S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 32
January 1, 2021
Goal Ideas Based On Different Categories of Life (Self-Growth and Intentions)
Firstly, let me say that I put goals because everyone knows what goals are but I tend to veer from this idea lately. Goals feel like to-dos that you tick off or beat yourself up for not ticking off. Instead, I prefer the words intentions or ideas or vibes or themes or focuses. Something to think about, really, as goal-setting is all well and good and it totally depends on your personally how you do this but also consider how those words or the phrasing of your goals make you feel.
Secondly, 2020 has taught us that goals can be laughable! They can be completely thrown to the wind when it’s something that’s dependent on the state of the world or the actions of others! So, bear that in mind, too.
Here we go then, some categories and 10 goals (intentions) that you considers for 2021 for each one. (Some will go hand-in-hand, of course. Like mental health and physical health, because health is all interconnected.)
Mental Health
Journal your thoughts and feelingsSlow down instead of rushing through everythingFocus on and pay attention to your breathOrganise yourself better (for peace of mind!)Delete social media regularly for mind breaksSpeak to your loved ones about your day, your feelings, your thoughtsLearn more about emotions and psychologyFind and maintain a self-care (calming/healing) toolkit for you to trust and use regularly Re-evaluate your support system and cut out those who are adding to your stress without relieving itLearn about and track your sleep routine and hygiene to improve your rest
Physical Health
Walk moreDrink more waterPurposely raise your heart rate and get your sweat on routinelyStretch your body hourlyListen to your body when it speaks and get it checked out (pains, aches, bowel movements, reactions)Work to love your body (look at yourself naked, dress it well, be kind to it)Eat less meat (make it a challenge)Take up a sport or class (join a team or community)Have fun moving your body with less obvious forms of exercise (dance, swimming, climbing, yoga, etc.)Learn about and implement skin care, hair care, and teeth care routines
Financial Peace
Create a saving account for a trip awaySavings account for emergencies (and don’t touch it!)Savings account for a big investment (house, car, whatever)Learn more about how to invest your moneyStart budgeting better (tracking your money, setting tighter budgets to make your money go further)Change banks or savings accounts to get more interest and savings on your moneyGet a credit card/ improve your credit score (wisely!)Ask for a raise/ upskill so you can ask for a raiseNo-Buy challenge (where you challenge yourself to not buying clothes, or books, or takeout, or something for a period of time)Talk openly about money with love ones and friends (you can help one another do better!)
Relationships
Make a point of calling family members and friends more often Call, text, video call people on your commute or when walking the dogWrite letters to people you loveHave hard or deep conversations to bridge connection(Once we can) meet up for dinners with loved ones every other weekSpend more time with your household (without phones, TV or distractions)Spend less time complaining (complaining and discussing your feelings or problems are two different things)Spend more time with friends (if it’s always family, or vice versa)Let people in on your dreams, goals, and passions so you can share the experiencesWork on active listening skills and take an interest in the lives of others
Life Skills
Learn how to sew, knit, or generally care for and upcycle your clothingLearn a new language (without the goal of being fluent! Just have fun learning new phrases through YouTube or an app)Learn how to be a better conversationalistRead more books or in new genres than you usually wouldRead or watch channels that teach you new things about science, history, or the world (Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari is a great start)Get away (as far as you can) when we can travel againChallenge yourself with new games or puzzles or to learn new wordsLearn about sustainability, the environment, and conscious consumptionLearn more about sex and pleasureLearn how to cut and style your own hair (saves you money on always getting it done!)
Creativity
Write more (online, in a journal, to friends, poetry, stories, whatever)Colour and drawRedecorate your space (home or office)Upcycle your stuffCheck out Pinterest boards for inspo on your space, hair, and clothing for a new style changeLearn how to play an instrumentCreate a collage, scrapbook or Pinterest boards for inspo and create ways to do vision boards or collect moments of your lifeRead books (or watch videos and shows) about the area of creativity that you want to improve onPlant flowers or vegetables and learn how to grow themGet curious, experimental and free with anything you create
Entertainment
Read outside your comfort zoneWatch the classics and critically acclaimed filmsWatch films and TV shows with more representation of non-white people, people with disabilities, and the LGBTQ+ communityTry audiobooksWatch TV and YouTube more consciously; with more intention and purposeAsk for recommendations from others(Once we can) see new releases in the cinemaDecide to be less invested in celebrities and their lifestylesAnalyse stories and how they workTailor your content and entertainment consumption to inspire you (watch new films and TV, follow better accounts on Insta and YouTube etc.)
