S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 25

How to Boost Your Mood Quickly (podcast)

Being an adult is stressful sometimes, so maybe being a kid again (briefly) can help us when we are in a bad mood. Today I discovered that things that we did or loved as a child can really shift our mood.

BONUS TIP: How can you carry out your day with a sense of childlike wonder and imagination?

Click to play!

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What Are We Here to Do? (podcast)

Today’s ramble is about what we are actually here to do and about the radical idea that maybe we’re not here to produce and serve and compete…

Click to play!

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What I Want from my Writing

I don’t know why I’m sharing this with you guys! Maybe it’s because I want it as a reminder. Maybe it’s because I want you guys to hold me accountable. But today I wanted to share with you why I write and what I want from my writing career.

Now firstly, I do want a CAREER. As in, I want to continue to tell stories for the rest of my life, and be paid for it. I think it was last year when I gave myself permission not to publish any books. To never publish if it didn’t feel right. To not call myself an author anymore, even though I have actual books that people can purchase on Amazon should they wish.

The latter point is due to me not feeling as connected to those books as I once was. I’m still DEEPLY proud of them. I put so much time and energy into those books for years. I still think about those characters and those worlds. In fact, I read some of them this year to remind myself of what I used to create and the stories that I crafted for myself at such a young age.

They are very flawed, yes. I was, as I say, very young. They were all published by the age of 21!

There’s this question: Are a writer’s old works invalid? Because they weren’t their best work, do we discard them or tear them apart?

No. They are the making of that writer. You could argue that I should have waited to publish when I was older, and I can agree with that. But publishing was something that has aided me a lot over the years. I gave myself opportunities and made connections and even got jobs because I could say I was a published author, and not many young people could say that.

And last year, I gave myself permission not to publish because I wanted to feel free again. Writing with the idea of publishing can stifle your creativity. It puts so much pressure on you. If you’re like me, from a poor socioeconomic background, struggling for money, you know that (or you want to get to that point where) your writing can set you free. When you no longer need to be shackled to shit jobs and meaningless tasks from grumpy bosses that make you feel so unlike yourself.

That’s a LOT of weight for your writing to carry.

But I digress! I guess what I’m saying is, I fall in and out of love with the idea of being published. It’s scary. It’s hard. It can change a life, for better or worse. It’s a long road. Life happens in-between and that will effect your career. I know I have a lot to do WAY before my stories hit the shelves, and that’s daunting; it’s something I have to set aside for now so that I can just enjoy writing again.

But at the end of the day, I want people to read my work. Hence this blog; hence the story ideas that flood into my head and I call them “books” instead of just “stories”. They are things that I wish were books. Physical things that can be passed between individuals.

Why I write

All this is to say that I write because I have these things inside of me that need to be put into words. I’m not a lyrical wordsmith. I didn’t consume a plethora of books as a kid and decide that I wanted to write them myself. I just have this deep, complex, imaginative inner world that can often be my undoing, but is a calling to the page. I write to find clarity. I write to order the chaos. I write to discover. I write to create possibilities.

I can’t imagine a world where I don’t write. As HP’s author once said, ‘if I wasn’t a writer, I think I’d be depressed.’

It’s a part of me as much as laughing and dancing and eating noodles!

I don’t want to look back and see a girl who was afraid to write. I don’t want to look back and see someone who clipped their own wings. Now isn’t that a sad story?

What I want from my author/writing career

I want fans. I want fans who are the coolest, nicest, funniest people ever! I want them to find a home in my stories. You know those ones that are atmospheric and funny and wholesome and warm? I want to write those stories. (I think I’m getting closer to this with my new story idea!)

Stories where you have a cast of characters who feel like friends. They have found a family within the story, and you the reader feel like a part of that dynamic, too. Harry Potter was that for me and so many others. Friends who were there for you when you felt most alone. Hogwarts is our home.

I will never be HP-big, and I don’t think I could handle it if I was! So, no thanks! But I want that kind of vibe. I want that kind of fandom. Where kids band together and say, “I’m such a Ravenclaw!” or “Luna is my favourite character!” and they talk about Dobby as if he’s real. (He is, of course!)

