Tony Fahkry's Blog, page 31

5 Ways To Fully Commit To Your Dreams So You Never Give Up

Dreams are impossible to achieve.

That’s why 99% of people don’t go after them and why the 1% that do, are considered extraordinary.

That doesn’t mean they are unachievable.

If you noticed, I purposely contradicted myself in the first three sentences in order to lead into the following question.

Do you agree or disagree with my opening statement?

Your answer will point toward your beliefs about pursuing your dreams. And that’s okay, because your beliefs are not fixed. I hope by the end of the article I will have convinced you of five ways to fully commit to your dreams so you never give up.

Here’s the thing: you’ve got to be purposeful about your dreams because they are your lifeblood. Most people give up too early on their dreams because in many ways following a dream is like an open water swim. It is midway through a swim when a person is likely to quit because they’re unable to see the finish and doubts emerge. But if they think how far they’ve come, it will be a disservice to give up.

If you can’t see the finish, it doesn’t mean you should give up on your dreams. Go on blind faith that you will be shown the way as you draw closer. It is a lack of faith and fear that blinds us to pursuing our dreams. It is wanting to fulfil our needs now instead of the promise of a better tomorrow that forces us to put our dreams on hold.

The pursuit of a dream is tied to answering your life’s biggest question. That question arises from within your soul and it is your mission to breathe life into it. If you leave this world without having committed yourself to finding the answer, you will have denied yourself the opportunity to experience your greatest self.

I realise life is uncompromising and we are pulled in many directions, with choices that must be made now. Some of those choices are compelling and require you to take urgent action, such as providing for your family and a roof over your head. Yet, that doesn’t mean you should put your dreams on hold just to get by.

There will come a time when you will look back and regret having made those choices. It was the English poet William Blake who once declared: “Hindsight is a wonderful thing but foresight is better, especially when it comes to saving life, or some pain!”

Irrespective of where you are in your life’s journey, I trust the following points will help you commit to your dreams and make them a reality. I recommend getting really clear and purposeful about your life, because pursuing a dream is part of that narrative. Don’t consider it separate from you, but part of you.

1. Overcome Your Fears By Living Bigger and Bolder
A Mind-Made Illusion

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” — Jim Morrison

In his book Influence: Science and Practice, author Robert Cialdini shares a story capturing the life-changing effects of fear. In a tribe in southern Africa, the Thonga people hold an annual initiation for the young boys in the village. A young Thonga boy must endure a series of intense physical challenges before being admitted to adulthood.

The three-month ritual comprises six major trials: beatings, exposure to cold, thirst, eating unsavoury foods, punishment and the threat of death. These strange rituals are designed to turn a young boy into a man, while silencing his inner demons. Spending three months subjected to mental, emotional and physical hardship is extreme. However, many of these young boys go on to become strong and powerful leaders in their tribes.

Despite the cruelty of the ritual, the story highlights how we can transform our fears from weakness into courage. “Fear rips up from freedom. It is the destroyer of greatness. We know this, and we know we should tame our minds in order to defeat fear. Yet look at all the adults who act like powerless children and avoid the life they want because of fear,” writes Brendon Burchard in The Motivation Manifesto.

In society, fear impairs the lives of those who buy into its false existence. It was the French philosopher René Descartes who declared: “I think therefore I am.”  The fact that I’m aware of my thoughts means there’s a thinker behind the thoughts. Many people unwittingly believe: “If I think fearful thoughts, they must be true.” Yet fear is no more than an illusion created by the mind. A great deal of what we fear rarely eventuates, yet fear predominates our thought landscape.

Since fear is a survival instinct alerting us to impending danger, it becomes a threat when our thoughts are stuck in a repetitive cycle.  When fear rules your life, you are at the mercy of the emotion. Psychotherapist David Richo explains in The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them: “When we look deeply into our fears, we see that, at base, every fear is a fear of not having control.”

Transforming Fear

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” — Nelson Mandela

How can we transform fear so it doesn’t impair our lives? Firstly, appreciate that fear is feedback alerting you to forward progress. It signifies you are stepping out of your comfort zone and moving into uncharted territory. Rather than oppose your fears, see it as an opportunity to gain new insights. Embrace fear as part of your personal evolution. Many people see it as a brick wall while others regard it as an opportunity to overcome.

“Fear reduces resilience and the ability to grow from trauma, and purposeful living reduces fear,” avows author Victor J. Strecher in Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything. Fear inspires a call to action. It advises us to avoid what is harmful to our lives and take affirmative action.

Take for example the fear of public speaking, widely considered one of people’s greatest fears. The American comedian Jerry Seinfeld states: “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

It is apparent in this instance that fear forces us to brush up on our speaking skills through rehearsal. Rather than being unprepared, fear forces us to show up ready or risk being humiliated in front of an audience. As we overcome fear, we build strength of character and rise above any obstacles towards victory. Therefore, fear is a teacher providing you with the vital experience before the lesson.

The Present Moment

“If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgement of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Since fear is a future occurrence, it allows us to reconnect to the present moment when our minds wander. We are reminded of the fact that all we have is contained within this moment. There’s no need to worry or fear a future which seldom arrives as we hope, since fear reminds us to let go of the incessant thoughts of an expected tomorrow. Author Colette Baron Reid states in Uncharted: The Journey Through Uncertainty to Infinite Possibility: “One of the biggest challenges in overcoming self-centered fears is that when we’re afraid, we’re likely not in the present.”

It must be repeated, we cannot drop fear from our lives, not in the way many people believe. We can turn down the volume on fear by not becoming a slave to it. Susan Jeffers’ acclaimed self-help book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway is a suitable axiom for learning to befriend fear. Take inspired action in spite of your fears and don’t cower from them in resignation. Many people are helpless in the face of their fears, because they buy into the narrative associated with it. Fear is a signal, calling you to recognise something within that needs to be addressed.

We must remind ourselves that fear helps us make better decisions in light of perceived danger. We must have our wits about us, instead of throwing ourselves unknowingly at a task. Your response to fear provides a glimpse into your psyche. Are you constantly running away from fear or facing it head on?

What are you afraid of?

Who would you be without your fears?

What would life look like?

Try to imagine a world where you are not dictated by your fears. This is the state you want to create if you are to transform your life to be bigger and bolder. Colette Baron Reid affirms that: “If you want your fear to fade away and myriad possibilities you never considered to start revealing themselves, you need a different map, one that shows the unknown, unexplored places. Those are the places your soul wants to go.”

Fear is a call towards inner growth and freedom because running away from fear makes it grow in intensity. Approach it with compassion and an open heart by forgiving yourself and others who contributed towards your fears. You might be surprised to know that our fears can be passed down through generations. Wars and hatred stem from the paralysis of fear. We fear what we don’t understand, then we ultimately go to war with it.

Invariably, if we dislike parts of ourselves, this is a call to make peace within. As you know, what you feed and nurture inside you grows stronger. David Richo reminds us that love is the antidote to fear: “The reason love casts out fear is that love creates the feeling of safety. When we act with love, we feel so good about ourselves that courage blooms. We find the poise to be at home with givens that scared us before.”

Ultimately, you have a choice: make peace with fear or allow it to control your life.  Hopefully, you will be motivated to choose the former. Transcending fear is liberating since it frees you from the self-imposed fortress it creates. Fear cannot dwell inside a heart filled with love. For love is the essence of your authentic nature and fear is a nothing more than a shadow cast by the ego to protect you, not serve you.

2. Stop Surviving and Start Thriving
The Obstacle Is the Way

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.” — Maya Angelou

You are born to thrive, not just to play it safe in your comfort zone.

You might try avoiding failure because it weakens your self-esteem – although failure is a prerequisite for success. Ask any entrepreneur or adventurer, and they will tell you failure is essential. However, I do not wish to embellish this article with positive psychology to make you feel good.

For many, surviving means getting through the daily grind, only to endure the same battles all over again. This is not living because you are needlessly clutching to life. I realise you have commitments and obligations. Mouths to feed, expenses and a mortgage to pay.

Still, there’s a better way. You may want more, though life can be difficult and challenging at times. It’s worth reminding yourself, however, that the obstacle is in fact the way. Some people seem to be thriving under whatever conditions they’re faced with, while we wonder why we are stuck in our predicament. To thrive means to grow and flourish, not simply to scrape by. This is the premise of the film Groundhog Day, in which a weatherman played by actor Bill Murray, strangely lives the same day over and over again.

No one wants to get by when you have hidden potential waiting to emerge.

“You have everything you need to thrive; you just have to plan for the race of your life. Each person’s journey and process is unique. The key to adopting a disruptor’s mind-set is to honestly assess your internal value chain to overcome every obstacle in the way,” states author Jay Samit in Disrupt You: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation.

A Shift in Mindset

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” — Maya Angelou

Those who thrive nurture their personal growth and step outside their comfort zone. Those content to merely survive are happy not to disrupt their lives because of the anxiety and tension involved. You can use tension and anxiety to give rise to creativity and opportunity.

Thriving requires a shift in mindset and taking chances on occasions. The key to thriving is recognising you are unhappy and willing to make changes, irrespective of the steps involved. There is a staleness to surviving, in that you become wearied and discontent. Your soul calls you to venture into the unknown where freedom and good fortune lies.

“Survive first, thrive later: that’s the motto of the lower brain. The well-documented tendency of our lower brain to encode negative, fear-based memories more readily into our unconscious memory than positive ones is referred to as negativity bias,” affirms author Linda Graham MFT in Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being.

No one enjoys setbacks and mediocrity because the human spirit is full of potential and purpose. Life consists of constant change, for it is sewn into the fabric of our lives. To shift from surviving to thriving, simply begin by attending to your negative thoughts. Destructive thoughts can run deep into a person’s psyche if left unchecked. Replace the negativity by addressing the underlying beliefs supporting them.

You cannot move from surviving to thriving in days or weeks. Personal development is a journey of self-discovery and the pinnacle of achievement. You deserve to have more and be more.  But, you must take the first step and move forward in that direction.

Dr. Alex Lickerman reinforces this thought in The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self. “Indeed, the ability to soldier on when obstacles block our way to any goal, whether our life’s mission or our most trivial wish, has to be considered as much a part of resilience as the ability to survive and thrive in the face of adversity.”

Thriving Is a State of Mind

“Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All of these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill… I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work together…” — Marcus Aurelius

Don’t be concerned getting from point A to B in the shortest time. For as soon as you arrive, there will be another place for you to transition to. Take responsibility for your life by choosing your conditions, instead of blaming outside circumstances.

As you know, victims are stuck in a despairing mindset, believing the world owes them something. They contend life conspires against them, without realising they create their own circumstances. It helps to know what you want from life. I’m not talking about superficial things such as the car you drive or house you live in. Yet something deeper: your purpose, what kindles your spirit and makes you come alive?

