Colleen Brown's Blog, page 278

I see youin every personthat I passon the street.I don’t seeall of you,but I see parts...

I see you

in every person

that I pass

on the street.

I don’t see

all of you,

but I see parts

of you in more

than just one

person at a time,

and at this rate

I’m going in,

I know that I will

never be able to

fully forget you.

I should haveloved youmore thoroughly,but I wastoo busytrying to learnhow to lovemyself...

I should have

loved you

more thoroughly,

but I was

too busy

trying to learn

how to love

myself more

properly.

That sad look people have in their eyes when they are saying goodbye to someone who they never...

That sad look people have in their eyes when they are saying goodbye to someone who they never really knew at all, but wished with everything that they could have.

I’m going to stop being sad about people who never wanted to fit into my life properly. Also,...

I’m going to stop being sad about people who never wanted to fit into my life properly. Also, I need to stop dwelling in the past about lovers who never really knew how to love me in the way that I needed. Dismissing someone from your life, I’ve learned, does not make you a bad person, but it does make you seem picky, and I’d rather pick people for the rest of my life than let them just walk into my home without an invitation. I went to a party last night and I spent half of the time in the bathroom, in the basement, and in the backyard by myself. I kept telling everyone that I was going out, or going away to smoke a splif, but really I was going away to collect my thoughts, and to grasp the truth about people I will never see again. So why does it matter? Why do I need to constantly throw myself backwards to impress people who will judge me from what is covering my body. I’m learning more about myself everyday. Mostly when I am brought into situations that I was least expecting.

Today was warm but too revealing, and now I feel as if I am...

Today was warm

but too revealing,

and now I feel

as if I am shrinking

into someone I never

wanted to become.

lips as soft as a peaches skin

lips as soft as a peaches skin

When I wake up,the first thing I dois check the other side of the bed to seeif you’re...

When I wake up,

the first thing I do

is check the other side

of the bed to see

if you’re still there,

if you’re still fighting

to be mine.

So here is to

the mornings that are

filled with empty

bedsides, and realizations

that maybe saying

I love you, wasn’t

enough.

I enjoy the soundof a cigarette hissingin a puddle of water.I enjoy the soundof you telling...

I enjoy the sound

of a cigarette hissing

in a puddle of water.

I enjoy the sound

of you telling me

that you love me,

but you can’t love

me anymore, because

you’re as tired as I am.

But most of all, I enjoy

the sound of you

shutting the door

behind you as you go.

Because nothing is more

enjoyable than the sound

of someone leaving

who never really belonged.

Are you in love?

I’m in love with the thought of someday being in love.

You probably hope that theydon’t see you sneaking in;three in the morning,with your breath reekingof...

You probably hope that they
don’t see you sneaking in;
three in the morning,
with your breath reeking
of fermented grapes,
and your tongue coated
in half smoked cigars.
But then again,
you do want them to see;
show them that
you were safe enough
to end up in your bed
by the time the sun
starts to rise.
And even if they don’t
hear or see you,
you just want to make it known
that you had a good time,
and that this is a small sign
that you are getting better.