S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 35

Life & Content Update: As of September…

Hey guys, just a quick check-in and update…

I’m back at work now and so busier than lockdown, duh! I am very anxious, to be honest. No one knows how things are going to work and how successful it’ll be. Plus, I feel like I’m still the new kid, still in a state of discomfort and unknown. So that, on top of “post-pandemic” disaster…it’s a lot.

But alas, back to work I go and I’m sort of happy about it. I think the routine of staying at home is getting to me more than I realise. Plus, I want the anxiety of not knowing if this job is right for me to go away. And the only way it goes away is by doing it. Doing the thing. So let’s go, September, show me what you got!

What does September mean for me and my content?

Less posts and podcasts Little-to-no social media Less self-help and self-development content consumption Preparing for my second year studying at The Open UniversityFinishing off the first draft of my WIP

So, I can’t predict the future but I do want to be kind to myself and not force myself to do more than I can handle, especially not at first. So if that ends up meaning no content at all for September or especially October, then so be it. Though, I doubt it.

Everything I’m doing (or not doing) is to protect my mental health as I know how overwhelm and overconsumption and stress can affect me.

I love you all for even caring to read or listen each week, so I just wanted to let you know in advance so that you’re not confused.

I’m not gone. I haven’t given up blogging or podcasting, but I might be taking a break.

Speak to you again soon. Please take care of yourselves. In the meantime, I have loads of old content that you’ve probably not read, so have a peruse! Use the search bar at the bottom for topics of interest.

Ciao for now!

Sincerely,

S. xx

Cultivating a Lifestyle-Based Mindset (podcast)

Today’s podcast is talking about focusing on who you are and what you choose to do today. Not big goals and to-dos, but who and what you choose in each moment.

I’m covering habits and consistency, while reflecting on the fact that who we become and what we do in life always comes back to choosing health and happiness first.

It’s about cultivating a vision of who you want to be, then choosing a part of that to be and do right now and every day of your life.

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/cultivating-a-lifestyle-based-mindset-mindset-managed.m4a

xx

Afraid to Return to Work

I know I’m not the only one returning to work soon, and so I thought I’d share my anxieties and helpers to help you feel less alone in your feelings.

Routine again

One of the annoying and hard to deal with parts about going back to work after so long off is getting back into a work routine. Waking up at a certain time and being ready to leave at a certain time.

I’ve been waking up at decent times every morning, but not quite as early as I usually would for work. And this week leading up to going back, I’ve been waking at the right time to sort of train myself to get used to it again. And it’s been hard!

So my advice would be to use these days (or weeks, whatever) leading up to your return to “train” yourself back into a routine so it’s not so much of a shock.

Responsibility

I’m a little worried about the responsibilities I’ll have again. I’m a Teaching Assistant so I am responsible for vulnerable kids. This is fulfilling but hard work at times. To be doing that again while frazzled from so long away (not to mention that I hadn’t been doing the job for long before lockdown anyway!) is very scary.

The only thing helping me with this is that my colleagues are there for me to confide in and get help from. We are a good, lovely team and so leaning on your colleagues (not literally!) and battling it out together is the best thing right now.

High Energy

The next worry of mine is that a school environment and my work in general is very high energy. As an introvert, I don’t deal as well with high energy situations and lots of people as well as extroverts do. This is fine; that’s life. However, doing this suddenly after 5 months mostly spent at home is very overwhelming.

Before working in a school, I worked in retail, so I was used to people being everywhere all the time! But now…not so much. I’m scared of feeling exhausted and losing myself.

The only way to deal with this, I think, is to be kind to yourself. Take times out to breathe in the hallways or step outside for a walk in break times to get that space. I’ll be bringing along my breathing techniques, stretches, and mindfulness to keep my calm and to rejuvenate, too.

Less free time

There’s, of course, the fact that we were sort of blessed with more free time and space, but now it’s going to be gone again.

But I’m trying to remind myself that you make time for what you want and need and enjoy. I’m lucky to work from 8-4, so I have a decent amount of time in the evenings to do things that I’ve been doing in lockdown: writing, reading, yoga, workouts, studying, time with the partner and dog, etc.

If you focus on the lack of time, you’ll feel sad. Instead, focus on the time you still have and how you can use it to your advantage.

You may feel tired after work, a lot of us do. But there are tasks or ways to organise your time so that you can still be productive and do things you enjoy on the evenings. i.e. I think I’ll do yoga as soon as I’m home as it’s something I enjoy, it’s good for me, and it energises me to then get going on studying or writing.