I realise this is difficult for many to answer. Though it is important to know what is of significance to you.

“When in survive mode, thriving takes a back seat. Although many opportunities might arise for a shift to a positive thriving mode, the brain with this narrowed focus is incapable of registering and capitalizing on them; this is part of what keeps the negative vortex going. Negativity is therefore a self-reinforcing and self-fulfilling mechanism in the brain,” states author Shirzad Chamine in Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours.

Thriving is a state of mind in as much as surviving is a negative state of mind. Therefore, shift your awareness from negativity to what is working in your life. There is nothing novel about surviving. If you remain in this state for too long, your spirit contracts. This is tied to the deeper purpose for your life, regardless of whether you know about it. We all want to find meaning in our lives. However, if you do not make empowered decisions, you relinquish it to your unconscious desires.

“This old, struggling ‘you’ is not natural or ‘real’. Your higher self is the most natural ‘self’ for you to be. You were meant to thrive. But you’ll only find this out when you take action,” avows Steve Chandler in Time Warrior: How to Defeat Procrastination, People-Pleasing, Self-Doubt, Over-Commitment, Broken Promises and Chaos.

Take small steps without being fixed on the destination. Ultimately, your journey is one of self-discovery. The journey is filled with highs and lows. The lows help you to master yourself, so you gain lessons significant to your personal growth. As a final point, refuse to accept negative conditions being permanent. It was Charlie Chaplin who quipped; “Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.” Knowing you were born to thrive is motivating, since there is more to your life’s narrative than you presume. It involves merging into a grander version of the life you only thought possible.

3. Don’t Wait For The Perfect Conditions, Take Action Now
Career and Relationships

“Stop waiting for the perfect day or moment….take THIS day, THIS moment and lead it to perfection.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli

For many things, we wait around for the perfect conditions to go after our dreams. The problem is it sets us up for disappointment, stagnation, and failure. There’s never a perfect time or day. The universe comprises moving energy, so you can be moving and creating positive momentum, or you can sit still in stagnation. The choice is yours.

Authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan state in The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results, “Happiness is what we most want— yet, it’s what most of us understand the least. No matter our motivations, most of what we do in life is ultimately meant to make us happy. And yet we get it wrong. Happiness doesn’t happen the way we think.”

If you are in a career or a relationship you tolerate, but don’t appreciate, external factors control you and your hopes of a happy life. If you’re not happy, don’t you think it’s time to do something about it? Or perhaps you’ve tried to change your situation, to no avail. Perhaps, it’s time to try something different? You deserve a fulfilling life with a career and relationships you enjoy. Everyone does. If you’ve settled in areas in your life, due to other people’s expectations or societal norms, it’s time to take a stand and declare you won’t tolerate it any longer.

The American spiritual teacher Adyashanti says, “The keys to your happiness are no longer in anyone else’s pocket from the past. They’re in yours.” It is time to make a list of things you want and create action steps to propel you forward.

A Wonderful Life Is Available Now

“Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.”—Fyodor Dostoevsky

Most people want a happy life and seek ‘objects’ and ‘people’ to make them happy. Happiness does not arise from things and people, it comes from within. It requires cultivating happiness through the journey of life. It takes a season to slow down, contemplate life, face your pain, ask the hard questions and challenge yourself.

Consider for a moment Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener’s perspective in The Upside of Your Dark Side: “To put it succinctly, we humans are horrible at guessing how happy we will feel in the future, and yet we base important life decisions on these flawed predictions. We purchase TVs, plan retirement, and say yes to dinner dates all because of an imperfect guess about how happy they will make us.”

I assure you, a happy life is available to you now.

What Are You Willing To Do Different?

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”—H. Jackson Brown

If you want to settle where you are, I respect it, but don’t encourage it. Maybe you’re indifferent and offer the common phrase: “I’m fine” when asked how you are, but you’re miserable inside. You say you want a better life but you’re not willing to do anything different. You’re unwilling to travel a road you haven’t travelled before. You may be scared or tired. I understand, but you can do better. Everyone can, despite external conditions.

I’ve experienced periods in my life where I wasn’t happy. Not that I didn’t want to be happy, I didn’t know how to be. I knew how to keep pressing forward no matter what. I believed I could find happiness. Even though it didn’t come in the way I expected and might not show up the way you expect, yet there’s a wellspring of happiness within you. As soon as you acknowledge it, you’ll realise life has more to offer—even if nothing has yet changed in your life.

“Becoming more engaged in what we do by finding ways to make our life more meaningful is the surest way to finding lasting happiness. When our daily actions fulfil a bigger purpose, the most powerful and enduring happiness can happen,” writes Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. Stop waiting for the perfect moment to be happy or accomplished. Make your happiness a priority. Tell your partner, your boss, you friends, and your family you will change the situation, with the first thing being your perspective.

You will stop trying to meet other people’s expectations. You will discover who you are and a joy bubbling within you, waiting for you to release it. Today is the perfect day to acknowledge your success, your happiness, and your fulfilled dreams. You don’t need to wait for the right circumstances to happen. Life is what we make of it, so make your dreams come true. Beginning today.

4. Commit To Your Dreams, Regardless of External Conditions
Nothing is Permanent

“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” — Frank Tibolt

As you know success requires having a dream and creating an action plan that propels you towards them. But when you are on your path to success and feel stagnant or stuck in the same spot — what do you do then? How do you navigate your way forward when nothing seems to go to plan?

There’s an old song which echoes the lyrics: I Never Promised You A Rose Garden. When I hear it, I’m reminded of the sentiments in the song line that we are not promised optimal conditions throughout our lives. There is no Santa Claus handing out our desires on a silver platter. Life will never be as we hope for and we must come to terms with that. Things that we don’t plan for happen unexpectedly. Things don’t go as planned, and it’s important to know that despite this, we will be ok. Life is a wonderful journey despite the setbacks, failures, trials and temptations.

Author Mary O’Malley explains in What’s in the Way Is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life: “Everything in your life — especially your challenges — is tailor-made to help you see your stories of struggle. Whatever is in the way is the way!” Nothing is permanent except your thoughts about a situation. All things have a used by date. Even your struggles and pain have a finite life, unless you give them more energy than they deserve.

I recall speaking with a respected child physician when my nephew was hospitalised for pneumonia. He observed that children have amazing healing abilities because they don’t add meaning and context to their illness, like adults. While they feel lousy one moment, they bounce back just as quick, since they don’t ruminate on their illness which slows the healing process. We should take a leaf out of their book and step back from the chaos of our lives, so we can also recover quickly from our setbacks.

Growth Requires Perseverance

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold — but so does a hard-boiled egg.”—Author Unknown

I enjoy the statement: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Learning to dance in the rain should be our objective because if happiness and inner peace is what we want, it is still possible despite outward circumstances. In the statement, the rain symbolises trials, setbacks and frustrations. Therefore, don’t focus on what you cannot control, but lean towards what is within your power. It is about persevering through unfortunate circumstances and choosing to enjoy the present moment.

“Serenity comes not only from accepting what we cannot change but from giving up trying to be in control,” states psychotherapist David Richo in: The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them. Life is what you make of it. I’m not stating something new, but reminding you there are two ways of looking at your circumstance, yet we focus attention on what is wrong instead of what could be right.

It is about optimal growth.

Don’t Lose Heart

“The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Life is full of twists and turns, some of them contain unexpected situations where you struggle with: frustration, sadness, and hopelessness. Don’t be discouraged when they show up but learn to weather the storm. Things will not go as you expect, keep moving forward, anyway. “If you rise from a fall once, you become that much more confident you can rise again,” reminds author Sam Weinman in Win at Losing: How Our Biggest Setbacks Can Lead to Our Greatest Gains.

There will always be something not right with where you are in your journey. If you focus on what is right or what you’ve accomplished, your attitude will be better. You will be grateful and content no matter what surrounds you or how long it takes to achieve your dreams. You will be happy instead of disheartened.

Don’t lose heart.

Take Inspired Action

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” – Vincent van Gogh

Dreams are inspiring. Every person should have a dream to work towards. Besides, it is important to create an inspired action plan that will help you achieve your dreams. By inspired I mean pursuing a cause that means something to you. Take inspired action towards your dreams so you create momentum and move towards them. As you take the smallest step forward, your energy propels you in that direction, and the momentum carries you over the bumps in the road.

Founder of Mindvalley Vishen Lakhiani writes in The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On Your Own Terms: “Have big goals — but don’t tie your happiness to your goals. You must be happy before you attain them.” As you go to work, universal intelligence brings forth your desires and dreams. No matter the circumstances, inspired action should be taken so you are progressing. The right conditions to thrive and prosper reside in your thoughts, not in outward circumstances. If your attitude is in alignment with your dreams, you’re well on your way to accomplishing them.

Just Do It

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.”— Og Mandino

Is it taking longer for you to accomplish your dreams? Just keep taking the next step. Are you frustrated with obstacles and setbacks? Trust the process and the journey that is unfolding. It is leading you somewhere but not where you imagine. You won’t know until you get there, so for now release your worries, judgement and frustration and settle in for the ride. Enjoy where you are, on the way to where you are going. Take heart, knowing you will accomplish your dreams in due time.

Think of a garden. It’s important to have good soil to produce fruit, but the soil need not be perfect to bring forth a harvest. The same goes for you. Your life doesn’t have to be perfect or problem free to reach your dreams, or enjoy happiness now. Authors Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener remind us of this truth in The Upside of Your Dark Side: “Unfortunately, avoiding problems also means avoiding finding the solutions to those problems.” Focus on what is good and what is going right and continue to take inspired action towards your dreams. Afterall, just do it no matter what the conditions and you will achieve something meaningful owing to your commitment and perseverance.

5. Think Long Term To Overcome Temporary Setbacks
Hidden Lessons

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s easier to obsess over setbacks, than to try to play the long game when it comes to your dreams. After all, obstacles are real while the future is promised to no one. Disappointments have a way of overpowering you, however, they are just one aspect of your life. The key is to continually move forward and to not become caught up in your problems for too long.

You mustn’t allow what is taking place to overshadow your long-term plans. It was Henry Ford who said: “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” Like buried treasure, opportunities are hidden in your setbacks if you are willing to look hard enough. Once the anxiety settles, you come to realise the real account emerges.

Life should be measured in its entirety, not by your failures. If you’re lucky enough, you will live a long life. So, avoid giving too much attention to your setbacks, since you are likely to bounce back from them. That is, don’t overstate what is taking place. We have a tendency towards a negativity bias which gets the better of us. Yes, your setbacks may be real, but you will overcome them to the best of your ability.

