Colleen Brown's Blog, page 223

I didn’t knowwhat it felt liketo really be lovedfor who I amuntil I met you.

I didn’t know
what it felt like
to really be loved
for who I am
until I met you.

They were right when they saidto never fall in lovewith a writer.Because I have,and it’s...

They were right 
when they said
to never
fall in love
with a writer.

Because I have,
and it’s something
that I know that I
will never be able
to recover from.

I’m picturing her legswrapped around his waist,and I hate to admit it,but it’s slowly...

I’m picturing her legs
wrapped around his waist,
and I hate to admit it,
but it’s slowly killing me.
The thought of her lips
against his, and the image
of her body tangled in his,
is something that I cannot
help but to think of.
I do this to myself, I know
that. My mind is telling me
that it’s time to move on.
She has, so why can’t I?
But it’s not as easy as that,
and I don’t have to 
go through it multiple
times to understand
that it all hurts the same.
I’m picturing him
swallowing her whole,
and I hate to admit it
but it’s slowly killing me.

Stars diedwhen youmade loveto mefor thefirst time.

Stars died
when you
made love
to me
for the
first time.

"I am not beautiful.I am not a walking metaphor,and I am not a syllablethat can be said..."

“I am not beautiful.

I am not a walking metaphor,

and I am not a syllable

that can be said without

your mouth feeling as if

it’s on fire. I am not something

that can be turned into a poem,

turned into something

that everyone can relate to.

I am not a role model.

I have more scars on my skin

than I do birthmarks,

and I put them there myself.

That isn’t beautiful,

and that isn’t something

that someone should

look up to or want to become.

I am not a hero. My words

are what keep my spine

from falling out of place,

and my meaning is the

only thing that has kept me

from not losing my mind

for all of these years.

There is nothing beautiful

about not being able to

look in the mirror in the morning,

and there is nothing

romantic about being alone

at 2 a.m. and smelling

of cigarettes and wine.

I am not beautiful,

and I am not someone

that anyone should

want to become.”

- "I am not someone that anyone should admire," - Colleen Brown

2/1/14Today is the startof a new month,and a new chapter.But for some reason,I am still stuckon the...

2/1/14

Today is the start
of a new month,
and a new chapter.
But for some reason,
I am still stuck
on the pages before.
The pages that involve
you being with me,
and my heart
being at ease.
I am not ready
to move on
just yet.

I know that I am not weak.And I know that I don’t need youto feel happy, but being withyou...

I know that I am not weak.
And I know that I don’t need you
to feel happy, but being with
you does help. Even if you
are happier without me.

Someday you will find mewith my arms open,and my heart full of lovethat has been waitingfor you to...

Someday you will find me
with my arms open,
and my heart full of love
that has been waiting
for you to accept it
with an open mind.

I want you to want me, but I don’t want you to want me just because you are ...

I want you 
 to want me,
  but I don’t
   want you
    to want me
     just because
      you are
       lonely.

Whenever I feel weak,I think of you, and everythingsuddenly becomes bearable again, and I feel as if...

Whenever I feel weak,
I think of you, and everything
suddenly becomes bearable again,
and I feel as if I can carry the weight
of the entire world on my fragile shoulders.