Safety

Of course, we are all a little nervous about the procedures and how our workplaces are handling the virus. For some reason, I’m less nervous about this than the other things. I think it’s because I know I’m a clean person anyway. I’m vigilant and that’s kind of all we can do. Protect ourselves and others, and hope that they do the same.

If you notice anything that worries you, speak up. Put your safety (and health in all ways) first.

Expectations

Lastly, I’m afraid of the expectations being placed on me at work. Being thrown into the deep-end, as it were. This may be out of our control, but we can make sure to communicate with our boss about feeling overwhelmed or confused. They should know that right now is an odd time and should sort of allow for a gentle transition back into the thick of things.

And try not to expect too much from yourself the first week, too. I’m not. I’d like to, in time, do workouts before work but this first week, I’m giving myself grace and compassion and going easy. As long as I’m going to work, performing, and coming back not feeling too sad, too anxious, too tired or too hungry, I see that as an accomplishment!!

So I wish you all a safe return to work. Stay safe, try to find the good, and may our end to 2020 be positive!

Take care.

Sincerely,

S. xx

Why Everyone Needs to Watch Black-ish

My partner and I have been re-watching Black-ish, and every time we do, we are reminded of its unique power and importance. Black-ish is a comedy that doesn’t shy away from getting deep and real about life, specifically for black people in America. And no, it’s not just the obvious things. If you’re not black, you might be surprised by the many things that are different, or worse, or important simply to the culture of black people, as explained on the show.

So here are some reasons why I love it and why you need to watch Black-ish too!

Emotions!

I’ve cried (or came close) watching so many episodes of Black-ish. Why? Because it’s not afraid to tug on your heartstrings with profoundly moving monologues about life as a black man. About black history. About life in general. If you don’t cry at injustice and inequality, then maybe this show isn’t for you.

Free Education

You will learn so much from this show. Bring a notebook with you if you have ever wanted to learn about black history but didn’t know where to start. American history, black history, the justice system, all of it is found here in detail in just 20 minute episodes!

Hard Conversations

As I said, this show doesn’t hide away. It doesn’t tiptoe or briefly mention things and then walk away like other shows. It goes all in, guns blazing, not caring if you’re uncomfortable. Because you should be. Uncomfortable conversations are important. Vulnerability is important. It bridges connect and opens a dialogue for understanding, empathy, and progression.

It’s hilarious!

Granted, Dre (the main character, the father) is a bit much. Actually, he’s totally EXTRA and it can get annoying! But you know why when you watch the show, because he’s the one causing the drama, as well as demonstrating the importance of speaking out and speaking up, yadda yadda…

But he’s also so funny. There isn’t one single character (maybe the twins?) who stands out, it’s just the family dynamic that makes you laugh and cry in one episode. You laugh at Charlie, Dre’s work mate and co-black guy in a white office. You laugh at the ridiculous but sadly real stereotypes and comments that his ignorant colleagues make.

You just laugh, I promise! As heavy as the show many sound from this post, it’s not. It has a magical way of balancing the heavy stuff with humour without being too much or too insensitive. It’s masterful!

Topics they cover that are important:



Colorism



Juneteenth



Systemic racism



Institutional racism



Homelessness



Postpartum depression



Ageism



Kids coming of age



First period



Going off to college (or not)



Classism



Poverty



Mass Incarceration (and what happens when you get out)



Father-son relationships



Black history (duh!)



Gun ownership



Diabetes



Therapy



Homosexuality and marriage

Representation and Black stories

And lastly, you need to watch Black-ish because it is a show that has given a home to black actors, writers, and stories. They have clearly allowed the cast to actively participate and tell their own stories. From young to old, poor to rich, all walks of life come together to tell important black stories that tug at the heart.

We need more and more shows like this, so that young people can grow up seeing themselves on the screen looking beautiful and important and being heard! I love Rainbow’s (the mother) and Zoey’s (the oldest daughter) hair and clothing style. It inspires me and you don’t know how important that is unless you are Mixed or Black, too.

It’s so important, so yeah, let’s keep these stories on the screen.

Check out Black-ish on Amazon Prime (UK) or wherever you can get it. Trust me, it’s worth your time.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

S. xx

How to Finish Writing a Story to the End: Not Falling Out of Love

I’m writing this post as someone who hasn’t finished writing a whole story to it’s end since November 2018. You could say I’ve been in a bit of a writing rut. But in true, this sounds extreme when you consider that I have started and written many other stories in those two years, just not to completion, though.

But if you’re someone who wants to be published or wants to make a living as a novelist, you do sort of beat yourself up for writing stories that go unfinished. And finishing, I’m sure you’d agree, is the hardest part.