“If you can remember to look at your long-term goals, however, it will help you put setbacks into perspective,” affirms author Amy Morin in 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. Move your awareness away from negativity and consider the long-term view. What could be taking place behind the scenes that you are unaware of? Is there is a hidden lesson contained within the setback?

Self-Control and Discipline

The value of adopting a long-term view is in not taking things too seriously because ultimately it will resolve itself if you are patient. You must develop a clear picture of your intended future, instead of focusing on the setback. Obstacles are part of every person’s life. Whilst they are difficult to deal with, they allow for vital personal growth for the journey ahead. You must adopt self-control and discipline to think long-term.

No one knows what the future holds, but if you have a purposeful vision of what it might look like, you can overcome your short term pain. “Failures, setbacks, bad luck, disasters; they are there to serve you, not hold you back. They toughen you up and drive you to improve. Frustration fuels growth. It gives you the energy and resolve to clean yourself up, get organized, fix what you can, and take the next step,” states author Larry Weidel in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success.

Long-term thinking helps you appreciate that things will improve and you are never trapped in your present circumstances. Time tests your inner resolve, your strength of character and your ability to withstand present conditions. Emotional growth occurs when you allow a situation to play out as it should. It is difficult to take a long-term view because our minds are not accustomed to think far ahead. We are conditioned to deal with what is taking place now and typically have a limited view of tomorrow.

That comes at a cost to our wellbeing, because if we follow this script we are constantly putting out spot fires instead of working on our dreams. To think long-term, develop an introspective outlook while reviewing your plans for the future.

Imagine Your Proposed Future

“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”— Confucius

Take action however small, whether it be things such as self-reinforcement, affirmations or visualisations. Success is found in the smallest details. In his book The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life, psychologist and professor at Stanford University, Philip Zimbardo, states there are six time paradoxes that shape our lives:

1. Past-negative

2. Past-positive

3. Present-fatalistic

4. Present-hedonistic

5. Future

6. Transcendental-future

If you wish to take an inventory of your time perspective, I encourage you to complete the Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory test online.  Based on his principles, your relationship with time influences every aspect of your life. So if you dwell on the past, you are less likely to appreciate the present moment and plan for the future. The key to long term thinking is to imagine your proposed future through the power of your imagination. Focus on the smaller destinations instead of the larger picture.

“You need to change your self-talk in order to shift the story you’re telling yourself about setbacks and adversity. You need to seek the insight or wisdom in challenging moments,” affirms author Adam Markel in Pivot: The Art and Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life.

Focus on the Long Game

There is always some action to take however small, to move you forward towards your dreams. Long-term thinking is something I’ve followed throughout my adult life. Whilst others excelled in individual areas and gained immediate results, I focused on long-term outcomes.

I experience setbacks and obstacles like most others, yet I don’t allow it to consume me. When I find myself stuck in a situation, I consider it a minor speed hump in what is a long journey. I enjoy author Whitney Johnson’s view in her book Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work: “As I have grappled with my own failures, and as I have watched others dealing with setbacks, I have observed several responses that seem to ameliorate failure, transforming it into a stepping-stone to future success.”

That is the framework of this entire piece — using your setbacks as a stepping stone for future success. It is what esteemed Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck calls developing a Growth Mindset. “Dweck says it’s difficult to maintain confidence in a fixed mind-set without distorting the world, such as acting defensively or blaming someone or something else for setbacks,” says Peter Sims in Little Bets: How breakthrough ideas emerge from small discoveries.

To overcome a setback, recognise it as a minor process in what is a greater plan unfolding. Deal with what is taking place by all means, but use the lessons to develop a Growth Mindset. I invite you to focus on the long game to achieve your dreams. That is where the fruit of your labour lies waiting for you to seize it, rather than dwell on your past mistakes.

The post 5 Ways To Fully Commit To Your Dreams So You Never Give Up appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

How To Keep Your Heart In The Driver’s Seat Without Letting Your Mind Hijack You

Develop A Strong Relationship With Your Heart

“Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World and it will one day return there.”—Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

“What must I do to attain holiness?” said a traveller.

“Follow your heart,” said the Master.

That seemed to please the traveller.

Before he left, however, the Master said to him in a whisper: “To follow your heart you are going to need a strong constitution.”

The strong constitution Anthony de Mello speaks of is knowing the language of your heart and abiding by its wisdom.

The mind is notorious for leading us astray due to a simple reason: We believe and act out our thoughts. And we’re not to blame, because the voices in our head are real.

However, thoughts are fleeting electrical impulses, while the heart’s wisdom is true and constant. It is the silent whisper of the soul that speaks without drowning out your thoughts.

“Thoughts are not necessarily facts. Most of the time they’re not even close,” writes Donald Altman in Clearing Emotional Clutter: Mindfulness Practices for Letting Go of What’s Blocking Your Fulfilment.

Many people are unable to make sense of The Language Of The Heart, let alone know it exists. But intuition is real and we’re only now beginning to realise how powerful it is when utilised properly.

Whilst I concede there’s a long way to go in understanding the heart’s inherent capabilities, one thing is for certain; the heart is the centre of all wisdom.

At the HeartMath Institute, research suggests the heart sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. Other biological processes known as Heart Rate Coherence represents a dynamic balance within the Autonomic Nervous System, so that positive emotions have a balanced effect on your mind and body.

The key is to develop an intimate relationship with your heart, instead of letting your thoughts steer you in a direction not of your choosing.

Have you noticed how your thoughts can sometimes lead you down a path of self-destruction? You wind up making wrong decisions because you trusted your thoughts were right.

Author Peter Francis Dziuban writes in Simply Notice: Clear Awareness Is the Key To Happiness, Love and Freedom: “If it ever seems as if thoughts are bombarding, sit back and calmly notice.”

The Silent Deadly Thoughts

“At the centre of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”—Lao Tzu

Those who are attuned to the language of their heart note how it speaks in silent whispers instead of drowning out their thoughts. The communication is encouraging and truthful without an agenda. Practices like meditation can help you to become more accustomed to the wisdom of your heart instead of the blaring thoughts in your mind.

Ultimately, it requires down the mental chatter to find peace and contentment within.

The heart is the seat of intuition and creative impulses while the mind is the seat of logic. However, logic is unable to delineate between non-linear dimensions and abstract information, since that is the realm of intuition.

To keep your heart in the driver’s seat means to tune in to the silent impulses of the heart. To do this, recognise your intuitive drives and act on them more often instead of dismiss them as insignificant.

The more you engage intuition, the more you will come to appreciate and trust it. Most people rush about their daily lives caught up in their thoughts or consumed by their external surroundings. They rarely take the time to notice what is taking place beneath their thoughts.

“Being in touch with your feelings” is often touted as a good thing, a way to ‘be in your heart,’ to live a life that balances the thinking part of you with the feeling part,” states Jan Frazier in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is.

If you go about your day stimulated by external noise and mental chatter, this is bound to create stress since there’s so much your body can handle.

“Paying attention to automatic thoughts is simply a habit we can change. When you shift into awareness-based knowing, automatic thinking moves into the background, and you experience true peace of mind,” says psychotherapist and author Loch Kelly.

We must be aware of our thoughts without being invested in them. When I talk about thoughts in this instance, I am referring to the incessant, habitual thoughts that take place in the backdrop of your mind.

These are the silent deadly thoughts that if not attended to can cause emotional and physical problems down the line. For example, you might have an unstable relationship with a co-worker that suddenly spirals out of control. Soon, you are ruminating on ways to sabotage your colleague or trying to avoid them altogether.

You might dwell on the situation more than necessary. After many weeks, the sight of this person causes physiological responses in your body, such as an increased heart rate, sweating or a dull feeling in the pit of your stomach.

This is a case I’ve seen too often working with clients unable to switch off their thoughts.

Donald Altman offers the following advice for recognising such thoughts: “On the other hand, what if you simply observed the same thought as nothing more than a mental sensation? In other words, suppose you viewed it as no different than a physical sensation — except that it’s happening in the mind?”

Develop More Of A Heart Based Awareness

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.”– Albert Einstein

As mentioned earlier, negative and positive thoughts create a physiological response in the body. If you are aware of it, your body will offer clues as to the truthfulness of your thoughts.

Much of the science behind this work was achieved by the late Dr Candace Pert, a neuroscientist and pharmacologist who said: “Your body is your subconscious mind.” Meaning, your body communicates messages from your mind in the form of sensations, impulses or pain. If you are attentive to these physical sensations, you are better equipped to direct your thoughts.

So what can you do to stop your thoughts hijacking you?

First, find time for silence. As little as five minutes a day to begin with is a good starting point. You may find initially that your thoughts overwhelm you, however with continued practice this will settle as your mind becomes accustomed to the silence.

Loch Kelly says: “Research showing that meditation reduces stress demonstrates that the stress is not caused by the external situations we usually blame, but is generated instead by the previous location of identity in our thoughts.”

Second, if you want to better understand your thoughts, journaling is a valuable exercise to notice the theme that underlies your thinking. The process of journaling helps you to transpose incessant thoughts onto paper instead of them dominating your mind.

So, in the earlier example of the heated exchange between you and your colleague, you might journal how you feel instead of ruminating on those thoughts. You may want to take it a step further and find your own solution to the problem. This way you become your own coach and mentor.

Through these exercises, you develop more heart based awareness and learn to trust your intuitive impulses. The key is to use logic and intuition interchangeably so your life’s experiences become a mind-body experience.

So, when an assiduous thought takes place, you notice it before it creates an emotional and physical response in your body. The more you engage in this practice, the less addicted you are to your thoughts.

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Life is a Blank Canvas Until You Decide What You Want and Take Action

We Live in a Holographic Universe

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” — Charles R. Swindoll

Life doesn’t know what it will become until you decide and take action. It is a blank canvas that awaits you to create itself.

I know many of you find this hard to believe, but you are a powerful creator.

It may not appear that way right now because you are yet to explore your full potential. Just as a Ford Mustang comes equipped with a powerful 5.0 litre V8 engine, it’s of little use if it sits in the driveway. It should be driven at full speed to appreciate its power since that’s what it was designed for.

Power is awarded to those who develop and nurture it. We are all Alchemists, yet our tool of the trade is not metal but something more influential; our thoughts.

The late American author of The Holographic Universe, Michael Talbot believed we are living in a holographic universe or simulation, as Elon Musk believes.

In Talbot’s book, he cites the work of the late physicists David Bohm and Karl Pribram, who performed research in this area.

The important principles central to the holographic model are:

You are a powerful creator because you are connected to everything.
You are part of a single Consciousness or Universal Mind.
The Universal Mind is all knowing, all powerful, all creative and present everywhere at the same time.
The universe comprises multiverses or parallel universes.

This leads to an understanding that the universe exists on multi-dimensions, meaning reality is not as fixed as once thought. This is empowering for many reasons, least of which because it means your thoughts create your life circumstances.

