S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 24

You’ve known all along (podcast)

Today’s episode is a pep talk for when you are feeling unsure about what to do or who you are. Keep this for when you need a pick me up.

Click to play!

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When to speak & when to be silent (podcast)

Our society is completely manmade. It’s all a social construct, built and then upheld by everyday people. There are a lot of people in groups that are suffering in our world, and speaking up can be important. But also toxic.

That begs the question, then, when should we speak and when should we stay silent?

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Identity and Self-Awareness Questionnaire

I’ve recently been asking myself these questions, because I’ve not felt sure of myself. My confidence is waning. I haven’t been sure of who I am and what I want. Also, I’ve only just emerged out into the world as an independent woman, so I’m still figuring it all out and being confident in saying I know who I am without fear or shying away or comparing.

If you, too, are interested in keeping up with yourself, checking in, or getting to know yourself, here are some questions to ask.

What are your favourite colours? To wear? To decorate your home? Why?What is your favourite season/time of year? Why?What is your favourite month? Why?What is your personality type, MBTI or enneagram or other? Does this resonate with you?What are your favourite genre of books? Why?What is your favourite genre of music? Why?What was your favourite subject at school? Why? What is your clothing style/aesthetic? Why?What are your hobbies? Why?What are your best memories? Why?What are your worst memories? Why?Where would you go next if you could go anywhere? Why?What was your favourite trip/holiday? Why?What was your worst trip? Why?What have been your greatest achievements? Why?What are your favourite TV shows? Why?What are your favourite films? Why?Where does most of your money go? Why?What are your favourite foods? Who are your favourite recording artists? Why?What are you good at? Your strengths and skills?What are you bad at? Your weaknesses? Why are they weaknesses? Who do you spend the most time with? Why?Who do you admire? What do you admire about them? Why?What do you value most? Why?What does a perfect day look like? Why?What do I want in my free time? Why?What do you like? Why?What do you hate? Why?What makes you angry? Why?What makes you sad? Why?What brings you joy? Why?What is wrong with the world? Why?What is wrong with your life? Why?What is right in the world? Why?What is right in your life? Why?

I hope you enjoy getting to know yourself deeper. Keep coming back to these questions throughout the year. Let yourself grow and change and there is real information in these things. It can help you make decisions and do what’s best for you!

Sincerely,

S. xx

“Exposed” – creative stream of consciousness/journal entry

I’m not myself. It’s like the skin has been peeled away entirely, leaving exposed muscle and nerves and fragile bones. A simple gust of wind and I feel it all over, rubbing against tight strings of ligament barely holding me together.

I ache.

How long have I been like this? As fragile as a glass building, begging to be destroyed. Did I ask for this? With my wishing and wanting, thinking and fearing? Perhaps.

Where did I leave my pile of skin? Who helped me pick at the edges of my being, revealing vulnerable layers beneath? Can I sew myself back together again, with magic string and good intentions?

There are no fairy godmothers here.

No white prince atop a white horse coming to save me. I’d probably miss him if he did. I’m blind to what’s best for me, when it is wrapped in a pretty package – too good to be true. How can I trust the things that look like monsters to me? You see a prince, I see a python, ready to wrap it’s tail around me. Tighter, tighter, until I crack; bone by bone, becoming dust…

I wrote this after work yesterday (creative stream of consciousness/journal entry)

I’m not myself. It’s like the skin has been peeled away entirely, leaving exposed muscle and nerves and fragile bones. A simple gust of wind and I feel it all over, rubbing against tight strings of ligament barely holding me together.

I ache.

How long have I been like this? As fragile as a glass building, begging to be destroyed. Did I ask for this? With my wishing and wanting, thinking and fearing? Perhaps.

Where did I leave my pile of skin? Who helped me pick at the edges of my being, revealing vulnerable layers beneath? Can I sew myself back together again, with magic string and good intentions?

There are no fairy godmothers here.

