Tony Fahkry's Blog, page 31

Life is a Blank Canvas Until You Decide What You Want and Take Action

We Live in a Holographic Universe

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” — Charles R. Swindoll

Life doesn’t know what it will become until you decide and take action. It is a blank canvas that awaits you to create itself.

I know many of you find this hard to believe, but you are a powerful creator.

It may not appear that way right now because you are yet to explore your full potential. Just as a Ford Mustang comes equipped with a powerful 5.0 litre V8 engine, it’s of little use if it sits in the driveway. It should be driven at full speed to appreciate its power since that’s what it was designed for.

Power is awarded to those who develop and nurture it. We are all Alchemists, yet our tool of the trade is not metal but something more influential; our thoughts.

The late American author of The Holographic Universe, Michael Talbot believed we are living in a holographic universe or simulation, as Elon Musk believes.

In Talbot’s book, he cites the work of the late physicists David Bohm and Karl Pribram, who performed research in this area.

The important principles central to the holographic model are:

You are a powerful creator because you are connected to everything.
You are part of a single Consciousness or Universal Mind.
The Universal Mind is all knowing, all powerful, all creative and present everywhere at the same time.
The universe comprises multiverses or parallel universes.

This leads to an understanding that the universe exists on multi-dimensions, meaning reality is not as fixed as once thought. This is empowering for many reasons, least of which because it means your thoughts create your life circumstances.

If you are unaware of your unconscious beliefs and programming, you are likely to attract a future that corresponds with these thoughts.

Author Bernard Roth writes in The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life that we must find our power through action, not simply trying: “When you do, you are using power; when you try, you are using force. In life, if you want to get things done, it is much better to be powerful than to be forceful.”

Reclaim Your Power to Create New Circumstances

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius

Have you noticed how often people who experience difficulties at every turn are confused as to why these events continue to show up in their life? In some respect they are not to blame because they don’t realise they create their circumstances according to their unconscious thoughts. It is only once they reconcile them and take life into their own hands that their circumstances change.

In a recent YouTube interview, the Canadian psychology professor Dr. Jordan Peterson records an interview with the English psychiatrist, Dr. Iain McGilchrist who states that he embraces uncertainty because it contains the seed of potential for creation.

Your current life circumstances reflect who you are but not who you will become, since that is open to change based on the holographic principle. It is an evolutionary process and you mustn’t consider life is doomed if things aren’t developing as you expect. It only looks that way based on your perceptions. However, when you upgrade your thoughts, you will experience a different reality.

So, if you’re unhappy with your current conditions it’s of no use complaining. I realise it’s easy to believe something outside of you is to blame. However, this is disempowering because if you want to fix the problem, you must regain your power to create new circumstances.

For example, if you consider your parents to blame for the conditions of your life, doing so robs you of your own power to change your circumstances instead of taking ownership of it.

“In life, typically, the only one keeping a scorecard of your successes and failures is you, and there are ample opportunities to learn the lessons you need to learn, even if you didn’t get it right the first — or fifth — time,” writes Bernard Roth.

The key is to become a conscious creator while making peace with the past, to integrate it into the wholeness of your being. That means, every unpleasant event is reconciled to see the perfection of your life’s narrative. That way, you create a new story for your upcoming future.

Decide on What You Want and Why You Want It

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” — John C. Maxwell

Life is miraculous because each day you start with a blank canvas and create your future anew. Through your moment to moment experience, you create the next moment which comes together to form your future.

If you are unconscious to the creative process, you relinquish your power to the mercy of life. Evidently, what shows up may not be in accordance with what you might choose.

That’s why it’s important to get clear on what you want and take purposeful action to create those circumstances. Those amongst us considered successful have a clear vision of their life.

They are purposeful beings who create reality according to their highest values and beliefs. Their life is an expansion of what they hold in mind and nurture daily.

Bernard Roth explains: “Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? Ask yourself each of these questions repeatedly and respond with whatever comes to mind.”

You have access to this same intelligence, it’s just a matter of harnessing it long enough to create what you wish to experience. I often say: it’s an inside-out job. Meaning, you must get clear on your blueprint for life first before it can manifest as your reality.

Sure, you can work hard your entire life trying to create the circumstances that will bring you happiness and fulfilment. However, there may come a point where everything you created is no longer appealing as it once was and a midlife crisis ensues. Regrettably, you may have spent decades building this reality only to have it fall apart.

Two of the biggest decisions you can make right now is to decide on what you want and why you want it. Take an entire year to get clear if you must and journal your thoughts. I assure you, spending 12 months of your life deciding what you want pales into insignificance compared to decades of pursuing something you realised you didn’t want after all.

“Make a pact with yourself to not use reasons unless you have to. This is actually an incredibly empowering position to come from. Be confident enough in your actions not to need to explain yourself. Trust yourself and act,” affirms Bernard Roth.

Once you decide what you want, the second part is the easiest yet the most challenging: take purposeful action every day to get closer to your envisioned future. If roadblocks and setbacks appear, go back to your blueprint, which you will have spent many weeks or months working on and consult it once more.

If you veer off course from the blueprint, what actions can you take to find your way back? An architect creates a schematic plan of a house so the builders know how to bring his idea to life and you must also do the same.

When you are purposeful about your life, the right circumstances and people show up to help you bring that plan to reality. But if you are not clear on your life’s vision, anything that sparkles or glitters will distract you and send you off course.

After all, life is a blank canvas whereby you are the master designer capable of turning it into a beautiful work of art.

The post Life is a Blank Canvas Until You Decide What You Want and Take Action appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

Stop Being Content With So Little And Reach For Something Bigger Than What You Have

You’re Not Meant To Play Small

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” — Confucius

There comes a point in a person’s life when their childhood dreams evaporate into a void, overtaken by the demands of everyday life.

If this describes you, there’s a tendency to play small instead of reaching for something more.

I experienced this early in my career where my problems consumed me to the extent it became part of my identity. You feel like a boxer pushed onto the ropes and your only form of defence is to retreat until you find the motivation to recover. Many successful people have been in this situation including J. K. Rowling, so it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Performance psychologist Stan Beecham writes in Elite Minds: Creating the Competitive Advantage: “Beliefs control biology, biology controls behaviour, and behaviour determines success.”

On some level, you know you’re not meant to play small. Part of you recognises your potential, but something stops you from achieving it. People struggle for years before finally realising the pain and disappointment is not worth it, at which point they give up. However, I encourage you not to not act impulsively and consider whether giving up is your only choice. Often, there are other options that may involve pivoting in a different direction to achieve your goals.

Research experiments on animals have observed that when their food sources are restricted, they stop scouring for food and give up. Their fatalist brain believes food is in short supply and they accept this outcome. We all do this and give up when pushed to our limits. Though, we develop our greatest personal growth if we stay the distance.

“Feel your urges, and push them back at least twice before giving in,” writes Peter Hollins in The Science of Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone: How to Live Fearlessly, Seize Opportunity, and Make Each Day Memorable.

You are only as strong as the level of your personal growth. To equate this in terms of a fitness metaphor, you are only capable of lifting weights proportional to the physical training you have undergone. If you train often, chances are you are you will lift heavier owing to your conditioning and dedicated training.

Your mental and emotional resiliency functions in the same respect, in so far as life’s challenges help you to develop resiliency.

Those Who Are Resilient Stay In The Game Longer

“On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Challenges and setbacks are not meant to defeat you, but promote you. However, I realise after many years of defeats, it can crush your spirit and it is easier to give up than risk further setbacks and disappointments.

To be honest, I don’t have the answers. I can’t tell you what the right course of action is; only you will know. However, it’s important not to be discouraged by failure when pursuing a goal or a dream, since failure itself means different things to different people.

“Growth comes at the point of resistance; we learn by pushing ourselves to the outer reaches of our abilities,” explains authors Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness in Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success.

To a person with a fixed mindset failure is a blow to their self-esteem, yet to a person with a growth mindset, it’s an opportunity to improve and find new ways to overcome their obstacles. Same failure, yet different responses.

