Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 58

Ask lunaKM – “Prove You’re Submissive” Tests

I’m VERY new to this so please keep that in mind. I was approached recently about becoming a submissive. I’m interested and intrigued. I’m not a 100% sure I would be a good one but I’m in the process of researching, learning and figuring it out. Having said all that I need to know if what my prospective Master asked me to do is an acceptable first request in the D/s world. I have not yet accepted and he gave me what I am guessing is a test to see if I’m seriously considering being a sub. He asked me to call a phone number, give my first name, and then say “so and so” (name removed) is my Master.

Is this common in the D/s world? I have no idea who i’m calling and it makes me nervous. Is it a club I’m joining? Is it just a friend of his to prove I’m serious? Is it some type of scam? I’m not sure and no explanation was given. Only, once I receive the phone number I’ll have 10 minutes to call it. I realize I’ll be tested to prove my submission is serious but I’m not sure if this a common test among the D/s world. Any information on this would be greatly appreciated!

Hi there novice,

Challenges like this make me cringe. They really have nothing to do with submission in the context of a relationship and more like a prove you are naïve and willing to do anything I ask you to (including things that could jeopardize your livelihood). This is a common practice for people who are online only or that just like to play sex games. Serious relationships don’t go this direction. So keep that in mind.

Getting to the meat of it, is it common to be asked to do things that may make you uncomfortable? Yes, but not in the beginning stages of a relationship where you hardly know each other let alone had any negotiations or time to be comfortable talking to one another. This particular request though seems insanely silly and I personally wouldn’t do it. Who knows what the number is. It could be anyone on the other end of the line. And how does it really prove you are a submissive looking for a D/s relationship? Just because you are willing to comply and actually make a phone call? Yes you are new and I realize you don’t know what to expect from a Dominant, but using common sense is a good thing to learn.

Now, since you are new I highly recommend you don’t jump right into a relationship with the first person that offers you their attention. Learn about BDSM and submission on your own terms, in your own time. That way you can learn how to vet someone and know when someone is being an immature game player or a serious interested person. You might want to sign up for one or both of my free ecourses for starting out in BDSM and submission.

Most importantly for now, don’t do anything you are uncomfortable doing. You’ll learn your limits in time.

Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!

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Published on April 08, 2015 07:00

Q&A: Subbie Siblings

“Subbie Siblings – we either love or hate this phrase. While the lifestyle is unique to each of us, do we have things in common that set us aside from other women? Do we naturally form a close bond and a willingness to help, or are we just here selfishly to get what we can get without a care of another’s feelings?”

I naturally seek to help people constantly, almost to a detriment. I want to assist people financially, academically, mentally, physically, and I rarely expect anything as a compensation for my time, effort, or money. I very much care about how people are feeling and have, in the past, tried to help a stranger who was expressing discomfort or sadness. It was not until I came abroad, however, that I realized why I am this way, and how other people act in such situations.

I am living in Austria. Here the people are not cold, but they are removed from situations with which they are not directly involved. They do not smile on the train when eye contact is made and they do not strike up random conversation when you are standing next to them in line. When you have something in common with an Austrian, however, such as living in the same building and facing a similar issue (in my case, a gas leak) or being on a same team, they are incredibly friendly and hospitable. But they need something in common to interact with you.

I realized that while this is exaggerated in Austria, as opposed to the United States, the situation is true everywhere. Psychologically speaking, people who feel that they have something in common, if it is only the color of a pen that an experimenter hands out, they are much kinder to that individual.

Within the lifestyle I think that this concept is incredibly pertinent. We are compassionate and willing to help others who we feel are most similar to us. I am a member of many Facebook groups and the lifestyle related groups are far more active than any of the others. People are free-flowing with questions and advice constantly on a variety of thoughts. They comfort one another when someone is sad, and they help to resolve issues when they arise. I think this is because this is the only place which they have people who they identify with about this facet of their lifestyle.

Within that, however, there are particular people who seek to provide support to everyone, however, most people, some of the administrators included, only offer genuine help to those who they feel most close to. For example, I asked a question of other people about their experiences as a babygirl when I was still struggling with my identity within the lifestyle. An admin felt that my question was not worthwhile and gave me an incredibly snarky response, which ostracized me temporarily from the group and thus no one else stepped forward to answer my question because they did not view me as being like them.

I think that the same is true on educational websites such as this one. People will comment on posts that particularly resonate with them. They are more likely to read articles by authors whom they feel are most similar to them in some way – whether that be emotionally, physically, or in terms of the role which they play with their Dominant. We are more likely to care about people who are like us.