If you are unaware of your unconscious beliefs and programming, you are likely to attract a future that corresponds with these thoughts.

Author Bernard Roth writes in The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life that we must find our power through action, not simply trying: “When you do, you are using power; when you try, you are using force. In life, if you want to get things done, it is much better to be powerful than to be forceful.”

Reclaim Your Power to Create New Circumstances

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius

Have you noticed how often people who experience difficulties at every turn are confused as to why these events continue to show up in their life? In some respect they are not to blame because they don’t realise they create their circumstances according to their unconscious thoughts. It is only once they reconcile them and take life into their own hands that their circumstances change.

In a recent YouTube interview, the Canadian psychology professor Dr. Jordan Peterson records an interview with the English psychiatrist, Dr. Iain McGilchrist who states that he embraces uncertainty because it contains the seed of potential for creation.

Your current life circumstances reflect who you are but not who you will become, since that is open to change based on the holographic principle. It is an evolutionary process and you mustn’t consider life is doomed if things aren’t developing as you expect. It only looks that way based on your perceptions. However, when you upgrade your thoughts, you will experience a different reality.

So, if you’re unhappy with your current conditions it’s of no use complaining. I realise it’s easy to believe something outside of you is to blame. However, this is disempowering because if you want to fix the problem, you must regain your power to create new circumstances.

For example, if you consider your parents to blame for the conditions of your life, doing so robs you of your own power to change your circumstances instead of taking ownership of it.

“In life, typically, the only one keeping a scorecard of your successes and failures is you, and there are ample opportunities to learn the lessons you need to learn, even if you didn’t get it right the first — or fifth — time,” writes Bernard Roth.

The key is to become a conscious creator while making peace with the past, to integrate it into the wholeness of your being. That means, every unpleasant event is reconciled to see the perfection of your life’s narrative. That way, you create a new story for your upcoming future.

Decide on What You Want and Why You Want It

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” — John C. Maxwell

Life is miraculous because each day you start with a blank canvas and create your future anew. Through your moment to moment experience, you create the next moment which comes together to form your future.

If you are unconscious to the creative process, you relinquish your power to the mercy of life. Evidently, what shows up may not be in accordance with what you might choose.

That’s why it’s important to get clear on what you want and take purposeful action to create those circumstances. Those amongst us considered successful have a clear vision of their life.

They are purposeful beings who create reality according to their highest values and beliefs. Their life is an expansion of what they hold in mind and nurture daily.

Bernard Roth explains: “Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? Ask yourself each of these questions repeatedly and respond with whatever comes to mind.”

You have access to this same intelligence, it’s just a matter of harnessing it long enough to create what you wish to experience. I often say: it’s an inside-out job. Meaning, you must get clear on your blueprint for life first before it can manifest as your reality.

Sure, you can work hard your entire life trying to create the circumstances that will bring you happiness and fulfilment. However, there may come a point where everything you created is no longer appealing as it once was and a midlife crisis ensues. Regrettably, you may have spent decades building this reality only to have it fall apart.

Two of the biggest decisions you can make right now is to decide on what you want and why you want it. Take an entire year to get clear if you must and journal your thoughts. I assure you, spending 12 months of your life deciding what you want pales into insignificance compared to decades of pursuing something you realised you didn’t want after all.

“Make a pact with yourself to not use reasons unless you have to. This is actually an incredibly empowering position to come from. Be confident enough in your actions not to need to explain yourself. Trust yourself and act,” affirms Bernard Roth.

Once you decide what you want, the second part is the easiest yet the most challenging: take purposeful action every day to get closer to your envisioned future. If roadblocks and setbacks appear, go back to your blueprint, which you will have spent many weeks or months working on and consult it once more.

If you veer off course from the blueprint, what actions can you take to find your way back? An architect creates a schematic plan of a house so the builders know how to bring his idea to life and you must also do the same.

When you are purposeful about your life, the right circumstances and people show up to help you bring that plan to reality. But if you are not clear on your life’s vision, anything that sparkles or glitters will distract you and send you off course.

After all, life is a blank canvas whereby you are the master designer capable of turning it into a beautiful work of art.

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Stop Being Content With So Little And Reach For Something Bigger Than What You Have

You’re Not Meant To Play Small

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” — Confucius

There comes a point in a person’s life when their childhood dreams evaporate into a void, overtaken by the demands of everyday life.

If this describes you, there’s a tendency to play small instead of reaching for something more.

I experienced this early in my career where my problems consumed me to the extent it became part of my identity. You feel like a boxer pushed onto the ropes and your only form of defence is to retreat until you find the motivation to recover. Many successful people have been in this situation including J. K. Rowling, so it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Performance psychologist Stan Beecham writes in Elite Minds: Creating the Competitive Advantage: “Beliefs control biology, biology controls behaviour, and behaviour determines success.”

On some level, you know you’re not meant to play small. Part of you recognises your potential, but something stops you from achieving it. People struggle for years before finally realising the pain and disappointment is not worth it, at which point they give up. However, I encourage you not to not act impulsively and consider whether giving up is your only choice. Often, there are other options that may involve pivoting in a different direction to achieve your goals.

Research experiments on animals have observed that when their food sources are restricted, they stop scouring for food and give up. Their fatalist brain believes food is in short supply and they accept this outcome. We all do this and give up when pushed to our limits. Though, we develop our greatest personal growth if we stay the distance.

“Feel your urges, and push them back at least twice before giving in,” writes Peter Hollins in The Science of Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone: How to Live Fearlessly, Seize Opportunity, and Make Each Day Memorable.

You are only as strong as the level of your personal growth. To equate this in terms of a fitness metaphor, you are only capable of lifting weights proportional to the physical training you have undergone. If you train often, chances are you are you will lift heavier owing to your conditioning and dedicated training.

Your mental and emotional resiliency functions in the same respect, in so far as life’s challenges help you to develop resiliency.

Those Who Are Resilient Stay In The Game Longer

“On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Challenges and setbacks are not meant to defeat you, but promote you. However, I realise after many years of defeats, it can crush your spirit and it is easier to give up than risk further setbacks and disappointments.

To be honest, I don’t have the answers. I can’t tell you what the right course of action is; only you will know. However, it’s important not to be discouraged by failure when pursuing a goal or a dream, since failure itself means different things to different people.

“Growth comes at the point of resistance; we learn by pushing ourselves to the outer reaches of our abilities,” explains authors Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness in Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success.

To a person with a fixed mindset failure is a blow to their self-esteem, yet to a person with a growth mindset, it’s an opportunity to improve and find new ways to overcome their obstacles. Same failure, yet different responses.

Who is right and who is wrong?

Neither.

Each person has a different mindset that decides their outcome. Those who are resilient stay in the game longer and draw on their inner means to succeed.

I’ve coached clients who gave up after many years toiling away at their respective goal or dream. It was at that point their biggest breakthrough came. Perhaps all those years of perseverance finally paid off. It was the 19th Century’s minister Henry Ward Beecher who once said: “One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.”

No one knows what the future holds, so your only guide is whether you can endure repeated defeats and disappointments and still pursue your dream.

Consider the advice from the American academic and psychologist Angela Duckworth who writes in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance: “Many of us, it seems, quit what we start far too early and far too often. Even more than the effort a gritty person puts in on a single day, what matters is that they wake up the next day, and the next, ready to get on that treadmill and keep going.”

I know one thing for certain: don’t settle for less than what you’re capable of, but strive for something bigger.

Some of you reading this might identify with this message because it resonates with you on a deeper level. For others, at the end of their tether the message might be nothing more than a trivial pep talk.

What I wish to convey irrespective of where you are in your journey is: NEVER settle for less. If you settle for less, you will receive less than you deserve and convince yourself you are justified to receive it.

Develop A Powerful Vision Of What You Want

“Your problem is to bridge the gap which exists between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach.” — Earl Nightingale

I recall a passage my father often used growing up: “Don’t tell me your problems unless you’ve spent weeks trying to solve them yourself.” That advice has echoed in my mind for decades and became my motivator. Don’t leave it to others or outside circumstances to motivate you because you will be let down every time. It must come from within you.

Gnaw away at your problems until you solve them or find a solution. Problems are not stop signs, they are advising you that more work is required to overcome them. Most times, problems help you gain a skill or develop the resources to succeed later.

“The best form of confidence is the confidence that comes from achievement,” states author Larry Weidel in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success.

So embrace your challenges and develop the grit to push past them instead of retreat in resignation.

Where are you settling in your life right now?

Could you be you playing for bigger stakes than you are?

Are you willing to play bigger even if it means repeated failures and setbacks?

You should ask yourself these questions to decide whether you’re willing to put yourself on the line or settle for less. And that’s fine if you’re content to receive less, as long as you’re not regretful later.

If you have not achieved the success you deserve and are considering giving up, will you regret it in a few years or decades from now?

Only you can answer that, but you should carve out time to discover your motivation for pursuing your goals.

It’s a fact, if you don’t know what you want you’ll get what life hands you and it may not be in your best interest, affirms author Larry Weidel: “Winners know that if you don’t figure out what you want, you’ll get whatever life hands you.”

The key is to develop a powerful vision of what you want and hold that image in your mind. Nurture it daily and give it life by taking purposeful action towards it.

Vision + desire + dedication + patience + daily action leads to astonishing success. Are you willing to commit to this way of life or jump ship at the first sign of failure?

I’m amused when I read questions written by millennials on Quora who ask how they can become rich and famous or the next Elon Musk. Success is a fickle and long game with highs and lows. Similarly, there are no assurances even if you’re an overnight sensation, to sustain it for long, particularly if you don’t have the mental and emotional means to endure it.

Brendon Burchard states in High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way: “Be more intentional about who you want to become. Have vision beyond your current circumstances. Imagine your best future self, and start acting like that person today.”

This means you must rely on the one true constant in your favour: your personal development. The more you grow, the more you gain in terms of financial resources, status, success — simple. If you leave it to outside conditions to dictate your circumstances, you are rolling the dice on your future.

So become intentional on what you want out of life.

Commit to it.

Nurture your dreams.

Focus on your development and if you want to give up, know what’s involved before you take the plunge.

Because I assure you, someone out there right now is working harder than you, reading more books, sleeping less and sacrificing all they have to realise their dreams and it may contest with yours.

Don’t leave your dreams to chance.

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Why You Should Make It A Habit To Visualise Your Ideal Future

Visualise A Favourable Future

“Imagine your ideal future. Visualize yourself as if your life were perfect in every respect.” — Brian Tracy

It’s easy to focus on what is wrong in your life than trying to envisage a better future because your problems are real.

To imagine a future you can’t see poses a challenge. However, it’s worth devoting more time to visualise what you want to experience as I’m about to outline.