Who is right and who is wrong?

Neither.

Each person has a different mindset that decides their outcome. Those who are resilient stay in the game longer and draw on their inner means to succeed.

I’ve coached clients who gave up after many years toiling away at their respective goal or dream. It was at that point their biggest breakthrough came. Perhaps all those years of perseverance finally paid off. It was the 19th Century’s minister Henry Ward Beecher who once said: “One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.”

No one knows what the future holds, so your only guide is whether you can endure repeated defeats and disappointments and still pursue your dream.

Consider the advice from the American academic and psychologist Angela Duckworth who writes in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance: “Many of us, it seems, quit what we start far too early and far too often. Even more than the effort a gritty person puts in on a single day, what matters is that they wake up the next day, and the next, ready to get on that treadmill and keep going.”

I know one thing for certain: don’t settle for less than what you’re capable of, but strive for something bigger.

Some of you reading this might identify with this message because it resonates with you on a deeper level. For others, at the end of their tether the message might be nothing more than a trivial pep talk.

What I wish to convey irrespective of where you are in your journey is: NEVER settle for less. If you settle for less, you will receive less than you deserve and convince yourself you are justified to receive it.

Develop A Powerful Vision Of What You Want

“Your problem is to bridge the gap which exists between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach.” — Earl Nightingale

I recall a passage my father often used growing up: “Don’t tell me your problems unless you’ve spent weeks trying to solve them yourself.” That advice has echoed in my mind for decades and became my motivator. Don’t leave it to others or outside circumstances to motivate you because you will be let down every time. It must come from within you.

Gnaw away at your problems until you solve them or find a solution. Problems are not stop signs, they are advising you that more work is required to overcome them. Most times, problems help you gain a skill or develop the resources to succeed later.

“The best form of confidence is the confidence that comes from achievement,” states author Larry Weidel in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success.

So embrace your challenges and develop the grit to push past them instead of retreat in resignation.

Where are you settling in your life right now?

Could you be you playing for bigger stakes than you are?

Are you willing to play bigger even if it means repeated failures and setbacks?

You should ask yourself these questions to decide whether you’re willing to put yourself on the line or settle for less. And that’s fine if you’re content to receive less, as long as you’re not regretful later.

If you have not achieved the success you deserve and are considering giving up, will you regret it in a few years or decades from now?

Only you can answer that, but you should carve out time to discover your motivation for pursuing your goals.

It’s a fact, if you don’t know what you want you’ll get what life hands you and it may not be in your best interest, affirms author Larry Weidel: “Winners know that if you don’t figure out what you want, you’ll get whatever life hands you.”

The key is to develop a powerful vision of what you want and hold that image in your mind. Nurture it daily and give it life by taking purposeful action towards it.

Vision + desire + dedication + patience + daily action leads to astonishing success. Are you willing to commit to this way of life or jump ship at the first sign of failure?

I’m amused when I read questions written by millennials on Quora who ask how they can become rich and famous or the next Elon Musk. Success is a fickle and long game with highs and lows. Similarly, there are no assurances even if you’re an overnight sensation, to sustain it for long, particularly if you don’t have the mental and emotional means to endure it.

Brendon Burchard states in High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way: “Be more intentional about who you want to become. Have vision beyond your current circumstances. Imagine your best future self, and start acting like that person today.”

This means you must rely on the one true constant in your favour: your personal development. The more you grow, the more you gain in terms of financial resources, status, success — simple. If you leave it to outside conditions to dictate your circumstances, you are rolling the dice on your future.

So become intentional on what you want out of life.

Commit to it.

Nurture your dreams.

Focus on your development and if you want to give up, know what’s involved before you take the plunge.

Because I assure you, someone out there right now is working harder than you, reading more books, sleeping less and sacrificing all they have to realise their dreams and it may contest with yours.

Don’t leave your dreams to chance.

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Why You Should Make It A Habit To Visualise Your Ideal Future

Visualise A Favourable Future

“Imagine your ideal future. Visualize yourself as if your life were perfect in every respect.” — Brian Tracy

It’s easy to focus on what is wrong in your life than trying to envisage a better future because your problems are real.

To imagine a future you can’t see poses a challenge. However, it’s worth devoting more time to visualise what you want to experience as I’m about to outline.

Before we proceed, I wish to render a caveat in case you dismiss this as another touchy feel good article. Visualisation without action is futile because mental preparation and inspired action are both necessary to bring to life your desires.

Visualisation is the seed fertilised in the mind, whereby action is the flowering plant that blossoms. One needs the other to manifest your goals and dreams.

I’m not articulating something new and apologise if you came looking for a revelation. Similarly, I can’t assure you that a new idea will change your life either. What I can offer is a message that highlights why visualisation is a powerful tool to improve your life.

It’s important to visualise a favourable future instead of focussing on circumstances that annoy you. Many people act impulsively without giving any thought to what they really want. They constantly think about what they don’t want and are disheartened when it shows up not as expected. This is because they haven’t devoted enough time or energy to get clear on their desires.

It was Napoleon Hill who wrote in The Master Key to Riches: “Mental attitude is important because it converts the brain into the equivalent of an electromagnet which attracts the counterpart of one’s dominating thoughts, aims and purposes. It also attracts the counterpart of one’s fears, worries and doubts.”

People spend more time than necessary observing what is wrong in their life instead of imagining what their ideal future could be.

Use Windows Of Opportunity To Bathe Your Mind

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.” — Carl Sagan

Hebbian Theory describes the mechanism for synaptic plasticity stating: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Brain cells that communicate frequently are strengthened through their connection. Messages travelling along the same pathway in the brain often become faster and more efficient.

This is beneficial for several reasons, least of which means what you give enough attention to is reinforced in the brain through its cellular network.

Therefore, if you give attention to what is unwanted in your life, those same cellular structures are strengthened and become efficient unless you change your thought patterns.

“Any idea that is held in the mind, emphasized, feared or reverenced, begins at once to clothe itself in the most convenient and appropriate physical form that is available,” states Napoleon Hill.

I realise this is easier said than done. It has taken me many years of practice and drawbacks to consider myself capable of directing my thoughts. However, through diligent practice and regular meditation, I am more aware of my thoughts instead of allowing them to control me.

Certain times of the day such as early mornings and late evenings can be conducive to visualisation since the mind is less agitated then. Think of these times as windows of opportunity to bathe your mind with images and ideas to create your ideal future. The right time of the day helps in nourishing your mind with the right impressions.

Likewise, if you are stressed, hungry or tired, try not to wrestle with your thoughts since you are unlikely to succeed.

“While a certain amount of vision is necessary, on the other hand it must be remembered that we are dealing with a power that is like the soil of the ground, which will produce the plant when we plant seed. It does not matter if we have never before seen a plant like the one that is to be made for us. Our thought is the seed and mind is the soil. We are always planting and harvesting. All that we need to do is to plant only that which we want to harvest,” wrote the founder of Science of Mind magazine Ernest S. Holmes.

Many New Age authors of the early 20th century spoke of the importance of visualisation, including: Ernest Holmes, Napoleon Hill, James Allen, Norman Vincent Peale, Wallace D Wattles, Neville Goddard and Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Even the great Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece spoke of training the mind to harness its potential. The most successful amongst us know that imagination is the strongest faculty of the mind.

Albert Einstein devoted many hours to conceive of intricate mathematical formulas. Author Walter Isaacson writes in Einstein: His Life and Universe: “How did he get his ideas? “I’m enough of an artist to draw freely on my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”

In a similar vein, it was the great Italian Renaissance genius Leonardo da Vinci who spent countless hours visualising his inventions before they came to life. Da Vinci referred to his visualisation process as, “sapere vedere” which translates to: “knowing how to see.”

Form A Mental Picture Of An Ideal Future

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.” — George Bernard Shaw

The power of imagination is a powerful mental ability to create one’s future. However, to take advantage of it you must devote consistent time and effort to develop your mental powers so it becomes laser focused.