That being said, there are many people who come to websites, such as this, seeking particular information and not caring about other people’s experiences. There are people who are just by nature more or less compassionate towards others – perhaps due to more life experiences which allow them to better relate to others. Overall, however, I think that most people accent the idea of the term “Subbie Siblings” because despite differences and nuances within our relationships, we are all interacting with a socially taboo subject.

Want to know what lunaKM thinks of Submissive Siblings? Read her post “Don’t Assume Submissive Means Sister” or check out Lady Sneak’s view on Supportive Relationships between Submissives.

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on April 07, 2015 07:00

How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships

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It’s often the case that protocol develops in D/s relationships that start out with a bit of structure to them, whether the relationship intended it or not. While there are some casual style relationships that have protocol, I haven’t seen a lot of it when a relaxed relationship is preferred. Now with that said, I bet you are wondering what protocol is and how it is developed in relationships! I’m going to cover the basics of protocol, some different types of protocol and then talk about how to develop your own protocol in your relationship.

As with anything, this is a joint effort so you will want to talk to your Dominant before trying to start a protocol on your own. The best protocols work when both parties are actively involved.

Protocol is a defined, enforced code of behavior. It can dictate body, behavior and attitudes through enforcement or ritual. All those detailed rules that you have when you first start out with someone can be protocol. Think about it. Rules are a code of behavior. If it’s enforced then it’s a protocol. If you ritualize it, then it’s protocol. Granted, the “obey” rule isn’t exactly protocol, but if you have to wear your hair a certain way, dress a certain way, speak a certain way or interact with others a certain way (just as examples) then that can be protocol.

There are some invisible protocols that fly under the radar in the vanilla environment. These are used often with couples that have children or D/s in public places. If you think about it, a lot of the rules you currently have go unnoticed in public places or with your family. The ones that don’t you likely have a secret code for them so no one has to know you have to ask to use the restroom or have your meals chosen for you (just examples).

Using honorifics is the most common use of protocol in D/s relationships. Honorifics is just a fancy term for the titles we use for our Dominants that convey esteem, respect and authority. In vanilla settings, you might have a different term that means the same thing or gives you the same feeling. Most people use terms of endearment or the more traditional “Sir”.

Language conventions are also a form of protocol, more often seen online than off, but it is evident and powerful for submissives who use them. Things like Capped/uncapped slashy speak where pronouns include the capital and lower case letters; for example, “T/they, U/us, O/our.” It’s used to remind submissives that Dominants and submissives are separate and that in this code of behavior, they are constantly reminding of this separation. Third person speech is also an online D/s invention to put submissives in a headspace that they are not a person but owned property. In this convention submissives can not refer to themselves in the first person, so pronouns like I, me, my and mine are banned. Instead they often say things like, “this girl, this slave, or this one.”

Considerations for Developing Protocol

First, protocol should be a statement of what to do rather than a statement of what not to do. Make it an action or positive improvement. The reasoning behind this is that no one wants to be told what they can’t do and having to remember negative rules is depressing thing for any new submissive. Even more experienced submissives can feel like all they have are things they can’t do if given a list of protocol that is mainly negative in nature.

A few examples would be:

Positive
Submissive should wear dresses or skirts every day.
Submissive will ask to use the restroom while in the Dominant’s presence.
Submissive is to be fully shaved everyday.
Submissive’s bedtime is 11pm.
Submissive may sit on the furniture with Dominant’s permission.

Negative
Submissive must not wear pants or shorts.
Submissive can not go to the bathroom without permission.
Submissive should not allow hair growth in areas that must be shaved.
Submissive must not stay up past 11pm.
Submissive can not sit on the furniture without permission.

Protocol should be maintained with little or no Dominant interaction or maintenance. The logic behind this is that it should be something that you do as a part of your submission and the application of specific rules or behaviors need to be things that become habit and a part of your natural routine. If your Dominant is constantly having to check to make sure you are following your rules it becomes a chore instead of something for positive reinforcement of your power exchange relationship.

With that said, failure to follow protocol should be easily noticed by the Dominant so that they can help you get back on track, be that with punishment or positive reinforcement.

A good choice in protocol will enrich the submissive’s head space and accentuate the power dynamic. If it makes the Dominant’s preferences well-known and ever-present then it should be something positive for the Dominant as well.