Here are some ways to ensure that you finish writing your W.I.P (Work in Progress) to the end…

Commit

You have to treat your story like a long-term relationship. You have to actively choose it everyday. You have to choose not to give in to the temptation of new exciting stories. You have to commit to it through the bad and the good.

This means saying that you will keep writing to the end no matter what. Even if it’s the wrong ending. Even if it’s bad writing for chapters upon chapters. Even if you would rather write something else. Proving to yourself that you can finish a story is a powerful and important part of being a novelist. It doesn’t matter if you never return to that story again; writing to the end is it’s own reward and teaches you so much along the way.

And don’t worry, you’re totally allowed to take some time to write down ideas for another story. But you’re not allowed to write it; not yet!

George R. R. Martin says finishing a story is the best skill to learn. Victoria Schwab says we shouldn’t get distracted by shiny new ideas as they only come along because you know the story you’re writing so well that you feel “bored” by it; but you’re probably not, you’re just familiar with it.

Remember why you started

Remind yourself regularly of the reason why you loved that story in the first place. Sometimes amidst the plotting and structure, we forget about the essence of the story that made us want to write it to begin with. So, we need to remind ourselves often.

Whenever you hit a wall or fall out of love, grab your notebook or open an app on your phone and force yourself to write out 10 reasons why you love the story and wanted to write it. Even if these become repetitive, it can really help us focus the story, as well as keep writing it with passion.

Character convos

Check-in with your characters often. Ask them questions. Check that they’re making the right choices. Character-driven plots are my favourite. If I like a character, I’ll like a book no matter what. So, you should like your characters, and so should your readers down the line.

Doing character work can help your story to be better but also help you to want to keep writing. You find out new things about them and it makes you excited to demonstrate that in the story.

Plot check-ins

Check on your plot, too. Don’t charge ahead with a plot that’s not working just because that was the original plan. Dare to detour and do what the characters want if that suits better and makes you (and therefore your readers later) feel excited.

It’s okay to take a brief moment to analyse the story so far and where you’re at character-wise, plot-wise, and story-wise. Resist the urge to edit, though, if that’s not your process. You can make notes for edits later, but this is just about getting an idea of where you’re at and where you still need to go. This can help you to move forwards feeling clearer.

Discipline and Dedicated Time

The last point is perhaps the most obvious: you need to be disciplined. Writing novels isn’t easy, otherwise everyone would do it. Generally, we as humans are natural-born storytellers. That’s why Linda at work can’t stop talking about her weekend, as if it were an epic novel! But what sets aside the novelist from the everyday person is the discipline and dedication to keep returning to the page and getting the words out.

There will be days when you just don’t feel like it. Days when the words are coming one every five minutes. But sitting down to do it is the hard part. Usually, once you start, something gets written in the end (even if it’s only 100 words, it’s 100 more than yesterday!).

The key is to give yourself permission to write poorly. A first draft isn’t supposed to be Harry Potter-good (in fact, you’ll never be Harry Potter-good, which isn’t a bad thing; it’s freeing!). Instead, allow yourself to write a shoddy first draft. That’s what revisions are for. In the editing stages, you can polish that turd and make it shine!

So, m’dears, just write. Get it wrong. Fix it later. But just write, damn it!

Best of luck!

Sincerely,

S. xx

You Are Solely Responsible for your Goals & Happiness (podcast)

At the end of the day, we are responsible for who we are, what we do, and how we feel. Others come along and affect us, but how much that affects us in the long-term is solely our responsibility…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/you-are-solely-responsible-for-your-goals-happiness.mp3

xx

20 Things to Adopt in Your Life for Peace and Joy

I wrote a post about 20 things to let go of in your life to feel lighter and happier. Now, here are 20 things that from adopting them in your life, you will feel a deeper sense of peace, happiness, and joy, too.

Balance
Forgiveness
Presence (being in the here and now)
Being open-minded
Being wrong
Saying Yes or No firmly without explanation (boundaries)
Allyship
Curiosity and experimentation
Flexibility and adaptability (Resilience)
Self-awareness
Self-knowledge
Understanding
Empathy
Listening deeply
Connection and compassion
Communicating yourself appropriately
Focusing on what’s important (essentialism, minimalism, less F’s given)
Self-made metrics for success and happiness
Caring for yourself properly
Self-trust

That’s my 20 things that are important to cultivate in your life if you want to feel more peace and joy rather than anger, anxiety and upset.

 

Take care.