The British philosophical writer James Allen wrote in As a Man Thinketh: “A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.”

Visualisation requires time, patience and diligence and is something world renowned creators and thinkers engage in often. They apply laser-like focus to envisioning an idea until it comes to life.

Prayer is a form of visualisation, so too are your words, so it makes sense to use your creative powers to visualise your future. It’s of no use bemoaning your current situation in the hope of creating a different outcome.

I liken it to travelling on a train headed in one direction before realising you want to go in the other direction. You notice a train approaching in the distance and decide to disembark in order to catch it.

And so it is with visualisation. Avoid giving your attention to what you’re unhappy with in your life. Do not talk or write about it. Rather, focus on what you want to create by setting aside as little as five minutes a day to visual it.

James Allen says: “A particular train of thought persisted in, be it good or bad cannot fail to produce its results on the character and circumstances. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.”

Many great thinkers used daydreaming to enhance their creative abilities. They sat in their favourite chair and allowed their minds to wander. Some took afternoon naps. In the moments preceding the nap, they visualised a scene or a problem and drifted off, awakening later with a solution. I often take regular naps in the afternoon and have noticed that my greatest insights arise following a twenty minute nap.

What you wish to bring to life should be first visualised and cultivated in the mind until it feels real. For the cynics, this is not positive thinking either, but redirecting the same mental energy you devote to your problems towards a better outcome.

Use the power of visualisation and emotions to form a mental picture of your ideal future.

It is often said we use ten percent of our minds. This is because we haven’t developed the understanding to create our lives via our thoughts. By harnessing the power of your thoughts, you can train your mind to focus intently on what you want to create and play with the ideas, perhaps changing them before they manifest into reality.

Take consistent action to support your visualisations. Remember, visualisation and right action work in harmony with one another. On their own, are merely a diluted fantasy.

Harness the power of your conscious and subconscious mind and you will undoubtedly create a powerful future worth living.

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Is The Pursuit Of Happiness An Illusion Or A Worthwhile Goal?

The Pursuit of Happiness

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller

The American author Henry David Thoreau once said: “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”

If we suggest happiness is an illusion that means it is impossible to achieve. Considering the suffering in the world, many believe happiness is an unattainable goal. It is remiss of me to solve this question in an article when religion and philosophy have tried to settle this dilemma for centuries. I can only reason that despite the suffering in the world, happiness is still attainable.

How is this possible you ask?

In underdeveloped countries inspite of poverty, happiness prevails when people’s basic needs are met. Contrast to the developed countries, daily life is more chaotic with high rates of stress and mental illness due to our demanding lifestyle.

To offer another opinion, the Canadian psychologist Jordan B. Peterson writes in 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: “In a crisis, the inevitable suffering that life entails can rapidly make a mockery of the idea that happiness is the proper pursuit of the individual.”

So, by focussing on the suffering in the world means losing sight of happiness as an attainable goal. In which case, it becomes a fleeting experience when your attention is directed towards it.

Many people believe happiness will transform their lives. Hence, the seeker travels far and wide in search of it, while all along it is contained within him.

Our hectic lifestyle makes happiness harder to attain since our minds are constantly preoccupied with something. Technology and communication devices vie for our attention and many people find it challenging to be alone in silence without a smart phone tethered to them.

I contend that happiness is achievable when we let go of unnecessary distractions. These include: toxic thoughts, habits, negative emotions, destructive relationships, unimportant commitments, etc.

By simplifying life, we create the idyllic conditions for happiness to thrive.

The teacher of spiritual self-enquiry Rupert Spira, explains in Being Aware of Being Aware that happiness is our core nature and cannot be gained, but expressed: “Happiness is our very nature and lies at the source of the mind, or the heart of ourself, in all conditions and under all circumstances. It cannot be acquired; it can only be revealed.”

If we direct our attention on the negatives of life, i.e. daily news, gossip & tabloid magazines, etc., we are drawn to what is wrong in the world, thus inhibiting the flow of happiness. You cannot read the tabloids without being fixated on the next ensuing drama. Our awareness should be channelled into worthwhile experiences which offer joy and happiness instead.

The notion that happiness is elusive stems from our inability to concentrate our attention long enough to experience it. If we believe happiness is unattainable, it becomes elusive since we have not created a conducive environment for it to flourish.

Reconnect With Happiness

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” – Anthony de Mello

Your beliefs shape your perceptions, which creates your experience of life.

Regrettably, many people drive happiness away because of their constant attention on external conditions. Therefore, suffering is inevitable when their needs are not met.

The need for evidence that the world is a dark and grim place makes happiness an impossible goal. Fear and hatred are broadcast into our minds every moment of the day, it’s no wonder it seems like an illusion.

Similarly, popular culture espouses that material possessions are the only source of happiness and fulfilment. If you don’t earn a seven figure salary or drive the latest European sports car and live in an affluent neighbourhood, you must be unhappy. And so the vicious cycle continues.

At the same time, many search for happiness through worldly experiences only to discover it has vanished from their lives when they return home. At this point they direct their interest towards gaining more ‘things’ or becoming involved in an intimate relationship in the hope it will bring them the happiness they long for.

Assuredly, the novelty wears off once more and they are back where they started—struggling to fill an empty void.

It begs the question, does happiness happen to us?—is it an externally generated experience, or a user generated experience?

If we subscribe to the belief that happiness occurs without our control, we remain at the mercy of it being a transitory experience. Conversely, if we believe we are the wellspring of our own happiness, it will present itself in our everyday life. This is empowering for several reasons least of which submits we become the source of our own joy instead of believing it is not within our own volition.

In his book Hardwiring Happiness, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson summarises how happiness can be attained by applying a four step practice, he calls H.E.A.L.

Have a positive experience
Enrich it
Absorb it
Link a positive experience to it (optional)

1. Have a positive experience: Hold the thought of a positive experience in your mind such the gratitude towards your partner, pet or family. Find evidence of an experience and focus on that.

2. Enrich it: Stay with the experience longer and feel it in your body. Notice it in new ways and experience the feelings as openly as you can. This is a mental exercise that requires training your brain to associate pleasure with your thoughts.

3. Absorb it: Allow the sensations you experienced in Step 2 to sink deeper into your mind and body. Allow it to become a cellular experience. For example, the sense of falling in love will be felt in your chest or you might experience tingling sensations throughout your body. Allow it to become a mind-body experience.

4. Link a positive experience to it (optional): While holding a positive experience in the forefront of your mind, find an association to a negative thought from the past. Shift between the two thoughts, however give more attention to the enriching experience while the negative ones gradually fall away.

To attain happiness, we must connect with our core nature, yet be able to find happiness in our everyday life. You will be surprised how inviting the world can be when you notice the smallest things that bring you happiness. It involves building a mental sanctuary leaning towards happy moments and pruning away undesirable experiences.

Allow the joy to come from within you, not without. It was the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius who said: “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

If you rush about your daily life, plugged in to electronic devices with little or no quiet time, happiness will pass you by like a high-speed train.

So make it a vow to integrate happiness into your life by noticing it in your everyday life. Reconnect with your child-like nature. Be curious towards the simple things in life and I assure you, happiness will not seem like an illusion.

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Your Purpose Isn’t To Meet Deadlines, It’s To Find Fulfilment Through Purposeful Action

An Inner Conviction To Help Others

“The difference between the dreamer and the doer is consistent, purposeful action.” — Jack Hodge

Chances are you are reading this article on a mobile device or computer with multiple applications open?

In fact, you’re probably thinking about the next thing on your to do list or contemplating a host of other things, without really being present.

We’re all guilty of it. Gone are the days of being attentive to the task at hand since our minds have become saturated with stimuli. We believe if we’re not attending to a million things at once, we’re not productive.

And sure, we blame technology for our blind sidedness but remember, behind every technological device lies a user in control of it.

For this reason, I don’t believe the narrative that technology is to blame because we should be in control. When it becomes a weapon used against you, then it rules your life.

