S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 98

Review of “All the Bright Places” – A Must Read for all on this Site

This book is so important. So, so important. I loved it, then I wasn’t sure I loved it, then it ripped my heart out and made me sad, and now the story won’t leave me and I find myself wanting to tell everyone about it.

The themes of the book were – Mental Illness, Mental Health, Grief, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Young Love, Coming of Age, The Future, Fear and Suicide.

These are such important topics, and I’ve never read a book with these topics being so real before. It showed me a few things, and made me feel a deep sense of understanding. So please read this book if you have suffered from one of the above themes, and if you feel like you’re misunderstood or alone in the world. And please, please read this book if you’re ignorant to the affects of such themes on a person’s life.

One man’s “freak” is another man’s best friend.
Life is full of twists and turns, and even when the most awful, awful things happen, life must go on and if you’re open to it – life can be good again.
Sometimes someone is in a lot of pain without you realising it.
Male and females both have to deal with difficult emotions, and it’s not fair to expect males to hold those toxic feelings in till they implode.
Sometimes pain brings two hurt souls together.
Sometimes we can help people by simply listening to them and being their friend – given “broken” people a chance.
Even if only one person in the entire world cares about you, then you’re pretty lucky.
The world doesn’t have to be black and white and wrong or right. You can view the world however you want to and make something beautiful out of it.
Your imperfections will be beautiful to someone else. There’s someone out there who will love you and accept you and understand you in ways you don’t do so yourself.
As long as you have dreams, then the future will never be as bad as you think it will.
People who don’t care about your well-being aren’t real friends.
Give people a chance.
Don’t give up on those who are difficult to understand – they need it most.
Adults and authority figures are tough to understand and appreciate – but they have our best interest at heart.
Take the help that’s offered to you.
Never keep secrets from people, if you feel something deeply or painfully or are unsure, then let it out. Tell someone. Seek help.
There is always a way out. Suicide may take the life of the person doing it, but it also ruins the life of those left behind. Please, seek help and reach out to someone – anyone.

 

Again, please read this book. Please learn from it.

Seek Understanding. Seek Peace.

The Christmas Countdown full of Teasers!

 

Get the first book now!

A Long List of Mental Weaknesses & Mental Strengths – Are You Weak or Strong?

Signs of Mental Weakness/Weakness of the Mind:

Poor relationships
Unable to empathise
Doesn’t care about others
Jealousy
Compares self to others
Hides from problems
Ignorance, with no intention of fixing that
Doesn’t know who they are
No sense of style
Doesn’t do much
Stressed a lot and often
Controlled by their emotions
Too many negative thoughts
Doesn’t show emotions
Not honest – with themselves or others
Says they want change but never do anything
Been exactly the same for many, many years without changing or growing at all
Afraid of what others think of them
Uncontrolled, unrecognised, or hidden anxiety, depression or other mental health disorder.
Spend recklessly
A hoarder
Poor acceptance skills
Negativity bias
Overly Positive bias
Doesn’t like to share
Poor social skills
Beat themselves up/Bully themselves
Avoid things
Poor diet
Poor fitness
Poor immune system
Poor view of change, failure or disaster
Can’t make decisions
Stuck in the past
Always thinking of the future
Holds grudges
Built up anger
Easily irritated
Can’t sleep
Sleeps too much
Can’t eat
Eats too much
Says “no” too much
Lives in a poor or displeasing environment
Hates their job, but does it anyway without trying to change it
Tries to hurt other people/bring them down or laugh at them (bully)
Thinks they’re always right
Won’t listen to good advice from others
Doesn’t engage in culture, pop culture, or other cultures of any kind
Doesn’t have a hobby
Doesn’t have fun
Doesn’t try to be creative
Doesn’t have any passions, drive or purpose
Speaks of death or suicide
Gives up easily
Never focused
Easily offended
Abrasive
See kindness as a weakness
Rude