Happy New Year! Good luck!
Sincerely,
S. xx
December 31, 2020
My Book Stats of the Year
Completed a total of 45 books!
Non-fiction: 15
Fiction: 30
Fantasy: 20 (including sci-fic and dystopian)
Contemporary: 10
Adult: 5
Middle-grade: 6
Young Adult: 14
Poetry: 2
Non-white authors: 13
Self-help/developmental: 10
Educational: 4
Favourite read: (Fic) Knife of Never Letting Go (Non-Fic) Sacred Powers
Kindle reads: 17
Physical copies: 23
Audiobooks: 5, 42.61 hours
Overall page count of books read: 11,959 pages (average of 299 pages per book)
December 30, 2020
My achievements and life changes in 2020
Not a bad year at all, in fact, it was everything I could have asked for and more. Thank you! I’m eternally grateful.
See you in 2021!
Sincerely,
S. xx
December 29, 2020
100 things to do in 2021 if life goes back to normal
December 27, 2020
We got engaged!
As you’ve read from the title, Patrick and I are engaged! It was a complete surprise for me and done in the perfect way for us. Nothing too showy but all the sentiment and us-ness that there could have been!
There was no way I would have said no. I broke down crying, felt sick and couldn’t get my words out because I’m scared of commitment, not of him…
Without getting too personal, because it’s our business, but Patrick is perfect. Imperfect like everyone else, but perfect as a partner.
He’s supportive of everything I do. He listens so well. He cares for my family as well as his own. He tries things I like and has become delightfully more nerdy since being with me! He’s my cheerleader and my shoulder to cry on. He has pushed himself to grow with taking up a new sport and reading more and learning about money. He’s always making people laugh, even with awful jokes. And he’s the Yin to my Yang in that we are both whole, wonderful people but we each bring something to the relationship that the other needs. We complement one another. We are a brilliant team.
He is my best friend…
What engagement means for me
Being engaged feels weird. It’s simultaneously terrifying and beautiful. We love the whole fiancé this and fiancé that. It’s a wonderful and predictable milestone for our relationship, now that we’ve been together for 6 years in January.
For me personally, engagement is enough. It’s an amazing step in our relationship; one up from “boyfriend/girlfriend” and step down from the terrifying “MARRIAGE!”
I’d totally choose to be “forever engaged” if I could. Or to have a long engagement that we only change once the moment calls to us. As in, no crazy rush of wedding plans and dates just because we got engaged. To just let the engagement be the wonderful thing that it is for now and not plan to change our status again just yet.
Patrick is more traditional. He’s always wanted to be married and it’s only taken so long because of my thoughts about it. He’s very much husband material! He’s father material! But me, I dunno…
Marriage?
I come from a family of weird marriages. My mom and dad got divorced before he died years later. Their divorce was rushed. Their relationship was flawed. My aunt is still with her life partner after over forty-something years and never being married. My older cousins have children and long-term partners with no marriages in sight. My brother got married last year and that was unexpected. The only real, beautiful display of marriage from my life are my grandparents. They’ve been married over fifty years! They’re an amazing couple, who do remind me of myself and Patrick at times.
So, what do I think about marriage?
I don’t know, is the truth. I have mixed feelings. It’s beautiful, it’s traditional; it can feel like the natural thing to do. The “normal” thing to do. But it’s also very serious and many marriages end badly. That’s scary. I don’t want to fight and tear each other apart financially and emotionally. I don’t want to feel trapped in it…
No, it’s not just marriage that makes me feel this way. Anyone who reads all of my posts or knows me personally must know by now that I am a commitment-phobe. I’m afraid of all forms of commitment: to a job, a house, a partner, a university degree, a hairstyle…
Long-term commitments make me freak out and want to escape…
Thoughts and feelings as of now…
I feel emotionally exhausted. Not just because of the engagement anxiety but also the festivities of Christmas as a whole, the exhaustion from work, the stress/fears of changes at work, having to move house again and university assignments. Everything adult!!
I feel a lot of fear for next year because of everyone else, not us. I know Patrick has my back. That he would never force me to do anything I didn’t want to do or wasn’t ready for. It’s more his family pressures that I worry about. I don’t want to be told what to do or feel like I’m letting everyone down for not following their expectations.
