Colleen Brown's Blog, page 224
January 31, 2014
When I saw you for the first time,all that I could see was the future that we could someday build...
When I saw you
for the first time,
all that I could
see was the
future that we
could someday
build together.
A future that we
both wanted
so badly.
But when I saw you
for the last time,
all I could see
was our past
and just how much
time we both wasted
wanting our love
to be as real
as we always
imagined.
The only things I can relate her to are what I've already experienced of life's beauty. She's the first day you feel the spring air start to push its way through the winter chill. She's the smell of lilacs after a summer rainstorm. She's the sound of snow
She’s so very lucky to be loved by someone like you.
January 30, 2014
I really want to go back to the night where we smoked cigarettes with the windows up and listened to...
I really want to go back to the night where we smoked cigarettes with the windows up and listened to the smiths as we were driving to another city at 2 a.m.
"I will romanticize my loneliness
because that’s the only way
that it will ever seem bearable
to me..."
I will romanticize my loneliness
because that’s the only way
that it will ever seem bearable
to me when I am by myself
in a world that I will never
seem to belong to or in.
So when did wanting someone
to love you for who you are
become something that we
took as a sign of weakness?
I know that I am not weak
because of the dedication
that I have invested into her.
I don’t need her because I am
broken. I need her because
everything feels misshapen
without her here to clear the air.
If I want to tell her in a poetic
tone that all I have ever
wanted was just inside
of her skin, I should be able
to tell her without feeling
as if I am breaking the rules,
or that I am destroying
everything that everyone
took the time to put together.
But I didn’t know that
needing someone who
makes you want to be
a better person was something
of a bad thing. And I didn’t
know that putting all of your
hopes and desires into
someone who radiates
with the feeling of tenderness
would be something
that would be considered
dependent and pathetic.
- "Stop telling me what I can and can’t do," - Colleen Brown
"I will romanticize my loneliness
because that’s the only way
that it will ever seem..."
I will romanticize my loneliness
because that’s the only way
that it will ever seem bearable
to me when I am by myself
in a world that I will never
seem to belong to or in.
So when did wanting someone
to love you for who you are
become something that we
took as a sign of weakness?
I know that I am not weak
because of the dedication
that I have invested into her.
I don’t need her because I am
broken. I need her because
everything feels misshapen
without her here to clear the air.
If I want to tell her in a poetic
tone that all I have ever
wanted was just inside
of her skin, I should be able
to tell her without feeling
as if I am breaking the rules,
or that I am destroying
everything that everyone
took the time to put together.
But I didn’t know that
needing someone who
makes you want to be
a better person was something
of a bad thing. And I didn’t
know that putting all of your
hopes and desires into
someone who radiates
with the feeling of tenderness
would be something
that would be considered
dependent and pathetic.
- "Stop telling me what I can and can’t do," - Colleen Brown
You are not my only sourceof happiness, and you are notthe only person who is able toblind me with...
You are not my only source
of happiness, and you are not
the only person who is able to
blind me with the light of love.
I wish you wouldn’t think
that you are the only reason
that I am still here. Or the
only reason that I am still fighting.
You may have helped me
through a lot, but that doesn’t
mean that you have helped me
through it all.
Small reminders to remind youthat it’s going to be okay.
Small reminders to remind you
that it’s going to be okay.
January 29, 2014
The tables have turned, and now you are the one with a knife to your wrists, begging me to...
The tables have turned,
and now you are the one
with a knife to your wrists,
begging me to reconsider.
But I’m not going to
change my mind, and
I am not going to love you
just because you said
that it’s either me or the end.
I will never surrender to you.
Even if that means losing
you to your own selfish mind.
It’s hard to say
that I love you,
when I don’t even
know what I want.
It’s hard to say
that I love you,
when I don’t even
know what I want.
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