Implemented protocol should be practical for the relationship or situation. Having to kneel every time you need to ask a question might be hot at home but it’s not very practical in a public space. So make sure there are guidelines or adjustments made for occasions where your desired protocol can not happen. This goes into the idea of having different levels of protocol. We’ll talk a little about that below.

When developing protocol make sure you have frequent adjustments if boredom sets in. Boredom can render protocol useless to both you and your partner. No one likes boredom!

Different Levels of Protocol

If you’ve been in the lifestyle and online for any length of time you will likely have been exposed to the idea of High Protocol. There really is no universal meaning in place but it always involves elaborate and specific restrictions or behaviors for situations or occasions. This is where slave uniforms, speech restrictions and more come into play more often than in a more relaxed relationship.

Most relationships that have any sort of rules and protocol will usually be a low protocol situation. It takes a lot of work from both parties to make protocol work as intended for both people. If you progress though the basic rules and start adding rituals (another topic entirely) or more detailed instructions to the protocol, like my coffee service then you are likely moving into moderate protocol.

High protocol is really a misnomer since the impression of someone’s protocol is subject to what you like, what you are currently engaged in for your own relationship and what the participants believe. I’ve been told that KnyghtMare and I are high protocol, but that’s far from the truth for us. I think we are more moderate or medium protocol in that I have rules for specific scenarios like BDSM meetings, parties and in private – each with their own level of awareness or focus.

With that, I think we’ve covered a lot of the basics of protocol development. What questions do you have about protocol? Maybe they will end up in another article!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on April 06, 2015 07:00

lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections

Hi folks,

Spring is coming here. The grass is starting to not look as brown, the temperatures are warming up and the tornado sirens are sounding frequently. Ah, Spring in the Midwest. When I think about Spring things that come to mind (other than hay fever) are the flowers. What are your favorite flowers to see in the Springtime?

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I work hard to write and produce the content and I don’t ask for much in return. This is a small way you can show me that you appreciate my efforts. If you love what Submissive Guide provides, the site has helped you in some way or you just feel that you want to support a positive influence in the BDSM and D/s communities you can now become a patron of Submissive Guide through Patreon.com! For as little as $3 US a month you can show your support and help me reach goals to bring this site into the next level of service and content creation. Check out my page on Patreon.com and become a fan of Submissive Guide!

Now for the week in review:
This Week on Submissive Guide

This section highlights the articles posted this week on Submissive Guide and other updates to the blog, if any.

Book Review: BDSM Mastery: Your Guide to Play, Parties and Scene Protocols
Book Review: Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas by tequilarose

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Ask lunaKM Advice Column

The advice column where I try my best to help you with your questions and personal situation challenges.

Ask lunaKM – No Communication All Night – Am I Oversensitive?

My Dom and I are usually in constant communication. We are a relatively new couple and new to the lifestyle. The last two months have been amazing. When I say two calls a day and at least 100 texts a day, . Last night he went to a friend’s house and I had no communication with him for 14hrs. It was awful. My stomach hurt, I had the shakes, I cried. It was sub drop/frenzy I am sure. However, it has led me to question everything. I don’t think it was very responsible of him, and I am disappointed in him. Am I being oversensitive?

Ask your question, anonymously, to get a chance for me to answer your question on the site.

Dug Out from the Archives

Let’s dig into the archives and reconsider some of the older articles on Submissive Guide that you may have missed.

In 2014: When Your Dominant Controls the Money by Andrew
In 2013: Single Submissives Need Personal Responsibility
In 2012: Submissive Speech 1: Addressing Individuals
In 2011: Processing Pain in Play: Positive Pain Management Techniques
In 2010: Domesticity: The Bedroom

Browse the categories to see what else is on the site.

Recent Journal Prompts

Submissive Journal Prompts is a thinking prompt and quote site that can help you with topics for your journal or your own thinking.

“The heart is the temple wherein all truth resides.” – Kahlil Gibran
Do you feel it is most effective that an experienced owner act as a mentor for potential slaves, or experienced slaves act as a mentor for those pursuing slavery?
Have you been through some form of orgasm training? This could be restriction or cum on command training or perhaps erotic hypnosis?
Do you journal for yourself, or is it something your owner expects? Does your owner read your journal? Do you write with your owner in mind as an audience?
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Featured Podcast of the Week – The Fearless Submissive

TFS- Episode 56

18 Mar 2015, 3:34am GMT

→ The Fearless Submissive

Serviceslut joins me to talk about negotiations. This podcast contains portions of the book SM 101 from Jay Wiseman. Published by Greenery Press. Copyright 1998.

