S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 30

Things that have ACTUALLY changed my life

People online always say things have “changed their life” but it all sounds a bit extreme. Very few things actually change our lives, but here are some things that have without a doubt changed mine.

Cooking proper meals

This is a huge one for so many reasons. It’s helped with my physical health, mental health and bond with my partner, too. It’s a way for us to work on something together and eat something delicious after some hard work. You know the ingredients going into your food so you know how healthy (or not) it is. Plus, I see cooking as therapeutic and when it’s a longer process, you get to be mindful and concentrate on something as you’re doing it. To take things a little slower for once. You get to discover new meals and ingredients and have some damn fun with food, which is massive for me as someone who has struggled with food for most of my life.

Having a dog

My dog Joey is one of the best things to happen to us! He keeps us active; he brings fun into our lives. You can’t help but smile when you’re greeted by him. He’s warm and cuddly. He’s just a bundle of joy in a world that’s felt hard lately.

(I’m not saying to go out and get a pet. There are loads of unloved pets who have been abandoned due to not being wanted long-term.)

Yoga

I’m still an amateur and I go through periods of not doing it as much, and then periods of doing it daily, but it’s something I can’t imagine not having as a tool in my belt now. I use yoga for a multitude of positive reasons. It’s good for my physical and mental health but in general, you know what, it just makes me feel good! I use it to stretch out the aches and pain, as well as re-centre myself and feel more confident again. It’s improved my flexibility, posture, mental clarity, body pains (shoulders, wrists, hips, back), and even my *sorry, mom* sex life!

Reading daily

It’s only been about 4-5 years that I’ve actively read books. Mad, wrong, awful, I know! But that’s the truth. Before, I’d read every now and then, but now I read every day in some capacity without fail. I read 45 books last year, which is a massive achievement and personal best – the pandemic helped. Reading does more for you than you realise.

It’s educational, routine, calming, gentle, creative, informative, entertaining, fun, gripping, inspiring and more. You learn about cultures and fairy tales and magic. You get to live another life in another world for a few weeks and that’s so wonderful. It’s escapism but also immersive and important, especially in a world that feels unstable.

There you have it, some things that have definitely changed my life and I will always to do them now. I can’t imagine life without these things!

Sincerely,

S. xx

We Are Our Own Villains (podcast)

Today I’m dropping in with a quick one discussing two things: the origins of our fear and sadness, maybe there’s a story you’re telling yourself that links to it; and how our expectations of ourselves are causing us to be both the victim and the villain.

Click to play!

xx

Powerlessness – a poem

Dry cracked palms pray –

For better, better than this.

Broken promises pierce pockets

Pennies pouring into bottomless pits

Foreigners found on shores –

Imprisoned.

Beautiful black men hands high

Bloody.

Same-sex Lovers lying in arms

Denied.

We plead. We pray. We play along…

From high white thrones –

They cackle. Monstrous men mighty.

Footprints stamped on our foreheads

They can’t hear us

Through the 6ft of dirt

Between us.

Forcing foreign tongues to speak English

So they can be rejected

In both languages.

Cross a soulless sea to be sent back

The poor climb ladders

Only to find snakes and fall

And you placed them all –

So clever!

We were never allowed

To win this game.

No. You designed it

So that we would think we were playing

When all along

You already won.

“Self-help” books I’ve read and enjoyed

These books aren’t all categorised as self-help and I think I agree with Leena Norms on YouTube who said that the genre “self-help” is a little confusing anyway. It’s not really self-help, it’s getting advice and help from someone else! And then using it yourself, which is what we do with anything we read, right? Anyway…

These are the ones I’ve read to completion, enjoyed, and used at one point in my life to change my mindset on things.

Untamed

By Glennon Doyle. It was the first book I read this year and I loved it. Taught me to shun society’s rulebook and embrace my freedom as a woman.

Big Magic

By Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love). I loved this book a couple of years ago. It granted me the permission to create freely, messily and for the hell of it. To not stifle my creativity with expectations and a need for a pay check.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

By Mark Manson. I read this last year and it helped me evaluate my values and what I hold as important. To shift my worries and cares to what matters most.