Before we proceed, I wish to render a caveat in case you dismiss this as another touchy feel good article. Visualisation without action is futile because mental preparation and inspired action are both necessary to bring to life your desires.

Visualisation is the seed fertilised in the mind, whereby action is the flowering plant that blossoms. One needs the other to manifest your goals and dreams.

I’m not articulating something new and apologise if you came looking for a revelation. Similarly, I can’t assure you that a new idea will change your life either. What I can offer is a message that highlights why visualisation is a powerful tool to improve your life.

It’s important to visualise a favourable future instead of focussing on circumstances that annoy you. Many people act impulsively without giving any thought to what they really want. They constantly think about what they don’t want and are disheartened when it shows up not as expected. This is because they haven’t devoted enough time or energy to get clear on their desires.

It was Napoleon Hill who wrote in The Master Key to Riches: “Mental attitude is important because it converts the brain into the equivalent of an electromagnet which attracts the counterpart of one’s dominating thoughts, aims and purposes. It also attracts the counterpart of one’s fears, worries and doubts.”

People spend more time than necessary observing what is wrong in their life instead of imagining what their ideal future could be.

Use Windows Of Opportunity To Bathe Your Mind

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.” — Carl Sagan

Hebbian Theory describes the mechanism for synaptic plasticity stating: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Brain cells that communicate frequently are strengthened through their connection. Messages travelling along the same pathway in the brain often become faster and more efficient.

This is beneficial for several reasons, least of which means what you give enough attention to is reinforced in the brain through its cellular network.

Therefore, if you give attention to what is unwanted in your life, those same cellular structures are strengthened and become efficient unless you change your thought patterns.

“Any idea that is held in the mind, emphasized, feared or reverenced, begins at once to clothe itself in the most convenient and appropriate physical form that is available,” states Napoleon Hill.

I realise this is easier said than done. It has taken me many years of practice and drawbacks to consider myself capable of directing my thoughts. However, through diligent practice and regular meditation, I am more aware of my thoughts instead of allowing them to control me.

Certain times of the day such as early mornings and late evenings can be conducive to visualisation since the mind is less agitated then. Think of these times as windows of opportunity to bathe your mind with images and ideas to create your ideal future. The right time of the day helps in nourishing your mind with the right impressions.

Likewise, if you are stressed, hungry or tired, try not to wrestle with your thoughts since you are unlikely to succeed.

“While a certain amount of vision is necessary, on the other hand it must be remembered that we are dealing with a power that is like the soil of the ground, which will produce the plant when we plant seed. It does not matter if we have never before seen a plant like the one that is to be made for us. Our thought is the seed and mind is the soil. We are always planting and harvesting. All that we need to do is to plant only that which we want to harvest,” wrote the founder of Science of Mind magazine Ernest S. Holmes.

Many New Age authors of the early 20th century spoke of the importance of visualisation, including: Ernest Holmes, Napoleon Hill, James Allen, Norman Vincent Peale, Wallace D Wattles, Neville Goddard and Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Even the great Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece spoke of training the mind to harness its potential. The most successful amongst us know that imagination is the strongest faculty of the mind.

Albert Einstein devoted many hours to conceive of intricate mathematical formulas. Author Walter Isaacson writes in Einstein: His Life and Universe: “How did he get his ideas? “I’m enough of an artist to draw freely on my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”

In a similar vein, it was the great Italian Renaissance genius Leonardo da Vinci who spent countless hours visualising his inventions before they came to life. Da Vinci referred to his visualisation process as, “sapere vedere” which translates to: “knowing how to see.”

Form A Mental Picture Of An Ideal Future

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.” — George Bernard Shaw

The power of imagination is a powerful mental ability to create one’s future. However, to take advantage of it you must devote consistent time and effort to develop your mental powers so it becomes laser focused.

The British philosophical writer James Allen wrote in As a Man Thinketh: “A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.”

Visualisation requires time, patience and diligence and is something world renowned creators and thinkers engage in often. They apply laser-like focus to envisioning an idea until it comes to life.

Prayer is a form of visualisation, so too are your words, so it makes sense to use your creative powers to visualise your future. It’s of no use bemoaning your current situation in the hope of creating a different outcome.

I liken it to travelling on a train headed in one direction before realising you want to go in the other direction. You notice a train approaching in the distance and decide to disembark in order to catch it.

And so it is with visualisation. Avoid giving your attention to what you’re unhappy with in your life. Do not talk or write about it. Rather, focus on what you want to create by setting aside as little as five minutes a day to visual it.

James Allen says: “A particular train of thought persisted in, be it good or bad cannot fail to produce its results on the character and circumstances. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.”

Many great thinkers used daydreaming to enhance their creative abilities. They sat in their favourite chair and allowed their minds to wander. Some took afternoon naps. In the moments preceding the nap, they visualised a scene or a problem and drifted off, awakening later with a solution. I often take regular naps in the afternoon and have noticed that my greatest insights arise following a twenty minute nap.

What you wish to bring to life should be first visualised and cultivated in the mind until it feels real. For the cynics, this is not positive thinking either, but redirecting the same mental energy you devote to your problems towards a better outcome.

Use the power of visualisation and emotions to form a mental picture of your ideal future.

It is often said we use ten percent of our minds. This is because we haven’t developed the understanding to create our lives via our thoughts. By harnessing the power of your thoughts, you can train your mind to focus intently on what you want to create and play with the ideas, perhaps changing them before they manifest into reality.

Take consistent action to support your visualisations. Remember, visualisation and right action work in harmony with one another. On their own, are merely a diluted fantasy.

Harness the power of your conscious and subconscious mind and you will undoubtedly create a powerful future worth living.

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Is The Pursuit Of Happiness An Illusion Or A Worthwhile Goal?

The Pursuit of Happiness

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller

The American author Henry David Thoreau once said: “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”

If we suggest happiness is an illusion that means it is impossible to achieve. Considering the suffering in the world, many believe happiness is an unattainable goal. It is remiss of me to solve this question in an article when religion and philosophy have tried to settle this dilemma for centuries. I can only reason that despite the suffering in the world, happiness is still attainable.

How is this possible you ask?

In underdeveloped countries inspite of poverty, happiness prevails when people’s basic needs are met. Contrast to the developed countries, daily life is more chaotic with high rates of stress and mental illness due to our demanding lifestyle.

To offer another opinion, the Canadian psychologist Jordan B. Peterson writes in 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: “In a crisis, the inevitable suffering that life entails can rapidly make a mockery of the idea that happiness is the proper pursuit of the individual.”

So, by focussing on the suffering in the world means losing sight of happiness as an attainable goal. In which case, it becomes a fleeting experience when your attention is directed towards it.

Many people believe happiness will transform their lives. Hence, the seeker travels far and wide in search of it, while all along it is contained within him.

Our hectic lifestyle makes happiness harder to attain since our minds are constantly preoccupied with something. Technology and communication devices vie for our attention and many people find it challenging to be alone in silence without a smart phone tethered to them.

I contend that happiness is achievable when we let go of unnecessary distractions. These include: toxic thoughts, habits, negative emotions, destructive relationships, unimportant commitments, etc.

By simplifying life, we create the idyllic conditions for happiness to thrive.

The teacher of spiritual self-enquiry Rupert Spira, explains in Being Aware of Being Aware that happiness is our core nature and cannot be gained, but expressed: “Happiness is our very nature and lies at the source of the mind, or the heart of ourself, in all conditions and under all circumstances. It cannot be acquired; it can only be revealed.”

If we direct our attention on the negatives of life, i.e. daily news, gossip & tabloid magazines, etc., we are drawn to what is wrong in the world, thus inhibiting the flow of happiness. You cannot read the tabloids without being fixated on the next ensuing drama. Our awareness should be channelled into worthwhile experiences which offer joy and happiness instead.

The notion that happiness is elusive stems from our inability to concentrate our attention long enough to experience it. If we believe happiness is unattainable, it becomes elusive since we have not created a conducive environment for it to flourish.

Reconnect With Happiness

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” – Anthony de Mello

Your beliefs shape your perceptions, which creates your experience of life.

Regrettably, many people drive happiness away because of their constant attention on external conditions. Therefore, suffering is inevitable when their needs are not met.

The need for evidence that the world is a dark and grim place makes happiness an impossible goal. Fear and hatred are broadcast into our minds every moment of the day, it’s no wonder it seems like an illusion.

Similarly, popular culture espouses that material possessions are the only source of happiness and fulfilment. If you don’t earn a seven figure salary or drive the latest European sports car and live in an affluent neighbourhood, you must be unhappy. And so the vicious cycle continues.

At the same time, many search for happiness through worldly experiences only to discover it has vanished from their lives when they return home. At this point they direct their interest towards gaining more ‘things’ or becoming involved in an intimate relationship in the hope it will bring them the happiness they long for.

Assuredly, the novelty wears off once more and they are back where they started—struggling to fill an empty void.

It begs the question, does happiness happen to us?—is it an externally generated experience, or a user generated experience?

If we subscribe to the belief that happiness occurs without our control, we remain at the mercy of it being a transitory experience. Conversely, if we believe we are the wellspring of our own happiness, it will present itself in our everyday life. This is empowering for several reasons least of which submits we become the source of our own joy instead of believing it is not within our own volition.

In his book Hardwiring Happiness, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson summarises how happiness can be attained by applying a four step practice, he calls H.E.A.L.

Have a positive experience
Enrich it
Absorb it
Link a positive experience to it (optional)

1. Have a positive experience: Hold the thought of a positive experience in your mind such the gratitude towards your partner, pet or family. Find evidence of an experience and focus on that.

2. Enrich it: Stay with the experience longer and feel it in your body. Notice it in new ways and experience the feelings as openly as you can. This is a mental exercise that requires training your brain to associate pleasure with your thoughts.

3. Absorb it: Allow the sensations you experienced in Step 2 to sink deeper into your mind and body. Allow it to become a cellular experience. For example, the sense of falling in love will be felt in your chest or you might experience tingling sensations throughout your body. Allow it to become a mind-body experience.

4. Link a positive experience to it (optional): While holding a positive experience in the forefront of your mind, find an association to a negative thought from the past. Shift between the two thoughts, however give more attention to the enriching experience while the negative ones gradually fall away.

To attain happiness, we must connect with our core nature, yet be able to find happiness in our everyday life. You will be surprised how inviting the world can be when you notice the smallest things that bring you happiness. It involves building a mental sanctuary leaning towards happy moments and pruning away undesirable experiences.

Allow the joy to come from within you, not without. It was the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius who said: “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

If you rush about your daily life, plugged in to electronic devices with little or no quiet time, happiness will pass you by like a high-speed train.