I haven’t read many books like this. TV shows, yes – I’m looking at you, Avatar the Last Airbender! All of my favourite stories (books, TV, film) feature characters who are fun and devoted friends and awesome and passionate about things and magical and have a real sense of place and interaction with the world around them. That’s what I want to craft for the books I produce.

Those are the stories that stay with you forever…

I want my stories to be my passport around the world. I’m not going to lie, I want my books to be translated and I want to tour in other countries. I want to travel and see beautiful places. I’m scared to do so, but I know it will be so fulfilling!

I want my career to grant me financial freedom. Not to be rich. I’m not looking to write just to make millions (this would be entirely the wrong profession for that!) Instead, I want to be able to write and making a living with my stories alone (as in, not need another job on the side). I don’t need a lot, just enough to have a comfortable living and be able to support my family and do the things we want and need to do for a fulfilling life.

I want my writing to help me meet this world’s amazing people. I don’t need or want fame. I would love to be an author who is only ever recognised by diehard fans! I’m very introverted and partially socially anxious, so privacy and space is good! But I think some people in this world are awe-inspiring and have beautiful hearts and I want to meet them! I want to have brunch with them or go on writing retreats or do yoga together!

I want my books to feel like portals into other worlds, and I want my books to be my portal into another version of myself and my life. One where I know I was ME, the fully fledged, unapologetic, unencumbered me that I am inside. I know it won’t be easy and beautiful, but you go through hardship for the good, important things in life. I think this is one of those things.

I want to set myself free with my writing. We’ll see when (yes, when!) I can get there. I hope you stay for the ride.

Sincerely,

S. xx

How to Consistently Work on a Project (podcast)

This August I plan to write a story, which will be a significant amount of words and take a lot of focus! If you, too, are working on a project right now, here are 20 ways to help you consistently show up for this project and get it completed without feeling burnt out or overwhelmed!

Click to play!

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An Ode to Writing for the Sake of It

You have always been there to support me, but I think I have neglected you of late. I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to lose my way, but pathways intersect and divert so easily that I became blinded and the destination less clear.

I say I don’t know who I am but I am a writer. Why? What is a writer? What makes this thing, this entity? What are the rules? A writer isn’t someone who writes, because in this world, everyone writes at some point. No. A writer is someone who writes not because they have to or because it’s the cool thing or because it’s a means to an end, but because it gives them life. A writer writes because it’s harder not to. A writer writes because something inside of them screams and bangs on the doors of their soul if they are ever not writing for too long.

I think my spirit has been screaming.

Now I want to dive right on in. To sink deeper into my spirit, or hold it’s hand as we traverse my inner world where my writing paints the very walls. And no, I’m not the best writer. Writers don’t need to be good at it, to feel how it decorates their soul. Instead we do the deed because the deed feels good, no?

Writing advice litters the internet. Sometimes it helps, but other times it hinders. Little matters on the offset except caring about what you are producing. Why does it matter to you? Why this story, poem, script, blog post? Why does it need to be written? And no one ever has to set eyes on it for it to matter. The mere act of creation gives birth to a spiritual energy, an entity that in and of itself matters and has meaning and exists because of you.

Imagination is a station I’ve visited many times. I get told at work that I’m silly. That I’m more of a kid than the students, simply because I told a boy to pick up a rainbow and put it in his pocket. People look down on what they can’t understand and imagination is this intangible thing that is scary because it’s unknown. It’s creation. It’s nothingness until it reveals it’s something-ness. And that’s fascinating to me.

So I may never profit from imagination and creation but that doesn’t mean I must stop doing it. This world says nay to doing for doing’s sake. There must be a rhyme or reason, and that reason best be profit! Nah. My rhyme or reason is the rhythm created from the doing. The feeling of fluidity and possibility and freedom and peace and wonderment that comes from sitting in the flow state as I write. The words or worlds may seem silly or wonky, when experienced out of time, but in the creating state, they are everything. They hold up my world. They create the foundations upon which I build and build and build until I’m breathless and I can look around and see that I’ve crafted a universe of ideas. Where I breathed life into people tackling their own reality within my stories. Where I made you, dear reader, believe for a moment that something outside of what you were told might just be true.