Sincerely,

S. xx

List of 20 Things to Learn to Let Go Of

It’s really easy to feel a lot in just a day, never mind a week, month or year. We humans are thinking, feeling, complex creatures who deserve a great deal of compassion for all that we go through and carry with us throughout life.

But what if I said we have the power to choose to lighten our load? That, if we truly want more peace, happiness, and freedom, we simply have to learn how to let go?

But what do we let go of? Here are 20 things to let go of from now on (through choosing to in each moment)…

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Expectations
Perfection
Letting fear guide you
Jealousy and Comparison
Control
Grudges
Defensiveness
Have tos
Hate
Validation
The Need to be Right
Being busy
Timelines and deadlines
Labels, categorising and fitting into boxes
The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
Overconsuming (information, food, content, social media, etc.)
Old beliefs that don’t serve you (or others)
The past
The fantasy of the future
Complaining

There you go, some ways to ensure you feel lighter and freer in life by just letting it all go…

Take care.

Sincerely,

S. xx

Getting Serious About Who You Want To Be (podcast)

Most of us who care about self-development or who are ambitious and have big goals will have an image of who we want to be. Of what we want to do and what our ideal future will look like.

But how do we get from here to there?

In today’s podcast, I’m considering this idea and talking about how to get serious about your goals, while focusing in on your WHY.

Ask yourself: What energy am I bringing into this? Why am I really doing this?

A weak reason why makes for a fragile foundation for going after your goals in life.

Instead, we must find our resolve. Find our inner reason why which drives us forwards, keeps us going, and never lets us stop.

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/getting-serious-about-who-you-want-to-be.mp3

xx

100 Little Things to Be Happy About

This list started off as 50, then 75, then 100! I’m sorry, I just love lists so much!

It can be so easy to slip into complaining or worrying about things not being the way we want them to be. But every day, there are hundreds of little blessings being sent our way which we are missing.

Take your time to read this list and refer back to it when you’ve forgotten to smile about the little things in life – which are, after all, rather big…

How excited your dog is to see youSmell of porridgeNapsOpening a new bookThat click of your back when you get a good stretch or twistCandlesA morning showerPixar moviesAmazon parcel deliveries“I know right!” aka vibing with someoneThinking up a small poem randomly in the dayForehead kissesSeeing your momFreshly cleaned bedsheetsLying on someoneRunning full speed down a clear pathFreshly washed, dry towelWord gamesSeeing your grandparentsThinking of something and randomly smiling to yourself (hopefully this list does that for you!)FlowersWriting listsDancing to your favourite songSinging to your favourite songYour childhood cartoonsYour pet’s head resting on your as they sleepSomeone special playing with your hairMassages on your neck or shoulders or feetGoing to the parkLooking through old photosHarry Potter marathonsCrisp autumn leavesLong sunny summer daysSunrisesSunsetsWaking without an alarmAn outfit that feels great on youGetting lost in reading for agesYour favourite youtuber has posted a new videoA new season of your favourite showSlippers and dressing gownsA cat’s purringYour dog has a fresh trimYou have a fresh trimGetting your eyeliner and mascara right the first time!Morning fresh airQuiet morning walksThat new game you wanted to playBlanket daysRainy days when you don’t need to leave the houseSleepy SundaysFinishing a bookA new journalNo makeup daysThe euphoria and good ache after a workoutFinding the moon in the daytimeSmiles and “morning!” from strangersCuddling on the sofa (with someone or pet)Discovering a new word that rolls nicely off the tongueFinally being able to do that yoga pose (or other) that you used to struggle withDecluttering your wardrobeTidying and cleaning your spaceA new lip or nail colour that makes you feel like a goddess!The radio playing consistently banging songs“Remember when…”The first sip of coffee or teaFinding someone who loves a show or book as much as you doFresh fruit or vegHugging someone for longer than 10 secondsCooking a tasty mealWhen the food arrives at the tableDecoratingBaking cakesA new song or album that just gets you in every wayInside jokesGrass or sand on bare feetPopcornFluffy socksWindow seatsSun filtering in through the windowsRainbowsDouble rainbows!Kittens and puppies and small furry thingsOnomatopoeiaAccents and foreign languagesNew beginningsSpringBabies cooingA child’s wonderSomeone standing up for youJumpers and cardigansColoursNew notebooksButterfliesSwingsThe opening of a budText messages or calls from friends or loved ones just asking how you are; “I was thinking about you…“ItalicsA new month on the calendar and a clean slateYour favourite author has released a new book

When we forget the little things, we become deeply sad. When we remember them, we are eternally grateful.

 

Sincerely,

S. xx