So make it a vow to integrate happiness into your life by noticing it in your everyday life. Reconnect with your child-like nature. Be curious towards the simple things in life and I assure you, happiness will not seem like an illusion.

The post Is The Pursuit Of Happiness An Illusion Or A Worthwhile Goal? appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

Your Purpose Isn’t To Meet Deadlines, It’s To Find Fulfilment Through Purposeful Action

An Inner Conviction To Help Others

“The difference between the dreamer and the doer is consistent, purposeful action.” — Jack Hodge

Chances are you are reading this article on a mobile device or computer with multiple applications open?

In fact, you’re probably thinking about the next thing on your to do list or contemplating a host of other things, without really being present.

We’re all guilty of it. Gone are the days of being attentive to the task at hand since our minds have become saturated with stimuli. We believe if we’re not attending to a million things at once, we’re not productive.

And sure, we blame technology for our blind sidedness but remember, behind every technological device lies a user in control of it.

For this reason, I don’t believe the narrative that technology is to blame because we should be in control. When it becomes a weapon used against you, then it rules your life.

It’s easy to be diverted from what is meaningful and be dragged into the rabbit hole of despair unable to find your way out.

You can be distracted by insignificant circumstances that vie for your attention if you don’t place a high value on what is meaningful. Purposeful action arises with an intent and an inner conviction to serve others or contribute to the world.

Author Victor J Strecher states in Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything that a strong purpose is tied to your understanding of the world: “A great purpose in life follows from values that reflect an understanding of the world.”

You are guided to help the community or play a bigger role in the lives of others because your purpose aligns with your core values.

For example, if you are affected by workplace misconduct, your mission might be to raise the awareness of misbehaviour within the workplace. You are driven by personal experience to change the culture of inappropriate behaviour. Your mission is aligned with your values and intent to serve and ease the suffering of others.

Distracted From Your Purpose

“When you do what you love, the seemingly impossible becomes simply challenging, the laborious becomes purposeful resistance, the difficult loses its edge and is trampled by your progress.” — Steve Maraboli

I can identify with a mission that aligns with my values lost my father to an illness decades ago. I recall in the years that followed asking myself a simple question that led to where I am today: “Why do some people get sick while others are healthy?”

I have been on a journey of discovery spanning a decade, learning about why some people get sick while others thrive. I wrote a book on the subject called The Power to Navigate Life and created a coaching program to support the book.

I learned many things along the way and helped countless individuals to heal and transform their lives, because they too were searching for answers.

“Purpose in life is concerned with what we most deeply value, and purposeful living is concerned with whether we’re living for what matters most,” explains Victor J. Strecher.

Fulfillment is found through purposeful action, not in meeting deadlines or having your head buried in your phone. These things distract you from your purpose and keep you entertained, neglecting what is important.

I’m yet to meet somebody other than an app developer or a person involved in the tech industry who is truly fulfilled spending hours a day on their mobile device.

I don’t intend to berate technology, but highlight how much time is wasted in mindless tasks that prevent you from pursuing purposeful action. I realise many people are scared to death to pursue their purpose, let alone realise they have one.

Purpose and purposeful action can be borne out of the same intention that aligns with your core values. Stealing time on a mobile device serves no one other than the manufacturer of the device and the telephone company whose profits you bankroll.

Motivational author and speaker Brendon Burchard says in High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way: “Often, the journey to greatness begins the moment our preferences for comfort and certainty are overruled by a greater purpose that requires challenge and contribution.”

Step out of your comfort zone and discover an intention that moves you in the smallest way. People believe purposeful action is aligned with a greater intent to change the world. It might or might not be. There is only one way to find out; take the first step.

Imagine Your Best Future Self

“Every person has a longing to be significant; to make a contribution; to be a part of something noble and purposeful.” — John C. Maxwell

I was watching Ice T being interviewed on Jimmy Fallon recently and was drawn to a phrase he lives by.

He said: “Don’t Guide Life, Ride Life.”

Whilst it is a simple axiom, it underscores the need to flow with the currents of life. They become disillusioned when it doesn’t turn out as planned and suffer as a consequence.

“Don’t Guide Life, Ride Life.”

To Ride Life focus on purposeful action because when you find something that rocks your boat, every minute becomes purposeful, even if you are struggling at first. For every writer and artist scrapping by, being creative far outweighs working in a job they loathe.

“Without courage, the adventure to genius and greatness can never even begin,” avows author Sean Patrick in Awakening Your Inner Genius.

I’ve coached many CEO’s and senior executives over the years who say they regret not pursuing their passions or owning their own business. Instead they are paid to pursue the company’s mission instead of focussing on their own. Yet, they are tied to this way of life in order to provide for their families and live a certain lifestyle.

Let me be clear, I do not condemn corporate culture in any way. These people are brave and courageous, yet some (not all) reach a point in their lives when regret sinks in.

I oppose putting your life on hold and not taking bold risks because of limiting beliefs or societal norms. These are trappings to have you conform and limit your potential.

Brendon Burchard says: “Be more intentional about who you want to become. Have vision beyond your current circumstances. Imagine your best future self, and start acting like that person today.”

My passion of writing, speaking in front of audiences and coaching amazing people arose from one question following my father’s passing. That question ignited a desire that took me on a quest and later became my calling. I often tell people I could never have dreamed this life into existence.

I recall speaking to year 10 students (equivalent to Freshman – High School in the US) late last year on how to discover their passion and purpose. A student stood up and asked how he could discover what he’s good at. My reply: “Fail often, learn quickly and never give up.”

The message from sports psychologist Stan Beecham captures the essence of life’s narrative: “Being happy is not the purpose of your life. Being fully alive and awake is the purpose of your life. That includes the pain and struggle that is a critical and necessary component to human existence.”

Keep trying until you have exhausted all avenues.

I assure you, whatever inspires you has been purposefully placed as the seed of potential within you, to serve the lives of others.

The post Your Purpose Isn’t To Meet Deadlines, It’s To Find Fulfilment Through Purposeful Action appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

8 Ways To Awaken Your Greatness And True Power

Greatness Must Be Nurtured

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” — Lao Tzu

To awaken greatness requires unearthing your potential that lies dormant within you.

Just as a miner who goes in search of diamonds and discovers the illustrious mineral, there are many who give up right before they strike it rich.

Giving up does not mean the diamonds don’t exist, for those who keep searching will eventually realise success.

So it is with greatness. You must continue the quest to unearth it because undoubtedly it dwells within you.

This article embodies eight key principles that serve as the foundation to awaken your greatness. Review them as often as you like. Let it be a roadmap to discover the treasured force within you.

Don’t believe you are less than capable of greatness. This is the biggest lie sold to mankind. Greatness exists within every man because you are born in the likeness of a greater intelligence that knows little of producing averageness.

The greatest men and women amongst us are those born with some level of skill, intelligence, intuition, creative ability etc. They have spent years, if not decades to cultivate that potential.

If you don’t believe me, consider the passage from someone who has studied world class performance for decades. Anders Ericsson coined the phrase ‘10,000 hour rule’ well before Malcolm Gladwell popularised it in his book Outliers.

He explains in Peak: How All of Us Can Achieve Extraordinary Things: “For more than thirty years I have studied these people, the special ones who stand out as experts in their fields — athletes, musicians, chess players, doctors, salespeople, teachers, and more. I have delved into the nuts and bolts of what they do and how they do it. I have observed, interviewed, and tested them. I have explored the psychology, the physiology, and the neuroanatomy of these extraordinary people. And over time I’ve come to understand that, yes, these people do have an extraordinary gift, which lies at the heart of their capabilities. But it is not the gift that people usually assume it to be, and it is even more powerful than we imagine. Most importantly, it is a gift that every one of us is born with and can, with the right approach, take advantage of.”

I hope this idea saturates into your mind over the follow paragraphs. Greatness must be nurtured, cultivated and exploited until it produces results. Yet, many people give up when the going gets tough. Challenges are nature’s way of pushing you to grow so you may develop the resources required to succeed.

1. Stretch Your Mind Through New Experiences

The mind must be stretched by new experiences otherwise it grows stale and listless. Most people live dreary lives doing the same repetitive tasks, day in day out wondering why the magic and spontaneity has vanished. They become habituated to this way of life without the freedom to explore their inner genius.

Authors Jeff Brown and Mark Fenske explain in The Winner’s Brain: 8 Strategies Great Minds Use to Achieve Success: “Some brains are more proactive than others. One of the best ways to take your use of memory to a higher level is by exposing it to as many new experiences as possible.”

We become familiar to the routines of everyday life and miss out on what is going on around us. To compound this, every person is tethered to their mobile device wearing it like a safety blanket.

Inspiration is closer to home than you think. It was the late Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People who wrote: “We become what we repeatedly do.” To stretch your mind, be open to new experiences beyond your daily habits and take notice of life with determined enthusiasm.

Instead of making excuses for the way life is, mould it into something you can become proud of. Perhaps your greatness has been dormant all these years, or needs to be roused. I assure you the moment you walk fearlessly towards greatness, it will run towards you with raging enthusiasm and show you the way. It will show you infinite possibilities to explore your potential in ways you never thought possible.

2. Overcome Your Fears By Making Peace With Them

Become curious in the face of your fears. Investigate them, reason with them but don’t buy into the narrative they espouse. Don’t let it be a one-sided conversation because you have the power to your fears. “Fear was given to us as a motive to avoid physical harm and death. That is it. We are the ones who have perverted it into a tool for the ego’s protection,” explains Brendon Burchard.

The secret to overcoming your fears is to approach them with curiosity while observing your reaction. So, if you fear asking your boss for a pay rise because they might say no, what small step can you take to overcome this fear?

“Fear, largely, is a waste of a good life, one of the most capable thieves of presence,” writes Jan Frazier in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is. Fear is an emotion, just like other emotions. Granted, it has a stronger intensity, but it is not intended to stop you, only to provide feedback on your actions.

Leverage your fears and you will discover the essence of your character. Assuredly, if you listen intently, there is a subtle message guiding you to surmount your fears. By listening closely, you come to understand the language of your fears. The more you know something, the better you are at taking inspired action to overcome it. Through a sense of wonder you’ll conquer your fears because for most people fear is a STOP sign. However, to the initiated fear is a PROMOTE sign, offering important clues about your inner psyche.

3. Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

“You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.” — Zig Ziglar

It’s no secret that optimal performance is gained outside your comfort zone. You seldom achieve success when you’re comfortable, because everything is familiar. There is little need to draw on your mental faculties when you’re in your safe zone. You must commit to taking bold risks if you seek to become the finest version of yourself.

To move beyond your comfort zone requires smaller steps to confront your fears, whilst managing discomfort. Learn to become comfortable with uncertainty just as elite forces like the Navy Seals are trained. It’s no surprise that personal growth is apparent beyond your comfort zone. In extending yourself, you celebrate your gains and accomplish new skills and emotional resiliency along the way.