Am I a God in those times? Totally. Blasphemous, perhaps, but damn does it feel good.

I’m rambling but again, rambling can feel pretty darn good. Algorithms and rulebooks be damned; a stream of consciousness is frickin’ freeing and so I set myself free here, for a moment, to tell you that writing is within every part of me. I never want to lose myself again.

Sincerely,

S. xx

Overwhelmed by Options and Afraid to Commit (podcast)

Today I am discussing overwhelm, the fear of missing out and the plethora of options available to us in this modern world and how that all feels! Can we commit to things in life or are there just too many options available to us nowadays?

Click to play!

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How Can We Live a More Content Life? (podcast)

Today I am discussing ways that we might be able to live a life of more peace, contentment and satisfaction without striving for perfection and lasting happiness which isn’t achievable.

(I might do a Part Two to this because of course, there is SO much that I could talk about and I only scratched the surface here…)

Click to play!

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Embracing Life’s Grey Areas (podcast)

Today I’m talking about how things can be true and untrue at the same time and that’s totally confusing and totally normal! So we should embrace the grey areas, speak in fewer extremes and certainty, and free ourselves with questions that have no definite answers!

You’re ugly and pretty!

You’re dumb and smart!

You’re free and not free!

You’re right and you’re wrong!

It’s all ok…

Click to play!

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How to Undo the Control, Compete, Create Conditioning

This is the final and most important post I’ll do in the Undoing Series which tackled our societal problem with competing, controlling and creating an image for ourselves and our lives.

PerfectionismRelentless and toxic social media useOversharingPretending to be things we’re notPuffing up/showing offComparing ourselves to othersHustle and grind (exhaustion as a badge of honour and worth)Misery loves company, so drag others down with youCompetition with everyone, even for who has it worseOur attention-stealing modern society

Now we know what it is, what do we do about it?

In the simplest form: you need to break the cycle.

You and you alone can do this in your own life. Society will always benefit from sheep. From people following the systems already created and doing whatever everyone else is doing, feeling awful while doing it because a beaten dog is easier to control. Again, let me say it loudly, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THESE THINGS ON THEIR OWN OR IN SMALL DOSES!

It’s the doing it mindlessly and obsessively that needs to change so we can wake up.

Simplify

The first piece of advice for letting go of society’s CCC culture is to simplify your life by focusing in on what is essential to you. I can’t tell you what those things are. However, I would urge you to consider what your values are. What’s important to you? What’s crucial? What matters, really?

Simplifying means, in a nutshell:

Deciding what is most important/prioritising effectivelyLetting go of long, unnecessary to do listsNot needing to be busy, instead being productive doing the right thingsAccepting and valuing yourself for doing less with more intention and value in what’s important

What is essential? How can you adapt a minimalist view of only keeping that which is important and brings your joy?

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” – The Little Prince

Unplug

A way of simplifying our lives, stopping comparison, and living true to ourselves is to regularly unplug from the rat race of the modern, technological world. Being on social media all the time is not good for us. Being on our phones too often is not good for us. It’s distracting us from what matters: the here and now and those around us.

Actively unplug and have a routine of using your phone, iPad, laptop, TV, and social media less. Instead, engage with people around you, dance to some good music, write in a notebook, read a book, go outside, or go see your mother!

Know yourself

It is so important to know yourself, and yet I would argue most of us don’t. Maybe we can name what we like to eat and what we like to watch on TV. But can you name your shame triggers? Do you know 5 things that give you energy versus 5 things that drain your energy? Do you know what you fear (except spiders and tight spaces) and why?

Knowing yourself is freeing. It’s liberating. It’s not about liking everything about yourself or judging yourself or fixing yourself. Remember, perfection is NEVER the aim. But knowing some deeper things about yourself can help you cut back from harmful patterns, do things that matter, and quiet the chatter of the busy, overwhelming world around us.