It’s easy to be diverted from what is meaningful and be dragged into the rabbit hole of despair unable to find your way out.

You can be distracted by insignificant circumstances that vie for your attention if you don’t place a high value on what is meaningful. Purposeful action arises with an intent and an inner conviction to serve others or contribute to the world.

Author Victor J Strecher states in Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything that a strong purpose is tied to your understanding of the world: “A great purpose in life follows from values that reflect an understanding of the world.”

You are guided to help the community or play a bigger role in the lives of others because your purpose aligns with your core values.

For example, if you are affected by workplace misconduct, your mission might be to raise the awareness of misbehaviour within the workplace. You are driven by personal experience to change the culture of inappropriate behaviour. Your mission is aligned with your values and intent to serve and ease the suffering of others.

Distracted From Your Purpose

“When you do what you love, the seemingly impossible becomes simply challenging, the laborious becomes purposeful resistance, the difficult loses its edge and is trampled by your progress.” — Steve Maraboli

I can identify with a mission that aligns with my values lost my father to an illness decades ago. I recall in the years that followed asking myself a simple question that led to where I am today: “Why do some people get sick while others are healthy?”

I have been on a journey of discovery spanning a decade, learning about why some people get sick while others thrive. I wrote a book on the subject called The Power to Navigate Life and created a coaching program to support the book.

I learned many things along the way and helped countless individuals to heal and transform their lives, because they too were searching for answers.

“Purpose in life is concerned with what we most deeply value, and purposeful living is concerned with whether we’re living for what matters most,” explains Victor J. Strecher.

Fulfillment is found through purposeful action, not in meeting deadlines or having your head buried in your phone. These things distract you from your purpose and keep you entertained, neglecting what is important.

I’m yet to meet somebody other than an app developer or a person involved in the tech industry who is truly fulfilled spending hours a day on their mobile device.

I don’t intend to berate technology, but highlight how much time is wasted in mindless tasks that prevent you from pursuing purposeful action. I realise many people are scared to death to pursue their purpose, let alone realise they have one.

Purpose and purposeful action can be borne out of the same intention that aligns with your core values. Stealing time on a mobile device serves no one other than the manufacturer of the device and the telephone company whose profits you bankroll.

Motivational author and speaker Brendon Burchard says in High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way: “Often, the journey to greatness begins the moment our preferences for comfort and certainty are overruled by a greater purpose that requires challenge and contribution.”

Step out of your comfort zone and discover an intention that moves you in the smallest way. People believe purposeful action is aligned with a greater intent to change the world. It might or might not be. There is only one way to find out; take the first step.

Imagine Your Best Future Self

“Every person has a longing to be significant; to make a contribution; to be a part of something noble and purposeful.” — John C. Maxwell

I was watching Ice T being interviewed on Jimmy Fallon recently and was drawn to a phrase he lives by.

He said: “Don’t Guide Life, Ride Life.”

Whilst it is a simple axiom, it underscores the need to flow with the currents of life. They become disillusioned when it doesn’t turn out as planned and suffer as a consequence.

“Don’t Guide Life, Ride Life.”

To Ride Life focus on purposeful action because when you find something that rocks your boat, every minute becomes purposeful, even if you are struggling at first. For every writer and artist scrapping by, being creative far outweighs working in a job they loathe.

“Without courage, the adventure to genius and greatness can never even begin,” avows author Sean Patrick in Awakening Your Inner Genius.

I’ve coached many CEO’s and senior executives over the years who say they regret not pursuing their passions or owning their own business. Instead they are paid to pursue the company’s mission instead of focussing on their own. Yet, they are tied to this way of life in order to provide for their families and live a certain lifestyle.

Let me be clear, I do not condemn corporate culture in any way. These people are brave and courageous, yet some (not all) reach a point in their lives when regret sinks in.

I oppose putting your life on hold and not taking bold risks because of limiting beliefs or societal norms. These are trappings to have you conform and limit your potential.

Brendon Burchard says: “Be more intentional about who you want to become. Have vision beyond your current circumstances. Imagine your best future self, and start acting like that person today.”

My passion of writing, speaking in front of audiences and coaching amazing people arose from one question following my father’s passing. That question ignited a desire that took me on a quest and later became my calling. I often tell people I could never have dreamed this life into existence.

I recall speaking to year 10 students (equivalent to Freshman – High School in the US) late last year on how to discover their passion and purpose. A student stood up and asked how he could discover what he’s good at. My reply: “Fail often, learn quickly and never give up.”

The message from sports psychologist Stan Beecham captures the essence of life’s narrative: “Being happy is not the purpose of your life. Being fully alive and awake is the purpose of your life. That includes the pain and struggle that is a critical and necessary component to human existence.”

Keep trying until you have exhausted all avenues.

I assure you, whatever inspires you has been purposefully placed as the seed of potential within you, to serve the lives of others.

The post Your Purpose Isn’t To Meet Deadlines, It’s To Find Fulfilment Through Purposeful Action appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

8 Ways To Awaken Your Greatness And True Power

Greatness Must Be Nurtured

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” — Lao Tzu

To awaken greatness requires unearthing your potential that lies dormant within you.

Just as a miner who goes in search of diamonds and discovers the illustrious mineral, there are many who give up right before they strike it rich.

Giving up does not mean the diamonds don’t exist, for those who keep searching will eventually realise success.

So it is with greatness. You must continue the quest to unearth it because undoubtedly it dwells within you.

This article embodies eight key principles that serve as the foundation to awaken your greatness. Review them as often as you like. Let it be a roadmap to discover the treasured force within you.

Don’t believe you are less than capable of greatness. This is the biggest lie sold to mankind. Greatness exists within every man because you are born in the likeness of a greater intelligence that knows little of producing averageness.

The greatest men and women amongst us are those born with some level of skill, intelligence, intuition, creative ability etc. They have spent years, if not decades to cultivate that potential.

If you don’t believe me, consider the passage from someone who has studied world class performance for decades. Anders Ericsson coined the phrase ‘10,000 hour rule’ well before Malcolm Gladwell popularised it in his book Outliers.

He explains in Peak: How All of Us Can Achieve Extraordinary Things: “For more than thirty years I have studied these people, the special ones who stand out as experts in their fields — athletes, musicians, chess players, doctors, salespeople, teachers, and more. I have delved into the nuts and bolts of what they do and how they do it. I have observed, interviewed, and tested them. I have explored the psychology, the physiology, and the neuroanatomy of these extraordinary people. And over time I’ve come to understand that, yes, these people do have an extraordinary gift, which lies at the heart of their capabilities. But it is not the gift that people usually assume it to be, and it is even more powerful than we imagine. Most importantly, it is a gift that every one of us is born with and can, with the right approach, take advantage of.”

I hope this idea saturates into your mind over the follow paragraphs. Greatness must be nurtured, cultivated and exploited until it produces results. Yet, many people give up when the going gets tough. Challenges are nature’s way of pushing you to grow so you may develop the resources required to succeed.

1. Stretch Your Mind Through New Experiences

The mind must be stretched by new experiences otherwise it grows stale and listless. Most people live dreary lives doing the same repetitive tasks, day in day out wondering why the magic and spontaneity has vanished. They become habituated to this way of life without the freedom to explore their inner genius.

Authors Jeff Brown and Mark Fenske explain in The Winner’s Brain: 8 Strategies Great Minds Use to Achieve Success: “Some brains are more proactive than others. One of the best ways to take your use of memory to a higher level is by exposing it to as many new experiences as possible.”

We become familiar to the routines of everyday life and miss out on what is going on around us. To compound this, every person is tethered to their mobile device wearing it like a safety blanket.

Inspiration is closer to home than you think. It was the late Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People who wrote: “We become what we repeatedly do.” To stretch your mind, be open to new experiences beyond your daily habits and take notice of life with determined enthusiasm.

