and occasionally you will be disappointed.

This is no less true when a partner leaves a relationship and the other person is left to contemplate why it dissolved.

However, in time, their broken heart heals and they soon find love again. This time, they recognise their partner is not the only source of their happiness, but someone who compliments them.

To appreciate what you have, focus on the source of your joy. Write down or recite what you are grateful for upon waking up or retiring to bed each night.

A warm cup of coffee, shower, bed, family and friends to share a home with, living in a safe neighbourhood, a job that pays well and an employer that appreciates you are the unlikeliest sources of happiness.

These are basic essentials, which when magnified add to your sense of appreciation. From this place of awareness you’ll create better circumstances in which to thrive.

The German born spiritual author Eckhart Tolle states: “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

Appreciation enriches your life as abundance and prosperity, as long as you recognise it is always enough.

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Awaken Your Authentic Self Book Release

Conquer Your Fears

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.…It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.…”—Marianne Williamson

Our Deepest Fear

To Awaken Your Authentic Self, you cannot be tied to your fears. An awakened mind is a mind liberated from fear. Marianne Williamson’s header quote is a significant work from the world acclaimed spiritual activist, often misattributed to Nelson Mandela’s inauguration speech. She suggests it is not our darkness which we are afraid of; rather, it is our magnificence.

We are unwilling to reveal our brilliance in the event others are made to feel inferior. This is significant given the dynamics of peer pressure and culture nowadays. We feel safe playing small and blend in with the masses since it shifts the spotlight off us. The questions and self-doubts may arise: “What if I am not good enough?” “What if I’m found out?” “There are others who are better than I am.” This is evident in popular culture which epitomizes the tall poppy syndrome. Many people fear that revealing their uniqueness may be inappropriate to their friends, family, and colleagues. Playing small serves no one, especially yourself. You are unique in many ways and your gifts and talents are a unique expression of universal energy. To deny others your gifts and talents may be likened to a tree refusing to bear fruit in season since it doubts its source of intelligence.

You are unique in many ways and your gifts and talents are a unique expression of universal energy.
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I draw your attention to the famous inventor Thomas Edison. Had he withheld his invention of the electric light bulb, we would be living in darkness these days. Another steward of notable inventions was Benjamin Franklin, who was an accomplished printer and inventor. His famous Franklin stove may well have been patented had he chosen to do so. Instead, he donated his time and money to developing the invention by giving it away, believing it would benefit many people. We doubt our magnificence since it directly coincides with self-esteem.

Self-doubt is toxic and debilitating, as it serves to convince you of your unworthiness. It is the silent voice within that we fear and judge our self-worth by. We are terrified of our personal power given the self-doubt which rears its ugly head from an early age. It is estimated that by the time you are seventeen years old you will have heard the phrase “NO, you can’t” an average of 150,000 times. In contrast, you will have heard, “Yes, you can” approximately 5,000 times. It is no wonder we have been inured with disempowering beliefs and the inability to succeed.

You are entitled to goodness, abundance, and life’s wondrous pleasures. They are there waiting for you to claim them. Instead, we internalize a script that informs us otherwise. We follow this script and doubt our true potential, our future vision and goals. Paulo Coelho reminds us about honouring our personal legend in his acclaimed novel The Alchemist. You are not depriving others of greatness by playing small. Marianne Williamson’s poem goes on to say, “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world…as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” As you claim and step into your glory, you allow others to see the possibility of attaining the same freedom. For this reason we applaud and salute the underdog. We identify with them since it is embedded into modern culture to thrive and succeed. There is an underdog within us all waiting to appear. We unconsciously hold ourselves down convinced of our unworthiness to remain in the darkness. To sit on the sidelines is safe since we cannot be judged, labeled, or criticized there. But safe never serves anyone, let alone yourself. Leadership expert and speaker Robin Sharma suggests, “If people aren’t laughing at your dreams, they’re not big enough.”

To sit on the sidelines is safe since we cannot be judged, labeled, or criticized there. But safe…
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I wish to remind you of the baby elephant principle which sums up the truth of our fears. Baby elephants in captivity are chained at the leg to a small wooden peg in the ground. As they mature to full size, they are capable of breaking free given their relative size. Yet as adults they remain tethered to the chain, conditioned to believe it has the power to hold them captive. In some ways our lives mimic the behavior of adult elephants. Many of us form limiting beliefs during childhood which keep us imprisoned as adults. To overcome your deepest fear, acknowledge your Authentic Self which is the recurring theme throughout the book. Allow it passage throughout your life. Connect with life at the soul level instead of intellectualizing it. Your soul is boundless and not defined by limitations. As you identify with your soul nature, it becomes effortless to reveal your talents and genius to the world. Fear is an illusion which deprives you of your power. It stifles your growth and convinces you of your unworthiness—it limits your potential. Your soul nature is infinite by contrast, unbound by time or space. Learn to think in terms of limitless possibilities—acknowledge your inner richness. Once you make an inner declaration toward greatness, the universe acknowledges it by bringing forth opportunities which allow your magnificence to shine. You must take the lead. You must take the first step toward claiming your own power.

If you enjoyed this extract from my latest book: Awaken Your Authentic Self, sign up for the FREE Goodreads Book Giveaway Competition which ends March 11 2017. The book foreword is written by the acclaimed spiritual author Dennis Merritt Jones and will be available via: Amazon, Thought Catalog Books and iBooks from March 8, 2017. Sign up to my newsletter on my website for the latest news and exiting offers or connect with me via Twitter: @tonyfahkry and Facebook

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