 

Mental Strengths/ Signs of a Strong Mind:

Taking responsibility
Always bettering oneself
Seeking knowledge
Reading
Knowing who you are
Strong relationships with others
Caring about others
Understanding, or aiming to understand, the connection of mind body and spirit
Good diet
Fitness
Good work/life balance
Passions
Purpose
A mixture of relationships – friends, family, colleagues, pets, gym buddy, acquaintances etc.
Knows how to have fun
Has a hobby
Loves oneself, not in a narcissistic sense
Has a sense of style
Understanding the role of suffering in life
Not a negative person
Not overly positive, to the point of fantasy
Can admit when they’re wrong
Listens to others
Open-minded
Problem solver
Critical thinking
Good decision making
Puts health first
Not afraid to show emotions
Confidence in who they are
Doesn’t let their emotions run wild
Doesn’t change on the judgement of others, and doesn’t pass judgement either
Care for other cultures
Thinks on what they consume – TV, books, travel, blogs, people etc.
Controlled, recognised or open anxiety, depression or other mental health disorder that you’ve accepted or work on coping with/elevating
Healthy immune system
Resilient to change, failure or disaster
Balanced, calming home space
Comfortable in themselves
Knows what they like and don’t like

Good for you if you read all the points on the lists, and even better if you’ve considered each one in terms of your mind/life. It’s OK if you’re thinking that you seem like you’ve got a weak mind as opposed to a strong one, I’d say that it’s the same for most of us! This is what this website and my YouTube channel is all about. We’re seeking new and exciting ways to strength our minds. So if this interests you, stay tuned. Subscribe and follow.

Together we will get stronger, all it takes it time and action…

Seek Peace.

Siana-Rose Crawford – YouTube Channel

 

Christmas Deal on My Books!

All my books are on offer during the festive season, so bag yourself a copy and one for your friends too!

If you love fantasy, mystery, romance, Young Adult fiction, coming of age, dark, urban, contemporary and paranormal reads then my series is for you! Packed full of intrigue, powerful characters and differing points of view during an immortal world war…

Or – if you need some support this winter, or want to better manage your life then why not try my self-help book. People have said that it has helped guide them to understanding themselves and moving forwards with their struggles.

£2.35 for the eBook versions of each one.

£10.90 for the paperback of “No Secrets: Remastered”

£9.40 for the paperback of “Bloodstained Betrayal”

£3.99 for the paperback of my self-help book.

So cheap, so good – don’t miss out!

No Secrets: Remastered here

Bloodstained Betrayal here

From My Suffering: 25 Ways to Break the Chains of Anxiety, Depression & Stress here

 

“The Rest of Us Just Live Here” by Patrick Ness – A Surprisingly Real Read…

With the Christmas deals, Amazon had an offer of 3 books for £10 so I bought quite a lot, due to the reading spree that I’m on right now. When I bought this book, “The Rest of Us Just Live Here”, I didn’t expect to love it as much as I did. And I didn’t expect to finish it so fast, considering it’s not as short as the other books I’ve been reading. But I devoured it. It was everything I like in a book – Young Adult fun teen life; fantasy and a story with a purpose.

What was the story’s purpose? Why am I telling you about it? Because it touched on mental illness and growth.

What it taught me:

It’s OK to have gone through something awful and scary, because with good people supporting you, you can rise above it.
Be who you are.
You’re never the least-wanted person in a group; stop thinking low of yourself because you’re almost always wrong!
You don’t have to be “the chosen one” or the big hero to have an extraordinary life full of love and fun.
Do what you want and do what you love.
Work hard and fight for what you want.
Just try it…and see what happens in “the way of exploration”.
Mental health issues DON’T define you.
It doesn’t matter how weird or unique your talents are – use them, love them and own them!
Always speak about how you feel, even if you cry or if your voice shakes when you do it.
Keep a goal in mind, no matter how big or small, and strive for it.
Parents are complicated, but deep down they always love us.
Family doesn’t have to be blood relatives.
Get help when you need it, be that medication, therapy, friends or family – whatever you need to live your life.