MP3 audio (60MB, 66min)

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Published on April 05, 2015 10:00

Ask lunaKM – No Communication All Night – Am I Oversensitive?

My Dom and I are usually in constant communication. We are a relatively new couple and new to the lifestyle. The last two months have been amazing. When I say two calls a day and at least 100 texts a day, . Last night he went to a friend’s house and I had no communication with him for 14hrs. It was awful. My stomach hurt, I had the shakes, I cried. It was sub drop/frenzy I am sure. However, it has led me to question everything. I don’t think it was very responsible of him, and I am disappointed in him. Am I being oversensitive?

Hi there,

New relationship energy and sub frenzy are very powerful, emotional times in our lives. It’s hard to see ourselves as greedy and needy when what we feel is good and happy and bubbly. But I think you may be expecting a bit too much from a new relationship. Fourteen hours are really not that long. And if he’s not allowed to have time with his friends without you constantly in his phone notifications then maybe you should consider how you’d feel if you wanted a girl’s night out but had to constantly talk to him while you were trying to enjoy the evening.

Not responsible of him? You knew he was with friends, at night. Most people go out for drinks or fun, then actually need to sleep. Honestly that seems like a normal time period to be out of contact. What do you expect of him, realistically?

A relationship doesn’t have to be the ONLY thing in his life, he has friends and I’m assuming work and daily grind as well. If you expect him to respond to your every single text (and over 100 a day is insane, in my opinion) then maybe you should re-evaluate what you expect from a relationship. It’s just not realistic to expect someone to be available every single moment you want to chit-chat.

Learn how to process your feelings with sub drop and frenzy. I have some great articles on both things so you can understand your responses.

Sub Drop

Sub Frenzy

Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on April 01, 2015 07:00

Book Review: Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas

While I was doing research for my article about resources for littles, I stumbled across this book and noticed that it’s one of only a small handful of non-fiction books that I found written about the little dynamic. I had heard about it before in passing, but hadn’t given it much thought until I had stumbled across it again a second time. Instead of allowing it to once again be a fleeting thought, I one clicked and instantly dived in.

Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas is written by Paul Rulof, who is a daddy dominant and is extremely active in the Chicago alternative sex scene and also does a lot of work focusing on bringing attention and acceptance to the age play and little dynamics. He has degrees in psychology and sociology and his education really shows throughout the book with the massive amounts of research that Rulof has done.

There are a lot of topics covered in this book from what is age play to the history, the stigma of age playing, as well as how to deal with aftercare and drop, and etiquette and sample contracts and scenes. I know for a lot of adult babies and other littles, the term age player can be a bit off putting because there is a huge difference between the two(that’s a whole separate article), but as a little if you can overlook the use of the terms age playing and age player, I think you would enjoy reading the book.

While there is a lot of valuable information in this book, I have to honestly say that my favorite chapter of this book is the one that covers the stigmas that are involved when it comes to age playing or being a little. The biggest one that Rulof touches on is one of the biggest misconceptions in the age play and little dynamic, and probably even more so for the males who are involved in the dynamic and that is pedophilia. This is a common misconception that comes up when people who are unfamiliar with the dynamic hear about it. This quote about the topic really spoke a lot to me:

The purpose of pedophilia is not to celebrate childhood or display its virtues. Ageplay celebrates childhood, and the activities, dress, and rites of passage. Ageplay also celebrates childhood virtues as well: innocence, delightedness, and many others. In ageplay, all activities are consensual and scenes are constructed to provide participants with pleasure, satisfaction, or enjoyment.

I really feel this is the perfect quote to sum up exactly what the age play and little dynamic is about and how in no way is it anything close to pedophilia.

Another thing that I really love from this book are the quotes from people who are age players or participate in the little dynamic. You will see these quotes throughout the entire book on various topics and I really like this because it helps to make the book more relatable. While there are a great deal of facts and statistics, which my geeky self loves, the facts can get a bit overwhelming and the quotes, to me anyways, helps to connect the reader to what is being discussed.

I also love the broad range of topics that are written about because there are so many things that take place within a little or adult baby. The emotional connection, power dynamics, types of both littles and caregivers, stigmas that we have to deal with from people who don’t understand the dynamic, and educational resources such as a negotiation form, glossary, and a sample contract. I feel there’s a lot of beneficial information in the book and it’s worth the read.