That adaptability can work for or against you depending on your actions. If you remain idle, you risk rusting out, thus impairing your personal development. You can mitigate this uncertainty by reframing it as Stephen R. Covey avows, “Create an internal “comfort zone.” Then, when you get into the situation, it isn’t foreign. It doesn’t scare you.”

He is referring to creating an inner sanctuary when change overwhelms you. Within that space is the reassurance that what eventuates cannot disrupt what is familiar. Given life begins at the end of your comfort zone, what lies beyond your perceived security is far greater than your habituated environment. Life undergoes constant change and you must celebrate the challenging journey if you strive for a more enriching life.

4. Play Big In The Game Of Life

Play big in the game of life irrespective of fame, fortune or success. It is vital you honour your talents, resources and gifts to the best of your ability. It is incumbent on you to bring to life the best version of yourself regardless of your limitations. To be your best is an evolving process, yet the one true constant is that you improve without settling.

What you receive is proportional to what you believe you deserve. History has revealed less talented people who have achieved outstanding success owing to their commanding self-belief. Overcome your fears and push past your resistance. These two aspects alone keep you stranded because your life’s objectives become diluted, through the fog of separation.

Sacrifice is essential in any field where the prize is big. Nothing is gained by standing on the side-lines. Even time is a sacrifice when pursuing your passion. Those who play small, receive smaller rewards. Those who take risks with little assurances, are compensated owing to their enduring commitment. Life honours those willing to risk it all and play big.

You cannot lose in the game of life where lessons are learned and wisdom is gained. Success arrives when you least expect it, due to the hard work and tireless commitment to greatness.

Focus on what matters and allow everything else not conducive to your potential to fall away. If it doesn’t resonate with you, let it go so something better will fill its place. Overcome your fears and focus on what you can achieve. If you are pulled by your fears, you perceive life from a constrained mindset.

Trying to reach for the skies while lying on your back is not conducive to your potential. Get on your feet and make daily advances towards that which you seek. I urge you to think with the end in mind as the late Stephen Covey said if you wish to live a significant life. From that place you create an exceptional life using your talents, gifts and genius to serve others.

5. Discover Your Potential And Live It Fully

“Not everybody can be famous but everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

Every man yearns to express his potential through his life and work. The dictionary defines potential as: latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness. Potential evokes the impression of an idle car, roaring with possibility before hurtling down the road. It is the car’s engine and driver that decide the car’s speed. Yet, without someone to take control of the vehicle, there is little potential to speak of.

Regrettably, many people are held back by limiting beliefs, fears and doubts related to their potential. Left unchecked, these destructive energies perpetuate into a contracted self-worth. Whatever you buy into long enough and with enough conviction, forms your reality. You recognise potential within yourself foremost when you abide by your highest distinction. In doing so, it summons your dormant strengths and commitment toward greatness.

To cultivate potential, hold steadfast to move in the right direction, without becoming fixed on the path which leads you there. Potential must be obvious to the individual and is accompanied with passion and desire.  Make it a priority to nurture your strengths since passion and enthusiasm alone only get you so far.

An indomitable will, spawned by inspiration rouses potential. It is through dedicated focus toward a vision or dream that transforms desire into action since strong aspirations alone are insufficient. Whatever is possible is attributed to the mind that can conceive it. The realisation of your goals and dreams are constrained only by your limiting beliefs. They slow if not halt progress altogether, because the same creative intelligence that manifests your desires, also gives birth to your insecurities.

The power to unleash potential is overcome by rising above your obstacles, instead of being defeated by them. Potential is clothed in: hard work, an indomitable will, commitment and courage. To take a contrasting view, I equate lack of potential to simmering water that never boils given the heat has been turned down on it. To nurture potential, form a strong foundation to harness those gifts and nurture them as you evolve.

You cannot escape your potential any more than refusing to inhale oxygen from the air surrounding you. However, how you use that potential forms the foundation for life to express herself through you. Your task is to birth that potential by giving it life through: dedication, commitment and inspired action.

6. Find Your Passion And Purpose

Your life’s purpose is found through trial and effort. Purpose is found in action, not inaction. Your purpose may vary and may serve others as you evolve. Be mindful of attaching your purpose to your career as evident when one is made redundant, or the company downsizes. Many people describe feelings of emptiness following an unexpected change in their profession since they connect their purpose to their career.

The notion you have ONE purpose remains a misconception. There are many stories of successful people who have found innumerable callings throughout their life. Equally, many people are called to their purpose, while others uncover their purpose when they least expect it. There is no prevailing formula for finding one’s purpose. The key lies in the commitment to action and perseverance.

One must stay open to inner guidance — by learning to trust your intuition. Seek the advice of those who have traversed the path before you by studying the steps they took to uncover their purpose. As well-intentioned as family members are, soliciting their advice contrary to your views may work against you. Another way to overcome your fears is to pursue your passions which embody your inner most desires. You must bring them to life and overcome your fears, anxieties and worries.

Your passions are connected to your greater self that is not bound by fears or negative emotions, but inspiration. When inspiration and passion converge, it is akin to a matchstick thrown on dry wood resulting in a burning flame. One without the other are merely objects, yet when brought together they can set anything alight. Passion engenders courage because you are driven by a strong desire to realise a greater purpose than your fears. Passion douses the flame on fear and turns it into smouldering ash before it burns furiously.

Your passion equalled with inspiration must be accompanied with a compelling WHY. It is infused with a deeper meaning tied to your purpose with an intent to bring forth the gifts from your soul. So the message is clear: find your passion and be fearless in your pursuit of it.

7. Live Without Regrets

“Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, service and character.” — William Arthur Ward

Regret arises when you live less than what you are capable of. It signifies going against the tide of your inner wisdom, essential to your personal growth. Regret serves as a reminder your actions are not purposeful and a clearer intent is required. You must connect with a deeper motivation if you wish to live a life without regrets. This inner resource summons you to play bigger than what you have been.

Don’t hide behind excuses when life does not turn out as you hoped since you are likely to become a victim instead of a victor. That’s why you should be purposeful in your actions, instead of acting from a place of fear. When you take inspired action, everything unfolds according to a greater plan. The pieces of the puzzle come together as they should. The secret to living without regrets is to act intentionally with what is of importance to you.

If you are dictated by what popular culture considers important, you are not honouring your deepest wisdom, but following the masses. This is likely to result in regrets and uninspired action.

To live without regrets, pursue what you value most and fills your life with joy irrespective of what others consider. This does not mean your actions should affect other people though do not be dictated by what they consider important. People will disapprove how you live your life because it does not conform to their opinions. It may jeopardise their self-esteem since they have not taken action to follow their goals or dreams.

Similarly, people are afraid to try new things for fear of failure. When did failure embed itself in our psyche and stop us in our tracks? Failure is merely feedback, alerting you to something that requires more steps for completion. It should not impact your self-worth unless you allow it to.

Regret rears its ugly head when your actions are not aligned with your WHY. This is your underlying motivation clothed in a deeper purpose. Otherwise, you are likely to plod along and throw caution to the wind, hoping your efforts succeed. If it doesn’t, you experience regret and a blow to your self-esteem since you have not tied it with your intrinsic values.

Living in the present moment offers the opportunity to reconnect with what is important now. Life advances at a fast pace, it’s easy to lose sight of your inner needs until a major crisis appears. By then, it’s too late because the foundations that once held your life together have collapsed, taking your sense of purpose with it. To follow your inner intelligence, tune in to the voice of your inner self. This may be as: play, movement or any form of creative expression.

The child within wants to be heard. If you dismiss it because things out there distract you, you miss exploring what is vital to your joy and happiness. I invite you to look unfavourably on regret and live an intentional life. When you are aligned with something greater, there is no room for regret. Instead, purposeful action commandeers the helm to lead you toward a life replete with fulfilment and bliss.

8. Develop True Strength Of Character

Character is engraved within you and follows you throughout life. It encompasses your reputable qualities and is the bedrock of your existence. But character can be eroded if you do not adhere to your highest values when it matters. This is because it takes time to build the choices you make. Habits build character. Your actions correspond to the sum of your character and are formed behind closed doors, revealing yourself to the world.

Still, you must align your values with your highest good and the good of others, through altruistic actions rather than self-serving interests. To uphold your moral values is not enough. Abiding by those values so your actions are congruent is of greater importance. You must build a strong foundation upon which your character is formed. The person with a strong character is willing to upgrade their knowledge to become a better version of themselves.

True strength of character is reinforced by continuous self-improvement. You must widen your circle of development to encompass greater attributes, indicative of the person you wish to become. Self-improvement is developed through a Growth Mindset instead of a Fixed Mindset, according to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, author of the international bestseller Mindset.

The Growth Mindset individual appreciates character is a transformative process that changes over the course of your life, so it coincides with your greater self.

Strength of character is vital to pursuing excellence and is not tied to success alone, but connected to constant improvement. True character develops when it is expressed, yet it must be apparent within the individual for it to be known. The individual must discard their previous knowledge in light of new information. With more insight comes more freedom, leading to personal power.

Therefore, character is an ongoing commitment to uphold your highest values. Character requires maintaining integrity, where you act in accordance with your highest values and treat people alike irrespective of their race, religion, education, gender or political affiliations. Integrity is the cornerstone of character. A crack in one’s character is attributed to being inconsistent with their actions. French author André Gide wrote: “Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.”

Those with strength of character are honest and trustworthy for they stand by their word as the pillar of their existence. Strength of character is evident in those who have self-control and emotional intelligence. They are in alignment with their core values and stand by their commitment not to weaken their principles.

Self-control is related to acting in a way that does not jeopardise one’s character or moral values. Building character is a lifelong practice, so a momentary lapse of judgement can destroy it, where it took years to build.

True character is shaped behind closed doors since you cannot tell a great deal about a man until he is tested. Yet, in solitude he forms the bedrock of his character and shapes it like a blacksmith forming steel. For it was the late Dr. Wayne Dyer who once said: “What other people think of me is none of my business.” It is the opinion of yourself that is of importance and the foundation of your strength of character.

The post 8 Ways To Awaken Your Greatness And True Power appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

The Power Of Awareness: How To Cultivate Mindfulness In Your Everyday Life

No Longer Trapped In Your Thoughts

“Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.” — Jon Kabat-Zinn

Even though it was the Master’s Day of Silence, a traveller begged for a word of wisdom that would guide him through life’s journey.

The Master nodded affably, took a sheet of paper and wrote a single word on it: “Awareness.”

The visitor was perplexed. “That’s too brief. Would you please expand on it a bit?”

The Master took the paper back and wrote: “Awareness, awareness, awareness.”