And lastly, there are a lot of conversations to be had in the coming months. Whether we will have a long engagement or not. How big the ceremony will be. Who will be there. Where we’ll have it. The biggest problem is my name. I don’t want to be Mrs Kuduwa! It doesn’t feel right. Doesn’t feel like me. I could easily just keep my own name, but I also hate the idea of my kids having a different surname to me…So that’s a hard decision for me to make.
All in all…
I feel like it’s right. It’s sort of bad timing because I feel stressed and overwhelmed by my job, house and university right now, too. So my head isn’t clear and my anxiety is high anyway. I want to be solely happy and smitten, but my head is heavy and I’m so tired that it steals me away at times. I feel so sad about that and angry that I’ve cried a lot and Patrick has had to comfort me. But luckily, he knows the woman he wants to marry and chose to propose regardless of my fears and faults. That’s how you know you’ve found the one…
His friends asked him how he knows it’s the right time/person. He said that it’s because the things they do, no matter what it is, don’t bother you at all and you don’t stop loving them.
How lucky am I?
Sincerely,
S. xx
December 21, 2020
Books I DIDN’T enjoy reading this year (disappointments)
These were disappointing for the same reasons: I expected more/better. I wanted to love them because they were either great concepts or great authors that I otherwise enjoy but they didn’t deliver this time.
I sometimes wonder if I have high expectations about books sometimes. I rarely love a book. I’m regularly disappointed and left wanting more. So maybe something is wrong with me?! Maybe I’ve just not found the ones that will tick my boxes. But I’ll keep reading and find out!
DNFs:
Eragon (but I’ll try again)The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett
Don’t waste your time on bad books! There’s plenty out there and not enough time in our lives, so go find books that you actually enjoy! My partner has gone from never reading to finishing ten books this year! Audiobooks, kindle, and paperback. I’m so proud of him. It goes to show that there’s books for everyone, it’s just about trying different ones out.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Sincerely,
S. xx
December 18, 2020
Books I enjoyed reading this year
I didn’t adore these books, I just enjoyed them. I don’t think there’s any on here that I’d re-read again in a hurry, but I enjoyed them while I read them. They were either great worlds and interesting magic, or they helped to open my mind and develop my thinking during a difficult year.
Ones I enjoyed at times but didn’t love-love:
The Magicians by Lev GrossmanQueenie by Candice Carty-WilliamsEverything I Never Told You by Celeste NgThe Giver by Lois Lowry
I read 43 books this year (as of writing this) and so I smashed my 2020 reading goals! I read better books and more varied books. I hope next year will be even better, and I’ll find some books that I love! I’m determined to find them!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Sincerely,
S. xx
December 7, 2020
Christmas Spirit and Evaluating Our Needs (podcast)
This festive season and end to the crazy 2020, I want you to anchor in hope, learn to trust, and bring a magical awareness to your life.
Click to play!
xx
December 2, 2020
5 Things I Aim to Learn More About in 2021
My motto and guide for 2021 is to be a student of life. To learn instead of knowing and assuming. To learn and grow. To learn and be the beginner and be humble.
So here are 5 key things I want to learn more about in 2021…
How to look after our planetMeatless or Meat Less meals and general health and nutrition Literature analysisStorytellingOther cultures and countries
It’s important to care for our planet and I want to get more serious about doing my part. That all starts with knowing the facts and knowing what I can do personally to do less harm and more good while I’m here on earth.
I want to try to eat less meat, especially red meat. This means learning more recipes, alternatives, spices etc to make my meals healthy and delicious! I can’t wait to get in the kitchen and discover more dishes that I enjoy that make me feel good.
Of course, my degree is basically an English degree. Right now, I’m doing a literature module. This means I’ll have the opportunity to learn more about storytelling and literature. Developing my skills of narration and character analysis is fun, rewarding and great for my writing skills.
My own skills of storytelling as a writer will hopefully get a lot of TLC in 2021. This year I completed a first draft manuscript of 75k and that was so fulfilling so I want to develop and explore worlds and characters again in 2021 with freedom and confidence.
And lastly, we really REALLY need a trip away! We haven’t been abroad for two years now and that’s just criminal. Hopefully Covid will allow us to hop on a plane and see some of the world again. Travel is important for us, our happiness and freedom. Our education and expansion. So I can’t wait to finally get invigorated by life by seeing the world’s wonders.
What do you want to learn in 2021?
Sincerely,
S. xx