Read more. Learn more. Seek Peace.

My Trip to Italy! I Finally Made My Dream Come True…

Me and my younger sister took a 5 day trip to North Italy, staying in Verona and travelling to Vicenza and Venice for day visits.

And it was incredible.

I loved the architecture, the ambience, the history and the food. I could definitely see Italy being my go to holiday destination.

I want you to appreciate that this was an amazing trip for me because I’ve always wanted to go to Italy, but also because it did what the book I’ve just finished reading said – “the world has been let loose for me now”

…

I feel like anything is possible because I have been to the place I always wanted to go. I’ve written at the Canal in Venice like I’ve been dreaming about for as long as I can remember. I did it. And so I believe I CAN DO ANYTHING, despite setbacks and fear of the unknown.

Travel opens your eyes, as I said about Budapest. But my mind has confirmed it now! This time last year I was depressed. I was feeling like a failure and as though nothing would ever be good or work out for me.

But a year later, I’ve had the best year of my life and my perspective has completely shifted.

In short, the trip helped me realise…

My heart raced and my stomach churned as we flew and then landed in Italy; finding our AirBnB was so scary and I cried once we were there because I felt overwhelmed and scared of the trip. But I stayed…
Not knowing what we’d eat was awful, food being a central focus with my anxiety. But we ate, we figured it out, and we loved it.
Not knowing where you’re going, how long it’ll take or who to ask for help because they barely speak your language and a lot of the time they don’t look like they want to help. But we figured it out, we reached everywhere in the end. We did it.
I have Seasonal Affected Disorder, so once it gets dark and grey I generally get more anxious and less happy…but we were out in the dark, enjoying beautiful sunsets in this amazing country. And now that I’m back, my SAD has weakened.
I felt open and alive when seeing such beautiful sights that I’ve never seen before. And knowing that my anxiety would have prevented me from seeing it all if I’d allowed it, made me feel strong, and recognise that my anxiety need not control my life.
Things become memories all too quickly -so enjoy the beauty of now, before it’s too late.
The feelings of sadness and depression slithered away because I felt like the world was suddenly beautiful again. I felt excited to wake up, a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. We all need to remember what it feels like to be excited about life again.
We read loads. I finished the first big-ish book in a long time just whilst on holiday which is a great self improvement step for me.
I was grateful to be there.
I know that in the future I can keep going despite being scared. I can do what I need to do.
The meaning of life is simply this – to live as much as you can until your heart is full, your soul is enlightened and your mind is fully open…

So from this I believe I have a big tip for you. Feel like you’re bored with life? Then travel. Sad too often? Travel. Want to die? Travel. Feeling angry? Travel. Anxious about everyday life? Test yourself and travel! Going through a life crisis? Travel. Depressed? Travel.

Be scared, cry, shake, throw up – whatever you have to do…but TRAVEL ANYWAY!

Please, for your own good.

Seek More. Seek Adventure. Seek New. Seek Peace.

1 in 4 people in Birmingham will experience mental health problems

The mental health charity, Mind, say that unemployment is one of the main causes of mental health problems. The uncertainty caused by this, along with the possibility of impending debt can cause ad…

Source: 1 in 4 people in Birmingham will experience mental health problems

Book Review of “The Little Prince” – Valuable, Thought Provoking Life Lessons

After having watched the film on Netflix, I have finally read Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s “The Little Prince”. Sadly, I don’t know how to read or speak French – the language that it was originally written in with the French author – but I read the translated version and loved it.

It’s such an easy read. Whether you’re an older adult, young adult, teenager or child, everyone can enjoy this book – and probably each take something different from it. I think that I’m at the right kind of age to have enjoyed the book for two very different reasons.