No white prince atop a white horse coming to save me. I’d probably miss him if he did. I’m blind to what’s best for me, when it is wrapped in a pretty package – too good to be true. How can I trust the things that look like monsters to me? You see a prince, I see a python, ready to wrap it’s tail around me. Tighter, tighter, until I crack; bone by bone, becoming dust…

Tending to the Foundations of Who You Are (podcast)

Who are you? That’s a loaded question, isn’t it?! But it’s an important one. A question that has been rattling me a little lately, so I wanted to explore the importance of knowing who we are, what can happen if you don’t, and soon I will have a questionnaire coming about what to do to get to know yourself more.

Click to play!

Sincerely,

S. xx

A Life and Content Update (podcast)

Hey guys, today I’m updating you on:

What I read this summer and my year’s reading goalMy summer writing goal, finished stories, etc.My bike riding intentions and fearsGoing back to work for a new academic yearBack to university for Third Year and a new moduleWhat I want to do with my content for the rest of the year

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List of 10 things that keep my mental health away from the edge

Today I wanted to share with you a list of things that work for me to keep my mental health from getting too bad.

Now I purposely didn’t say that these make my mental health “good” or anything because doing these things doesn’t necessarily mean I will feel great. Or that I will never have low or anxious days. These are just the things that I know keep me from sinking to the bad place. Things that keep me from the extreme end of poor mental health.

Writing: when I’m writing a lot or generally just putting words to paper (or laptop), I feel a lot better within myself. I feel I’m in my element. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, writing is my anchor. It’s my saviour. It’s the thing I’ve turned to when I’ve been lonely, unemployed, scared, lost, poor, confused, ugly, overwhelmed, bored, the lot!Reading a good book: perhaps my second anchor; I feel good and productive and calm when I’m reading. It’s like if nothing else, just read! It’s never wasted time. And it makes me feel good about myself and I’m learning and escaping; it’s all the things.Communication: when I bottle things up, I know it. It sits inside of me and creates this heaviness and tension. But I know that when I speak about how I’m feeling or what I need/want, even when it’s hard, it makes me feel so much better. It’s like this blockage in my spiritual waters has been cleared and everything runs more smoothly!Spending time and energy with good people: spending time with people I don’t like or who don’t get me doesn’t feel good. But when I’m with the right people and it’s good vibes, that feels good. I’m an introvert so I’m very protective of my energy. I’m drained easily so I am only filled up when I have good conversations and I feel connected to a person. Walking a lot throughout my day: being active is key to my mental and physical wellness. Walking is underrated!! It’s all you need for a healthy body and mind, really. This year I opted out of having a car, and decided to cycle to work where possible instead and walk as much as I can. Some may think it’s a waste of time, but I’m starting to see it as not only good for my health in EVERY SINGLE WAY, but also reflective time and creative time and audiobook time!Eating good meals: that don’t leave me feeling heavy, overly full, or sluggish afterwards. Taking time to cook is very therapeutic, too. Discovering new foods I like makes me feel immense joy, especially as a recovering fussy eater. Getting enough rest: this will depend on your week, if you’ve been particularly busy or had deadlines or whatever you may need more rest than usual. This means saying no to invites or tasks or whatever if your body and mind needs to rest. It means tossing the to-do list out of the window (or delegating or asking for help) so you can rest. Putting in a bit of effort to look good: when you feel more confident about your outfit or hair and face, you carry yourself differently throughout the day and feel genuinely good within yourself. Moving my body, in a freeing, feel-good way: yoga, dancing, climbing, playing around in a field with my dog and partner, whatever. No aggressive or forceful movement that doesn’t feel good to do. Get your heart rate up, release those endorphins, and enjoy yourself! Active lifestyles needn’t be a punishment and they make a world of difference in our internal wellbeing, too.Being organised: it’s more stressful when I don’t know what’s going on, what I need to do, when by, who with, etc. That’s why I love lists and multiple calendars and whiteboards and journals. Organise my thoughts, to-dos, deadlines, studying, writing, cleaning, partner time, family time, reading, and so on! It might sound like a lot but organisation helps you deal with adulting and feel more in control of what could otherwise feel very stressful and overwhelming.

There you have it, my top 10 things for keeping my mental health in check.

What are yours?

Sending you peace from this side of the world (please send it back round, I need it!)