The Gifts of Imperfection

By Brene Brown

Rising Strong

By Brene Brown

Power of Vulnerability

By Brene Brown. Want to read some good self-help? Read Brene. She’s a researcher and so her books are based on real research and people. Real evidence! She will help you understand yourself on a deeper level and analyse that self for clarity and Emotional Intelligence.

Notes on a Nervous Planet

By Matt Haig. I listened to the audiobook in a day or two. It was everything I’ve wondered and worried about for our modern world. It was one of the contributing sources for my giving up social media. We need to unplug!

The Four Agreements

By Don Miguel Ruiz. Brilliant book I listened to last year. I need a re-read. It’s one of those that fixes your mindset after you’ve read it but need reminding of it. Don’t take things personally is my favourite agreement that I need to live by. Also Don’t make assumptions.

The Untethered Soul

By Michael Singer. Not an easy one and wouldn’t recommend to everyone. It’s about how we are simply pure consciousness and therefore our ego, personality, worries, possessions, and ties to the material are all just distractions. We are in the watchers seat, witnessing our experiences.

Sacred Powers

By David Ji. Again, more spiritual and not for everyone. However, if you’re into spirituality or gaining more inner connection and clarity, I strongly recommend. My shift in mindset and mental clarity from digging deep last year came from this book as it walks you through exercises and journaling.

What I Know For Sure

By Oprah. I mean…It’s Oprah so…

Path Made Clear

By Oprah. I listened to this, great little tidbits of advice.

Emotional Intelligence

Good foundation for learning more about emotional Intelligence and how to better manage yourself.

Eat, Pray, Love

By Elizabeth Gilbert. Not all that self-help-y in my eyes but people adore this. I think I just liked her writing style and how she was on a journey of self which I dig.

The Alchemist

By Paulo Coelho. A very popular spiritual book. If you haven’t read it, do! Not for everyone as it’s very sort of fairy tale or fable in structure. It’s about seeing the omens in life as they lead your along your path.

The Obstacle is the Way

By Ryan Holiday. Good book but I expected better. Gets repetitive after a while but you can’t be reminded too much how capable you are of moving, climbing, or destroying an obstacle in your way like a badass Stoic!

You’re As Mad As I Am

By S. R. Crawford. Okay, this is my book! Of course I had to plug my own in here as technically I’ve read this many times! It runs through everything I know so far about fixing and maintaining good mental health even as someone like me who is prone to anxiety and depression as disorders.

Do We Need to Categorise Ourselves with Labels? (podcast)

I provide a whistle-stop tour on our poor categorisation skills, how complicated the whole business can get, and share some ideas about perhaps scrapping it all together!

Hank Green’s video on Sexuality that I mentioned here

Your identity will never be something you could write out on a sheet of paper, listing with words and labels who you are, because you will always be so much more than that.

Click to play!

Additional notes about the episode (afterthought!)

Unless you want to have sex with someone, what does this sexual identity matter, really?The colour of someone’s skin doesn’t tell us anything about them as a person, but their heritage might and again, it might not!List of sexual orientations Key takeaway: Be okay with answering “I’m not sure about that, I think I’m a lot of things” and allowing yourself not to be minimised into a neat box.

xx

Black Lives Always Matter. Black History Always Matters. – poem

As February comes to a close,

Making way for the coming of spring

I want you to sing of the dead

Black boys and black girls.

Gospel and grace holds space for their names

Their pain our pain forever ingrained

In our hearts, our days, our future

Untouched by their feet.

Because Black lives always matter.

February or October, the month we pretend

To know and care and share.

It’s like only loving your spouse

On Valentine’s Day. Does that make sense?

Why only love black lives in the months

You’re told to? No.

Black lives always matter.

My unborn, un-conceived son’s life

Matters.

The most beautiful man in the world –

My grandfather – his life

Matters.

My fiance, my brother, my mother, my nan,

My uncle, my aunties, my counsins, my nephew

They matter. They matter. They matter.

All the names we don’t know –

Matter.

All the names we do know –

Never forget.

Never forget to celebrate and speak

And shout and clap

And stand and kneel

And cry and cry and cry

Year round.

Because Black lives – ALWAYS – Matter.

In Winter, spring, summer and fall

Celebrate them all and mourn them all

Not when one is dead.

Not when one is president.