What are your values?Where do you gain energy?Where do you lose energy?What would you do if failure and money were no object?What is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?What is the best thing?

Know your why

As I said in previous Undoing Series posts, you can’t go about your life mindlessly doing things. Not having any idea of who you are and what you want. Yes, do things for fun or spontaneously. Those are good reasons in themselves! But don’t go eating another chocolate bar without knowing why. Don’t go breaking up with another boyfriend without knowing why. Don’t go for that job without knowing why you want it.

Be careful not to drift through your life passively going from one thing to another, having the world make decisions for you.

Making active decisions is hard. It is. It takes discipline and good decisions only feel good when people know themselves and trust themselves because they know what they want and therefore they choose those things to create the life they want. But as I said, a lot of us don’t actually deeply know ourselves or trust ourselves.

Knowing why you do what you do (honestly) is healthy and important information. Bad or good, it’s important to know why you do what you do. “I’m eating because I feel stressed” or “I broke up with him because I don’t believe I deserve good things” it’s all good information to know.

Love & care for yourself

There are ways to love yourself even when you don’t feel too good about yourself. We have basic needs that always need to be met, and yet many of us are neglecting these things in pursuit of MORE MORE MORE to impress people who don’t care about us, really. This is good food, good sleep, a safe home, and a support system.

What would really happen if you didn’t stay up until midnight working on that side hustle?

What would really happen if you didn’t skip lunch to take more calls from clients?

What would happen if you spoke about your feelings of not being good enough with your partner, close friend or sibling instead of venting on social media to strangers?

Show yourself some love by giving your body, mind and spirit what it truly needs. I beg of you.

You don’t need to give in to a world that’s telling you to do and be MORE. A world forcing you to feel like you need to compete, create, control and compare to feel worthy of living! Just live. Breathe, look after yourself, do what’s important, listen to yourself and those who matter, and just live.

Sincerely,

S. xx

Safe places to escape to when the world is too unjust and cruel to handle right now

Many of us are saddened by the news of the racism faced by the England team after their defeat against Italy on Sunday night. I won’t give those bigoted cowards any more attention, but I will say that they are, as a friend said, the few but we are the plenty…

If like me you’re feeling emotionally exhausted once again, here are some ways to escape and fill your cup again.

Watch some anime (it never fails to make me feel good and pumped to fight against crazy weird enemies! I’m currently watching My Hero Academia and Seven Deadly Sins)Watch your favourite feel good tv show (Brooklyn 99, Parks and Rec, Community, Kim’s Convenience, Friends, Bobs Burgers etc)Cuddle up with your pet or partner or mom or sister or dad or bestie (or form a massive cuddle party!)Work out and work off the bad energy (I did an awesome MMA style work out and it made me feel powerful which is what we need right now)Yoga (work through the toxic energy)Meditate (a focused guided meditation is best in these times) Journal (dump all that heavy mental shiz onto the page) Cook something mindfully and enjoy it’s deliciousness Read your favourite book (HP heal my soul!!) Wear something or style your hair in a way that makes you feel sexy and badassWrite a list of things that you’re grateful for and that you think are beautiful about life Sit in nature Listen to some awesome feel good tunes and dance like no one is watching Write something funny, cool, magical or weird and lose yourself in that creative space (fan fiction writing is perfect for anyone and they’re super fun!) Play a game Do a challenge or quiz of some sort to refocus your mind Have a calming aromatic bathCall your mom Clean your space (it’s calming and productive and will feel like you’re clearing your mind, too)Read articles about awesome people doing awesome things that restore faith in humanity (thank you to these people)

Things I’d advise you NOT to do right now:

Go on social media more to see what’s happeningCheck the news (it will be depressing and disappointing I’m sure)Drink alcohol or take drugs Watch triggering tv shows Watch or read triggering content of any sort to do with racism, war, injustice etc OvereatLet yourself sit in your hateful thoughts, the enemy wins if you turn their hate into your hate

Take care. Well done England team. Don’t let hate turn you bitter. We are the plenty.

Sincerely,

S. xx