Sincerely,

S. xx

The Importance of Bravery and Beauty (podcast)

Today I am talking about what it means to be brave and why we admire it in others, alongside the importance of beauty and the role it plays in our everyday lives.

Click to play!

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Is Passivity The Problem?

There is nothing wrong with anything, really (apart from illegal things and things that are evil or unjust or horrible, but you know what I mean). Eating junk food is fine in small doses. Watching TV reruns is fine, at times. Sex with a stranger; lying; skipping a workout; wearing joggers all week…

I think these things, and many other things, only really become a problem when they are done passively.

Passive means: “accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance.”

The opposite of passive is active. When we are actively doing things, we are aware of the fact we are doing them. We have intention behind our actions. This is something I speak about often and believe in wholeheartedly. It is fine for me to order a pizza from Dominos, as long as I’m doing it intentionally. Now you might be thinking, isn’t that just as bad, if not worse because you’ve actively decided to eat something “bad” for you? I argue no. Here’s why…

Mindlessness is dangerous. Not knowing why or how you do things is scary. It means you’re not in control of your life. You’re on autopilot; a dead fish pushed by the current…right off a cliff.

I don’t think, by the way, that we can or should be completely active all the time, and never passive. I’m just saying that perhaps the percentages need to be closer to like 75-25% or even 80-20% with passivity being the lower end.

It worries me when people say, “I just fell into this job or this relationship.” Or, “I put on loads of weight and have no idea why.” Or whatever else. It means you let something big happen to you, without any awareness of it at all.

And so, it is better that you do things knowingly, intentionally, with awareness. To eat the pizza knowing its bad for you, because you’re less likely to do it often. You’re less likely to make yourself feel bad afterwards because you decided to do it even after thinking it through. You already let yourself off the hook before even doing it. You reasoned with yourself that it was okay. Maybe you said, “I haven’t had takeaway food in a while and I don’t feel up to cooking, so this is okay.” That’s fine!

There’s a lot of nuance that goes into this (as with everything, regardless of what the internet may suggest), but my point that I want to share with you as inspiration for this week is to consider what you do passively. And why that might be…

Do you:

Reach for the snack drawer a little too oftenSkip your workouts all the timeTake short cuts at work or in your homeLeave the cleaning for “another day”Say things out of anger, tiredness, bored, jealousy etc.Dress in the slumpy outfit againWatch Friends for the millionth timeScroll on your favourite social media app endlesslyBuy the same foods from the supermarket every weekForget to call your mom or friend, againLet people offload their problems onto you without you realising that’s what they’re doingGo on your phone first thing in the morning or last thing at nightShare things that are important (disasters in other countries, BLM posts, hate crimes etc) on social media without really thinking about it, researching, having an emotional reaction, or acting on the information you’ve consumed

I for one want an active life, and no, I don’t mean becoming a runner or a hiker or something! I mean I want to choose my life. To look back and know I choose what I have, for better or worse. That way, I can’t point the finger elsewhere. I can’t beat myself up for not trying or whatever else. That I didn’t get married just because I was asked, but because I wanted to and knew it was right for me. That I didn’t stay in a job I wasn’t happy with for years and years, but instead actively looked for better or upskilled so I could get better. That I didn’t let moments of free time pass by, again and again, where I could have been writing a novel that could one day set me on a different path in my life.

We can’t perfect our lives and secure everything we want, sadly. But passivity is definitely one road to securing a life you did NOT pick for yourself. So choose to be an active character in your story! Choose your adventure, don’t get pushed along on someone else’s.

To do this week:

Set a goal to work towards before the end of 2021Think before you act a little more (not so much that it’s paralysing, this isn’t good either! Balance, bro!)Ask yourself: what am I CHOOSING in my life, versus what am I passively ALLOWING in my life?

There will always be things we do passively. Our brains need to take a break and run on autopilot for a while. But it’s dangerous to do so too often. If you’re finding that you have mostly passive days, I would question why. Why don’t you actively make decisions about what you should do or say? Perhaps you’re feeling low or depressed right now, in which case passivity is normal and I hope it will pass soon. Either way, be kind to yourself and look after yourself by CHOOSING more than ALLOWING.

Sincerely,

S. xx