You can purchase a copy of Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Tequila R’s Rating: 8/10

Paperback: 208 Pages

Publisher: The Nazca Plains Corporation (September 1, 2011)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1610981901

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on March 31, 2015 07:00

Book Review: BDSM Mastery: Your Guide to Play, Parties and Scene Protocols

It’s been a long while since I’ve reviewed any books on Submissive Guide and boy do I have a back log! The first book up for review is from the BDSM Mastery series by Robert J Rubel Ph.D and M. Jen Fairfield titled BDSM Mastery – Basics: your guide to play, parties and scene protocols. This book is written for people interested in entering the face to face community and exploring BDSM in their lives. It’s also helpful for people who have played privately but are ready to get into the local scene. As Bob explains in the Introduction, “This is not a book that explains what BDSM is, this is a book that explains what BDSM is all about.”

And he sticks with that through the book. It’s more than definitions and simple logic, it’s a walk-through about how BDSM looks and feels, how it develops and how to find people that like the things you do. So, if you are looking for a book that tells you how to use a cane, or where the danger spots are on the body, you won’t find it here. But you will find why someone would enjoy caning, how to physiologically set up a scene and learn about the importance of trust when building a scene.

The authors propel the reader through the book with stories and first hand accounts, quotes and input from others well known in the BDSM community. This is definitely a plus, considering I’ve read a lot of beginning BDSM books and they tend to get dry and boring if you don’t include any anecdotes. Of course, most of them were more focused on definitions and labels, than really walking you through BDSM as an interactive part.

Once you get past the introduction you’ll learn about safety and getting to know yourself within BDSM, finding partners and stepping out into the local community through munches and parties. Don’t skip over these sections, even if you are active participant of the scene! There is valuable information in this book for experienced people too.

My favorite chapter was chapter 5 on Negotiations and Play. Far too often, leaders and teachers gloss over appropriate negotiation techniques not only for playing, but for relationships, witnessing a scene and even aftercare. Bob and Jen do a wonderful job emphasizing the negotiation phase and how to do it as thoroughly as possible so that the exchange between the people is fulfilling for both. Not only that, they cover how to witness a scene, how to approach the players after play if you have questions and how to address the dungeon monitor if you have concerns. These things rarely get addressed, and unless they are talked about at the beginning of a party, novices don’t know the protocol behind any of these things.

If you are looking for how to set up a scene and what goes on during play, what to do if things go wrong and so much more to do with scenes you’ll get a lot of wonderful information in the remaining chapters of the book. I really appreciated these chapters because a lot of the questions that I get about what a scene looks like can be answered in these sections. It always helps to have resource material to offer people!

This book is definitely getting added to my recommended reading for novices.

Product Details

lunaKM’s Rating: 10/10
Series: BDSM Mastery
Paperback: 222 pages
Publisher: Red Eight Ball Press (December 17, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0986352101

Buy your copy now from Amazon!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on March 30, 2015 07:00

lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections

Hi folks,

Sleeping has been a problem for me for some time now and I know I’m going to have to break down and do a sleep study soon. Based on a suggestion from a friend I’m taking Melatonin to see if that helps me stay asleep. The last 2 nights I’ve slept in KnyghtMare’s bed and I’ve had restful sleep. It could mean a lot of things… the futon mattress I’m sleeping on is uncomfortable, the cats keep waking me up, or the Melatonin is helping. Even a combination isn’t ruled out.

I’m sure you’ll all agree that sleep is important to daytime productivity. So I have to get it figured out, and soon.

Just a few Days Remain to Enter The Enclosed Giveaway! – Enter Now!!

Join the growing list of fans that get to hang out with me monthly on Google Hangout!
Monthly Video Posts Return! Thank you for the support. Next Goal: Upgrade the Servers (Just $8 more dollars/mo. pledged and I’ll reach this goal!)I work hard to write and produce the content and I don’t ask for much in return. This is a small way you can show me that you appreciate my efforts. If you love what Submissive Guide provides, the site has helped you in some way or you just feel that you want to support a positive influence in the BDSM and D/s communities you can now become a patron of Submissive Guide through Patreon.com! For as little as $3 US a month you can show your support and help me reach goals to bring this site into the next level of service and content creation. Check out my page on Patreon.com and become a fan of Submissive Guide!

Now for the week in review:
This Week on Submissive Guide

This section highlights the articles posted this week on Submissive Guide and other updates to the blog, if any.