Instead of making excuses for the way life is, mould it into something you can become proud of. Perhaps your greatness has been dormant all these years, or needs to be roused. I assure you the moment you walk fearlessly towards greatness, it will run towards you with raging enthusiasm and show you the way. It will show you infinite possibilities to explore your potential in ways you never thought possible.

2. Overcome Your Fears By Making Peace With Them

Become curious in the face of your fears. Investigate them, reason with them but don’t buy into the narrative they espouse. Don’t let it be a one-sided conversation because you have the power to your fears. “Fear was given to us as a motive to avoid physical harm and death. That is it. We are the ones who have perverted it into a tool for the ego’s protection,” explains Brendon Burchard.

The secret to overcoming your fears is to approach them with curiosity while observing your reaction. So, if you fear asking your boss for a pay rise because they might say no, what small step can you take to overcome this fear?

“Fear, largely, is a waste of a good life, one of the most capable thieves of presence,” writes Jan Frazier in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is. Fear is an emotion, just like other emotions. Granted, it has a stronger intensity, but it is not intended to stop you, only to provide feedback on your actions.

Leverage your fears and you will discover the essence of your character. Assuredly, if you listen intently, there is a subtle message guiding you to surmount your fears. By listening closely, you come to understand the language of your fears. The more you know something, the better you are at taking inspired action to overcome it. Through a sense of wonder you’ll conquer your fears because for most people fear is a STOP sign. However, to the initiated fear is a PROMOTE sign, offering important clues about your inner psyche.

3. Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

“You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.” — Zig Ziglar

It’s no secret that optimal performance is gained outside your comfort zone. You seldom achieve success when you’re comfortable, because everything is familiar. There is little need to draw on your mental faculties when you’re in your safe zone. You must commit to taking bold risks if you seek to become the finest version of yourself.

To move beyond your comfort zone requires smaller steps to confront your fears, whilst managing discomfort. Learn to become comfortable with uncertainty just as elite forces like the Navy Seals are trained. It’s no surprise that personal growth is apparent beyond your comfort zone. In extending yourself, you celebrate your gains and accomplish new skills and emotional resiliency along the way.

That adaptability can work for or against you depending on your actions. If you remain idle, you risk rusting out, thus impairing your personal development. You can mitigate this uncertainty by reframing it as Stephen R. Covey avows, “Create an internal “comfort zone.” Then, when you get into the situation, it isn’t foreign. It doesn’t scare you.”

He is referring to creating an inner sanctuary when change overwhelms you. Within that space is the reassurance that what eventuates cannot disrupt what is familiar. Given life begins at the end of your comfort zone, what lies beyond your perceived security is far greater than your habituated environment. Life undergoes constant change and you must celebrate the challenging journey if you strive for a more enriching life.

4. Play Big In The Game Of Life

Play big in the game of life irrespective of fame, fortune or success. It is vital you honour your talents, resources and gifts to the best of your ability. It is incumbent on you to bring to life the best version of yourself regardless of your limitations. To be your best is an evolving process, yet the one true constant is that you improve without settling.

What you receive is proportional to what you believe you deserve. History has revealed less talented people who have achieved outstanding success owing to their commanding self-belief. Overcome your fears and push past your resistance. These two aspects alone keep you stranded because your life’s objectives become diluted, through the fog of separation.

Sacrifice is essential in any field where the prize is big. Nothing is gained by standing on the side-lines. Even time is a sacrifice when pursuing your passion. Those who play small, receive smaller rewards. Those who take risks with little assurances, are compensated owing to their enduring commitment. Life honours those willing to risk it all and play big.

You cannot lose in the game of life where lessons are learned and wisdom is gained. Success arrives when you least expect it, due to the hard work and tireless commitment to greatness.

Focus on what matters and allow everything else not conducive to your potential to fall away. If it doesn’t resonate with you, let it go so something better will fill its place. Overcome your fears and focus on what you can achieve. If you are pulled by your fears, you perceive life from a constrained mindset.

Trying to reach for the skies while lying on your back is not conducive to your potential. Get on your feet and make daily advances towards that which you seek. I urge you to think with the end in mind as the late Stephen Covey said if you wish to live a significant life. From that place you create an exceptional life using your talents, gifts and genius to serve others.

5. Discover Your Potential And Live It Fully

“Not everybody can be famous but everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

Every man yearns to express his potential through his life and work. The dictionary defines potential as: latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness. Potential evokes the impression of an idle car, roaring with possibility before hurtling down the road. It is the car’s engine and driver that decide the car’s speed. Yet, without someone to take control of the vehicle, there is little potential to speak of.

Regrettably, many people are held back by limiting beliefs, fears and doubts related to their potential. Left unchecked, these destructive energies perpetuate into a contracted self-worth. Whatever you buy into long enough and with enough conviction, forms your reality. You recognise potential within yourself foremost when you abide by your highest distinction. In doing so, it summons your dormant strengths and commitment toward greatness.

To cultivate potential, hold steadfast to move in the right direction, without becoming fixed on the path which leads you there. Potential must be obvious to the individual and is accompanied with passion and desire.  Make it a priority to nurture your strengths since passion and enthusiasm alone only get you so far.

An indomitable will, spawned by inspiration rouses potential. It is through dedicated focus toward a vision or dream that transforms desire into action since strong aspirations alone are insufficient. Whatever is possible is attributed to the mind that can conceive it. The realisation of your goals and dreams are constrained only by your limiting beliefs. They slow if not halt progress altogether, because the same creative intelligence that manifests your desires, also gives birth to your insecurities.

The power to unleash potential is overcome by rising above your obstacles, instead of being defeated by them. Potential is clothed in: hard work, an indomitable will, commitment and courage. To take a contrasting view, I equate lack of potential to simmering water that never boils given the heat has been turned down on it. To nurture potential, form a strong foundation to harness those gifts and nurture them as you evolve.

You cannot escape your potential any more than refusing to inhale oxygen from the air surrounding you. However, how you use that potential forms the foundation for life to express herself through you. Your task is to birth that potential by giving it life through: dedication, commitment and inspired action.

6. Find Your Passion And Purpose

Your life’s purpose is found through trial and effort. Purpose is found in action, not inaction. Your purpose may vary and may serve others as you evolve. Be mindful of attaching your purpose to your career as evident when one is made redundant, or the company downsizes. Many people describe feelings of emptiness following an unexpected change in their profession since they connect their purpose to their career.

The notion you have ONE purpose remains a misconception. There are many stories of successful people who have found innumerable callings throughout their life. Equally, many people are called to their purpose, while others uncover their purpose when they least expect it. There is no prevailing formula for finding one’s purpose. The key lies in the commitment to action and perseverance.

One must stay open to inner guidance — by learning to trust your intuition. Seek the advice of those who have traversed the path before you by studying the steps they took to uncover their purpose. As well-intentioned as family members are, soliciting their advice contrary to your views may work against you. Another way to overcome your fears is to pursue your passions which embody your inner most desires. You must bring them to life and overcome your fears, anxieties and worries.

Your passions are connected to your greater self that is not bound by fears or negative emotions, but inspiration. When inspiration and passion converge, it is akin to a matchstick thrown on dry wood resulting in a burning flame. One without the other are merely objects, yet when brought together they can set anything alight. Passion engenders courage because you are driven by a strong desire to realise a greater purpose than your fears. Passion douses the flame on fear and turns it into smouldering ash before it burns furiously.

Your passion equalled with inspiration must be accompanied with a compelling WHY. It is infused with a deeper meaning tied to your purpose with an intent to bring forth the gifts from your soul. So the message is clear: find your passion and be fearless in your pursuit of it.

7. Live Without Regrets

“Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, service and character.” — William Arthur Ward

Regret arises when you live less than what you are capable of. It signifies going against the tide of your inner wisdom, essential to your personal growth. Regret serves as a reminder your actions are not purposeful and a clearer intent is required. You must connect with a deeper motivation if you wish to live a life without regrets. This inner resource summons you to play bigger than what you have been.