I loved the whimsical charm of the whole thing. The narrative was excellent because they were trying to entertain and teach us a very valuable lesson at the same time. The valuable lessons were these…

Growing up takes away our view of what’s important.
When we’re young we can laugh at imperfections.
Children question the “odd” things that grown ups do all the time, and they’re right to!
It’s OK to drift through, because at some point you will land in the right place and it will teach you what you need to know to go forwards in life.
Curiosity, charm and playfulness is the key to happiness.
When it comes to matters of the heart, there is nothing to be seen, only things to be felt.
Sometimes things are bazaar and that’s OK.
Always seek adventure, and conversations with strangers.
Sometimes the craziest of situations, even the horrible situations, lead to something magnificent and teach us valuable lessons.
Animals and children have an inexhaustible magic that we grown ups have sadly lost sight of, but must rekindle.

“The Little Prince” is a short but beautiful read so I encourage anybody and everybody to get a copy and get reading! I’m still on my reading spree and it’s fantastic.

I hope you guys are reading too. Not only is reading good for your brain and health, the stories also teach us something that no other thing can. So soak up their riches.

Seek Peace.

The Disaster that is Expectation

Expectation is the worst. When you get an idea in your head, or worse a mental image, and it’s so perfect and lovely and you can’t wait for it to happen…but then it doesn’t. That’s the worst. But let’s be real here, isn’t that our own fault? We let our imaginations run wild and got our hopes way up there that it was sort of inevitable that we were going to be disappointed. So this is why I strongly urge us all to ween ourselves off expecting anything…

Having too many expectations, or always wanting things to be as you imagined them to be, is a sign of mental weakness. People with strong minds and a strong understanding of the world, knows that you can’t control how things turn out; you can’t have things go the way you want them to all the time and oftentimes the universe surprises us. Understanding this is crucial. Once you let go of control and worry and imaging every little thing, you can begin to enjoy what is, not what could have been.

This is overthinking. This is anxiety. This is control-issues. This is infantile thinking. This is a fantasy. And you can’t live that way.

Overthinking and expectation will, at some point:

Put a strain on your relationships
Make you think negatively
Cause you upset
Take away from the now
Cause avoidance
Ruin

But how do we stop? Those of us who overthink are probably not doing it on purpose, right? So here’s a few ways of helping you stop the overthinking, expectation cycle:

When you find yourself thinking or picturing an upcoming event, stop. Physically say to yourself, “I shouldn’t do this.” And instead force yourself to be in the moment. Really listen to whoever you’re with. Or listen to music consciously. Go for a walk. Read a book. Even watch TV. Just keep your mind busy on something else.
Remind yourself of the last time you expected something or pictured a situation differently to how it actually was. Write it down. Describe that situation to yourself and most importantly, remind yourself of how it felt. I hurt when you expected your boyfriend to buy you flowers but he didn’t, right? Even though you had a lovely day with him, you couldn’t help being upset because you expected that he’d get you flowers. Well what did you gain from expecting the flowers? Nothing. All you did was ruin a perfectly great day and make your boyfriend out to be a monster when he’s not! Remind yourself that every time in the past, it has only hurt you, in whatever way, when you expected something.
Be mindful of when your friends or loved ones speak about times they expected something. How you laughed or said they were silly to think that way…well, so are you!
Try to turn the situation on itself when you get disappointed by and feel limited by expectation and overthinking. How would I feel if someone expected me to do something but I didn’t do it even though I didn’t actually do something wrong? Well, why am I blaming them then? Or, I’m pretty sure I can’t read minds or predict the future so why am I trying to? Or, worrying and imagining won’t change the outcome, it hasn’t before and it hasn’t for anyone else I know either. Be logical.
If you find that the thoughts just keep flowing, then write them down. Then later I want you to go back and read them and realise how ludicrous it was to think that. Don’t beat yourself up, but just write down and say to yourself that this thought didn’t help you and it was very inaccurate.