Feeling Less Submissive – Submissive Mediation Monday
Love in the Lifestyle by charmed blyss
[Free Printable] Solo-Coaching Your Way to Better Submission

If you’d like to stay up to date with articles on Submissive Guide, please subscribe to the feed.

Ask lunaKM Advice Column

The advice column where I try my best to help you with your questions and personal situation challenges.

Ask lunaKM – Going to a Munch Alone

Hi! I am rather new to all this but I would like to attend my first munch… The only problem I seem to have is, I’m really shy when it comes to meeting new people and I’m also new to where I am living and I don’t know anyone in the BDSM world, so I would be going to this munch alone and as much as I want to go the idea of going alone makes me not want to just as much. I don’t know what to do…I want to go but I’m terrified as well because I won’t know a single soul.

Ask your question, anonymously, to get a chance for me to answer your question on the site.

Dug Out from the Archives

Let’s dig into the archives and reconsider some of the older articles on Submissive Guide that you may have missed.

In 2014: Traveling With Toys: A Submissive’s Dilemma by pinksubgeek
In 2013: The Most Popular and Favorite Books on BDSM – According to Our Readers
In 2012: Perspectives: Erotic Spanking
In 2011: 5 Things to Give Your Safe Call Person
In 2010: Ask lunaKM – Universal Safe Words and the Different Relationship Types

Browse the categories to see what else is on the site.

Recent Journal Prompts

Submissive Journal Prompts is a thinking prompt and quote site that can help you with topics for your journal or your own thinking.

Have you been through some form of orgasm training? This could be restriction or cum on command training or perhaps erotic hypnosis?
Do you feel it is most effective that an experienced owner act as a mentor for potential slaves, or experienced slaves act as a mentor for those pursuing slavery?
“The heart is the temple wherein all truth resides.” – Kahlil Gibran
How do you handle failing at a task your owner gives?
Subscribe to Submissive Journal Prompts to get them as they are released!

Featured Podcast of the Week – The People of Kink

TPOK Minicast 23 – Communication is key

25 Mar 2015, 5:00am GMT

→ The People of Kink

We talk about how important communication is in our lifestyle. Great communication leads to trust and deeper connections. From being able to talk about what fantasy’s that we might have to being a good listener. Open, honest communication in any part of your life is good. Communication in kink….priceless.

MP3 audio (17MB, 18min)

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[Free Printable] Solo-Coaching Your Way to Better Submission

Here’s this month’s free download! I’ve put together some of my best articles on Solo-Coaching (being your own mentor) and I think it will be a great help you many of you! It’s 12 pages of suggestions and things you can do to get you on track with your goals and personal fulfillment.

What’s Inside?

What is Solo Coaching?
Scheduling Meetings with Yourself
The CREATE Model
Rewrite Negative Thinking
Ask Yourself the Right Questions
Become a Great Goal-Setting to Achieve your Submissive and Life Dreams

I have it set up through my ebook processor as a “pay what you like” book but if you set it to $0 you can still download it for free. Help yourself!

Related Posts:
Solo Coaching – The CREATE Model
Mentorship Misunderstandings
[Free Download] Creating a Drop Kit
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Published on March 27, 2015 07:00

Ask lunaKM – Going to a Munch Alone

Hi! I am rather new to all this but I would like to attend my first munch… The only problem I seem to have is, I’m really shy when it comes to meeting new people and I’m also new to where I am living and I don’t know anyone in the BDSM world, so I would be going to this munch alone and as much as I want to go the idea of going alone makes me not want to just as much. I don’t know what to do…I want to go but I’m terrified as well because I won’t know a single soul.

Hello dear reader,

Congrats on wanting to explore the BDSM community in your area. Stepping out to meet people is a scary endeavour no matter the reason. Add to it your new-found kinky desires and it can make you even more shy than you are.

A lot of people are shy with meeting new people, so you aren’t alone and others have made it through similar challenges. You can do it too!

First, make yourself known on the group’s website and discussion forum. Start participating from the comfort of your own home until you get to know some of the people who will be at the munches they host.

Once you are more comfortable see if you can meet the host on their own a few days before the munch for coffee or something. Of the munch hosts that I know, all of them are open to doing that to help with nerves from new people. They can answer some of your questions and will often agree to meet you outside the place on munch day so you can walk in together.

In the least, you will know one person when you walk into the munch that day. It can be the turning point to your new community involvement. Don’t let shyness keep you from your new life!

If you’d like more information about what to expect from a munch pick up my guide “Your First Munch“.

Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on March 25, 2015 07:00