Don’t hide behind excuses when life does not turn out as you hoped since you are likely to become a victim instead of a victor. That’s why you should be purposeful in your actions, instead of acting from a place of fear. When you take inspired action, everything unfolds according to a greater plan. The pieces of the puzzle come together as they should. The secret to living without regrets is to act intentionally with what is of importance to you.

If you are dictated by what popular culture considers important, you are not honouring your deepest wisdom, but following the masses. This is likely to result in regrets and uninspired action.

To live without regrets, pursue what you value most and fills your life with joy irrespective of what others consider. This does not mean your actions should affect other people though do not be dictated by what they consider important. People will disapprove how you live your life because it does not conform to their opinions. It may jeopardise their self-esteem since they have not taken action to follow their goals or dreams.

Similarly, people are afraid to try new things for fear of failure. When did failure embed itself in our psyche and stop us in our tracks? Failure is merely feedback, alerting you to something that requires more steps for completion. It should not impact your self-worth unless you allow it to.

Regret rears its ugly head when your actions are not aligned with your WHY. This is your underlying motivation clothed in a deeper purpose. Otherwise, you are likely to plod along and throw caution to the wind, hoping your efforts succeed. If it doesn’t, you experience regret and a blow to your self-esteem since you have not tied it with your intrinsic values.

Living in the present moment offers the opportunity to reconnect with what is important now. Life advances at a fast pace, it’s easy to lose sight of your inner needs until a major crisis appears. By then, it’s too late because the foundations that once held your life together have collapsed, taking your sense of purpose with it. To follow your inner intelligence, tune in to the voice of your inner self. This may be as: play, movement or any form of creative expression.

The child within wants to be heard. If you dismiss it because things out there distract you, you miss exploring what is vital to your joy and happiness. I invite you to look unfavourably on regret and live an intentional life. When you are aligned with something greater, there is no room for regret. Instead, purposeful action commandeers the helm to lead you toward a life replete with fulfilment and bliss.

8. Develop True Strength Of Character

Character is engraved within you and follows you throughout life. It encompasses your reputable qualities and is the bedrock of your existence. But character can be eroded if you do not adhere to your highest values when it matters. This is because it takes time to build the choices you make. Habits build character. Your actions correspond to the sum of your character and are formed behind closed doors, revealing yourself to the world.

Still, you must align your values with your highest good and the good of others, through altruistic actions rather than self-serving interests. To uphold your moral values is not enough. Abiding by those values so your actions are congruent is of greater importance. You must build a strong foundation upon which your character is formed. The person with a strong character is willing to upgrade their knowledge to become a better version of themselves.

True strength of character is reinforced by continuous self-improvement. You must widen your circle of development to encompass greater attributes, indicative of the person you wish to become. Self-improvement is developed through a Growth Mindset instead of a Fixed Mindset, according to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, author of the international bestseller Mindset.

The Growth Mindset individual appreciates character is a transformative process that changes over the course of your life, so it coincides with your greater self.

Strength of character is vital to pursuing excellence and is not tied to success alone, but connected to constant improvement. True character develops when it is expressed, yet it must be apparent within the individual for it to be known. The individual must discard their previous knowledge in light of new information. With more insight comes more freedom, leading to personal power.

Therefore, character is an ongoing commitment to uphold your highest values. Character requires maintaining integrity, where you act in accordance with your highest values and treat people alike irrespective of their race, religion, education, gender or political affiliations. Integrity is the cornerstone of character. A crack in one’s character is attributed to being inconsistent with their actions. French author André Gide wrote: “Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.”

Those with strength of character are honest and trustworthy for they stand by their word as the pillar of their existence. Strength of character is evident in those who have self-control and emotional intelligence. They are in alignment with their core values and stand by their commitment not to weaken their principles.

Self-control is related to acting in a way that does not jeopardise one’s character or moral values. Building character is a lifelong practice, so a momentary lapse of judgement can destroy it, where it took years to build.

True character is shaped behind closed doors since you cannot tell a great deal about a man until he is tested. Yet, in solitude he forms the bedrock of his character and shapes it like a blacksmith forming steel. For it was the late Dr. Wayne Dyer who once said: “What other people think of me is none of my business.” It is the opinion of yourself that is of importance and the foundation of your strength of character.

The post 8 Ways To Awaken Your Greatness And True Power appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

The Power Of Awareness: How To Cultivate Mindfulness In Your Everyday Life

No Longer Trapped In Your Thoughts

“Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.” — Jon Kabat-Zinn

Even though it was the Master’s Day of Silence, a traveller begged for a word of wisdom that would guide him through life’s journey.

The Master nodded affably, took a sheet of paper and wrote a single word on it: “Awareness.”

The visitor was perplexed. “That’s too brief. Would you please expand on it a bit?”

The Master took the paper back and wrote: “Awareness, awareness, awareness.”

“But what do these words mean?” said the stranger helplessly.

The Master reached out for the paper and wrote: “Awareness, awareness, awareness means AWARENESS.”

Anthony de Mello’s amusing tale highlights how something we take for granted, has a powerful affect in our lives.

The single biggest impediment to happiness and fulfilment results from an impaired awareness. Many people scurry about their daily lives absorbed in their thoughts, processing memories of pain and regret or expecting a future to arrive as they hope for.

They are not alive to the present moment but living in their thoughts. Suffering and pain ensues because they believe their thoughts to be true.

Author Jan Frazier states in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is that we must redirect our attention away from external events to within: “If you want to lead a more peaceful life, the primary focus should shift from external events to the inner, as a general practice.”

Awareness is the experience of consciousness functioning in the backdrop of our lives. It asks nothing of you other than to engage it often.

People associate self-awareness to being awake which means not asleep at the wheel of life. When you are awake, you are no longer trapped in your thoughts but recognise they come and go from your mind like ocean tides.

“Paying attention to automatic thoughts is simply a habit we can change. When you shift into awareness-based knowing, automatic thinking moves into the background, and you experience true peace of mind,” states psychotherapist and author Loch Kelly in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness.

Programmed By Past Conditioning

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness.”— Jon Kabat-Zinn

I’ve had the pleasure of coaching hundreds of people on mindfulness based awareness through simple habits. Most are corporate executives and CEOs who spend a lot of time processing thoughts to make effective decisions.

Yet, the process of thinking does not mean you know where your thoughts are leading you. Of those I work with, many of them notice the same theme throughout their minds. They feel as though their thoughts are thinking them instead of being in charge of their thoughts.

Can you relate to this?

This could be attributed to a lack of awareness of their thought process. It doesn’t mean one must be mindful of every thought, instead you notice the main themes of your thoughts throughout the day.

“Awake awareness can “know” something without referring overtly to thoughts, but it can also use thought when needed,” explains Loch Kelly.

For example, when I’m tired late in the evening or following strenuous exercise, I notice my thoughts are more scattered than usual. I am mindful not to make major decisions at those times since I am not functioning at my best.

Have you noticed how some people can push your buttons at times because they know you have a tendency to react?

Similarly, do you make impulsive decisions at certain times of the day when your willpower is depleted?

Research shows that willpower depletion correlates with a drop in blood glucose in the brain. We are more likely to make mistakes at those times, particularly as it relates to nutritional choices.

It was the Greek philosopher Socrates who said: “Know yourself.” He was referring to knowing oneself at a deeper level beyond your superficial likes and dislikes.

Knowing yourself means being mindful of the nature of your thoughts before they become emotional reactions. The science is clear, many of your choices originate in your subconscious mind. However, they must have first past through your conscious awareness, considered the gatekeeper of the mind.

The subtleties of everyday life such as the music you listen to, the people you associate with and what you read online, can leave a suggestible impression on your subconscious mind.

“The subconscious is a powerful part of who you are and its job is to keep you in the familiar even if it doesn’t work anymore. Your awakened choices are made with present-moment awareness. They are conscious choices,” affirms author Colette Baron Reid in Uncharted: The Journey Through Uncertainty to Infinite Possibility.