“But what do these words mean?” said the stranger helplessly.

The Master reached out for the paper and wrote: “Awareness, awareness, awareness means AWARENESS.”

Anthony de Mello’s amusing tale highlights how something we take for granted, has a powerful affect in our lives.

The single biggest impediment to happiness and fulfilment results from an impaired awareness. Many people scurry about their daily lives absorbed in their thoughts, processing memories of pain and regret or expecting a future to arrive as they hope for.

They are not alive to the present moment but living in their thoughts. Suffering and pain ensues because they believe their thoughts to be true.

Author Jan Frazier states in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is that we must redirect our attention away from external events to within: “If you want to lead a more peaceful life, the primary focus should shift from external events to the inner, as a general practice.”

Awareness is the experience of consciousness functioning in the backdrop of our lives. It asks nothing of you other than to engage it often.

People associate self-awareness to being awake which means not asleep at the wheel of life. When you are awake, you are no longer trapped in your thoughts but recognise they come and go from your mind like ocean tides.

“Paying attention to automatic thoughts is simply a habit we can change. When you shift into awareness-based knowing, automatic thinking moves into the background, and you experience true peace of mind,” states psychotherapist and author Loch Kelly in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness.

Programmed By Past Conditioning

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness.”— Jon Kabat-Zinn

I’ve had the pleasure of coaching hundreds of people on mindfulness based awareness through simple habits. Most are corporate executives and CEOs who spend a lot of time processing thoughts to make effective decisions.

Yet, the process of thinking does not mean you know where your thoughts are leading you. Of those I work with, many of them notice the same theme throughout their minds. They feel as though their thoughts are thinking them instead of being in charge of their thoughts.

Can you relate to this?

This could be attributed to a lack of awareness of their thought process. It doesn’t mean one must be mindful of every thought, instead you notice the main themes of your thoughts throughout the day.

“Awake awareness can “know” something without referring overtly to thoughts, but it can also use thought when needed,” explains Loch Kelly.

For example, when I’m tired late in the evening or following strenuous exercise, I notice my thoughts are more scattered than usual. I am mindful not to make major decisions at those times since I am not functioning at my best.

Have you noticed how some people can push your buttons at times because they know you have a tendency to react?

Similarly, do you make impulsive decisions at certain times of the day when your willpower is depleted?

Research shows that willpower depletion correlates with a drop in blood glucose in the brain. We are more likely to make mistakes at those times, particularly as it relates to nutritional choices.

It was the Greek philosopher Socrates who said: “Know yourself.” He was referring to knowing oneself at a deeper level beyond your superficial likes and dislikes.

Knowing yourself means being mindful of the nature of your thoughts before they become emotional reactions. The science is clear, many of your choices originate in your subconscious mind. However, they must have first past through your conscious awareness, considered the gatekeeper of the mind.

The subtleties of everyday life such as the music you listen to, the people you associate with and what you read online, can leave a suggestible impression on your subconscious mind.

“The subconscious is a powerful part of who you are and its job is to keep you in the familiar even if it doesn’t work anymore. Your awakened choices are made with present-moment awareness. They are conscious choices,” affirms author Colette Baron Reid in Uncharted: The Journey Through Uncertainty to Infinite Possibility.

In a sense, your subconscious mind and your actions are the result of your biology, past conditioning and your environment.

Meaning Making Machines

“Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.” — Thích Nhất Hạnh

To cultivate mindfulness in everyday life, be aware of your surroundings. Keep your thoughts in the present moment instead of ruminating on the past or future.

An exercise I ask my coaching clients to do involves taking a walk in nature and notice what is taking place around them, without adding a narrative to it. This means not being distracted by their mobile phone device or other thoughts.

Constantly processing thoughts inhibits mindfulness, yet awareness notices everything and registers it in your consciousness.

Loch Kelly says: “One of the most important things to learn is how to separate awareness from thinking, and then we can see that thoughts and emotions are not the centre of who we are.”

I ask my clients to leave their mobile device at home and avoid creating a mental dialogue of what they see. I tell them to experience their surroundings through their senses instead of trying to add meaning to it.

For example, you might see other dog owners playing with their pets. Instead of creating a mental dialogue, simply experience it through your nervous system.

Your awareness recognises the gender of the individuals, their height, weight, facial expressions and a thousand other things, yet your mind interprets it to make sense of it. It is for this reason humans are meaning making machines.

Whilst it’s good to make sense of your surroundings, you can become stuck processing your experiences instead of experiencing what you see.

Rupert Spira writes in Being Aware of Being Aware: “Peace and happiness are not, as such, objective experiences that the mind has from time to time; they are the very nature of the mind itself. Happiness is our essential nature, apparently obscured or eclipsed much of the time by the clamour of objective experience but never completely extinguished by it.”

Allow Your True Essence To Emerge

“Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that—thoughts.”— Allan Lokos

Another exercise I ask my clients to do is one you can try yourself. It involves closing your eyes and picturing a yellow lemon.

What does the lemon look like?

Is it big or small?

Is it sitting on a table or floating in thin air?

Can you taste, smell or notice anything else about the lemon?

Simply observe what you see, yet avoid creating a mental dialogue of the scene.

People find this exercise easier as a glimpse into practicing mindfulness, because when your eyes are closed, you witness your thoughts without judging what you see. The more you practice these exercises, the more familiar you become exploring mindfulness in everyday life.

The post The Power Of Awareness: How To Cultivate Mindfulness In Your Everyday Life appeared first on Tony Fahkry.

Why The Smallest Steps Towards Your Goals Become Giant Strides Of Momentum

Don’t Quit But Readjust Your Plans

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” — Jim Rohn

There’s a great deal written about goal attainment nowadays, I don’t wish outline those in this article. Rather, I wish to focus on how daily action, irrespective of its size compounds into greater momentum.

The problem or solution whichever way you think of it, is that you have set a goal to realise by a specific date. I use the word problem or solution concurrently because from your current position your goal can be viewed through two perspectives.

However, one thing is for certain, you must move forward towards your goals irrespective of what is encountered along the way.

Angela Duckworth highlights this idea in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance: “As any coach or athlete will tell you, consistency of effort over the long run is everything.”

The journey to reach your goals is seldom easy, in fact it was never meant to be easy. If part you believes this, I challenge you to confront the belief and investigate it further. Perhaps you are setting lofty goals or ones that are easily attainable.

The purpose of goals is the personal growth experienced along the way. I’m not suggesting the final goal is of lesser importance, yet were it not for the growth that takes place, the goal is meaningless. It is the joy of the experience and who you become while pursuing the goal that makes it worthwhile.

“If you leave your growth to randomness, you’ll always live in the land of mediocrity,” writes motivational author and speaker Brendon Burchard in High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way.

To quit when the going gets tough is taking the easy way out, readjusting your plans however should be your primary focus. Abandoning your goals is akin to flying from one destination to another when your plane is unexpectedly stranded at a stopover. As a result, you return home instead of finding an alternative route to your destination.

And yet this is what many people do in terms of their goals. They give up when the going gets tough because they lack the confidence in themselves to find a solution, or are frustrated overcoming the obstacle.

However, that is the purpose of goals. To find new ways to reach them, gain new skills and discover more about yourself.

Find Ways To Motivate Yourself

“We are the creative force of our life, and through our own decisions rather than our conditions, if we carefully learn to do certain things, we can accomplish those goals.” — Stephen Covey

Goals require constant motion and making informed decisions explains author Larry Weidel: “If you want to win, you have to keep moving forward. To keep moving forward, you have to keep making decisions.”

To achieve your goals, establish firm habits as a framework to support you reach them. Without good habits you are being controlled by external conditions and your internal world.

I’ve coached many hundreds of people who say they experience a loss of inspiration while pursuing their goals. Successful people are like you and me and therefore prone to feeling unmotivated from time to time. The difference however, is they have a strong framework of habits to fall back on. They don’t contemplate giving up or changing their goal, but will adjust their route to get there.

Angela Duckworth says: “But the important thing is the idea itself: Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.”

Consider an author who wants to write an 80,000 word novel and encounters periods of being unmotivated. They know if they miss a day of writing, they will fall behind their deadline and soon enough their publisher will be on their back to complete the novel.

Whilst projects and deadlines are good motivators, they can sometimes work against you depending on your motivational type. So if you respond favourably to deadlines, as long as you have sound habits in place, you will likely stick to your goals.

“The trick to success is to choose the right habit and bring just enough discipline to establish it,” is the advice from authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results.

You must find ways to motivate yourself, knowing conditions needn’t be optimal to tackle your goals. That is, you may wake up feeling tired or with a cold or flu and still pursue your goals, anyway. That’s why sound habits are important, especially when you are less inclined to pursue them.

For example, when writing one of my earlier books I made a plan to complete one thousand words per day, in order to finish the manuscript in less than ninety days. However, there were days when life got in the way and I missed writing due to other pressing matters. Yet, through good habits I made up for it in the ensuing days by writing two thousand words or more.

A strange thing happened as a result. The momentum of my habits pulled me along and within sixty days I completed over ninety five percent of the manuscript. I was ahead because my habits forced me to focus on the task instead of being dictated by external factors.

At the saying goes: “Easy to do, easy not to do.”

Create Sound Habits And Stick To Them

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” — Zig Ziglar

In a similar vein, the advice from Gary Keller and Jay Papasan is one that should be followed earnestly: “Getting extraordinary results is all about creating a domino effect in your life.”

I recall years ago when I was coaching clients with their health goals, many were frustrated setting goals with a specific end date. To their way of thinking, the goal seemed difficult to reach because there was a gap separating their desires from where they stood.

Most times, the client had not formed habits in this area and it was my task to help them create the right habits to reach their goals. They were surprised when I set a plan that involved walking around the block twice in the first week and increasing it over the coming weeks.

I imagine they were looking for a magic nutritional formula, specific exercises and supplements to achieve their goals, yet it was much simpler than that.

I wanted to first create sound habits they could stick to until it became second nature. It required focussing on building a solid foundation in the initial stages.

When they were secure with their habit, the momentum was like a wheel rolling downhill; it gathered enough energy to keep it moving.

I liken it to consulting with an architect when you plan on building a new home. In the initial discussion, they are unlikely to discuss the fittings for the kitchen or bathroom since that comes later on. It involves agreeing on the designs for the foundations and framework first, then the rest will follow.

“Success is actually a short race — a sprint fuelled by discipline just long enough for habit to kick in and take over,” affirm authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan once more.

That is the key principle of this article. Smaller steps become giant strides of momentum if you keep moving forward towards your goals. If you stop or quit, you must find the motivation to start again and create new habits from scratch.

Quitting is not the answer, however adapting your plan should be the aim if you wish to reach your goals.

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