Not when your sister dates one.

Always. Always. Always.

‘What if’ – an open journal

What if after all this time, you were lucky and blessed all along?

What if those moments that felt endless were the ones that made you strong?

What if every fear you’ve ever had never sees the light of day?

And maybe you’re not actually the ugly one, the dumb one, the poor one, the boring one, the loser.

And couldn’t your losses have been redirecting somewhere better?

Every failure a signpost at a crossroads saying you can choose a different path; a better path?

And of course the failures aren’t failures until you give up trying, so maybe each pitfall was made to test your ability to climb back out of the hole?

What if all your hard work did pay off?

What if you got something pretty damn close to perfect for your life?

What if you are so incredibly loved and safe that no matter what, you’ll never feel completely empty? You’ll always be okay?

What if all those bad thoughts inside your head were wrong?

Sincerely,

S. xx

Making Healthier Decisions for Yourself: Think Natural

This is advice I’m trying to follow for myself in order to make healthier decisions in my everyday life. One of my guiding intentions for 2021 is to take steps closer to what is more natural and good for me. To make healthier long-term decisions for my body, mind, and spirit.

Here is just an idea and mantra for thinking more natural when making healthier choices…

Think natural for my hair and skincare

I’m trying to embrace my natural curls anyway, but also trying to embrace however they show up! Instead of trying to make every curl defined and perfect. Instead of forcing away the frizz. Instead of hating how not perfect it is compared to pictures online. To just be me! Curls, frizz, wisps and all!

Natural is always a good idea. Our hair doesn’t need hundreds of products, heat, or to be pulled and prodded all the time. Let it be. Give it what is clearly needs and let it be.

When using products for your hair or skin, the more natural it is (no added chemicals) the better it is for your body, too. Check the label. Sadly, you may have to pay a bit extra for natural products but it’s worth if for how much good it does for your hair and skin.

Think natural for my food choices

And of course with food you should try to get closer and closer to what is natural! To what comes from mother earth! This means eating more plants and less processed foods. The less things that have been done to your food, the better it is for you.

So, when walking the aisles at the shops or market, try to pick the option with less unnatural things added to the food (and the packaging, if possible!). When cooking, try to cook your food in a more natural way with less added naughty sauces and spices and oil, too.

This is not a perfect science. Anyone who is deeply passionate about this knows how hard it is to be completely natural unless you grow the foods yourself! But simply keeping the idea of “natural” in your mind as you shop and cook will help you to be healthier. Don’t be hard on yourself and just try you best!

This also means thinking about what you are putting into your body generally anyway. Too much alcohol consumption? Drugs or medicine you don’t need? Could you get your vitamin intake more naturally? Too many sweets, chocolates, or additives?

Think natural for my thoughts

I’m trying to ask myself if what I’m thinking and giving energy to is natural or unnatural. Toxic or worthy. Some things do bear thinking about…others, not so much! Yet as an anxious, turbulent personality type, I give energy to all thoughts and that needs to stop.

Now, I ask “Does this thought serve me? Does this come from a healthy place?”

Think natural for my actions

And lastly, just keeping the mantra of “natural decisions, natural actions” for everyday life. Natural in my conversations, so as to not force conversation when silence is okay. To not say things I don’t mean or don’t believe in.

To connect more naturally as in with conversation, depth and face-to-face (or facetime!) interaction. Not having the TV on all the time. Not using social media as connection when it’s not, really.

To choose nature more in my life, as in getting outdoors! Even in the Winter! Moving my body in a natural, needed manner.

Natural is easy. Natural is kind. Natural is in alignment with self and spirit. Natural is healthy. Natural is only natural!!

Sincerely,

S. xx

Creative Freedom (podcast)

Today I would like to just invite you to tap into your creativity. To give yourself permission to create freely: create for the hell of it, others be damned!

Click to play!

xx

What Makes A Poem? (poem)

I’ve been pondering a question:

What makes a poem?

Is it the rhythm of a repeated

rhyme? Time, meter – line?

Hmm…

Assonance plays with sibilance

Not forgetting consonance

A friend to fickle alliteration

A simple station – yet we

Stop there.

Pay your fare and

Play your games fair!

What makes a poem?

Perhaps it’s simply the poet!