In simple terms, be reasonable with yourself and others. The mind is powerful but it can not make something happen by picturing it enough times! All you’re doing is stealing yourself away from the present moment and potentially ruining the real perfection of an event when it does eventually happen. So practice what’s listed above and ween off the expectations.

Seek Peace.

The Cost of Feeling Good

I love to live by the rule “look good, feel good”. It just works for me. If I’m having a particularly bad day, I force myself to glam up a bit and it often lifts my mood. But I’ve been thinking lately about the cost of feeling good. And I mean feeling good in the broadest sense of the word.

Clothes – of course this is the first one. As I said, we often dress up to try and feel good, but it costs so much to go on a shopping spree that it’s just not doable all the time.
Spa Day – I love massages and calmly sitting in hot water with next to no clothes on. The role of spas is to encourage rest and relaxation but spas aren’t cheap. For a massage, you’re looking about just under £20, if you find a deal. And spa usage afterwards is a fee on top. For drinks and food when making a day of it, which of course you must stay hydrated, that’s even more!
A Night Out – with the sexy outfit, the pre drinks, the taxi, the club entry, the rounds when you’re there, and then the taxi home, a night out just isn’t cheap unless you have really wealthy friends.
Treat Yourself – whether it’s a new toy or nice food, whatever we buy in the moment that makes us feel good at the time, often brings on it’s own cost; be that money-wise or a cost to your health.
Working Out – A gym membership is often the go-to for working out, but they just cost too much money. Then there’s the good attire and appropriate footwear on top…
Vices – I’ve briefly mentioned this but often we feel good by doing something naughty, whether that’s smoking, drinking, one night stands, drugs, gambling…it all comes at a big cost if abused.

So what do I say to all that? I’m supposed to be encouraging you all to feel good, not putting you down, right! Well here it is:

Clothes – to feel good, you don’t have to necessarily buy a new outfit. Rummage through your wardrobe and pick out the clothes that are nice or that you haven’t worn in a while or think are too fancy for an average day – and wear them proudly instead! Turn those heads!

Spa Day – hint that you’ve always wanted to go to the spa and see if a special someone in your life buys it as a gift for you. I’ve bought my mother plenty of spa days, which she greatly appreciated. Also, just save up. Maybe you go just for the spa one day. And another time you go for a massage. Or, and this is the great way around it, invest in a foot bath, foot massager, massage cushion etc. so that you can get your relaxation at home!Once they’re bought, they’re always there for use. Even be cheeky and get a free massage from your family member and then hop into a lovely warm bubble bath.

Night Out – at the end of the day, the night’s out you share should be with good friends. If you just can’t get out, then have a wicked night in with the gang. You can put on a film, have a nice chat and share a bottle of wine (or whatever you preference is). That way it’s more intimate anyway. You can have a laugh, drink as little or as much as you’d like and dance around even, but it’s just cheaper and safer too.

Treat Yourself – treats come in all shapes and sizes and with all kinds of price tags. Treat yourself to a cheaper option. Or simply treat yourself by simply doing something you wouldn’t usually do, or taking yourself on a date with some well needed TLC.

Working Out – I bet you guessed this one, but working out at home is a more cost effective way to stay fit and get those endorphines going. Even if you can’t afford an exercise bike or weight of your own right now, they are a good investment in the long run. Watch an online video to get some inspiration of what to do.

Vices – vices don’t fix problems, if anything, they cause more problems. Therefore, please seek help to reduce the use of such vices, and fill the void with something healthier. When you feel like a smoke, go for a walk. When you need a drink, meet up with a friend (and don’t drink too much). When you want meaningless sex, speak to your family or seek another thrill.

Sadly it does seem to cost us to feel good, which is why a lot of people choose not to. But if you do your research and are serious about feeling good, then find ways to do it on a budget. Always find news way to feel good.

Seek Peace.