In a sense, your subconscious mind and your actions are the result of your biology, past conditioning and your environment.

Meaning Making Machines

“Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.” — Thích Nhất Hạnh

To cultivate mindfulness in everyday life, be aware of your surroundings. Keep your thoughts in the present moment instead of ruminating on the past or future.

An exercise I ask my coaching clients to do involves taking a walk in nature and notice what is taking place around them, without adding a narrative to it. This means not being distracted by their mobile phone device or other thoughts.

Constantly processing thoughts inhibits mindfulness, yet awareness notices everything and registers it in your consciousness.

Loch Kelly says: “One of the most important things to learn is how to separate awareness from thinking, and then we can see that thoughts and emotions are not the centre of who we are.”

I ask my clients to leave their mobile device at home and avoid creating a mental dialogue of what they see. I tell them to experience their surroundings through their senses instead of trying to add meaning to it.

For example, you might see other dog owners playing with their pets. Instead of creating a mental dialogue, simply experience it through your nervous system.

Your awareness recognises the gender of the individuals, their height, weight, facial expressions and a thousand other things, yet your mind interprets it to make sense of it. It is for this reason humans are meaning making machines.

Whilst it’s good to make sense of your surroundings, you can become stuck processing your experiences instead of experiencing what you see.

Rupert Spira writes in Being Aware of Being Aware: “Peace and happiness are not, as such, objective experiences that the mind has from time to time; they are the very nature of the mind itself. Happiness is our essential nature, apparently obscured or eclipsed much of the time by the clamour of objective experience but never completely extinguished by it.”

Allow Your True Essence To Emerge

“Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that—thoughts.”— Allan Lokos

Another exercise I ask my clients to do is one you can try yourself. It involves closing your eyes and picturing a yellow lemon.

What does the lemon look like?

Is it big or small?

Is it sitting on a table or floating in thin air?

Can you taste, smell or notice anything else about the lemon?

Simply observe what you see, yet avoid creating a mental dialogue of the scene.

People find this exercise easier as a glimpse into practicing mindfulness, because when your eyes are closed, you witness your thoughts without judging what you see. The more you practice these exercises, the more familiar you become exploring mindfulness in everyday life.

The post The Power Of Awareness: How To Cultivate Mindfulness In Your Everyday Life appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

Why The Smallest Steps Towards Your Goals Become Giant Strides Of Momentum

Don’t Quit But Readjust Your Plans

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” — Jim Rohn

There’s a great deal written about goal attainment nowadays, I don’t wish outline those in this article. Rather, I wish to focus on how daily action, irrespective of its size compounds into greater momentum.

The problem or solution whichever way you think of it, is that you have set a goal to realise by a specific date. I use the word problem or solution concurrently because from your current position your goal can be viewed through two perspectives.

However, one thing is for certain, you must move forward towards your goals irrespective of what is encountered along the way.

Angela Duckworth highlights this idea in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance: “As any coach or athlete will tell you, consistency of effort over the long run is everything.”

The journey to reach your goals is seldom easy, in fact it was never meant to be easy. If part you believes this, I challenge you to confront the belief and investigate it further. Perhaps you are setting lofty goals or ones that are easily attainable.

The purpose of goals is the personal growth experienced along the way. I’m not suggesting the final goal is of lesser importance, yet were it not for the growth that takes place, the goal is meaningless. It is the joy of the experience and who you become while pursuing the goal that makes it worthwhile.

“If you leave your growth to randomness, you’ll always live in the land of mediocrity,” writes motivational author and speaker Brendon Burchard in High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way.

To quit when the going gets tough is taking the easy way out, readjusting your plans however should be your primary focus. Abandoning your goals is akin to flying from one destination to another when your plane is unexpectedly stranded at a stopover. As a result, you return home instead of finding an alternative route to your destination.

And yet this is what many people do in terms of their goals. They give up when the going gets tough because they lack the confidence in themselves to find a solution, or are frustrated overcoming the obstacle.

However, that is the purpose of goals. To find new ways to reach them, gain new skills and discover more about yourself.

Find Ways To Motivate Yourself

“We are the creative force of our life, and through our own decisions rather than our conditions, if we carefully learn to do certain things, we can accomplish those goals.” — Stephen Covey

Goals require constant motion and making informed decisions explains author Larry Weidel: “If you want to win, you have to keep moving forward. To keep moving forward, you have to keep making decisions.”

To achieve your goals, establish firm habits as a framework to support you reach them. Without good habits you are being controlled by external conditions and your internal world.

I’ve coached many hundreds of people who say they experience a loss of inspiration while pursuing their goals. Successful people are like you and me and therefore prone to feeling unmotivated from time to time. The difference however, is they have a strong framework of habits to fall back on. They don’t contemplate giving up or changing their goal, but will adjust their route to get there.

Angela Duckworth says: “But the important thing is the idea itself: Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.”

Consider an author who wants to write an 80,000 word novel and encounters periods of being unmotivated. They know if they miss a day of writing, they will fall behind their deadline and soon enough their publisher will be on their back to complete the novel.

Whilst projects and deadlines are good motivators, they can sometimes work against you depending on your motivational type. So if you respond favourably to deadlines, as long as you have sound habits in place, you will likely stick to your goals.

“The trick to success is to choose the right habit and bring just enough discipline to establish it,” is the advice from authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results.

You must find ways to motivate yourself, knowing conditions needn’t be optimal to tackle your goals. That is, you may wake up feeling tired or with a cold or flu and still pursue your goals, anyway. That’s why sound habits are important, especially when you are less inclined to pursue them.

For example, when writing one of my earlier books I made a plan to complete one thousand words per day, in order to finish the manuscript in less than ninety days. However, there were days when life got in the way and I missed writing due to other pressing matters. Yet, through good habits I made up for it in the ensuing days by writing two thousand words or more.

A strange thing happened as a result. The momentum of my habits pulled me along and within sixty days I completed over ninety five percent of the manuscript. I was ahead because my habits forced me to focus on the task instead of being dictated by external factors.

At the saying goes: “Easy to do, easy not to do.”

Create Sound Habits And Stick To Them

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” — Zig Ziglar

In a similar vein, the advice from Gary Keller and Jay Papasan is one that should be followed earnestly: “Getting extraordinary results is all about creating a domino effect in your life.”

I recall years ago when I was coaching clients with their health goals, many were frustrated setting goals with a specific end date. To their way of thinking, the goal seemed difficult to reach because there was a gap separating their desires from where they stood.

Most times, the client had not formed habits in this area and it was my task to help them create the right habits to reach their goals. They were surprised when I set a plan that involved walking around the block twice in the first week and increasing it over the coming weeks.

I imagine they were looking for a magic nutritional formula, specific exercises and supplements to achieve their goals, yet it was much simpler than that.

I wanted to first create sound habits they could stick to until it became second nature. It required focussing on building a solid foundation in the initial stages.

When they were secure with their habit, the momentum was like a wheel rolling downhill; it gathered enough energy to keep it moving.

I liken it to consulting with an architect when you plan on building a new home. In the initial discussion, they are unlikely to discuss the fittings for the kitchen or bathroom since that comes later on. It involves agreeing on the designs for the foundations and framework first, then the rest will follow.

“Success is actually a short race — a sprint fuelled by discipline just long enough for habit to kick in and take over,” affirm authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan once more.

That is the key principle of this article. Smaller steps become giant strides of momentum if you keep moving forward towards your goals. If you stop or quit, you must find the motivation to start again and create new habits from scratch.

Quitting is not the answer, however adapting your plan should be the aim if you wish to reach your goals.

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Everyone Is Accustomed To Fear, Yet It Is Passion That Makes You Fearless

Take Bold And Courageous Action

“Passion is born when you catch a glimpse of your true potential.” — Anonymous

Fear is sewn into the fabric of our lives and has a way of impairing our judgement. Many people are dominated by what they stand to lose instead of what they can gain.

From an early age, we fear the unknown and what is likely to impose on our wellbeing. However, it begs the question whether fear is a self-inflicted prison or something real?

You are no doubt aware of the acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. Whilst this may be the case, fear is real for many and can keep you trapped in your circumstances if you are unaware of it. Remaining safe does not equate to living a remarkable life because you are governed by your emotions instead of transforming them.

It involves overcoming what previously controlled you and finding new evidence to support an emerging reality. You challenge outdated beliefs and take inspired action to support your new beliefs.

So, is it possible to live with fear without it impairing your judgement?

Yes, in fact author Susan Jeffers who wrote Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway offers insightful methods to transform your fears without them imposing on you.

People believe the presence of fear means not having to take action. Jeffers suggests fear is more prevalent in your life than you believe, yet despite this you should still take bold and courageous action: “Every time you encounter something that forces you to “handle it,” your self-esteem is raised considerably. You learn to trust that you will survive, no matter what happens. And in this way your fears are diminished immeasurably.”

Another way to overcome your fears is to pursue your passions which embody your inner most desires. It is incumbent upon you to bring them to life and overcome your fears, anxieties and worries.

Your passions are connected to your greater self that is not bound by fears or negative emotions, but inspiration. When inspiration and passion converge, it is akin to a matchstick thrown on dry wood resulting in a burning flame. One without the other are merely objects, yet when brought together they can set anything alight.

Founder of Mindvalley Vishen Lakhiani writes in The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On Your Own Terms: “When you pursue a calling, your life is filled with passion and meaning. With the right practices, anyone can reach this stage of supreme fulfillment.”

Passion Requires Inspiration

The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” — Ferdinand Foch

Passion engenders courage because you are driven by a strong desire to realise a greater purpose than your fears. Passion douses the flame on fear and turns it into smouldering ashes before it burns furiously.

Your passion equalled with inspiration must be associated with a compelling WHY. It is infused with a deeper meaning tied to your purpose with an intent to bring forth the gifts from your soul.

“…If you have a passion that keeps you going, you have an edge. This is yet another reason why identifying your particular calling — something that ignites that passion in your mind, heart, and soul — is so important,” states Vishen Lakhiani.

It would be remiss of me to come this far and suggest that passion alone can overcome fear. Passion requires inspiration because one fuels the other and together they are allies in battle, waging war against the enemy in the form of fear.

If you wish to overcome your fears, consider the following formula:

Passion + Inspiration + WHY = Fearless

One need only look to those achieving remarkable things in the world: inventors, engineers, sportsmen, artists or otherwise. They have a deep connection to these ideals and are often referred to as fearless because they learned to transcend their doubts through a higher consciousness.

The American academic Angela Duckworth explains in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance: “Passion for your work is a little bit of discovery, followed by a lot of development, and then a lifetime of deepening.”

So the message is clear: find your passion and be inspired to be fearless in your pursuit of it. For when the time is right you will have overcome your fears.

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How To Embrace Your Imperfections And See Yourself Through The Eyes Of Love

See Yourself Through The Eyes Of Love

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” — Brené Brown

Despite your thoughts about your self-worth, you are perfect just the way you are.

If you only knew how the universe sees you, it would renew your self-confidence. You are born with perfect genes and a mind and body that defies what man is capable of engineering.

Your role is to embrace the wholeness of your being and see yourself through the eyes of love. I’ve experienced a glimpse of what this feels like through meditation. To say it was pure bliss would be to describe paradise to a blind person.

The happiness and fulfilment you search for lies within you and seeks you as much as you seek it. It is the research professor Brené Brown who states in Rising Strong: “Many of us will spend our entire lives trying to slog through the shame swampland to get to a place where we can give ourselves permission to both be imperfect and to believe we are enough.”

There Are No Make Mistakes

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ― Mark Twain

How is it possible that an intelligence responsible for the sun rising each day, birds flying in unison and the beating of your heart, be anything less than perfect? Many people fail to consider the miracle of these occurrences because they take them for granted. Yet, children appreciate life is a miracle to them.

There’s beauty in the unknown to children as evident in the passage looking through a child’s eyes. For example, my young nephew delights in discovering insects in the garden like most children do. He never ceases to tire of it and describes them in great detail to others. He once asked his mother how the different insects know their role within Mother Nature. Who tells the bees to pollinate a flower without other insects competing for the task? Children recognise miracles because they are innocent enough to expect them.

To appreciate something greater means to recognise the same intelligence is at work in your own life. Our minds are not equipped to fully grasp the mystery which takes place in our lives, and yet we complain when it doesn’t work as planned.

I am drawn to psychotherapist Loch Kelly’s perspective in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness where he writes: “We are all imperfect. That is not going to change, but neither is the fact that we can realize who we are is already unconditional love itself.”

For example, recall the last time you thought of someone and bumped into them later that day? Such events are normal occurrences for me nowadays. Call it what you will: chance, luck, coincidence, fate or synchronicity, they all play a role in our lives if you are open to them.

Love is a universal mystery. How do you measure love? Sure, you might recite the chemical reactions that takes place between two people in love, but where does love reside? Is it in the human heart or within the realm of consciousness? Why has science yet to prove it?

The point worth making is, you are made in the image of a greater intelligence and there can be no mistake of your worthiness and perfection.

Embrace Your Own Perfection

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ― Lao Tzu

Do you embrace your perfections or find fault in physical aspects of your body? Self-acceptance means to acknowledge who you are, not who you should be. People get confused with this term because they believe it means accepting your faults. It is not that at all.

Self-acceptance means to accept yourself knowing you are constantly evolving. Yet, if you struggle with this idea, how will you accept yourself when you become more?

Some people are never satisfied with themselves since there is always something to gain, be do or have. This creates emptiness within because you are like a checkout operator, processing transactions instead of delighting in what you have.

Donald Altman writes in Clearing Emotional Clutter: Mindfulness Practices for Letting Go of What’s Blocking Your Fulfilment and Transformation: “Self-acceptance changes the rules of the game by ending the ego’s constant war over what is good and bad in us, what is beautiful and ugly in us, and what is okay to let in and what is not.”

“Acceptance doesn’t seek to define us by a particular behaviour. With self-acceptance, we invite in our whole self, both the unlikable and the lovable parts. We take a more gentle and diplomatic stance toward ourselves, our goals, our limitations, our vulnerabilities, and so on.”

How can you develop a better relationship with your imperfections?

Are you willing to consider your flaws through a different lens?

No one is perfect, so it makes sense to accept yourself, since you are a work in progress and your job will never be done while you are alive.

See The Perfection In Others

“It is not worth the while to let our imperfections disturb us always.” ― Henry David Thoreau

Do you see the beauty in others or find faults in their appearance, intelligence, upbringing or status?

We should notice the goodness in others rather than perceive their flaws. If someone is different to you, try to look for favourable qualities in that person. There’s always an opportunity to appreciate something in others, even if you need to look harder. Remember, what you recognise in others is apparent in you.

The definition of the Hindu word Namaste translates to: I bow to the divine in you that I see in myself. In other words, the perfection in others is also alive in you. By acknowledging it, you embrace your own perfection.

“When human interactions become a way of practicing self-acceptance by treating others with more patience, kindness, and respect, a constant need to be heard shifts into listening as an act of love,” writes author Matt Kahn in Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You.

See the beauty in others and instead of judging them consider seeing them via the thought: “That person is interesting.” Try it out (whether today or tomorrow) and note how you feel by the end of the day.

I’ve asked my coaching clients to practice this exercise and they report how peaceful they feel. Judging and criticising is hard work and requires mental effort. Moreover, our minds are accustomed to this way of thinking due to an inherent negativity bias.

Notice others without judging them and you will undoubtedly feel better and more peaceful.

You are perfect just the way you are and through your acceptance of it, you allow the same consciousness to develop through you. It is not conceited to regard yourself in high esteem. It is only arrogant when you think you are better than others.

Therefore, embrace the wholeness of your being and allow your inner radiance to shine. And as you do, you will allow others to do the same.

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